Put Your Wife First | Rabbi Zamir Cohen

How important it is for a husband to convey to his wife, you are my number one priority. If you convince her that she really is your number one, [music] she'll have no problem with you honoring your mother, sitting at her house all day, or doing whatever you want. [music] But first and foremost, I want to know that I truly am your number one. Especially since after the wedding, one of the main ways a bride tests her groom is by asking herself, does he really love me? Is he [music] truly attached to me? This is the test. How much is he willing to put his mother aside for me? She doesn't mean to cut him off from his mother, but in situations where it's me versus his mom, she wants to see who he's more connected to, who he cares about more. A wise man conveys messages without violating the laws of honoring his parents. The point here isn't that he should cross any [music] lines. He can fulfill the mitzvah of honoring his parents properly, do everything he needs to, but the messages he sends to his wife are that for me, you come before everyone else. This can show up in small things. [music] Like a week after the wedding, she made a new [music] dish and it's the first time he's eating her cooking. After the first bite, he tells her, "My mom needs to learn from you how to cook." The woman [music] blossoms in places where you really see delicious food, find ways to get the message across, [music] find ways to say, "I appreciate you, I value you, to me you're above everyone else. You're precious to me." That's why a man leaves his father [music] and mother and clings to his wife and they become one flesh. That's what the Torah says. >> [music] >> A person gets married, leaves his father and mother, and clings to his wife. Even though as mentioned, he's still obviously obligated to [music] honor his parents just like before the wedding, now he also has responsibilities toward his own family as long as there's no conflict between the [music] two.