Why is 'Transforming Touch' (TEB) the newest hype Rabbi Shloime Ehrlich and Eliyahu Treitel

Okay, Tidas. Today I have a privilege and honor to to bring in a very very dear friend of mine. We did we were neighbors neighbors. So we don't deny shield. Yeah. My wife more than I. Yeah. >> His wife more than him. Healing marriage. Baltimore. So this this is a unbelievable song. Unbelievable song. So creative Z smart unbelievable energy. >> Wow. Thank you energy. And what happened was a few weeks ago I was looking for healing from my friend office and I said you know what let me see what you do. I was so impressed and I decided types of healing is understanding knowledge psychology marriage healing besides him being a very very humble person um mentioned truck drivers This is where it is. This is what it is. Andel is a healer and that's why I chose you. There's hundreds of people out there, thousands of people that are helping and doing. I always feel that introduce you guys going to get to see. >> Wow. I'm humbled. Now serious if Ellie Tratel walks into a room everybody feels light. It's a certain calmness. So Ellie, >> thank you. [laughter] >> No further ado. >> I'm humbled. I'm humbled. I I have no I have no words. I have nothing to add and I'm humbled by how you uh how you see me. Thank you. >> That that's how I see you and and and I think that that's you know. Okay. So let's get jump into it right away. >> Please. >> You were trained in many different things. You're doing a lot of things. What is it that you're doing the most lately? What is what is it that you're doing and why do you feel it is the right thing for you to do now? >> Wow. Okay. Good question. So, basically what I I I've I've trained like you said, I've trained in many things and I the more I train at one point I was just training and training. I was trying to like in my mind like the more I know and the more modalities I know, the more I learn, the more I'll be able to help people. >> And the more I get into it, the more I realize that it's not learning more. It's not learning other modalities. It's it's learning how to stay out of it. Learning how to just become that support system and allow a person to be so themselves while sitting with me that they they learn a new side to themselves. They learn a side themselves that again some are going to argue that they're they learn without any blockages. They learn to be in that place of with no judgment. So they learned such a part of themselves that automatically that that brings healing. >> Wow. >> So >> people are scared to be with themselves sometimes, right? Why is that? >> Yeah. Yeah. It's because we were hurt being ourselves to be themselves and then they come to you and one of the things is they feel they're able to be what? >> Yeah. They're able to be themselves with void of judgment. Zero judgment. They're able to be themselves without, you know, many times people come into therapies like, "Can you heal me? Can you fix me? I'm broken." Like the messages that they're coming with, "I'm broken. Fix me. Fix the brokenness." >> That's not what it is. That's not what it is. I I don't fix anybody. I don't heal anybody. I just support them. I I I step out of it. I be that safe person for them so that they can be themselves. And through that comes healing. >> Wow. >> Yeah. H I feel you know calm being around you. There is something there. I I I I I [clears throat and snorts] believe that someone doesn't judge. If you don't judge, as you said before, the other person is able to be themselves. We're being so judged in our communities. Every community, every culture has their own little nuances. >> Yeah. >> But we know our communities. It's not not to say that our community is worse than others. We're better than all the other. Just to bring out this point. >> Yeah. that if you want to bring someone back to Yiddish someone asked him like what do I do my child is he said just love him and he said what just love him even more don't judge and that's how they're going to connect to you that's going to start being themselves and they're going to self-reflect and see where am I up to in life and that's going to help them heal so judging is the opposite of healing >> wow >> yeah and it's it's it's a little deeper it's one one step deeper. And this is part of what I'm still working to do. Like just just so people realize, >> when you're coming for somebody to help, you're not coming to a perfect person, somebody that figured it all out yet. >> Like I'm I'm far from far from having figured everything out or even enough out to even to be to even where I want to be. But coming to a person that's sort of learning to accept himself, >> learning to take away that judgment from himself will allow the person that's coming to also not feel that judgment. >> So you're saying you're you're bringing up judgment. I just want you to >> I got it. >> Yeah. >> So not only I feel unjudged, I don't feel judged at all. >> I feel embraced. I feel I stop judging myself. And that's where the healing comes from. >> Exactly. And the more I learn to be okay with who I am, the more I'm I I learn to be okay with just being myself exactly the way I am, the more the the more the the the client or whoever is coming to me can heal. There many times when Bkham come to me and they and I see that they're just they're not able to open up. They're not able to get they're looking around. They're feeling very very uneasy, unsafe. >> The first thing I always tell my clients the first time they come and I say look around the room, you know, like I point I want them to become okay and comfortable with their with their surroundings. And then the next thing I start doing is I start acting very like extremely comfortable. I put my foot over my armrest. I make I open up a thing. I I take a drink. >> I want them to start feeling like like look, I'm not I'm not this like rigid guy professor like type of therapist like like we're friends. We're good. Like I'm comfortable. The more comfortable I become being myself, the more comfortable they are to open up. So that's >> beautiful. And and I feel even deeper that the fact that you're saying that you're not completely there. is still working and that they feel that also >> for sure >> and when you feel that your healer is still healing you know I think that in itself is like let's be real it's like when we grew up when I grew up with little kids parents were were perfect and because they felt that this is the way we're going to respect them more respect as but I tell my kids when I make a mistake and I apologize and I own up first of all >> you know because and and second it's helping them deal with their stuff. They're going to know, oh, you're allowed to own up. You're allowed to say I'm sorry. You're allowed to, you know, this this this is the goal. This is the idea. So, he's saying healing me. So, one time trauma long-term trauma like a complex trauma. The way I call it taught me it's called complex traumas and and she told me that she was the shortest family like I'm never going to make it like so this is you So, so that's complex trauma. I can feel like you know I'm nothing. I'm never going to make it anyway and I feel [sighs] what do you do >> to someone that has complex trauma? >> Yeah. Yeah. So, so it's these two words to it is complex trauma and I I know it as developmental trauma. >> Developmental trauma. >> Developmental trauma which is the same it's the same thing. It's it's little T's. It's it's a a small and and steady trauma. Right. >> So, so the the and the hardship with complex trauma is that when we have a trauma, when somebody gets into a car accident, >> they have that actual image in their mind, a feeling in their mind, they have a a story in their mind that happened, >> right? And that is the trauma. That's what we're working to get to, >> right? >> And we're working to get to before that trauma was. So, the idea of of of the way we deal with trauma, and I call it a bad word. I always tell my clients like, I'm going to say a bad word and and I say trauma. And the reason why I say it's a bad word because we throw it around very flippantly. It's like, yeah, but but trauma, regular trauma, a car accident is >> we know what life was normal beforehand, >> right? The trauma shook the reality, the safety that we knew life to be in, >> right? >> And it's sort of and it's sort of from there on we just kept on looking over our shoulders. We don't want to drive a car. Whatever the the the accommodations that we give ourselves after that trauma to to keep us safe, >> but we know what it used to be like. We know what life was beforehand. Complex trauma. And the reason why it's so complex is because you have nothing to pinpoint. You don't know what life >> exactly. You don't even know. You don't have a a point of reference to move back to >> Exactly. >> Right. You know, >> and then life is given. So when they get out of their abuse, they know what life was. But I was going to abuse by Muslims I abused other whatever it was. Then they don't have a point of reference. Is that what you're saying? >> Yeah. They don't have a point of reference. They don't have they don't have a point of what normal looks like. So it's very complex. It's very hard. You want to teach them ice cream. I know it tastes safety regulation >> right I was thinking that you know I was trained you know lifeline by Dr. Fox from California rabbi Dr. So he trained us in for many years I'm doing this and we go down to the crisis intervention project lifeline accident the a suicide in the family and we have to know let know the parents at the child or the child of the parent. So, Hashem gave me one of these jobs and >> it's still like you said, people had normal life before and we were trained how to how to let you know how to give it to them in a way that should be able to trauma forever. The way it's given over the first few minutes makes the whole difference. But complex trauma seems like it's not a trauma at all. scared. We are not scared. And then decisions, you know, impulsive fight and and people for say that was done every single day to you or very often and then it becomes part of you and you don't have a point of reference to look back and say this was normal this is not normal >> right yeah >> wow >> so it's hard yeah it's not it's harder but not only is it harder it's also harder because people minimize it it's like >> what I went through you know what that guy went through that guy whatever you know it's like it's like it's minimized like okay I had a normal as complex trauma de developmental trauma we call it is much worse than than a sudden >> it's harder it's harder so worse worse is hard to say but it's it's much it's harder to it's hard >> to recognize we have that problem >> yes >> that that it's that it's blocking me >> and to and and it's harder to fix meaning the deter I'm going to ask you something that's a little controversial that's controversial controversial means in my my definition but it's just uncomfortable Just because lack of words. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> How about religious trauma? >> Religious trauma. within the audience. Why? Why did that happen? And how can we help them fix it? Wrong image of the wrong image of of the wrong image of the basics. It's probably going to come out after you, [snorts] but just to say that direct indirect. So, uh I I adapted So I would say a huge chunk of so yeah both not here anymore. >> Yeah. And yeah, I had to see him every Sunday. >> So he gave you a very beautiful. So I was 15 years old. I was I was a young kid. To be honest, I regret not having known what we had over there. >> You don't know the wealth the the worth of water till the well is dry. >> I just if I have to choose anything from and it might not be exactly what you're looking, but >> it was his humbleness. >> It was it wasn't normal. Him and his son. I was a ninth grader. I was coming from I had no idea it was good like so I I came and I saw them. I waved. They always waved back. I hopped on me afterwards like hello the little there was wave stuff you know like and I see everybody. It took me time to realize that you nod with your head but in the beginning I used to wave like I see them like hello like they always made to notice me. I felt I felt very yeah I felt very >> felt seen. I felt seen the the humbleness the humbleness will if there's anything that I'm going to take with the rest of my life is the simpleness and humbleness from from these these trauma leader the so-called leader was the leader is yeah >> unfortunately control because because you know It never went his head. Beautiful. >> So beautiful. >> So this is probably what you're doing in your in your therapy which we'll get back there. But that's what you felt by that. So So let's go back to this >> the religious you >> the religious trauma. >> So so rel religious trauma is obviously a complex trauma, right? It's a it's a it's a developmental trauma. It's not one story. For some people unfortunately it's both because there are stories also that so un unfortunately but >> [laughter] >> massive. He was he felt like he won the lottery. Was very good. [clears throat] Foreign speech. Foreign speech. Obviously obviously it's just an example from the window. Obviously this is just [snorts] this came to my mind recently. [clears throat] >> Yeah. >> Has nothing. This story has nothing to do with this is a trauma. The trauma was >> and he told me it was over. Of course that was over for him. He never learned again. Of course. So real trauma. Yeah. Family. Hello. [laughter] Followers from the listeners. So, what could you as a miller tell people that come to you religious trauma to really mean it and see it after all that trauma? Do you mention anything of that while you're healing the trauma or that comes later? first to heal them. >> I know I'm asking a few questions, but I want I want you to take the mic. How do you see this whole thing? >> It's very good. F firstly, firstly, we don't heal anybody. Um, we we support them where they are. Secondly, secondly, none of these religious trauma. So, people say religious trauma, religious OCD, religious. Okay. So, I end up dealing with a lot of OCD because OCD like through religion is probably the the primary way of OCD, right? Very obsessive. Yeah, sure. Sure. You know, very valuable. [clears throat] So certain situations we had. So he mentioned in the middle we talk about that he was doubting. He told me he recorded it like Yeah. I love it. >> But anyway, so so in in religious trauma is do OCD. Sure. Sure. OCD OCD anxiety a lot of these things. Okay. So so what what what is what is what is the idea of how do these things happen? Right. The way I see it again and this is all just the way I see it obviously if I might be wrong there's a there's a lot of fear that came the last few generations extreme extreme fears and when we're fearing something we're afraid of some what we try to do is try to control so that we don't go back to we're to whatever it is that hurt us whatever it is that we're afraid of >> and the easiest and simplest way for us to control is unfortunately through religion >> [laughter] >> So we're we're using when you use religion as a means to control this that's where all these issues are going to be coming out >> because you're not it's not the religion. Let's just use it. Right. So, right. Right. Exactly. Exactly. So, so what does fear do? Okay. Nobody's going to step out of the line. And we go and unfortunately we do add things and we do keep in order to keep people in check, keep people in line. So exact whatever it is you know you know again religion is the religion is nor the means of controlling fear >> right. So their religion being the means of controlling to be to to stay in check to stay where they are. >> Automatically religion is going to come across >> as a way of fear as a way of that's going to make you anxious as a way of if I don't do it perfectly right somebody's going to come down and and and hurt me and that that causes all these anxieties OCDs and everything. So I don't think when when they that's been a religious trauma or the religious OCD or the religious none of these things had anything to do with religion they had nothing to do with the mugandid it had to do with a traumatized parent >> not getting the help that he needed continuing that pattern of traumatizing his his children. So that's the way I see it and when we talk about transforming touch we talk about regulating the nervous system that that is exactly what the magic is that okay so so the next is what exactly is the method that you're using what is the name of it >> of this the last the the the the main therapy that you're doing now these days I'm not talking about everything else you learn >> and and also I want to know which ages you you work with and okay continue so what's highest >> okay good Could you put a divider and could you put a divider in like like the religion thing it'll answer a lot answer a lot of what you you want to understand because religion really >> sure >> yeah okay so the the okay so the modality that I do was were created by Dr. Steven Terrell >> from Austin, Texas. Come Austin in Texas. Okay. And um as an incredible way um a gentle soul, he created something called transforming touching transforming touch >> because used to be transforming the experience-based brain. They changed it. They're transforming touch. Um and the idea the concept of transforming touch is regulating the nervous system. >> Who says regulating the nervous system? >> The nervous system. So again just the nervous system is basically the brain and do a bunch of nerve endings. Basically all of the organs within the body >> physical nerve. >> Yeah. Yeah. Basically the control board the control board of your body field is is that part the field the so the nervous system is apart from the nervous system when when the the trauma Trauma mind nish feel unsafe unsafety the feeling of unsafety is trauma trauma is unsafe for whatever reason I don't feel safe right somebody gets into a car accident [gasps] right these are unsafety and he continuously replays that unsafety and he he he builds accommodations for that and yeah and that's why complex trauma is a constant feeling of unsafety >> like you continuously you live your life consistent when when like when I get the mood Right? It's it's it's a constant state of unsafety. >> And what it does to your nervous system is it disregulates it. >> And the reason why is I'll tell you there's something called Hashem made an incredible incredible response that our body that our body goes into whenever we feel unsafe, >> whenever we have this trauma happening and it's called the fight orflight response >> and the concept, it's a genius. when this is like in a genius genius way of like we do supernatural superhuman things in order to keep us safe right there's no way you could do about it the guy and you're done right Hashem made you go into this fight or flight you can actually fight or run away and you can succeed I'm not saying I'm not putting you up against the line now but I'm I'm talking about in general >> right >> so how does that work there's a a part of the brain the lyic system the big it it checks out a whole time am Am I safe? Am I safe? Am I safe? Yeah, that's basically I'm I'm saying it conceptually scientifically. Am I safe? >> And the second it picks up unsafety, >> it sends a message to the adrenal glands because the adrenal glands on top of the need on top of the kidneys right over here behind where the rib cages ends over in the back right there. It's adrenal gland. The gland message adrenal gland. Uh-oh. Danger. Danger. What's this? It dumps something called epinephrine and cortisol into the blood. It's why it's sorry hormones. Epinephrine is the quick and easy the the twigs in the fire. And the cortisol is the logs. I'm telling you, what's it called? What's it's the second to do cortisol in the blit the ga body react cortisol. the organ when the when cortisol is in the blit the heart starts pumping quickly right to circulate the blood better the lungs open expand wider and also quicker >> you find yourself needing to take deep breaths right the moto million miles I mean whatever I'm exaggerating but very fast >> the the hands and the feet get a lot of blood flow and it starts tensing up, right? >> And these are all the things the pupils dilate. These are all the things that happen and the digestive system slows down also because backaches I guess the same idea just body >> everybody Yeah. Every everybody's body is different. Everybody reacts differently and I don't know exactly but but the idea I'll tell you in a second. And these are the things that happen. And this automatically puts us into what we call fight or flight. And it's meant for then to get out of there or to be able to fight to be able to survive that that trauma that that experience. >> The problem in and when I say all these the reason why feelings because people all of a sudden thinking, wait, I'm in it. >> I live my life. My heart is pumping. [gasps] I can't say take deep breaths. my hands and feet that always clench the clothes like all these why do I feel all these things like why why do I feel this >> and that's and that and the reason is is because there's something called developmental trauma complex trauma >> and what complex trauma is is like we said before it's a lowgrade fight or flight so mention never getting the message >> how does it look like for the audience at a low level fulltime complex trauma. It is uncomfortable fight constantly uncomfortable nervous system. The amygdala is normal. The amigdala is the part in the brain was was needs the five senses. The check is second complex trauma 27 times per second. You know, victims of bullying, vict There's a molester con you always business trauma victims to is like on high alert. >> So, so continue. So, how do you heal that? And the amigdala turns on system. Yeah. And it puts your ner puts your nervous system in a constant state of fight or flight. Almost fightive, right? >> So, we need to get over that. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So, how do we do that? >> Some people and some people just check out please. They disassociate what whatever the the accommodation that you're using the idea of it is I'm not safe in my body audience fights [clears throat] psychology but you know so the animal brain the part of the brain other other guy facing the problem. The problem was a fight. You're running away. Yeah. flight in a fight is frozen but go ahead. >> Right. Right. None of these things extreme. He's disassociating. He's in freeze. He's so again. So, okay. So, so first I get the question. So, so how do you how do you get out of that? How do you how do you like fix right fix is the wrong word fix. >> How do you help them heal themselves? >> Yeah. How do you so the emphasis how do you make them feel safe? How do you get the message this nervous system to a place of regulation? How do you make them feel safe again? Like exactly. >> Exactly. So, so it's in a in a a safe room, right? But so, for some reason, if I'm in fight or flight, I I know I'm safe. My head knows I'm safe. Why Why don't I feel safe? Why don't I feel >> rest and digest? Why don't I feel relaxed? >> Just relax. >> Yeah. And the answer is because your nervous system, your mind knows, okay, fine. You say, but your nervous system never got the message. Relax. I never got the message. So how do you give it that message? >> How do you give the message? >> You teach the body safety. >> You teach the body safety. You teach the person safety. You help them start tasting what safety feels like. The blind meno they you start showing them like this is what safety could feel like. And you can't do it alone. If a person was hurt by another person, they can't teach themselves safety themselves. They needed to be through somebody that could prove to them >> and that is how you teach them slowly integrating. >> So the self transformational touch >> transforming touch. Yeah. So practitioner [snorts] system was getting this space and as a as a role model consciously subconsciously as more or less regulated system that's that's what I feel that's why I sent people to you I I I think that again But >> you're a very regulated person. >> I say I I know you long enough. >> Thank you. >> And and that's [snorts] why I feel guy therapist on ABC's. >> I want I want to know how does his life look like? >> Yeah, you know, no. [laughter] >> Yeah, they try. I can tell you they do. So, so I know you and all the people that are being interviewed on this podcast is only the mench, you know, so I don't know this. It's the person that's sitting in front of you, you know. University class 8week class pictures from the long statistics mention Of course, stop smoking. mention. So my question that I always have to myself is adults is smoking and teacher was get the class. You know, twothirds of therapist And it's so true. I know the knowledge experience, you know, teaches. And I believe this is that a person that goes to transformational touch I didn't end up going more. I'm going to come. I felt [clears throat] like a different person. 45 minutes office, beautiful office. And I stood up from there and I said, I am getting on my podcast. >> Mhm. >> Because it's you that's healing. Of course I want you know but it's it's the healer. So if the healer is a regulated person you can only heal as far as you've come. Maybe even most of the time. Some of the time for sure. maybe even most of the time. It's against this transforming touch. I just want to I just want to like sort of mention that are not they're not they're not regulated. They're not regulated the way they want to be. They want to be they're working towards it. And I think that's the most important and that's why I'm saying >> they're not regulated the way they want to be. They're not holding where they want to be holding yet. They still want they want to get to they they they have a long way to go. They they've they're in a lot of pain. They have a long way to go, but they're such safe and good practitioners. >> They're so safe. They can take a person could could be could be when they not could be when they're going to be more regulated, they'll do even do even a better job. There's no question about it. I agree. >> But just because you hear of a transforming touch practitioner and you don't feel like they're as regulated as you want them to be, they might they might still be very practitioner. So I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because for the same reason >> I'm okay with that. >> The same reason transforming the most most of what I'm training myself now to do is how to not fix how to not how to sort of stay stay outside of it and be able to help you where you are. Like the same reason that's the same reason transforming touch could help so much because it's not the practitioner is not fixing. practitioners just has to be safe. >> But but but it's vibes. >> Okay. I'm not I'm not arguing with everything you're saying. I'm not saying it's wrong. It's a grain of as that practition to regulate and as a person I'm okay with that. Yeah. Yeah. So they said I'm just saying over you know it just doesn't work. It's like that teacher from from the smoking. >> Yeah. They I'm just saying it because people might know a thing and they're going to pass and whatever don't don't be so quick to judge it. They are very good people good practitioners that are safe people. >> And so the so how do you how do you teach the body safety? How do you train the body safety? >> So the answer is first of all being a safe person. That's the first answer. Being a safe person when they come into me. Me not trying to fix them. Me letting them know that they're perfect exactly the way they are and I can support them where they are. Me letting them know before I touch them, telling them exactly what I'm going to do, >> exactly what it does and before asking permission before I touch them. So the difference between the touch that I do in um in in in session and the touch that these people are afraid of >> is that it's safe touch. >> It's safe touch. The touch they've gotten that they're afraid of was touch that hurt them was touch that that that that felt painful felt violating >> even if it wasn't touch that hurt them. >> People some people then then they're probably not as sensitive to touch and they're okay. But there's there's a there's a there's a there's something that they're associating touch with that they're afraid of, that they're uncomfortable with. >> And the touch that we do is is safe. It's regulating. And it's not invasive. It's not violating like the touch was there, which is why it could be so healing for people that are afraid of touch. And I I don't want to say stories on anything, but I can tell you stories like >> Yeah. Real really really people really go to healing places with with um with transforming touch. >> Amazing. >> Yeah. And I so so how does it work taka? So after asking permission I I support the nervous system in the same way that it went into that fight and flight the same way that it went into that scary place of like oh no I need to protect myself because I'm not safe >> that's that's through that method Dr. Steven Terrell taught us to support the nervous system letting you know that it's safe >> bringing us out of fight or flight >> and go into regulation. How long is a is know it's like typical question people always ask >> how do you answer that you know obviously you know but the question I'm still going to ask like what what what is what how does the process look like well you know I started seeing people 18 19 years ago psychoanalysis psychist therapist mortgage. >> Yeah. traumatized and so again mentioned although he's he's a therapist he's a therapist and and that really meaning so so that They just come there and they just live in that space. You touch them obviously in safe >> support them and they start healing themselves. Their their body starts feeling safe and then it doesn't matter anymore of the trauma. >> Yeah. >> That's the beautiful part from this. >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> So yeah. So people do ask I get I get asked that question. I I don't know if every single person askked me that question, but definitely most people ask me that question. So So how long does it take? What's the process? What am I going to see? What am I going to feel? >> And I I often say I often tell them that and and some of them even ask some of them come and they feel like or or they hear from somebody else how amazing like so they ask me can can I want I need emergency two times a week and they want to set themselves up. I I slow them down and I say that keep in mind you're not going to heal the anxiety and the stress and and this this these symptoms this this not regulated state >> by by the same the same way that you got yourself into it. You got yourself into this stress and anxiety anxious place by rushing rushing rushing everything needing to think 10 steps ahead to keep yourself safe. So you're going to get there by slowing down by slowing down. So no I'm not going to see you two times a week. Let's let's see let's come come in for thing. Let's see we'll see you once a week maybe. Like that's that's the first thing is to slow people down like letting them know how it goes. >> The second thing is talk therapy and all these other other modalities that that go deeper and deeper and deeper or or could take you further and further like these these are wonderful and beautiful things and I I'm going to tell you because you said it already. Most of my clients come through therapists. It's word of mouth and therapists. Most of them come through therapists. Why? Because these are people that are doing the work and they're trying and they're trying and for some reason this this for some reason allows them to slow down, feel safe enough to go to places they weren't able to go to without this. >> It lets them It lets them slow down and and just things that they were blocking because they needed to keep themselves safe, so they blocked it. >> They allow these things to come out. Exactly. Allow it to come out and slowly at your body's pace. Nobody's forcing anything. We're not rushing. We're not rushing the process. We're not pushing the process. It's a very slow slow and gentle modality. So people ask me how long how often I I I I often tell them all this that I'm telling you now and I tell them so I in the beginning before I realized that I can't give a number to it. I used to tell them what my my teacher Dr. Steven Terrell told said 8 to 12 times um you know like the people start seeing a life-changing something change around them. And after doing this for however [laughter] long I'm doing this it's it it's not like that. It's not like that. People people often don't see the change. They see it from the people around them. They themselves don't. Sometimes they don't even feel a change, but all of a sudden the wife is just happier with them. The kids are are calmer. All of the sudden the bosses had all of a sudden they could they could tolerate the more. >> That's real work. That's the real stuff. That's you know, you know, like >> yeah, many people come to me because they say I don't I don't see much, but my wife tells me that I'm calmer. I don't like I'm like okay. Like I hear this every day like this is it and and many times many times people come two three times and and they themselves they they go walk out feeling just like like wow they could handle things that they weren't able to handle. So it's it's there's no answer. >> There's no answer because everybody >> agency working with >> So my youngest is like I had a had I worked with a four-year-old a seven-year-old. >> Yeah. Most of my clients, >> exactly. Most of my clients are bim and I have ying though. So yalat end up coming in with saying that it's business issues, but it ends up being like relationship stuff. Bim, you know what I mean? Bkarim come in like also I wouldn't know. >> Yeah. Bim come in with the anxious. I only see male. I don't see females. Yeah. >> Wow. So it's it's it's like a it's a revolutionary and and and of course vegan was was uncomfortable >> uh for some people um how to do so you know different types of uh forms of of psychedelics >> the mushrooms or the MDMA and the alam So some people tell me, you know, and you know, some people I've seen I don't claim to be at all. I've seen people that came and told me, "Wow, I'm excited to hear it." It's whatever healing and and and so I heal through a lot. I think is one of the main modalities fix whatever the other. So [sighs] why are people not trying to just regulate their emotional system? Why they're running there? They don't know about it. You don't have to answer me. >> I could answer or >> I could answer I could answer you based off of the way I see it. Obviously, I might people might hear it and disagree, and I I respect that completely, and I'm not I don't I'm not even a million% confident with what I'm saying to think that this is the be all and end all answer, >> but I feel like people look for the quick fix. People look for an easy easy solution. So, I'll explain. Somebody that's looking to actually do the work is going to be taking these substances differently than somebody that's looking for a quick fix. >> People, you can you can disassociate through any form of healing. Also, you can totally disregard the healing part of healing. Also, you can actually do all go through all the steps, do all this all everything that you're doing. >> You didn't integrate it into your into your day-to-day life. You just went for a trip for for for a for a give you awarenesses, but then again then again listening to podcast give you awarenesses. Again, this is going to give you more personal awar. It's amazing. It could be it's like taking a Tylenol. It's like it's like it's like taking surgery. A person that needs it needs it. A person that doesn't need it. What do you And these people that go for Iawasa and the really heavy heavy medicines the first time >> unless their unless their life is off the charts like not they're not they're not reg like they're not having good life. Unfortunately a lot of people if if they're not if their life is like somewhat in balance they definitely shouldn't be going for the kill first. They should try try a little you know try slowly. I'm not pro, I'm not against I'm I'm I'm against using it as a means of discon of disassociating and disconnecting and not healing. And if it's if it's done correctly with a therapist, somebody supporting you through the process and somebody helping you with integrating it into your life >> and doing it right with with with the right people, support system, >> it could be very helpful. >> Oh, could be. You've seen >> I've se I've seen a lot I've seen a lot of both sides. I've seen I've seen it wreck I've seen I've seen really wreck havoc. I've seen really destroy people's lives. >> Unfortunately, two very very close >> people that I know >> destroy their lives. >> Yes. They went straight to Iawaska. It destroyed their lives. >> So, no no everything around them also destroyed. It's very obvious to everybody that their life change. Nobody knows that what what was the >> the reason. >> So, again, like I said, I'm not pro I'm not against I'm against using it the wrong way. Okay. Situations but it's a guy made in touch. It's a guy made it's psychosmatic in a certain sense like right psycho is the brain and somatic is the body. So psychosmatic is is hot it's hot of the press. MDR and I'm going to interview someone scheduled already someone that's going to come talk about EMDR and mention EMDR is eye movement, right? It's you move the eye and once they get it out and then they get it out. That's that's this is that's the [sighs] Wow, you know mentioned the genes. Yeah, trauma certain behavior. He would probably be worse. So how could you know the bit of healing with physical healing% and is not going to come to sick No, no, [laughter] no. >> It's you know, but but space got you know Yeah, sure. [singing] I always tried circle therapy. personal problems, all the issues. Wow. Wow. He's going to say, "I'm sorry, my dear child." God has given space to heal. We cannot go into the best. Wow. [sighs and gasps] It's beautiful. The ultimate healer. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry. Apologize. validation space validation is judged as valid you know and then his thoughts and feelings are valid valid >> and that's how people can heal >> yeah 100% they Oh my. >> So, how could people reach you? You want to say your phone number? Phone number down, email address. Yeah. Yeah, sure. >> Okay. So, I'll give you the office number. It's 914246006. >> Again, my the office number is 914246006. >> Okay. >> Yeah, that's the way to reach you. >> That's the way that's the easiest way to reach me. This is this is this is this is the best But like the set of like the healing process >> and this simple in life and all is connected. >> Yeah. I always say going off the exit in a highway is just one little turn. One little turn in the beginning but you'll end up in a totally different place. And that's what healing is. Healing is not the sun switch. >> Yeah, of course. >> Connection mitzvah is connection. Healing is connection missed opportunity. How do I connect to the zas to someone outside of me? How do I how do I relate right? And the way you relate to me is the way you can relate to yourself. The way you relate to yourself is where it starts with you from within you. The part of you that you connect to relates Two days ago, three days ago, they kicked them out of the foreign. Wow. Wow. You're not thinking of Hashem all day. You're not able to think of course. Of course. So therapy is >> [clears throat] >> Yeah. Present either. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah, >> they should let you know. >> Yeah, >> Ellie, what do I need to heal? >> Oh, wow. >> Thank you. Thank you for asking. >> Why can I still heal? [laughter] >> You're amazing. You're amazing. >> I'm trying. >> You're amazing. >> I'm trying a lot. >> Yeah, I know. And it And it shows. It shows. I've watched I I've watched many interactions. >> Just get it. >> I've watched many interactions of yours that I've learned from in deep ways >> in the last what 14 years. >> 14 years. Yeah. Since >> 2011. Yeah. >> 2011. >> Okay. >> Thank you. And tell me what what what can I heal? [sighs] >> Ready? Yeah. Throw it right back at you. >> Throw it back at you. I think I think that Okay. >> Thank you. I appreciate it. >> Toronto. for game talent. Whatever you have is [snorts] pleasure. Breakfast for 15. I would never say this. Beautiful. >> So I appreciate your humbleness. >> [laughter] >> I appreciate your you're being very real [snorts] natural natural natural any personal but oh mention [laughter] well this is Mrs. I feel it to myself. Whatever situation you know they needed me at that time. I didn't go and say no. elephants. >> Yeah. [laughter] It's It's scary to say that for me, but yeah, you're saying that's the work. Okay, >> that's the work. >> Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate the >> Sorry off camera, but yes. >> Oh, you're cutting this one out. I hope you're cutting it out. [laughter] I could cut it out. >> I'm joking. I'm just kidding. Okay. recommendation for therapist anybody they feel direct message.com the real healing the real help incredible >> and continue being able