PIC 2024 R' Feldheim All You Need to Know About Defining Gender

all right perfect timing so here's the story this is this always been one of the biggest topics in in kirv when when I started doing Outreach many years ago I was a rabbi out of town and you know people people avoided our like I it was course and I would whenever I would meet somebody and you know they would come to my house for said I would I would say like how come we never saw you before so the answer nine out of 10 times the answer was something to do with feminist issues you know you don't have m in your sh you don't give women Alias you you don't have women rabbis women don't count for a minion you know no women Bal the again every era has its issues you know the certain when my grandfather came here after the Holocaust the obstacle to yish kite was you know he he got fired he worked in like I don't know over 30 30 he was a tailor he he would take his he he bowed money to buy a sewing machine and he would uh take a sewing machine and get hired by cleaning stores to be a tailor and then every every Sunday he'd be fired for not coming in for shabas and he would take it to the take his stuff to the next cleaning store and get hired once in a while in the busy season they would keep him for an extra week or two if they had no choice but still he managed in the first year he worked hard he saved enough money for one month rent of his own store and then the second year he rented a store he never had a problem again he raised kids from kids and he had a from house but that was you know in the in the late 40s early 50s today that's not the problem today if you get fired for not working on chabas you know you get the right lawyer it'll be the best thing that ever happened to you you know you won't have to work on Tuesday you know like uh so but over the years things changed when I started doing Outreach on campus pures and this was the issue the issue was all the laws of men and women and that's where the break you know the break of people unable to take Judaism seriously because it was so far from the way they saw the world the way the at least in those times they wanted to see the world was that we're we're the same there's no differences men and women are the same all the differences that we talk about are all artificial created by men to control women the P patriarchy you know today today we're uh it's way past that topic you know it's uh today there are many genders it's everybody's thousands of genders so this might be a little bit dated of a talk it's not uh I haven't done this on campus in a long time you know because uh that's not what they want to talk about all they want to talk about are are if there are genders not let alone not what the gender roles are but this this year is for people who are are from to be able to precisely Define genders what is the t's view of men and women are there real differences are they artificial what's real what's different and I think I think what people think is the weakest topic the hardest to defend in yish is probably our strongest suit it's the most beautiful thing it changes lives when you talk when you communicate this to people and we'll see I'm going to share it with you and it's diff probably different than what most of us think and uh okay let's let's get to the point okay so let's uh so I'm going to start with a just an interesting question just so it'll be a little philosophical for the first two minutes and then we'll get very real but the philosophy of it is is is why would there need to be genders in the first place if there's a God who created the world why could he just make us all the same why did he have to start with the groupings and divisions what what necessitates that that's so most people say so you could have kids you know but that's not scientifically true right if you study basic even basic biology there are one-celled organisms there's mitosis you know an amiba wants to have a kid it just splits it divides it's so convenient you know you never hear of amibas jumping off Bridges they don't cry in their pillows they don't uh you know they don't go into schools and shoot 30 random people it's uh so life would be be so much more simple if we didn't have these divisions you know so what what wouldn't exist without genders or or what or any division why did God need to divide Humanity into two separate you know chro chromosome types you know x's and y's why why why did that have to happen What couldn't be without that so the the answer I think is the mo in the most basic way is and this is where again the philosophy part don't get lost in the philosophy is that our goal is to experience Perfection that was God's intention in creation he wanted us to experience godliness whatever that use whatever word you want he wanted to give he wanted to to sheare Joy the problem is that it's impossible for any human being to experience Perfection because there the mush I'll use is if you if you're in school and you're given a test and you're only given half the questions on the test the highest grade you can get is a 50 it's impossible to get more than the 50 if you only have half the questions and in the test of life in the challenge of life it's impossible for a human being to ever have more than 50% of the questions on the test just the nature of existence I'll explain why in a second but if you can only have half of the CH what are the questions on the test of life these are our challenges it's only possible to have half of all CH maximum half of w challenges so if you Ace life and you're perfect you do everything right you're a sadic you like you only get a 50 why is that so because there's what what are the challenges of life what are what are if you had if you had to sort of like organize it in your mind if you see Life as a test with questions what are the challenges of life and those are our situations what's your situation if you're rich you have a rich person's challenges will you be arrogant will you give Char charity will you get lazy if you're poor will you give to Daka will you shear will you I'm sorry will you will you will you work hard will you persevere will you be jealous will you complain will you steal if you're smart will you teach will you shear your knowledge will you be arrogant if you're not smart will you persevere will you remain ignorant will you come to hate knowledge will you make fun of scholarship will you work hard you come from the broken home or a happy home the right of the tracks the wrong side of the tracks you're outgoing you're shy every single trait in life has an opposite trait and it's impossible to be both and if you tell me I was 30 and Rich and 50 and poor that's fine but you were never 30 and poor and 50 and Rich for every single test you have in life there's an opposite test a mirror image that you weren't exposed to it's impossible to be both who you are and the mirror image so it sounds like what I'm saying over here there not too challenges it sounds like an infinite amount of challenges you need to be need to create a rich person and a poor person and and a smart it's not the truth really you can neatly organize all the challenges of life based on what I just said into two categories what are the two categories like if I was making a chart intuitively we would all know where to put things on a chart if I started the chart and I put Rich here and poor here and then I said intelligent and not intelligent where would you put them so we would put intelligent under the rich and and a happy home and right side of the tracks and all those kind of things we know where they would go good-looking athletic talented good voice and the other side all of the challenges so what would you name those two categories if each one of those is a challenge what are the two challenges what would you name them you know not it's not good and bad it's not that's not a challenge I need a terminology that describes what is the challenge of the gifted person and what is the challenge of the person who's lacking in whatever category it is that's what that's a definition what's their challenge what's the challenge of have not what's humility and ambition that's nice what humil okay that it's interesting that's that's that's the job of of the rich person humility no that's a nice trait it's it's can you do more to use it properly to defend it to to maximize his talents to be effective and right so there there's the challenge of the have knots which is to achieve to climb if you visualize Life as a ladder and one person's on the top of whatever it is and one person's on the bottom so it's very easy to visualize the challenges one person's job is to climb and the other person is to defend their position and to do whatever you do at the top give guidance tell them how to do it Whatever It Is men and wom well well they know what the topic is you know what I mean so like uh you know you're not getting any gold stars for that you're going to have you're going to have to do something a little more significant over here okay unless I give this the remedial class and I'll give you a cff already okay all right right men and women amazing men and women so okay so so Hashem created he why is it this way well I want to minimize this the philosophy part and get into the real stuff so I don't want to open any cans of worms I want to keep it neat and trim life is a ladder there are people who are born without gifts and people who are born with those gifts the people without gifts have to climb the people with the gifts have to achieve these are a little in a little deeper way to understand that these two tests really are because there are two aspects to Godliness when we speak about Ras or spirituality in Hebrew we have two different words that that people think are synonyms but they're very far from synonyms we talk about godness we talk about Kad kados and tahar kados the tahar right what but they're two they're synonyms they're good spiritual virtuous but really they're the Opposites you achieve kadus you become Kadesh you preserve and defend tar tahara is you start tar and you don't you preserve it you defend it Kad is what's the opposite of kados you start and you you achieve you have to be you defend so if a person wants to experience godliness so you need to experience kadus and tar each one of them is a different type of godliness and therefore God divided every Nish in half and he gave half of the N the job of Kusha and half of the Nish the job of Tara one half of the Nish is Born the bom ladder and one's born in the top of the ladder what does that mean that one half is poor and one half is Rich one half is smart one half is not no what is it what is if you wanted to make it the neatest thing possible it's all one thing Perfection is godliness so one half of the Nish is born Godly and one half of the Nisha is born with the absence of godliness that doesn't mean and these are men and women we believe that a woman is already born on top of a ladder she is born with all all the traits that the Torah uses to define God she has at Birth loving compassionate sensitive kind caring selfless deep sensitive shearing caring and we believe that a man is born with the absence of these traits selfish arrogant lazy lustful argumentative combative comp competitive now we don't think a man's a Rasha or a woman's a tadas cuz a man is not reward punished for being born this way that's how he was created he'll be judged at the end of 120 years how many rungs did you climb up the ladder what did you do with yourself and the woman is not rewarded for being born Godly she'll be judged at the end of 120 years how many rungs did you defend did the world succeed at degrading you did they slep you down did you lose your majesty and your dignity and your godliness and this is the basic philosophical framework so now we could start to to plug in data and look at it from a real standpoint so taking what I said at face value just accepting it at this stage in the talk I think it'll become clear as we go along but thank you but taking it at let's let's go through so let's say this is the truth that a man's job is to climb the ladder and the woman a man's job therefore is kadus and the woman's job is tahara and a couple together can achieve kadha and Tara and that's called godliness and that's okay so let's let's make it real so my job is to climb the ladder and I have 120 years to clim the letter so every one of us is now given a Yer to and a Yer har so what would be because that's the challenge the makes life challenging so what is the drive that would help a man in his mission and what's the drive that hurts him what is the challenge yeah stepen Wright has a joke you got you know stepen Wright he's like old school comedian so he says my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier I put them room like let them fight it out you know so like but that's life that's a good way to understand the and thear you know we have we have two different things opposing things going on so what is the humidifier and the dehumidifier in a man's life if his job is to change and to grow and to to raise himself to inoble himself so what's the what if you wanted to help someone climb ladders someone's job is to be a climber so what is the greatest thing to give him what character trait what would you what would you imagine would be the greatest asset in charact ambition ambition beautiful the Yater Tove of a man is ambition for many people this is fascinating many people think that the Yer that ambition is the Y right it's like uh no the holiest thing in a man is his ambition what's the Yer of a man very simple what laziness beautiful and every man that ever lived is so easy to so simp you can oversimplify every man who ever lived as a struggle of ambition versus laziness to the degree that his ambition overcomes his laziness he will become amazing he'll become knowledgeable kind powerful athletic Rich who going to climb all the ladders whatever there is I you know why you climb it because it was there you want ambition is there a mountain I'm going to conquer that Peak and there's many Peaks and in life you one trade of ambition will allow you to conquer all the Peaks the only reason why you wouldn't choose to conquer a mountain is that there's a better mountain behind it and we conquer that one so ambition says let me become all that I could be the best I could be laziness now the truth is you can get a little deeper that's not the point to this talk it's other talks but laziness is not really the root you have to figure out where laziness comes from laziness is a result it's not an actual trait it's a child of of Shame and in security and whatever there's there's a bunch of other things but we don't have to get that deep for now we'll keep it simple the challenge of a man is ambition versus LA let's do the girl side now we'll keep on adding more detail it gets cooler but start simple and slowly start to add flesh onto the skeleton that we're creating so what would be theer to of a girl if a girl is already born Godly with all of the mid of hasem so what's her what are you going to give her that's going to help her it's not an easy question s is not a trait what's a trait okay it's not a bad answer to truth what's the trait Resolute that's a nice trait that's a nice word what does that what does it mean to what what does it mean good good you said maybe say I like the word it's a good word what what kind of Stark Stark is a is a generic adjective what type of you I'm not knocking I just want to I want to nail down a word that everybody can easily wrap their heads around I used to do a Shear gateways in the old days we used they used to do a an event in Manhattan for not from Singles Manhattan's like a black hole of marriage like nobody gets married it's very sad so they made this they had this boat ride around the island of Manhattan called soulmates and they had like 500 men 500 women they did it a few years in a row no it was always the same 500 people of each nobody ever it was like very sad but they were they were they were trying they were experimenting trying different things and the first they had every deck had a different kind of you know it was the early Sushi days before I even heard of it and it was a barbecue on one deck and and and they realized that what happened was the men were just running up and down getting the food and the women were waiting for someone to talk to them so the second year the second year they decided what we'll do is let's have a Shear on one deck everyone will get together for the share and then they'll mingle after the share so that's when they I was V the second year and they wanted some kind of they were not from people so a gimmicky share not nothing too heavy it was we did Torah and the Zodiac your Judaism and the the Zodiac your Torah horoscope you know like the ma it was a fun Shear everybody came to the shear as soon as the shear was over all the men ran to the food and the women many of them came up to where I was speaking and I thought they're going to say that was amazing it was so good what's my horoscope that's not what they said what did they all say they all said so who do you know for me they all said at the time I was doing a lot of shum in the city so I didn't know a lot of singles so I asked everyone what's the so what are you looking for and I was very surprised by the answer this is a real research study because I did this over a few years a serious sampling of secular Jewish successful Manhattan women these are women probably in their basic low3s you know high 20s low 30s successful great apartments Great clothing great friends everything great jobs missing a husband so what do you think they answered I was very surprised in the beginning what their answer was it's not I expected some romantic you know mushy answer what normal okay that's sort of the answer every what did they say like uh they said every woman they had truth there's a few different ways they said they all use the same adjective but the same meaning imagine I spoke to 150 200 women one night three years in a row so it's a real it's a real research you know it's real it's a real real valuable study here's what they all said stable secure grownup responsible mature grownup up stable secure responsible not a head case ready to settle down I imagine they had a lot of negative experiences really cute great guys who just don't they're just cute they're just really cute great guys and cute is the opposite of grownup you know it's like uh you get away with being being a flake you're not a flake you're adorable you're cute you know it's like a marketing job on flakiness so but I realized this is amazing thing this is really the torah's view this is what the to of a woman is if you're already born Godly so what is the Yer what drive a drive to secur security and stability is the holiest Drive in the world because you're already Godly you don't want anything to move you see if a man had a drive for security and stability would be a disaster he'd be sitting on the couch with the beer in the remote saying nothing ever changes you know Glo me right here staple me to the couch you know like it's a relative drive if you're ready top of the ladder then the drive for security and stability is amazing okay so the of a woman is security and stability they're very frustrated often that men don't have that drive but it's a braa it would be a disaster and and we count each other we'll see how how that works together later in the talk but what's the woman's Yahara this is a little more difficult what's the Yar what what is the what is it's very easy on a man ambition or laziness what is what is the opposite lit man okay I I think that question needs a hug not not a not not an answer ohay what happened okay somebody give the man a hug wrong give him a hug okay H I give good hugs after the class what my mother used to say that the woman tried to to to destroy the man but the second that she destroys him he's he's finished finish all right that's not my that's not my answer what's my answer what's the answer what is the woman's I learned the hard way this is part of we're going to see part of the men women phenomena I can give a Shear to to men and say 1,000 Kus I can rip holes in everything you think is good about you I say one little thing little compliment the guy's happy really I have potential okay I'm a total disaster but I have potential okay on the girls I noticed that I could say you're godly you're perfect you're amazing I say one little Yahara and I lost the whole crowd everyone's done with this year it's like we're going to see why we're going to see why we're g to see but but so I can't even say it even if from I can't say what the is I but I came up with a scenario that short sort of Paints the picture and you can see it for yourself if every girl wants a guy who's stable and secure so how come if you go to a bookstore and you go to the romance novel section how come there's never ever been a romance novel with an accountant on the cover never like what happened to stable and secure like what's what's with the pirate like like the guy doesn't own a shirt okay he hasn't had he hasn't had a haircut in eight years where's the civilian security you know so the girl say yeah well we want him to sell his ship and become an accountant you know I'm going to get him I'm going to sell the ship I'm going to get him a suit right so what's what going on excitement what she wants excitement what's what's the word it's it's stability and security I call it fantasy okay St stability insecurity and fantasy and that is this opposite as the man's struggle of ambition and laziness but they're very different struggles they're literally mirror images of each other so let me let me show you a couple of cool things just before we as we add on more data this already this small framework already explains 90% of the questions people have on Judaism regarding genders there's so many Mitzvah that men get to do the MIT men have all these Mitzvah and women don't have these Mitzvah so that's very insulting they have a the women have a right to be insult if there's a God he better be fair right that's the basic Med of's a so how is it fear if I make a birthday party for my kid and I invite his whole class and everyone gets a bag with lollipops and those blowing things and yo-yos and chocolate bars and one kid gets asparagus right that's messed up right that's not it's not a right so that's it's injust so how could Hashem give men all these cool Mitzvah and women like you could you know it's not fair so we have a right to be upset what's the answer to that question just because we from doesn't mean we we we we we should accept things that are injust what's the answer don't the answer is that mitos are not prizes who told you they're prizes if you're giving prizes you have to give everybody equal prizes mitas are tools they're the tools you need for your job if a man's job is to climb he needs a certain set of tools and a woman has a job to defend her position she has a different set of tools so we have two types of mitzvos mitz positive thou sh do mitz and thou shalt not mitzvos if you were imagining how those mitzvos line up with these jobs how would they line up what what what which what are the mitsos to help you become something do do thou sh mitos what are Thou shalt not mitz all the don't fall so women have all of the Thou shalt not mitz apply to a woman the thou sh MIT applied to a man he has to climb why there more negative okay there's more groupings there holiday this this this this also there different that like not really more because like 71 of the Thou shalt not mitzvos 69 well 71 Mitzvah of the th of the are Idol worship it's really it's really one Mitzvah but there's 71 different ways to couple of them are positive Mitzvah to to hate the art of worshipper it's a positive mitzah but over 65 of them are negative mitzah okay so it's it's it's really much more positive just the negative ones have much more you flesh them out into small like shabas is one MIT we have 39 it's one you know but okay okay so where are we so uh so now with from people I have to get a little more Nuance because you guys know you know why you have to keep me honest don't don't be shy you know vasha which mitah what also okay because you can't fool it doesn't help the climb if you're going to like right you're not you have to maintain R but the is to climb but what's but women have MIT which which MIT don't they have only a subset the time bound so I don't want to get too involved I'll give you a little hint at the answer it's a cool thing to show to Shear but it's his own Shear to show how it really works if we were to analyze like men and women in the world trying to do their missions and you have a man with his ambition and his laziness he's trying to climb and you he got one wish you gave him one wish what is the greatest gift you could give him on his quest to achieve Schamus in life he has ambition and laziness he's fighting it out you you can give him anything what would be the greatest asset to give him if he has to climb climb the mountain climb the ladder OPP the ladder is there the opportunity is there Fair he already has the opportunity the job is defined the drive is there the other Drive is there what does he want these I maybe I'm asking it's these are all good answers my answer is the ultimate bet time because if you have a journey to to to accomplish right you have a test with a certain amount of questions the best thing I can give you is more time more time you climb that the long the more time you have the greater chance you have to get to where you're going time is the greatest gift for a man if you're a woman and you're readyy godly and your job is to hold on and everyone's trying to slep you down what is the worst thing that you have time cuz the longer you have to survive there's no greater Arena to see the difference in life than the attitudes between men and women to time men love time they're in no rush and they're they're and the woman she's time is everything she's she's in sync with time because time is the program that she is up against and okay but it's it's a you could see this a can of worms that endless but just to put put it in your head to think about it women have limited time to have children everything everything the whole mission is is they're in rush you know they got or they're up against the clock that's a good way to say it up against the clock and the man is you know freeze the clock you know like he he has no okay we'll see this is it's still a little shallow at this point but so I get on colleges I give a muscle because you have to get people's attention so I have a very good muscle but the musle it's a little little edgy when people you start to lose someone certain things that you could say that everybody wakes up so I say like this I go like explain why we have n have more mites I go imagine I own a tanning salon and Michelle Obama walks into my tanning salon okay and I give her a look like this I go like am I a racist is that racist that look what do you think no why not cuz it's stupid I don't do it for white people no there's no point for her exactly it's not I'm not racist I'm so flattered you chose my tanning along you take a picture with me you're like I'm the biggest fan it's so cool I just want to make sure you know what we're doing here like you got that covered if you want to come anyway it's fine but maybe you're making a mistake they want what you got you're already there if you you're welcome I'm flattered I'm so privileged that you chose my establishment I just want to make sure that this isn't the mistake you understand what we do here it's not racist because she's a already tan this is not my objection because it's just a it's a pragmatic concern it's exactly the same thing the fact that women don't have mitv the Mitzvah it's not that the Torah is sexist it's that you're already there the woman is already Godly the mitz are tools to help a man achieve what a woman is born with innately we need props and and operations and things to allow us to become what she already is that's how we see mitos and it's not nail chauvinist at all it's Aus it's these These are tools okay I want to give a couple of proofs of this let me see if I there are two questions that people ask you guys are a very quiet nice crowd so anything bothering you this there's two questions people ask at this point yeah so if the misos are just a tool why do you say shal okay so it's okay that is they have more mitvah okay so I I'll do the ISA later in the talk I want to get more out of the way first that'll part it's part of the talk but is there no growth for women oh beautiful so question number one is a woman doesn't have ambition what are you saying woman can't have ambition what she has nothing to do she already on top nothing to do that's question number one it's a very good question number yeah if I understood you correctly did you say that men need women for no I didn't say anything about the inter relationship yet of men and women so far I'm treating each one separately we'll get to relationships but the first thing is right the F the first thing is we're defining just that a man's job is to CL his job is kadha to become kadush he's born non- goodly has to become Godly a woman is born Godly her job is to defend her godliness she's that's called Tara she's two different go with both and if you think about it they're exactly equal they're literally the same ladder there's no difference in their Journeys they're just going up and down this ladder from opposite directions totally equal javs but opposite at the same time it's a fascinating structure Kad and Tara the same struggle from two opposite angles okay we'll see how we that's the next step is how we interrelate what's the second question the second Yeah question the woman is presuma be on top of the ladder yes so that means that the man is supposed to climb up the ladder yes where do the woman go stay up there it's a wide ladder a why very a wi there's a there's a throne at the top question there's a throne at the top we could all okay all right so let let me just what's the second question comes up so if a woman according to this if a woman if no one asked it I shouldn't do it I'll save time I'll say the question I'll maybe I'll answer it later cuz I feel like I'm taking too too long the uh if a woman if a woman fools does she have to do MIT then why doesn't she have to do M if she fools right right that we assume that that's not the case right so why not according to this structure the MIT trip up that's a valid question so I'll answer the first one first does a woman women don't have ambition so the answer is sort of yeah women have something very similar to ambition but it's not ambition is the desire to become something the woman is already shim so she has drives but the woman's ambition is not to become it's to accomplish with who I am to overflow a woman's ambition is creativity and nurturing giving inspiring it's the same drive it's just what when the drive to do and you're you the man's Drive is to fill his vessel the woman already feels her vessels full she wants to overflow she wants to accomplish what she can with that I call a woman's ambition creativity accom like overflowing and a man's ambition is to fill himself there's subtly different but they're very but there's significant differences okay let let me give you some proofs because I'm saying it's very controversial especially this is a cure of weekend so you really want to hear how it's done in the field so in colleges is very important to prove this what I'm saying is literally it's the opposite of their whole world view their world view is that men and women are not the same to say that their opposite is like impossible and I we're saying literally that they're opposites so you have to prove it so I have I'll give you a few proofs fun proofs and I'll give you a fun I'll give you one of each like fun proof serious one solid very solid ones so the first proof is I need a guinea pig over here all right sadic okay see this sadic over here what I know he was a nice young guy okay you everone see I've been watching you a whole day you you have a lot of potential no no no not St you have serious potential right now you have to blush more okay you have to you have to play along with me you can you blush on Dem man right men love being told we have potential it's a really cool thing don't ever tell a woman that she has potential so it's a very dangerous proposition right very dangerous why how could it possibly be that people could have such opposite reactions to the exact same phrase the reason why a man loves potential because we don't have any expectations that we're already perfect potential means that I am a master climber I there's a deeper reason also is that normally a man has to choose between ambition or and laziness if I if I if I have ambition if I if I want to be great then I have to climb the ladder I I satisfy my ambition if if I want to sleep I'll sleep and satisfy my laziness I have to choose I can't have both but there's a trick when I say potential I satisfy both drives cuz now you're a somebody I have number one a potential but I can do that lying in my bed it's satisfi it's the one trick where you can satisfy your laziness and ambition at the same time you feel like a sh in the world of ambition I don't have to do anything it's just it's theoretical but men like ambition go it's not an insult I don't expect to be perfect when you tell a woman that she has ambition what are you insinuating right I'm sorry they have potential when you tell a woman that she has potential what are you insinuating now potential is a compliment it means that you could be great right so how's that an insult not what she's not Shing now so what so I want you to I want you to say the magic word I want the girls to say the magic word if if I say that you have potential that means doesn't that means you could be so so amazing and you still have potential you can be amazing amazing amazing and still still have potential so what must you believe if you're insulted what must there's only one word that would explain why no matter what you're insulted by potential what do you have to believe I could say You're great and yet potentially you're insulted you're really great if you're insulted by the word potential means you believe you already what perfect that's the only way it makes sense you believe you're perfect but every girl ever say this to any campus is in insulted by it so that means every girl in the world believes she's perfect no so the answer is yeah and there's nothing wrong with that that's what the T says it doesn't let me I'm going to show you I'm going to show you let's see we're starting okay now you I could say I could say you have potential as a pilot in in nuclear physics in a niche thing but generic potential as a human being they don't want people don't want to hear that don't people it's it's it's it's it's I already feel like I'm there let me show you let me do let me get more intense I'll do a fun one first The Secret of buying gifts you know what the secret of buying gift for a man is the more stuff it does the better if it's 1,400 And1 then the guys you know you buy a tool set with 800 pieces if he finds out there was another one for $20 extra with 87 pieces is like those 17 pieces kills him right can you return the whole thing and get the better one I want the fact scanner copier with the Wi-Fi and the the more the more metal the heavier it is the more utility and functionality Batman's belt inspector gadgets shoes you know this is what we want as men what's the secret of buying a woman a gift if it does anything of function whatsoever it's a disaster jewelry flowers a letter y cuz if I give a man a gift that does something what I'm saying is here here's some tools now you can you get the job done better quicker here's you're ready you're ready for the job if I give a woman a gift that does something what am I insinuating that you're not there you were missing this and I got it for you I got your back okay like and anything even the most benign thing is a disaster you get like a a blender it's like oh I had chunky smoothies like what was like who had smoother smoothies you know like the secret of buying a gift for a woman this is what it should say from the tyy perspective it's I want to buy you something you're so amazing but you're already perfect so I don't know what I could buy you so I'm just buying you this to Crown your Perfection okay that's what it says okay I'm buying you some jewelry to Crown your Perfection okay this is this is this is the secret today you have a little more leeway like when I was dating like you couldn't buy technology because like you bought like one of these Palm pilots in those days it was like called a personal digital organizer right so if I would you would buy that for a girl she would go like oh I'm the one who's not organized you're the one who's always late I'm always today you can buy technology if you if you buy Apple cuz apple is not Apple's an accessory it's like jewelry it's not it's not you can't buy Android products but if you buy Apple it's a nice gift because it's really jewelry make sense you ask him okay okay that's right so that's the secret so this is the rule again this I'm being cute but everything I'm saying is a little exaggerated a caricature because it's like a one hour share we're not going to like explain everybody in the universe but it's a very useful framework to flesh it out on your own and figure out the nuances I'll give you a short proof when I was a kid we had neighbors who owned a toy store and they moved away and we got all they had every toy in the world they had like GI Joe dolls with every accessory they're called they're not dolls and boys they're called action figures we had gii Joe every GI Joe action figure the soldiers they all had built into the plastic a different scar on their cheek they were all unique what was their scar you know they never made scar Barbie why not because there's two different types of Beauty in life an a scar says this guy's a climber that's a sign of calluses and scars a sign of beauty if a girl has a scar what does it say she's having a little bit of a hard time Holding On Right Ivory Flawless skin that's the that's the image you know just you don't need any help like call okay let me give you the last proof the last proof is my Checkmate proof these are cute proofs the last proof is like it's like Checkmate whenever you watch a movie shom or read a book or something about uh Shalom Bas okay somebody you knew who watched the movie and told you about it about Shalom bayas so every Shalom bayas movie in the world the story in the world is the same plotline right they come eventually they meet the therapist whoever it was and he goes so what's your problem so the woman always goes first and she says uh so what's your problem she goes we're married 15 years he didn't change one thing not one thing in 15 years and then they go to the guy and they go what's your problem she goes she's not the woman I married let's analiz those two phrases these aren't Torah phrases these are Universal phrases every couple when you you say we're married 15 years and he didn't change one thing what does that mean what was the expectation going in he's going to change I married him because he had potential and he didn't exercise it he didn't change one thing when the man says she's not the woman I married what does that mean what was his expectation she's going to stay the same way she was perfect and she's going to stay the same and she didn't it's a very very real thing you know and when you when you realize this you second a person that means your truths are not the truth they're selling you your internal truth what you yourself feel is much more in sync with the torah's view of men and women gender roles are not that the man is on is outside and the woman is inside that the man is intellectual and she's emotional these are all nice phrases they're not true it could be a lot of times like that but it could be not like that the torah's definition of gender rales is one thing kadus and t two different spces of godliness and that's how it plays out everything else is arbitrary the woman wants to be on Wall Street and he's going to stay home and cook that's perfectly kosher according to Judaism there's nothing wrong with that you know he wants to stay home and say tillum and cry it's perfectly legitimate wonderful okay it's all kosher the the torah's precise definition of men and women is k v he's struggling with kadha and she's struggling with Tara okay so now do I have any what time am I supposed to be done by uh 9 and it's 8:52 okay okay so you you someone tie him up okay gag him gag him and tie him up okay all right we'll see okay not going to like shut take a few ex the next part's the important part take all the time so now how do we so now you need time what you need you need time you need time I'm a man right a woman would have had a dumb by now okay so so you need so here's his way gets important so we really both have two jobs though because if I'm a man and I want to experience godliness so I have to become kades I have to climb the ladder but I also have to make sure the female half of my Nish holds on tight because if she falls then we still only get 50 you know and she has the same problem she also has two jobs she has to defend maintain her Holiness but she has to make sure her male half climbed cuz if she just defends and he stays in the bomb it's still only 50 so we both have two jobs my job my personal job is to do my job which is to climb and to help the female half of my defend and her job is to hold on and help them so how do we do that okay that's the really the main part of the shear is the relationships that come out of these gender roles so the how do we help each other so I have to be very makata here I'm going I'm going to come back and do do the woman's side in the second but but right now it's the easier side to understand we'll do the men's side and then come back at the end to the woman's side the woman's side seems obvious if she's already on top of the ladder so you can imagine how she helps him right she's an inspiration she's a role model she's the target she she represents what he's supposed to aspire to it's like if you want to make a puzzle a family project puzzle The Secret of making puzzles is you have to look at the cover of the Box you know every once while you look at the cover of the box then you go back you figure out the puzz so in the simplest way you visualize the woman as the cover of the box and the man has what to model himself it's good to have someone on top of the ladder to model yourself after okay but it's really deeper than that will let's do the man's side what's the man's job see if she's already holy and he's in the bottom so then he is he is he more than just a complication like how does he help her how does the man help the woman if she's already Godly and he's not so what's his how do how do you how does the man help her defend that's the big big question so what's in order to understand this we have to get a really clear view of what is her struggle really what's the struggle it doesn't really make sense from this philosophical framework why a woman would ever do anything wrong why doesn't it make sense because a if it's true that we're defining her as Tara as Godly so imagine you're in school and there's a student who gets straight a 100 on every test so could you imagine hearing that kid in the lunchroom saying next semester I'm getting a 70 or nothing enough or ready getting a 70 I'm going to do whatever it takes does that make sense there's no y to underperform to fail what you already succeeded at you can't wrap your head around it so why would a woman who's Godly ever want to fool where do the desire to fool come from there is no desire to full it's very hard to come up with an answer there's only one answer it's not a really convin it's a weak answer but it's a true answer but it's the only answer there's no desire to do worse than you did once you know people who don't want to do well because they're afraid they can't do it but once you've done it consistently so then you know you can do why would you want to do less so if you had a student who got straight A or hundreds and they're dreaming of a 70 is's only one rational explanation weird one the answer is something must have gotten mixed up and he doesn't know he got hundreds if someone is dreaming of a 70 must be their grades came back as a 50 everybody wants to improve if someone is saying a 70 he got the wrong number something got C the wires got crossed any woman who wants to fall there's no desire to fall any woman who ever fell there's only one explanation she has no idea how holy she is she is no one told her she was never told how holy she is and therefore the job of a woman in marriage is to inspire the man what's the man's job in marriage in one word the Torah says the the ultimate responsive job of a man in marriage is to honor her honor is to make someone feel perpetually how wonderful they are if you honor the woman then she will always be cognizant of how great she is and she will never fall the only way a woman ever Falls is you rob her of honor and you treat her in a ter in a way that makes her believe that she's not deserving of it and then she'll hope to get more but what's supposed to happen ideally no no one should feel bad if not the case cuz I don't know anyone it's very real this never exists but in the perfect world what's supposed to happen a girl is supposed to go to sleep every night and the father should kiss her on the forehead and say you are my perfect princess you are the best thing that ever happened to me I don't know what I did to deserve you you're my life you're my everything and that's supposed to happen for 20 years until he walks her down the and for the next hundred years her husband's supposed to tell her the same thing and if a woman lives a life like that which she she was reminded every day of how holy she is she will never lose one step she will remain as pure and is Godly to the her entire life and in the process of being Godly like that she will change the entire world countless people will be inspired and enbl ennobled by her dignity but the requirement to preserve that dignity is to honor them and unfortunately what the world does is literally the opposite what we do literally the opposite we put all of our talent and all of our creativity into figuring out how to degrade women because if we could degrade them then we're free and we can go back to the couch and watch football see let me get end off now with the woman's side a little bit so the man's job is pretty simple difficult but simple you have to be a very brave man to honor a woman we'll see as I explained the woman side what is the woman's job to inspire him how does the woman Inspire the man what is the inspiration so every single man in the world whoever lived we have the difference between is there each of is attracted to a different woman the ambition of a man the of man the of a man wants the most noble Regal godly woman in the world every child grows up children grow up Disney is one of the biggest businesses in the world the reason why Disney is a big business is because Disney's bread and butter are princess movies and princess movies aren't made for basak of girls that made for universally for all girls in every culture because before we're broken when we're 8 years old and we're still complete the dream is that I want to be a princess and every boy any you go to any Jewish community on purm going to see in a week two weeks and it's not just in Jewish commun go to any non-jewish community on Halloween every single girl under eight years old there's only one costume right a princess or a Kala it's the same costume every single girl under eight and every boy in the whole world on Halloween is the same costume something with a gun a sword or a cape when we're young and before we're broken by the universe we all have very simple dreams to be a princess or to and to be the hero that deserves the princess what is that dream so people think the princess dream is what I want to be in danger saved by a big strong guy that's not the dream it's much deeper than that what is the princess dream the princess dream is that I want to be so valued that somebody's going to be willing to fight a dragon to deserve me the princess story is a story of honor and value the the hero is not saving her he's fighting for her in the real story she's the one who's saving him he was mediocre on the couch he saw a princess and now he gets a sword he's going to slay a dragon he becomes great she saved him in the end of the story where he gallops in and he slays the dragon that's just a Poetic Justice where she gets to eat the fruits of her labor that she inspired him and then he saved her because she inspired him right why is this guy saving her right there's a you watch the any princess movie you have a million questions you see a guy Galloping on a white horse slaying a dragon how come he's up at 8 in the morning how come he's so neatly shaved why is he speaking in multi- syllable words why is his tunic so neatly iron and not stained why is he so gallant and Regal why is he so idealistic why is he fighting risking his life with a fire breathing dragon while he's flammable why is he risking his life for a woman who doesn't even know where does his idealism come from where did his sense of mission and his passion is fire there's a million questions there's only one answer everyone knows the answer to all these questions one answer do you know why he's up so early in the morning do you know why he's fighting so hard do you know why he's Noble and Regal and kind and benevolent and gallant and Regal only one answer the reason why he's up so early is because of the Majesty of the princess and he's going to do everything he can to deserve her and to prove his worth and that's why the princess movies are so powerful it's the truest thing in the world what the Dignity of the woman is what inspires a man and the healthy part of a man the part of that isn't broken his ambition craves a princess but to the degree that his craves the princess his Yar hates the princess because she's a threat to his chill you can't sit on the couch and drink beer if you marry a princess you have to get up for shakas if you marry a princess you have to be careful how you talk what you look at how you think how you conduct yourself so every man is torn half of them wants the most noble Regal holy girl in the world and half of them wants someone little damage someone with no expectations will allow me to sit and burp and leave my socks on the floor and this is the struggle we go through the woman's the woman so how does the woman Inspire the man the way she inspires the man is through her majesty her her it's so neat her Purity her tahara is what's inspiring there's a confidence that comes with Tara I have nothing to prove and that's the power it's daunting that power and that's what he fights for and that's what he wants to deserve the man's job so her job is to to preserve her dignity and when she preserves her dignity and doesn't show any insecurity or any need so he will do anything to deserve her and how and his job is to help her stay there by reminding her how great she is so I'll end with this image so how does the man help her stay there when I was dating my Reby gave me the smmo a lot shorter he said basically your job and marriage is one word to honor her and I said that's cool cuz I'm a good talker I could do that so he laughed at me like no one ever laughed he goes like kids like you think honor has anything to do with words I said like what else so he goes honor means that I said what what El what does it mean he goes well for starters you have to be out of bed every morning before she is she doesn't work for you you get out of bed before her and you take care of things for her so I said the same thing that most of the people who heard Theo from him said afterwards we said all right so what's the second best thing is is there a plan B like what else and I tell you like the secret I I see in the world like you know what the shortcut to loss of shom bias is at least for all the young couples today I see it all the time is is when the guy stops going to shakas the the quickest way to lose your wife's respect to lose the marriage is when the man stops going to Shak let me explain how that works the men don't understand what do you mean I'm just tired what does she care but when you don't go to shakas so you think you're just sleeping what does she hear oh I'm not a princess why aren't you slaying dragons you're stabbing her in the heart when you don't go to shakas and I tell the guy you can recover it it takes a long time but here's what you have to do you have to start going to shakas in the be she'll notice every day but she's not going to say a word because it's way too important she dreamed from the time that she was six years old of being a princess and a man who's going to fight for her and deserve her there's no dragons anymore this is this this is the dragon mornings shakas it's a dragon and this is what she dreamed of and you're sleeping and you're stabbing her in the heart so here's what you have to do you have to go to shakas and she's not going to budge cuz it's too big nobody's going to make themselves vulnerable so you can stab them again she's not going to budge but she's keeping track she starts to wake up early to see if you're getting out of bed and doing hoping it's going to happen again it wasn't just a fluke and then after a week if you go into sh if you're lucky there'll be a snowstorm and snowstorms are amazing for recovering Shas cuz when she's lying in bed and it's dark outside and she hears the sh scraping on the driveway digging the car out for shakas she she begs Hashem please don't let it stop Hashem she has a real hope that this a that's a real snow snowy morning that's a real dragon the Lance that slays dragons today is the shovel in that storm and when you're something that she's ding to Hashem please let this be real because you did you proved it enough but she still it's too important she can't she can't fold so she's going to wait another week or two the second snowstorm it happens again and she wakes up and she hears this shovel on the driveway you're going to come home from sh and there'll be waffles and pancakes and every kind of scrambled eggs and omelets it'll be like again because you proved yourself it takes 40 days to reshape an image but this is the most important image and when a man goes to Shak a s the T world is so perfect it was designed by by this is what works it's Universal it's not irrational when you go to shakas you were telling your wife that she is everything and she smiles in her pillow because she knows that it's all her and you reminding her how great she is and she'll just glow more and listen it's very hard you have to be a brave man so much easier to chip away at her dignity and so then now you can chill but when that happens is the sadest day in the world cuz now you'll be a nobody and she's going to be sad maybe the marriage will work maybe people learn to live together and but it's a broken marriage and a very sad existence the greatness is a world of Heroes and princesses it's not a fairy tale if a man will succeed at honoring his wife she will preserve her royalty she'll be a queen you know what happens to the kids who grow up in that house if kids grow up in a house where they hear their father saying about their mother isn't our mommy the holiest and they see he looks at her the way that you look at a woman who's Royal and that she looks at him with the appreciation that a woman has for the man who fights for her those kids are bulletproof there's nothing that could happen to them they can go to Yeshiva have the most brutal abuse of rebi manahel and mash Allin one and classmates and they'll bounce home from school maybe with a black eye and a black and blue Mark and they'll say m we have like the weirdest rebi just beats up on guys but unfazed because there's nothing safer to live in a house where your father looks at your mother with those eyes the war basically if a woman will be a queen the man will become a king the king the kids will be princes and princesses the house becomes a palace and everybody lives happily ever after basically Walt Disney plagiarized the entire tah but this is this this is our message to the world far from being the weak point in yish is the strongest thing in the world I I'll answer questions I'm done I'm sorry it went so much over I appreciate you sticking around good oh what first so so first of all the woman says we both thank literally for our missions the woman it's a mistranslation the way we understand people think that women make a at least hasem made me like he wanted right that's what means though that would be at least he made me with his will means what what does before a word mean what is the prefix like means what he made me like his will the woman represents the r Hashem you're thanking Hashem for making me represented to R that's we call that in the spher the highest sphere is K it's R it's a woman represents the r the man doesn't say he's creating the the man makes a because what does the man love about his job what's his job what so his job is to do it himself the man wants he's a climber I don't want to be born perfect I'll give you the mush you ever see I know I'm putting on a video of Tor I don't want to ruin the whole Torah I'm going to use another movie musle but from the old days when movies were kosher you want me to turn no no it's kosher it's koser koser you have all these common theme movies are all these old police movies in every police movie it's the same story there's the One Cop who's like the best cop in the force but like he he he always kills like 30 bad guys in one shot but he always totals like four police cars three restaurants few fire hydrants so he's always ends up in the office of the captain and the captain is you don't know what you're doing to me like the commissioner has coming down my head you can't keep on doing this you know we've seen this a million times you know that scene it's a cliche right what is the line that the captain always says to the so to the to the police officer what's his line it's a cliche the line is if you do this again I'm going to bump you up to a desk job that the line so let's translate those words bump you up to a desk job what does bump you up mean in modern language promote you okay to a desk job as opposed to on the streets where do we call those two jobs a blue collar job and a white collar job so I'm going to promote you to a white collar job but every single person in the world watching the movies when he says I'm going to bump the desk we go like no anything but that like that's the worst thing in the world how's that possible how does it make sense that it's horrifying to hear that you might bump him up to to a death job right why why why does it bother us he's a cop we are all like tamed broken men the last men in the world are cops don't break that cop he's like The Last Hope for men for mankind we understand that he's a man you don't want to break him he needs to be on the street with a gun the smell of the sweat and the whole thing that's how a man wants to be we all live vicariously through him we go to those movies cuz that's how we connect to zakas ambition we want to live in the struggle a desk is not the place for us We Don't Belong by a desk doesn't exist in Yeshiva it still exists people don't understand what Yeshiva is but the world is sitting there with a field and they're plowing their field in Yeshiva that's what we do Yeshiva is a war zone it's a nobler war cuz I'm not fighting with most I'm fighting with my head your life is on the line all day long bigger than your life your whole Pride I went to AER I saw ra give a he was 92 years old in benra the best Y in 2,000 of the sharpest Minds in the whole land and he gets up to give a sh these kids are young they're on fire they're learning a whole week preparing for a share he's an old man 92 he he must take a nap in the afternoon whatever it is and he has to get up in front of all these minds and say his teror and everyone is waiting to shoot him down there's no cuz he shoot down and the you're the man you're the quickest gun in the west everybody wants to shoot the Gunslinger down he's not a reab who got it because he inherited it he's the Rea because he was the best and I watched the shear every Shear is the same model he starts off again they studied the same material one page of Kamar with the for a week once he gets up to do a sheer clly he asks five questions the room erupts and screaming everyone screaming fighting to knock down his questions they start to resolve their questions amongst themselves one by one a few questions survive the BAM fighting and they Mak their way to the front of the room the guys who have good questions who nobody was able to answer and they line up and he's on the top of the stage and they scream up their questions and he fights him down and one by one if he wins the guy leaves humbled and the next one goes once everyone got answer his questions survive he can go further then he says his principle he's going to use to answer these questions again they fight 20 minutes later they get to the to he wins they go back then he shows how his principal answers all those questions he asked they fight and then he ends off the fourth part he brings proof to his principal that was the structure aasha a the terrets and the Rya and every stage he has to fight and he wins once in a while there's a b shoots him down and he's the he's the pride of the the man but that's only once well if the same guy does it three times then rashak retires we have all the respect in the world but you're not there because you have Royal Blood you're there because you're the biggest and it's hard at 92 years old and the next person takes over because the B need people don't know this is a war zone they're men you go to pich you go to brisk these are men these are bulls it's fire it's a it's but the world the world is emasculating men and and we love police officers so when a man thanks Hashem the woman is thanking Hashem for making me Godly that's what she wants I'm pristine I'm Godly thank you for making me like you will when the man thanks Hashem for who he is what does he have what does he say he's thanking Hashem for allowing me to do it myself thank you for not making me perfect he can say see people say why don't you say it positive sh is no that's not the point you don't say sh is sh is says is saying thank you for making me deficient that's not that's not a thank you the thank you for making me an is is thank you for not doing it for me and allowing me to do it myself the man is thanking Hashem for allowing it's like you I give a man a riddle or you're on the road and you're lost you don't ask directions we're not asking directions I'm going to figure it out myself even if it takes a week right cuz I want to do it myself that's what mean I didn't I didn't I don't even need a map oh each one the reason you know three it's three different trips the go and the EV it's not the same thing it's it's it's each one is a different a different and a different thing the man's is the thank you for letting me do something myself so it's it's not you can't you don't compare to the two each and those two also you don't compare them they're all three different three different acknowledgements it's not repeating the same acknowledgement three times what else cuz then you could just say thank you for making me uh not making me a man it includes all the things you know you thank thanking Hashem for making me do it myself it's one what interesting okay that's cool all right it's my son he has my back okay I'm sorry called him out but that's uh you hear that so that's what he's saying he's saying go that that's s i I was saying it backward I said that subsumes the other two but it but the point is you're thanking Hashem for your mission thank you for not giving giving me a hint let me figure it out myself you give me a riddle and I can't figure it out everyone gets nobody gives me riddles anymore because after an hour they go can tell you ready no two hours no a month well you know maybe you can tell me I'm going to figure it out yeah sorry oh I cut you off I went any questions sense what the order has to make sense because they are the same yeah so we we'll talk about I want to go I want to answer first the question I said one why doesn't the woman have the MIT if she falls there a lot of questions that are more right so why doesn't the woman have MIT when she falls can you figure that one out any other any questions that you have that's my question any questions any Yeahs you can't take's men's the tools for the oh oh mean she needs different tools why not the same lad one she fell it's the same letter yeah but I'm saying she fell so now she has to become now she has to recover it what what does falling mean who oh so that's a ter he's already saying the terrorist oh okay come on I always do this I ruined the video is the answer is that a woman doesn't really Ever Fall you know how you know I'll give you another another common movie theme one of the most common themes in movies or you know what in in books forget movies classic books Universal storyline the the first scene of the book is this beautiful couple a picnic or they're playing with their kid in the park or they're going to Disneyland or maybe it's Victorian England and they're dressed in gowns at a ball could be any era in history the first scene is the directors know how to make a beautiful scene with a beautiful couple and you go out it's a great couple scene two is a Greyhound bus pulling into town with this dark stranger who has her secret from her previous life and everyone in the crowd like like they just spent the first 10 minutes showing you this beautiful matv now you know it's all going to be destroyed this guy's coming to ruin everything it's the most common theme in so many movies with this or stories with this theme they go different directions then sometimes the husband kills the guy sometimes the wife kills the guy sometimes he ruins the marriage could go different dire but it's a very everyone agrees it's a common theme in Stories the the dark stranger of from the past uprooting the apple card of this perfect marriage my question is is in order to make a book or a movie work and popular it has to be believable people have to be able to believe it to do it many times and everyone does it must be a very believable storyline how is this believable can you believe this the movie is claiming that in scene one we saw this Regal woman so pure like the snow so wonderful good kind Noble but according to the movie it seems like in the previous town she was a very low person she moved 80 miles in a bus and she changed to a princess is that believable that an 880m bus ride can change someone no no schools no no years of self-development trips to Thailand no no no muser no how is that believ but but it seems to be believable everyone accepts that storyline because the answer is it is believable because everyone understands that a woman doesn't really fall she gets slept down by her environment people know things that she made a mistake people know and now she can't walk around like a princess CU everybody knows but if she can leave all those people behind and no one knows what happened in the past World she's instantly back to where she was the same perfect girl she was a girl never loses her kadha her Tara it's always there she just she can't be like that cuz people aren't going to let her they're they're going to remind her so she just needs to leave and start a new Leaf somewhere else for a man that'll never happen cuz a man has to climb the ladder he needs go to Israel have the most brutal rashash Shiva with a with a with a good cop bad cop who loves him one person who kicks his rear end one person who builds him up he has to work on shakas and getus and work on himself and in two solid years in N he has this look in his eyes like he's growing comes back to America he survives his first B as manam at home and he does everything good he can go back to Israel he starts to become a g but it takes a few years of really serious growth we're very different the man needs the MIT a de climb a woman no matter how for far she falls she never needs the MIT all she needs is a new city I mean truth is Unfortunately today technically that's not so easy because with the internet we're robbing people of the chances to have second chances so the wor it is literally the worst thing of the internet is the preservation of of of past mistakes and it's it's very very it's very hard to recover whatever that's people don't talk about that mistake but that of all the things the internet destroys in the world that's the most important destruction because the world depends on princesses to save the world without AAS the World falls apart everything good that ever happened in the world anything good that any guy ever did there was a girl that he was picturing that he wanted to be deserving of and prove this maybe a theoretical person or an actual person but he wanted to prove his value to somebody and and and therefore all the evil forces in the world are aligned in one Mission if we can rob the Dignity of women if we can cheapen all the women then all the men are free and life becomes one big but you you first you have to degrade the women that's my next share tomorrow the commercial to start that Shar is why does aash ask vashi to come to the party with with her only a crown on cuz if you have a billion dollar party with every booze and everything in the world and you're ready to break it down you can cuz there's a queen the party can't the party reaches a limit of how chilled you can be if you want to go further the queen has to lose her dignity you got to she has to come we have to break the queen if the queen loses her dignity then we're free then you can the party can we can do anything there's nothing to hold us back but if you're having the craziest party in the world and the queen walks in it's like busted you know caught with my hand in the cookie jar and everyone feels like guilty and ashamed we have to eat with our silverware and fix our ties and that's how the world works so the Milla story starts off that's the introduction for tomorrow morning sh vash's tail um gra getting a grip on vash's tail but it starts off with the understanding of for a party to happen for real the kind of party that you buy through it can't happen until the queen gets degraded the queen is the opposite of that party that's what the world is the entire world is trying to degrade women so he can have's party and that's why in The Firm world we put all of our efforts into one mid above all else and that's preserving the Dignity of B Because if we can preserve the girl's dignity then the guys will become Heroes and then the kids will become prin and princesses but the what what needs to be done is to not let the world degrade our women and uh this is the real this is the real the realest M of them all all right let everybody go and do something else