Premarital sexuality. Do NOT stay single.

[Music] and all you single people please God I'm gonna get married and the reason I'm gonna say yes that person by the way get married as quickly as possible every single person in this room get married as quickly as possible they get it done now I get married now say I'm getting married this year everyone say I'm getting married this year okay and now Shmuel over here don't say that doesn't say get married this year but but what did I originally say everybody get married as soon as father you get married as soon as possible and don't listen to these don't listen these these people but you know you remind me of a guy who got divorced that no one knew we got it was a famous guy but then he moved to California and got divorced and no II didn't live in California's the no one knew he got divorced so then he got engaged but he got engaged to a famous person so the whole world found out that this famous woman was marrying this guy and everyone was like he's gonna be married to two women cuz everyone was like he's married everyone knows if he's a married man but that's that people don't think about that when they run off to get divorced just cuz like they're just gonna go IRA now you can get divorced they don't realize that everyone thinks they're married still I don't know if you want the answer that question yes the question was why get married as soon as possible minute um so there's a couple reasons but I mean there's so many reasons but one of them is you're doing absolutely no offense you're doing a whole rific job of being single and doing a horrific job everyone who's singles doing a just a horrible job of that and and you must stop trying to do your life alone which is a whole subject in itself but but it's not okay and so then you'd say well have a boyfriend have a girlfriend or move in with somebody wrong wrong you don't move in with somebody you don't get a point for another girlfriend because that is an insult anyone who would date you should be slapped because if they're willing to date you without a commitment of marriage that means that that they are they're just like as long as I can see the exit side I'll hang out with you you go to the restaurant with a guy and he keeps positioning himself to see the exit sign on the restaurant you know just gotta keep my eye on the exit you know anyone who's willing to date you should be slapped period okay when you're ready to get married and then you date and in willing today to is a serious contender that's someone who's worth dating whereas if you're not willing to get married you're not ready to get married which means and by the way how do you get ready to get married how do you get ready to get married it's very simple it's pretty simple you make it deadline how do you get ready for finals a deadline how do you get essays done in university you have a deadline how do you get packed for a trip you have a deadline know if you're like most humans you wait till the last minute waiting with a real deadline you're done you're done so well you may say like how do you make a deadline to forget marry and the answer is that you make an you write a resume put an envelope and you have a deadline when you're gonna hand it to the matchmakers to people who make matches now some of you're like oh and some random person making a match for me okay fine stay single they see because they're good at that I don't think you would do anything without the people were good at it especially if anything worth worthwhile there are certain people with a gene for networking you need that gene to make matches and everyone always comes with us H rabbis and the worst man rabbi's and the my note rabbis and they're like oh he's so insightful surely I don't know who I'm supposed to marry but you go ask all this we won't have any [ __ ] of them they made yeah and then let me teach you a little Spanish nah that's not even the right word you say no nunca let me teach you a little Spanish everyone say the word nunca nunca means none ya because because the people with that specific gene to know who goes with who they're generally emotional basket cases by the way unless they've done serious work on themselves they're interesting people not the kind of people you want to spend more than a half hour with just handing them your resume and giving them somewhat of a sense of you and then get out of there and let them get to work but you have a deadline if you know you're handing your resume your marriage what date you know your marriage resume to somebody on this in this date I promise you'll be ready by that date just like you're ready for everything once you have a date but the nebulous like oh I'll get married someday forget about forget about it and you want to know something I'll go one last reason then we're going back to this one last reason is is by the time no effect I don't even know who you are but it's like this could make this about someone else but by the time you get your act together and finally decided you were ready for this you're gonna turn around to the dating pool and you're gonna see a used-car lot as far as the eye can see okay it's a rental used-car lot it's it's called rent a wreck yeah and it's it's as far as the eye can see because it's the people in your pool which people are in your pool the same people rapport that's a idiots who thought they should stay single for several years and so and so welcome to your dating pool good luck have a nice marriage you know bringing boxing gloves yeah you need a mouthpiece for this marriage so so yeah the whole point of marriage is having a safe place to put your heart but how you supposed to have a heart to put safe ly if it's been if it's been egg sliced from every direction in every stupid relationship that you gave your heart to without the commitment meaning all those relationships that had exit signs there's no exit for marriage I mean there is but it's hell if you have you if you want to have an intimate relation with someone you have to have hell to pay otherwise you'll always hold back and this is one of the saddest things and this falls more on girls than boys these people are so lonely that they'll pretend someone's holding their heart meaning they'll they'll fool themselves into thinking they're letting someone hold their heart but they don't realize that they're unconsciously withholding most of the weight of their heart they're kind of pulling it off because they don't get done they don't wanna be a liability they're like they're like unconsciously making themselves as low maintenance is that they're holding their art should be as low maintenance as possible but if all of this is just an indication to hell hurt and lonely that I'll even pretend someone's holding my heart for a month for six months for a year for two years three years and this is why you'll notice how many people get divorced you know what I'm going to say that you'll notice that people after they get married realize what a weight their spouses they didn't realize how heavy it is and that why because she finally like let the weight drop and now he's like oh my gosh this isn't who I married and and the answer is you're right she wasn't really letting you hold her heart because she was trying to keep herself from getting dumped now do you think I can keep going on this you think I got about 20 more levels of white get married as soon as possible yes I do I'm now gonna keep going on this I could just do the whole class on this and go we would just go detail after detail to detail shift eat so it's a whole long outline of why get married as soon as possible and when I say that obviously I'm saying get ready but the only thing that will get you ready is the deadline so just make a deadline and say I'm getting married but I'm getting meaning I'm starting serious dating for marriage from this point on and just one more little piece of advice is do not let him touch you again anyone who's dating you should be slapped don't let him touch you he may not touch you do not let him touch you if he wants to touch you slap him give him a cold shower they don't get the goods they don't get the goods until they put an insurance policy on your ring finger this was a secret that women knew for thousands of years but in the whole women's liberation and feminism that that killed females today they they they they were like that those women from the 1950s till late 60s we're like we want to be like the men we want to be like a min we want to be like the men these originators of this we want to be like the men except for one thing the men get to be slime balls and we have to be good girls and then came along the late 1960s the sexual revolution evolution and at which point the women just said that hold we want to be like the men we want to be like the men we love implement they took their last card in the poker game and they just put it on the table and ever since that day men rent Wi-Fi when you can rent no man even bothered with liability again after that until he turned around at 36 years old midtown Manhattan and realized he forgot to get married to see a used-car lot as far as the eye can see now I know this sounds rough but somebody's got to save this stuff because they meet people all the time all the time I'm meeting people who are just postponing these things my daughter is getting married on a Monday thank God and and my brother-in-law said that his 15 year old daughter was thinking about it and know my wife's brother his fifth year old daughter was thinking about it he said the way the the way the glaziers work it's likely that the Glazers that my my cousin's children will get married before me because if i get married around the age my parents got married because they know they're not observant they got married in their 30s so by the time she would be in her mid 30s my grandkids because I already have like a five year old grandkid well that kid would be you know she'll be in where the Hasidic population gets married so she said my my cousin's kids will probably get married before me and that wasn't her complaining by the way she wasn't saying wow I better get married that was her to stay a fact that everyone seems to take for granted at least in the secular society and you should know all of the world population until until last a couple of hundred years but for thousands of years every girl got married between 12 and 14 and every boy got married between 14 and 16 now there's not a man in this room who wouldn't have said that would have been a relief and there were 18 years old to have his brick as our sages call it have his bread in the basket because it's nearly torture to be anywhere between 18 and 22 years old single as a male not to mention these days as dangers but what what a pleasure your life would have been and you already had your bread in the basket during those years now again I'm not advocating for men to be getting married between 14 and 16 nor my advocating for girls get married 12 to 14 what I would be advocating is that society gets back to his healthiness so that we could go back to those standards that would be great if society was healthy enough to go back to that that would be wonderful but but in the meantime we're not there at all not at all but at least a girl could potentially prepare herself by the time she were if she had to cut off she needs that deadline no by the way you might say well well how does it work in Hasidic society where's the deadline and the answer is your older sister see if you're if you're a nine year old girl if you're a nine year old girl or not your old boy and you're all disassembling gets engaged at 18 that's the bar you're a different 16 year old when you turn 16 if you're 18 when you were 9 and your 18 year old Savannah engaged and married at 18 you're a different 16 year old when you're 16 right you're you're you know the time is ticking and you start maturing because there's a deadline and it causes you to grow in ways you've never grown and I've been watching this because my oldest daughter got engaged at that age the younger she was 17 and I watched all my daughters like suddenly hit this growth track that grows them into marriage but all the people like any of you in the room who did not have siblings doing that so you're on this totally other track and I'm saying create an artificial deadline and get trapped so that you'd get you so that you don't deal with any more nonsense so you can put your heart where it belongs and that's me in the committed hands of somebody who has no reasons