R' Chanan Gordon Lessons for Life at Project Inspire Convention 2023

okay ladies and gentlemen welcome to project Inspire 2000 it's a little bit too close and 23. so it's it's uh well it's a it's a tremendous honor to be there make me the opening speaker every year it's unbelievable so you know it's only downhill so I want to just dispel every from the outset because I must have had 50 people come up to me and tell me Rabbi Gordon are we going to talk about this Harvard anti-semitism wrong lecture that's I think we're going to talk about that on Sunday and I'll tell you how I think project Inspire got this topic so several years ago I launched a podcast and on the advice of uh a very prominent rosh hashiva whoever in this room no doubt knows but Shiva said do it in your English name we're living in a weird world and if the rabbi Park leave out and it was doing very very nicely just to take you back a step started the humble beginnings was the Ben Shapiro gave me his back office so to speak and then I got a call from Spotify which is a big platform big platform of podcasts and they said we should add a tagline lessons for life I did not learn at Harvard and literally the next episode the whole thing blew up so there's something that's very fascinating apparently about this topic I think I should dispel from the beginning so I went to Harvard Law School in Harvard Business School and I have no regrets a lot of tremendous relationships but I made a comment once and I'm going to stand by that comment that I did not learn a single bit of Life wisdom at Harvard University zero life sagacity at supposedly the premier Ivy League school in the United States so I've on the advice of the project inspired looking back at 15 20 years of public speaking various organizations and what I've done and I hope this has sort of set the tone for our convention and hopefully we can walk away with some Pearls of life is four things that I believe every single person in this room experiences and none of the tertiary educational institutions talk about and it's a sad thing because people leave the hallowed Halls of the eye of the Ivy League schools and they don't have the tools to navigate the journey called life so I can guarantee you that every single person who walked into project Inspire 2023 into this incredible opening lecture every single one I'm hoping and praying has pain in your life the gamoras is very very clear if you've got 30 days without some kind of pain without some kind of adversity without some kind of a vicissitude it's not a good sign the Gomorrah says very very clearly in fact the rambam talks about the fact that the highest form the highest form of pain that a person can possibly feel is indifference so prove positive that our Karishma loves you is we all know that GPS for life certainly we all know the very final destination is going to be the Havoc Edition and along this journey akarish Baraka is going to make sure that we recalculate and that we in our myopic perception of life in the world often perceive as pain who does Hashem think he is and hopefully we're going to learn today that that's proof positive if you have pain in your life if things aren't going according to this preconceived idea of what you thought life was all about it's certainly proved positive that the almighty loves you so rule number one that they certainly do not teach you at Harvard is how to deal with adversity all of us Farms say that one thing in the journey called life that's a guarantee is pain but suffering is an option stories told about a mother is she is she's in the kitchen cooking for Shabbos she has a loud scream coming from the living room if she runs into the living room and she sees her beloved daughter it's called a Rocco manual sweet little girl and she says mom she's and the mother says what happened you're Rocco and Rocco says mommy my Barbie doll's head fell off and she realizes this is a teachable moment this is a time where she can impart one of the most important lessons that we all learn in this journey called life and and that is how to deal with the inevitable adversities with the vicissitudes in life and she said Rocco I want you to come with me to the kitchen and her daughter walked into the kitchen with her mom and she said you will notice on the stove there are three parts and what I'm going to do is I'm going to pour water in part A Part B and in part C and what's going to happen is I'm going to crank up the flame on the stove under each of these parts and you will notice after a time that this water will start to boil and my beloved daughter one thing I will guarantee you in this journey called life there are going to be times where you're going to be in a boiling hot water she called her daughter back 20 minutes later lo and behold the pot was the warts had boiled in pot number a she threw in some carrots in part number B she threw in a a raw egg an important number c a Rocco's mother put in some coffee beans and she said Rock hello I'd like you to watch this and remember this lesson for the rest of your life she said I love you with all my heart and I will tell you when you when you land up in the inevitable boiling water the hot water in life who does not want you to be a partner number a like a carrot because the current goes into a boiling hot water and it fragments and falls apart and it's a little it's little pieces at the bottom of the pot of life that is not the way a Jew is supposed to respond to the inevitable adversity of life and my beloved Rocco I don't want you to respond like apart number B part number B the egg that was put into the boiling hot water became a hard-boiled egg and she said my beloved Rocco I do not want you to become like this egg to become hard to become stoic to become bitter that is not the way a Jew it should handle the inevitable vicissitudes and adversity in life my beloved Rocco the way that a Jew is supposed to handle the times we are in boiling hot water it can be personified by pot number c and in part number c the coffee beans turned the boiling hot water into beautiful Aroma of coffee and a beautiful smell and something that we all hopefully drink in the morning and she said if you realize that every single bit of the pain and suffering and setback in your life is sent to you by a benevolent altruistic loving God and then perforce not only is it going to be for your good but if you did not feel this it would be the worst possible feeling we all know the analogy in all of our lives the two three-year-old little little kid goes into a doctor to be inoculated against mumps or chicken pox and the kid gets pushed towards this this doctor with a white coat and a stethoscope and can you imagine what a little moist she's thinking the three old kid my my mom's betraying me and this person saying this is huge needle but what's this first thing here that little Moishy does after the injection turns back and hugs his mom so we know ultimately that this is coming from a loving force that is coming from who loves us as Ghazal say more than we love our only children so rule number one that they certainly do not teach you in the hallowed Halls of Harvard University is that there is a way to face the adversaries of life and that's certainly not the way that we are inculcated in the circular world and that is to ask the question why we'll never know we will never ever know how do we know that the first letter of the Torah is a base and before I should say that that's teaching us we don't really know what's behind we don't know the hashbrainers it's only looking ahead and so if we when we hit those inevitable vicissitudes asking ma why is something that at best would exhaust you and the truth be said you're in great company because martial art being the greatest person to ever sojourn the planet ask this question of the almighty and it's something that we should know that we will never really understand as our nashamas or captured in this thing called a goof so rule number one is it's to what end when you feel the pain the second thing that they certainly don't teach you at Harvard University and that's something that every single person in this room in the first speech at project inspired at 2023 no doubt has experience and that's a phenomenon called failure let's talk about some secular examples how maybe you guys know of a four of a kid who was four years old it couldn't read at the age of seven he couldn't write at the age of 12 he was he was kicked out of elementary school and was told that he has some academic problems he's mildly my friends you know this person today as Albert Einstein and perhaps you've heard of a cartoonist a cartoonist who was determined to become a a person who could develop their art and they went from one newspaper to the nest trying to become fulfill their dreams until they were the person was so financially Indigent that the person went to the church and told the priests and the church I listen I don't even have a roof over my head and the priest said all I can do my friend is you can stay in the farm born behind the church at least you'll have a roof of your head and the story and the true story is the person who sat that night on a bundle of hay and that might a mouse came out of the corner of the farm Bond my friends you know that Mouse today is Mickey Mouse and that cartoonist is Walt Disney and perhaps you've heard of a woman who grew up in the South whose dream it was to be a Hostess a host on a television show she's a person that suffered tremendous abuse and as a young teenager she was told after her first audition get off the stage this is not your calling this is embarrassing and my friends that you know this person today as Oprah Winfrey what's the difference between these people and the people that call themselves a failure the Torah says something which has been misconstrued many many many times it says in michly it the concept of doesn't necessarily mean the person who's saying to heal him in the corner with 17 17 pressures over his head it means a righteous person a person is trying to grow the Mishra says that a person like that has to fall at seven times and not like he he falls seven times and he gets up there is no way you can reach a greatness in this world and be comfortable it's binary it's antithetical to the way who created us and the world you want to be great there's a price that you're going to pay if you want to be great and that's called pain there's nothing that you're going to achieve in this world that's worth it that has longevity that is not going to ensure that you fail and fail several times so somehow they are they prepared us at Harvard University for Success they prepared us to win the Nobel Prize to be I set two seats away from someone who went into politics that you might know Barack Obama I'm not sure if you none of us were taught that you are getting here to fail the Torah says it says the following it says that when he's a day when does the day start according to halaka according to the Torah the day starts at night and before she was telling us something very very clear there are times every single person in this room it's going to be dark but it's telling us also that you wake up the next day and I cut it in and her courage baraku will always have lights at the end of the tunnel it's perhaps not coincidental that most of us the first Gamora we ever learned was was about a Shava surveyed which deals with the concept of yush abandoning hope it's absolutely completely against any Torah principle to give up hope that's one of the reasons why we are the people of the Moon and not the sun why because in all of our lives there are times which Wax and Wane there are times where we feel alone there are times our life is more full that you will never ever actualize your potential you'll never reach your potential in this world without flexing a certain spiritual muscles and the the medium of flexing those muscles more often than not or at times that are extremely painful so rule number rule number one for those that got cheap seats at the back and just coming in now he's just following what did we not learn at Harvard University what is life sagacity what is the turret teaching us there are the tools that we should impart to our children our grandchildren that will help us navigate this very tough Journey called life rule number one we discussed so far is the fact is the fact that we will all have suffering in this world pain is inevitable suffering is an option excuse me and one thing you need to train your children and you need to inculcate in your mind's eye is how to overcome this inevitably called called some kind of adversity we don't ask why we ask to what end the second thing we spoke about that certainly is not taught at Harvard University is that when you fail not if you fail when you fail how should you reframe and we understand in many places throughout the understanding of if you want something I'm from South Africa we know a few things about gold and diamonds where do you find golden diamonds it's deep in the earth anything that's worth it you've got to dig for I I I spend most of my time dealing with Gen Z it's a very sad thing and I'm saying this only because I care and this generation is a generation where are the Oxford dictionary four years ago every single year includes a new word into the English language the new word that was included four years ago is the word selfie iPad iTune this is the I generation it's a narcissistic generation that sadly is is is being confronted with social media where every seven seconds a dopamine hit means that you're living a in a virtual reality number three without question something that has become the pet peeve and was the topic of my TED Talk in London and that is certainly the notion that happiness the understanding of what happiness is is one of the things the phenomenon that the secular world has got so very wrong the notion that happiness is something out there and I think perhaps that this is taken from the Declaration of the Bill of Rights Declaration of Independence because we talk about in America life liberty and the pursuit of happiness and so kids grow up in the certainly in America and I think happiness is something you pursue it's exogenous it's outside of you it's either in that state or in the east states my friends happiness is in the state of mind and what the second world has done and it's a very very unfortunate thing is they've conflated two concepts that are very different one is called fun and the other is happiness if a word doesn't exist in the Torah the phenomenon the the atom doesn't exist for example there is no word in the Torah for retirement who's saying when you reach 65 you're not supposed to put your teeth in a cup and go out to posture and deteriorate we are here until the last second there is no word in the title for fun it's bizarre you can hear from our Brooklyn accent that my performance of yours certainly were not spent in this country I've never heard the phrase have fun and so I came to this country I'm going to give you a scenario you tell me if this is fun or happiness week 20 minutes Standing Ovation we go nuts we go out and we have the kibbets we have a we have a Diet Coke we got maybe two a little what is that fun or is that happiness that's a little bit of a gray area Okay so let's say we go to the Six Flags do a couple of 360s and vomits that final happiness that's fun right what would I what would you say about a few months ago I walked my beautiful daughter down the aisle before she got married and after the third step the little tear that welled up in my my left eye by the time I reached the hook I was bawling my eyes out well those tears are fun all those tears of happiness what's the difference funny is ephemeral fun is here today gone tomorrow happiness hits the nashama happiness has to touch meaning what if you've got a billionaire who every single summer decides he's going to take his wife to the most exotic crazy places and one year they go to Bali Bali and then next year to Smalley one year his wife is never she's got a cold they can't ship out they stay in New York and they're on a ferry one day going down the Hudson and husband and wife walk up the stairs onto the deck and lo and behold they see a lady just at the End of This Little Ferry and that hits a little wave and this old lady does a 316 lands up in the Hudson River and the husband the hero of our story jumps in saves us Bubba sends up the uh the wrong letter and she's saved when he looks back on his life which is the summer that he'll always remember the four seasons of Five Seasons or the Hudson River why because we are wired to connect to meaning so part of my job as many of you know about day job besides speaking a lot of different places is we we manage some of the most famous famous actors celebrities the biggest influence on planet Earth and certainly some of the richest people in the world I know these people he's not only clients some of these people have become friends I can tell you I've never met by and large a more dysfunctional and happy group of people in my entire life so the the danger of Happiness being exogenous means that the unfortunately what the Kool-Aid that most all people have been drinking is that money and success will bring happiness they've also conflated happiness and success let me tell you my friends the big difference between happiness and success success is Money in the Bank happiness cannot be deposited success is private jets happiness is flying high success is money happiness is value success is praise happiness is never needing it success is all the money in the world a happiness sorry success is doing what you love happiness is loving what you do success is envied happiness is shared most importantly success is measured in human terms happiness is a Divine gift it's very sad that this entire there are tens of millions of people who are living lives of quiet desperation looking for this notion called Happiness and thinking that's outside of them and thinking that money and fame will bring happiness there is nothing further from the truth Point number four certainly Harvard University didn't teach me this and the secular World definitely it does not teach this the notion is how many times have I spoken at different events and I say Rabbi it says you know this is great it sounds fantastic beautiful accent but let me just tell you I know I would be happy if and now remember you don't understand if only my friends if is the middle two letters of the word life if you look at the illusion the Hebrew word for life the middle two letters are karishma's name if you're connected to the Eternal if you're connected to the two and we all all have a part of the almighty in us if you understand that you are part of a 0.02 of the world population 7.8 billion people 0.2 percent were bestowed with the biggest gift a human being can get and that's every single thing that happens in the world is because of the Jewish people you think an earthquake in Turkey is everything every single thing the spiritual power of the Jewish nostrauma is something that we cannot possibly fathom so if I look at the many times I'll be involved in different seminars workshops and I think of if only here's what I care very often Rabbi if only I was younger I want to tell you a beautiful thing I don't know if any of you remember I call him the dear Abbey column so I don't know if you know that Abby in the Abbey column is actually Abigail Van Buren it's a Jewish woman who lived in Iowa one beautiful beautiful way she responded I want you to think about this a person writing a Dear Abby you know I've always dreamed of being going to medical school but you know if I go now seven years from now I'll be 43. listen to Abby's beautiful response it's seven years from now if you don't go how old would he be [Music] if only is something that I hear all the time Rabbi if only I didn't do XYZ in the past it's such clearer it's such Kira I want to tell you from the biggest people that I've been Circa to learn with before something happens you have something that we have that malachim don't have and that's called after you do something The Fallout everything that is a Fallout is ultimately the very best thing for you I'll tell you a true story I spoke on you I think it was kmr or gateways a woman came to the podium afterwards couldn't I couldn't get I couldn't even hear what you were saying for the first few she was bawling her eyes out and I was trying to just like you know maybe I could sneak in and put up in a coma and it's going to be okay she was crying and he's this and he did this and he went this and I'm like you know I realized after about six minutes of her like screaming and shouting that she's talking about an ex-spouse it took me about seven and a half minutes to realize she got divorced 21 years ago how many people go through life with a hand breakup how many people look living life in the rear view mirror it's not a Torah concept it's the only thing that you have control over is this very moment listening to this unbelievable lecture and in the future the past we have a Matana before created the world has all said he created chuva when you go to the next world it's an open book exam hashems told us the questions there's six questions right now it's clear in English all as far in the talk about the Journey of the soul from this world to the next world it's very clear that we're going to see the proverbial movie of your life in the next world but you're not going to be sitting there with buttered popcorn and a Diet Coke it's very clear from all of them before him that you're sitting there with people who have met their demise before and you're seeing a panoramic view of your life can you imagine there are times in that movie you want to jump under the here's the time project inspired convention 2023 where I want you to remember this for the rest of your life you get an option an opportunity as to whether you see the the cut version or the uncut version how do you cut the scenes that you have karota how do you cut the scenes where you feel like a muzzle how can I do that chuva that is an that is a absolute Miracle where the consequence of something that you've done where you sincerely have harotsa and are put in the same situation again in some iteration that will be cut in the next world and that's why no Jew should be bitter we should all try and be better that is an unbelievable thing that a Jew has and that's why Yom Kippur is such a happy one of the happiest days of the year so what are the if ownies that are here if only if only I was younger if only this didn't happen in the past so I've been asked to try and keep some time for questions which I will I'd like to do because this is going to have an interactive discussion I'd like to just summarize where we are we said there are four basic things that they certainly don't teach you in the hallowed Halls of the island so it certainly didn't teach me at Harvard University and that's number one how do you overcome adversity I guarantee you that every single person in this room has pain her suffering has a pickle there's no question when I flew over from Los Angeles here and I went and I saw the carousel number three at Delta why didn't I pick up the bag of the guy next to me because the bag that belongs to me the pickle that belongs to me is perfectly customized for me and the pain that you have I can guarantee you the pickle that you have the person next to you couldn't handle and vice versa perfectly customized I'll tell you one of the mileage of being speaking at a lot of conferences for many many years it's unbelievable how we say Rabbi you know the guy over there in the table look at him he's got a private sailor room I know that guy over there okay you have no idea what's going on we're behind closed doors would you be worried to married to that Maha Shafer you have no idea what's going on it's an optical illusion a doctor doesn't lean over the Carpenter and say can I have your hammer and even as a carpenter we get the tools and we get exactly customized what is exactly give me my second out in the trauma adversity and pain is not bad pain is the price you're going to pay for greatness and to fulfill your toughkeep we went on number two and we said that the idea of failing doesn't make you a failure it's the the person who won the gold medal for the high jump they were first walking the other way going backwards failure is all failure is a college Parker's way of saying recalculate the third thing that we discussed was the concept of if only and people Everyone every single person is given a certain cause what we have to do in this world is not try and give the cards back to us you made a mistake I didn't order this baby I didn't order the spouse I didn't know I thought I was supposed to be on the Forbes list supposed to say moisture Goldberg not Elon Musk every single thing that happens every single pickle every single tool is customized and you've got to understand according to the view on the gun and that's a few several hundred years ago every single nashoma after his time has been here before as a general rule so how do you know in a different iteration what's going on when people say Rabbi the reason why I did this is because it's in it's an insane and myopic way that we look at the world it's one of the reasons why when we were trained in cure of many many years ago I was told by if not but if someone in the corner asked you about the Holocaust don't you dare answer don't you dare it's insensitive it's it's when people try and second guess why who does them it's arrogance and it's very and it it just it's not the way that we're supposed to handle things the fourth thing we said was the fourth thing we say okay had your failure happiness okay so I'm going to give you 10 rules and then we can open up for questions tennis is for a successful life ten lessons and none of these lessons I guarantee you are taught that any is secular institution and if no if there's no other reason why you came to project inspired you can go home that's it forget the Shabbos I'll email you the trollent these are the 10 lessons for a successful life that's the number one if it doesn't challenge you it won't change you let me ask you the following Yale University the second best idea League school they're an experiment they took twins they took one group right they took I didn't go to in one group the subject group they said shouldn't get darim you've got to be back at seven o'clock you can't do this you gotta you've got to make sure that you eat this the other group completely you want to go until three o'clock in the morning to the party because soon to hike you want to smoke nothing wrong you want group a and Group B they tracked these two groups 20 years later a group that had gadarium they had a certain they had certain rules and the other group the other frat house 25 years later which group do you think grew up to be juvenile delinquents with no with no goodare that's that's not why we're here in this world that's not why we hand this world okay if it doesn't challenge you it won't judge you lesson number two the secret to having it all is believing you already do the secret to having it all is believing you already do saying all of my speaking years which has been many years I think the hardest topic I was ever given was last year paysocket gateways and they gave the topic oh this has been recorded so I have to just water it down a little bit they gave the topic Colony Israel has never ever been so materialistically successful we've never had so much money why are we not happy tough topic what's going on in Cloud Israel today this is another topic of discussion where people are trying to add Kitty shoes other than that shits each other having it all the secret to having it all is believing you already do lesson number three a negative mind never gives you a positive life I'm going to talk on the fourth I think the the last day about the concept of the Law of Attraction about the power of design good what does that mean have a positive you know have a positive mind what does it mean can you can you draw in a positive things by having a positive attitude number four if plan a fails remember there are 25 more letters so I remember I'm not telling me personally Robert Weinberg saying he wanted to start a Yeshiva for balichuva they thought he was Meshuggah he attempted to launch his the first attempt bombed out completely second bomb that third terrible failure the fifth time revnik was walking across his living room and his rabbits and said reblock where are you going he said I'm going to the kale that's it she said that's not your tough kid in the world are you supposed to be a disruptive person who's must beer on many people and remarks started in his living room with 10 people plan a doesn't work for anyone if you look at if you look at how Microsoft started it wasn't supposed to be a company the way it is today Google was not supposed to be a search company number five nothing goes away until it teaches what we need to know if you think that there's something that's that's painful there's something that's bothering you if you say if you get bitter and you get if timers on a college barcode that's really probably not going to help dissipate the pain a college park who loves you he's teaching you something only once you've done the Netflix and understand that there's an and all this forums say if we sit and we think about it we will figure it out lesson number six again how many times do I hear Rabbi I'm 72 I'm that's too late I got so inspired somebody you don't understand I'm I'm holding about the heavy conditioner start where you are use what you have and do what you can that's all I can't respect he doesn't expect you to have that guy's bank account he doesn't expect start where you are when's the best time to plant an oak tree probably about 20 years ago when's the second best time to plant an oak tree right now it's never too late it's never too late to be the person you're supposed to supposed to be less number seven if it if it's important you'll find a way if it's not you'll find an excuse so I have had this course in my life I've been around a lot of successful people people in Torah some of the most successful people in the entertainment in the world one of the common things for sure is there's no excuses the quintessential book on success which is written by a professor Angela duckbook in at Pennsylvania they looked at all the different criteria of why people are successful it had nothing to do with looks it had nothing to do with IQ a little bit to do with accent it was a it was a bad Grit it's grits intestinal Fortune never ever ever ever giving up those are successful people I'll tell you a true story but my first case my one of my first situations out of Law School was a a person that you all know so let me tell you about this person you wrote a script script about an underdog a script about overcoming adversity he went to one Studio they laughed him out they said are you nuts next Studio he went to Studio Number Six they said and this guy he was absolutely living on the couch of a friend and not a penny it's his name that said we'll buy the script of you for 250 000. the lottery here's the condition you cannot play the protagonist we can have one of our actors so Sylvester Stallone walked out and he played Rocky for Paramount eighth time listen lesson number eight the sign of a beautiful person is that she sees Beauty in others that's such a beautiful thing in eintov so Austin Adam guttle before what's one of the hardest things what's one of the hardest things for us is to really have markets when yen is successful the very difficult thing and yet we can do it when there's a horse and color we're going with sugar right but what happens when that guy got a break and now he's living in Davis Village that's that's a McGregor why because that's true in Muna if it was supposed to come to me Davidson knows where you are lesson number nine if you focus on results you'll never change if you focus on change you'll get results lesson number 10 is something I want you to think about as we continue the journey over Shabbos and Sunday because I think that this really encapsulates a lot of what I'd like to share and the tone we want to set for project and Spine and this is following one thing that everyone has in this room that even malachim don't have and that's pahira you have freedom of choice your life is the result of the choices you make if you don't like your life it's time to start making better choices I want to end by saying telling you a quick story what times are we supposed to end oh am I over time what time okay so why are we in this world why are we in this world what is the lesson that no school is going to tell I want to tell you a beautiful story of a high school reunion secular High School reunion at 30 Years After High School the class gets together and one of the one of the guys that's called him Larry looks across the Dance Floor clearly this is not exactly benebra looks across the Dance Floor and he just sees a lady the way she's carrying herself so erudite she seems so refined she goes to the he goes to the principal and says Mr Wilson I don't remember I don't remember that going like you know when in high school but can I see if you get her phone number for me that I really would appreciate it he said I'll do that with pleasure but I just need to remind you the woman that you appointed to his name is Jennifer and and she's blind I said she's I can see she's got character she's refined this is I'm telling you this is who I'm supposed to marry and lo and behold Larry dates Jennifer one day today it's another date and they all win and they move into a little place in Brooklyn and it's bothering Larry so much that she cannot see the sunset she can't see the beautiful plants in Central Park and he's starting to research how can I possibly help my wife ATC again and he finds out after much you research that at the Cleveland Clinic there's a retina implant and if the the operation is successful that within minutes of removing the bandage she'll see again he calls up usually protects you at the Cleveland Clinic and he runs back to to his house in Brooklyn he says Jen you're not going to believe it I found an operation the retina implants if it's successful you'll be able to see again but there's only one problem there's a 12-year waiting list and he saw a little tear well up in his beloved wife's right eye and the pain the vicarious pain that Larry felt he said he couldn't do this anymore the next day he comes to his wife and he says Jen he says Jen phenomenal news you're not going to believe this we Leap Frogs to the front of the line you next you are next we're going to get on a plane we're going to go to Cleveland and I have a good feeling about this but I need to tell you something the doctors told me that if the operation is successful within minutes of removing the bandage you will be able to see and I don't want you to be surprised or shocked because when you do open your eyes and God wouldn't you'll see you'll see a man of the wide cane and dark losses and that's me and I don't want you to be surprised off to Cleveland operation they're in the post-op room the bandage you start to come off and she opens her eyes and she can see and tears streaming down our eye they check out the Cleveland Clinic they go back to Brooklyn weeks lead to months and Larry wants to take his wife to Europe she wants to see Paris she wants to see the chance she wants to the Eiffel Tower and after a while Jennifer says to Larry this is a little bit of a ball in the chain I'm slipping you everywhere this is the hardest thing I've ever ever had to say Larry but we have to get a divorce this is not working and Larry being such an unbelievable beautiful human being said you know Jen if that's what you want if that's what will make you happy I'm gonna call my brother he'll pick me up I just need a few minutes and before his brother takes him to the car and he closes the door for the last time and says goodbye to Jennifer he says Jennifer I have left on the pillow in the master bedroom a letter I want you to read that letter click by the schlepsy to the car Jenna sends up the stairs to the master bedroom opens the letter which creates as follows my darling Jennifer I love you more than words can say he is I want you to be happy I want you to have a phenomenal life I have one request one single request look after those eyes because they were my eyes and before College Parker sends us down to this world he says I'm taking a piece of me and I'm putting it in you you have one thing look after that in the summer 0.2 percent of the world population have a part of a college baraku himself in all of us and he's saying at the end of 120 years you're going to be retrieved I'm begging of you mama like look after that nashama and there's going to be distractions and there's going to be Shiny Toys the whole purpose of this journey is to make sure that you remember the seconds the summer and return it without the Sutra without the Schmutz business Hashem as we go through the next few days together we'll understand what unbelievable privilege it is to be part of the chosen people will understand the distractions of the world they say that this is a generation that while this this unbelievable distractions the source that we're seeing here on a Friday afternoon before Shabbos and people are listening to an unbelievable class of Torah do you understand the system you have do you understand the rewards that you have that that is only because you were hand-picked like a modern son Hitman says You hand-picked by The Almighty not only but to be here in this room we should make the almighty proud we should have wonderful Shabbos together thank you for listening and good Nero Shabbos