Powerful Inspiration for Older Singles - Rabbi Eli Karmel

Being older and single can be deeply painful. The loneliness, the uncertainty, the self-doubt about whether I should have made different choices, the fear that maybe the perfect person will never come. And especially now when Yamto is coming, which is a very familyoriented time, it is even more noticeable that unfortunately you are still waiting to have your own family. And when you see your old friends that are your age that are walking with their husbands and their kids, they're all perfectly matching. I can't even begin to imagine the amount of pain that that can cause you to feel inside. And so I don't blame you for a second if you can't help but start questioning, "Hashem, how is this fear? How could you do this to me? Don't you see the pain that I'm going through? Don't you love me?" And so I'd like to share with you now a perspective that hopefully will be able to lift your spirits and will allow you to see a clear purpose in this period of your life. See, if everything that always happened to you would always make perfect sense and you would always be able to see exactly why every single thing that's happening to you is perfectly good for you, then it wouldn't be a big deal for you to believe that Hashem is always doing everything for your best. It'll be like kicking a soccer ball into a net without any goalie trying to block you, obviously that's not very impressive because the bigger the struggle is and the more you need to overcome, then the greater you are. So when you see that friend with the perfectl looking family and she's getting all the attention and she seems to be in the spotlight more than you, just stop and remember it's really just the opposite. Because the very fact that your life is so hard shows that Hashem decided that you were the only one who could handle such a hard role to play. And Hashem only chose you because he believes that only you are strong enough to overcome such an incredible challenge. And if you could see out the shamay right now, they're not watching your friend. She's in the little leagues. That's not interesting. They're all watching you because you were chosen to play the game of life on the highest and hardest level possible. And they are watching you because you are a fighter and you are a warrior and they are all rooting for you that you will be able to keep trusting in Hashem that it's all for your best even though it's so hard. So imagine right now that you are on stage in the center of a packed stadium and there's millions of people around the world that are tuning in just to watch you and they're all cheering your name. And all you need to do to win this thing is to keep reminding yourself every single day again and again. Hashem loves you not one drop less than your friend who's married with kids. And this life is not a race to see who can get married first because every single thing that happens to us is directly decided by Hashem who loves you. And he only does what is the absolute best for you. And the second that Hashem decides that it's best for you to get married, you will get married. Not one second later, not one second earlier. And every second that you spend in this painful situation and you are able to gather the strength to trust in Hashem, every second is trillions of dollars being deposited into your heavenly bank account. And so even if you can't understand why, but you trust that the situation that you are in now is the best possible situation for you to be in. So the next time you're feeling down and you start to think about the fact that you're single, just lift your head up and say to yourself, "Yes, I'm single because Hashem singled me out to be the star of the show. And Hashem singled me out to give me a massive opportunity to reach the highest levels of Ghana." And yes, you are single because with a struggle as hard as yours, you are singlehandedly holding up the entire world. [Music]