R' Fischel Schachter on "The Gift Of Time" opening remarks by R' Peretz Steinberg

good evening thank you all for joining us tonight marks the second monthly Gathering that we have forra and tonight's program is dedicated in memory of nanel benamar I'd like to call upon Roy Steinberg asra to start with a First Capital to H and D as me mother know [Applause] say for [Music] [Laughter] yeah what do the rest what the rest [Music] evening ladies and gentlemen welcome the Gathering it's a special Gathering many people have observed and spoken about the fact at least we in Q Gardens Hills have witnessed a tremendous amount of aus all different types of people man with yamas men with men with bolinos men with not too many but we say all different types and the same thing women with and and those who are not even married all different types of people have come to D together they till them together and show a tremendous amount of is so much more important today than ever before I was thinking about a last Yash I want to open myat and bring it home to the actors of Cl thek says when you come to plenty of places of worship go should worship people don't really know the by people that they would not walk on the block of a church probably no one knows about that and when one's going to a very well-known rebba he said when he was a Youngster know knew about the fact that there's a reform movement saw what theform movement is going to be before it ever came about most probably most people did not think that will be a movement by cloud is to give our children to go which reform movement is I remember I was newly married I live right here in the garden apartment ments and I was sitting out under overhang and learning and a woman who was visiting her sister came and said are you are you a Jewish Orthodox oh I'm I'm also or I'm I'm also Jewish but I'm reform and she said to me I belong to reform Temple and fleshing and she would you believe that here of our members are not Jews I said of course I believe why should they be Jews no shabas no what do you do as a Jew just have a Jewish star on the front on the front of the building said oh I never thought of it that way I said yeah that's what it is so I once went to a very he said when he was a Youngster his father would tell him to show someone directions he would not wor on the street on the block of a reformed Sho it would seem like a a tip today everyone walks any place but it says when you come to you should know that there's danger points there are places of worship of go worship you have to destroy all those places ask your no place for this not for reform not for conservative not for of course then the next says don't do this says in shabas you're not permitted to erase hashem's name what happens if hashem's name becomes erased not because you did it it's only a if you do it you're not allowed to do it that's an you can't be they're not going to give you because that's what the says in shabas Rashi says on this such a puzzling Rashi as she says do you think that a Jew will come with a mallet and knock down the come with a with a hatchet and chop down some part of the you think Jews are so insensitive they'll do such things they don't have to have a POS no Jewel do it so what does it say no je do what have to say a actually says you're not all to erase H's name you're not all to break down one of the stones of the do you ever think that Jews will come with a hatchet knock you don't act like and you'll cause the to be destroyed so asashi says here grma you're going to cause it oh grma he said why is she saying grma here only says she comes up you should do you shouldn't do things that you'll be causing the migler should be destroyed this parenthetically tell sometimes says something is and sometimes the says when it says it doesn't mean it's m means you you get you don't get punished but you're not allowed to do it I'll give you a few examples if you cause somebody a damage hsit you don't have to pay for it but it's not permissible you see your water is going is going to fall on somebody else's property and destroy something you say it's Grand water is just going I didn't push it on and put it on and take it off so means means you don't pay on this world most people are too young to know about it but in 19 40s 30s 40s how many people used to walk supposedly religious people shus shabas is to walk and wheel their children in carriages why because a person with a child who can walk himself you're not and they said not means people didn't realize it many many people getting back to deals with cl in a different way than he deals with any other nation in the world the says the Your Shadow on your right hand you're walking in the street you pick up your right hand you see a shadow well two things caused it the son and you but you are the one who made that shadow if you put your hands down there'll be no Shadow put your hands up there's a shadow deals with us in a manner of whatever you do does reacts to us and therefore therefore the P says if you do a you're doing it your hand is there and the shadow was there said I'm taking away so a positive side people come together especially before people are coming together with it CH we are proclaiming and we are words this shows the of and reacts to us in that same manner if there's strife and there's difference of opinion and people are going in all different directions acts to us in the same way but we show the the all together and shows us in the same way therefore we should be Z all of us together should be [Music] see the time of Mr sber at this time I'd like to call upon our keynote speaker for the evening for div of official shra it's wonderful powerful words I hope I don't take away from them says that after the ya you're not supposed to eat so it doesn't take away the taste of what you had till now I don't want to take away the taste but the r left us it does say you could allow to drink water though because the water doesn't take away the taste so I just hope to offer a glass of water Cloud s is experiencing I think an ongoing situation that I don't remember in my days I remember there was a crisis I remember as a child the y k War I remember the VAR the Saddam Hussein and his bombs but they were all limited to a relatively small timetable and when it was over it was over something is happening over here something that started with the horrendous Beyond imaginable kidnapping of the three B and it's like ongoing it's almost like the says no no no no no you're not going to run away from this I need something from you we're at a turning point in the history of CLA Israel it's not going to be business as usual things are going to change and it's almost we would like to say what a tragedy okay but come on life goes on and it's like is saying life is not going to go on one sees fire another sees fire another sees fire and look at this situation it's inish there's a saying if it wasn't my problem I would laugh you have Hamas that gets on its hands and feet and begs for a ceasefire the Israelis give in and then Hamas violates a ceasefire and then you open up the main n networks across the country and they're going to tell you according to Palestinian sources isra Israelis violated the Seas fire it's true according to Palestinian sources Israelis violated the Seas fire you can say anything Twisted into words you can't catch you they say a story about a shat who was deaf somebody asked him about a b he really didn't want to give him any information so he said the way I hear he's a good boy you know tight it up the way you want this y went swimming someplace you know the forest ranger comes is what's with you people the son says no swimming allow he says that's what it means says I thought it meant no swimming aloud he says you know there's no right you touch anything and we get it the way we want it to be T that's just the way it is what's the story of the person doing the experiment on frogs heut off one leg of the Frog not recommending this I'm just saying a story that they say can't vouch with the authenticity though but I think the point is cuts off one leg from the Frog and he says Jump Frog jumps cuts off the second leg he says jump it jumps Third Leg jump it jumps cuts off the final leg he says jump it stays there so the scientific study concludes that when a frog loses its four legs it goes deaf but it didn't jump you can twist and turn anything so that it sits fits your needs and this is not to in any way devaluate human tragedy because for the vast majority of people living in the Hamas territories they're all human hostages and pain is pain amas but I'm saying where it's so obvious what's happening over here and yet the world will twist this into exactly exactly what they want and we we would like in a way to run away from it okay it's a terrible problem in Israel but we can't run away from it because incidents of anti-Semitism are on a rise that almost we only find in story books the day does not go by Europe Mand I had two young Bim from France at my shabas table and they said that there's no one that they know that wasn't beaten up at one point only question was how badly we do we understand what's going on in the world and we live under a very very false pretext of security of denial it's not to say that the government isn't doing everything humanly possible to try to protect its citizens but between you and me if two people can climb up the Brooklyn Bridge and get away with the American flag and nobody stopped them there supposed to be a police car there by the I was wondering like you know the traffic is all backed up because they made a special Lane to keep a police car there 24 hours what were they doing they were ding my what what they didn't see didn't see anyone climbing up the bridge and take off the flag but I think it's A's way of letting us know a while ago couple of weeks ago I was in some of you may have heard the story from me ready I apologize but I think it's important I'd like to get to the Crux of my glass of water as is I went to visit my daughter who had a baby there with my wife willing a carriage and we left our apartment which was all the way by uh up on and we crossed bar Lan and we went for a walk all the way down to Ezra Tyra it was a beautiful y evening and you there were Rockets being fired from Gaza what else is new you know mahadin comes out with a new ice cream Rockets fire from Gaza it was we almost immune to it like you know NE on the people in and you know okay ashal you know it's it's them you know it's always NE on them said people think there's a there's a group of people that die there's a it's interesting the has a pelic of art is a tremendous this time period between is a very related time period we're supposed to be what was the Great well one of the reasons were every Tish CL Israel had to dig a trench and they had to get in there and many died as the was that the mes midbar would not live to go in in the morning of TSH there were some who climbed out of the trench some who didn't came the last year Tish the last of the generation of the midbar climbs into the trenches the next morning they all get up every last one of them they said must be a mistake it's probably not t but it comes and the Moon is glaring in its full Living Color they didn't make a mistake the is over what a tremendous Joy what a tremendous asked a question who are these people that climbed into the trenches that last Tish and came out now there were 600,000 people that left M the that they should die because of was and anyone who was over 20 so all those people were supposed to die the ones that were under 20 were not supposed to die the only ones that survived that were over 20 when they left were yesu so who are these people that on the morning of that Tish got up one way if they were in the category of the M midbar why did they get up supposed to die if they were in the CATE if they weren't in that category they were too young or too old so why' they go into the trenches says there's different opinions in the and Som well do the math 600,000 people divided by 40 years what that about 30,000 a year the last 30,000 didn't die guess what not just Yeshua not just C the last 30,000 didn't die according to one opinion says the why didn't they die because the first year M said I'm sorry to tell you you're not going to go into Israel all 600,000 went into the trenches the night of they knew that 30,000 are going to die and everyone said he's going to die that person he speaks that guy hasem you know it's not me right and 30,000 died and the next year they did the same thing the next year they did the same thing until it was down to one before the last year only 60,000 left hey the math is not so good 50% would you sell him a life insurance policy it's not me it's him it's the other guy it can't be me me and God we have it now we we we no way came the last year these 30,000 people looked at each other they said there's no one left to die only us we can't say it's going to be someone else we're the only ones that are left and they started shaking and quaking and they said B I love him save us said if only your previous generations would have done the same thing instead of just assuming that it's someone else instead of just assuming that it's not me you get the sense wants us to understand hello little y doesn't make a difference if you live in Los Angeles or San Francisco or Mexico City or New York or Barak there doesn't make a difference where you are gas guess what and you're included in this and take a walk basically on the outskirts of any section where you are walk long enough dress like a yid and duck for the rock flying over your head and then you'll understand that you're included in what the wants us to include like the r said before wants us to get together let's let's try to let him know we're willing to get together let's try to cry out to him save us from this Gus save us from this sorus one Sor after the other on children four-year-old boy heard the mother talking and saying that she was the most happy happiest family that ever lived and a senseless missile comes zeroing in and takes the life of her four-year-old today there was a tragedy in the country six-year-old girl par missing from Lakewood in y something is happening it's not coincidences okay but it's him but it's not me sh it's not me right it's not working that way says I need you all to say it's me it's me not that I want to frighten you but if you all say it's me it's me it's me then I can help you thean really wants to help us so we're walking in Ezra's Terra and was sitting down and I'm we're Wheeling the carriage back and forth a baby all of two weeks old and I'm you know looking at my phone and I'm telling my wife you know that there's a bomb in Ash and there she's says we got to deal with certain issues that I didn't want to deal with I said there's time she said there's no time I said there is time it's not the first time we had this argument you know what they say that if uh men had to clean for PES and ladies had to build the Suka both would start an a of PES so we're going through all the difficulties in life the ups and downs that we have to deal with children and we're like oh no no make a decision I don't like decisions you know and all of a sudden then it creates a certain degree of stress nothing radical but a little bit stress over there and all of a sudden I hear in the distance that whale the whale of a siren no no it's a mistake no Sirens inan Sirens are for for the towns near Gaza Sirens are for kirona Sirens are for the Goen Heights not here this is you know where is pizza is it can't be a thing over here this ises I got to tell you when I heard the siren we both were stumped it was that that Eerie siren that you hear you know in the swanlike fire department the volunteer fire department and then all the locals come flying with their pickup trucks so I said to myself is that the shabas alarm Wednesday night boy jet lag is really getting to me but then we see everybody running we see children running see grown-ups running and you know we give each other this look and we say okay this is for real let me tell you something I like telling stories I don't like being in the story so much but guess what whether we like it or not in life we are in the story your whole life is a story chapter by chapter Page by page so we go running I got to tell you that my Hebrew is much to be desired I meet someone on the street who's running I asked them where the makad is tells me it's not a good time to go shopping he says you mean miklat what whatever mikl what's the difference you know with a Southern draw it sounds like my you know a Brooklyn accent so we run into the mlat then we found out something about Yan mlats then most of them most of the mlats are gracious hosts for suas bicycles great-grandfather's exercise bike and all sorts of things your you know your grandmother's chairs no place for people so someone yells come to the come to the stairway so we run out on the street looking for a Stairway and the sirens are getting louder and louder my wife is clutching a two- week old baby and a bunch of windows open up and a bunch of people are waving their hands and they're saying come come come come come come in all different languages you know you hear it was amazing European accents and you hear it in come on come on come on what he stand here get in you know in Hebrew always saying the same thing guys and we come running into this stairway and it was the first siren y had in I think it was one two years ago it was the first of the kids were scared a little bit but you know there's a saying where there are Jews you don't go hungry one guy comes out with a play to rug says it's his grandmother's yard site is giving out to everyone other guy comes out with water other guy selling raffle tickets to his kids lunch or something good time to and basically another person comes around with you know and the start smoing you know basically everybody was trying to calm everyone else down and in the distance I hear one boom and I hear another boom you not quite sure what it was and they go you can't you know and ladies are just smoing away as if this was uh prepared this invitation from which I guess he did as everything else in our life and like the Simons are over and like the men are leaving that's if you have an apartment to go to the women are still smoing with each other really you live here really that's your aun second cousin sisters I didn't know they know they say have two Jewish ladies talk to each other and they don't know a common person it's only because they didn't talk to each other long enough so finally we get out we're walking and there's a tremendous resiliency in CLA Isel and that I noticed on the occasion of the three years Sirens that I experienced in is just a second later the street is back to normal you couldn't tell a thing that place Thursday night that sells CH late night CH so you everything is just you know whatever it's going to be is going to be that's it life goes on who has time for missiles in the second siren that I heard I kid you not I'm standing over there know so caught by surprise now I'm Old Pro and there's two shies are running one of them says to the other they run in Sirens are getting louder then everybody emerges after the sirens goes out the other guy goes with V with who as if like nothing happened in between come ation goes on so it struck me it struck me the unbelievable resiliency of CLA and a couple of things struck me and I sat down that night and I tried to put it into perspective what my experience was and something struck me which was very strange the second before I was sitting in the park so there was a lot of pressure a lot of pressure nothing terrible the normal ups and downs of you know sandwich generation taking care of grandp parents and and children and and suddenly I'm in this stairway there's no pressure no to worry about now no bills to worry about now so people say yeah if you have if a person has the big Dy you doesn't worry about the small Dy it wasn't even that I wasn't even worried about the bomb honestly I trying to figure myself out was I in denial I was like just smoing with these guys oh boom boom okay gangor and we walked that I'm trying to say I probably was in denial why was I why did I feel so relaxed why had that moment right with my wife clutching a two week old baby and everyone's here and this is the first experience and no one knows where this thing is going to land and the sirens why did I experience in a way a Tranquility a kind of never had to this day and age it's tough tough people are not rued people AR calm then I saw AO from ra and he describes his experience of running into a shelter and he says that that he realized there's five Mitzvah you can fulfill when you run into a shelter and he lists these five Mitzvah Mitzvah number one there's a Mitzvah to believe that there is a to believe that he makes our appointments the with and the with whom and the when at every Split Second of your life is hashem's appointment and he runs this world and every missile has an address every word has an address there's a Mitzvah during a time of Crisis to open your doors there's a mitzvah to feel the pain of others there's a Mitzvah to DAV for others and there's a mitzah thank hm that I'm alive after a crisis when I heard thato I said it's beginning to unfold and I want to went through each of these very quickly because we live in a day we live in an age we're all running into shelters in different ways it doesn't necessarily have to be a missile as we deal with the day to day said in his time that a yid that stands up to his day-to-day tests in this day and age his Service is like the inside knows exactly how difficult it is I said to myself what was the Tranquility at that moment it was very simple all this stuff is not bills job decisions decisions it's it's all not there's a bomb coming at you right so what can I do about the bomb can I get out and blow blow it away can't do that so all I can do is I can run into a shelter that's Myas that's my effort and say okay I did what I can do now whatever happens I'm in your hand it was so obvious that it generated a certain sense of Tranquility that I never had I look wherever this thing Falls it falls I can't control it I'm in your hand hey that feels very good to say that I'm in your hands and I was thinking about this later how come we can't do this in regard to all of our difficulties in life not that we should be complacent not that we shouldn't be Hands-On but whatever your situation is that's keeping you up at night whether it's Financial whether it's Health whether it's relationships why can't we do the same thing I'll do I'll take step one step two okay I did mine you do yours if we can learn to do that and we can Merit this special Tranquility that were in's hands that he's not just when you have to run into a shelter not just then why can't we do it why is it so much harder to do it you know somebody asked me a question question fellow's a doctor in Etsy friend of mine he calls me up he want to ask you something this this fellow comes in he wants tranquilizers why does he want tranquilizers because this missile thing is driving him crazy the the the sirens the alarms so I said to this guy this is what this friend of mine tells me who was his doctor he says Mr so and so I have been telling you for the last year that your blood pressure is Sky High you won't take medication cuz you're scared of side effects your cholesterol is 350 you won't take medications because you're scared of side effects your sugar is through the roof not only don't you want to take medication you're not slowing down on the cheese danishes you're a walking Time Bomb you haven't done a single thing about it and you want tranquilizers because of the missiles I don't get you he says what are the chances of the missile falling on your head but but every time you bite into a cheese danish do you know what you're doing to your life says the guy didn't you're not going to give me tranquilized right okay I know these missiles are driving just walk down and get it so he asked me what do you think what's the difference I said the difference is because to slow down on the cheese danish it requires change in your personal life it's much easier to scream oh yeah I'm so scared the world's coming to an end the ARs are destroying us with the gone there's no a so the world's again that's much easier to do in a sense that is to change your life and that is to actually pick yourself up and do something so that's number one number two open up the doors open up the doors I tried to Picture This you think in Midtown Manhattan should never ever happen if there was an aid siren people would open the windows and doors and yell to the populace come on in not because people are bad culture wouldn't allow it the the the the reality of the street wouldn't allow it I said to myself thinking back to that moment what were those guys doing by the window anyway they're opening their doors come on in come on in has a when he comes into a crisis situation that he can go one of two ways you can lock yourself up you can open yourself up to others it's a choice sometimes that we have to make when CL Isel is hit hard and we see it clearly We're All in This Together We open up our doors I think the r alluded to it beforehand we could only learn to open our doors in our personal crisis how much different would things be what doors will Hashem open in Shay to feel the pain of others to DAV for others and a to be happy that you're alive uhoh isn't that a contradiction I ask you isn't it a contradiction Hashem I feel so bad over those family that lost children but those that lost their their houses but those that are those know soldiers on the front line a help them help them cars oh thank you so much that it's not me isn't that a contradiction how can you have in someone else's for others and then say but God I'm really happy that it's not me the velt says ofart what's the difference between a big operation and a small operation a major operation is what minor operation is what happens to someone else major operation is what a person himself as to go through I think that the answer to that I struggled with it for a while and I got it I was involved in a certain shom situation trying to make shom and it was not doing very well the only shom I got between the two parts I got both of them to agree to hate me it's often the case in mediation and quite frankly I kind of had it so I went to my M right d wison was I said to him REI can I parachute out he said why and you asked that I get involved in this it's really just getting the mud is just getting thicker and thicker and like you know the mud pies are flying quicker and they're getting you know it it's and then I said something which really was a wrong thing to say there I I said it it it's taking up a lot of my time turned to me and he said what does that mean my time is it your time yeah it's your time really can you buy time all the billions in the world couldn't buy an extra second of Life who says it's your time it's hashem's time maybe Hashem is only giving you the time to do this does that mean it's my time that was the end of the conversation suffice it to say that I would continue getting deeper and deeper into the mud but it struck me very hard the truth is M once told me that he learned this from ra today when he was ill and not well his response to that was to get rid of some of the Gatekeepers the more it was difficult for him to walk the more events he attended the more it was difficult with him to deal with the nature of the politics of having to be up there the more he ran away from it afterwards the more he got involved he got involved with the Shu and the various different that he was involved in somebody once asked him you're not well miraculously soan said the doctors told him originally he had five weeks that was five years ago so what does that mean it's hashem's gift of time hasem gives you a gift what do you do with that gift it's not my time of P's understanding was that if Hashem gave him a gift of time then he has to use the time for the right thing just the opposite it's not my time said to me who says it's your time maybe this is the only reason someone told me a story that there was a king man a middle-aged K man there was an older Al that had she was petrified to allow an AER into her house a maid and they said the house was Mish so he went up there every Friday took upon himself this Mitzvah and he mocked the floor for her and he did this many many years and one day he passed away suddenly this cing man by the end of Lev somebody came and said who's going to take over that mitah of mopping the floor they went to look into it and they found out that this old lady passed away a week before him could it be that it wasn't his time that his time was a gift and because his time was a gift and because he understood that his time is a gift so therefore kesu gave him borrow time I think today in this insane world you think about the political scenarios of what's going on what the state department is saying you know how vulnerable we are it's not our time time is a gift and that's how we think about when rashash comes so we have to make it very clear to the and what we're going to do with that time you can look for excuses and say I I was over shabas with a in in the the rally hotel and there was a yid over there I wouldn't be surprised if the whole world standing in his he's a yid young father suffering from ALS the only thing he can move is his eyes and they Wheelman in a wheelchair not just a wheelchair he's literally strapped on all sides his eyes follow along and he's ding he wanted to be there by do you know that this man took all of the deero tests on Dai for the entire year he fored himself on every solitary da an average test took between 12 and 13 hours cuz the only way he could communicate is by them waving an alive based chart in front of him and follow his arm to his eyes come to a stop they say giml valid that's how they put together the words this man sits people looks at they have a bigender with a gar during the week whatever the computers help a shabas they use this system this man sits 13 hours a day and learns and took the took tests he's determined to take tests to make sure that he doesn't slack off a little bit he can move his lips he can smile is what's our excuse nah but I'm having it so tough I can't think of someone else no no because you're having it tough that's why you have to think of someone else trust me I'm talking to myself I'm not I'm not looking down anyone there was Koski Aid there was a man in KY lost the daughter he was the husband was ofer broken into pieces his wife was doing better than he was rash came to the husband one day and said you're here from morning till night he said no I'm putting my whole life into Tyra which isn't that have no problem with that but he saw that it was just an excuse cuz he really was getting more and more depressed he said to him come here you don't realize that your wife is battered and hurt and by your frown you're making it worse for her you're obligated to support her go home every night and force that smile on your face for her sake he did it for her sake probably saved his own life cuz it got him out of the depression so many times you can only understand that we have to move on for someone else I once read an article about a 17-year-old kid who was an apprentice on a ship in Pearl Harbor he was too young to see what he saw beheaded bodies limbs people drowning in oil but he went through that entire night of fire and blazes afterwards he went totally out of his mind I had to put him into an institution and the therapist came to talk to him he said to him I those images I just can't see it I see the Japanese planes bombing I see the ships blowing up I see people going up in pieces he says to him what did you do the entire night the night of the attack he said the night of the attack we were fing back and forth we were fing people into the oil dragging bodies out that were burning and and there was no time like to think but the next morning when the post trauma stepped in so this person said so as long as you were fing people back and forth you have no post- truma so why don't you become a paramedic and put your life in so he writes he wrote a whole book this person he became a paramedic and ahe of paramedics and that's what saved his life you know we look for Comfort it's important to look for comfort and it's important to give Comfort but the only real Comfort comes when you give to someone else and that's the answer to the contradiction you know the answer to the contradiction is on the one hand I feel someone else's pain on the one hand I DAV for him on the other hand thank you hasem that I'm alive that's dangerous because you could say thanks God that it's him and it's not me they say there was this counselor in Camp that told his kids if you ever see a dog even a ferocious dog even a pitbull don't worry just say to and you'll see the dog won't hurt you and the counselor is Walking with the kids and this big dog comes toward them and all the kids go and the dog sits down on its hind legs you know goes meow like a pussycat and they turn around they look for the counselor he's all the way up on top of a tree they said to him counselor you forgot the P he says no he says why did you go up on the tree he said I was scared the dog forgot the PK he said very easy to tell someone else you know oh I feel so bad for him he should really be makak himself he should understand whatever Hashem does is good thanks hasm that I don't have the test now that's not what it means to put these together and on the other hand it means CL is going through a lot of SAR now Syria Lebanon go the world the press the streets a lot of people are grieving a lot of people in so much pain even before the war a lot of people suffering Health children what's going on out there thanks hem that it's not me no thanks hem that it's not me and therefore I understand that the in my life is a gift and because it's a gift AEM tell me how to use it let me use it the right way in order to be able to use it the right way you have to have a certain level of a I have a you know gives everyone what they need people say to me how come stories only happen to you how come they don't happen to me I say well first of allm gives everyone what they need second of all you know I think stories happen to everyone just have to see it see yourself see me look into your life think what's going on around you and you'll see the stories you'll see them one after the other rapid fire don't worry you just have to look you have to learn to look at the BR at the CLA so I have this friend he's a lawyer he's a corporate lawyer he's rough and tough nobody wants to go into a closing with him he gets up he has to speak to a crowd he literally has to hold on to theer he should have faint in me I'm just the opposite I'm a with everything else get up to a ground even I have problems I get to like what is it winter or is it summer I can't make decisions in front of everyone you know but hem gives everyone what they need so he's making a B mitzah for his kid okay making a B mitzah for his kid he tells me please write me a script I shall write you a script okay I said come on your fathers you say thanks everyone for coming come on write me a script does sound doesn't sound good on a script supposed to be from the the heart you I want to thank Uncle Misha for coming from Montreal I want to thank Tanto for coming from Miami I want to thank for not coming from Zur you know whatever you have to say say give me a script I'm so scared your son's B scared guy goes into lions and corporate you know mergers he's scared this is my give me a script as once by that this kid is like reading his little cute pitz kid that his head is hardly protruding over the stand he goes and I want to thank my mother for all the unbelievable devotion and hard work and can't read my mom's handwriting and no he needs a script all right I write him a script then he comes back to me and says his wife said he should add some humor to it she add some humor to it okay you know it's like sick to read a joke from a paper doesn't work um and then you know like know so I'm trying I got to give him simple joke but he doesn't so I'm thinking thinking thinking okay I got it I said you know I write this joke out for him once there was bz boy everybody brought him one person B him M another person bought him an AER another person B him a other guy brings him AER one guy brings him an umbrella he says why are you bringing me an umbrella he says I wanted to give you something at least I know you'll open okay fine so give the guy a joke you know so he gets up there comes the big night of the bra Mitzvah and I'm I'm in the crowd and he starts out like this he goes I want to tell you this amazingly funny joke and I'm going oh no you never start a joke by saying it's amazingly funny because it's never as amazingly funny as the expectations that was only the first part of the problem he goes on to say like this he's already giggling he's laughing at his own joke like you know and he goes somebody once gave an umbrella to a peritz boy to open he like you don't get it it was like what now every every you know you know when you make a joke and it falls flat like Jes need you just you know lick your wounds and you go on VOR but he went back he's going to get everyone to laugh you know he doesn't understand why no one's laughing they gave him it's an umbrella to open you don't get the jokes so some people like laughing politely others are like saying what so he tells me afterwards what did I do wrong I said what' you do right I said he never preface a joke by saying it's a great joke what makes people laugh is the element of surprise that's number one number two because what makes people laugh is the element of surprise you can't give away the end of the joke before the beginning of the joke that was the last line not the first line there's nothing funny about an opening an umbrella when you contrast it with that's humor I said to myself mhm so what makes us laugh the element of surprise so if I wake up in the morning and I believe God owes me and I'm angry when my wife you know didn't give me the 100% respect when my husband didn't me 100% I'm angry when things don't work that way and I'm angry about my boss and I'm angry about this and I'm angry about that because God owes me you're never happy you'll never ever be happy there's never an element of surprise you believe the world is coming to you you're only angry when it's not working out the way you want and it never usually does but if you wake up in the morning and you make an assumption God owes me nothing yeah life is a gift huh and in addition to this gift I'm getting breakfast too in addition to this gift I can breathe in addition to this gift I can move my hands and feet not just my eyes so you're happy the more there is the more it's all connected to each other in order to be happy we have to stop thinking about ourselves and start thinking about others this person told me this story instead I should keep it a secret I said it only say it amongst friends you know hutner once said there's no difference between a secret than a non-secret other than a secret is something you say to one person at a time it's not a secret you say to a couple of people at a time I remember once I was ding uh I was in this hotel for Shas and um I had yite for mus and I had this big everyone came to here so I went to ask 10 people to come out and D this I don't know this hotel like they don't let other men on them so I went to the manager I said I have a yard site can I take out 10 no no no no I said heavy art said come no you don't let me take out a Minion for M me die for my mother it's the last time I'm coming here he says okay but go to nine people don't tell anyone but these nine people and tell them not to tell anyone okay and you're not to start telling it to them until after until you Canin so there's no time they have to say to anyone else whoa he gives me a back room go with nine other people and engage in the clandestine activity so I I go over like after you compare don't tell us this Garling away and go I go to nine people okay by the time the finishes Kadesh I turn around I turn around literally 300 people are following me into the there's no such thing as a secret okay so this fellow tells me that his that if you go to Kevan there's the K over there terrible massacre in 1929 he says one of thear is empty it's his grandfather's Cav and it's empty it says a name there's no one in there okay he tells me that his grandfather was an was a tower of and once called him in and he told him Aaron in now they're giving you a choice Aus riches or good kids which one do you want as if you have a choice gives you such a choice hey rabi quit the kids you know give me the box right it wasn't exactly going to so of course he said the good kids second you got it comes back into his room he goes what about the SP you know he says Hashem I have an idea give me the money I promise you I won't use it for myself I use it for my kids like don't give I don't give up the I just won't use it for myself that was between and him between him during the terrible he would learn was divided in half half went to K then there was a terrible K Massacre he for whatever reason was Buddy buddies with a lot of the local Arabs they came in he was stabbed it missed his heart he fell to the floor he was lying there for almost an entire day he overheard everything taking place he was literally picked up and thrown into a pit with dead bodies when the Red Cross came and they were taking people out after the massacre they found him alive they brought him to a hospital bunch of British intelligence agents came in and they realized he was privy to hear a lot of who what when where although they didn't do much to protect this but they really wanted to know who was behind it and he was scared to answer there so they promised him everyone thinks he's dead they'll give him a different name they'll even make a for him and really everyone saw him being killed they saw the knife go through it he still didn't want they offered him a some Financial incentive with that money he gave half to the to rebuild in half he invested all of his life he lived inel he was a very very wealthy man he lived in a tiny daa kept his word married off every single one of his children every single one of his grandchildren that were alive during his time the rest he put away into funds and he once told one of his grandchildren the day I made that Capa sh give me money I won't use it for myself people think I lost my money I got my money there's nobody in the world that enjoys their money more than I do e we're not on that level we're not to live in py De but in our mindset we can say the time is not on ours in our mindset we can come into this and say A new year is coming help me help me believe that everything is you help me open my door help me be mypal for others help me feel other people's pain and please help me to have a car cuz if you have a car you have life if you don't have a CS to tell you if you're just angry at everyone and anything someone comes over to you and says do you have the time think about that no I don't it's God's time so therefore what can I do for you I remember once I was driving a flat I was looking for a place where I had to speak it was late at night I don't see well at night and the cars beep beep beep beep you know e around the block and finally I'm I'm I'm driving a third time around the block trying to find the house and there's a guy behind me going slowly and all the cars are beeping behind her you see see he's even waving everyone behind them what's your Rush he says who's this sadic and I look and I see yeah it's a meter taxi it's a yellow taxi it's running on a meter of course he's not in a rush and I said to myself our lives are also running on a meter and do we know how much AES pays if we take passengers there's a fellow told me he was about many years ago they kicked him out because he he D too slow you know he wasn't ding with with enough Gish too quick for them 30 years later they asked him to come back he says you threw me out cuz they D too slow he says then we were in a rush he says now we know where we're going we're not in such a rush he said life is a meter and time is a gift and that's what is telling us and thees says is an interesting Min the more you appreciate something the more he gives you and the more we appreciate time the more of it will give us a good K are thank you very much rabie official Shak let's give rabie Shaka a round of applause please ladies and Gentlemen please stay seated as we're going to be reciting the two Capital ofm that we have in our sheets very very soon very momentarily just a few very quick announcements before we do that uh once again this year is dedicated memory of thank you very much to the Mur family for dedicating this year in his memory it should be known that he was a 20-year-old Israeli soldier that unfortunately passed away in the Lebanon war 30 years ago so he's I also want to give a big thank you to the queen Jewish Community counsil the qjc Warren he the president who's here and Dr Rabbi keen and the others for helping sponsor co-sponsor this event chickens for shabas rabie Newman as well for helping sponsor tonight's event and of course the Organization for helping with all that that they do um another special thank you to the Sho and the r for opening its doors for tonight's event as well thank you very very much we really appreciate it and uh as we do at every event we collect for a different institution we've collected for B of Queens we've done Katana and we've done MOS tonight we're going to be doing BOS Mal of Queens being that we don't really have a basket I don't see one at least whoever wants to donate to the institution they could leave it I guess on the beima or they could give it to Alicia just raise your hand and we'll make sure to take care of that uh one more announcement that the kazak second annual dinner is right around the corner please say the date September 15th we're expecting a very very large turnout with everyone's help everyone's welcome it's open to the public and uh obviously there's a small fee there will be invitations given out by my very own YY Rosenberg in the back uh before everyone leaves please uh participate any way you can if for whatever reason you can't make it we're going to be having a very large journal and the people could write uh Al car to to whatever the organization has done to the community and of course our main focus are the kids from the local public schools primarily in Forest HS that have no connection to yish the former USSR and we're bringing them back on a daily basis we have programs with them trips and we have mentors and we're very much but in order for us to be continue our work we really need your support so we would really appreciate everyone attending the second annual dinner September 15th uh tonight's event is also dedicated in memory of the four-year-old that was brutally murdered Danielle Tre in AR Israel I forgot to mention that as well and uh I was asked to announce that tonight's lecture will be on TT time.com and that they're going to be coming out with a new app this Wednesday uh Roes so once again thank you very much everyone have a Roes to we will be having my at the end of the program and without further Ado we're going to be having the r of the show The of Ste do the last cap the last two capit on behalf of [Music] AR for [Music] all [Music] might tell you so [Music] for know all for [Music] my the [Music]