Mastering the Art of Blending Worlds with Rabbi Shmuel Reichman

if you say I want to become a millionaire and you're not going to succeed until you become a millionaire that means that your threshold for saying I accomplished something is 20 years off 10 years off five years off no one's going to do that but if you can Orient your life that you're always feeling like you're making progress so at the end of the day you look back and you say look how far I came you start to recognize that progress is the essence of fulfillment probably a small Rifleman thank you so much for joining me on the Leicester business podcast pleasure is all mine good to be here yeah so we got connected through Linkedin and then obviously I was following some of the stuff that you you wrote and and you're actually passionate about and I figured that it's time we should have you on the show a little bit about your background I see that yeah or you go by a rabbi your social media influencer or bestseller author you have programs coaching musician a lot of different hats as you say tell us a little bit about the background everything you've been doing up until today and what brought you to to doing those programs that you're currently doing I'll give you the short version the short version is that and never in a million years thought I'd be doing what I'm doing today and when I was around 17 years old my life kind of fell apart and I had one of those near-death experiences where you kind of question why you even exist in the first place and what you're doing with your life so most people without getting into the drama of what a near-death experience is like when you're 17 years old most people don't live a very conscious thought out driven passionate goal-oriented life when they're younger and very few people get the chance to really give themselves permission to do that and most people when they're like 50 years old they start questioning like what have I done with my life why am I here so I was given the biggest gift of when I was just a teenager going through these questions every single day of basically saying I don't know how much longer I'm going to be in this world what am I doing with the life I've been given and at the time the initial Vision was really in the realm of Mission purpose philosophy psychology religion delving into Torah delving into the realm of trying to live a meaningful purposeful life and I started to ask every CEO every speaker every person who was making a difference in the world like what advice would you give me like I'm really focused right now in the realm of content and ideas and wisdom what would you recommend if I want to do this long term if I develop my life to having the biggest impact I could possibly have in almost every single person in the business world the entrepreneur world the speaker world the corporate world the influence world the Torah world the rabbinic world everyone said the same thing if you really want to do this well you can have to become financially independent you're going to have to figure out how to finance it because it happening is a lot of people they're inspired especially in the realm of content and ideas and spiritual wisdom and content like that they want to make an impact but they have no way of supporting it so what do you do you essentially either find someone else to support it or you struggle and if you find someone else to support it what ends up happening not in like a pessimistic or corruptive type of way is that the people who support you control you in a very very practical way if you really want to do something with your life you have to figure out how to support yourself so that was the last thing I wanted to hear because the only thing I wanted to do was sit and think and write and speak and teach and deal in the world of content and ideas and covering wisdom but I kind of said you know if I'm doing this long term I'm young enough I can figure this out so I obviously have devoted my life to the world of ideas and wisdom and Torah and content and things like that but I immersed myself in the world I've impact the world of influenced the world of business the world of how to master the art of blending two different worlds because a lot of people they either go into the world of making money and if you're going through all the making money you're lacking the meaning the purpose the inspiration the spirituality or they go into the world of truth of meaning of purpose of growth and then they're struggling in the financial sector but if you can blend those two initially I did it for a very practical purpose which is just to support the vision the mission the impact I want to have but then you start to realize that almost everyone's struggling with this where if they're going for financial success like how's your marriage how's your physical health how's your self-awareness how's your intellectual expansion like where are you in life and if you're really growing in life like why should you have to struggle financially why should you have to struggle paying the bills so you start to realize that a lot of people struggle in the same the same question and it became really fascinating to me because a big part of my mission is helping people synthesize these two different worlds because like if you think about the nature of financial success the nature of financial success is if you can become great at something if you can actualize your potential if you can figure out how to become valuable and add tremendous value to people's lives you can make a great living you start to see the intersection between personal development actualizing your potential that the realm of wisdom and ideas and spiritual consciousness and the whole world of Business and Entrepreneurship and why there's such a thirst in that world for growth and self-development it's because the two are fundamentally linked so it led me on a very interesting path and it's like I wear many different hats the mission's simple the mission is to become older that can be and help everyone else in the world do the same how that manifests is very interesting and how I show up like if I'm speaking if I'm getting a share or if I'm giving a tour lecture you know it's very clearly ravish more race man I was speaking in the corporate world in the business world sometimes it's radish more excellent because you know people really appreciate the blind but sometimes it's more sometimes you know I I don't really go by Samuel but like when you know if I'm getting a coffee at a store it's easier to say Samuel but when it comes to the mission the mission is really to blend a lot of different worlds a lot of different ideas and to help people live a life of Truth meaning and purpose but also figure out how to figure out the ideal way to also not only be financially sustainable but financially flourish by truly figuring how to add as much value to the world as possible this is amazing and I want to dive deeper on a couple of things a couple of points you mentioned but first on the full premise and I think it's such an important topic and unfortunately not spoken enough or not even thought enough where people think young entrepreneurs think that you need to give up everything for one thing so to speak so if what you need to do in your business is okay I'm launching my business and I have to make money so to speak I'll put everything aside let me do this fully whenever you're ready I'll go back to the others it's something that I've shared many times on the podcast just to mention it for for the public and people know that it could reach out to me for a free download of it it's I call it the four wheels of of a car life has four wheels we have um spiritual goals financial goals um health goals and family goals and if you're going to be focusing on blowing up one of those tires and neglect the rest of them regardless how well this is blown up you're gonna stop writing at one point because one of the tires will go will go flat so the point I'm trying to make is that I believe in the same premise that you need to live a blended life because if you don't live a blended life you at one point one of those things will catch up on you and it's very important I guess I want to dive in a little bit deeper to this conversation because it's near and dear to my heart I want to tackle it from two different angles so if you could first of all on personal development and I think I want you to speak about because a lot of people on this show are business owners or very much immersed in the business world so there are c-level Executives and so on and so forth and a lot of times when we speak about personal development they say what does this have to do with my business you know this is personal and this is my business and I want you to speak on that topic how important personal development is to build your company so to speak that's first and second of all is I want to dive deeper into the conversation about personal development as a whole how you look at it with some practical advice on that as well so I guess I'll start with the balance then because there's no question that balance is the name of the game for long-term growth especially if you're trying to build a holistic type of life like well let's kind of build this back in my life like you have your spiritual self you have your intellectual growth your emotional well-being you have your physical health you have your relationships you have your role in the world so in terms of how you're making a living you have your financial stability and financial growth so there's so many different components in life and a lot of people they choose one or two and they focus on that and they go all it's like if you're making millions of dollars a year how's your marriage now if your marriage is great how's your health your health is great you know how much are you learning how much you're growing if you're you know reading and learning intellectually how self-aware are you it's like a lot of people the reason why they choose one or two is because it's really really hard to live a life where you're growing in all Dimensions so you allow some to kind of Fall by the wayside and you become really good at one or two things is that people who are obsessed they have a couple years of exponential growth but they usually Fall Apart they disappear and elongated success is rare because it requires a balance that can be maintained long term and if someone's making millions of dollars because they're so good at one thing that's amazing but if they only are good at one thing it's not going to maintain you're going to fall off the grid and I've seen this countless times and you see this and it's just like if you study success you study leadership there's a reason why like every success story is basically the same you know three to four years of absolute immersion focused developmental growth changing themselves changing the world finally getting the reward for their efforts and they go and they explode and then they tank right cheat on their wife they go on drugs they get drunk they like they just disappear because in imbalance life will only last so long so what ends up happening is that if you don't figure out a system so that you can do this forever you're going to either not do it or you do it in tank and the key now is what does self-development have to do with business so first of all self-development is not this kind of fluffy heebie-jeebie grow grow grow become better it's like the essence of life is expansion it's getting better it's stress that results in progress so the way that you build your muscle is you require stress usually external stress that rips the muscle fiber then the muscle grows a lot stronger than before it's the same thing for emotional stress right your emotional growth requires you to be complete out of your comfort zone in uncomfortable situations where you can expand your skill set same thing for intellectual growth same thing for financial growth you need to be put into situations where you are pushing the limits getting out of your comfort and figuring out how to take your leadership skills your discipline skills your confidence skills it's like what is the recipe for success in the world the recipe is very simple figure out who you are so you have to understand who you are not it's like without getting into the total and spiritual aspects of this greatness is not this objective like when it comes to the NBA you have to be objectively the best in the world to make it to you know the NBA same thing for a lot of aspects if you are the most growth oriented just you have all the best intentions and you want to be the best doctor in the world but everyone dies on your operating table right you're not going to get a job it's just not how it works but when it comes to the the real sense of greatness in life it's like you want to figure out who you are you want to figure out how you think how you learn how you process what you're good at what you're not good at what comes naturally what you struggle with you know what are your talents and what skills can you develop where are you weak do you have a level of confidence that allows you to pitch anything to go out of your comfort zone to strive to build to try new things are you afraid of failure are you skilled interpersonally are you more mathematically oriented are you good with data so the first step is figuring out who you are the second step is figuring out who you want to be which is a real question it's like what's your vision so what's your vision you know business in general has a vision but the people in the business should also have a vision it's like where do you want to be in this business or in general in 5 10 20 years what are you trying to build with your life because once you have a vision like this is where self-development comes up like a lot of people they like there's basically two classic models of going kind of into the world one is you go to school you get a degree you show people you have a certificate that says I can show up to class I can do the work when people give me the work I'm responsible which really is a way of saying I'm going to be a good employee and then you can get a job right that's one mile the other model is that I'm not really a school type of person I'll Network I'll figure out who I know who knows someone I'll get into the world get into the business World I'll just kind of figure out how to become good enough at whatever job I'm given so I can move up the ladder so most people are just reactive people they're walking into assist the other model of life is where you have a real vision for who you want to become and what you want to accomplish and then you create the type of environment externally and internally so that everything in your life is helping you get towards your vision and like in business that's simple in life it's not as simple because business is one part of life and that's what you think about like spiritually it's actually emotionally physically my relationships my community financially what I want to do with the money that I get what I want my life to be about and the people that really are extraordinarily successful in life are the people who have a vision because most people their vision is basically what I'm doing until lunchtime you know it's like how am I getting through the day and I'm just gonna you know hope that I get that raised because I've been in the system long enough but when you have a vision for your life it's like then you're waiting you're thinking you're expanding you're developing your skill set you're going to the gym you're building a marriage you're investing you're investing financially also investing in your future in your kids and you're leaving a life where you're really pushing on all fronts but because you're trying to get somewhere and you don't go home and say how do I get to the end of the night so I can link up tomorrow how do I waste away in my night so I can get to tomorrow you say every spare a minute that I have how can I utilize that to become the type of person who's capable of accomplishing the things I want to accomplish in life the business I want to build the product I want to serve the vision I have for myself and also the vision I have for other people and then self-development becomes the be law and end-all of getting to where I want to get to become who I want to become to accomplish what I want to accomplish and that's where it becomes not this fluffy side agenda where like business is one thing and making money is one thing and self-development is this like nice thing to live a happy type of life but everyone you look up to the only thing that they think about when it comes to life is how do I improve how do I become more how do I understand who I am why I am where I am in life and take that to the next level so if ever can interject I want to make two points on what you just said I think it's it's very valuable and I think our listeners should just pay attention to the way you say you say it and of course I'm going to get to the question about how a person goes about these exercises so to speak I want to just interject with two points one is you mentioned before about a lot of people taking one dimension and going all out and very focused and then all of a sudden it has the negative effect on the the rest of their life and I think and if I could just you know share my perspective on this is because when a problem is easy to fix you could take incremental steps to fix it and you're going to see the momentum a little bit a little bit a little bit and like same is like with a habit you have a bad habit it's not as bad as you know it could be you catch it in the right time you can start making small changes and all of a sudden The Habit goes away it changes when you have those four areas of life and you make smaller changes across all the four aspects of life then as much as it's it's hard all of them are hard but because you're only making small changes to each one it's manageable and you could demand that from yourself as personal development if you only focus on one dimension and you neglect three of them all of a sudden by the time you get to one of those remaining ones the problem was way bigger and now you're lost you don't even know how to start so that's just my observation from people that I work with on personal developments I wanted to mention it for our audience to understand why we don't say focus on one fix it or become better and develop it and then go to the next is the reason is because the work you have to put into development each each part of your life becomes way way harder if you neglected it for a long period of time the second part of which I want to get to is and I want to just because I wanted to be very practical for our listeners you know people understand the importance of personal development people understand sometimes they wake up they're just not happy with themselves they know they're not the best version of themselves they know they could be better and I think what you mentioned before is is so valuable and I want to make sure that our listeners paid attention to it is when you are successful in business part of how to measure success is what will an outside influencer say about my success in my company oh we made this Fortune 500 list whatever it is or we gave this large donation of for this organization whatever it is the same is with like an athlete so their success the market will save their successful or not were they able to get a job were they able to to renew a contract were they able to win the game whatever it is we forget that success in our personal life could be between you and your you yourself and the and and the close four doors you know the four worlds meaning to say that nobody else has to approve with your personal development other than yourself unless you have an outside a spouse or family member that says you know you gotta work in yourself because we can't be around you so then they could say you know where are you becoming are you better at this issue or whatever it is or a therapist but in general we're talking about a healthy person working person development nobody actually tells you that a you're improving and nobody has to validate if these improvements is the focus of where you want to be so I guess my question to you is as somebody that's teaching this on on a larger scale there's so many people that wake up in the morning I wish I could be better a better version of myself and they're confused with themselves with what do I want to be what's my vision they don't even know their own strengths and weaknesses in a sense to say you know what let me utilize some of my strengths to make my life better make the people around me better make my you know every utilize my life to its fullest potential where does it start what is the thought process a person has to go through in order to really understand where they could get with like what are their potentials are it's a great question and there are a couple stages because like everyone is their own Universe like everyone's at their own stage in this process so there are people who genuinely don't know what they want like they don't know who they are like they wake up every single day saying I wish I could live the life I know I'm supposed to live but they don't even know what that is but then there are lots of people who do know what that is but there's something holding them back like they're waiting exactly for their kids to move out they're waiting for their debt to kind of disappear they're waiting for it to be the right time they're scared of feeling they're scared of what people will think they don't have the accountability they don't have the drive there's a million reasons why people don't do it so the first is to locate what's holding you back like for some people they don't know who they are they don't know why they do what they do and it's like a lot of people spend their whole lives trying to be good enough for other people trying to get other people to like them trying to be accepted trying to be so to speak the version of themselves that they think other people want them to become but they don't even know who they are and if you really think about it it's like you spend your entire life with you so if you don't like yourself you're gonna have a miserable life right if you take back control over liking yourself which is like think about like this a lot of people they want people to like them because they think if other people like them they'll like themselves but then we end up becoming Faith because you're living your whole life just trying to be good enough for other people if you take back control and say like why am I here like who am I actually supposed to be what am I actually trying to do with my life then you start asking the right questions so the best starting point is you have to get to know yourself you have to know your strengths you have to know your weaknesses you have Noah drives you what you want you have to know what you don't want you have to know what it is that makes you you and you also have to get a real clear sense of your identity of like what do you stand for what are you trying to build with your life and it like what do you want to accomplish with your life are you wanting to just build an amazing family do you want to support your community Do you want to build an incredible business that changes the world in this specific sector do you want to add tremendous value in this you have to figure out who you are because the expression of who you are is your mission it's your purpose for someone who is obsessed and loves a like 99 out of 100 times that's going to be the thing that lights you on fire that really it's like what would you do if you didn't need to make money and that's the type of thing you can be immersed in so type of thing you can get great at it's the type of thing that you love to do and a lot of people they don't know that because they don't give themselves permission to explore so the first thing is self-awareness self-discovery understanding what drives you what you're good at what you want to do and it's like the best career possible is doing something that you love something that you're good at something that adds value to other people and something that you can get paid for right A lot of people they have one or two of those I'm really good at this I hate it or I I love it but I can't make any money doing it it's not true it's just that you haven't figured out how to make my anything in the world if you become good enough at it you can make an incredible of it and I'll you know or through all the examples but like literally you know plummet it's like how can I make a great living by being a plumber you become the best plumber you build a plumbing company you make millions of dollars a year right music is hard art is hard because it's such a competitive industry because to monetize talent to monetize creativity is almost impossible because everyone wants to do it but if you get good enough doing it you can make a living it's like I haven't worked a day in my entire life I've never had a job I've never ever like I don't do things I don't want to do because I went all in to doing what I actually wanted to do and it's like I see people who hate what they do but it's like why aren't you spending every minute that you have that you can developing yourself to become the type of person who's capable of getting the type of job that you actually want and then you have the next excuse I'm scared I'm gonna fail I'm scared of what people will think I don't have the confidence I don't have the discipline so that's why a lot of people that need coaching they need Consulting they need someone outside it's like in football and baseball and basketball and sports coaching is a very understood concept it's like someone outside of you is going to push you to become the person that you already want to become in Business and Entrepreneurship and you know professional development it's the same thing it's like there are some people who are self-motivated and once you have self-motivation you're golden right you're going to show up every single day push as hard as you can figure out every possible way to give your all every single day and you're going to rise forever because you love the process but for people who are stuck who have literally just stagnated or have been in the same place for the past 5 10 20 years and by the way that the problem is that even if you're stagnating on a fundamental level you could still be moving up just because you're doing time right you're basically you've been in the company long enough that they cannot but just movie up the ladder but you're not building your leadership skills you have no personal Vision you're not contributing well you're not doing well so one self-development becomes the foundation for the muscle building of financial experiential personal and I would say the contributing impactful part of your life you start to realize that the only way that you're going to get different results in life is if you evolve right if you do what you've always done you're going to get what you've always got right insanity is doing the same thing time and time again expecting different results which is not going to happen so if you become it's like everyone looks at people doing the things they want to do and they have to convince themselves that those people are different because otherwise they have to come face to face with a difficult truth of why am I not doing that like I want to I look up to them because I'm drawn to that vision of a future that I see myself manifesting in the animating and yet I don't really give myself permission to do the work that it takes to get there because again my freedom gonna fail I'm afraid I'm not good enough I'm afraid people are going to make fun of me the way people are going to judge me I'm afraid I'm gonna do all this work and I'm going to get there and it's not going to be as good as I thought it was or I'm afraid I'm gonna get there and I'm not gonna be able to handle it so once you go once you give yourself permission to go on the Journey of becoming all that you can become like everything changes everything and but how how do you overcome that fear obviously that fear is real it's not real why you have the fear but you do have fear so how do you overcome that so I would say there's a couple things and this is like it's if there was an answer to these types of questions it's like success is easy everyone would do it right if greatness everyone would do it so when it comes to taking the first step there's a couple things number one is recognizing a lot of fears are not real right a lot of fears are in your head it's like fear stands for false evidence appearing real so when you're on a cliff Edge you're scared you're gonna fall to your death like that's a rational fear all right but a lot of fears are just the blockages we create in our heads to stop us from getting out of our comfort zone and it is protected so like there is a level of discomfort and potential pushback if you try to achieve what you're trying to achieve but a lot of it is giving yourself permission it's making the decision it's breaking down the lifelong Vision at the steps where basically if you say I want to become a millionaire and you have five dollars in your bank account it's not only a ridiculous goal like it's a goal you're not going to start because it seems so far off it seems so impossible it's the same thing if you're 500 pounds and you can barely make it to the end of the block when you start jogging to say you know I want to run a triathlon you know it's ridiculous but if you break down your life into bite-sized goals where it's like I want to get there by the time I'm this age and I'm going to orient the next year to getting in that direction and this month is going to be directed towards the yearly goal and this week it's going to be directed towards this monthly goal and this day is going to be directed towards the weekly goal and this is what I'm doing now you Orient yourself so number one you have a lot of small check marks along the way right if you say I want to become a millionaire and you're not going to succeed until you become a millionaire that means that your threshold for saying I accomplished something is 20 years off 10 years off five years off no one's going to do that but if you can Orient your life that you're always feeling like you're making progress so at the end of the day you look back and you say look how far I came you start to recognize that progress is the essence of fulfillment and the only way you're going to feel good about yourself is if you're moving towards a better Direction the only way you're going to move better towards a better direction is number one if you have a sense of where you want to go and number two you start building the hands habit building is hard so that you need to get started the question is how do you get started and for some people with cold turkey they'll just start for other people that need accountability so they need to tell their spouse or tell their friends so that there's someone outside of them who knows what they're trying to accomplish that's going to hold them accountable they'll tell their boss I'm trying to make this much by the end of the month or by the end of the quarter or they'll get uh a friend to essentially go with them on the journey it's like exercising a lot of people they say I'm going to get in shape and then it comes time to exercise and they just don't feel like it and they're saying them again but if you have an exercise partner the reason you're going to show up to exercise is because they're waiting for you right you're not going to let your friend down because it's embarrassing to say I'm going to show up to exercise and then not so having that accountability of someone you're doing it with is essential and you can hire someone you can do it with your Phenix your spouse you can do it with a family member but the most important thing is building the mindset and building the confidence and building the identity of I'm not a loser and I'm not stagnant and I'm not average I was born for something great I was born for something amazing and this is who I am and that comes from partially a decision and partially the self-awareness component of getting like a lot of people they don't believe in themselves they don't believe they're worthy of going on the journey that they want so whenever that Vision comes up there's a part in the back of their mind that says what are you talking about but that's not you like you're one of those normal people who watches great people go after their dreams and strive for greatness and build incredible things and just become CEOs and entrepreneurs in a World Changers but like it's not like you just got the wrong card like you are never going to succeed and it's not even worth trying and where does that change it changes partially from stepping up inside of yourself and telling that voice to be quiet it's like everyone has that like small inner voice that says you're not good enough you're never gonna be good enough you never were good enough you're not special you're not different you're not unique you can't do anything stop quit don't even try like just be happy that you can pay the bills just be happy that you're surviving you know and like yes there's a lot to be thankful for if you can pay the bills but we're not here to survive we're here to fulfill our purpose we're here to thrive we're here to build something incredible with our lives and the people who are doing all the things that you want to do they believe that about themselves and there's very deep spiritual Foundation to that as an everyone was built in the image of God and that you have something incredible within you and that your job in life is to figure out what's incredible within you like what can you contribute to the world and the only way to contribute it is to manifest it within yourself first like everyone who gets paid on the public front is being paid for the years and years and years of work that they did in private when no one saw the years and years and years of working day after day towards the goal and the only reason they did that was because number one they believed that they were going to achieve their goal number two they believed they were worthy of going on the journey towards achieving their goal it's not fluffy stuff this is not the you know inspirational you can be the best you can be like this is the essence of Hardcore success if you don't have the identity and the core belief system in the mindset that it's impenetrable and no matter what comes in your way you're going to push forward you're not going to make it the only way to make it is to figure out how to start the only way to start is to build that mindset only to build that mindset is to really spend time with yourself and overcome those limiting beliefs and build that existential stamina that you're going to need to go the long term and everyone has to figure out how to do that for some people it's really just a question of reading and thinking immersing yourself in the right types of content finding mentors nowadays there's infinite free content on the internet for other people you need to find a real Mentor someone who you can talk to someone who is going to guide you answer your questions push Sheila and really help you build it and for other people they just need to build the right relationships with the right people and start surrounding themselves with positive people a lot of people if you come up with an amazing idea and there's like 25 people that will immediately tell you why that's the worst idea in the world and the people who shut you down and if you're not surrounding yourself with the right people you're never going to go anywhere because that environment is just recreating your own internal environment you're going to mirror what's being put inside of your head so yeah I just want to share like we're now close to Roshana which is the obviously the Jewish start start of the year so it's it's very timely the this episode because as we look at the year that passed and the year we're going into understanding who you want to be and what you want to achieve in the next year from yourself on the personal development side is so important and I do I do want to I do want to share like a lot of people see success by others and they forget that you know every overnight success is years in the making yeah sometimes we like I'm not talking about just success somebody that struck a rich or was very successful in the business but let's say sometimes you look at a person say you know that person made a 360 degree like I remember him as a young child look what he made with his life look how what type of family person he is look what I like type of family he set up with his spouse and so on and so forth and little did you know that these were daily struggles and grinds and focus and those you know those different things that that person put into their life where you're totally capable of doing as you mentioned sometimes you could do it on your own sometimes you need an accountability partner coach advisor a mentor so to speak but I do want to add another thing is what we that that that people don't realize that if you make as you mentioned before the yearly goals and then there's the monthly goals and then there's the weekly goals and then the daily goals and there's what I'm doing now towards that your own realize if you have those micro wins and you actually are able to achieve that like you mentioned before check it off that momentum is stronger than any type of outside influence to say you're great go on just continue going continue going which means is you as a person if you could overcome you know I've seen it I've been coaching obviously here and there are a lot of people throughout the years when a person has a bad habit or something they want to really pull away from and I say you know what let's do a 30-day plan and literally check it off every night or send me like sometimes for accountability send me a message every night that was done or going to be done whatever it is that momentum comes after day 10 after day 11. that says I'm good I'm good on my own because we're talking about healthy people we're not talking person that just can't collect themselves and they're all over the place sometimes we're talking about very not sometimes most of the time we're speaking on this episode on this show we're speaking to normal healthy people we just want they should be better and better a version of themselves which means bring out the best of what you already have we're not asking you to do Miracles with yourself we're talking about just having that Reflection Point and understanding what you want to do and where do you want to add value to yourself in the last couple of months and then create those goals for yourself and then ultimate the activity goals what will I start doing differently and ultimately achieve that success because whenever we some most of us get stuck in the outcome we want this as a outcome you don't control the outcome the outcome can only come if you do the activities and that's so many people forget because we want to do easy way out like we want to you know sometimes we want to win the lottery without even buying the lottery you know I mean like okay but even if you buy the lottery okay it's an easy one but if you want to have the outcome of winning a lottery with in in your family or just ID officer or something Halco which means we want to be we're rich because we we're happy and healthy with the life we have yeah that comes with rewiring ourselves that comes with self-awareness that comes to have to look at positive Parts in life and so on and so forth so so I very much appreciate you know the timeliness of this episode because I think if there's one person on the show which are is already thinking of ideas how they could go through this exercise it's worth I I don't know where I'm up to 160 170 episodes I think it's worth the whole effort that we put in because that person could go on to change their life then they could turn then they could change the family's life and then their neighbors then the community and then the world and even we don't have this ambitious goals of okay I'm not that capable of changing the world but your world you're for sure are in control and this is you as a part of being part of the world so I very much appreciate uh what you mentioned I guess we're because we're getting late on time where I wanted to finish this part of the conversation is how much this is speaking you know men to women women to men as far as their own people that are married obviously this is every person could work in a personal development but let's say somebody has a family and they want to start making changes in the family how much of it would you coach and you advise people they start doing on their own versus bringing their family along with the journey so to speak okay discussing these conversations with their spouses to say let's together work on this or let's together work on that so to speak what do you suggest the process after the person has you know when a person goes about creating their their goals on that if that's an amazing question that's an amazing question first of all I agree with everything you just said the timeliness is amazing because you know Rosh Hashanah is that the checking in with yourself it's the recalibrating and it's really building the visually time is the biggest gift like if can you imagine living for 100 years with no concept of a year just like living with a continuity of like a like just day after day after day the fact that we have weeks months years it breaks up life into that concrete finite way of building progress and without being able to and by the way this is the most difficult part of self-development when it comes to financial growth you can eat easily quantify your growth just look at your bank account you look at your stocks right you look at the charts and you basically say like I'm making the same thing physical growth right if you're building muscle you look at your physical Mass it's easy when it comes to self-awareness when it comes to confidence when it comes to patience when it comes to building a harmonious life it's very hard to quantify so figuring out how to become self-aware enough to quantify your growth is the key now when it comes to family it's the most difficult question because there are certain things that you can control or you can control how you show up you can control your work ethic you're discipline your confidence your self-wares you can't control other people and you can never control someone it's manipulation and it's a best and you'll never be able to fully control anyone's not worth trying and it's also just it's not ideal in any sense like you don't want to control other people you want to work with other people but the hardest thing is that you can't always control how people respond so let's say you want to grow but they don't want to grow let's say you want to start you know you're like a lot of people I work with work with different types of people so I work with entrepreneurs business owners small business owners solo business owners and that's like most of the work I do but a lot of people who are seeking to transition from their nine to five want to start something right they'll also reach out to me and their biggest question is like how do I get my wife on board right how do I get my husband on board because like right now I'm paying the bills and if I transition yes all right so it's it's not easy it's not easy and the best thing I say is that you can basically go cold turkey and quit it's not responsible especially if you have kids or you responding like if you're 25 you have no responsibility no I have no kids or no husband no kids it's the best time to be an entrepreneur right because you just learn there's no such thing as making mistakes you learn you grow when you're paying the bills and you're responsible for other people it just doesn't work that way so you have to figure out how am I going to pursue my purpose but also be responsible for other people so a lot of people that say like oh we'll do it eventually or I'll do it on my spare time nothing isn't happening so what you want to do is you want to create like a second deadline where you say I'm going to quit in six months you spend every spare minute for the next six months building so that you're not going from 100 to zero and then from zero trying to build from 100 but you're going from 100 down to like 80 in terms of how much you're focusing on your day job and then you're building up the transitions but a lot of people it's hard to get your spouse on board because if you're a Visionary and you're creative a lot of times your spouse is a lot more stable a lot more practical and they'll be like that's you know what are you talking about like just we need to send a kid to school it seems expensive I can't do this so it's not me see but here's what I'd recommend everyone's part of a very diverse and expansive infrastructure right there's a hierarchy in terms of yourself right you have a lot of pieces a lot of moving pieces to yourself you're you have yourself aware you have a Consciousness you have an intellect you have emotions you have a physical body then you move outside yourself you have relationships right you're let's say you're married let's say you have kids so that's one aspect of your environment your private Community you live in a certain place you're part of Alaska you're part of a religious Outlook that's a bigger you're part of let's say the Jewish people you're part of a certainly a political Outlook you're part of a lot of different things you're not going to control anything outside of yourself and you can barely control everything going on inside yourself so you have to start by recognizing that the best way to start making momentum is controlling what you can control learning how to control your thoughts your work ethic your effort your focus the meaning you give to things in your life then you want to surround yourself with the right types of people the people who are going to bring off the best in you Partners mentors inspirational content motivational content might explain to content growth oriented content people and ideas that will help you direct you in the right place the biggest struggle is when you're already in the middle of your life and then you want to transition you want to become moral growth of it you want to start a business you want to take your business Next Level because it's not that simple because you have a lot of people in your life who are depending on you and who already married to a certain version of you the best marriage is one where you're growing together you're thinking together you're processing together you're in a shared Mission you have a shared vision and you're helping each other grow you're constantly throwing ideas off of each other you're constantly building an internal life together and then contributing that to your family to your children to the community to your business to the culture to things like that it's not always as simple as that so what you want to do 99 out of 100 times the miscommunication between spouses is that it seems like you want different things right let's say someone wants to now be more ambitious build up the business go you know from let's say a job to a business from business to a bigger business scale expand you know become a CEO whatever it is and their spouse is going to pull back because they're like I don't want to lose you I don't want you know to lose that dependability disability so you have to communicate that like why are we here in this world like why are we married like what's the purpose of building a family like we're trying to actualize our potential we're going on a mission and when that communication is very clear then you can also answer the questions of what about the stability you know I'm doing this so we have more stability like what about our family I'm doing this so I can spend more time with our family and like you have to actually mean that like a lot of people will kind of say these things and they don't really mean that but the best possible life is where everything is harmoniously building towards a shared Vision Direction yeah I think that what you mentioned is a very very on point because we also don't realize that sometimes we neglect to share because we think it's going to become harder if we share and we don't realize that if we share and you could have another supporting person that you're pretty close by close with because obviously you're it's a spouse and you're there in the family that's getting the support of a spouse could make it so much easier whatever whatever you're working on so to speak and of course if it could be something that you're working together I think it just makes everything easier and they say never mix family and business I say that's 100 not sure if you can mix family business it's the best thing in the world the key is doing it right but if you're doing it right the spouse the spouse one is the best one because here's the thing business partners come and go because it's like friends like friends they come up we build friends because of experiences shared relationships you're in a certain place your shared values but you're moving in different places in the world you get married you go and do this it's like lifelong friends are very rare just because life is so complicated and you're going on a journey but when you're with yourself like you're committing that we're going for the rest of our lives together so the reason why businesses also sometimes fall apart in terms of Partners is because you end up getting different values or different Visions you want to go in different directions but when it comes to your spouse like you're committing that you're always going to be together on the same mission on the same vision on the same path forever your spouse is able to be any part of your mission in life financially they are 100 trustworthy supportive wanting you to succeed this you know regardless of whether you have a shared bacon cat or different bacon counts it's so simple and it was like when I wrote my first book like my wife edited the entire book like around there's really shares every email to show this every Saturday night I would write a chapter she'd edited it and we basically she edited the whole thing again like we basically worked every single week to build something that we're trying to contribute to the world and it it changed the quality of the work it changed the quality of our marriage or change the quality of the mission it's like there's nothing as amazing as going on a shared Mission but it requires communication it requires shared values it requires both of you understanding each other's concerns and not kind of pulling away and hiding the side of you that you don't think they're going to accept but building that chain on that bridge so that you can build what a marriage is supposed to be which is two individuals that maintain their individuality that build something transcended and unified together and then expand that into a family and then contribute to the world in your community and all the things you want to do let me adjust to getting a little bit late on time I think we're going close to an hour now as far as if people want to reach out to learn more what you do how you could help out business owners entrepreneurs and people in general like where what's the best way people can find you so the best place is my website.com and in terms of what I can do in terms of how I can help so there's a lot of different things that I do there's obviously the content the lectures there's the book there's the self-mastery course which is there to really help leaders become better leaders become more self-aware build your identity build your confidence build your vision and really build the right environment and then there's obviously the speaking component that they have to speak in your community for your company things like that the coaching I'm building a mastermind soon in terms of group coaching in the community but for now there's a one-on-one coach in which is really I would say the unique component of the coaching program is that it's very multi-dimensional right so there's a lot of different coaches like if you go in the business coaching world there's people who do you know marketing and then their sales and then there's brand building and then there's mindset coaching and Leadership coaching so my coaching program is is really all of those and it's also built to be a lot more than just the coaching like there's basically I would say four components of coaching one is the therapy component of allowing the client to really open up and be understood and to share their story and like what they're trying to accomplish who they are there's a coaching component which is like directed questioning and really someone pushing you and helping you accomplish your goals and helping you become more self-aware helping you Target and keeping you accountable and really pushing you on and cheering you on there's the Consulting component of someone who's accomplished what you're trying to accomplish and can answer your questions right a lot of coaches they haven't done anything themselves in the things that you're trying to accomplish they're just able to kind of Bring Out The Best of You right so they can't answer your questions they can just give you questions got it so the consultant defined then there's the mentorship element of someone who can really guide you and inspire you and kind of keep you accountable in a higher level way as opposed to just like I'm scared of showing up and having done the work there's the really shared Mission element of when I take on a client like my goal is really to help them accomplish the goals at the highest level yeah so we'll link up in the show notes at www.pkgroup.com podcast we'll put a link to your website and obviously I encourage people to check out the content and ultimately the services you are able to offer because this is a very important topic and there's so much you know expansion to what we have discussed about time flies by too quickly when you have these in-depth conversations let's close with the four rapid fire questions are you ready I'm ready number one a book that changed your life it's a book that changed my life so I'll save the universal book that changed my life was back when I was 17 seven habits apparently successful people Stephen Curry that's an all-time classic yeah in terms of Torah I would say besides for you know I'm one of those people who left every area of Terror but maybe the towns definitely my mind beautiful number two a piece of advice you got that you'll never forget so I would say it's back to that conversation I shared with you which is that financial success is enough it really is nothing but all money does is it allows you to do what you want to do so money just brings out you and back when I was trying to build my vision the advice I got was that if you want to do this well you need to become financially independent but not because money is imported but because what money enables you to accomplish is very important number three anything you wish you could go back and do differently so I'm the type of person who doesn't live that way I don't really have regrets but I would say to just here's what I would say I would say learn more learn more it's something I definitely try to live by now but it's the foundation of everything you can always buy a new house time is precious and ideas are worth more than you can imagine and last and final question what's really a bucket list to achieve bucket list to achieve is to synthesize a few different models of leadership I would say the Russia Shiva model and the classic Yoshida system with the global impact of your Jonathan sacks with the public speaking and Community Building of Tony Robbins Charlie Rarity type of thing like that and then the thought leadership of Jordan Peterson and the brand building and monetizing monetization element of Bernard burchard oh wow that's a good bucket list thank you so much for joining us I know your time is valuable that is why the name of our listeners will forever be grateful for sharing the summer time with us today it's been a blast pleasure is all mine and the Felix Mutual is the actual blast thanks [Music]