Pick Up Your Game

Shawn and welcome to practical spirituality here at Asia tour in the old city of jerusalem over looking at Temple Mount today we're discussing the the oh the subject of inner and outer games so so what happens in life is we generally haven't an inner in an outer game cube do the akhmad Energon with the spin forcing so we have an inner game and then we have something called and it's having an outer game there's an inner game of life thank you and an outer game of life and let's define these two games the inner game of life is your your inner world just your own inner world that you're you're at peace with yourself you're in tune with yourself here you got you recognize your greatness your goodness your beauty your you know you're just terrific like you're just an amazing person in your you're God's gift to this planet if we could hook two jumper cables up to your earlobes we could power all of Jerusalem with the incredible gift that you are in this planet that's part of your inner game but that's just your inner game regarding you there's also your inner game regarding your intimate relationships for example those were married that be their marriage with children that be your children could be a relationship with your parents your siblings think that's all part part of that part of your inner game because these are your key relationships in your life now the outer game of life is your contribution to the world it's it's the difference you make in the world you have to leave the threshold of your door I mean today with cyberspace I guess you could stay home and contribute good but but the the outer game of life is the difference you made meaning the fact that you shared the fact that you shared the air space of this planet like you're taking up room you're taking up resources you're taking up air in this room you know you take up certain amount of space it's it's only the two people are just in the phones or making noise aren't men men don't even have sounds on their phones cuz we don't use purses everything's buzzes there's different puzzles for everything we need it so far it's been only two men's phones ringing you didn't know we don't you men don't have their sound on ever ever everybody you get if you get if someone's trying to reach you you're the only one who knows it women and they're stuck because clothing company student up pockets for you now either the reason is is because it's to be more form-fitting so you know there's no bulging areas besides your belly and the and then the and the other is perhaps maybe it's a conspiracy in that the handbag companies are paying the dress companies not to include pockets so they have no choice but to have ringers or they never know they're getting a phone call that's why they put ringers on phones are for females and males have buzz so it's a very private thing that someone's contacting no one knows that you're getting contacted so the the outer game of life is that when they buried you everyone should live i bless you all to live 120 years in good health it's got to be a good HELOCs I don't want you like 110 saying that damn rabbi I've blessed you 120 years in good health that but when they barrier they should have something to say and it's really scary because in life there are two possibilities what's getting what they're gonna say you're either gonna say about your contribution that's either what they'll speak about if you had one but the crazy thing is people who don't have a contribution so all they speak about it's like is all about there you go okay all about their ego and when I say you go I don't mean literally ego but it would be like you know like they'll talk about the pair of jeans that you never washed or uh but you just kept wearing for like weeks at a time and or they'll talk about the road trip you once took you know and flip the flip the rental car and and there you were upside down for like four hours until you were finally discovered and you know the side of the road you know and you know all these kind of cool stories that just kind of became the adventure of your life you know but you're you know there's a cute funerals I enjoyed those funerals actually because I like hearing the stories of someone's life but the reason why I'm bringing it up is it's because when someone has a contribution go to the funeral of someone who had a contribution like actually did something with their lives that made a difference that they shared the airspace of the planet so when someone had that contribution if you go to their funeral you can sit there for an hour two hours every seat in speeches every single speech is about the contribution no one cares about the blue-jean don't cares about the upside-down funny story that happened to him on this road trip across America in the rental car the the only interest is really the only focus is the contribution and and that's an amazing thing and should be scary for all of us I mean you should be scared that someone's gonna bring up something at your funeral other than what you contributed by sharing the airspace of the planet but human beings cannot help but eulogize based on either contribution or ego of the person when I say you go I mean like this do you know just personal stories and caveats and you know all those cute eulogies you get to hear at funerals of people who didn't contribute much so so this outer game is like super important you have to have a powerful outer game but here's where the issue comes up yeah the reason why I set it up as a Venn diagram is you can easily have a powerful outer game and totally ignore what your game and there are people have a total inner game and and think that they're somehow fill in the outer game I'll give you an example of each an inner game where they're they think they have a good outer game is is I wonder why I get to meet someone more than once a while who's been learning in kollel for the last 50 years they've been learning in Cola for 50 years and now most people if you meet them that have been part of a cola for 50 years I mean the truth is they're not really part of the colos so much because they're teaching and teaching and teaching all the torah they've learned all these years but once in a blue moon I get to meet a guy who's never taught a single class all his life he literally just sits in Cola and learns and then he goes home to his family and then goes back to the cola and then goes back to his family and then he does this his whole life and then eventually they bury him now what exactly they'll say is they studied and that as far as he as far as what he was here to do or whatever who knows but maybe you know there's no way for us to judge we have no idea but how different is that then a story about a guy flip his car this guy sat and studied his whole life he's haven't studied you know the question meaning way it's obviously I'm we're it's a big Lahab deal a guy who took a road trip and that's what they spoke about compared to a guy's spin his whole time studying the prophecies because don't forget Torah study is just studying the prophecies that's all we're doing you're studying Halawa you're in the fine details of the prophecies if you're studying like the whole mission you're studying the actual prophecies if you're studying kabbalah you're studying the secret of the prophecies I understand but all were doing is Judas prophecies these are I'm wearing Sid says so I'm wearing the prophecies I kept my reasons I can always tell it quickly I ran out of the bathroom I bothered to pull my senses in the air I'm wearing the prophecies when I'm keeping Shabbat I am aligning with a prophetic book from Sinai said to keep Shabbat so I'm now aligned with the prophetic tradition meaning all your whole lives ladies and gentlemen who are observant in this room your whole life's prophecy well I thought yeah I know that the community's turned it into religion and now you're like what the hell do I need this for I know you get that way sometimes but but can we just like go back to basics here you're part of a prophetic tribe a tribe every tribe has traditions our traditions are prophetic no other tribe has that tribes have amazing traditions I studied a lot of tribes there I'm really very into studying tribes and I'm and it's crazy how much we have in common with those tribes but all those tribal communities living in the jungles of the world don't have prophecy not even a little present not even like one prophecy and there and it's amazing how honest they are because none of them claim any prophecies yeah I've spoken a lot to tribal people and even tribal leaders and ask them about did you have a prophet along the way here and I know we're we built everything ground up you know we just worked there's metaphysical world until we got the understandings that the tribes been carrying now for thousands of years from our elders no prophecy known as traditions of prophecy we're the only national whole world has tradition of prophecy and by the way when it comes to Christian and Islam when they said talk about a Jayceon and muhammad is that his name is is that when they there used the Westerners use the word prophecy very loosely prophesy to them just means leader or someone you know it means this the person who progenitor damn move Montaldo prophet but by the time JC was killed in a year whatever Common Era there had not been a prophet on the face of the earth for 500 years and he certainly not was not one of them okay they if he was a prophet believe me they would not have killed him they there was not a prophet the prophecy period ended when the second temple was built there were three prophets left and then those prophets passed away and prophecy was over and it was a very strong demarcation that date because it was when the rabbi's prayed that the desire for idolatry should go away and the second they succeeded in getting away the desire $5 tree prophecy disappeared and then it was over but but I'm just saying for all of us realize that everything you do Jewish there's nothing to it religion it has to do with you you're from one of the tribes multiple thousands of years tribes then actually is is coming off of up now not down up building up the metaphysical worlds but up down it's a top down prophetic thing that you're doing and that's super special super holy and super it's nothing to with your parents desires for you to be observant because your parents themselves probably don't live Judiasm as if it's a prophecy you understand they're not living as if they're living in some kind of religious experience and the best way to know is how drunk your father gets on pour the acid test whether your father is part of the prophetic line or whether your father is part of the religiosity religion world which is like totally random but if he's part of the religion world is just how drunk he gets up or if your father gets completely out of his head on poor him until he's just become the funniest guy at the party until he's finally under the table with his head in a bucket the if your father is the drunkest guy at the porn party that means that he understands that everything we're meaning let me put it like this the fact that he was able to laugh at himself and laugh at just everything just to be a laugh at everything for one day to take nothing seriously and just be completely out of his mind shows you that the rest of the year he's choosing something because it's a connection to the prophetic line but if even on poor him he's trying to hold on to the you know the he's still postured about Judaism and like normalcy you got to be normal and you got to be you know you got to stay in control and all that stuff if he's still playing that game on the one day a year you're not supposed to that means that the whole years of bluff the whole years of bluff the whole years just religion you know so good thing was born Jewish because had he been born Christian you'd be doing that you know this is not about choice this is about just religion and brainwash and that's how you know it did you how did anyone notice how crazy Jerusalem got and would notice how crazy Jerusalem got can you notice that do you notice that stayed crazy into Shabbos yeah you notice that like Shabbos didn't seem to make a difference in how crazy things were like a lot of people thought a lot of people thought maybe Shabbos things are to start getting a little more normal and it didn't get more normal I mean we really took poor him out I think somewhere at around midnight Muggsy Shabbos my house was about when poor him went out and anyway which is kind of interesting because the three-day poram is really supposed to be on when it lands on Saturdays which is coming up now now we're going into a whole cycle of perms hitting Saturdays which means you spread all the through Friday cetera so it's three-day porn it's called poor machupicchu lush and we're going into a whole phase of that further in the next decade and the it's really if you thought that was crazy look wait to see what furniture lish is like it's really off the Richter and you barely have strength on Sunday to keep going why yeah I mean there will be Wednesday's in poor miss rush Wednesdays and poor masseuse and just like we had two years in a row now Friday's which is sit insane because it goes into Java so there's no going back to normal the we're gonna have to promise you lashes in a row also but that won't be for another six years to have two in a row there are seven years anyway and why am I talking about all this is that is if you're willing to laugh for yourself that means that you're real about the serious stuff you're not just a that guy yeah you had a question back there you know quit yo started bring you back to the world here he was staring at his device it just asked it loud cuz the door is open now that's all right no one can remember much after Pearl do don't just drink wine so yeah yeah thank you okay now that was the example of the inner game guy that was example of the inner game person who has no outer game and and the eulogy which would just be about his learning right then and by the way Kabbalistic lee learning full-time has a huge impact in the outer world huge so it's not like it wasn't a great example because it does have a huge a huge impact yeah but no one knows what that is and certainly at a eulogy when no one's gonna have epic words but I think they're gonna be able to say what what got fixed in the world because he was sitting learn no one no one's on that Kabbalistic level yeah I was on I was only using this I wasn't doing that at all but it was a good question um all I was doing was saying that this is a bit of an acid test when you die it's a bit of an acid test what your life was about that's all just an acid test and the only reason I'm saying that is being the age of your parents I mean I'm like twice your age is that I've been tons of funerals and we have lots and lots of funerals around here and just because the the for various reason we go to a lot more funerals and you might depending where you live and that's just having been the tons of funerals and just like literally distinguishing it's always about contribution or its stories it's the acid test it's so you know most of us trying to scare you a bit what's your name aurilla is trying to scare you a bit to put on your running shoes you know don't waste any time start creating what they're gonna say start creating now what they're gonna say later stop and stop doing stupid stuff and start doing what's gonna make a difference it's not about other people that you're misunderstanding that forget other people I'll tell you what lit the fire underneath me you know what got me to burn with fire was I went to a funeral of someone who really contributed a lot and I heard them going on and on and on about him and I thought to myself I was just in a crowd of people I was a young guys brought your age I was in that crowd and and held it very okay I was a little older I was 23 but I sitting in the crowd listen a thing after thing after thing after think of these the contribution this person made and this person all it had also an intense inner game as well and I said to myself at this funeral I said if I died right now and now they would have to say something about me whoever they are they couldn't say anything really and what would they say and then not much there wouldn't be much to say and all of a sudden I had this embarrassment my heart for having a mounted - nothing at 23 years old that if I died right now there'd be nothing to say about me you know I just wouldn't have been and there wouldn't mean anything for really and and I lived a very full life to us 23 I mean for sure I loved I cared I did it a lot but it it would have all been more about the story it had been biographical been about my narrative had I died right there and so at that point I said to myself the funeral and I said to myself from now and I'm writing my eulogy I'm writing my eulogy for the rest of my life that that when I die someone will have something to say about the difference that I made somehow on this planet it was a moment of truth for me my life now then there's the outer gate who is the best example in the world of big outer game people celebrities excellent celebrities are like giant outer games and how's their inner game usually really really hard horrible inner games not all celebrities some Melissa Larry I could mention celebrities who are just like inside and out golden you know like John Anderson the singer of yes Pat Metheny the one of the great jazz guitar players and I sat at his concert here in Jerusalem he took ten minutes out of the concert just to thank each musician as if he'd never met them before he'd been playing with these kinds of like 20 years he was just such a Jin this guy was such a gem and he thanked us for more than 10 minutes the crowd thanked us for more than 10 minutes just just nothing but gratitude in his heart and you could just sense his balance and care and whereas on the opposite hand side you got like rock stars like was her name Amy whorehouse or something Amy Winehouse sorry size Freudian slip so anyway you know she's just a long list of people who just choked on their own vomit because you know 4:00 in the morning in some motel you know because they're because they're their inner game is so horrible about meaning the hole in their heart is so big and rotten that the only way to fill it is the applause of an audience or the flashes of cameras if it's a supermodel or the votes if it's a politician or it's you understand the only way to fix this hole was just a giant outer game and sometimes God puts looks and voice or brains or whatever in one human being with some horrible situation of an inner game and they take those skills or those looks or those talents on the road with this big outer game but the funny thing is is that they actually sell magazines on a checkout stands in supermarkets they call them tabloids that are about these people's lives but always about which part of their life it's always about their destroyed relationship now they're now they're getting married again but then like two years later and now they're getting divorced and and it's you know that it's worth you know it's it's more tabloid fodder and and so they actually make whole magazines about their inner game that people love to read for some reason and it just means so much like right now Michael Jackson's like kind of big-time in the news now about his inner life and his horrible inner game and and meanwhile he's called the King because it's big outer game but the horrible inner game and then there was like who was the other King there was another musician was called the King Elvis Presley yeah don't King Prince was always a prince Elvis Presley but I think the guy was like a hardcore alcoholic and I don't know what else was going on with Elvis Presley but I remember it was like there were expose Slater about his inner game okay so those are examples of people with strong inner game with a lousy outer game and then the of people strong outer game allows the inner game but when you're that person where are you when you're when you are that person where are you you're right here you think they're one in the same and so there's certain acid test one acid test is when you die there's another acid test that's over here and that's the acid test of your meet your family the other acid test is your family house your spouse doing how's your are your children doing you'll notice that a lot of people in history who were very big people both both outer game and inner game sometimes but sometimes more figure out a game but there's a lot of families that you might have heard of where they you knew of someone who's that where the kids were kind of hemorrhaging I mean you know there was a lot of issues going on with the kids and or you'll be surprised to find out some couple got divorce where you would have thought like this is the last place there would have been a divorce you understand because because this person's like super special and and has made such a difference for so many people and now is wound up divorce you understand so how is it possible someone that special wound up divorce the answer is yeah they don't have inators good in your game and so this is like a major reckoning for all of us you get that like like here you are young people like some of you guys for example men generally like to make a big splash out there women also do but men really want to make that that mark you know men are the female dogs are not you know urinating on on lamp posts okay it's the males that are trying to mark off territory for themselves and so our games extremely important for us as as men and amazingly there's a thermometer so to speak a meter of how well our inner games doing and it's called our marriages and our children if our marriage is how's our marriage going and we have interesting tour examples of this that are really interesting like for example Moses separates from Sephora for you know quite a period of time to go leave the Jews and only is reunited with her later and then Indian separates from her did you know they were separated afterwards Moses hit whatever level he hit spiritually and it just was no longer you know they were not still cohabitating I don't mean just physically meaning habitation like like then we're not together anymore I mean there were still married he didn't give her a get but but that's kind of an interesting example I don't know what the tour is trying to tell us about that but I bet that's that'd be an interesting mean courting for us you ever think about that yeah Moses didn't really end his life married it's a little weird for like the rabbit we call Moshe Rabbeinu you know rabbis are married and if you imagine how far would my career have gotten if I had stayed single all these years and would you be coming to my class if I were this single guy this charismatic single rabbi you wouldn't be here right now an Asia tour wouldn't hire me if I were single I wouldn't been hired by Asia tour had it been single no one's going to a single rabbi and meanwhile Moshe Robina was single ultimately at the end of his life he was also most of the Torah that supports doesn't seem to be involved at all certainly the times of the egypt and the plagues and the leaving of egypt and all those key moments she was taking care of the kids in Midian and so this is a I'm just saying that I'm just giving you this like crazy thing to think about I'm not answering any questions right now especially because it's time for us to finish and I do need to finish but I'm just putting it out there especially for us men is to know that our families are the thermometer of our marriage and families are the thermometer of how real our inner game was families doing great you're in the games real your outer game means something tell me does your outer game mean anything if your inner games no good it's a tough call I mean what if what if your outer game what if you're just what if you you're like busy saving the world you save tons and tons of tons of people and then you get upstairs and gods like yeah but you forgot your family what do you think do you still get reword for all the work we did or did you blow it did you did you get three word for everything you did or did you blow it I would bet all the men in the room would say at least get reword for what you did the women would all say you blew it whatever today I don't have a lot of answers for today today was just more to get everyone's thinking and on this subject this subject of the inner and the outer game and that the bluff of the outer game the fear of the outer game when we've got a big inner game we're afraid to make a difference the reality of the fact that in the end it's gonna be known whether we were about ourselves or whether we're made a contribution the fact is you can make this big contribution and totally blow it if in the way you know it is how your wife's doing or your husband's doing or how your kids are doing they're the sign for how you're doing so I don't have answers for anybody but I do have a way to gauge life and how you're living your life and so this is this is kind of the gauge that you see on the board here I think I must take your question outside unless you want to ask it quick and maybe I'll answer it ourselves yeah show me everybody it was a pleasure and please join my club it's a young Tom media Club young Tom media Club calm and all it's doing is helping us pay for staff to make sure this message hits more and more people [Music]