Rabbanit Chana Henkin on Matan Torah and the Importance of Understanding Halacha

Ladies Shalom shalom and looking around the room, I see some familiar faces. I see some which are unfamiliar to me, but women who are here are blessed. I'm not going to be shy and the sense we all have of preparation for Shavuot. So, I want to start with two things. What I'm going Yes. Can you speak a little louder? Oh, is this better? Yes. Okay, I hear an echo when I do this, but yes, I can do this. If my voice tends to die out, please you're the one in charge, please remind me. >> [laughter] >> Okay, hold this tone. Hold this tone, Tanya. We'll be contextual in just one moment, but I want to say two things beforehand. One is that there's a rather astonishing baraita at the beginning of Maseches Chagigah and it goes like this. Can I print it for you? Um I'm just going to stop you for one second. Can I connect this on you for the for the video? Yes. Thank you. It's your job to take it before I leave because I'm supposed to leave in a little bit of a hurry. Okay, it is printed here, very good. The you know, we have Taryag Mitzvot. Mitzvah number Tof Resh Yud Bet, the 612th Mitzvah is the mitzvah of Hakhel, which occurs once in seven Thank you. Thank you. Which occurs once in seven years. Um the the entire congregation of Israel is to assemble Hakhel et ha'am ha'anashim v'hanashim v'hataf. And the Gemara in Hagigah asks about this mitzvah, at which the the entire congregation gathers together to hear the king reading the Torah. And that's a statement. That's a a statement because normally we have a separation of uh turf between the king and between the between the political leader or the the state leader and between the Kohen Gadol, the religious leader. But in this case, the from within the Beit Mikdash, which is the location of the Kohen Gadol, it's the king who reads to the people the entirety It's not the entirety of the Torah. He reads from Sefer Devarim from this place to that place, but he is reading to the It's the king to the entire people. So in the Gemara in Hagigah, did I bring Yes, I brought this. I brought this. I'm going to tell you this orally and we'll be dealing with texts in just a moment. Rabbi Elazar asks the following question. The pasuk says Hakhel et ha'am, gather together the uh people, the nation, ha'anashim v'hanashim v'hataf. The men, the women, and the children. So he reasons the men are coming in order to learn. Okay, we know that. There's a mitzvah of limud Torah. The women are coming lishmoa in order to hear. And the children, why are they coming? And the answer is to give sachar limvi'ei hem, to give rewards to those who bring them together. So, my husband uh zichronah livracha asked the following question. I should say zecher tzaddik livracha. Uh asked the following question. Wait, just a minute. There's one ma- mad hakhel. There's one reading by the kohen gadol, um excuse me, by the melech of of [laughter] of hakhel, of this Torah. So, the men and the women, picture them standing separately, put a mechitza there or don't put a mechitza there, we're not told. Well, of course, it's in the Beit Hamikdash. So, the women are in the ezrat nashim, the men are in the ezrat gvarim. But, there's only one reading. They're hearing the same thing. So, why is it that the men are learning and the women are hear- are hearing? They're coming to hear, whereas the men are coming to learn. And that's the message I want to give you before Shavuot, because Shavuot is Chag Matan Torah. It's it's it it's not just about cheesecake and blintzes. Um no, it's very important for us to remember the essence. Why do I say cheesecake and blintzes? Because there's no defining mitzvah of Shavuot. We don't blow shofar, we don't drink arba kosot, we don't eat matzah, we don't sit in a succah, we don't have a lulav and an etrog. So, it's very easy to forget about the prime uh reason of Shavuot, which is it's Chag Matan Torah, the Chag of giving the Torah. So, the men are coming to learn, the women are coming lishmoa, to hakel, to hakel, not to matan torah. So so if they're all hearing the same thing, why are the men coming to learn and the women coming to hear? So I want to give you my answer to that. He gives a very good answer, but I'm going to give you my answer to that. My answer to that is if you don't have a base, an organized basis, a tash teach sheet sheet, if [clears throat] you don't have an a a the the understanding, you can you can then feel the kedusha of the moment. You can feel the importance of the moment. But you don't have the res kol tanim, I'm sorry, my vocabulary is in Hebrew. I don't apologize. I've been living in this country for Baruch Hashem, for 50 be well beyond 50 years. Um you don't have what the learning can attach itself to. You need that organized basis. And I'm here to tell you, don't be afraid of learning. Learning is means sitting down with the text. I spent uh uh well over a year in uh putting this out. I want to learn something from it. It's been put out uh uh recently. Most of my work is in Hebrew, but I felt my husband's legacy after he uh passed away on my shoulders, and I said, "If I believe that women need to be learning, there are women who don't have enough Hebrew to take out a book of shailos u'tshuvos in Hebrew, and therefore I want to see this in English. So, um I want you to know this is available to you. We're going to learn something from within it, but I want us to remember my point is we must get at the text itself. And what I want to deal with is Torah Sheb'al Peh. Torah Sheb'al Peh comes to us through two channels. We received in Matan Torah we received the Torah Sheb'al Peh, the written Torah and the oral Torah. How did we get the oral Torah? You know, what I may at some point be prepared to deliver in English a a lesson what the oral Torah is, but I'm not doing that today. I'm going to bring us into it, but we have two channels that the Torah Sheb'al Peh, that Halakha comes to us via. One of them is codes of Jewish law. Codes of Jewish law means like Rambam, Tur, Shulchan Aruch, the contemporary modern day Mishnah Berurah, Aruch Hashulchan. These are codes. Codes are prescriptive. That means they We want to learn Halakhot of Berakhot. We open up one of the codes to learn what Berakha do I make? To to learn the details which Halakha prescribes to us. But there's another channel, and that channel is called It's been our hands for over a thousand years. I would say over 12 1300 years, and that's Tshu'vot, responsa literature. That's what we're going to go into today. That's what this is about. Responsa literature is not prescriptive. It's reactive. Which means you have the Torah as it was given. You have Torah Shebaal Peh, the tools that are in the hands of Hazal. Um uh until the Gemara, the derivation was from Sukkot, Mitzvot, Midreshei Halakha. Today we don't do that. Today we always go back um to the Gemara as a as a basis for everything. Um uh Responsa literature draws the connection between Halakha and Metziut. The uh uh Mashke Horah, the our lives, the line between Halakha and Metziut, between Halakha and reality is is you you have this Halakha reality, our lives reality. And and they're connected by what's called Hora'ah, Psikat Halakha, Psika, the process of connecting the two, the process of taking into consideration a changing climate. A changing um uh cultural climate, a changing um uh economic climate, a changing a changing climate. So what I want to do, I knew I wanted to speak about this, but what I want to do is take us on a journey together. And I've been I've been hooked on Shavuot since uh since since I was around 20. So, you can um that's a good uh uh 60 years. Almost 60 years since my birthday will be soon. uh uh And my hope is that by learning I will get you to see the importance the importance the excitement and the process the process of harnessing halakha in order to deal with new situations. So, the situation that we're dealing with today is a question I'm going to ask you before we start learning together. I'm going to ask you to um uh what you have [laughter] to say about this and then we'll see uh I took a very very very short teshuva of Rabbi Henkin's that cell in order to address this. But let me ask you. A couple comes and asks a question. This was um This was a question that a rabbi in the United States said, "Thank you so much." Hello, Belle. Her first student at Nishmat. Absolutely. And she looks the same. Come on. >> [laughter] >> Come on. Come on. Okay. um My husband was asked the following question by Rabbi in the United States. Um Masader Kiddushin in a I'm officiating at a wedding shortly, and um the couple has requested to write into the Ketubah the names of the mothers. Okay, my friends, you're answering right now. Tell me why yes and why no. You know, the normal the way the Ketubah is written is um uh eh ha chatan um Naftali ben Menashe um uh ve um uh amar la kallah hada betulta um uh Shapirta um Marat Rachel bat Rivka. That's the way it's written. How the chatan um Naftali, the son of Menashe, um said to the bride, Rachel, the daughter I I said Rachel bat Rivka. I'm sorry. No, no, that's what they wanted. But, the way the Ketubah goes is Rachel bat Avraham. Rachel bat Moshe. What her father's name? So, the question was asked, can they be identified, both of them, as his name is Levi, Levi ben David ve Rachel? Uh um we we called her Rivka. Rivka bat or we're going to call her now Rivka. Rivka bat uh Daniel ve Sarah. Can you do that? Okay, Shaindy. Um I think that we Nice and loud. Okay, I think that when you add the the mother's name to somebody who is um being blessed. It implies it implies a need and it could be implying also in my opinion soras that there's some some narrow straight and that's not what we want for the wedding for the ketubah and the halacha. We We may be including the mother's name either because the couple is no longer the parents are no longer married to each other. No, that's what you are saying that there's some server in the family or maybe David the father passed away many years ago and therefore we want to mention the mother. And you're saying Sarah's not at the wedding. Okay. Anyone else? Yes, there were two ladies here. So I was taught many years ago that when I doubt for my children I say Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech Yeah, that's because and also for the sick because we want to make sure that we're doubting for the right person and mother is for sure. So if we do that for that then why not do it in the ketubah? I don't see a problem with doing it because you're just you're you're being more specific. You're specifying who is Baruch. >> Okay, maybe there's no problem. Maybe there's excuse me, maybe there's a problem. I don't see the problem. That's what we've heard both. Yes. That's not in the standard ketubah. However, you are correct that through the ages in consideration of situations when there were situations where a sailor would marry and then for whatever reason not return there could have been an annulment of the marriage. >> A Spartan had different amounts of money than the giving Ashkenazim. So it's not it's not the Okay. It's a contract. Okay. We have a whole bunch of people here online. Uh I yes. I was always told that when you are in distress, when you're davening for somebody, it's always ben or bas the mother. And I know when you're getting in a getting getting a misheberach for the Torah, it's for your father. Like I I really >> In other words, what you're saying I'm going to again changes is you're saying we have a masoretic We have a way that we have done it through the ages and should we be diverging? Okay. Uh I in order and yes, please. Hi. I have not learned ketubot. I have not learned the halakha of why the ketubah is the way it is. But if I were writing the responsa, I would research why is the ketubah like this? Why is it the father's name? If there's a reason, good halakhic reason why it's only the father's name, that changes things. But if it's just this was convention and there's no reason not to include the mother's name, I would say, "Sure, why not?" >> Okay, go back and examine things. Right here. My my first thought was that the mother proves the Jewishness of the child. Mhm. And therefore should get that recognition that this child is Jewish. I I mean there's no way to prove it in the ketubah, but the fact that she is identified in the ketubah not only to wish a person a refuah sheleimah, but also to acknowledge that this is a Jewish child. However, if her father's name is Eliezer and for many years he's been called up to the Torah as Eliezer ben Moshe, so his name also counts for something when it comes to Jewishness. But but we're hearing very interesting things. I think we have the last comment here. Oh, okay. Two comments and then we move on. I wonder why when the when you're asked to refer to you're going with the mother's name. Cuz you want to be certain it's the right person. Okay, so why don't you have that same obligation under the Torah that this is the person that he was planning to marry and this is the It is possible you know, if I'm asked for a svara, what I would say it is when you're davening, you're davening to Hakadosh Baruchu. You want to be certain you're davening about the right person. The way the person is publicly known is irrelevant. It's more important to turn to Hakadosh Baruchu with the person's name. Maybe that's a factor. Last comment over here. So you started speaking about your love for the idea of learning the climate and how things can change the climate of our society. So I think that this fits very well in that idea and you know, and it could be in different climates that it would should be accepted and maybe in Fantastic. Everything that everybody said, I think we could talk for another 15-20 minutes about this with all the different shikulim. Let's go straight into the sources in English. Um we're going to have to go back to Yirmiyahu Sanhedrin and the Gemara the Mishnah and Gemara in Sanhedrin, but we're going to start by reading the teshuvah. We're reading it together. I will comment along the way and we will go and um and read the pasuk in Yirmiyahu and the Gemara upon which this teshuvah is based. Um can So, we're starting to read from writing the mother's name in the ketubah. It comes from this book, Responsa on Contemporary Jewish Women's Issues. Um it's an expanded edition that I and someone else did. Can the mother's names be included but beside the father's names in the ketubah? How the groom David ben Moshe Aryeh and and Chava Leah asked the groom um David ben Moshe Aryeh the Chava Leah asked the bride to Chila bat Reuven and Tzipora, etc. In my opinion, if the couple wishes to include the mother's names, there are no halachic grounds to prohibit it. Although the custom has been to write the father's name only. In other words, what's he saying here? We have a custom. Let's deal with it. We have a custom, a way that this has been done. Let's Let's examine that custom. There's um a minhag. Um [snorts] uh Although the custom has been to write the father's name only, and the wish to include the mother's name is probably a sign of the times. What does that mean? You know, let's We're going to We're going to fold a paper in half uh vertically. And we're going to make a list and we're going to put on one side the reasons not and on one side the reasons yes. So, in the reasons not, the first reason not that we have is what? We have a custom. We have a minhag. The second is He's saying, I know that what? I know that this is motivated by what? It's a sign of the times. In other words, this is not something that would have arisen before. There's There's a name for a social movement. What is it? Feminism. He says, I understand that this There's an influence of feminism here. He goes on to say, Nevertheless, Nevertheless means we're crossing over to the other side of the page. Writing the mother's name in the ketubah does not violate the stricture against chukot hagoyim lo telechu of in parshat acharei mot, which we'll look into in just a moment. We'll just finish reading this. It doesn't violate the stricture against following the ways of the gentiles by any standard. In other words, there is a stricture, there's an issur of "bechukoteihem lo telechu." And he's saying, just one moment, please, because uh the time I was allotted was until um I think it's until 10 um Wait, I'm looking at the clock. Yeah, and we have another 18 minutes to finish this. So, so with your permission, I'm going to move now at my pace. Um I In He says, Nevertheless, writing the mother's name is not a source, is not prohibited by Hukot Lo Telechu, the prohibition against following the ways of the Gentiles. In the next paragraph, we'll learn why. Um by any standard. In fact, this would not be the first modern addition to the Ketubah. For at some point, the family names of the bride and groom began to be written into the Ketubah. If you have a Ketubah that is handy, look at it and you'll see so and so uh um David ben uh Yishai Lemishpachat Goldstein. Uh Rina bat uh um Abraham Lemishpachat Levy. You'll see that in the Ketubah. Um and certainly this is not the and and this certainly family names are modern innovation. How do we know that? Because somewhere around uh 400, 300 years ago, they began to be written. Before that, not. So, this is a modern innovation that Hazal and Hachmei uh uh Hachamim did not know about. Rishonim did not know about this addition to the Ketubah. So, uh so we're writing down on the other side, this is not the first modern um innovation. Now, regarding uh Hukot Lo Telechu, elsewhere I have discussed at length what acts are not are and are not subsumed under Hukot Hagoyim. Go back now to the um third Hebrew source, look above. There, Yirmiyahu perek lamed daled says as follows, "Sidkiyahu, King Sidkiyahu, on the eve of Horban Bayit Rishon, on the eve of the destruction of the first temple, King Hizkiyahu was told that he is not going to be put to death. Um Okay. Uh he is not going to be put to death, and he is told, um "Ach shmat dvar Hashem Sidkiyahu melekh Yehudah ko amar Hashem alekha, lo tamut bakherev. You will not, King Sidkiyahu, die by the sword. Beshalom tamut. You will die in peace. Ukhmi srefot avotekha hamelakhim harishonim asher hayu lefanekha, ken yisrefu lakh. And your belongings will be burned in the funeral pyres of the kings before you." Now, to any of us, when I when I hear this, I say, "Bal tashchit." That's what my grandmother taught me, "Bal tashchit." But, they had a custom which was based upon respect of burning the king's belongings after he died because those kings that they were regarded as as sacred, as royal, as not for the next king to use. And therefore, um Sidkiyahu, when he is assured that his death will be peaceful, is told, "And you'll have the same funeral pyres that your fathers, the righteous kings of the house of David, had. Um now, with that, we're going to go through the the Mishnah and the Gemara, and then we're going to go back to the response here. The Mishnah, there's a machloket in the Mishnah between Tanna Kamma and Rabbi Yehudah. This is the Mishnah in Sanhedrin, um daf nun bet. Sanhedrin, um uh uh page I didn't translate that for you, so I'm going to tell you. Um at this point in Sanhedrin, there is a discussion of um listen, halakha embraces everything, Torah embraces everything, not everything is pleasant. There is the discussion of methods of execution. The Sanhedrin has four methods of execution. Um one of which is called hereg, which is called death by the sword. The Mishnah in Sanhedrin comes and has a machloket between Tanna Kamma, the first opinion, and uh Rabbi Yehudah. Tanna Kamma says uh uh execution, hereg, is always by the sword. Rabbi Yehudah comes and says, "You can't do that because that is a desecration of the dead. Um uh in other words, it is not appropriate for people to witness this. This is a dead dead a desecration um of the body as the as the body is de- the person is decapitated." And therefore, he says, "What you need to do instead is there's a a chopping block for meat called the kofets, and you need to use the meat cutter and the kofets. The in the Gemara, the Gemara comes and says, uh that's worse nevel. That's more of a um um nevel have a base desecration of the uh dead. And the answer there uh that Rabbi Yehuda is quoted as giving is, "Well, what can I do?" Bechukotai hem. I There's a a in um >> [clears throat] >> Vayikra perek tet zayin, we're told um "You shall not follow the customs of the land of Mitzrayim from which I have taken you um and Eretz Kenaan to which I am bringing you to." Uvechukotai hem lo telechu, "And do not follow their laws." So, Rabbi Yehuda is saying, "But what can I do? I know it's a nevel. There's the Nevertheless, Bechukotai hem lo telechu." The answer that Chachamim give Rabbi Yehuda is, "No, no, no. There is a biblical precedent for using the sword." Ketiva mida or vida Orayta. And because of ketiva vida Orayta, because it is written, the the term uses in the Torah that includes the Tanakh, because it's written there, um I'm going to read this. Look at the Gemara. Do you see where you have the words Gemara? Tanya amar lahem Rabbi Yehuda la Chachamim. Rabbi Yehuda said to Chachamim, "Af ani" The braita tells us that. "Af ani odea she meta nuvelet." I understand that it is a um a debasing uh death. I will my essay say they are Torah who could take him low tailing. What can I do? You have the issue of the who could take him? The rabbinical Well, what rabbinical say? What a coming say about that? because the sword is written in the Gomorrah. It Excuse me, in the Torah. Low me night who could come in and we didn't learn the sword from the Gentiles. In other words, they practice it. But we have what is called a what? biblical Not necessarily first. We have a biblical precedent that we rely upon and we're not relying upon the fact that this is what they do. Low me night who could come in and and the biblical precedent here that is quoted is that possible in Jeremiah. Because of the possible in Jeremiah, we learned it from the possible in Jeremiah, not from them. Low me night who could come in and we're not learning it from the Gentiles. It's their custom. We're not saying that the genesis of this custom was ours. We're just saying we learn it from safer Jeremiah and therefore we are permitted to follow it. Therefore, the penalty is safe is the sword and not the butcher knife. Okay, >> [snorts] >> let's go back. Elsewhere, the second paragraph. Elsewhere, I've discussed at length what acts are and are not subsumed under Hukot Hagoyim. Now here, this is why I'm here today to tell you this. I want you to get into the head of a posek. I want you to understand how halakhic decisions are rendered. It's not, "Oh yes, I think that's a good idea." One needs to um Avodah Zarah grapple with the other opinion. One needs to find a basis for the change that you wish to make. Then go ahead and evaluate, is it a wise change or not a wise change? But But before we learn whether it's permissible or not, we need to examine whether there's a basis. He says, "Elsewhere I have discussed at length what acts are and are not subsumed under Hukot Hagoyim, ways of the gentiles." There's a minority opinion of the Vilna Gaon that so long as we ourselves would not have created such practices, we wouldn't have thought this up, we're not permitted to follow the customs of gentiles even when they're not meaningless or licentious. What Why is a meaningless custom suspect? Yeah, who said that? Yes. >> What did they say? Avodah Zarah. That if there if it's not something logical, if we can't understand the cultural peg, we don't understand the cultural peg that it's based upon, maybe there are traces of paganism in this. Uh licentious, listen, if it's a custom and it is licentious, treat so we don't do it. Um And in fact, uh the Vilna Gaon says, "You don't follow the ways of the gentiles even when they're not licentious, when they're not meaningless, even when they're beneficial. But in my opinion, we do not rule this way, the way of the Vilna Gaon. And um but rather in accordance with the majority opinion of Hachamim, with the accordance of opinions of Ran, Rav Yosef Colon, Maharil. Um those are the Rishonim who have expressed themselves on this. The Rama, who is the authority in psika um for Ashkenazi Jewry. Um and the majority of poskim are not following the Vilna Gaon, who hold that as long as behavior is neither licentious nor meaningless, it's not prohibited. If it's licentious or meaningless, it's prohibited. Ra'ah in Avodah Zarah formulated the halacha thus: Rational practices of the Gentiles are not prohibited. And then he goes on to say um were we to follow the Vilna Gaon's opinion, we would need to discard all fashionable clothing, etc. However, Rav Moshe Feinstein wrote that even according to the Vilna Gaon, the Gra, practices established by the Gentiles not for themselves alone, but for everyone uh speed limits. Um Gentiles and Jews alike are not prohibited. What's only prohibited in Rav Moshe Feinstein's opinion according to the Gra, whom he doesn't follow, but even according to the Gra, he says it's it it's needs to be um it needs to be um something that the Gentiles did not restrict to Gentiles alone. Um Okay. Um um skip it in the next paragraph. Various contemporary customs and practices were justified by the sages in Sanhedrin as on the basis of a biblical precedent. We went through that just now. Tiva the O be Orita. Um Okay. Um the last sentence in that paragraph regarding practices recorded in Tanakh, we can say love me na who kade amena. Although they're practiced by gentiles, we do not observe them because of the gentiles, but because they're mentioned in Tanakh. Okay. Now he's going to bring this to our situation. In fact, in cases of Tiva the Orita, even Rabbi the villain of Gaon, Rabbi of the allowed the adoption of a gentile practice. Practice. Likewise regarding Tiva the O be Orita, even if the biblical precedent was in a different context, it could be applied more generally without fear of chukot hagoyim. And in our case, although the writing of the mother's name occurs in Tanakh, do you know where it occurs? The writing of the mother's name occurs in Tanakh? Let's see here who's the Tanakh scholar. Okay, that's in the Torah. Um where else? Havat Bat Asher is a better example. Um yes. Yes. Go through Melachim and Divrei Hayamim and you'll see over and over and over the shem imo. His mother's name is. Um so he says, I now have Tiva the Orita. In other words, I now have it's not chukot hagoyim. And there is a biblical precedent of writing the mother's name. Forgive me that I'm going to continue because they put the the clock in front of me for good reason. >> [laughter] >> Okay. For this reason, I don't see reason to prohibit writing the mother's name in the ketubah. My reasoning is, one, inclusion of a mother's name is not irrational. Coming as it does to give honor to both parents. It is relevant to a marriage document as the mother has had an equal, if not greater, part in raising the child from infancy to adulthood. If if someone deals in shidduchin, it's probably the mother who was worrying about the shidduch. Um in contrast, as regards being called up to the Torah, this is very important, by the father's name, we would not add the mother's name since the father alone was commanded to teach his son Torah. Now, what's he doing in this fact uh here? This is is so important. I'm going to answer I apologize because of the clock. What he's doing here is he's saying, "I'm going to examine the question. I understand that the motivation, the winds of the times, it certainly is here." >> [snorts] >> Um and and it wasn't done. On the other hand, is it prohibited? No. There we have it's not hukot hagoyim, which is the only way you might prohibit it. It's not the first modern innovation in the ketubah. We have family names. And on top of that, we have a tradition, ktiva d'Oraita, which lets us do it. And then he says, "But what? I want to take responsibility. I want to be responsible. We all should be of keeping this in the right track. In other words, we have to be very, very careful when we're innovating that we're staying in we're we're staying in the course of being Orthodox Jews because very easily you can fall out of there. So, he says calling being called up to the Torah when a man is called up, you know, if we add the mother's name in the ketubah, he says I don't see a reason to prohibit it. He's not saying do it, but he's saying is it prohibited? No. I he he's saying I mean and anyone who has read my husband's true vote on knows this. He's absolutely straight. He also doesn't quit the battlefield in mid-battle. Absolutely straight. That's the Henkin family tradition that goes back to the Gaon. I was asked and I'm going to answer. And he says here on the other hand, I don't want to see this becoming a precedent by an incorrect precedent. So, I'm going to write down immediately in the same place, but don't do this when a man is called up to the Torah. Next. The number two. The mother's name the shem imo typically identifies the king in the books of Melachim and Divrei Hayamim. Many of them were not righteous. Many of them were righteous. Thus, it does not fall into the category of chukot hagoyim, but ktiv oraita. And then he He on to say in fact, my saintly grandfather, the Gaon, identified himself thus on the title pages of his faring." He wrote his father's name, "The shame emo." And there's a very good reason that he wrote "The shame emo." And that there's The clock will not let me tell you, otherwise I would tell you a marvelous story. Um Okay, tell us. Tell us. I'm going to condense the story into one line. His mother realized uh and then this is our family's grandfather, so from a shifka, his mother realized that How could she not? That she had a Gaon, the family uh had no means. The family was dirt poor um um in Russia. And she sold her feather bed. She either sold or pawned, we don't know. Her This is the the story that has come down in our family. And this is what um our grandfather, my husband's grandfather, uh related. He he he he uh she there was nowhere for him to learn near them. They I mean the distance they they A Gaon is a Gaon. And um uh by age three, the sounds of Pak Reform, but I know this as a fact, by age three, he knew most of Tanakh by heart. Um uh >> [clears throat] >> He um uh she wanted him to go to Mir Yeshiva. They um So she pawned the Russian winter, [clears throat] you know, it's a little chilly there. The The bride got a her dowry of the the the feather bed quilt and she to pay a wagon driver to take him. The rest of the story is he was all of 15 years old when he got there. They laughed at him and wouldn't bring him to the Rosh Yeshiva and they said you're a child, what are you doing here? So he walked to the next town, Karlitz, and there this 15-year-old slept in the shul on a bench, ate with families, and in that year he learned through Maseches Eruvin in the Gemara 40 times. Shabbos isn't easier Maseches. Shabbos and Eruvin 40 times and he went through the rest of Seder Moed in the Gemara in the 15-year-old. Uh No, this was my husband's grandfather. The The Gaon. My husband learned with him. My husband is not a product of the Yeshiva, he's a product of his grandfather. Rabbi Yosef Eliyahu Henkin. Um if you came from the United States in his generation, he eventually got out of Russia and into the United States. Uh Not now. Not now. Not now. Okay, we're going back. His He's Yes, I know I need to stop right now, right now. The addition of the mother's name, number three, doesn't involve ketubah, doesn't involve licentiousness, which would be grounds to prohibit. As far as the change of minhag is concerned, should we also object to writing the family name in the ketubah or for that matter including mother's name on the gravestone, another recent innovation. Personally, I do not see much danger in accommodating these wishes, nor do I see what's to be gained from prohibiting them. Including the mother's name in the ketubah is not a subject of contention, nor will it become so unless we make it into one. One has to be careful in choosing right issues with which to draw the line. I hope, my friends, I brought you into sifrei ketubot, and I've wetted your appetite to learn. And if you want in English, this is now on sale outside. These are ketubot. Uh The Eidah Ziv blog, the rest is up to us. Kol tuv.