Pre-Chanukah Event N'shei Kehilas Tiferes Mordechai - The 60/40 Ratio

this Tower class is brought to you by torahanytime.com thank you for the Mrs Novak for gracefully hosting tonight thank you so much thank you for opening up your home may I call this will be my very few and your whole family that this value should always be full with Tyra with uh hashem's presence um I want to thank a very remarkable woman who is um I'm very indebted to for many many reasons um but I want to thank Robinson sorry thank you for everything that you do to make uh possible and um okay good evening everyone I just want to share a brief thought so this is an informal Gathering I think it's a very beautiful idea so just a few a brief idea for the Octave of chanukkahiba makes a very clear statement probably we're all familiar with it and like many statements in the gemara we don't give it much thought and maybe we don't have the courage to really ask the question that we would like to ask Sigmar basically says that anyone who likes will have children who are coming which let's let's you know that's every Jewish parents dream that they have uh children God-fearing children says anyone who lies to this great Braha and we just take it for granted that's what the gemara says and maybe we don't have the courage to ask what we would like to ask and this is the question of uh the son of the rapid this is an individual who had giloi Elio I mean he spoke tell you another face to face and he basically asks look around every observant too lights and not everyone is so you know so is the Camaro literal doesn't just saying something but we know figumara says that if you like the Hanukkah menorah you'll have children to become you could take it to the bank and look around not everybody has this great bracha so what exactly does Gomorrah mean so he says that yeah Everyone likes the menorah but not everybody likes it with all the details there are a lot of very specific halasis there are a lot of Kim you have to light it at a precise time yeah okay let's light the menorah at night but like what time are you supposed to like the menorah there's a specific window not sometimes uh one is not able to light then which is okay but yeah okay if I can't light them so when am I supposed to like and there's a specific way to light it'll just give you a little hint but don't tell this your husband they're gonna get annoyed at you if you tell them what to do but just tell them to listen to the sheer that the way that 99 of people like even um the menorah is they take they put wick on Wick as soon as it catches fire okay they go on to the next you're not really good to the casino you have to actually hold the wick down on the wick until the majority of the wick that will hold the fire it spreads to the majority of the week there are a lot of very specific details so Umar says that if somebody would fulfill the lighting of an hour with all the minutia precisely then you can take it to the bank you'll have but not everybody does that so therefore not everyone is like that to this great bracha and Ravi rochamotion your River commotion is rashiva of Lakewood he and his safer yes yeah but come on nowadays everybody knows all the details everyone everybody knows the the fine print everybody knows all the punctilious uh instructions and most people are doing it exact and still not everybody is so here's what I'd like to share with you on this fine Saturday evening November 20th yes 2021. nashe kahal the First Market if you looked in the gamara the gamara um basically is about eight lines of text regarding the umptive of chanukkah Ali Kumar says and they defiled all the oil and the Jews came back in and they searched and they searched and they couldn't find any oh they found one flask of oil enough to light for one night last for eight nights and they established the following young Tiff chanukkah and what is Hanukkah like what do you do on Hanukkah like what do you think the gamar says to spin the dreidel and to eat lacques digamar says you do two things on Hanukkah don't talk about dreidel doesn't talk about it says the main enactments and legislation of Hanukkah is you say Halal right you know Hanukkah is one of the only times you say full Hollow for eight days even pesach you don't say so Halal is the main observance of Hanukkah so in other words if you ate Donuts and you didn't say hello then you didn't do Hanukkah contrary to popular opinion you know Donuts are deadly right they're about 1700 calories that's for the first half my father wants something very important okay you don't have to follow that directive but but the government doesn't talk about eating Donuts like mother doesn't talk about spinning the trailer says you say hello and thanking Hashem which means if let's say you had a big Hanukkah party and you gave out Hanukkah gelt and you uh you did all the things that people doing and you didn't thank Hashem astonishingly the Gomorrah forgot to mention the main Mitzvah and the only mid subclinical what's the only miss of Hanukkah lighting the menorah see this I didn't if you don't trust me I know you say well think about the Gamora actually does not say you should like the menorah the gemara says the year of following the miracle of Hanukkah kavam the Assam they established it and they made it you say hello and you thank Hashem and the Gomorrah doesn't say like the menorah now the rambam codifies the Kamara halatha listen to this rambam because I know you're hoping to come out tonight and hear a good smack around them so I'm here for you for that purpose the rambam codifies the gamma the gamar says like this the ramen says as follows that these eight days that start on the 25th day of kiss slave you may Hollow um you like the menorah and you say hello you say hello so the random codifies you're supposed to say hello and the Ramones says you have to to light the Manara and what did the ram mom forget the ramen forgot to say you have to thank Hashem here the gemara says what do you do on Kanika Halal and what is so the Gomorrah forgot to say you like the Manara and the Roman forgot to say you think Hashem yeah hallelu is praising Hashem hashem's greatness so again so I want you to figure this out on your own the gemara says what are you doing Hanukkah hello and Haida the rambam says so the Gomorrah forgot to say you like them and Ira and the rambam forgot to say you thank Hashem foreign must be that lighting them another is different than any other midst on the tire every other Miss on the Tyra you just do it so a man puts on fill in what is she what should he think I'm putting on phone because God told me to why it doesn't really matter any other mix that we do you don't have to think of the purpose of the Mitzvah the gemara does not say that you have to light them up the Gamora is saying you have to like the Monaro but the way the gemara says it is you have to thank in other words lighting them out is different than any other myth so every other mystery just do the ACT pick up the look and shake it why because the Lord said so you uh sit in Ahsoka why the Revenge Shalom said however lighting the manure is different than any other mitzvah the lighting of the menorah there's no there is no Mitzvah to on the on the eight nights of chanukkah to open up your window and to light a fire on the Candelabra if somebody did that they did not do anything the purpose of lighting the menorah is it's an expression of gratitude which means that if you didn't know that lighting them and I was an expression granted or you knew it's an expression but you didn't think that you're not your sons which is a very big Swedish because we know let's say a guy is out late he's coming home from the office 2 am what does he do the woman lights the woman light seminar for him and um he comes home he's really say he's but that's only if afterwards he thinks this Landing of the mirror should serve as a expression of my gratitude you see if we were to ask we have 613 misses on the tire it's a lot of Mitzvahs it occupies our whole day the whole day we're occupied doing misses we get up in the morning and we watch Nagel Vassar and we dive in and we go to work to support our families and we keep Shabbos and we do all the missus what is the point of all of it in other words what does Hashem want from us through our performance of the missiles what's the objective of fulfilling the message what's the underlying fundamental objective of fulfilling the Midwest the ramban says the purpose of all the midst of Torah is just to come to one realization rewind you created me thank you that's the purpose of all the missile sometimes sometime thank you thank you I don't want to get into the uh you know the uh overused hackneyed what thank you Hashem but the objective of all the myths of the tourists to recognize how close bro who created us he gave us a house he gave us a room to sleep in he gave us husband wife father mother children table food the basic necessities of life the purpose of all the midsources to come to recognition is to pause and to say okay I'm lighting I'm doing this let's say I'm Lighting near Shabbos because I recognize that you created me and you gave me everything I have and I know I have billions of cells in my body Each One require trillions of processes for me to function and be alive I know right now your bet you're bestowing upon me a multiplicity of benefits without which any one of those billions of benefits I could not be alive thank you thank you that's why it says that wants to be careful in a small Mitzvah like a great mitzvah why should we be so careful on a small muscle because even a small Mitzvah fulfills the objective of all the Mitzvahs which is to recognize that colors and we can pay him back no there's no way to pay him back because if a person couldn't see how much would a person pay to see they'd come up with 10 million dollars to be able to see so we can't give Hashem 10 million dollars so there's no way to pay him back even for one of the benefits that he gives for us so all we could do is acknowledge that he does it for us and we could express our gratitude that's the purpose of all the midst of the time says that we should recognize them to thank him so even though that's the purpose of all the misplace but is there one Mitzvah that that Mitzvah is a direct expression of just thanking Hashem the purpose says we're not lighting the candle someone lights the candle at the exact time in the precise way prescribed by the Shelton with every single detail not only did they not vote they didn't do anything in other words let's say um if you have to show gratitude to someone and you throw a ball at them and you un didn't know that on the ball it said thank you then you didn't thank anyone you you did a completely different act there is no Mitzvah of lighting the Candelabra the Knight of Hanukkah the Mitzvah is to Express gratitude Hashem if the lighting door is not an expression of gratitude you don't do anything therefore surgery now are there many many people who like them and they light it precisely and exactly but they don't light it with a heart overflowing of gratitude and then they lose out the great bracha vouch safe by the gemara of haragle Baner zoichen now amazingly if someone has let's say no shoes let's say a person has one pair of shoes one would be required to sell their shoes to buy nechanical which is not the case by any other mitzvah not only that if somebody likes Hanukkah and they put in the hazard a hazardous place and it causes damage they're Potter so we make all kinds of dispensations by near Hanukkah they're very uh strict responsibilities in other words one one would have to even sell their clothing to light near Hanukkah to the extent that the rambam says of all the missus in the torahanaka is Mitzvah vivah it is a very beloved mitzvah what is so beloved about Hanukkah because it fulfills the main objective really of all the missiles in attire so I'll leave you with one story this story was um very um compelling and challenging to me because I think it would that will definitely cause us to rethink our the way we doubt them so there's a guy according to this book his name was Asha and he had five daughters all over age 28. and as you could imagine his entire life became preoccupied with finding shadukone for these five girls so it wasn't easy five girls in marriageable age and they're getting older and then he had a kabuta who had one daughter married her off like this and he had to buy a house you know in Israel he married someone you got to buy them an apartment so they buy an apartment and he needed someone to be a co-signer for the apartment so this his harusa who has the five girls who of a marriageable age was the Ra was the co-signer for the apartment the the father of this daughter he um defaulted he couldn't pay for the parliament now the the oil fell on this guy who has five girls in sudoken and he couldn't pay it so the band came and took away his house so never for the guy you know he's he's overwhelmed with trying to marry up his because now he doesn't have his house and his life was basically in shambles so he went to the basis surround the guy rather and the garaba says okay so and he says you know I dab in every day for my daughters that they should find should I down for pranasana and I said nothing worked here the guy represents you you mean you just ask Hashem how much of your dining do you spend thanking Hashem so you're thanking us them for what you have five daughters and they're all healthy and you're healthy and you you move to an apartment and you have parents and you have furniture and you have a place to sleep and again so what percent of the davening do you spend thanking Hashem what percent dominating do you spend asking Hashem and he was very embarrassed because basically his whole davening revolved around asking Hashem like when he would pause and shmakolanu or when he would stop and you know close his eyes and go it was all Bakers and it was no thank you which I assume what most people do and he left embarrassed and sort of wondering what exactly does he have to thank Hashem and then he realized that he could make a very very long list and the guy rabbit told him a ratio or proportion 60 of your teles should be thanking Hashem 40 should be asking and he was wondering like where does this number come or where does God get this from and he realized that in halal we say um four times then we say so we end up saying hiju six times four times so he said maybe that's where the garage got this proportion and ratio from and he tried it and obviously the story has like this amazing ending within three months he married off three girls and then the other guy got a yarusha and he bought the house back and you know the happy the story ends happily ever after which I can't tell you whether that's true or not like that but that's not the point the point is not whether the story had a happy ending or not the point for me at least is a reality check that I think most people spend the vast majority of their davening asking asking asking and I think most of the day people walk around the default position of our mind is how difficult my life is all my issues all my problems my problems with my kids and my spouse and my home and my life and most people the default position of their mind is all the things that they need and the purpose of life is that the default position of our minds should be what we need to be grateful to College Park before and that's really the purpose of lighting the menorah and that's the purpose of all the missus in the Torah and that is the purpose of like our existence the purpose of our existence is to live a life of gratitude I had breakfast I have lunch I have dinner I have a car I have a place to live I have family I have we should have a list of at least a hundred things that you walk down the street on block one you think about the first thing you should be grateful for and block two the second thing you should be grateful for and the black three and if you're walking two miles you should not exhaust the possibilities of things that you should be grateful it doesn't mean you can't ask Hashem for what you need everybody has needs but the rambam writes he never met someone in his entire life that didn't have more good things in their life than challenges that person never existed and even though we like to think of ourselves as of course I have more problems than I have uh than I have uh benefits but there is no there is no such person so from the object of Hanukkah we should try to glean when we light the Manara we should make sure that it's with expression of gratitude Hashem and you could kindly remind your husband to listen to the shift so he knows what to do when he's lighting but even besides that it's not about the Monaro it's really about the purpose of all the mississaug and it's about changing the default setting of our minds instead of being of what's wrong with my existence to what I have to be grateful to college will fulfill ours is thank you so much for inviting me to this sure so the ramen would say no because even though he lost family but he's alive and if he's alive that means his kidneys were working and if his kissing is working their bunch of them had to perform trillions of benefits to him just so that he could get up in the morning and he has the opportunity to get up in the morning so even if the ramen would say he didn't have it easy but he still had majority of good so it's not about fellow but it's basically hello because you say Hoda and this is that like even if you don't have the intention here's the thing in Hunters hello Lou that's a good question because there's hello you say my name is but like if you're just singing it and you're not even saying that I'm lighting it so then it's like you know mississaugus and they turn on the light that's a shy gig so you need car Power for that let's say somebody's walking through the hall and they just brush against the light it's not enough era because they had no degree of Consciousness so if somebody just sings they're not really thinking about the meaning of the words so can you on any level are they expressing gratitude are they did an expression if you don't even know you're expressing it or like I lose it like or the concentration or someone's pugging at me right so this um this was from zahab apartment she wrote her like the nashama even if you like me physically isn't in my tefila my nishama said it for me like I don't know so it makes me feel better when I have like a nap like not a good idea so that may or may not be true when it comes to Dominic I don't try to have bad ones but when I'm like we're with you on that it's even if you have everything you know going your way it's hard to be makavela te Fila was enacted in a way where the company already injected in the words of FILA what they need to accomplish so it's Fila even said without Cabana is effective this is gratitude if you're not grateful it's hard to say that you are having read it right so this is like you know this was this is a level of missile that we should try to Aspire to if we can't then we could rely on Mrs fireman's [Music] 60 40 ratio referring to personality is it built into the tools that we said yeah the personality list personal to your life throughout the day or each time I think you could like daily a lot it doesn't have to be thank you by the way the story I just heard this story this week so it's um it's a challenge to me I I I I myself have to reevaluate you know during schmuck calendar you have all kinds of personal bakoshies so we have like personal things in my Dem okay let me stop and buy them and pause now and think of all the things we have to be grateful tacos we should thank you everybody have a great evening you've just experienced another Torah class brought to you by 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