R' Moshe Weinberger LIVE from BRS (5783/2023)

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[Music] Glory. [Music] Yes. [Music] Yes. Yes. [Music] Are there [Music] you [Music] Shak shak everyone. What an incredible energy. What an incredible electricity. It's amazing how a room could be transformed and stomach a Sunday night. We watch from afar. We join rebi for yuratites and ilulas for dates on the Jewish calendar which are significant but the stam together and just to draw from the energy of aal we don't need only always the of theikim but the sadikim who come together just to share and just to be and just to sing and just to dance and reb who all come to drink from your fountain to learn to listen and to be inspired We're filled with such gratitude for so many things tonight. At least among them sitting up here my colleagues my dear Rabonam of the Bookerton synagogue who tirelessly dedicate themselves to inspire and to lift our local and so much more. We're so indebted and grateful to the people who are sitting here. But there's but there's somebody who's not sitting here mascots. It was at this gathering last year a year ago that Moscow wasn't able to join that night because that day that very day Ariatipurra began this fight, this journey. And so a year later, a year of her fighting and their fighting and our fighting with them of Davening and storming the gates of Shmayim. Continue to miss his participation up here, not only tonight, but regularly. And much more importantly, we continue to collect our energy and our and our prayers and our merit. So we couldn't allow and this energy and Reb's visit without dabbling for a moment. So we'll ask everyone to please rise. We'll say one perm. Adonai Adonai. Show me. [Music] Bon Shalom should shower her and her family with strength and with healing, with comfort. Borak Hashem our third time hosting such a such a gathering such a night of inspiration with our within we all know that when something is done three times it makes it a it's irreversible it's established it's a given on the calendar it's a date we long for Hashem next year and every year to be together to sing and to dance in your kodes. But should that not happen, we're already locking in. You have a kazaka going forward. So many here tonight have drawn so much inspiration, so much learning, so much personal growth, so much self-awareness, so much spiritual ambition from Ravineberger through the years. Included among them is a tal of Yakov Danvski just published a beautiful safer is selling it in the lobby. Encourage everybody to take a look. It has so many of the Toras and the similar ideas and the lessons to continue to learn and draw. And we welcome him tonight to our community. You can't get together a group of holy Jews without expressing a karate of gratitude. So a big thank you to so many who make an event like tonight possible. to Jeffrey Goldrab, not only for all your work and efforts tonight, for all that you do every day for our sh for our community. Amazing custodial staff, Mosha Kamitki Productions. Big thank you to Rabari Murszo for his work in organizing tonight. Always [Applause] a big thank you and a huge Mazlev to Ron Esabog and the guitar. an incredible musician just got engaged to Ran and Mik a big mazle is a big thank you and a welcome to Schlommo percal on the percussions added so much tonight already a huge thank you to all of the sponsors and I encourage you published in the weekly weekly are list of the names of the people who enabled tonight's beautiful beautiful evening but much more than that so much of what the Dr. like Balazan based med does in our community on a daily daily basis. Every morning and every evening and all the hours in between to host and to spread and to promote and to teach Torah in so many different ways from the morning kal to the afternoon kal to the night kal to the shurim to this rash yeshiva to the speakers the list goes on and on on and on of the kaburas of the many many different learning opportunities that are all in the name and all in the of Dr. Bellazan who was a tremendous tremendous inspiration to me personally and to so many who knew him an accomplished physician and an accomplished never a contradiction between the two Torah were dripping off his lips you'd meet him and he wouldn't talk about what happened in the championship game he would say or he'd tell you the latest one that he learned his capacity to inspire and elevate everyone around him is something that elevates our community when we have the chance to learn Torah under the banner of his name. I want to thank the Bellazan family, Mrs. Bellazan who's here and I hope has a lot of nas from all the learning that happens from that base medish. A huge thank you to my kus and my dear friend Dr. Alvin Bellazan for all of his leadership and hard work in order to enable the learning that goes on under our B medish. A very special welcome to Belazan. My dear, thank you for a beautiful beautiful Shabas of Shir Torah of Torah learning. It was truly special. We thank you the Bazan family for all that you do. We're so grateful for the privilege that our B medus bears your father's name. We hope that we're bringing him and pride. We look forward to the continued many many learning opportunities for the years to come. I want to also welcome the rashiva and the hala and the of the yeshiva of South Florida. There's a kazak rebi is now here for a third year but this is the first year that we can welcome the yeshiva of south Florida and the inaugural bachram n youite the coal members of this incredible new beautiful Torah institution in our community which we worked hard on we're so proud of but also to which we owe a deb of grret to rebi reby's vision and rebi's encouragement and rebi sharing the rashiva revan with us not a simple thing for a rav to say to the other of every week go away during the week go start go lead be a rashiva of a yeshiva and yet rebi is willing to share all in the name of growing Torah and we are the beneficiaries of that so grateful to the rashiva for all he brings and does for our community so grateful to the yeshiva and welcome it's wonderful to have the yeshiva here tonight a huge thank you as well to the manal of the yeshiva and the rodish of the bazan bmedish sort of Simi Shapi Simei is personally responsible for working yom vala to teach and to spread and to represent and to model Torah in ways that most people will never know because he's humble and he's modest and he pushes and he works behind the scenes. There's only a yeshiva and our base medish and it's learning because of Rabbi Shapi's incredible devotion and dedication. Thank you Rabbi Shapai for all that you do. Our parish introduces us to the man that fell every day and sustained Israel through their journey through the midbar. The med tells us of taught the Torah was only given and those only have license to learn and derive and extrapolate Torah for those who are the what does that mean? So many answers have been offered and given you're not here to hear me tonight. So very quickly in introducing Rebi with this thought, the simple understanding is means the people who ate the Mun did not literally know where their next meal was coming from. It wasn't stored. You didn't bring it in. You didn't have a week or a month or Costcoiz packages of Mun to know where your future food was coming from. You had no idea where your next meal was from. And yet there was an amuna. There was a faith and a belief in Hashem. So similarly those who learn Torah have to be moesh not consumed and not concerned by where that next meal but live within amuna that the is going to shower like he showered the man and therefore but I saw a magnificent insight shap by the who said an incredible incredible idea what does learning Torah have to do what's the similarity or overlap with eating the mun the mun we know was a bland tasteless food. And the gift of the man was that the man tasted like anything the person who ate it wanted it to taste like. So a person who had a pallet, a rich pallet, person who had been exposed to delicacies and delights could eat the mon and taste it. And the person with a very simple pallet, the person who wasn't exposed to and didn't have access to sophisticated and expensive foods found his or her nourishment or satisfaction in the mun. The mun tasted like what you brought to it. the intention, the mindfulness, your experience. We gave the man its flavor and said of Mayor Shapiro, Torah similarly, the attitude we bring, the experiences that we've had, the flavor that we attribute. There are so many around who learn Torah and the Torah for them is bland. The Torah is tasteless. The learning of Torah and the living of Torah is absent meaning and purpose and energy. It's just a series of motions ones goes through. What Rebi Rineberger has revolutionized our world, the world is he's given us taste buds. He's given us flavors. He gave us a rich pallet so that when we open and learn, when we are exposed to and we live Torah, it comes alive and it's flavorful and it's delicious. We have an attitude and approach. We have a connection. It is lifting us. It is bringing us closer to the ribon shalom for that and so much more. We are so deeply indebted and grateful. Grateful that Rebi is here with us. Grateful Rebi is here to inspire us and grateful that tonight is a that will continue to draw to learn for many many years to come. And without any further ado, please join me in welcoming Ber. and says I don't need the apparatus of to come back here. I'm I'm drawn back here with with ropes of love. Ropes of love. My dear friend, we've invested from the best of our from the shul here as well in the yeshiva and the community ropes of love. Draw me back to this place. And you're all very humble. You might not realize that you're you're electrifying the whole American Jewish community. the shame to of this community and what's happening here the quality of learning just the establishment of the yeshiv and this bush I want to give personal thanks to the entire family but especially to miss Bella on a beautiful beautiful to see and to watch before your eyes the miracle that's called boatan this is a miracle it's a miracle and all of the names that the rav mentioned and those beautiful names and the roles that each one of you is playing in building this magnificent Kahila. I was I was thinking before Shabas when the difficult news came from wasn't so long before Shabas till we heard what took place and we had all been bracing ourselves expecting something not good and it You when you look in this form each Makkah each of the plagues was a different world mish and you know the kazal have revealed to us that for every mak is there must Somehow it brings healing these paras and these stories and the swarm focus a great deal on the maka of darkness. And when we look at the account of that the first tells us three days each one couldn't see the other one and then he says like each one couldn't get up brings down from that but there were really two sets three and three different type of darkness. There's an ancient controversy regarding the nature of darkness, whether or not darkness is simply an absence of light. Well, there's a there's a Rashi is telling us that it was of it had thickness. You couldn't move. They come. Nobody was able to move because before Msiah comes, we're feeling two types of darkness. There's that one kind of darkness where a person, let's say, was raised in a home that was cold, was difficult. It's hard. There are challenges that come with raising children. We have a clown that you walk into a dark room with a candle, the flashlight, much of the darkness is dispelled. If darkness is just a lack of light, then a little bit of light, some good words of encouragement can help a person who's going through difficulties of darkness and of coldness before Mashia comes. But there's a second type of darkness. I'm seeing more and more of this as the story of our galas is winding down. There's a darkness that's so thick that you could feel it. There are people who were traumatized when they were children, who are surrounded, who are swallowed up in darkness, who simply can't move with their lives. They can't move ahead with their lives. What does it mean for these children? For the families that saw and then you're gunned down and to live the rest of your life with those memories or running away from those memories. There some here who grew up in the shadow of the Holocaust, grew up in such homes. And what was it like for these people? There's a darkness that suffocates, that surrounds, that chokes, that immobilizes, that paralyzes. For that darkness, a kind word, a good a good sh, they're all wonderful, but it's not enough. There are talented therapists who try to help. There are medications that try to relieve some of the pain. There's so many so many people who are in that second place of the Makkah of darkness. But we believe that sends and we all understand that or a little bit of light is able to dispel that first kind of darkness, challenges, difficulties. But a little bit of light is not enough when it comes to the darkness that many people are suffering from these days before Msiah comes. Of course, the Mashiach comes as going to be our gracious. There's going to be such a light, such a powerful light that's going to break that grip of the darkness of the end of time. It's going to be a final healing of that Maka that the whole world is suffering from, including ours. But what we do? What do we do before Msiah comes? What do we do before Mashia comes? So you know this entire cyer in that in very explicit way describes the love between a prince and a princess which of course is a mush for the love between and kess is hashem and the Jewish people. But you also know that there was such a fear that this book would be misunderstood. That if not for Reba, it would have been lost. It would be in a library be in archives be outside of Tanak. But Rabbi Keva, Rabbi Kea was a fighter and we have Shir and there are many many Jews all over the world who say she shim to be mabas before Shabas and others at different times. There's a dear friend of mine was a big mashpim and a great guy and he's become over the past few years very attached to a sadic and so I'm not mentioning names because maybe it would be uncomfortable for them but he's become attached to a very big sadic and this sadic has taken such a strong liking to this American guy this friend of mine that he's mad and that he drives him all over the place and he's close to him very close to to my friend. So one time they were driving someplace was my friend was driving the sadik and he got up the courage to ask the sadic and he said can I ask you something? He said sure. He said, "Why do you why do you love me so much?" So the sadic said to him, "All of my other say they only think about the niml of what it means, what it symbolizes. But you're also thinking about the mshel of a good marriage, of a husband and wife, of people who love each other." Not just the niml of what it symbolizes, but what it what the mushel is. The mush is deep. It's real. Hashem wants it to be real. There was a songwriter that we used to listen to we. I say we, it means me and a couple million other people, but I don't mean we. But there was a song that he had, shower the people you love with love. Show them the way that you feel. That's back in the 70s. Don't start singing and googling and all that stuff. Just just appreciate the words for what they mean. Shower the people you love with love. So listen, I want to tell you something about that second type of darkness. What sent to us or the light, the holy light of the I want to explain to you something. When I was around 16 or 17, I fell in love. I'm being very open with you. I fell in love with you. You heard of him? There was a that was teaching Torah in Queens and he said over the first piece of that I ever heard in my life. I hadn't heard I heard of I didn't hear any maybe I was 15 16 around that time. Every self-respecting knows this. It's at the very beginning. It's the second piece in to hear an explanation of this from his grandson of salvation. But the RAim is famous. You know, Raim's life was to resolve what appear to be contradictions in the Rambam. And those of us who learn Torah spend a great deal of our lives doing that as well. And at the very beginning the second ini he points out the tremendous what seems to be a tremendous contradiction between the raam the fourth par of and the 10th par of my wife told me in advance please don't start reading the raams together with everybody it's not a she's always right so I'm going to stick to what she told me I would prefer to read the ra together but that's That's the Shiva part of me. But it's so part of me. But everybody knows the Rambam seems to be saying Ram says very clearly that if a person without the Ram says in the fourth if you d without intent and thought it's not it's not it's not ding but then when you look at the 10th par so there the Ram says in the 10th [Music] that if you at least had kavana by the first braha by the of the office you first had at that first you had kavana satisfies the requirement for kavana so asks what's going on and his answer again. I'm just saying something that I'm hoping that that all of you know explains and here I must read at least one or two sentences that there are two types of when it comes to just like there are two types of darkness. The first is to be able to understand what you're saying and to think about the words that you're saying. That's one level of kavana. The second level of kavana explains is the kava that a Jew must have when he or she is dinging that you're standing in God's presence. The Ram says what is that one should clear one's mind out from all other thoughts and he sees himself standing mish in the presence of the and explains that this kavana Not what you're saying, what you're asking for, how you're praising him, what it means to thank him. All that is very important, but it doesn't define, none of those define the act of dening. They embellish one's dening, but they don't define the essence of what daving is, the act of what it is. says this level of this that you're standing in the presence of God of this says it's not the very act of dening itself is that awareness of his presence of being in his presence. And if a person a person might have all of the thoughts of all of the meanings of the words according to Rashi and the Msudas and the Malb and he could have in his head all kinds of fantastic pilpulum in what the mean. But if he's missing this basic herish that I'm standing that I'm standing in his presence says it's not Therefore, this standing, that's an important word. I'm going to talk about that for a few minutes. This awareness, let's not call it a thought. This awareness, this tangible thick awareness that there is no darkness. I'm standing in the presence of the creator of all worlds. This explains the Rambam is necessary for the entire time of Dav. Without it, it's not. And that's what the Rama is talking about. So let's talk about this word again. I'm still now talking about the nimsh. I'm going to get to the mosha like my friend who was talking to the husbands and wives friends, parents and children. I'll get to in a minute the mosh but in the nimshell says when mish This word no means to be present to feel Hashem's presence and to be present in that presence of the of Hashem at that moment. that when you're saying the words [Music] then when you're saying the words is like the say you two years ago I played a song only you we were talking about that. This is B of that talk from two years ago because regardless of what darkness it is that you're going through in life and one of the great cabalist writes [Music] The infinite one never ever moves. He never leaves. He's always He's always present. We're just not thinking about him. We're not talking to him. We're not aware of his presence. Loaz the writes the doesn't move right now. We're not immersed in any darkness. Although some might feel that we're afraid for the health of a child that we all love and a family. Each one has other fears and sometimes you feel that they're choking you. You feel that the darkness is going in your nose in your ears. But when a Jew lives in the world of when the world of when you live in a world of without reality that Hashem doesn't move. The writes movement means there's something that's lacking. If I have to move from here to there, it means something wasn't good here. I was missing something here and now I have to go there. It'll be better over there. There's no such thing. ain't no there is no Lui doesn't move but human nature human nature is such that it's so hard for us more than ever before at the stand Still, my wife knows that I was longing for already months to come here to be with you for a couple of hours and then to just the two of us to disappear someplace. I mean there's a minion but to disappear someplace to be able to just stop to try to stop because human beings since the beginning of time is cursed with being a noika no means that even if we're sitting still our minds are racing are moving our thoughts our feelings are running here and there it was at sad we asked me a little while ago about the union of his what that means to spend a few minutes to spend a couple of minutes a week to try to go doesn't have to be in a forest doesn't have to be someplace far away from the community it could be in your own house but to just find a quiet place under your own talis and to stop moving to be in that place of in Hebrew there's a But no, no means presence. Hashem is there for the person who is there. And Hashem can never be found for the person who's not there. So when we're what is saying we're saying you can have all kinds of good thoughts and you should we should think of all kinds of good things. We're asking or praising and we're asking for praising and we're asking for and for we're asking sim shalom and we're ding for all these things and we all have long lists of words things that we're asking for that we're ding for but somehow in that as that we have of doning is teaching us the Rambam that somehow even in those holy words that we're saying we can forget the tas of all that we're doing. The point of all of this is the point of all of this is is to stop and to be in his presence. [Music] Now let's talk about the marshall that my friend was praised for by the sadic in the in their ride up to sometimes when there's lenu when there's a lava when there's a funeral sometimes I question whether or not I have to be there could Maybe it's a person who's not really a part of the kahila. Sometimes there's a person who caused harm to the kahila. The person's life has ended. And then I begin to have these machas. I I had certain things I wanted to learn that day. I had things I had to take care of that day. And then I'm going to that place. Well, you know what? I'll go for shiva. I'll go twice during I'll go for does it really make a difference if I'm at the not the same wife who warned me not to read the Rambam at that point usually says to me which she just did the other day. Why should I think you should go? I start to f for a little bit. A little long, you know. There's a not like that as we say. I think you should go. So, this just happened the other day and I went. I'll tell you the truth, it was impossible for me to get all the way into Levi because of the massive that was over there and I had to get back because there was a meeting that I had to be at. But I was able I went with one of the and we parked on the side of the cemetery and they were just going in and whatever and I ran in. I ran over to this old friend of mine and I didn't have any words to say. people, you know, they expect us rabbis to come up with some doozies. I didn't have any anything fancy to say like a a good vert, but it wasn't necessary at all. I ran over to him and I started to explain why I can't stay in your and he just looked at me. He was holding me with each other's eyes. Weren't Weren't you ever at something like that where you weren't sure if it was your place? But you wanted to make that eye contact to say another word besides no this word is I'm here like spoke right within from within the burning bush he said I answered that answer that word that one amazing word which is and over the years I've learned and I have to learn it again and again and And that there are especially those moments in a person's life where you have to be there and even the most noble adventure to go and bring the whole world back to Hashem to teach some great Shia or to run off to Isel and be mar and give Shir and so on. We speak over here Yiddish a little bit. It's not worth anything compared to that moment of I am here for you. You remember when Hillakin said what did he say the words I'm an ean how? So everybody's asking Hill is the most humble person in the world. How could Hillakin say such such a man? If I'm here then every then everything is here. You ever go to visit somebody low lane in a hospital who's sick and again there are no words and you're not even sure that the person's conscious of your being there you feel. Sometimes when you're holding the hand you feel something and then sometimes the eye opens up for a second. You don't even have the tim to say. You just look in the person's eyes and you're screaming out of the top of your lungs, I don't know how to help you. I don't know what I could do for you, but I love you and I'm telling you something. I am here. I'm here. Haru Hill was the one who said means that when I am here I'm completely here and I came here for you said I'm here send me tell me what to do I'm yours there's a woman that just asked She was saying that we're all very proud that our husbands are learning and domining. It's great, but we need their help as well. To be able to have a marriage where the wife is able to feel the presence of her husband that even though he goes by Hashem and she should be proud and she is proud that he goes to Dav and he goes to learn but she knows that when she needs him I am here. The world is missing. The world is missing. I'm here. The world is missing. Even before it started with the phones, where children are halishing, where children are dying just to see their father's look in their eyes. where you walk into a classroom now in a high school. You walk into a classroom and you it's almost impossible to make eye contact. Even if they don't have it in their hands, they can't look at you. There's no there's no I am here. I am present. The mind is racing. It's 9:04. I have to be someplace at 9:05. I have to be someplace at 8:30. And if I don't have to be any place, then there are 40 emails that are waiting for me and 100 WhatsApps and the Netflix that I wanted to catch for the past two weeks and there's no of not with a wife, not with a kid, not with a and that is teaching us the Rambam. That's a and without that it's not called marriage. You're the best husband in the world and you make a and you're a der and you're a learner and you do car pools. You're a good guy. The only thing that's missing is you. And more than anything, all she wants is that mitas of Imman because then the hearts are healed. Then even the darkness of the second three days of mit the darkness is dispelled because that's not that's what I said before when I said that when I said the name of the holy bashm it's not just but you need to understand that if you live a life without studying without learning the deeper light of terror whether it's the I'm not talking about but if you're not connected to the deeper light of terra That Torah that you're learning with the Kash and the with the Rams and the not going to save your life when the darkness creeps into your nose when you're being choked by that darkness of this world. Sure, they'll give you a and every word of Torah, no matter what that Torah is, is filled with light and filled with life. But there's the light of Mashia. There's the there's that Torah that's the deepest Torah in the world. You know the word is the icest. You have a friend who's going through a hard time and you're there with him. You're there with her. You're there really. You give him back his you break that darkness that was that was killing him. This is the time of the year that's called shim. these paras of there are many great tikunim I spoke to this I spoke about this two years ago it's not written in it's not even found in it's found in the hearts of the Jewish people at the end of time who are desperately in need of that feeling of shar of that feeling of being no of being in a marriage where I feel that my husband my wife is here of a child who feels that my parents are here not just that they're that they showed up but they're here like Hillman so is crying out to us during this time of the year return to me my children. And I mentioned two years ago, how do you go away from Hashem? He's everywhere. That's what we spoke about at the very beginning. Hashem doesn't move. Hashem is everywhere. He doesn't move. Only has to move. Hashem is stationary. He's everything. He's everywhere. He doesn't move. So I spoke to you two years ago. He says, "What does that mean to do? He come back to God. He never left you. Hashem is saying, "Shou, I want you to come back to me. I'm here all the time, but you're all over the place." That's what the sadd is saying to my friend. I love you because you don't only think about what it symbolizes. You live it. And you tried to live it in your marriage. You tried to live it in the marshall and the niml with your kids, with a husband, with a wife. That's not the chuva. I mentioned this two years ago. That's not the cha of tish is more on the the dos, the don'ts, fixing, repairing. All of that is says, "I I I'm proud of you. I know you keep you eat kosher, you keep shabas, you're doing all the right things, but you're not here with me. Where are you in? Where are you when you're learning? You're staging. You're learning. When was the last time you thought that and this is coming down is whispering his words into your ears. I mentioned a few times in the shul so could be it's it's probably recorded also but I spoke about my father Shiva will be the third yard site and I mentioned how I remember one time that I was very very I was very upset about something that happened in school in college at that time yeshiva but something happened and I was very very upset and you remember there used to be a thing called a pay a pay booth phone booth a pay phone right so in the lobby there of wu in first there was a there were a couple of phones and I went to call my father my father had a dry cleaning business on third avenue in Manhattan And I called my I called my father. My father generally didn't like to answer phones. He didn't like phones. My mother used to go with him many days also to work. She should be be healthy and soon. So my mother answer the phone. Can I ask can I speak to daddy for a second? So my mother says it's you call back it's very busy. I said just for a second ma I have to I have to talk to daddy for a second. So my father gets on the phone and he says is everything okay? He said dad you know and I start to tell him a little bit what it was and he said hold on hold on for a second. So for like a minute or two it was quiet then my father gets back on the phone and we spoke for around 45 minutes. And it helped me a lot to get through that. Then afterwards that night, my mother gave me a little bit of a mish. What are you calling at 3:00 in the afternoon? The store was filled with people. My mother said, "You know, you know what daddy did?" I said, "What did daddy do?" "Daddy just asked everybody to please leave." And he locked the door of this store and he went to the back and I went to apologize to my father and I said, "Daddy, I I didn't mean I I'm sorry. I didn't realize that the store is busy." My father looked at me and he said, "What do you think the whole tas is of why I go to work?" And that was the end of the conversation. I live for you. He name me. I'm here for you. So, you know, I was on the I enjoy technology a little bit too and they have this thing some of you might not have heard of. It's called FaceTime. You heard of it? Oh, I can tell you heard of it. So FaceTime is a galaz because we have our youngest children living in Israel and and I'm I'm actually able to to to see my my my daughter is my youngest Shashi and my son and to see our grandchildren. It's not as good as being there but it's it's it's much better than it used to be. the phone shabas. I was on the phone with with and my little granddaughter ta she was in a talkative mood. She most times she hasn't given me the time of day but she wanted to talk. She's picking up herit in school and we were talking a little bit init with each other. It's very cute. And I just gave a crack and I said to her, "Detsel, I love you so much. I miss you so much." And you know what she said to me? She didn't say, "I love you." She said, "So then, why did you leave me? I can't stop thinking about that." So I start the phone. You know, I'm a I'm supposed to be a scholarly type of a person. So the problem with scholars is that they don't really have a with children. You understand? So I I I I tried to come up with something like listen to this one. Well, you know, actually you were the ones that left us, you know, we were all happy in Woodmir and you had this great idealistic parents and they decide they're going to go on Alias something. I didn't actually say that. I was thinking it. But I'm thinking about how she said that. The way my father said, the way she said the same thing. Well, you're saying you you love me and you said that you miss me. So then why did you leave me? That's the You understand? Do I have to explain it? How many times now ding in our words do we say that we love you we love you we love you and Hashem is saying then why did you leave me so instead of sharing with you a story which I usually end with a story I'm I probably went like way over time I'm so sorry I want to read to you something this is in English though I'm okay is it all right this this you have to go and go. I'm not holding you back at this. Did any of you ever hear a person by the name of Jay Litfin? Any of you heard of? No. Listen, there was this Jew Jay Litfin. He was a brilliant person. He became a Baltua. This goes back quite a few years maybe 40 years when he became Shamsis very successful brilliant person and he became he became a Kabad Lavich and he was he was uh working with children in Chernobyl after the nuclear reactor exploded. He went as a for the Reb to go there and topple with families and with kids. This is connected to his profession somehow. I don't remember exactly but he went there and he was helping and as a result of that Jay some years later got sick. There was something sitting inside of him from that ma from Chernobyl. He got sick and he he died relatively young from cancer. But before he died, he wrote a number of essays which my wife and I first saw quite a few years ago. And now there's a whole book of essays called The Life I Have. It's Kadai. You can't get it in the in the stores. And we ordered it. We got it. The Life I Have. And it wasn't long before he passed away that he wrote this essay. Let me just give you 10 seconds background and then I'll just read you a couple of sentences. We'll have a niggan and we'll call it a night. Jay was talking here about a son, a little boy 9 years old by the name of Dovy. Tragically, he didn't get to raise Dovy. and he was describing how Dovy loves tinkering with things and fixing like a lot of kids. That's why I was so surprised. I'm just a couple sentences. That's why I was so surprised the other night overhearing a conversation between him and my wife. Dovy Dobby said this to Are you going out tonight, Mommy? My wife sometimes to the students at night. No, sweetie. Are you going to be home? Mommy asked. Yes, she said. Good, he said. Pause. Do you have anything to do tonight, Mommy? No, she said. Good, he said. Why? She asked. Nothing, he said. I was just hoping you'd be home. Pause. Do you want me to do something with you tonight? She asked. No, he said. Then why did you ask? She said. I just hoping you'd be home. And she asked. I just sit on the couch. That's it? He asked. Yep. That's all you want me to do? She asked. Yep. just sit on the couch and crochet. Yep. That's my favorite kind of night. And she did. He goes on and he's reflecting upon that conversation that he overheard and he was looking. Jay was watching the rest of the of of the night. To Dovi, it seems there is some magic. Listen to this. To Dovi, it seems that there is some magic, some essential element in the simple presence of his parents. something sensed, something urgent and elemental that allows his independence and curiosity to flourish. Perhaps it's our availability, the knowledge that we are there if he needs us. Apparently, he likes it when we're only a yelp away. Who knows when a strange noise, dark shadow, or scary scary thought might frighten him? Despite his bravado, perhaps he's worried that he might burn himself with his smoldering iron. and then goes on, "We can't always give it, but here's what I believe Dovy was asking for when he described to his mom his favorite evening. He wants her to be sitting on the couch crocheting. I don't know if you remember what that is. To be sitting on the couch crocheting, present and active." No. But not so engaged in her activities that she doesn't have time for him. not so engrossed in what she's doing that she'd be bothered if he came to sit and cuddle next to her when he became tired or lonely or just felt the need for her affection. He wants us present, cozy and comfortable, available and interested. He wants us to be there napping or reading or even puttering with flowers or paying the bills as long as we are seen and heard and can be counted on just in case. He wants that magic indescribable something that occurs between parent and child when they share the same space, the same time and space. He believes, and I agree, and here's the end, that in the security of our loving presence, he can conquer mountains, defeat armies, rule nations, author novels, write poems, manage large companies, compose concerts, design buildings, or solder two wires together on a Tuesday night. So, the little bulb lights up and affirms the conquest of his genius and perseverance. Just sit on the couch and crochet mom, he says. It's my favorite kind of of evening. And if you do, I'll traverse the heavens, discover the source of rainbows, search for angels in the dark, and learn to sing from the hollows of my heart until I fall asleep with my head in your lap. That's what I believe is talking about. That's what is talking about. That's what our lives are supposed to be about with each other, with our kids, with our husbands, our wives, and with the one who created us, just to be there. I want to give a to each and every one of you. There's so much more to say in this inion. And you know, it's one of those things that afterwards, if you think about what I said, you're going to struggle to come up with a sentence or two. It doesn't make a difference because I'm not giving you a lecture. I came here to be with you to be present with you and even though I don't know most of you to tell you how much I love you and to tell you that is there whatever darkness you go through as individuals or the community goes through to keep that with you every second of your life to feel that so that all of us will be able to be strong and to see that day of with the bless. [Music] The light da Double [Music] ade [Music] D. [Music] Let's go. [Music] I'm fly. [Music] It [Music] boy it up it Did it I'm [Music] boy. [Music] I see. I say [Music] your name is your [Music] I say I [Music] did it [Music] Do a mission [Music] do [Music] it. Get it up. Get it. Get it. Get it. Dash [Music] no [Music] la I'm the road I'm [Music] I know I [Music] [Applause] aos I'll be more [Music] One more time. [Music] Hallelujah. God [Music] Foreign [Music] speech. Foreign speech. Foreign speech. D [Music] I know my my It [Music] come [Music] down at the bottom. Oh, did it? Did it? Did it? Oh. 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