Living in the Waiting: Shidduchim With R’ Shlomie Erlich

Fine. Welcome to another episode of Positivity. Super excited to be here with no other with a mashpia, coach, a therapist, shliach of the Rebbe would call him because that's what he is to so many people. And um also you're now a podcaster. So you do your own podcast and shmooze and conversations. You're involved in so many organizations including Kesherum which is helps people with uh shidduchim. So um it's really an honor to have you on. You were the first guest of our show. Yes. And it's a big help to you and your family and people were delighted. Like they were so happy to hear perspective and I get it. Um I think they are the issue of us. The Yom Tov to me is just coming to me like a vacation, like a beautiful moment but up until this year probably still keep it secret I was still struggling with it. It is the same. It was a lot of frustration and it was like let me go. Let me get out of this. But I can also say to myself that see because yes my mindset is and I know how to take care of myself and how to deal with stuff and I have my own meditation and routine and whatever but I also very much changed my actual physical and how I go about stuff. My shield guy is different than the other men. Um this year I'm being a flatterer and it's a sham. So of course I'm excited. Let's see what will be on the Tulum, Mexico. So the question that I would want to hear the the the the topic I would want to hear from you is that What's the worst today versus the stock cuz enough kids are going to listen to this. It can and I have and miss guy in a shield because I must ask why is it I push them days? And so they all have to see how how to go about it. And so yeah, so first of the topic. Okay, so what do we do? What's the book here? What's he's basically stuck in the house. What's his perspective? >> in the house for Passover. Passover can be a real pressurizing time. Mhm. They are confused with things like the house and and the And they like the pressure. They are projecting their their stress on the kids. And the kids are like so much TV Passover is going to be on. Yeah. You know, it's going to be the Yeah. Right. And the teachers are spring cleaning to clean up Passover. The marketing companies and all the advertisers and the the Judaica stores and all the stores They will market Passover to the furniture stores. They are furniture looking at Passover. Yeah. But the advertisers are marketing Passover And I tell us and I say jewelry the basement we clean and it's like a stress. It's like I probably mentioned Passover is Passover. And what makes spring cleaning in America when I mentioned makes spring cleaning is starting off clean down Eric. >> I will amass benches and nice dress. Not too much with the logos and nice confused. It's kept by the way don't say. Some stuff was like a confused when the zombies are coming and smashing the blocks. Still levels in the blocks. How do you device the matches the blocks beside mine? Best all the seeds that you have to have. No, last week master. Yeah. We clean up the whole dish and I dish too. Uh-huh. Benches and master of the dish. Actually got from the break off. I will finish. You got broken. I I will be the subject to my friend I will say it that the mansion was things I can happen is as I destroying the children. Mhm. Is I destroy my children to get on a level. Mhm. And the children say to get all in a in a in a right side. And it's kept by the right to say an anxiety while I waste somebody waste time. You know what people can be ready to mommy. You can ready to daddy. Mhm. My mom and dad repeat the story. My mom repeat the story in the film the story. Listen to like be open and explain why you don't things. Right. First mission is to spice. Right. What's the reason? If something I got I must mention they're not going to know if it's Mr. Spice. The reason for Mr. Spice is not by the team. I need from when we want to get the stuff for the most spice. I search for China. I need days on your fashion. Right. This is the most beautiful meaning ever. Right. I just want to get some bread. Yes. >> Such a nice Right. Separate for the holiday. >> Separate I'm going to get the cheesecake by the Right. Right. Right. And um Mhm. And I don't regret it. Yeah. Like it was beautiful in a sense. But They don't have many options. Right. I'm like schmooze is that What I'm seeing from what you're saying and I want to elaborate on that is that it's all perspective. Let's say that a square and so look how beautiful it is. And every place is different like and every man is different and from from >> the kind of on level. Exactly. Correct. Correct. And even with that spouse, by the way. Like, devised was her doubt on was niche. Like, how do you I think device Correct. Correct. Perspective. Right. So, that may be a personal question, but you have a rule or you would go for a Wow. I know you love to learn. Wow. It's It's not Right. Can just answer Yeah. Mhm. Right. the basic >> Right, exactly. That could show the good on me, I think. But no, I'm happy that I can inspire so many people. Because it's crazy. Technology has allowed that any mensch can help an aspiring mensch. And to show me there's no nobody that's even validated. This means to me that nobody's validating this. Meaning that I'm mensch. And in the community to this it's the it's the living in silence. A mensch was hard depressed or anxiety from the mensch means here those days mensch means to tell. Wow, I'm somebody gets me. Somebody understands what I'm feeling, what I'm going through. Excellent. This question stuck. Wow. As a mensch had managed to bring his kids to join some of the other kids to join and tell me that kids say this as a all had to think for kids from the garden to the job and mission. Right. All this is good is to create an atmosphere where the kids join and ask questions. Yeah. So kids can ask questions that I was asking can can listen to what I was saying and listen to what I was saying. Throw them out, mensch. I feel it's good to throw them out from the garden and other stuff. And other parts of New York and yeah, so I don't have to and you're not answering. Other stuff that I was saying was upsetting me and other stuff. Mhm. That's actually for kids. And you have to sleep. Mhm. Because cameras takes you off and away from if it's not your original camera. It's not an original inspiration with the same extra the same. And he was doing the extra question but you can't force your kids to do it. Charity begins at home. Charity begins at home and do your own. Wow, very nice and so we talked about the last nice because his mom is one of a kind and the the more feedback I heard was like mentioned again like wow wow wow and it's like I get the men's book show. Um and he he was saying about this that simple is such an important topic such an important as I was saying before. flash gets to join us all of us now. Yeah, for me personally the way I so I acknowledge and mention some anxiety because I know there's way too many people getting the book and shield but I guess I think as I get older but the older like you know how to treat your your your kid. Inside the kid it always has boundaries and what you think but it starts with the older know what you're doing try invest a little more research and say what else the kid was doing. Um I'm looking forward to have children just to see this like challenge of what do I have in my mind. Um again in the stores and the stores are going to be doing the same thing for Christmas. Uh frogs and lions and the Elton John decided. Oh wow. And the times that I remember we had a frog. Yeah. And the kind I get to hear a frog a frog but don't worry about it again. >> The acting is all So my husband is young. They'll do whatever it takes. Are the kings of Duncan? Yeah, yeah. >> But the cider again outside is my Tata. But again interested in me. If me for sale the master from love my age. Love my understanding love my stage and and and from that space. This is the time we have to be a good shot. So desire and important outside. Outside is a my Tata got a cider. Zantac is Zantac is a mom's business right all the daughters that we begin for the kids you should know our story. Right. And the only reason we still exist today but it's good thinking of the story. Right. >> The minute our nation forgets our story. For these I came up with a stand for what's important. It's over. Right. It's like it's all about love. It's all about a minute it's all about love meaning to say it's all about it's all about Hashem loves us. Right. The almighty God is to me. Yeah. >> Like we can talk about God today to tomorrow endless praises on this guy. It's God. And what the grace of God is it's all the haters of grace. The grace of God is to see the me and the niche. He wants us to be happy. Yeah. He wants us to do me he's in some important thing. It's a self-esteem booster by sir. >> Right. Right. Yeah, that's beautiful. Wow, okay. What is it what do we do with them single guy? What do they want to me is I got to get anyway. How does it say again? You can join us in the high meeting with the old guy you must have slept around and bring it out in the hearts. I think my my I might think it's not all the book bring it out in the side of the Torah. Yeah, yeah, sure yeah. So by chance what do we tell somebody like that? >> Very good question talking to him like that talking to him straight answer the question. >> Yeah. I think planning ahead is always the first and most important step in life. You could plan You need to plan ahead. You need to plan ahead of time. I'm fine so And The mama of the big old the the tissue And in what do we cry the chance What all is the perfect side? Yeah. By you the side of the kinder and I the kinder and I kind of have one outside of the keys of grape juice. Wow. We expected that. That. We don't plan on father's side to minimize in the problem. I don't have a lot of break. My family is excited to meet in the tissue young children. You want to take a break? Nobody looks at you. I'm a break. No, there's no issue with that. There's no like Some people it's more moral by the way than a friend capital. Some people are like morally Correct. So you have to plan ahead. And plan ahead start again with friends. Go to the favorite book. Go for a game with the cash plan. And don't overeat. Oh well, yeah. All we are all guilty of that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. And we're enjoying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right. >> A lot of people and that was for me personally a struggle of the three day on to even two day on to. I remember I remember that that was the idea of technology. The constant stimulation of my pocket of a phone for 72 hours. I quit vaping on three day on to by the way. Like I didn't smoke regular cigarettes. Yeah, 72 hours of no this. So So it is hard. It is difficult and that's what people turn to food by the way because at that busy is hungry the emotional this. Like we'll validate this MS and and uh I know mention track and look at the technology I can't see this is silly. So the point is this my heart. In my lifetime and without so long for the right take on the dolls It's much easier And and this is the matter of you discovering it forces you to be in control of your life just you know I didn't tell my son I think I was on technology. We would all be addicted you know like I feel the cigarettes and all this. So you need to socialize. You will need set ourselves up to walk. And if the couple's What actually like? The third young kids are home working. They wanted just for the change. The walk got a little change in the scenery and Let's address twice as long as I can stand. Right. Do whatever you can. If you plan ahead, you're going to enjoy the young kids. This is the chance to young kids. And this is kind of what I'm talking about. Enjoy. Two white parts in yellow pillow. Hello. And after we had Tony. Yep. Just hello. You got hello and I still go. I still go and I do for a while to be no besides this one time. Then I don't have to give my share of this coin. Nobody listens to me. It's in my poetry. What's the reason that I can also see it with the other one. The torture that I swear to God ups and downs with me. Maybe anybody else. Right. And and he was the singer of Gladys Knight. Name the music store. And we don't have to push to go with still with young with with lights on how. And after we had Tony was so nice to just one piece of dry lines after we had Tony you chose me like I said before. Being chosen. I said is interested in me. Yeah. So God wants you about to show my package is No that can be something kicking it. I come on care like such a arrogant like I care about my kid eats. Mhm. When he got control freak. When he got stuck the total nine is all for my kids again. And he said it's all like the dry candies out. Like I said I can't imagine. Yeah. I I can't try I have to wait to see what it's for me. He knows what I can eat. And I don't want to eat pork. I don't want to eat pork. Mhm. I don't see you here. Again I listen to you like I said I have to get out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The the bottom line I look at the minimum. Is that everything I have to do? Yeah. So, Maybe I do. Yeah. I always think some favorite villains Yeah. He's the I wish I'll be that level. Yeah. But he he he was so in love. Kind of tuna my kind of what you saying you you want me to do work for you? Like if if they have to say something to make the I've used to have it like I begged me if so Yeah. You know what I mean? Whatever it is. It's it's uh And we kind of don't focus on And yeah. What do you want to do? What if I yet connect to her? Just hello. Enjoy the holidays. Yeah. So, I love what you just said and I I want to say my favorite part of the holidays is talking about the second day of the holiday because the technology cleanse that we go through. And it's you only have one chance to do this. It's only three day holiday that you get to do it. This is like by the time you wake up on the third day of the holiday the third day of the holiday the third day of the holiday My brain is not occupied. By the way, I remember that for a few years, I wanted to do like the whole holiday. So, meaning I won't have a good eight days You know, I at the end of the day we're we're creatures of habit and I believe that the second day of the holiday I won't have a good eight days on my phone. But the three days by the time I get to the second, third day, it's like It's like I'm to I'm to the level supposed Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, wow, just water? Okay, how was it? Amazing. Did you feel like you dying or whatever? How did you feel feel like >> No, no, you'll be surprised. I had more energy than I ever had before. I was going to ask you about this. And So, how can it be? What the hell is going Okay. When we eat Okay. When you don't feed the body Mhm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right. Wow. Mhm. Yeah. Mhm. What is the last are going to show but the first couple of days might sting a little bit. Wow. I can show you you know what I was Maybe seven days and you're unhealthy and you say Let's say up to seven days. Momus? Yeah, yeah. How much did you probably lost 10-15 pounds in the I lost a lot, yeah. Wow. But I didn't do it for that. I did it for health. I did it whatever you call it. It's I'm telling you it's easier than you would ever believe. Mhm. It's associated with fasting. After fasting you shouldn't drink anything. And we did this one a miss. We did this one a fail. I decided you guys fast and I could drink. So drinking takes care of takes care of a lot of Coffee, tea? Only black coffee, no milk. Okay. >> Tea or coffee? Caffeine free coffee, yeah. Caffeine free tea. Mark Sam, lately I just didn't share my personal I'm doing very well. Like my system is very good. I'm not even sure why. Can Can I never have never just going to say I've never been happy. So my body is just like I feel the strength and the tolerance to me as we more unhealthy food that I would eat stomach is like That's what fasting does. That's what fasting does. It detoxes you from the detox and technology. Yeah. It also gets easier afterwards. All right, all right. The day one, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By the way It's like you have you have dry phones. So even in a sense I'm addicted. I'm very addicted and I and by the way for me sometimes the issue of Shabbat is very hard. It's like See, the beginning. But then after an hour it's like oh wow, this is beautiful. It's also going to get me the anxiety because it's just today people they are very addicted to their pistols and their wives. This is good, yeah. Verstehst? Nein. Meaning they Google the search the AI. >> It's from the name. They just distract themselves. >> Okay. What is the upstairs? This tells you how even more important it is to give up. No, but I had this. I did this in therapy 2 years ago already and I said to keep Shabbos from being anxious. And I remember and I went over with my therapist detail by detail yet the hour of the Shabbos was guide food. There's a problem. There's a problem. 7:00 to 7:00 no phones. So to me it helped a lot because WhatsApp and you know, I try to be off Instagram as well. So it's like Okay, why is that? That's the hour that I have to be present. Yeah. Yeah, mommas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, really. It's all my habits. Habits Habits controls your life. It's not your choice. >> 100%. But it's our choice what should become a habit and what is our own habits. >> Yeah, right. Kids in the phone I just got an email from a woman from England. So Rabbi, I want to know what to do. I followed your stuff and Shabbos got to give a passover anxiety and this and that side. It was back and forth and and I realized it's anxiety of breaking from technology, but for her it was also anxiety. Society is all about some like ultra ultra Okay. But um Passover is a blessing. Passover by me Passover is two things. >> Yeah. Anything else is at all. Wow. Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. But And Yeah. society Society and and it's just it just and it and it's toxic. It goes over to other people. I'm a muscle pie is over. You lost it. Yeah. Um in personal life, business, and a marriage. And I want to share that message to people. I might as well mention this conscious. I think it all starts with consciousness. Mhm. Which I'm not very good at the last to be honest. Maybe I'll take it on as a challenge The really I really want to take 30 minutes a day and hour a day zero distractions. I feel like I don't have that. Like 30 minutes of Again, healthy habits. I got to do a few minutes of breath work. I do cold plunges every day. I do a walk every day. Shut my phone at 7:00. But I remember for a while 30 minutes every day of zero, nothing, no distraction. Sometimes I would spend even an hour in the morning to just meditate. Because you the problem was my heart. I'm not present. And if lead and you know this more than anybody. You're anxious, you're worried, you're tired. The moment you reverse that and you you ask yourself What do I want? What do you ground yourself? You're in the moment. Just yet in the moment. And I want to say that regarding singles. Yeah. I don't have the recipe for you. My story is unique. I can't tell you to replay my story and to post on Instagram. But I just want And this of that the showers even going single I enjoy life. I remember the first time you met me for the podcast. I was depressed. Yeah, and my friend called me to the steakhouse. That's where we met. That's where I started my podcast. The point is down. really I was sad and upset about a bunch of stuff. Conscious and unconscious. But the point is, I chose to to push myself to yes enjoy to give out a podcast and be consistent. We're over 100 episodes by now. My point is, no matter what you do in life, enjoy the moment right now. Yes. You are so excited. I am. I'm actually excited. So I have anxious thoughts about it. It's like wow. It's different. Every family is different, but okay, there's also a cultural difference. And it's like But then I was thinking to myself and this Like but I'm telling you guys but you have to train your brain for this. This is not This is not magic. Like for 1 second and 2 our perspective change. No, it's not like that. You really have to train your brain that you shouldn't have the worries and and I'll be there for you eventually. But right now is the time to enjoy Florida. So relax. Right now is the time to enjoy the holiday. Maybe you'll miss them, maybe not. At that time we'll deal with that. And I always say because it's hard enough to deal sometimes with the present moment, to deal with past and the future is not even the human being is not capable to deal with it. By you taking that on For singles Again, I emphasize with you Like I I fall in the top two, three percent of the bottom was right saying you for a shidduch. But the point is you got to be able to enjoy the moment. By by zoning anxious of who's guys on V long guys on single. Go back to trusting in God. Go back to go back to to being there for you. Being there for you means what's what's right for you right now. What's right for you right now? I think that's That's very good. Uh I I I I I I I I I I I I Because I did enjoy my single because that's what I want to say. I enjoyed my single life. Like that that's that's what I want to finish. Let's have a podcast just on married life. And it got a lot more views than I expected. So I'll jump up it's like 10,000 views or whatever like a solo podcast. And I was like I definitely Enjoy video this right now. God plan for this, you know? So Yeah. So stupid five parts of the mental brain. So I get the two five parts of the mental brain. >> So the logical part Mhm. The cycle of assistant smear and cerebral prefrontal cortex the brain. And we can make a calculations in the front of the brain hot as I get the middle of the brain. This kind of social before and after. Psychological society get And psychological been yet the mental ways but I get to do and office in the garden. Mhm. However not a part of my brain. Ah. And then a part of the emotional part of the brain I don't know what to say here. Right. So when you bring stuff off a memory you get the next as I get this memory I get a lot. The feelings feel the best yet though. You feel scared and anxious. Right. I Right. >> So Get over it. Okay. So the question is how do I get my subconscious to agree and to realize that the fear is over? Right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Right. Yeah, go ahead. Okay. The way to get the subconscious to go along with the conscious is by consciously reprogramming the subconscious. How? Very good. How? While your subconscious clenches up and anxious consciously we're going to order that book decipher. We're going to get that game. I will say that's okay. You you changed your words from before, which is perfect. You said the subconscious. Yeah. So, the result When I went to have more of a positive you can bring have anxiety you can bring now so kind of the words part of me is upset. Correct. I don't know my subconscious my subconscious is this. Yes, we have a connect with someone so the result Okay, let me get in the back. I was my dad. D and she got my dad. Yeah. D has fears D has uh uh anxiety I'm going to we're going to plan ahead. Yeah. We're going to do different and then there's something called exposure therapy. You expose yourself. Yeah. What's the worst case scenario with guidance? No, no, no, no, this is not No. exposure exposure might take exposure. I have no wish I meant to park it from fire. Yeah. So, they expose themselves kind of left alone. Right. And left the souls not kind of left the souls same look at the restaurant not going to forget to bring out to the subconscious of the same of fire of the same of the restaurant of the same of the Right. You expose yourself. So, the guy says to see how this will go so expose yourself to the price of the night plan. And then the subconscious gets to market experience that your price of the next your price will be up. Exactly. Why because some give bring the subconscious and the conscious so by this and then again they were they were they were all of them together and then they were they were they were and then and I have to tell them. Yeah. So, my whole thing but this is the idea. By the way, yeah, thank you. It was beautifully said. Um Like I let you price it but I have a full encounter of after many years of not traveling and I'm so anxious to travel. I used to have a lot of plane and I never had a fear of planes is showing you how And although it is I can see why somebody's anxious in a plane you're trapped in a metal tube. It's once you drive 12,000 ft in the air I get why it's you know but it was a full encounter and you know my heart was smelling down and like this is what was deep is one engaged is like I was going to break in the fear you became a different man. So, I agree exposure therapy is I have been there most a lot of my fears went away. Right. You know, and I was there I remember the first night I was there I was for me it's about being out of my comfort zone. It's like do do the connections man bad days dogs. So it was very healthy. Yeah, for me that was a big one and some other stuff time is it's you can time. Yeah, we have this all of the moments but what was the year do time for a simple reason because Look at time then what you can schedule the podcast so the only reason that we have time is a case of my mission that the schedule shouldn't overlap. So you can find client see what you can do you know what is yeah, they always correct. So miss on time. Yeah, I is a painting is so much you can time. Yeah, so again the time is so good tomorrow how much time did it Take care of this is but the reason this is what I see is the building so I can do something now this is the reason what you can do something in reality is so much it created time for the world this is the greatest greatest yeah, the science is like wow, how was time created but it's camera around time and so the no time when I'm when I was why Other when we have anxiety to remember that it's not so much you can yet and later about there's no to the moment right now so much you can time. Take the case of the place you can time meaning you want to always give time the ego mind loves to loves loves to associate with time. Yeah, I can divide the you can divide in the line what you can do yet later you can do the line you can do the line but this is it mind Not fair needs air time. All you care about is right now. You can send me the path cuz I get the song. Right now. I don't even know what you're talking about and I have some kind of nerve. So this is completely irrelevant. Yankee does all the talking. What size the shoe is? Of the next 24 hours 72 hours. What else do I create something time? Give it to us. Us. customer Okay. Always waiting for things. You're waiting to age. You're waiting to get smarter. You're waiting to What else do I Okay, fine. Okay. No. Anytime I'm waiting for something is again I'm trying to figure this out again. They hit me something wrong with this. Yeah, but if I want to go to You wait still. I wait until it's over you go. So they wait because they don't. I wait until it's done. I wait until it's done. I'm dreaming. No, I was minding the word wait. Okay, I was waiting for me for 8 hours. Yeah, but I'm not waiting for my dreams. You're waiting for everything. You're waiting. You're always waiting for something. >> I I don't think so. No, can't you associate the word waiting as a as a as a painful thing? Can I say? And and and finish painful and I'm just saying you're not waiting while waiting. Waiting for what? For Messiah. You're waiting for Messiah. You're waiting for the war in Iran to finish. You're waiting to see people around you happy. You're waiting for your for your barber to be healthy. You're waiting for your cousin to be healthy. You wait What do you mean when I waiting? We're always waiting for many things. You're telling me uh that you're waiting it in a beautiful way and then and and you're enjoying the process of waiting. That's a beautiful That's a beautiful >> like waiting. It doesn't feel like waiting. You can order waiting for the bus. Right? Order can I in the meantime I call the bus driver and I say Beautiful. That's exactly it. But they walked to the bus. Okay. Okay. You have to understand, most people when you tell them that there's a yacht Get the wagon. Get the wagon. Hope you enjoyed the episode. A quick second to make the raffle, which is every person that comments goes into an automatic raffle of $100. Quick pay sent to you right away if you are commenting and are subscribed to the channel. So, let's pick a winner right over here. This is the app I use for these things. And let's do continue. Pick a winner. And the winner is ErielVision94. So, thank you very much for commenting. Reach out to producer Mark. He'll send you a Zelle of $100. Also, looking forward for stay tuned and make sure you have subscribed the notification button on so that you can see next week's episode with Yossi Brack. Very interesting, beautiful episode. A long conversation so that you can enjoy it on Khalamag and enjoy the episode. Yeah. Just the wagon with the suitcases in the hand. That's the whole idea. Just do mention but they keep in mind that is do mention with wagon yet. Okay. just imagine how painful how do you know much doctor what's diagnosis but by the way yeah but do as we did master therapy do is with the husband making a nice album of the truth that's the goal excuse me and I'm saying it literally like I hope you got a pool for you to get out of the scare and I have left pain in my left foot and went to my upper back and I I spend the day with my husband I was like okay but how do I enjoy the day today we can enjoy my while I was results just imagine an average regular day this is the most fantastic elevator thank you because people are working at this for life and they don't get there you don't have what you have because because but most people are not like that most 99% of people are do not they're they're anxious what's that stuff that's like my opinion I I I love it Ellie I love it and I thought the hands of free and I thought what does it mean friend >> Thank you. But most people your your your stage Yeah. Right. Exactly. So so that's It's a totally different world. Like everybody's waiting. We're waiting and waiting. Constantly waiting. This is your what? I know that. So But anyway, what do you say to the book? No, and the fact that you're waiting is making you in such a desperate energy. Yeah. By the way No, because Guys, the husband and a train is going to hit you. And that's my opinion. Because You're right. Because because Yeah, you're right. But most people don't think that. They're going to think you're They're going to think you're playing games. No, so I'll tell you why. It's an expression for one thing it's so badly, yeah? If you want it so badly, that means also that you're thinking of it way too highly. And this mind I think it's finished the line with was got to give. Got get the kebab, but the over the game I got to under set of challenges with the verb responsibility of money, of going along with the person, of having kids. The whole different set of stresses and anxieties. Right. It will have You want it fine. Want is normal. You either make one and suck it. I'm going to force the issue of a normal level mind at the business down to earth the acknowledge that when the guy is hustling guide came out against a different under set of challenges. Okay. I guarantee you there's no man that ever hustled Or really really wanted Needing is a problem. Wanting Yeah. But if he needed a there's one of two things. Yeah, but When second yeah, it was one of two things. You either made too much of a desperate decision. Right. Or you went into the right decision. Mhm. But you're not going to get anything that you expected. Right. Yeah. Meaning you either a man willing to live It's one thing to expect You have to kind of expect the opposite side of it. Right. If you can't live alone, you cannot live with someone else. 100%. Correct. Yep. I I tell people when they tell me I'm looking for the girl last week And then I was So I was playing wow, what was coming to him. Can do that again. This is a second level of creep. But but people are more But but then again Is he a alliance? Correct. So I always tell people if you're not willing to take yourself out on a date Like It's like it's like simple mathematical I like it. You don't want to hang out with yourself. You want somebody else to hang out with you. So I can think far and wide and gauge pure intellectual like girls and alliance. Like guys at Starbucks on a phone, on a computer, me and my coffee. Wow, beautiful. Just sits in the chair. I used to go shopping. Thank you. Exactly. Guys I I was I asked this question from people. Imagine you have one course you could attend in your life. From the age 15 to the age 99. A 6-weeks course for free. Yeah. Most important course of eins. But which course would you take? Which course would be Which subject was the Which skill Yeah. Which subject, which skill Which one thing that would have changed in the trajectory of your whole entire life. If there was one course that you could have taken from a psychologist or a therapist or a specialist, what would that be? And people And I always say if I could take only one course in my life, which I actually took that course and I'm giving that course to people, it's how to deal with stress. You know? from age zero to age 100 stress-free Yeah, but this is So, people, yeah, you're right. So, that's what I want to bring out. People don't know how to deal with stress. Everybody is always stressed. So, there would be one course a How do I deal with stress? In other words, when you're a muspalah every morning, you need to develop a bunch of give me the skills. Give me the know-how Give me the skills to deal with them. Give me the skills Why shouldn't we teach this to every 13 14 year old boy in Bukhara? Before anything you teach a boy a mild a a young teenager how to deal with this and let them make them >> Yeah. But there's methods, there's methodologies to do, systems to do, ideas to vegan with all my with all my stuff. Correct. And I've been through a lot in my life. >> Yeah. And people always ask me I I deal with it not because I have shoved it under the rug. Right. And because I deal with it and I know how to deal with it with all my stuff. And kind of the stuff that I have have been almost fake the almost enjoying chill and it connects me to all the stuff from from all of my life and everything with all my stuff and all the stuff that I have had. And then we have a million different stuff. You need to know how to deal with stress. Right. And I think that what your life taught you, okay, another shoutout to you is that I watched you what what you did with yourself and that's why I think your podcast and everything is going on is more than anything you're a role model. Menches you walk around with them these guys walk around with a sour face the last thing you want to do with them Yeah. And you chose to to learn how to deal with stress is worse. Yeah. I think that Thank you. >> I wish I could teach people I I I mean people that come to me I teach but I would love to show them like a video that I made ideas and stuff that you do skills Yeah. with all that dealing with stress. Right. If they book her about the stuff that he does the book about the stuff that he does and why is it fancy that don't come on next year it's Friday and they got stuff that they did with six months and 12 months and the same book that they did with them. >> Yeah. And he knows I'm going to be as productive as I can. Correct. I'm not going to take it personal. Right. You know, if you cannot be happy in your master now, you will not be in your next master. >> Yeah. If you were not happy before you got married, you are not going to be happy after you get married. By the way, yeah, that's beautifully said. One of the models that I use a lot is what you explained and we discussed this in the last podcast also regarding happiness, that people think happiness is the goal. Right. No. Peace. Content. Menachem is the goal. If I can go I can go be happy, that's very good. >> If I'm lower than content, then I have a problem. I have to bring myself up to peace. Yeah. But yeah, I think that I think I think mainly what comes back to is that acknowledge that the Bashe of the world. Um and I personally made it a a very strong habit constantly during the day to talk to Hashem. Beautiful. Um and I think that that's what enabled me to listen as stress I've had my fair share of stress, yeah. I have multiple companies and I have a lot of people working for me. There's a lot of things that happen. I have a lot of clients. Things happen. Things go right, go wrong. Again, everything is relative, but you can look at it that way. And to kind of accept as You know, I had one of my biggest clients leave me. They were But you have decided to judge me that's where you should people that know me they'll they'll always they'll never know what's going on in my in my life negatively because so that I can do a toy before them. You know, the year does that and the beauty is is the best effort connect us billion mansion and down story effect my story they feel stand up there's so many different things that happen. I connect to make the most beautiful life. So if I have to give people like a trick that they can do right now is get on the good side of God by believing that he's good and I will see my fact that you be single is the I have so many times I discuss with my wife. I tell her the engaged so for this and I don't get to meet you was the mind is the worst day of my life turned out to be the best. Like in a business so for the job was the job with us yet the enjoy still the food as this is miserable job right now you seek for a better job is a fact. Is connected. Life is about moments. The moments The moments is a neutral the moments is extremely happy and exciting still all of them life is not good and not bad is moments. >> Yes. Hashem created a lot of things that happen. Time is the moment. Is for the moment of the time. As some of the kind of the side when you So when we I don't know. The college But I should be They fire close to the timing. Yeah. Now in some Yeah. No I just such a So So we could decide signing There's a man all about freedom. I'm free. You know. But reflect And So we mark it as one night. We mark it as one night. Mhm. I mark it as one night for the night. I mark it as one night. For sure it's all the work and okay. Yeah. I mark it as one night for sure it's all the work and for the night for sure it's all the Right. Okay. No but then The more Yeah. It's too black and white thinkers. compartmentalize Compartmentalize certain details to I can't advise black and white just try others are mixed with this little kind in between. Yeah. As we get older, it's a gray area. Yeah, so the gray area, the fine details. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, from me Dharma. Ah. Yeah. It's gorgeous back like it talks to me. Well, yes. And and and tuna sandwich tuna sandwich but get the matzah, get the fly get stick of booster Yeah. Yeah. I shall want us to enjoy. To get the shul again nice to get the shul. There's a shul gaziggled and a biggled and get stuck and do when you should make that fine works for some people. Yeah. It doesn't work for me. You go down in a shul. Ah. King in my zone. Whatever it takes. Yeah. Connect to the moment and enjoy the Yom Tov. That's what it's made for. We do the net away. We do the net away. Let's enjoy the Yom Tov. 100%. Wow, beautifully said. Very nice, chabura. We're going to leave it at that, right? And uh you have appointments in Toronto. And uh you want to talk about your podcast for a second, by the way? >> My podcast? Shul and Yom Tov. So basically uh I'm just curious. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I'll tell you. So shul and Yom Tov basically what I'm trying to do is I have missions. My whole life is about missions. So I decided to create my new mission um so I decided to use it when I just started. I interview mention with Zen and healers. The underdogs even if they actually successful mention was in the 10. I was actually about count. >> So, the one option to be dry mention the mention. And and I want people and and we are getting crazy feedback. But It's not about me. I want people to hear But And If anybody that that I could challenge and and also bring like It's about that kind of a thing. I need to squeeze you know time here and there to do it. Okay, my I'll do more. I'm really excited to bring you more. That's that. I I really hope to I want to bring free information for the other. Right. You think people are struggling now or they're doing well? Are they the state of cloudy storm? I would say we're doing better than ever before. Emotionally, because of the awareness that you and everybody else are bringing to the world. I think that just the very fact is about the awareness and and is made real. Um you know, you ask me what do I ask me what I ask me so come down and ask me. Uh Ask me is unbelievable. It's it's it's uh They shall be so we have this scroll, you know, I start with the partial of midbar. So we did four shabbos already. This week we do Hopefully he'll be able to go, right? So the point is in the We can teach them up to smear about life. Such a shame. And I I spent time with the book and this is this is from Thursday till Sunday. No. One on one with book and life skills This is the young man this is the future generation. It sounds like 100% >> I talked to them about life, about marriage, about I'm a Zionist conscious the problem with questions God is the call you call I think my Alice Yeah, free questions without more than darkness freak man They can manage everything the problems Yeah. It is unbelievable sky for darkness. They they create a constant nail. a knife of the saga. What is the same sorry? I I see him as a brother Hassan is Allah go strong with the music question. So I don't know if there's a conversation yet. Goish music is goish music. Get a life. Get a life, dude. Like was master healing the intro was a noise sound goish and it's goish. Music by Hassan is a the whole conversation just to make it simple as I can guess on. Yeah. Music is do to bring in mention to open up their feelings. I hope their music open up their good feelings. So much they So much happy. So much they emotional So much they connected to life. So much they shine to mention. So bring them So much they forget So much they forget to say. Yeah. I think I get anything out of this is goish. I don't know if this is that in the in the politics. In in in the thing. Correct. >> So you need to go to the what kind of emotions and all the hard to get young. I never was the elder kicking on the goish and I got but the hard to get young with connected the ending is the holy thing. So I must say DJ I have to love DJ by the way. If it's DJ What am I going to get for that? What to bet I love DJ. >> Yeah. So if if if someone I have to call to get stressed comes in to go to the mama to get I got to have a house with this. In in this market happy is this goish goish? Correct. If somebody make them depressed is this goish? Yeah. My role yes I will establish in the market My role is about you that is a rose again is this you dish. I about goish is a rose again is this goish. That's That's not a normal That's why I say take a sham into my home. Yeah, but I have no idea. Is this going to connect I can say it has to do with the music for videos. Yeah. You know, we have to stop blaming and showing fingers. 100%. >> to know one bottom line. Yeah. thousand year in their goodness. And it's my And you're 50 year old or 60 year old, you don't like it. Don't listen to it. But I see I'm there. I know what's going on. They are so connected with DJ. Correct. And with the other nine again I'm excited. I love the guy. And the young hunt. I'd leave the beat was the ultimate field out of here is the shows. But the young they love it. They connect with the messages. If you don't like it, don't listen to it. What suggested tonight again it feels like for him. Yeah. Because And again by you the house is on a pain of it. But rather than again I'm kind of list. You got to get in the music that the stuff will happen music they can do. I don't know I love it. Yeah. >> I'm enjoying the music. I'm enjoying the Always. See that. Yeah. But I love the new music. If I wouldn't love the new music, I would have a very miserable life. Yeah. Yeah. Connects us. Yeah. I'm going to lay on the the 11 surely. Right. The vice to the youth connect today. Right. I could have today the 50 getting a minute. Right. But you know what's going on. 20. Yeah. But in reality, about 30. Like it's it is it's it's another generation. But besides connect us to the youngsters, and so you really know what's going on. >> Yeah. Never give that up. Never give up. I got a 50 just enjoying These guys are at 20 grand a year. And he was, I think he really was. Yeah. My spirits are up, so nothing to music. >> Mhm. Whatever, how about it? I'm going to talk about it now. What's it's a useless conversation. Mhm. It's also in tune in the night generation. Sure. You have the pulse. The pulse of the generation is what it's once again. 100%. >> And you should always look at them. So, long as you have the music from the from the youngsters. Yeah. And let's enjoy it. And if it irks you, and if you don't like it, don't listen to it. Correct. And clearly this has to do with the personality. Open-minded and accepting and loving. Stingy and ugly again. Using >> You have no idea what's going to be. You got You got open-minded Right? Yeah. Literally. Like I want to be open-minded from now on. I want to incorporate this that in my DNA. Exactly. And Hashem wants that and Hashem wants us to adjust into Obviously I mark this. Yeah. 100%. 100%. I was going to say she was some kind of technology and they adapted to it. They needed They worked with it. You also see when the car, the cell phone, the computer And they did that. Go. Go. Go. Whatever it takes. Yeah. You know, with us Ah, the world is beautiful. But the world is beautiful. I'm telling you from when our first podcast 2 years ago till now, the amount of open-minded First of all, the amount of information. Think about this. The amount of information that's available is just amazing. >> Yeah. The amount of people that are willing to speak and educate mention this amazing. Yeah. So yeah, you probably got to run, right? >> Yeah. Um thank you very much, Sholom. >> Thank you for having me. >> Thank you. People love what you have to say. >> Thank you, Ann. People appreciate you. You're You're a real one of a kind and thank you for spreading your light. You're constantly sharing. You're You have to have in the master podcast that you should give your input because as much as I would watch it for the guest, I would watch it also because it's you. Hello. That's so nice. Yeah. podcast I got to Yeah. crazy stuff. >> Yeah. >> Right, okay. Yeah, I yeah. Yeah, I'll put some input. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. 100%. Most of my solo parties are getting probably 15. Great feedback. Great feedback. This week's is because is a topic of married life has YouTube at line 1200 about 5,000 views. Like it's impressive. And guys, we have a podcast coming up with Yossi Brack, so enjoy that one as well. Um but yeah, I'm sure we'll keep it up. It's amazing. And really appreciate you being here. Yeah, and reminder to like this episode, share it with your friend that can enjoy. Subscribe to the channel. I noticed producer Nachman made a reason that about 50% of listeners hear in the podcast and then they subscribe. And to me, it would mean the world if you can subscribe. It helps the algorithm. Yeah, YouTube shipped to send me a mention. And uh it just really means a lot to me. Also, if you leave a comment You have to also be subscribed in order to claim the $100. This guy should know for the last debate of saying welcome. So, reminder to leave a comment so I can still give you $100 a quick pay. And um there's also uh bonus content. If you subscribe to the bonus content uh for $10 a month, you support the channel and you get to see extra videos from every podcast that we record. Reminder to also support our sponsors. They keep us going. So, really appreciate you guys. Thank you. Okay.