MindFlex - Learning to Float: G-d's Unconditional Embrace - Rabbi Shmuel Braun

happiness very often in many many branches of literature and philosophy and self-help we speak about a return to childhood and in fact as diverse people as william wordsworth and bob marley lamented the loss of happiness from childhood william wordsworth begins his ode and intimations of immortality from recollections of early childhood he begins as follows there was a time when meadow grove and stream the earth and every common sight to me did seem appareled in celestial light the glory and the freshness of a dream as a child the whole world is glorious and fresh it is not now as it hath been of your turn wheresoever i may by night or day the things which i have seen i can now see no more or as bob marley put it that there was a time when he was a child and as a child he happiness was there a while but then from one me one day it slipped one day come back i say because if you don't come back i've gotta go looking for happiness and what then happens is this seemingly non-ending frustrating pursuit of happiness which according to the american founding fathers is an inalienable right for us to pursue happiness the question is not whether it's a right but whether it's practical and indeed the sages when we speak about the practicality of pursuing happiness or regaining that child-like happiness the sages say about the month of adar that we're blessing that we're entering now the misha nichnas other marbin those that come into the month of adar have to increase their joy marbin they have to increase their joy which seems to say that there's the same joy that we're supposed to always have because again we find in our sources mitzvah godola it's a great mitzvah to be joyous always i don't know how possible it is but seemingly but it's a mitzvah to always be joyous and the sages come and say it on the month of adar marbemba that same joy that we are supposed to always have in the month of adar we have to increase that joy so first of all like i said we have to understand what is this joy that so many great minds and artists and philosophers have declared to be so elusive that we're being told that not only do we always have to have it somehow not only do we always have to learn how to tap into it always but in the month of adar for some reason that same joy not quantitatively i'm sorry not qualitatively but quantitatively we have to increase qualitatively it's the same joy as always as mitzvah gadolia's basim khatomit which we have to understand how we supposed to have the kind of quality of joy always that elusive joy seemingly but the month of adar quantitatively it has to be increased and rashi the famous commentator on the talmud explains why what is it about the month of adar that this same perennial joy has to be increased so rashi says because you may nissim hayuli israel it was a month of tremendous miracles the jewish people at tremendous miracles we know the holiday of purim the miracle on the holiday of purim happened in the month of adar and because there were these miracles so that's why we have to be even more joyous the question is as the holy books asks what do you mean if miracles somehow was an impetus is a reason for joy so why the month of adar what about the month of nisan which with all the miracles of pesach or kislev hanukkah there are other months where seemingly hashem did miracles for us what is it about the miracles of adar that those miracles are actually saying you know i'm simply you know we have to be even more joyous because of the miracles of the month of adar what was so special about those miracles and in fact we seem to find from the talmud the very opposite that the miracles and the month of adar were not seemingly as great as some of the other miracles that god performed for us for in fact that's the reason that on the holiday of purim it's one of the only holidays that we don't say hallel we don't say hale we don't say the blessing the special prayers that we say to god the praise that we say to god of halal when god does miracles for us we don't say halal purim and there are different reasons given in the gemara and the talmud and one of them is because the redemption of purim wasn't a national redemption like passover or even hanukkah that somehow our nation got on top again we were still in shushan we were still slaves to achashverse we were still part of that whole kingdom it wasn't a complete miracle that got rid of pharaoh or got rid of the assyrians the greeks whatever we were still subjects of akheros of the persian empire so why would those miracles be more of a reason rashi is saying that's why you have to be basimbh and again it's the same simcha the same joy that somehow we have to attain or at least live with at some level the entire year but the month of adar it has to be quantitatively increased why because of these miracles there's a teaching from the holier belavia sikh of berdychev which is very short and very sweet and i think really is the bottom line of the key to what we're discussing what we're learning about tonight and i believe it's in beduciver says you know why the month of adar is such a joyous month because the word in hebrew adar is actually aleph dar. aleph that's how you spell the word aleph the one of course represents god dar means that he lives with us he dwells with us hashem dwells with us and the biddichiver goes on to explain in kadusa slavia and in his great book at great length that the holiday of purim is dhafka that it was in shushan it wasn't like the destruction of egypt or the destruction of an empire it was in exile aleph dar hashem dwells with us and that's somehow the bidichiver says that's where real joy has to come from not a conditional or a temporary joy but a joy that comes from aleph dar to know that god dwells with us so i want to tell you a story to explain what the badichiva was saying it's a story of a great a great sadhaka lithuanian literacy sadiq by the name of labromski if you know in the early years of communism after the revolution in russia most rabbis most religious leaders ran away they knew that under communists they wouldn't be able to have their religion flourish but the lubavitcher rebbe told all his followers to stay and there were some rabbis some great rabbis that also the mysterious nephesh with tremendous self-sacrifice decided to stay in russia to try to promulgate judaism as much as possible so one of them was the great vicerska labramski labramski was a student of the great rupheim salvatrik he is the author of the tremendous work has escalated he's one of the great minds that there were in the beginning of the 20th century and here berkhatski lebronski stayed in russia and was sent to siberia it's actually very miraculous a very long story he himself was usually a very weak um uh body like his his situation like he wasn't a strong person and yet he never got sick he was a tremendous i think for a year two years three years a long time he was in siberia with very little clothing and was freezing and he never got sick while he was there but there's a story that he's told used to tell over that a realization that happened to him while he was there in siberia and that is you know when he was there in siberia and not just the cold but the slave labor we can't even imagine those kind of circumstances but when he was there in siberia at some point he was completely overcome with despair we can't even imagine and specifically in this despair he realized that he can't like forget about his actual physical life the life that he defines as his own but even in his spiritual life his connection with hashem what's he able to do for hashem he doesn't have to fill in with him i know sits as maybe a torn but he can't daven the way he's supposed to he can't learn torah he doesn't have books with him so he's like what am i going to do like what's my relationship with god like from this place and he became completely despaired like my life is literally meaningless what's my life worth i'm not able to do anything i want i'm a prisoner who knows how long this is going to take and even when it comes to serving god i don't have books with me i can't read i can't concentrate we all know that feeling sometimes where it's like what am i accomplishing i'm not being productive i'm not able to do anything and he was in siberia feeling this and he fell asleep or maybe it was in the morning but when he woke up and he had this thought in a very deep way he right away said we know that a jew the first thing you say when you wake up in the morning that i thank you god that you return my soul with compassion now the simple translation of that is that your faithfulness the fact that you faithfully return my soul back to me rob is great you're extremely faithful i could rely on you god that you return my soul fresh to me each morning lebronski sitting there in siberia and some hell hole he thought of the following he thought of this idea this is the idea that he thought of this is what came to him at that moment he thought of the idea means is so great the mitzvah that comes from resting within you god from having true faith which we know a moon is not just a declaration something you write in a piece of paper that you believe in and moon is a state of mind it's a state of being emunah is an all encompassing [Music] consciousness and awareness of god's presence it's not just some that i happen to believe in god's existence it's a mitzvah it's one of the six constant mitzvahs it's a mitzvah to me this it's a constant mitzvah in berkhatska labramski all of a sudden it hit him while he was a prisoner there in siberia that how great is your mitzvah muna that when it comes to all other mitzvahs you need certain objects you need certain things to rely on but when it comes to the mitzvah any time any circumstance any time you're able to do that mitzvah you're fulfilling and you're having vacuous and connection to hashem with having that ammuna with knowing that truth of god being the ultimate hamakom we know that one of god's names is the place and a muna means situating yourself within that place of god within that peace of god that peace that transcends understanding that transcends what we're able to usually appreciate with our regular five senses you know with all due respect to our forefathers when they spoke about the pursuit of happiness and what bob marley is being so cynical about when he says that if you don't come back i've got to go looking for happiness what what our forefathers got wrong when it came to this idea of trying to pursue happiness there's a couple of things first of all number one that assumes that happiness is something that can be achieved outside of myself you see what jessica lebronski understood that day is that there's a truth to being able to connect to god that's so inward that's so internal to who i am that i don't need outer even things as holy as objects and and all of our religion is based on objects but this ultimate that pursuit of happiness means i have to go to somewhere outside of myself but if i understand that within me is god within me is that ability to connect hashem you know by the way parenthetically they say that when the previous lubavitch rebrayats heard this idea that vichaska labramski said in siberia he said it was worth it for him to be all that time in siberia just so you should be able to have this their hair this deep understanding and your behavior lebronski heard that the said that he said no it wasn't it wasn't worth the time there so so they had an argument whether it was actually worth it for him to be there to to be able to come with this understanding but but what's the idea in this understanding that it's not something that's something outside of you the problem with the pursuit of happiness is that we could we confuse entertainment with happiness entertainment means to be enthralled to be excited that something outside of myself is going to make me happy almost like a drug like there's going to be something outside of me that's going to cause me to feel a different way real happiness real happiness comes from that constant being able to connect to hashem which knows that it's within me i don't need an object outside of myself and because the other problem with the pursuit of happiness is not just that it's outside of me that i feel like i have to pursue something i have to pursue it's outside of me and i don't have it now i can't access now now i can't be simbra you know they say life is what goes by while you're waiting for things to happen and if we'd only stop pursuing happiness we'd really enjoy life masters of the mind of all backgrounds and traditions explained that real peace joy and love has to be here now in every here and now and now that's not always easy it doesn't mean one is always going to be a good mood happiness doesn't mean always being in a good mood i know my wife is planning on talking about that more tomorrow but when we say mitsuba goddaily it's a big mitzvah to always be joyous it doesn't mean to always be in a good mood that's impossible unless you like you know like jack nicholson and you know batman you permanently get your that's not but that's also not a good mood obviously you have a dance with the devil in the pale moonlight it doesn't mean always being in a good mood it knows being able to rest in the ultimate truth of the moon of hashem mitzvah goddard is the idea because i know that there's no place i have to go that it's up to me you know because the other problem with the idea of the pursuit of happiness besides that i have to pursue something that i can't have it now it's almost like kids in the back of a car always saying you know you're almost there yet and then there's also they do that has to be outside of myself and to have to be entertained something outside me has to make me happy but deeper than that most important it means it's not up to me it's not up to me to make myself happy now but if it's not a good mood and it has to be something that's always within me and is up to me to choose my own attitude because happiness is a state of mind what does that mean what was that deep idea that he finally understood that really a child understands a child understands that naturally which is why we always try to go back to that to that state that that innocence of childhood and to know what happiness is in that place so i want to read to you a poem from the poet denise levitov it's a poem called the evowel as swimmers dare to lie face to the sky and water bears them as hawks rest upon air and air sustains them so would i learn to attain free fall and float into creator spirit deep embrace knowing no effort earns that all surrounding grace as swimmers dare to lie face to the sky and water bears them as hawks rest upon air and air sustains them so would i learn to attain free fall and float into creator spirits deep embrace knowing no effort earns that all surrounding grace because you understand to be a person of god means to know how to rest within god and know that that's ultimate joy within us there's always going to be this cauldron of constant moods and there are times when a person when depression could be overbearing sometimes people need to take medicine i mean it could be a physiological thing depression is we try as hard as we can to battle depression but sometimes you know circumstances life doesn't allow us inside who we are to be happy to be what people would call happy but a swim is there to lie face back to the sky what children know how to do is relax within the now within whatever is as much as possible when possible flowed into creator spirit's deep embrace you see what the altar ebby explains in tonion chapter 33 which is the ultimate moon of hasidis in tanya chapter 33 the aldreb explains that what ultimate happiness comes from is being able to rest in god is being able to know that whatever might be going on inside me but if i could allow myself to melt like the ray of the sun before it leaves the sun when it's still within the sun if i could allow myself to be within god and again obviously this isn't something i could feel with my body we're not on that level want us to be an extremely high level but if i could allow myself with my ammuna with my faith no matter what's happening to know that i am within hashem you see the miracle of purim the miracle of purim is that it was in shushan akhashverish was still king we have this weird thinking that to be able to rest in god it's like that like we said that some people spend their whole life what goes by while you're waiting for things to happen some people think that connecting to god is something you wait to happen it has to happen to you i have to be inspired it's like the same thing like pursuing happiness pursuing god as something outside myself when to learn to attain free fall and float into creator spirits deep embrace knowing no efforts no effort earns that all surrounding grace and the altruist says in tanya chapter the true faith that we received from our forefathers is to know that hashem is always hugging you and it what does that feel like it feels like whatever breath you're taking right now it means to believe that you're within god's infinite light like the ray of the sun is in the sun like a drop in the ocean your being is part of hashem and so as long as happiness is something that we feel that's going on inside of us that we have to always make happen inside of us that that's what happiness is so sometimes we'll be able to get into a good mood but sometimes we won't be able to get into a good mood and that's why fascinatingly in judaism happiness is not something subjective you know the very end of has four parts and the first one called is about daily life about how to live one's daily life the daily laws etc the very last allah is actually about purim cotton it's when purim comes out in a leap year but the basically the last law discusses whether one should have a meal one should celebrate the the first purim and the last sentence in s one of good heart is always celebrating meaning it's in our stomach to have a good heart always be celebrating how could jews we know what our history has been like and we know how everybody every human being's life is like with ups and downs how could we be told to always be celebrating how could we be told to always be happy so the kid says that if you look at the first sentence of the first sentence of the last sentences you should always be celebrating to always be happy says there's two tamids what's the very beginning of shivisi hashem le neg di tamid i set god before me tamid always you could have the toevlade mishta tamid if you have the shivisi hashem the negdytamid hashem the negritum it is the the jew knows that all of life is forever lived in the sight of god that really all of judaism and all of torah amidst us and everything that we do is about knowing the consciousness and awareness that we're within god and with mr thomas if my happiness is based on something external that i need to pursue that's not up to me if it's not based on the muna that i'm within god's all-surrounding embrace then it can't be tommy and that doesn't mean that one is again going to be happy it could be one is feeling very depressed but this is a life-saving thing i know for myself times that i wasn't able not only not to be happy when i was in in the deepest pits of sadness but to know that there's something deeper than what i'm feeling inside of me there's something eternal and omnipresent that i'm allowed that i could just be a part of and if you might ask that that's objectivity how do you how do you what if i can't relate to it so i want to tell you one more story and with this i'm going to finish i was learning in the brisk yeshiva and his son rebel was my magachi or he was my teacher at the time and at the time i was going through a very difficult thing in my life a very challenging thing and i didn't show up to yeshiva for a couple of days and i was really sad i couldn't cheer myself up and i read this book this hasidic book that hasidic book all these different hasidic books that would try to hopefully get me into a better mood and then i met revivals of angus until you should be well or velvet cell of a chick and he's a person who knew and knows what his life in his life would have meant to suffer and yes man i told him i'm having a hard time and he said to me and kids don't try this at home you have to be a salvation if you know the salvation family they're like the ultimate intellectual you know [Music] uh i mean they have emotions there but but that they you have to know the family but he said to me with ultimate coldness i'm telling you with coldness with clarity with objectivity with not a sense of empathy not a single draw that's what i'm saying don't try this at home with your kids you have to know when you could do this but i'll never forget he looked at me in the eye and he said without a drop of empathy the gemara says whatever god does is for the best does jesus it's an obligation to believe what do you what do you cry the gemara says god says whatever does he's hugging you he's loving you it means is the it's an obligation to believe and he walked away and that helped me it helped me because the objective truth of torah is not based on what's going inside of us if happiness is going to have to be based on what's going on inside of us so a lot of times we're not going to be able to be basim it rebligmadichev is saying the secret of other is the alev dar it's a it's an obligation to believe that you're always within god's presence hashem the negative where you are as the center of the earth where you are when you dive in esre nobody is allowed to walk in front of you the greatest todd they can't walk in front of you because god is there with you the miracles of of other of purim show that no matter what shushan you're going through it's a geographical shush and an existential no matter what the shushan is you have to know that god is there with you rabbi that's the faith of what it means to be a jew that immuno and that moon is our perennial joy it's the joy to know that no matter what i'm feeling inside there's something greater and bigger god that i'm a part of and you know how you access it freefall emunah which the sperm say which is feminine god's ms hashem's masculine truth his infinite truth is ms hashem ali kim emes and emun is to be the feminine to allow yourself to open up to that to be like the altar but says in tandem chapter 33 to have that joy of knowing that really that only hashem exists and the miracle of purim the month of other is quantitatively more where hashem shows that no matter the shushan no matter the challenges whether it's a pandemic whether it's a shushan hashem is with us that's the miracle of perm the miracle of peace miracle of hanukkah we're hoping for the miracle of mashiach that's going to be when hashem a revealed way the whole world will see hashem's majesty and then the whole world will be joyous with god's kingship but right now in the meantime what purim teaches us what this month teaches us is to know that no matter what shushan you're in with siberia whatever circumstances are happening inside with emunah with that feminine capability of opening oneself up to the ms the truth of god's truth to allow oneself to know that hashem is within you and you are within hashem and have free fall and have true faith in that that is the source of all simcha that objective truth you have to believe it you have to believe you are within hashem it's not up to what you're feeling inside that objective truth of a mitzvah of a black gemara of learning torah to know that hashem is in that mamish doesn't matter what you feel inside that's how we jews have survived for all the years like king david says in tillman 119 lulay cerros we would lose ourselves in our suffering because the the objective truth of torah missus is to know the joy that hashem is always with us and we're always within hashem and no matter what we're actually feeling in our emotions that awareness that consciousness should embrace us always