Pesach Sheni - What's the point? is it really helping to bring Mashiach? - Rabbi Alon Anava

You're the one-man band. One-man actor, dumb actor. Just I don't sing. Okay, so first of all, you asked where you're going to see the videos. So, the videos go online. They go on YouTube. And they go on my website and the major social networks. And then they go as audio on SoundCloud and iTunes. So, if you use a smartphone and you want to listen to it, then you can download either SoundCloud, which has all the lectures in audio, and now they're starting to go up on iTunes as podcasts. What if I don't have an iPhone? So, you can take CDs. What? Yeah, I brought CDs Okay. with lectures. And if you want to listen to them, there's there's If you don't have a smartphone and you want still audio, then contact my my secretary will send you MP3 files. Or the computer, just go to YouTube. Uh you can go to YouTube and download the MP3 file. But You don't need to download it. You just press play. Some people like to listen. They don't want to see the junk that's on the suggested. That's what I was talking about last time that, you know, the the the I was talking about Milchemes Gog u'Magog. And Milchemes Gog u'Magog, the Zohar is calling it Milchemes Gigim, the war of thoughts. I call it the war of screens cuz everybody's glued to a screen. So, some people they they find the excuse to look at a screen and they say, "I'm looking at a Torah class for 20 minutes and then 3 hours of junk after the Torah class." So, some people don't like going on YouTube and places like that because the suggested stuff on the sides, it's not moderated. And even the the advertisements that they show you on on YouTube, there's no connection to what you're seeing. So, you see something and then the ad is totally not snitz. So, Excuse me? It says "Slow this video up." Exactly. It's exactly like that. And the and the the yetzer hara will trick a person to tell him, "Here, watch a 20-minute class and get inspired and you're doing now learning Torah. But then just look at this recommended one and that one looks funny and this one looks good." And before you know it, you're 20 minutes learning Torah and 3 hours wasting on nonsense. So, I also suggest not to go on these websites if you don't really need to. Not too long ago, I met a young man and he told me, "I'm chazak. I'm very becoming very strong and So, I told him, "That's amazing. Where do you learn?" So, he told me, "I watch videos on YouTube." So, I told him, "YouTube is not a yeshiva. You learn with a book. You don't learn on YouTube. YouTube is nice when you work or you're doing something and you don't have other options, you listen. But Torah you learn with a book in a yeshiva. So, that's off the subject. Uh first before we start, I got a few emails that I got to publicly apologize. A lot of people email us and they and they're not in a negative way, but complain that the reply comes after 2 weeks. So, I I have to apologize that baruch Hashem, the popularity has grown and we get about 5 to 800 emails every day. So, we I added another girl that processes all the emails. So, don't don't get offended if you send an email and the reply comes after a lot of time. So, bezrat Hashem, we're working on it. It will be much more efficient. But I got a few not angry emails, but why am why am why are you not answering on demand? So, It's like going to HBO on demand. So, bezrat Hashem, Hashem should help that it will be more efficient soon. Amen. So, let's see how much time we have. Do we have a watch here? No. Okay. So, we want to talk about many things today. I think what we'll do is we'll talk about the till the time of Arvit and then we'll take make a break and maybe before that we'll do some questions and maybe after Arvit we'll do some questions. About what? About whatever you want. About the questions? Arvit, but something specific. Arvit, Maariv. Uh what did you say? About what? The questions, you can ask whatever you want. No, but what did you say then? We're going to talk about I want to talk about a two few topics, but the main topic I want to talk about is what's called Pesach Sheni. That in about a couple days we're going to celebrate the second holiday of Pesach. Now, it's a very weird holiday when you're thinking of it. Because why do we celebrate it? Okay, so the Torah tells us that whoever was impure for whatever reason could not offer the sacrifice of Pesach, korban Pesach, or if a person was on the on the way, on a journey, and he couldn't come to offer his sacrifice. So, this is the basic explanation that whoever missed the opportunity, then a month later he has another opportunity to offer the sacrifice and fulfill the mitzvah. But the the the question here is why does Pesach Why isn't there a Sukkot Sheni? What's the difference? Why isn't there a Rosh Hashanah Sheni? I didn't do teshuvah real good enough on Yom Kippur. I want another Yom Kippur. Why does Pesach So, the Arizal explains and it's brought down by his talmid the the Rabbi Chaim Vital, that there are three types of godly revelations. The lowest level of godly revelations comes from the sefirah of binah, which is what is what is called imma in the terminology of Kabbalah. And then there's a higher level of godly revelation that comes from the sefirah of chochmah. So, it's called abba. And the highest level of godly revelation comes from the sefirah of keter. This is what's called sabba. Now, each one of these godly revelations, they come in a certain time of the year. Like an auspicious time. So, this lower level of godly revelation that comes from binah that comes on Shabbat. Every Shabbat that we have like this special godly revelation, he'ara. Now, we don't really see it with our eyes. Very few tzaddikim actually see it with their eyes. That's another thing that we can't see also, but in Israel, dafka in the Eretz Yisrael, that godly revelation is even more powerful. Some people are refined enough to see that it's different than here than anywhere else in the world. But this godly revelation that comes from the sefirah of binah comes on Shabbat. Every Shabbat it comes. And if I prepare myself the entire week the right way, then when Shabbat comes, I can tap into this godly revelation, this he'ara elokit, and I will derive from that a certain hamshacha, a certain energy, a certain enlightenment for the rest of the week. Needless to say that I'm going to be elevated with that light. As the Arizal explains that on Shabbat the all the worlds go up to their source. Anything that is not connected to the Shabbat stays down in the physical world. That's why we call when somebody desecrates Shabbat, we call it chillul Shabbat. When I first became religious and I heard the term chillul Shabbat, to lechalel in Hebrew is to take a flute and to That's lechalel. So, I was like, "What's the connection? Lechalel Shabbat? Tell me." Lo lishmor Shabbat. Not to keep the Shabbat. Not to observe the Shabbat. What's the connect What's lechalel Shabbat? And then I understood that when the worlds go up on Shabbat to a higher level, anything that grabs the Shabbat, it goes up with the worlds. And if somebody chas v'shalom does not grab the elevator, then is created a space between the physical world and the spiritual world. And a space in Hebrew is called chalal. So, there's a void now between the physical world and the spiritual world. And anybody who's not connected to the spiritual world by observing the Shabbat, then he's stuck in the space. So, he's not here and not here. Therefore, he's called mechallel Shabbat because he's stuck in this chalal, in this void. So, one wants to constantly meditate on the fact that my entire week is a preparation for Shabbat. So, every day we already when we pray, we say, "Today is the Yom Yom Rishon baShabbat, Yom Yom Sheni baShabbat." B'chlal, on already Wednesday we already start to preparing, we start reading Lechu Neranena. My entire week has to be preparing for Shabbat. And if I'm not preparing for Shabbat the entire week, then I'm putting the gear in neutral and hitting the gas all the way to the to the bottom and nothing happens, just noise. So, my entire motion has to be preparing for Shabbat because if the slides comes and I'm not prepared, then I miss it. That's why it's extremely important that they have Shabbat, both men and women, they prepare the right way. Men go to the mikveh, they start preparing by reading shnayim mikra v'echad targum. There's a mystical reason for that. You read many congregations, they read Shir Hashirim. There's You do a lot of spiritual preparation. And it's extremely important that women prepare themselves the same way. Unfortunately, many women they accept the Shabbat. No, no, no, I have I'm in the 18 minutes. So, that's not the right way to accept the Shabbat. Rather, the woman has to be already ready and showered and clothed and everything ready. I'm talking about maybe an hour before Shabbat so she can pray Mincha and do her 5-10 minutes of her meditation, hitbodedut, hitbonenut, whatever she's she she focuses on. So, she can be ready that when it's time to light the candles, she's already ready to observe this godly light because a woman comes from the sphere of binah. And this is her specific light. So, there are two levels that a woman can achieve. The lowest level is what's called hey tata'a, which corresponds to the last hey of the name of Hashem Yud Kay Vav Kay. Which Kabbalah calls it Rachel. This is the lower level. And the highest level corresponds to the first hey of the name of Yud Kay Vav Kay. This is hey ila'a. Which is called Leah. And our entire avodah throughout the week is to do what's called yichud, yichud zun. Connecting the midot together so I can elevate the hey tata'a to the hey ila'a, merging Rachel and Leah together. And Leah is in the sphere of binah. So, a woman by default, she has already a connection to that sfirah. So, by her preparing the right way and observing the Shabbat and meditating and to wait for that moment, she's the one who can get that godly revelation. Therefore, that's why the woman has to accept the Shabbat. If the woman does not accept on erev Shabbat the Torah and the mitzvahs of her husband, then he stays outside. When the husband goes to to to shul, it's not only because there's a fighting in the house and they send the husband off. They just go, go. Rather, the husband goes to the shul. And if he does it the does what he needs to do the right way, on the way back, there are two angels that are uh that are are accompanying him. They're they're taking him. That's why we sing when they come into the home, we sing Shalom Aleichem. Now, one of the angels is the angel of rachamim. And the other angel is malach hamavet, is the samech mem. They're both taking the husband home. To side to to sidetrack a little bit, if you notice, and it depends on many nusachim, but in most of the nusachim, when we're singing Shalom Aleichem, we start with Shalom Aleichem malachei hasharet. And then we say bo'achem leshalom, barchuni leshalom. Whatever the nusach is, sometimes it's it change a little bit. But why the first one is Shalom Aleichem? Malachei hasharet. And then we say bo'achem, barchuni. And we say malachei hashalom, not malachei hasharet. Because if these two angels come into the home and they find the candles lighting and a table set and challot on the table and the house is ready for Shabbat, then the samech mem becomes shalom becomes malachei hashalom from malachei hashalom. Because malachei hasharet is a general terminology of the malachim. But malachei hashalom is the angels of peace. So, that's why the first one we start malachei hasharet cuz comes in two malachim. But if the house is ready and the woman did whatever she was supposed to do, accepting the Shabbat the right way and in her mind also accepting the Torah and the mitzvot that her husband generated the entire week, then the samech mem becomes one of the malachei hashalom. And he then barchuni leshalom after we say bo'achem leshalom. So, the woman has a very dominant power in Shabbat. Why? To tap into this godly light that comes from the sphere of binah. That's that's her makor. That's her source. The second godly godly revelation that comes from the sphere of chochmah comes on Rosh Chodesh and on Yom Tov. And that doesn't happens often, but that's a a higher godly revelation. And the highest godly revelation that comes from the sphere of keter comes once a year and that's only on the seder. The Rebbe from Kamarna explains that for each individual, one of these godly revelations is a certain love that gets aroused in our neshama. And he explains that we have three types of loves. So, the godly revelation that comes from the sphere of binah arouses in me a love that is called ahavat Hashem. That's why you see that on Shabbat, a person can be not so into learning Torah the entire week, but Shabbat comes, suddenly enjoys learning Torah. He will pull out a book and suddenly he he he will not to go to sleep he will not care if he's going to sleep, not going to sleep. You have this certain love for the Torah. And you see many men and also women, they on Shabbat there's some type of awakening, a hit'orerut, to learn Torah. The Torah is sweeter on Shabbat. You understand it better because the godly revelation arouses the love for the Torah. The godly revelation that comes in Yom Tov and Rosh Chodesh, it comes from the sphere of chochmah, arouses a love that is called ahavat Hashem. That's why you see many people after Yom Tov, they're all hyped up. All like inspired. Yom Tov leaves you like on on on speeds. You're on a different level. You have you're like, "Okay, now I'm going to turn the world around." Doesn't matter 3-4 weeks pass and all the air goes down. But you see them on the Yom Tov and on Rosh Chodesh, there's a certain type of like energy that arouses in me the love to Kedusha Baruch Hu, ahavat Hashem. But the godly revelation that comes down on Pesach, on leil seder, arouses a very special love that is called ahavat Yisrael. And if a person observes the holiday of Pesach the right way and prepares the right way and celebrates the leil seder exactly how he's supposed to do and sitting and eating and blessing and singing, etc., he taps into this godly light that comes once a year, leil shimmurim. You see that we have customs not to lock the door, not we don't say Kriyat Shema. Why? It's a very special night. If a person does it the right way, then it arouses in him the love of what's called ahavat Yisrael. And it empowers this love for him to stay for the entire year. Cuz unfortunately, most of us do not or did not reach yet to the level of real ahavat Yisrael. Cuz to love another person exactly how I like myself is not an easy thing. And if we would reach to the level of ahavat Yisrael, we would not be sitting here right now. We would go to seek korban tamid right now in Beit Hamikdash. We know the first Beit Hamikdash was destroyed from three sins: idol worship, murder, bloodshed, and giluy arayot, forbidden relation. Since the sin was revealed, the length of the exile was revealed. When they left Yerushalayim, the navi, the prophet, told them, "You're leaving for 70 years and 70 years you're making a U-turn and coming back." And sure enough, 70 years later they came back. 67 years later happened the whole story with Purim. Took them 3 years to pack their bags and come back. But the second Beit Hamikdash was destroyed from one sin that is called sinat chinam. And since the sin was not revealed, because you don't know if I like you or not. I can smile to you all day long and but I can hate you in my heart. Since the sin is not revealed, then the length of the exile is not revealed. That's why we're still stuck in galus because of sinat chinam. And if we would be able to bridge that and work on ourselves to a point that I have an unlimited love to another person, then I would be able to reach the level of what's called a personal geulah, of my personal redemption. First, I have to go through one of the biggest obstacles, loving myself. Because most of us don't even love ourselves the right way. Because if I would love myself the right way, I would only be close to Hashem. I would be davek with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Because I would provide to my neshama exactly what she what my neshama needs. But forget about that love right now. We want to concentrate on ahavat Yisrael. So, on Pesach comes this godly light. And if I tap into it, then I have the power to to to work on my ahavat Yisrael for the entire year. And this year was special because two at the same time, Shabbat and leil seder. So, I got two godly revelations at the same time. So, why am I telling you this whole spiel? Because why are we celebrating Pesach Sheni? I want to celebrate Yom Kippur Sheni. It's not fair. The reason why we celebrate Pesach Sheni is because the Arizal explains that from leil seder, this godly light actually shines for 30 days. And I have 30 days to tap into it. That's why we start doing Sefirat HaOmer in the in that time. Because that's how I'm I'm start refining myself. But this godly light lasts for 30 days till Pesach Sheni. So, I have 30 days to tap into it and on the 30th day it's not in the same level like it's shining on the saddle, but it's a very powerful godly revelation that one can tap into. That can allow me to to to to do teshuvah. Because the entire world is based on teshuvah. Now, when the Zohar is addressing the concept of Pesach Sheni, Zohar is explaining it a little bit different. It says, "What are the two things that a person wanted or needed to do for Pesach Sheni? Either he was impure, was tamei, or that he was baderech, he was in on the journey and he couldn't offer the sacrifice." So, the Zohar is talking about he's saying, "No, no, no, no." The Zohar is talking about that these two levels are the two levels how a person lo aleinu sins. So, a person that is in a in the madreiga of the level of tamei, it means that he did a certain aveira and he brought impurity on him, tum'ah. So, now he's in the level of tamei, he has to do teshuvah. And since he's the level of tamei of impure, he can't sacrifice a a korban. More than that, he's not ready to leave Mitzrayim. He's not ready to go into freedom because he's trapped by the klipah cuz he did an aveira. Aveira in Hebrew is a sin, but aveira comes from the word la'avor. La'avor mireshut lereshut. Person chas v'shalom does the opposite will of Hashem, then he moves himself from the domain of holiness, mireshut hakadosha lereshut hatum'ah. From one domain to the other domain, so he moves. Hu avar. From one side to the other. Until he will do teshuvah, he can't come back. So, he's in a different domain. And how can you leave Mitzrayim if you didn't do teshuvah yet? And the second level that it says that the person was in his journey, who was who hayah baderech. That's even in a worse level of of impurity that a person did the aveira and he's repeating the aveira over and over and over that he's so far away that he's considered baderech, he's on a journey, he's not even on the way to come even back. A person doesn't need to be totally not keeping Torah and mitzvahs to fall into one of these categories. A person can do the majority of the Torah and mitzvahs and he's failing, he, she, same thing, in a certain thing that keeps repeating itself. And each individual has a couple of these that he can't break out. So, the one that he does every here and there, okay, that's this level of tamei. Impure. So, you do teshuvah, you reverse it. And these are things things that, you know, once in a blue moon you have the opportunity and you by mistake, knowingly, not knowingly, it doesn't matter. Not too long ago somebody came and asked me a question about a certain a certain act and he told me, "Is this considered like stealing? Is this a segulah?" Well, it's an act, it doesn't matter. And I told him, "Yes, you can do that." If if you know, just to make to make the point of it, he was asking me if he can a friend of him asked him to buy him a phone in the United States and smuggle it into Israel because it's cheaper. And I said, "Yes, this is geneivat da'at, you can't do that. You're not allowed to do that. If you buy for yourself and you're saving money, you can do that. But to make a business out of it and to to to do it for somebody else, you're not allowed to do that." So, that was his question. But the thing is that this is for example, he did it by mistake. He tell me, "I have a feeling that I can't do that." The point is that this is not a a sin that repeats itself constantly. A person that constantly lies or constantly fails in lashon hara. This is a one in once in a blue moon thing. So, we all have once in a blue moon things that we didn't know or or we didn't pay attention or we really didn't know the old dinim in halacha and we failed, okay. So, I do teshuvah. But I need to more concentrate on the ones that are making me stuck on this journey. Something that keeps repeating itself and every individual has it. Because if you don't have it, then you're a tzaddik. Or a tzadekes. I'm not saying it's bad right now. Don't look in the mirror and say, "Okay, I'm a rasha right now." This is not the point. The point is to to recognize where is my weak point. Where am I not succeeding to go out of my Mitzrayim? Now, Mitzrayim, even though in our days is considered a country, but Mitzrayim is a is a state of mind. When the Torah is talking about Mitzrayim, yeah, it's talking about the country, but it's more talking about a state of mind that a person is in some type of a limitation. Mitzrayim comes from the word metzar, a limit. And if something limits me, then I'm in the state in of Mitzrayim, of of something that limits me. I can't go out of my limitation. And it doesn't mean I'm a bad person. People sometimes tell me, "Well, I'm but I'm a good person." Okay, it's very good that you're a good person. It's very nice that you're a good person. That has nothing to do with it. You can be the best person, but you can still be stuck. Wherever you're stuck. It's like a wagon that, you know, four wheels, one of them goes into the mud, three wheels are outside, but, you know, the one that is stuck in the mud makes the whole wagon stuck. One wheel. So, sometimes 90% of my behavior is good, but I have 10% that is stuck in some type of a ditch and it pulls me back. It can't let me go out. The point is that everyone has to do his own assessment. Where where where am I holding? What is this limit that limits me? That doesn't allow me to go out of my limitation. That doesn't allow me to continue to step forward, to go to a higher level. So, a person has to do, you know, a self-assessment every every day. That's why the first level of tamei, impure, then you do you do teshuvah. Every day you do teshuvah. Don't you can't wait till Yom Kippur to do teshuvah. People Somebody waits for Yom Kippur to do teshuvah, I don't know how anybody can do teshuvah on Yom Kippur. How can you do teshuvah on one day for an entire year? How can you remember in Tishrei what you did 11 months before that in Kislev? How can you do teshuvah for that? You can't. It's impossible. You remember some big things and that's it. Yom Kippur is like the the the end of the teshuvah. People who wait the entire year to do teshuvah on Yom Kippur, it's it's pointless. You can't do teshuvah for anything. Teshuvah is not just sitting and davening and praying from a siddur and standing and starving yourself. Person needs to do everyday teshuvah. So, teshuvah, the main, you know, the cycle closes on Yom Kippur. And then we have every Rosh Chodesh that we do teshuvah for the entire month. Rosh Chodesh is called Yom Kippur Katan. Some congregations on Erev Yom Kippur on Erev Rosh Chodesh, I'm sorry. Rosh Chodesh is considered Yom Kippur Katan. Some congregations they fast on Erev Yom Kippur. It's almost a day of atonement atonement. If you read in the nosach of the musaf of Yom Kippur, Yom Kippur, it's a day of Kippur, it's a day day of atonement. People think it's just another day in the calendar. It's another Yom Kippur that you have. So, we don't have a Pesach Sheni, Yom Kippur Sheni, we have 12 Yom Kippurs. Every Rosh Chodesh I can do teshuvah for the entire month and it's an auspicious time that teshuvah will get accepted. And every Friday I do teshuvah for the entire year. For the entire week. That's why I said before that you want to light the candles not in the 18 minutes and the the the kitchen is still a mess. When you light your candles when you are dressed and bathed and ready and relaxed after you prayed. Now, I'm talking for the women, the men for sure, the men is not even a question. Why? So, you can pray Mincha. And then you can do teshuvah and you sit 10 minutes and you go in your mind, "What did I do this week? Was I a good wife? Was I a good mom? Was I a good neighbor? Maybe I owe somebody money. Maybe I hurt insulted somebody." You got to do teshuvah. Maybe I owe somebody money, I don't know. Then you can accept the Shabbat. You cannot accept Shabbat if you have a little bit of of of dirt spiritually. And then every night you do teshuvah on your own Kriyat Shema al Hamitah. If a person doesn't finish the day with Kriyat Shema al Hamitah, then so many things happen if a person doesn't finish the day with Kriyat Shema al Hamitah. Kriyat Shema al Hamitah is only a minhag. And women also are obligated to say Kriyat Shema al Hamitah. It's how you finish your day and if you finish the day the right way, then you open the next day the right way. And if you don't finish the day the right way, you're going to sleep all dirty, then that's how a person will wake up in the morning cuz he didn't clean himself. May I ask a question? For sure. Okay, on that bedtime Shema, there was a little question as to what you meant from my readers. So, you mean the bedtime Shema in the siddur? Of course. To say. Okay, so if you could just clarify that. There are different Sorry. There are different type of of nosachim. They're a little bit different from each other. The point is that a person has to do two actions before they go to sleep. The first one is is to do teshuvah. So, sit on the bed or in the couch or in the stool and make an an account what I did today. And to do teshuvah. Now, if you want me you know, I'll back up two steps. We know that our soul is built from five madregot, from five levels. The highest level of the soul is called yechidah. Yechidah comes from the word yichud. People think it's come from the word yachid. There's only one that is yachid and it's only the Kadosh Baruch Hu. Yechidah comes from the word yichud. is a unity. Like a bride and groom, they go to Yichud room. It's the ultimate unity. So, the highest level of the soul is called Yechida. Why? Because it's totally united with the Kadosh Baruch Hu. It's chelek Elokai, it's a piece of Hashem. The next level of the soul is called Chaya. Now, Chaya is what's called people call it in English aura. It's a or makeef, it's a surrounding light. It's a very high level of our neshama, it doesn't penetrate straight into the body. This is what's called tzelem. Tzelem is the godly figure of the soul. Betzelem Elokim nivra Adam, with the shape and the image of the Kadosh Baruch Hu that the man was created. The fact that we have hands and a head and a body and legs, it's because the spiritual structure of our soul has a head and a body and hands and legs and so forth. The tzelem holds in it thousands of thousands of godly sparks. And every spark that is in this godly piece of the soul, the tzelem, corresponds to one day that the person would live in this world. So, if a person lived till The tzelem, in the tzelem, the second level of the neshama, it's called Chaya. But, it's also called tzelem. Tzelem is a godly image. In the tzelem, there are thousands of thousands of godly sparks. Building it like a puzzle. Imagine a puzzle in your mind. A thousand-piece puzzle. If one piece is missing, then the puzzle is not complete. So, you see a picture, but imagine in your mind like a jigsaw puzzle, many many many pieces. So, the tzelem is built from many many many pieces. And it's built from as many as pieces as the days of our life. So, if a person lives till the age of 60, calculate how many days is 60 years, do 365 days a year plus the leap year or whatever, calculate the time, you'll come the amount you'll come, this is the amount of godly sparks that that soul had to elevate in this life. So, you're talking about 20, 30, 50,000 godly sparks. And you can only elevate one in a day. And if you didn't elevate it that day, then the next day you have two. And if you didn't do it the next day, you have the next day three and so forth. And if chas v'shalom a person doesn't complete his life, because if a person comes down to the world and in the plan he's getting 72 years, and through the 72 years he will do a a few acts, a few severe sins, that their reaction will be what's called mitat bidei Shamayim, death by the heavenly courts. A person mechallel Shabbat, desecrates Shabbat, mitat bidei Shamayim. He's chayav mitah. A person lives a life a certain way, then his life can be cut in half. He was supposed to live till 70, died when he was 50. Now, he's going to have to come back in a reincarnation with a debt already for the new life and the old life. So, as many as godly sparks that I have in my Chaya, that's as many as days that I have in this world. And every day I have to refine one of them, a certain avodah, a certain act that I have to do in this world, and then I take the spark up to Shamayim. And I take it when I go to sleep. This is why God created sleep. Because other than that, it's a waste of time. When you think of it, we we we we waste a third of our life on a bed. It's a waste of time and it's a waste of space. If we wouldn't have to sleep, we wouldn't need so many rooms in the house. It's really when you think of it, look at the tzaddikim, they never slept. The Ari Zal never slept. He would take like little naps, he'd put his head down for 1 2 minutes, up, come up. Yeah? Many. Baal Shem Tov. So, a tzaddik doesn't go to sleep. He closes his eyes for 1 or 2 minutes and that's it, and he gets recharged and we're not tzaddikim, we have to go to sleep. But the going to sleep, when you're looking at it in a in a very clear way, it's a waste of time. Why do I need to sleep? Let me sleep for 10 minutes. Third of my life I'm wasting when I sleep cuz that's when I'm taking the spark up to Shamayim. Now, in order for me to take that spark that I did that day up to Shamayim, there's a whole ceremony. I have to pray every day to to pave to pave me the path that the neshama will go up that day. Now, to make a long story short, because I don't want to do a class about that, but if I do not do teshuvah that night and I did a sin that day, I my neshama can't go up. Imagine the neshama like a hot air balloon and it's hold it's it's it's holding to the ground with these big sacks of sand. If the if the weight is holding it down, then it can't go up. So, if the neshama needs to go up to ascend to a higher world to take this godly spark that night and there's one sin that is holding the neshama down, the neshama can't go up. So, the person goes to sleep and instead of the neshama going going up to what's called the Beit Din of the Kadosh Baruch Hu, the heavenly court of the Kadosh Baruch Hu, if the person did teshuvah the right way that night, then the soul goes up to the heavenly courts and gets rejuvenated like a cell phone at the end of the night. You you you you plug it in. So, the battery will be full the next day. Wait, wait, let me finish with that. I I if you don't mind, I'd rather continue and then we'll we'll get more into questions, but since we started talking about Kriyat Shema, I'll just make it more more clear. So, if I didn't do teshuvah that night, my neshama doesn't go to the right place. And that's why you see many people that they go to sleep and they wake up in the morning like a shmatteh. They wake up in the morning depressed, sad, lazy, heavy. I slept bad, I slept for 10 hours, I barely moved. And sometimes you see people, the same individual will go to sleep for 3 4 hours, he wakes up like a Sorry, I'm interrupting, but do we have to do that exact prayer from Yeah. we do You have to do both. No, because I have trouble. I tried it from watching one of the tapes, and so I I don't like doing it. So, what I do is I just sincerely pray to God. No, you have to do both. When our sages When our sages compiled the prayer, it's not to annoy us. When our sages sat down with Ruach Hakodesh, any siddur that was written was written by Ruach Hakodesh. It's not some bunch of guys, let's okay, let's write some poems. Whoever compiled the siddur sat with I don't like saying the word Holy Spirit because the non-Jews use it because but Ruach Hakodesh is a divine level. They wrote every word is calculated on the letter. And there's a reason why we say that. The easiest way to explain why we say that is imagine now a safe. Now, remember the old-fashioned safes? You had to turn it to the left, 17, then turn to the right, 32. You had a combination. Right? You're missing one digit, it's not going to open the safe. Do we have to do it in Hebrew? Yes. No, okay. If you don't mind, maybe we'll do all the detailed questions uh later, but better to do it in Hebrew. Kriyat Shema itself, you want to do it in Hebrew, Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad, but anything that has to do with prayer, you have to understand what you're saying. So, if you don't understand Hebrew, you do it in here you do it in English. I'll give you later some more details, I don't want to delay the entire class. But the point is that the prayers that we do are combinations to open a safe. And if I miss one digit, the safe will not open. It's almost like not too long ago somebody was trying to to to send to send me an email. And he wasn't really computer savvy. And he kept telling me, "I'm sending you messages and you have never answered me." And I told him the same thing what I told him before. There's a lot of emails coming in. He's like, "No, no, no, no, it's months already." I told him, "What is the email that you're sending it to?" So, he's telling me the email then this at and gmail.com. So, I told him, "Yeah, but you have to put a dot between the gmail and the com." He's like, "Okay, a dot, big deal." I told him that because this dot, it's not coming through. So, one little dot, you miss, the email doesn't come through. So, this is exactly prayer. You're missing one word, it's not going to go through. So, whatever our sages compiled to us is exactly measured on the letter. You cannot take shortcuts. And the fact that you're not happy or that you don't like it, that's that's that's doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Yes, you should do both from the siddur, from the prayer book, and with your heart, with your words. I think maybe she's asking if if you want to start somewhere. You want to If you want to start, you start with your words. You're talking about to start that night or to start b'klal? No, every night I was doing it to get rid of the bad dreams that are happening. And the bad dreams went away, but I began to totally dislike having to do it. That's your yetzer hara telling you, "I don't like you." to just like pray to God with so much kavana from my heart, not the siddur, with the same thing in prayers. Okay. Instead as instead of. So, it's not instead. It's almost like taking a man now and telling him, "Don't put tefillin on. Sit like this for an hour and meditate that you're putting tefillin on." So, he can have the best kavannot, the best intention, but he didn't put the tefillin on. So, the the intentions are worthless. He has to do an action. He has to as to have the kavannot. You have to have both. But more important is the action. I'm not saying what I got. The action is the is is the bottom line. Yes, you have to have your intention. The right way to do Kriyat Shema al Hamita is to take 5 minutes and to sit down and the best way is to take a piece of paper and to write down what I did today. I lied. I cheated. I gossiped. I looked the wrong way. I answered back. I said a not nice word. You write it down. Do that every day. You'll find out a very long list. But you want to find out that list so you know what to reverse, what to to to fix so you can apologize to the right person. Maybe you owe somebody money. Might be might be two shackles. But you still owe that person money. Maybe you said something wrong to somebody. Maybe you did in some type of a way gazelle. You took something that doesn't belong to you. We're not we're not so the king. We're human beings. But if I'm not going to do this one effort, I'm not going to do this account every day. How many are going to do when it comes on Kippur? When I have like bags of things to start remembering what I did. So the right way to do Kriyat Shema al Hamita is you take 5 minutes out of your day. 20. Can take half an hour. Some people do an hour. Instead of three three hours on Facebook, then you half an hour on Facebook and 1 hour you do it what you do it and you and you and you do it. Depends on the individual. Look, some people don't need to do so much as you want to finish. They they there is pretty clear. This is not the point. The point is so we can move on. A person has to do an accounting the end of the day. He has to be honest with himself so he can point okay, what am I doing not good? The reason why you might, you know, you go woke up is because the doesn't want you to clean the home. He's happy when there's a lot of dirt. Why should you start cleaning things around? And when a person looks inside himself to start refining himself then then means he will start throwing out all the dirt. That's why he's not happy with that. So he's going to make you feel uncomfortable with the with the prayer book and tell you you are a very good woman. Just pray with your heart. He's just tricking you so you're not going to clean out the dirt. The bottom line one needs to clean the dirt at the end of the night to do because if he does it, the soul will go up to the heavenly court, will deliver that spark that he refined that day, will get rejuvenated and wake up in the morning what's called a new creation. With the new energies. You're looking at it it's a very weird thing. You go to sleep, you're totally retired. And then you sleep and you wake up after 5 6 hours, 10 hours, whatever. Renewed powers. Why? Not because your body need the rest. The needs the rest. Our body technically can go without can go without rest. Technically. But if you want you can more center it. So Kriyat Shema al Hamita is a very important part of our day because a person ends the day the right way and if you clean yourself, you do it at the end of the night then first you elevate that spark up to the right way. B, like you said, no nightmares, no anxieties, no fears, no all sorts of issues. There are there's You don't want to deal with it because at night the body is thrown on the bed and all these, you know, my second which, you know, you can explain it, you know, some people explain it as as as as an external part like something spiritual like spirits and whatever. They come and they want to bite the the holiness of the body cuz you're generating the whole night. Generating holiness. So you want to surround the body. But anyway, they don't want to do a short later on you can ask me some more questions, but the thing is that this is the most important part of the day. If a person has to concentrate on something is the how he finishes the day because the way you set your bed at the end of the night that's what's going to happen at night when you goes up to that's how you're going to wake up in the morning. You're going to wake up with the right thoughts. You're not going to wake up heavy and depressed or sad or lazy or all these things that's stopping us from jumping out of bed in the morning. But the point is that I that a person needs to live in every day. If a person every day does comes on Kippur, all he needs to do he needs to fast. Pray and give a little bit of charity and that's it. He did it already the whole year. Now why what's the whole concept of is because the reality is that we constantly sin. And it's not such a thing. That we're not going to sin. There's a reason why in the system we have sins. Because wants to constantly elevate us to a level of about it. So if I'm if I don't sin, how am I going to do it? So the the system of sinning, the option of sinning cuz could build it in a way that there wouldn't be an option of sinning. But there's a reason there's a more deep explanation and understanding for the sin. You know when you miss something is when you don't have it. You appreciate your husband, you appreciate your wife when they go away for like a week or two. You appreciate and you miss what you have when you don't have it. So sometimes creates a situation so you can miss him. What if? Or it. What do you mean or it? Oh, you mean about him? Miss him. Okay, I'm calling him him right now. situation that you had that you don't have anymore. I'm referring to that constantly wants our attention. If would not want our attention, he would leave us alone. constantly, you know, that the compares it to like a king that had a a son. And he told his son, "I'm going to give you every year a certain amount of money so you can sustain yourself." And the son would come once a year, take the check, say hello, and leave. And the the king didn't like it because the son would come once a year. So then he told his son, "You know what? I'm going to give you the exact same amount but in increments of every day you have to come and get your check." So the son for the son is just getting the money. But the king wants to see the son every day. So the wants to see us every day. He wants our attention. If we would have everything, trust me, you wouldn't pray, you wouldn't cry, you wouldn't ask. Everything I have everything. Why should I bother to pray? So makes sure that I have a reason to pray. And makes sure that he gets my attention in many different ways. And if doesn't get my attention, he will make sure he gets my attention. So if I want to not get these calls of getting the attention, then give a lot of attention. That's it. That's what wants. He just wants our attention. So creates situations that I will feel the lack of closeness to him. This is called a sin. So then I can wake up and be like okay, now I'm missing my my father. I miss my source. I don't have connection to my source. So I feel this void in me, this sadness, etc. etc. So the point is going back to the concept of is constantly to bring me to do it. Is constantly that I would reflect inside me and work on myself. Because the main reason why we came down to this world there's many reasons, but one of the main reasons and the the things we have to do in this world is called the method. Because it's what we're all obligated in doing. All the Jews are the same. There's no difference between one Jew to the other. We're all obligated in the same way. There are a few groups in our nation they have more ways. Like priests. When we have so they have more than the living in the Israel. But in general all the Jews are the same. I have to keep the rest of the Jews in the world have to keep it. There's no difference between one and the other. I have to eat kosher, you have to eat kosher. The way that a Jew does it's the air and the food for the soul. The same way that you eat food and you breathe air every day and you do not deprive your body from air and food, your soul needs air and food. That's it. You're going to start depriving yourself from getting its food, the soul's going to start bothering you. If you're not going to eat for 5 hours, you're going to get a stomach ache. Then you're going to not eat for 8 hours, you get a headache. Then you don't eat for 12 hours, you start feeling weak. And the more you deprive your body from food, it will start reacting. And I don't know anyone that can deprive his body from breathing. I never seen anyone who says okay, 1 minute we're not breathing. Nobody does it. It's built in an automatic system that you just breathe. But take your air for 1 minute, person chokes. So our body constantly needs two things to be to to to sustain itself, food and air. So the needs food and air. It needs it needs it needs to you deprive your from its food, it will bother you. So one person it will bother them with sadness. Another person it will bother them with depression. Another person it will bother them with sickness. And all sorts of issues. And we're looking at and like wondering, why is this happening? Why is that happening? Well, I'm such a good person. Why is this happening? Your is reacting. Your is screaming to you, "Hello!" You didn't give it for a whole week. So the needs it. But our main that we came down to this world is to refine our way of it. This is called the method. Because our belongs to our attributes belong to the method. And my my intellect belongs to the way. We have two in our body. Before I stopped, I told you the highest level of our neshama is called Yechida. Then comes the tzelem, the the chaya, and then we have neshama, ruach, and nefesh. These three parts are in our body. The neshama is the is so holy, it doesn't penetrate completely into the body. It has to be dressed in garments in order to move the body. Cuz it's a spiritual being. It can't move a hand. So the neshama gets dressed in garments. And it has to get dressed into the nefesh. And the nefesh is the lowest part of the neshama and that actually moves the body. And it gets dressed in the levushim of thought, thought, speech, and action. So our thoughts and our speech and our action is controlled by our nefesh. But the nefesh we have two of them. We have a nefesh Elokit. This constantly wants to run after good things and do mitzvot and learn Torah and do good acts. And never to lie and never to steal and never to cheat. And this gets its its sustenance from what's called the mochin, from chochma, bina, and da'at. But the midot our attributes belongs to the nefesh habehemit. Behemit comes from the word behema. Like an animal. Because our attribute is like an animal. So we want to eat. We want to enjoy food. And we want to enjoy sleep. And we want to enjoy the the what the world can offer me. So this part of the neshama is constantly looking for physical enjoyments. Physical pleasures. And it will pull you for the physical pleasure. The nefesh Elokit exactly like the story with Yaakov and Esav. That every time Rivka would pass next to the Beit Midrash, then Yaakov wanted to go out. He This represents the nefesh Elokit. He wanted to be close to the Torah. But every time she went next to a house of worship of chasal shalom idol worship, then Esav wanted to go out. In our body, the Yaakov in our neshama, the nefesh Elokit, it constantly wants to do good things. It wants to go to a Torah class right now. But the nefesh habehemit constantly will pull you to negative things and it will recognize the negative things. The nefesh habehemit will recognize something that will give you a physical pleasure and will distort the reality to make you think that this is the right thing to do right now. So the nefesh habehemit will tell you, you don't need to pray now for 40 minutes. Why don't you go and enjoy a bath for 40 minutes? A nice warm bath with bubbles. And it will relax you. So the nefesh habehemit is going to look how to to to entertain you physically. And it will make sense. It will bring you the the situation in a very way that his argument is better. The nefesh Elokit will constantly pull to its way. So we come here to this world to refine our midot. Now the midot are called attributes. And it's the divided into two groups. One of them is called character. In In Hebrew it's called offi. Now the character that we're born with, we cannot change. You cannot change somebody's character. Don't even try to try to change anybody's character. Not your husband's, not your kids. That's their character. Then comes the midot, the attributes, and they come to refine the character. Now a mida in Hebrew is also a not only like attribute, mida is also a measurement. A quantity. So I can take a certain attribute, like the attribute of chesed, of kindness, of love, and apply it to one of my character traits. And then I use the measurement, how much kindness I'm adding into it, and I can refine with this my character. So to give you one very extreme to one point, a person can be the ultimate chesed, ultimate just wants to give. But it's so out of control that the attribute of chesed is so dominant that a person will go and help a terrorist that just did try to kill somebody. The mida of chesed is out of control. That he wants to do something good. He wants to help a person, but it's the wrong it's it's the wrong person to help. But the mida the the attribute is out of control. Whatever. I don't want to say names or I'm just saying giving an example how sometimes an attribute is out of control. So here it's a good example of saying their offi, their character, is to be very giving. But the mida of chesed is so out of control that they do the chesed to the wrong place. Instead of taking the the act the action the the the motion of gevurah, of severity, and stopping the chesed and saying, "Okay, here I can give chesed. Here I can do kindness. Here I cannot do kindness." So you see that dafka people who are very far away from Torah and mitzvot, they don't have a control over their over their attributes, over their character. So it's directed to completely different the wrong ways and in a very extreme way. Cuz there's no control over the offi, over the character. So I don't want to I don't want to sidetrack too much about that, but the point is that we came here to refine our midot, to refine our attributes. And the only way to do it is only if I would look in me to recognize my faults. Yes, I know you want to ask a question. I I thought you forgot. I don't forget. It's just it's distracting me when I stop for good questions. How so should I not know the If it's has to do with the with what I'm I just didn't understand with with doing something good and then killing somebody. No, what I was what I meant I didn't understand what I meant that every person has a certain character. Like I like giving. A person can have a character, his character trait is giving, is loving, is compassion, is merciful. There's a long list of characters. Right. But you can be unbelievable giver. But if this giving is out of control, you have to know who to give, how much to give. You can't give your entire money. You have to have a certain measurement. I can only give you 10% of my money. I would want to give you 20, but I don't have that money. is out of a job? Forget about that right now. I'm just don't saying how you how you controlling your character. Right. A A lot of people they don't have control over their character. So a person can be extremely merciful. He can't see even a a a worm suffering. And that individual will see a terrorist on the floor. He He was just was shot. He will have compassion to that person because his character of being merciful is out of control. So he will have mercy on on the complete wrong person. And if he doesn't have control over his character by adding an attribute of what's called gevurah, of severity, of stopping it. Saying, "Okay, that person I can't have mercy on. I have to have mercy on that person." So sometimes your character is out of control. If your character is out of control, a person can give all his money away. I know certain people that they're so generous. They give more money than what they have. So their character is not monitored. It has to be monitored by a different type of attribute that is called gevurah, severity. Stop it. You have to refrain. Gevurah is refraining. Chesed is giving. So all our character traits have to be under control. And if I don't control my character traits, then I'm I'm totally not doing what I'm supposed to do. Therefore, I have my character traits. That's my That's my character. I cannot change my character. If you're a giver, you'll always be a giver. And if somebody will try to prevent you from giving, you will have inner pain. You're not going to be able to sleep because you can't give. You didn't give enough that day. But you have to use your emotions, your chara- your your attributes to control it. I wish that was the only thing that I I'm giving you one example out of many. The point is what I'm trying to say. The point what I'm trying to say is that we have our character. And it's not directed the right way. Because if it would be directed the right way, I would only do the will of the Kadosh Baruch Hu, of the will of Hashem. Cuz everything comes down to this world, it manifests from the ten sephirot. So the highest sephira I told you is called keter. Keter is a crown. The crown is holding all the information. That's the DNA of the soul. And then it will start manifesting into the sephirot. The highest character traits, the the power of the sephira of keter is called ratzon. Ratzon means a will, a desire. That's what motivates me to do things. If I don't have a ratzon, I'm not going to do nothing. If I don't have a desire to do something, I will not do nothing. I will be numb. The ratzon molid, it it gives birth to what's called machshava, thoughts. So it's like the the spirit like the the spirit to do something? It's not about the spirit. This is called ratzon. Ratzon is a desire, a will to do something. Now there two types of ratzonot. There's your ratzon, which is the wrong will, and there's the Kadosh Baruch Hu's ratzon Elyon. You have to tap into the what Hashem wants you to do. So there's two types of ratzonot. Exactly. And I'm going to give you an example in a second, but I want to first finish the From the ratzon, ratzon will give birth to machshava, to our thoughts. And the machshava, the thought, will give birth to pleasure, ta'anug. And we are built in such a way that we're constantly searching for pleasures. Doesn't matter right now physical or spiritual, but our our system is based on the fact that we're constantly running after pleasures, ta'anugot. And Hashem created in that way. So so it leads to thought? Ratzon will will Ratzon will birth a thought. How is that? I'll tell you in a second and the thought will will birth pleasure. Now, I'll give you an example. You can look at it the complete I don't will give I'll give you a different example. I have now a thought. I I want to have a nice car. Okay? Where is this thought coming from? It's coming from a desire from a Ratzon to drive a nice car cuz I just saw my neighbor has a nice car. So, my thought will activate certain powers in me to go and pursue this pleasure because ultimately why do I want a nice car? Because it will give me pleasure driving in a nice car. And it will give me pleasure that the the entire the entire neighborhood looks at me and I have the nicest car out there. So, my Ratzon, my ultimate will gives birth to a thought how am I getting this car? Why? Cuz I want to get pleasure. Now, is this the right Ratzon? No. It's my Ratzon. It's my desire. So, ultimately the pleasure that I got, a momentarily pleasure from a piece of metal is a fake pleasure. It's an empty vessel. The result will be I have a pleasure for an hour from a good meal. I have a pleasure for 2 hours from a movie. I have a pleasure at 1 week from a vacation. But all the pleasures that come from the wrong place are very limited. Then the pleasure disappears. Exactly. Now, that's a much higher level. I'm talking right now in very low level that a person is constantly running after his Ratzonot, his desires because he wants to fulfill certain pleasures. Why? Because he's empty. His vessel is empty, so he feels emptiness and sadness will manifest into low self-esteem, all sorts of all sorts of issues that we're dealing with. Why? Because my vessel is inflated and it's empty. There's nothing there. Why? Because I'm constantly running after the wrong desires. It's exactly what you called it. It's a "Set Ratzon Hakadosh Baruch Hu." Make your will His will. Now, if I want to find the ultimate happiness, it's only by me searching the What is the will of the Kadosh Baruch Hu? That's the only way I'm going to get the real happiness into my life because I'm going to build vessels and fill them up with the right lights. The point of all this explanation is that if I'm constantly focused on my own will, I'll never do what I'm supposed to do in this world. I'll never do it. And I'll keep coming here in incarnations over and over because I did not do my part in this world. I constantly have to meditate what does God want for me? And the only way to meditate what God wants for me is only if I talk to my soul so my soul can answer me because nobody will answer you that. Not any Rabbi, not any nobody. Nobody can answer you. People go to Rabbis, they pay them thousands of shekels, dollars, whatever. They're all sorts of fake people. Nobody can tell you. You're the only one who can tell the only one who can tell you what you really need to do is all in your Neshama. Cuz the Neshama is connected to the Kadosh Baruch Hu. And the only way to do it is to talk to your Neshama and wait for the Neshama to talk back. But the Torah was passed from Rebbe to Rebbe. Okay, that's the explanation how to serve Hashem and how to walk on the path to fulfill Hashem's desire. Right now, I want to know what Hashem wants for me. You have to wake up in the morning and tell to the Kadosh Baruch Hu after you say Modeh Ani, what do you want from me today? I know you want me to pray and learn Torah, but what do you What is my Avodah today? What do you want from me? Nobody will give me this answer, even the Torah. The Torah will give me tools how to get it. The Torah will give me tools how to center myself that I can go on the right path. But in order for me to know what I'm supposed to do, I have to talk to my soul. Talking to my soul, this is called Tefillah. Praying. You have to pray. And women also have to pray. There's no example exemption for women. Women have to pay at least once a day. I'm talking from a Siddur, from a book, not in your mind. No. No. You have to pray Shacharit, Mincha, or Maariv. One of them. It's hard for you? One. I said or Shacharit or Mincha or Maariv. One of them. If you want to beautify and overpower and you bring more power, you can do three Tefillot a day. You can bench. That's also considered Tefillah. Same Birkas Hamazon. No. No. No, you have to do a woman has to do either Shacharit or Mincha or Maariv, one of the three, whatever she wants. Better to do Shacharit. If it's hard for you, then do Mincha. That is not That's one That's another thing. It's like paying Arnona and paying rent. It's two separate things. You can pay You can't do one of the other. Yes. So, the point is that why do we do Tefillah? Because that's how I center my Neshama and that's how I start the my Neshama will start talking to me. But I have to follow a few other patterns. I have to do what's called Hisbodedus. Hisbodedus is not running in a field and screaming. Hisbodedus means that's level good. I have to isolate my Nefesh. Bidul Hanefesh. This is what's called Hisbodedus. Hisbodedus is that I take myself and I isolate myself from the surround from my surrounding. Phone shuts off, no computers, no nothing. Just me that I can isolate my Neshama. Bidul Hanefesh. That Why? So I can start talking to my Nefesh. And don't think you're crazy if you start talking to yourself. No. Again, it's like during just drinking water the whole day. Hold on for just 1 second. A person in order to know exactly what he needs to do in this world, he needs his Neshama to start talking to him and you need to make a connection to your Neshama. Forget about now the prayers in this. Now, I'm talking about something completely different. A person needs to find 5 minutes, 10 minutes, half an hour a day that he isolates himself from this world that he can talk to his Neshama, her Neshama, so the Neshama can answer back. This is called Hisbodedus. This is not a not not not such a extreme thing. You can do Hisbodedus on the bus. You don't need If you can meditate, you can isolate yourself. And you do another level is called Hisbonenus. This is more meditating. This There's more practice to do that. This is not what I want to teach tonight. The point is that one needs to reach to a level that he's he knows what he's supposed to do. He knows what's his Tikkun. I know what I'm supposed to do in this world. My days are not wasted. Why? Because I constantly have to achieve a certain thing in this world. The basic things, praying and this This is basic things. It's eating and drinking. That's what I said before. It's air and food. So, you have to pray once a day. Reading Tehillim is amazing. You have to do that, but it doesn't overpower something else. It doesn't say if you read 10 chapters of Tehillim that you don't have to say Krias Shema al Hamitah. It's two separate completely separate things. You have a certain agenda you need to do a certain day. You have a capacity. You go to work now. Your boss tells you you're working from 8:00 to 5:00 and I'm going to pay you a certain amount of money and if you come from 8:00 to 4:00, I'm reducing your salary. In the spiritual world, you're just lacking something. So, you know, it's not about pay. It's what you're lacking. So, I have an agenda. I have what to do this day and if I don't do it, I'm wasting a day. And the next day I'll have double to do it and then the next day I'll have triple to do it. I don't want I want I want it to be the last round. I don't want to come here back anymore anymore. Besides the fact Mashiach is coming, there's no time now to take to consideration I'll come in another Gilgul. So, every day now is extremely important. It's nothing to do with it. No. It's literally what you're saying now is equivalent to saying I'm going to feed now a thousand people. A thousand people I'm going to feed. But today I'm not eating. So, a thousand people are full, but you're starving. So, the fact that you feed a thousand people is unbelievable, but it doesn't overpower or fulfill what you're supposed to do. It's an amazing Mitzvah. It's unbelievable, but you still have to worry about yourself. You have to do You have to give your Neshama its sustenance. So, this is one thing. This is your daily Avodah, but mainly I need to know what am I doing in this world because if I wasted a day, it's a day that will pass and I and it's lost. And the next day I'm going to have to work double hard. And this is the concept of Teshuvah. This is Pesach Sheni. Pesach Sheni, maybe it's marked as Yud Dalet Iyar, but Pesach Sheni is the fact of doing Teshuvah. Is the fact that I have to move myself out of my Meitzar, out of my limitation. I have four wheels in my wagon. Look at these huge trucks, 18 wheels. One wheel stuck in the mud, the whole truck, the whole wagon is stuck. So, you can be performing 95% good, but 5% is still stuck in the mud. You have to concentrate on that 5%. And this is what you need to take from tonight is the fact that every day We're not Tzaddikim. We do a lot of bad things. Why? So I can refine it. So I can work on it. And then when I work on that, I'm done with that, I'm going to move to the next step and I move to the next step. And when I read tons of Tehillim and feed a thousand people, it will give me a lot of power to do it, but I still have to do the actual work. And I have to do everything together. Now, if I don't know what I need to do, if I'm not focused on my my job, then I can I can do a lot of good things, but I'm not I'm concentrating. I'm not putting my effort on the right thing. And my entire daily avodah is to first of all concentrate on what I need to do. So when our sages told us you have to open a book and read from it and to pray, 99% of our nation don't like to pray because they don't know what it means and they don't tap into the power of prayer. When a person reaches to the level that they understand what prayer is does to him and he actually feels it, he she same thing, then they want to go and pray. The majority of most people they just do it they're just accepting the yoke and going to go. You're better doing it like this than not doing it at all, but the point is that prayer is like your your IV. Your neshama gets a boost. But if you say it in Hebrew and you don't understand it, don't we get the merit as if I'm like it's The halacha No, the halacha is the halacha is that you have to understand what you're praying. The only thing that you have to say in Hebrew is Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Echad. And there are certain things that you have to say in Hebrew, but if I would now offer you a job that pays a million dollars a month, you would say I want that job. Doesn't matter what it is. I say okay, the term to get this job is the factory is based in Brazil. I need you to learn Portuguese. It will take you half an hour half a year to learn the language. You still want the job? Yeah, of course I want the job. I'll go learn the language to make a million dollars a month. So Hashem tells you, I'm giving you a million dollars a second. You want to learn my language? So about that, somebody who understands goes and learns the language. Now I'm not telling to you now to leave your entire agenda and learn Hebrew, but if I want to serve Hashem the right way, I have to serve Hashem I need to learn the language. So any person that wants to connect to Hashem the right level, so he takes and every day he learns one pasuk and and learns here another pasuk. The reality is that most people don't even know what they read. They read it they can even understand the Hebrew they don't understand. There's different books. One of the books is called Perush Milot. It dissects the words you understand what you're actually saying. So certain things you can say you can only say in Hebrew. But you have to understand your prayers. If you don't know Hebrew yet, then you pray in English. Shema Yisrael you have to say in Hebrew. To come home and pray The Hebrew you can say in Hebrew without understanding and better to say it in Hebrew. Don't say it to him in English. You don't have to understand Tehillim. Even though it's considered learning Torah and you have to understand Tehillim, you can read all day long without understanding one word. Better to read Tehillim in Hebrew. But in regards to prayer, this should be a very basic and fundamental thing that you want to concentrate on, so you want to master it. You want to learn slowly slowly. So the important thing is learn the Shemoneh Esrei. Learn the words. And every week work on one on bracha. So you know the meaning to it that you can say it in Hebrew and pronounce it the right way because to to to make you understand what it means when you say it in Hebrew, remember in the olden days we had these radios with the dial? And if you're not right on the frequency, you hear all the static. This is this is davening. And if you don't say it the right way, that's why the pronunciation is so important. You go to a shul, you hear the baal koreh reads from the Torah. If he chas v'shalom will say he the whole CONGREGATION WHO WHAT LITTLE DOT THIS ONE LITTLE DOT IS VERY IMPORTANT. So how you pronounce the word is how it sounds in shamayim. The Baal Shem Tov once saw some of his people followers whoever was in the shul they were talking. So he told him, you know that one day you'll come up to shamayim and they'll play the recording of your davening. So you know how it's going to sound? Ashrei yoshvei veiter ha'aretz. How are you doing today? So you're going to hear the davening you're going to hear the pasuk and the the nonsense that you talked in between. So every word that comes out of our mouth, you're producing something. When you say now a a certain pasuk, you are producing you're creating spiritual letters. So you want to pronounce it the right way. There's a reason why every little dot is so particular. If it's a kamatz, if it's a patach, there's a reason for that. It's not an invention. So somebody came and say okay, let me let me torture them now and I'm going to put a lot of dots. There's a reason for that. How you pronounce the word. So you want to slowly slowly learn and know how to say the bracha. What does it mean? So you can concentrate on that and I guarantee to you your davening is going to be a thousand times more powerful and you're actually going to be able to bring to you this energy back to you. So you want to slowly slowly better faster taking your time and yeah. Tefillah is one of the most important things that it's the basic the foundation of our service of God. And if somebody is not concentrating on their tefillah, then they're missing a big piece of their avodah of the avodas Hashem. So the point is because I know you have a lot of questions and I want to answer all your questions. I know. What what what we want to take out of tonight is very very simple. The concept that I can constantly correct the wrong doing that I did and the reason why I am doing some bad things let's call it is to correct it. Is to refine it. To to have the ability of taking something that is not so refined and to refine it. And to be able to do the motion or that I can transform darkness into light. There's a question in the Zohar why what what what is our avodah in this world? Why are we why why are we here? What are we supposed to do here? Rabbi Shimon says in the Zohar, we were created for one thing. Kad kafya sitra achra. I have to subdue my sitra achra, my evil inclination. Constantly all day long it will come and attack me and I have to subdue it. And when I subdue it, this is called itkafya. Itkafya is to subdue. If I'm able to subdue my yetzer hara, then the result will be hitkafya hashachar lenohara, transforming the darkness into light umariru lemekiko and bitterness into sweetness. That's why I'm here. So constantly I'm going to have a battle with my yetzer hara. My job is not to fall into despair, rather to I'm like a I'm Mike Tyson right now and I have to fight him. And every time I knock him down, I did my job. This is what I was what I was created for. So that's why there's even the the concept of me able to sin. Why? So I can get up because Hashem wants us to be baalei teshuvah. When first when we got the Torah, we were in the level of tzaddikim. But then we sinned in the golden calf. So when we got the second set of the Torah, we were already in the level of baal teshuvah. The Gemara says makom she tzaddikim gemurim omdim Excuse me, baalei teshuvah omdim tzaddikim gemurim einam yecholim la'amod. A place where a baal teshuvah is standing, a tzaddik gamur cannot stand. Why? Because a tzaddik can reach a certain level. Of course the tzaddikim say well well well, don't take it the wrong way. Where a baal teshuvah stands, tzaddikim gemurim einam yecholim la'amod. They continue going and going. But the point is that a baal teshuvah is is a higher level than a tzaddik. So a baal teshuvah you have to understand is not a person that's chozer b'teshuvah. There's two different terms. Chozer b'teshuvah is a person who constantly chozer to the sin. He goes back to the sin, goes back to the teshuvah, goes back to the sin, go back to the teshuvah. This is chozer b'teshuvah. Baal teshuvah is a person who owns the teshuvah. Like you own a house, you are the baalim, the owner. So baal teshuvah is that I conquered it. That's it. So Hashem wants us to be baalei teshuvah. He wants us to be in a very high level. So he gives us the option of sinning so I can get up, brush it off and move on. And the point is that this is part of my avodah and I have to reach into the depth of my neshama to pull out the the information. What am I supposed to do? I open up my eyes today I say modeh ani okay, Hashem what what's the job what's the task for today? Give me the task. That's why the first thing I do in the morning is I go and pray so I can open up a channel and get some information. I have to do this today. You do it the right way, you're going to get it very obvious and clear. That's why it's even for women it's good to pray shacharis. So wake up half an hour earlier. Why? Because when you target yourself and you centered yourself the right way, when you're done praying, it will come into you like a like a you'll get a fax from shamayim. This is what you have to do today. This is my task. A woman has no problem with time. A man has to pray till zman tefillah. A woman is not bound to time. Of course it's not the right way to pray shacharis at 10:00 at night. You want to you want to you want to match it more or less to the time. No, that's for men. Men have what's called zman tefillah, zman krias shema, zman tefillah. Yeah, this is the men's problem. A man cannot pray shacharis at 12:00 in the afternoon. This is this is not considered a right prayer. Hold on, I'm going to be with you in a second. A woman is not bound to time. But the point is is not to make your life hard. I'm not coming to make your life hard and the sages didn't come to make your life hard. Exactly. Exactly. I don't want to go down to the to the Allah here. You wake up in the morning pray Shacharit and then if it's already 2:00 in the afternoon then pray Mincha. You want to center it to the time that that's what's going on there because each feel like each prayer is corresponding to a certain piece of the day. But the point is this not to go down now to to the Allah how to do every little thing. The point is to understand is that every day of my life is a very important day and if I do not fulfill my mission that day, I wasted the day and sometimes the Allah is going to come and tell you, "Yeah, feed a thousand people today and do everything that you do to distract you from what you have to focus on." How do how do I know what That's exactly what I say that when you wake up in the morning the first thing that you do is you you you you pray, you learn, you center yourself to the so you can get this hash raw. Now if if a person starts the day and by opening the newspaper and reading his emails and answering his messages and and First of all, most likely he will pray at 11:00. That's the the the fat of the the the the fat of the of the sacrifice has to go to the says that's the morning hours which means you wake up in the morning you don't open the phone. You don't open the computer. You don't do anything. You go to the you go and learn so you can with a minion right away so you open your day with and meditation and then right away you learn Then you become if you become an open channel then already will give you the the the what's your job for today. It will just be obvious. You know how it will be obvious? You'll walk out of the and somebody come and tell you, "Listen, I'm stuck with my car. Can you help me push it?" That's the of the day. And it might it might not come in the in the morning it might come in the afternoon. That your friend or somebody will come and tell you, "I really need help right now." You'll be like, "No, but I'm planning on going to the Torah." But I really need your help right now and you'll be like, "That's that's the that's the of the day." And you're not going to try to somehow avoid it in any ways cuz it's going to be clear that that's what you have to do today. But you have to ask a sham I'm your I'm your servant. What am I doing today? What what is the job? But you cannot do that if you're starting your day at 11:00 and you cannot do that if you don't center yourself if you're not focused the right way. That's why you start the day the right way and how do you start it? The night before. The way you set your bed, that's how you're going to sleep, that's how you're going to wake up. So if you started the night before by Tisha B'Av, Tisha B'Av is cleaning my my plate. If I did something severe that the the Tisha B'Av on is not going to really help much. Although in the volume of if my Tisha B'Av is sincere even if I did something severe at night, I still have you know there's a whole question. Unfortunately in our generation many men they they they fell in a certain of Allah. And the will make them in the morning not to go and pray. Oh, last night you did such a big how are you going to go and pray tonight or or tomorrow? You have the to walk into a show. That size that even if a person if a man has to falls in that sin at night he should still say at night. Because why go to sleep with all this dirt on you? Okay, you can't find a if you live in a place like this I don't know how it is in where I live you can find a for hours a day. So you go to the yeah, you do you do your you can't find a go take a shower. A long shower. You can't find do that there's a certain things what you can do hold on I'll be with you in 5 minutes. The point uh No, we have 12 minutes. The point is is that everything can and has to be corrected and every moment of my day I have the opportunity to fix what I didn't do and this is the main message of behind the the the the second is that even if I missed something in the morning not to fall into despair and say, "Okay, that's it. I messed up and the whole day is is is is messed up." No, every second I can do Allah. Every second I can correct something. And that's the state of mind that I have to live by that I constantly have the opportunity to reverse the situation. But ultimately ultimately the main thing what we want to take from this whole concept of second day What did they really do? The people who were impure and the people who were out on the journey they came and demanded it's not fair that we can't give a carbon. They demanded in such a level that the the went to and the says, "You know what? Okay, they're demanding so much, I'll give them a second opportunity." You know why they got because they demanded. They were like, "It's not fair." It's not fair that I had some type of impurity and now I can't offer the the sacrifice. I want to offer a sacrifice like all the Jews. They demanded the opportunity to sacrifice a from the the gave it to them. What we need to learn from that is something very very simple. 1900 years we did not sacrifice, we didn't give offerings. 1900 years from the destruction of the second temple and nobody's demanding from that we want to give a carbon. Nobody's demanding from the I want to give a carbon. How can it be that I don't have a here? The problem is that nobody's demanding it. If one person will demand, "Hey, I want a it's not fair. It's not fair that 2000 years ago my ancestors were able to give us a carbon. Why can't I give one? It's not acceptable. And if we demand from the to have the cuz we want to do the we're going to get it. The problem is that we don't demand and this is if you want to meditate on something for is you demand from the we want the already. I want to come I want to buy a sheep and I want to bring it to Jerusalem. I I I'm fed up with this and if I don't demand I'm not going to get nothing. We don't demand. That's the problem. That's why we're still in dollars. That's what the says. We need to demand that the is going to be right now. I want the it's not fair. Why am I different from a Jew from 2000 years ago? Why he could come to with a with a sacrifice? Why am I different from him? The attitude should be for everybody not only for Allah. The attitude should be that every Jew should demand. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. I want the Allah. I'm not able to fulfill 80% of my votes because I don't have the and I don't have priests and I I can't do and I can't do and I can't do all of these things. That's not fair. The problem is that we're not demanding the Allah. This is the second day. We have to start demanding. Okay. Okay? Questions? Oh, so