Preparing Shabbos With Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky (Ep. 208)

hi this is D lowski and welcome to the RAB olowski show whether you're watching with our friends over at tour anytime whever you watch or listen to your podcast as always it's exciting to have you along now you may have noticed that there is a slight change from my past um my past podcast and that is the return of the re owski mug I haven't had one of these in a long time also I'm wearing my schlock rock t-shirt in case you didn't notice that Lenny Solomon gave me and uh I'll tell you why because um you know when uh Lenny and I go back 40 years and um more probably more like 45 years and uh uh you know he was on the show and uh and he says you know I'm going to write you a theme song and I cannot tell you how many times people have pointed out how catchy it is I've met people who use it as their ringtone it's really unbelievable thing and you know my mother when I would start complaining about something she used to say to me oh that's going to be your new theme song now I can say no I have my own theme song how many people have their own theme song so I really you know I wanted to give a shout out to Lenny uh so what what's the occasion now it's because actually uh you know on my uh my podcast about the uh the god situation he left a comment and so of course I think about you all the time Lenny but uh I just want to take this opportunity to be mck your Tove uh for this unbelievable thing that for our friendship for many years and especially for this theme song but uh I am supposed to be doing this more formally so let me just uh take out my tie there that's great and slip on my jacket so we're able to maintain some sort of a presence there you go now I look like the father from Arthur anyway but uh deep cut all right so uh we're in the middle of a series well part two of a series about chabas and we mentioned this last time there number of gulum who said that what we should be working on besides our and our amuna during this time is focusing on sh shabas and try to shabas so what I want to talk about today is the concept of is to prepare for shabas six days you work and then you have shabas so that there has to be a certain amount of preparation that goes into shabas so that uh rested on the seventh day right which makes it imply as if he was working on the seventh day and so Rashi says that you know can do what a person can't do he can go right up until the moment of chabas and so that it looks to the untrained eye as though he is um he's working on chabas but of course he's not and uh it's it's UT but we can't do that and therefore we need time to prepare for chabas and then we need time to stop preparing for chabas okay so there's a Mitzvah of to shabas where we're supposed to add from the weekday to chabas um I have been caught in this quandry where when I'm running late and I go to a particular late minion and I realized there's still daving Min after what happened to to shabas because of I'm ding that means that it's Friday and uh and uh how can I then add on to shabas it's it's a problem but we have a Mitzvah to be able to add on from to shabas and we need a a time to prepare for shabas we are supposed to be shabas and the preparation is part of that now things have changed times have changed yeah uh time was that you would have to grind the wheat sift the flour needed in order to make a piece of bread you didn't have the option of going to the bakery now it's brought down that even today where there are bakeries unless you're in a case of great need one should ideally go and uh make their own kalas and uh some people find it overwhelming and uh it's uh it's interesting interesting m in the acon where it says it's a Mitzvah to uh make bread and take off kala on Arab chabas but in order to take off kala you have to make enough kalas that you can take off kala and unless you're a large family if you make that many kalas you're not going to end up using them up so is it better to make a half portion and not take off kala and have fresh bread on uh Friday going into chabas or is it better to make a larger uh dough take off kala and then freeze half of them for next week I'm not here to be M I'm just pointing out the fact that um as much as we can be chabas we should now times have changed it is not unusual to have families where both parents work and uh to be able to have that time to be able to make shabas is very hard that's the reason these Jewish Publications exist is to make you feel bad and inadequate so they tell these stories of these women I find the important thing is you know on Friday I get up about 4 o'clock and I put this up and I set that up and I do this and I do that you know and then you know um uh you know and uh then I can go to work and I come back and I have everything more or less set up okay but those of us who are not mutants and have been sent to Professor Xavier's Academy from mutants and have that kind of strength uh to be able to do these kind of things as ordinary folk yeah um we end up needing to be able to cut Corners yeah some people cut Corners just because they're not interested that's not of course the r audience we're all interested you know but uh there are certain people just uh can't be bothered now to be fair it's not there are some people it's not that they can't be bothered they just feel overwhelmed we we get overwhelmed very easily we a generation that gets overwhelmed thinking about what we have to do in past Generations they didn't because if you didn't do it then you starve to death you know so you just have to you know pull yourself together and and you know get done what you have to get done you didn't have the option to go out to the takeout place and uh and buy takeout food today there's so many so many takeout places so much takeout food you know that uh you know to to do something yourself is like really amazing my kids when they go to America they go to gorot this to them is like uh is like Disneyland you know I mean they go just to watch the attraction and they come home and they tell me ABA you can buy a frozen cookie sheet with the cookies already on it and you just put it in the oven and they say oh I baked cookies and my kids think that's so funny because we living in they have to sift the flour and set everything up say I made cookies and another kid said yeah and they have a a bag of cut up vegetables and it comes with a little envelope of spices and you put this into a pot with water and you boil it up and you say look I made vegetable soup and the other kid says I don't know why they don't include the water but okay listen these are the people who are proactive because you work in there and you go past the sushi counter into the appetizing counter into the prepared you know um uh sandwich counter and then you first come to the takeout section you know and you got you know six different types of uh schnitzel you know and you got eight different types of rice and 12 different types of potatoes that you know gosh to to sit down and make something yourself you have to really be very proactive you know um I live here at C and things have really gotten better really do they they get better with every passing GE you know um when I first came here um the only soda they had was either cocacola or Tempo Tempo Cola was there just to show you that is relies are so tough they don't need soda that tastes good and they only came in these heavy bottles that you had to return the bottles and they weighed a ton and you had to take the bottles and put them into a little plastic Sal which Americans never figured out to wrap the rag around it like Israelis so by the time you carried it home the sharp plastic it dug into your hand and you had to have it surgically removed just to get the basket off and that's all there was there was no diet soda there was no other types of soda you know if you wanted Selsa you bought one of those little Selsa makers with the bonim and the gas things and you make them you know so okay today there's so much stuff it's it's it's nothing compared to what it was Americans used to come here and bring toilet paper you you only had this like you know blue sandpaper that they had that was uh unbelievable I came to St in 1973 to this day I can't figure it out the napkins were made out of wax paper and you just kept wiping your hands nothing came off I guess this way you could use them again you know rinse them off and just keep putting out the same napkin you know but um you know there was uh you know today it's it's so much but well for many years when I lived here if you wanted to have KL you know three times a year there's a minute to eat KP and that's Aram Kipper and and and shaba you had to make it yourself couldn't buy KP yeah was a major thing you know I grew up in America whoever made kpp it never even occurred to you make KP so we had to if you wanted KP make your own K yeah now there a whole bunch of takeout places they make k for you you know you can pick up you know it's only about $3 a kple and you can take them home and but they're only sold at the holidays you know in America you can always buy crep Lo no crep loocks you wanted you have to make it yourself yeah um there are no prune hin that's when I was growing up there was only two type of hitash prune and mun the whole purpose of mun was to trick you it was like a per trick you would bite into it thinking it was prune and you realize it was poppy seed and you go ah and then you would take a prune one yeah but they don't have them here so if you want prun hamit you have to make it yourself was one year I couldn't even get the lva I had to make my own prune filling yeah just to do it and the problem is you only put a little bit in and so you're left with this giant container because it's no way to make like just two prunes so you end up doing a lot of things yourself but uh but in America gosh and then you come to the bakery aisle why would anybody bake look at how much stuff they have over there yeah and and and everything's then you go to the fresh meat meat you know and and you want to you want to make a roast and the roast is already wrapped up and spiced and set for you Etc you just pop it in the oven so much convenience so many so many things are there for you a guy told me that he when he uh when he was taking a shom Bas course they said that you should compliment your wife on the takeout place that she chose the idea being that of course she's not going to make it herself you know so there are obviously two types of people in the world there are there are those people and then there are the people who write these recipe sections and these from you know magazines um why would anybody in their right mind do any of these things you can go buy anything you want but the idea is that you need to be shabis in the preparation and whatever that means and everyone should do it themselves as much as possible yeah um the uh the fact is that um um the gamarra brings stories of amim who had many aim but they would do the shabas preparation themselves whether it was salting the fish or whether it was roasting the meat or or setting up the candles what making the fire whatever it was they did it themselves they wanted to have a hand in the preparation um this is an early announcement I I can't tell you for sure but there's an outside chance that we're going to be making a uh a pesak program here in ell we're we're we're working on it right somebody's working on it yeah and uh I I've always had a Chuka to uh to do my own pesak program because unfortunately many pesak programs are vacations that take place during pesak but they're not a pesak program you know so I was once at a hotel um and uh um er P so they had the list of activities you know so there was swimming and there was boating and there was Sports and uh and uh there was uh napkin folding in front of the in front of the uh dining room and also I was giving a Shear scullin residence they threw that into it was another one of the options yeah and then afterwards I went into the kitchen to make my SATA plate why because I can't speak for every hotel but they put out on your table a say the plate with you know few different things but you know how much Roman lettuce you eat if you are you using that for M using that for K I mean in my house we make up the kazas beforehand we you know so uh so I um I go into uh I go into the kitchen I get permission and I'm sitting there as they're washing the lettuce you know was watching the lettuce and I'm sitting there with my little colorcoded chart and I'm making up my stalks and my leaves and putting them into little plastic bags the way that I do at home so that when we go to the Seda I've got all my Mara I don't know what everybody else does you know I mean one year before I figured this out I was at a hotel and I had to keep telling them bring out more bring out more bring out more they they were shocked they didn't know what I was doing you know you have to you have to have this year so I always said if I had a pesak program every PES would be making your SATA plate everybody because the preparation itself is part of what makes PES exciting I was I I I've told this story in the past I was teaching in a Hebrew school the barbat Mitzvah class and uh the barbat Mitzvah class uh in a Hebrew school is very similar to the story they tell about this priest and r by and minister in the city who got together to discuss problems that affected you know the community and and their places of worship so uh the priest chose to share that in the church we have a problem we have bats in the belfrey and we don't know how to get rid of them and the minister says yeah we have a problem too we have church mice and I don't know how to get rid of them the rabbi said I'll tell you the truth we had pigeons in the Attic but I got rid of them he says how says I chased them on to the shore I gave them a Mitzvah they flew away and never came back it's a bit of joke but so that was my class as soon as a kid would get a bar about Mitzvah they were out and I never saw them again so you know by the time PES came around it was like a Agatha Christi's 10 Little Indians you're just watching people disappear you know so um uh so The Sisterhood contacted me before pesak and said how much uh how many kids do you have so we know how much stuff to give you for the model Seder now I don't know if you've ever been to a model seder yeah model seder is where you it's good for like second or third grade you know you bring the little kids together you know and one of them plays the grandfather he sits in the front he's running the Seda one plays the little kid it's really typ casting you know and they put out matah and they put out grape juice and they put out some lettuce leaves and they put out some gilter fish and they put out some eggs and they make a you know a model Sor they sing the songs and go through it now that's probably fun when you're in second grade third grade these kids are already in seventh grade I'm going to sit here and do a model SATA with them so I said to The Sisterhood uh I have a request as much money as you would have spent give me that money I want to do something different with them pesak related okay so they show up all the other classes are having their model sedor they said Hey where's our model sedor I said we're doing something different go to the bathroom and wash your hands with soap and they came back and I said okay we're going to make es they said oh doesn't it come in those little envelopes I said no this is how you make koses okay every two kids had a gr grater grade up the Apple you know chop up the nuts had the spices everyone's going to make their own own kosas and take it home H they were so excited they never did this in their life I said okay now we're going to grade up the horseradish so I thought it comes in a jar nope you're going to learn something today give everyone a piece of o r they start grinding it and everyone whoever did this knows how it works you you start crying you wait till there's enough you stick it in your brother's face you know I me like yeah okay I brought in a little Broiler we broiled the the the the bones we broiled the eggs you know and we washed the lettuce yeah and kids who were not interested in anything we did in class suddenly came to life because they were preparing for their seder it was something real I said and if I ever ran a pesak program that would be air of pesak we'd have lots of wash lettuce and lots of charts and lots of apples and lots of graters and everybody make your make the kosas however you make your kosas do your things however you do it and everyone's gonna get ready for PES there was one year first year I was married I remember first year I was married I was in her Jo and my wife's due date was on uh s night now again this was our first kid so I didn't know that my wife uh is always late um not just giving birth but but also giving birth we didn't know she could be three weeks late you know but my father's like oh my God she'll go into labor and you you can't make p he put us into a hotel this is my first time I had ever gone to a hotel for we my father always made the Seda we always helped to make it you know do everything together first year I was away for pesak and uh we went a hotel P we're walking around watching Everybody prepare and I had an empty feeling inside of me PES you're supposed to be making PES you're wandering around like this is a vacation you what are you doing this there's there's an excitement to a p my kids more or less have picked it up from me you know to the point that some of them want to take some of my s plate preparations I'll not going to give it to them they say oh you want me to make nope want to make them out nope I'll let people measure out the uh the cazum of the lettuce you know I mean I'll let them do that you know so uh you know that's there's no creativity to that but this actually when you have to make the little chant make sure that you cover it exactly with the right thing you know that's exciting I see people just drop down leaves what are you doing get it just right but uh there's an excitement to that preparation the setting the table bringing out the PES setting everything up this this there's such an excitement and adventure to it how how could how could anybody uh not be thrilled by that that's what ER shabas is supposed to be that same sense of excitement and enthusiasm how we're making it how we're doing it yeah I don't know what it is I do know what it is you ever see people who like um you know bottle all Friday morning you know and then I'm not talking about people who are in Yeshiva or people are working like you know they're supposed to be making shabas and then suddenly they go oh my gosh we've only got four hours left you know and then they go into manic mode yeah what what what is that what is that so okay the answer is some people work better under pressure you know when when they have lots of time I I can relate to that you know when I was in school they used to give you a term paper they would have signed it in November I'd right away take my books from the library on the subject leave it on the spare bed in my room and then Sunday night in June I suddenly realize oh my gosh it's duude tomorrow and I open a the books and try to cram you know see how much I could read about Napoleon in 4 hours and then sit at the typewriter and start typing and I'm so tired so they used to have this thing I don't know if it's still on the mar called No do they're basically caffeine pills you know the problem is it only wakes up your mind your body is still asleep so you're like uh we got to type faster or we're never going to get this done you know and your body doesn't listen because it's sleeping you're like this is not working and my father at some point would poke his head in around 3:00 in the morning says why do you leave everything at the last minute I work better under pressure there's some people like that but what ends up happening is that chabas instead of uh it being something uh that you can appreciate becomes this craziness people banging on the bathroom door I need a shower I need a shower I have eight girls and uh even some of my boys have this philos ophy but certainly the girls that if you take your shower as close to shabas as possible you'll stay clean longer I don't really think the extra hour in the context of 25 hours is going to make that much of a difference but they they all wait till the last minute to shower to get things done so when I was a b sometimes I would you know um be spending shabas by uh old people I realize now they're probably my age but to to my mind they were maybe 150 but probably probably in their 60s and you'd go into their house and the whole house is clean and everything is set and the chilling on the BL and you know everything's set up the table set the father is home from Mikvah he's sitting in his chair you know barara sedra the the mother is or the grandmother say sitting at the sitting at the table saying herum and you come in and you're like wow so calm here say would you like would you like a piece of cake a cup of tea you have something you know it's like you know most of my life my house it was craziness and screaming and running and taking care of things Etc and I know certain women who need that so even if they started early in the morning and they have everything all done and the whole place is clean and everything settled about 2 hours before chabas they have that last minute dessert Jean that kicks in and they suddenly decide we need another dessert and it can't be something like jello it can't be even something like brownies it has to be like a trifle something that involves every Appliance and every clean in the house and suddenly there's this pandemonium going on when everything was so calm and all set you know you're running around like craz you know what a br to be able to go into chabas where everything is all done and you're relaxed and you can sit down and wait for shabas to come that was the concept of K shabas yeah Asim would go out into the field and wait for shabas to come it's based on AAR they'd wait to greet shabas they all done everything was Tak care of there was no last minute craziness everything was set up so the important thing with shabas is anticipation and so you have to ask yourself what can I do to make shabus exciting and how can I participate now you can't do everything right there are going to be uh Corners that will be cut um I know this is controversial but I'm just going to put it right out there I've never had a potato coule that was worth making over one that I could buy in the M it okay so yours is a little crispier there's a little drier yours is a little you know more salt less salt yeah okay but say there but the amount of effort that goes into a potato cookle you know peeling the potatoes and grating them and then you know and making the mixture and putting it in the oven and then checking it then putting back in the oven then checking it again then putting it back in the oven and now you have to decide did I keep it in there too long as too dryers it to this you know yeah it just buy it put it on the table that's my opinion I know a lot of people who make potato Cocos have gotten upset at me over the years and and insisted that their potato Coco is worth the effort and it could be that it is but uh you know it all depends how much time you have you got to be real my mother taught me how to make shabis fast I wanted to put out a cookbook my wife wouldn't let me because I have only one title and it was the title my mother gave me it's easy stupid she'd say put up the chicken I said I don't know how she goes it's easy stupid cut a couple of onions put the chicken in put in garlic and paprika and put in the oven at 350 you know put up the brisket I don't know how it's easy stupid cut up a coule of onions put it in put in some garlic and Peppa and stick it in the oven 350 so she taught me how to make really good food really fast and uh you know so I I can make most of chabas in less than an hour you know so that less than an hour I go in and I can put up the big pot for the soup and put in the chicken put up another pot for the noodles in the meantime I start cutting up everything for the chalant you know and uh when the water boils I add the noodles and then I put everything in for the chant I put everything together unless I'm making it for a special occasion I I I I don't fry the onions and brown the meat and everything I stack everything in very nicely no one has ever had any complaints people love my children and uh I have that all done and now I drain the noodles and I put up the water for the filter fish and uh and then I cut up the onions put in the chicken add the garlic and paprika put it into the oven you know and uh and then I make the rice I fill up the urn I set up the candles whatever whatever has to be done I can have it almost all done in in an hour so um I'm not making cougles I'm not patking I'm like that but I I got the fish the soup the noodles the chicken you know if they're potatoes potatoes if I'm baking sweet potatoes I make the sweet potatoes you know I got the chant I got everything's all done I I I'll make the tuna fish for shalas you know I can do everything in an hour you know there's the that the majority of the stuff so then I leave everybody else to PKA for the rest of the day you know I mean then cut this up do this do that you know you know I can usually throw in my pesto in the same amount of time we never used to make pesto but uh my daughter gave me a recipe and it's just so ridiculously easy you know that you know you get a package of pesto and you just pull the leaves off the leaves come off very easily don't put in the whole basil because um it can be bitter so you pull the leaves off the basil and you wash them and drain them you know and then for every cup of leaves you uh have a half a cup of pine nuts and uh and then for you put in three or four garlic cloves you put that into the food processor with some salt and pepper I can't tell you how much and then as it's as it's grinding you keep eting in olive oil here's the key until you think it's too watery that was the mistake I always made I said well that looks like it's done and but then it it congeals and so then it gets too thick so you have to add it until you say to yourself oh my goodness this is too liquidy and then you're done and then you scoop it out or in my case I wait for my wife to scoop it out because I'm not really so good at the scooping out part and put it into a container you put in the fridge and it's unbelievable people love it and it's so incredibly easy I can do that while I'm doing everything else you know if I'm in a more ambitious mood I make my chocolate chip cookies from uh um cookbook called taste buds there used to be a place in Lakewood called taste buds and we got their cookbook and people loved it so much that on on the next trip to America we added into our schedule we were going to go down to Lake we go to tastebuds and when we got there it had closed down so just a shout out to the taste buds cookbook anyway um chocolate chip cookies you know I mean so but all of this I can do in any hour so you know what's what are people killing themselves over know it's it's it's do come up with something that is doable that you can do and make chabas get it done as quickly as possible and it's not too early to set the table unless you have a bunch of little kids okay when I had a bunch of little kids things were much harder but you know you you you can set the table set up the candles and fill up the earn get everything done make a checklist because you always forget something I forgot to turn off the water bar I forgot to turn on the nurn I you know if you have a crock pod you have to remember to turn down the crock pod whatever the case is if just set a shabas clock set the shabas clock you know most of your things you can get done in a short period of time and the goal should be that the end of a chabas I am waiting for chabas to come and and and I'm doing the preparation so that chabas is something that's exciting and anticipated so that when my kids come for shabas they go oh what smells great then they start opening all the pots and they start looking at everything there's no surprises you know I don't I don't make anything that you know such surprise it's just everything I make is just so unbelievably delicious and wonderful and great you know such a great smell to it you know I was like oh what is that you know yeah that's what you want you want to go into shabas with saying I prepared for it now if you go away for shabas you know somebody else makes it okay but you should if you can get there early enough that you do something there be some preparation something that you're doing that fills you with that that you've spent time preparing for chabas that chabas is something that you that you're a a participant in and not a a spectator you know I used to have girls in they would sometimes say would it be okay if we came over to help you make shabas or they say to help you make pesak cuz we never had that and we want to see how and I said well it's a sacrifice but okay fine you want to peel the carrots for the soup or the potatoes for the CH yeah we'll find things for you to do you know there's there's a um there's an anticipation there's an excitement and and when you get to participate I have guys too who say you know they want to they're here in AEL they want the chance to prepare for PES they don't have a chance to prepare for PES you know when I was younger we used to have B over more often you know so they would prepare for PES they would spend 40 to 40 minutes to an hour brushing their hat just over and I know they had to keep replacing it I guess because they must have brushed away the felt after a while you know but that was their preparation you yeah and then you know looking at it the mirror training to just the right angle you know but if you you go into it um I remember I was by somebody's house who was uh very involved in kirv and he had a houseful of company and there's a lot of work that goes into that if you're going to be one of these people you know we have a lot of guests a lot of things you know and uh um he said to me at one point shabas here is it very meaningful but it's not very restful yeah CU shabas has to be something where I'm investing in it if I want to get a return the more I'm putting into that preparation you know you know why uh Yakov says um referring to that I C rash says is my andash is my why say says because is sharp and when argue it's like two pieces of metal that are rubbing against each other and sharpen each other buta is a bow and arrow because the further you pull it back the further the arrow goes same thing with the more kav you have the more effective Thea is I dare say the same thing about chabas the more preparation you put into it the more meaningful it is the more you can say this is my shop and whether that means baking kalas or making food or just setting up the table or getting the candles or whatever it is that you're doing everyone should want to prepare for shabas not just sit on the couch and watch other people do it you want to prepare for chabas it's part of chabas that we're putting in the preparation to be able to go into it so as weaz ourselves during this time with our shabas yeah so uh we should be conscious that uh we're um that we're using the time a shabas as the it's the preparation for chabas that makes chabas even more meaningful and now we come to the question and answer uh portion of our program uh before I begin I should point out that someone asked a question I'm not sure what the question is he says what happened to the little flourish you used to do when you introduce the question answers I'm I'm not familiar but if this is it so here's here's my flourish I don't know what the flourish was I guess I have to go back and actually watch some of these anyway um as you know you have an option to sponsor the podcast you can sponsor our para five minutes now again that you know we don't I don't actually uh say anything because they're secret pre-recorded and uh but we put you up on the screen you know what I mean or you could have the option of sponsoring the question and answers so uh this is the sponsor of the question and answer if you're looking for a perfect companion for your shabas table look no further than Torah sweets a blend of stories H quotes yum and more join thousands of others by signing up for free by emailing Torah sweets that's one word gmail.com this is my good friend mendal dubinsky and uh it's a beautiful thing I I read it myself he sent it to me by email and I certainly um I certainly recommend it okay our first question by Anonymous I am a perfectionist and lately I've been realizing how much it is hurting my life my question is that all the advice I receive is that it's okay not being perfect but I'm struggling with this because it seems that the Torah promotes some type of perfectionism for example we're judged for every action and any imperfection is accounted for and we're responsible on some level even for Clear mistakes and if we do a lot of good whatever we do that's wrong will be held against us and of course the therapist jump to the point of chuva as there not being a demand to be perfect but it seems to me just the opposite every action has to be accounted for just that there's a way to fix the mistakes with Chua and then with Chua itself I need to accept on myself never to do this again and be perfect forever as part of the process it can be a little overwhelming Am I Wrong to think that the Torah does demand Perfection and how do I prevent my perfectionist nature from making me think this way about religion and causing me to be overwhelmed well we're out of time thanks so much for watching if you want to find out more about [Music] no I took this uh I took this question even though I knew it was lengthy because I think it's important because there's a lot of people who have this I have this issue now beyond the philosophical the first answer is prac yeah it really can help you relax and not to get so stressed out but uh that's people who who are perfectionists to the point that they that they freeze up you know uh I had a person once who told me that he used to Davin and and it would take him very very long time to Davin because uh um you know he was worried he didn't say would come and he would go over it again it could take him three hours to say you know so I gave him a bunch of ases you know and uh and I saw him sometime later and I said you know how's it going and he says oh great I saw every shinberg he told me to take [Laughter] Prozac so if you have an obsess Ive personality that's something different but let's deal with the philosophical question of does the Torah demand Perfection so the short answer is no no you know you're 100% right you're going to be held responsible for every action having said that you find this idea in the gamarra we just had it those of you who do dafi it just came up in kadan about the kohanim who are wearing the big day Kahuna now the Kahan come and they dress in the big day Kahuna which are Kos and the purpose of it is to do the aod but they're not doing the avoda the whole time and so aren't they getting personal benefit from theod when they're not doing the aod they're wearing it it's comfortable they're enjoying it whatever the case happens to be so then aren't they over the is of that comes from doing something uh that uh is taking benefit from hcsh and the answer is no listen to what the gar says because the Torah was not given to and therefore understands that you're a human being and a human being has limitations now does that mean my actions don't have consequences of course not because if the negative things that I do don't have consequences and the positive things I do don't have consequences either but the answer is you are a work in progress and anyone who thinks that I'm going to be perfect at the beginning is making a terrible mistake I've mentioned this in the pastos Shapiro I heard him explain it a few times the concept of atbash atbash seems somewhat random it's a method whereas you switch the first letter with the last letter the second letter with the second to last letter it's bash Al with t b with shin and it goes all the way through so he says what's the logic of it says the logic of it is created the world from top to bottom he started on the highest levels in theim and slowly worked his way down until the bottom bottom level where we are if you go into the mall and you find the big chart of the world you'll see the little arrow on the bottom in the malus of uh AA and the little arrow says you are here there's no question we're at the bottom of the process but hasem started from Alf and worked his way down to tough we're born as a baby we are helpless we can't talk we can't move we can barely see we need someone to change us to feed us to burp us to dress us to care for us until we can slowly figure out how to smile so that people might like us and then you come up with this great Innovation takes a long time takes months to able to do this you can turn over yeah and everyone applauds yay what an accomplishment you have to wait till you're very old to get Applause for that again but anyway you turn over then eventually you can get up on all fours and you can rock it's very exciting and then you start practicing sounds yeah I have some of my grandchildren who are convinced that they're able to speak but they're not saying any words that I can recognize and they're so frustrated because they're saying to me and the only thing that has proved effective is when I answer them in their own language and I go I have a whole conversation they might know what I'm saying but I have no idea anyway it's similar to me talking yish but anyway um there's this so they're able to come up with sounds they say the first word we're so excited so excited you know um uh I used to sit with my children and I would just sit them and just go over and over again ab ab ab and very often their first word was ABA instead of IMA and my wife who would take care of them all day was you know surprised but that's only because the only thing I did with these kids was go ABA ABA ABA ABA so they finally learn how to talk you know and then eventually you learn how to walk you spend a lot of time falling down you learn how to walk and you learn how to talk and then you go and uh you learn how to write you learn how to read and you learn simple uh mathematics and you build yourself up how can you expect Perfection from somebody who you know doesn't know how to control their own bowel movements how do you ever get Perfection for somebody who's trying to learn how to read yeah learn how to stand straight you the whole world is a mystery to them the answer is your work in progress and you have to try to achieve things uh many years ago I heard this expression it says how do you learn to make good decisions by making bad decisions and the gamar says that the way there's no way to come to the MS without first making mistakes aminu first had to investigate every of Zar until he realized that they were all wrong until he could arrive at the truth by a process of elimination how often do you come across says why don't you say who it is why do you start by saying well it's not going like him you know at the beginning of B one of my favorite garas to teach it says so that I can say yes we have no bananas we Have No Bananas to anyway but uh you know you're going to make mistakes that's that's it's built into the process and therefore it says in P the reward goes based on the effort and some people are going to have a much harder time and God um grades on a curve he doesn't expect you to be perfect he expects you to be the best Jew that's one of the reasons with cona coming up that we were so upset about the Greeks for introducing Sports so one reason is because we're so bad at it but the other reason is because um Sports says there's one Finish Line and everyone has to run for that finish line so you already eliminated everybody except for five Kenyans you know I mean there's nobody else who's going to compete with them so that's it you know I'm going to be 65 in shvat and I realized that my of becoming a major league baseball player have really dropped significantly I'm just not going to do it I didn't have that gift I didn't have that coordination I didn't have that strength I can do it no instead I specialize at making aurbic comments that have made people uh be my mortal enemies for years but you play to your strength if you remember I said this over in uh in my interview with n black you know so the kutka says if I am I because you you are you and you are your because I am I then I am not I and you are not you meaning I can't judge myself against you well is it fair to compare Batman to Superman Superman's an alien from another planet who can fly and shoot beams out of his eyes and is invulnerable Batman's a guy you know who's got a bunch of gadgets man how do you compare the two so Batman's got to do the best that he can and Superman's got to do the best that he can I got to do the best that I can do and I will never be will never be me he thanks God every day for that one but you know I can do things that he can't do the was good friends with the vagan whatever that means with the the villan says why how come you never give me mus because I'll give you mus you're the great villan because you never leave this room could you do what I do travel around and speak in in communities and to give to everybody and still be the villan the vill s crying cuz he knew he couldn't he didn't leave his room cuz he knew that you need to F the GU you need a d the maget and the two of them are not going to be the same so when you say perfectionism nobody's perfect my wife got the last one no of course you're going to fall short and it's built into the system you're going to fall short and you're going to be held responsible for your actions but what that means is different things to different people and so therefore a person who struggling with a particular issue his victories are going to be different than the victories of a person who grew up in a in a you know uh with with different skills and different abilities and so no one is expected to be perfect with a capital P I don't have to be the best they have to be the best me and that's why when you set one finish line for everybody it's impossible and that's why theil shash says yeah the beginning in your world I don't have to be the best I have to be the best me I have to work with the limitations that I have and try to do as much as I can and by definition I'm going to fall short that's part of The Human Experience just the fact that you're a human being and you're physical you're going to fall short so I'm going to be held responsible I once said to somebody you know I I I said I'd rather have my aers than your mitzah he was such a nasty character and and he put people down and you know did things in a terrible way even the aers that I do are better than you and Mitzvah you know because you a nasty piece of work so the answer is I got to be the best me and yet there are things are going to fall short and the thing to remember is I'm a work in progress the shua says if you're still doing do not focus on don't look at regret work on changing your behavior that's all you take another step forward another step forward I know how old you are but when you get into your 60s you realize you tell time by decades and I got to be better in my 60s and I was in my 50s and my 50s and I was in my 40s my 40s and I was in my 20s i a a life is a progress as Douglas Adams who wrote The Hitch is Guide to the Galaxy said I don't know if I went everywhere was supposed to go but I think I ended up where I was supposed to be okay and uh I guess we're out of time there'll be no more questions no more questions that's it and until next time if you want to find out more about the show you can go to my website row.com you can sponsor an episode you can sponsor the question answers you can uh you can sponsor a paraa you can join one of the onl line sh yeahi uh you can uh have uh listened to the theme song that that Lenny Salon wrote for me you could do all kinds of things hold the pickles hold the lettuce special arst don't upset us oh ask is that you let us let let us have make it your way have it your way at the rowski show and I am Davi and this has been the rabbi Orlowski show it's the rabbi orski show Torah and S ready to go the rabbi orlovski show knowledge and wisdom will help you grow lots of fun in every episode and we don't have to rhy no we don't it's the rabbi orlovski show on rabbi orlovski dcom Tor anytime YouTube and more it's Rabbi orlovski show Tora and ready to go the rabbi orski show till next time till we meet again the rabbi Orlowski show it's the rabbi Orlowski show it's the rabbi Orlowski [Music] show