It’s OK to have anxiety🥵

hello everybody and welcome to another episode of positivity um today I want to address I want to talk about anxiety because I've talked about it a few times and I although I see it still something that people don't want to talk about they don't want to admit about it they're uh probably even afraid to get help for it but it does seem to be that people are struggling with it um and I can say that I myself have struggled with it um and I've learned learn how to deal with it and how to to kind of live with it and how to to not allow it to take over my life so I do have a couple of things that I would love to share with all of you um first to talk a little bit about how anxiety gets created and what it is and why it gets built up in our life and after that we'll try to see a little bit how we can actually prevent it you know in the moment and and how we can prevent it as an in a lifestyle what what things can we do to prevent it um so first of all I I recently had um somebody read to me called me and said that she tried reading me a but they uh the uh mother of the girl said that he's not sure this uh Weber is struggling with anxiety um and um or he has anxiety I'm not exactly sure what she said and uh to which I told the shatan yes respectfully I I do have anxiety just like everybody has anxiety and just like everybody has um you know a a heart and lungs and and a head two feet two toes you know hands legs Whatever anxiety is a is a regular part of life in my opinion it's just another feeling that's out there just like we have excitement and anger and and and uh and fear um there is something called anxiety and anxiety is a gift that we all have which is to worry about what can happen or what might happen or what worry about our work or about our marriage about life um where we're headed um the goals that we have and through this worry that we have through this anxiety we know what to do the right thing is to do um and we see this concept in in of course inam about anxiety how to get over it um I recently heard a very nice ver that you know it says that uh by by yam it says that uh we know that the M died in the water in in the yam but then they were then hasem made a a nest that they were spit out from the sea so that the Eden can see that the MIM are dead the question is why why did they why they the even already knew that they were dead in the water why did they have to get spit out and the answer is that would if if clis would have not have seen them dead they would have worried I don't know maybe they maybe they went back maybe some of them survived maybe they will come and Hunt us in the future so hasem made a nest just to calm this anxiety he made a nest that he showed them look clly the M are dead so we see this concept of of of anxiety um and we know this concept obviously the strongest thing for a ye is to have a Mina which which us usually faith and belief is on the opposite side of of fear and and anxiety so first of all for people that are curious how how did anxiety get into their lives now that we know a little bit what anxiety is how did anxiety get into their lives is the answer is pretty simple we grow up in our environments where we have our parents teachers sometimes even friends growing up and many times the way they feel is best to protect us is through scaring us you know if you don't do this this might happen if you don't learn you might go oh we have this concept of of geham or dying or afterlife that we just that is just tremendous amounts of fear especially for somebody that's young a young kid or a young child a teenager growing up and they're being told about what they're doing right or what they're doing wrong there is tremendous buildup of of anxiety if it's not done correctly of course we are allowed to be taught certain things yes we have to be taught that running into the street as a little kid can be can have consequences so it can be a little bit scary but there is a proper way to do it not just to to yell at a child every time they they took a step into the gutter and make them feel tremendous shame around what they just did um this is a conversation for itself But anxiety gets built up through the years mainly through through our environment and there there's nothing wrong with that but I'm just trying to explain to you how it gets built up mainly through teachers and our parents that are of course wanting to protect us or they have their own little things that are that are bothering them and they project it on us and of course there are there are other factors as well that we know can me sometimes be generational this can be a concept a conversation for itself if it's if it is generational generational if if it is genetic at all um to some measures it is but then we all have the ability to change and to work on it um this is a conversation back and forth and there's many many studies in it and uh I'm sure that there's swam on it I'm sure there Goa books on it but it's fair to say that in some measure it is um and and in some measure it also carries over not just genetically but also on a physical level right so that if my uh uh grandparent you know just in a common sense way right so if my grandparents were people that were in the Holocaust which is for most of us and then they had kids and some kind of fear went over you know whether whether they were the happiest people or the most miserable people after the war a certain level of fear went over and a certain level of fear is is what we carry around now that uh you know maybe something bad can happen again or why did it happen a little bit of anger and resentment around it but it's fair to say that there is that there is fear that we that we carry around with us you know whether you want to believe that it's genetic or not but on a physical level you can see that there is patterns of fear there is many years of fear um in even growing up as a kid and we were told all these stories that that especially that you know what Jews experienced um through the uh ages could could give us a little bit of anxiety that we are you know more uh uh um prone to to to have risk in our life and to have so we need to live with a certain amount of fear and anxiety now a lot of people of course or you might ask about yourself or you might ask about others where has this anxiety been all the years like why why is it only coming out now or why am I having it only sometimes or how come my life was good till now or how come my life was good for so many years or I know this other guy and his life is so beautiful and he never has anxiety like what's happening um but many people ask themselves forsel I know I know for me I asked this question like I had such a beautiful life why did one day why did it just come out and the answer is because we do have the capability of what's called suppressing anxiety we do have the ability to take fear and anger and all these things and and hide it away within us in our hearts in our bodies you know our body stores all this pain and fear and we do have the ability to store it um there just comes a day where this anxiety can start overpour and that's what happens to a lot of people there's only a certain amount to give you this is a concept that many people will understand but many people will be asking what what is he talking about right now and I'll explain it to you so let say that you are able to handle fear and anxiety in your life and you will you were able to have a very beautiful life but then when it comes let's say to for you to open a business or to go into a new job or to start a relationship or to get married you're noticing a tremendous amount of blockages you're noticing that it's impossible for you to do this or maybe you do have a successful business and a successful marriage but you find yourself impossible to go into buying a new house and this is where the anxiety comes up this is where that fear that was stored in there and you believe that everything is fine but here you're noticing wow why do I have a blockage over here why why am I not able to do this and this is what's called old and stored and suppressed anxiety within you that is now coming out and now being expressed um and also because specific anxieties can be around specific things and for everybody that's different you know we all had different parents and we all had different uh friends or teachers so some people have areas in their life specifically that they feel limited while in other areas they might be more open to it so you know and of course we do all have different Natures um that also will dictate how much you you you feel this kind of of of anxiety or not so you know all these things are things to keep in mind but what you should understand is that there you know usually it it it comes a day where you just start noticing the anxiety or you start noticing wow it's been so many years that I've been working in a job only because I had a fear that I didn't even notice is it's there I but I had a fear of opening a business because maybe it's going to fail um and of course there are many different fears fear of failure fear of rejection um fear of not being good enough there is these are some of the major common fears that are again deeply installed with us it's not you can't really put it into words because they are really feelings that dictate our lives and the decisions we make on a daily basis so this is the answer when and how these things come the the the the fear and anxiety comes up um generally speaking actually fear and anxiety usually comes from from ignorance it usually comes from from not knowing and the issue with that is that these like these these feelings get suppressed and then what happens is after you suppress you get depressed and and then depression just leads to to uh uh can lead to a lot of pain and feeling stuck in your life and and not knowing so on the other hand on the other side is is of of of fear and anxiety is is Faith is is is yes knowing is is having believe seeing Direction seeing opportunity feeling the opportunity that's on the other side of of of anxiety um and to get there is is quite easy because both both both anxiety both fear and faith both require us to believe in something that we can't see so not only that but anxiety actually is the same exact feeling as excitement you have two people going on a roller coaster one of them is sweating and jumping and just breathing heavy because they are so afraid the other one is sitting in right next to them and has the same reaction they're breathing heavy they're sweating they're jumping because they are so excited about the opportunity so many times in our life we have anxiety but really it's excitement um or vice versa we have excitement and it could really be anxiety which is that we don't really belong in that place and to what I said in the beginning that anxiety does have benefits to it many times we're thinking about going somewhere or doing something talking to someone and it is wrong and that's why our body gives us this reaction of feeling scared because it's not the right thing to do so never ignore your body never ignore your sensus always listen um you know your body is the one that will always tell you what's right or what's wrong and this is very important for us to get in touch with our bodies cuz many people have lost touch with their bodies so that's that's another beautiful thing to to keep in mind now a couple of common things if you are struggling with anxiety which is I would say number one um you should always know that there is there there are professionals out there if you're having severe anxiety and you feel like you don't want to go out of the house or it's really you know chronic anxiety severe anxiety means that you you just you you're not doing certain specific things that you know you should be doing but there is something holding you back that's the that's that's real real an anxiety you know when when these blockages keep on coming up sometimes we have little anxiety all right you know we're afraid and we just we get over it we change our mindset we change our our our physical state our our being we call a friend okay that's that's regular anxiety that everybody has whether they admit to it or not whether they're conscious of it or not but if you're having anxiety where it's just stopping you in many ways of your life and you feel like you can't go on you feel like you don't want to get mad married because of it you don't want to open a business or you're you're afraid to do so many different things in your life then it's time to perhaps reach out a professional or call a friend about it and see what you can do to get rid of this um you know and get the proper help um anxiety like most people believe is not really a disorder and I don't want to get into this too deep as well yes there are some people that that that that maybe have a a chemical imbalance and they might might need medication this this is something that that comes up and but for most people it's usually anxieties just stored emotions and feelings that they have not dealt in the past with um and all they have to do is take a little bit of a look and and do a little bit of work on themselves or a lot of work on themselves to get out of this Zone to to to become a better and healthier person so a couple of uh of things that you can do in the moment when you feel anxious which is number one um number one uh breathing which is what I personally do whenever I'm driving and I feel maybe anxious or before I go into the show or before I have a meeting and I do this every morning um usually every morning sometimes also before I go to sleep I do a little bit of breathing exercise it can be as little as as uh three de breaths in De breaths out uh deep breaths out um usually the the the breathing out should be longer than the breathing in um you know when you when we do that it's slower it lowers the heart rate which makes us feel better changes our our body um chemistry um another few ideas is is um is is exercising um releases um specific endorphins gets our body healthy and a shape um so that we feel better when these things come up um health healthy eating is tremendous because when you eat healthy fruits and vegetables and and uh not too much sugar not too much coffee what happens is the body is uh just feeling a lot better and it has the the Natural Healthy nutrients that it needs in order to go on and and and have a a good and happy life so for me also in the past year I've tremendously changed my diet to eating healthy um I also drink mostly water I don't even drink that much coffee anymore I drink coffee now almost like only once a week or once a month I mean I barely drink coffee usually I drink tea green tea which is very healthy uh with honey usually so changing your diet is is tremendous um and of course also changing your mindset because sometimes we we find ourselves being so stuck in certain situations and and scenarios that it that it does make us feel anxious you know if we keep on thinking about what will go wrong then yes there is a bigger chance that we'll stay that we'll feel anxious and stuck and just worry so you have to ask yourself what what are you thinking about what are you putting into your head uh another tremendous one and this is really really big CU I know that for myself this is already something that's going on for many years in my life I've completely tuned out of the news and and everything that's going on um politics I am completely out of it I'm completely out of all the news again I I it's I'm grateful for the news that there is out there and I have great friends that do all this uh um not to mention names the statuses and stuff like that but but for me I muted these these uh uh statuses many many years ago because there I just noticed that it doesn't do anything for my life there's no point in for me knowing that there was a gas leak in China or a shooting in in in Texas or or a bombing in in in Russia there there is zero benefit besides the fact that it's just giving me and it could give you more anxiety um and even if you don't notice in the in the moment but then when you're having a rough day and and your mind remembers all these little incidents that can happen in the world and how things went wrong it's just a pile up of making you feel bad um and and not feeling faithful and and happy and excited about life but feeling fearful so this was another big one for me tuning out of the of the news um of course having a a healthy schedule a healthy morning routine where I usually meditate and I Daven and I eat a healthy breakfast um like I mentioned breath work just you know visualization just visualizing how I want my day to go prioritizing my tasks not getting too overwhelmed with my work having a regular schedule um a proper team to do the work so it doesn't get overwhelming and and and all of these things um and same is at the schedule at night you know whether it's you reading a a book at night or or taking time to relax um talking to a friend to a spouse to Children whatever it is all these things will help you feel more calm throughout the entire day and of course as we said walking running or exercising are also tremendous uh help for to calm down anxiety um there is many topics around this and I you know for me sometimes I've experienced even um panic attacks which again I noticed that came from a buildup of anxiety from a buildup of not listening to my body from a buildup of not taking care of myself or not prioritizing my goals and my vision and my future and stuff like that so the more organized we can get as human beings and get clear on what we want um also having a social social um um Circle uh you know many people tell me you know Ellie you're you're you're famous you must have thousands of friends that's not always the case I also need my my close few friends um and I do try to keep keep relationships with with with specific people so that so that I have my friends that I know that if I have something on my chest if I have something that I'm feeling I'm feeling overwhelmed or alone or scared I can call them and tell them this and this is what I'm feeling so I would recommend anytime you're feeling a little bit fear or overwhelm or worry or anxiety a great great way to deal with it is through calling a friend and just asking them of course they have to be a open-minded friend and not somebody that is going to give you um false information or false hope and tell you like yeah just ignore it it's nothing you don't want a friend like that you want somebody that will listen and understand um and and hold the space and give you the love that you need in that moment when you talk to them so I hope this was uh helpful um you feel free to let me know in the comments or suggestions or get back to me personally and let me know how you felt about this episode it really means a lot if you can like share and comment um I would would really appreciate it and I hope that if you are somebody that's struggling with anxiety I just want to tell you that you're not alone it's something that I've experienced it's something that I'm I'm still working on to be to be calm at all times and know how to deal with it I don't believe in in getting rid of it completely I think anxiety is is something that's there to protect us but I am working on learning how to deal with it and how to navigate the world um with the anxieties and and remembering to listen to my body so if you are struggling with it and it's overwhelming for you I'm just here for you and holding space and sending you love um and if you're not then you know just try to put in some positive um some positive uh routines in your schedule that will keep you feeling happy and calm and and positive at all times good luck thank you for listening