Paying Our Debt (Ep. 330)

Hi, this is David Olowski and welcome back to the Rabbi Olowski show. And whether you're watching with our friends and producers over at any time or wherever you watch and listen to your podcast, as always, we're so happy to have you along. And maztov to our producer Ari Vett in Baltimore who uh had a baby. I think his wife also had something to do with it. the maz from all of your kind the tremendous that you do for in uh producing and promoting the Rabowski show. So that you know I I have to tell you that in many ways Ahri takes more pride in this show than I do. [laughter] It works very hard. So uh Yasha I've been really blessed with with producers who work very hard to be able to make sure that this you know uh we get to be murame the message that we have and uh it's really been uh you know they they have a sense of mission so that makes all the difference in the world. Um uh [clears throat] I uh have to remind everybody depending on your platform don't forget to like, subscribe, um share and uh the something else that you're supposed to do what? Comment and comment. [laughter] Yeah, do that too. So that uh you know uh almost every week I hear from somebody who says to me, "I just discovered the show and now he's going back listening to seven years of it." What a what a pity that their lives have been so dark all these years without the Rabbi Olowski show. So uh let us procilitize and help other people find out about it. So there's a lot to be gained from it. I saw in one of the Jewish publications, one of these podcasts uh taking out uh advertisements to get people to watch. We did that actually once. Uh it didn't get us anybody, but um but uh it did uh it did spend some money anyway. So uh that's your sponsorship money going to advertisements. So I'd rather that you do that instead because uh we still need sponsors for the Raviolski show. So, uh please if uh you're thinking of, you know, um uh sponsoring in honor of a special occasion or if there's someone you're just really annoyed at and you want me to say a terrible screed against them, I'm prepared to do it for money. [laughter] Um we have a uh Rabowski has a trip planned. Um, I found this out for my daughter [laughter] who's also one of those people who work hard to try to promote me. I started getting emails from different people asking about my availability and where I am. And uh, I haven't had a trip in a while. I mean, gosh, it must have been last the last time I traveled to speak was in England for Project Inspire last summer. This is almost a year that I haven't had one of these trips. So, I am available. I have a limited number of Shabosum, it'll be basically during the three weeks. I'll I'll I'll lock in the dates, but um if you want me to uh do a shabas, if you have one of those, you know, vacation village type places, you know, with a bunch of places and you know, you you want to have me speak over there, I'm available. I'm can do a shabatone. Uh I I can do lectures during the weeks if you want. I can do children's parties. I don't do balloon animals, but I do do magic tricks. You know what I mean? D. Right. So, we have that. [laughter] I'm also very good at technical stuff. If you need me to like cook the food for Shabas and set up, I can do that, too. [laughter] I I I've I've had three uh three things that I've really been playing with doing in my golden years. One is I always wanted to play the trumpet. So, uh that's that's that's [laughter] uh I I still have that one filed away. The other one is I wanted to learn how to tap dance. I always wanted to learn how to tap dance, but it's really hard to find an all men's tap dance group in Jerusalem. [laughter] So I could just like sort of fake it, you know. And uh and I was thinking of becoming a caterer. So I am available for that too. But uh whatever you want, let us uh let us know and contact us through uh the reviolski.com uh uh website. And um you know, we're putting together the trip now, so it should be very exciting. Uh don't forget our merch store, our everexpanding merch store. Uh, you can go to my website.com and go to the merch. And there's no reason that everyone shouldn't have their own Rabi Alowski mug. So, okay, when you have your Rabowski mug, then you can do what I do, which is mug for the camera. [laughter] Okay. And we have a sponsor for this episode. this year is being sponsored to celebrate over 10,000 downloads of the battle of the generation. That's the name. It's all in quotes. The battle of the generation. Struggling with Shmeirim, whether from the sights of summer or something more. Guarding our eyes and our times can be difficult. No, it's not difficult. It's nearly impossible. The battle of the generation shows how you can overcome this challenge and reach great heights. It's uplifting guilt trip free style will help you develop a refreshing perspective on life and that will help you battle the sahara with excitement. Yeah, trust me the last thing you need is more excitement. [laughter] It's mom is unbelievable. It's unbelievable that the that what Arador is being exposed to maybe in ancient Greece and Rome maybe yeah maybe by the canananim but uh but through most of world history there was not this level of pretess that we are facing on a regular basis and the reason you have eyelids is because the things that you're supposed to close your eyes and not look at because once you see it, it stays in your brain forever and you capture the entire image. So, it's a really important thing. It's a terrible thing and it goes right into your soul and you can never remove that thought from your memory. It's always there. you can you access it later when you don't realize it. But it's uh uh the the the images stay in your head forever. And we are assaulted things that used to be considered beyond the pale. Now nobody even thinks twice about it. It's it's so pervasive. And I'm not only talking about in the outside world in the f community. Want to hear something terrible? Sure you do. Yeah. Um, I heard from a not from photographer. He says, "The hardest job that I have is when I go to film a from wedding because when you go to a secular wedding, okay, people aren't necessarily dressed appropriately, but they're not as distracting as from women who dress to the nines and it's hard to concentrate on my job." What a condemnation. Yeah. So what Rabono was saying about the battle of the generation? Quote, it has been a long time since I was so impressed by a book. Rabbi Benion Schaefer. Quote, the battle of the generation is truly the best book in this genre. Rabbi Ariken, a monumental work which with Hashem's help will cause many of our brothers to win the battle of our generation. Rabbi Morai Potach quote this could be this could very well be the catalyst to bring Msiah in our times Rabbi Ayon Khan in this book you will learn the four essential strategies for regaining control how to be excited to fight the atara how to be unfased by unwanted thoughts how to deal with guilt without losing your drive to break free that Hashem wants you despite everything you've done how you can become Great. Gosh, doesn't this sound like the Rabi Alowski show? It was car copied right out. So, that sounds like a good thing. All this without any guilt tips and with completely clean language that makes the book safe for all ages. Well, I guess in that way it's not like the Rabowski show. What readers are saying about the battle of the generation, these are readers regarding the battle of the generation every day has been a great motivator for me and really put a positive light on this whole challenge. My entire perspective towards this challenge that we all face has thus shifted dramatically. I am no longer depressed about the challenge that we have. Although at times it can be really hard and excruciatingly painful. I accept that this is the challenge of our generation and realize that this is exactly how I meant to grow bigger. It's not despite the challenge that I will grow. It's a challenge that enables me to grow. FC. Um, they only give the initials here. So, this uh uh since this book is not onhur, you might try to track these people down and figure out who made these comments. [laughter] Just kidding. I have given copies of the book The Battle of the Generation to a number of Rabon. 100% of the feedback was very positive and they were all struck by the remarkable positive attitude that the author betrays towards Indis VK. Yeah. Very which is very knowledgeable. The book the battle of the generation is written in a very careful and sensitive way. It does not mention any explicit terms and it's safe even for people that were not exposed. DT for me it has literally been life-changing SK thousands have been helped this is from the husk of Ben Sha for the book deals with strategies and motivations tips and techniques to effectively work on shmeari I feel this is a very significant resource one of the great challenges of taking on this issue is that is a double-edged sword yeah on the one hand we have to focus on the extent of the damage but on the other hand we can't feed into the great trick of the satan of making ourselves feel like a failure. This book does a great job of walking that line. It is on target, clear, uplifting, and real. It wasn't written from an ivory tarot. It was written by one who has been there fighting the fight of our generation. It has been a long time since I was so impressed by a book. It was bold, frank, and clear, and an excellent work. I highly recommend it to anyone now, anyone working on this issue. Now available as a printed book, an ebook, or an audio book. Go to tin nyurl.com uh backbattle genen to buy a copy and go to tinyurl.com/battleamazon. Ladies, buy a copy and leave it around for your husband and sons to read. You might just change their lives and yours. Okay, well that's all we have time for this week. It's been a pleasure. [laughter] Just kidding. Uh, I've uh issue issue that's been I've spoken about in the past. I know I say that, but I have spoken about in the past. I don't know if I've developed it quite as well as I wanted to, but uh it is a problem that I believe is inherent to our generation. It's one of those defining one of those defining problems in our generation I think and I will illustrate it as follows. The masil shash begins. I've been teaching Shasharm for uh close to 40 years. Shar begins. The foundation of piety and the roots of perfect service to Hashem is it should be clear to the point of truth to a person. Now when I teach sha alf in seminary when I used to teach I don't teach anymore I've lost all my jobs through my wit and personality but when I used to teach I would always say in sha alf I mistransate this line on purpose. Yeah. The foundation of everything is to know why are you alive and what we should put our outlook and our longings in all of our daily struggles. And then I go on to explain why we're alive and why we were created in this world etc. When I come to Shaabet I finally translate it literally. And I figure by the second year I can translate it honesty. And that is the first question you have to ask yourself is what is your obligation in this world? Now why don't I translate that way in shaet because nobody wants to hear the word. I don't have to do anything. Um I have on occasion uh dealt with kids who are off the derek and uh I can probably sum up their philosophy as follows. I don't want to I don't have to and you can't make me. That's the basic philosophy. If I don't want to I don't have to. I have no I don't owe you anything. Now, I'm always amazed by people, you know, very often these kids who uh um decide not to be with the program, uh they complain how people don't respect them. But it says in these people have a tendency to treat everybody else with total contempt. I was speaking once in one of these uh yeshivas for you know kids who were not with the program and I got through my whole speech but there was this underlying level and tension. So when uh they asked me the second time to come and speak, I said, "I can't really speak. I can't speak to an audience where a guy could get up in the middle and curse me out and walk out of the room." And they said, "Well, yeah, that could happen." I said, "I can't I can't work that way. If you can't provide me with basic respect, then we're we're not having conversation anymore. There's nothing we can accomplish. There has to first be mutual respect and understanding and then we can talk we can talk about ideas but the ideas are basically I don't have to if I don't want I don't want to have to. Now, I'd like to tell you that that's limited to what they call the OTD uh community, but it's not because I have met many from people who have expressed the same concept. So, I have met with people maybe a dozen people who have expressed the same idea. I don't owe Baru anything. He decided to create me. He owes me. And it doesn't take long before they say the same thing about their parents. I don't owe my parents anything. They decided to have me. Now they owe me. I don't owe them anything. So I would say, well, you know, I guess if you express this to your parents and you say, well, I never asked to be born, they should pull out a gun and say, I didn't realize this was a problem. I'll solve it right now. So that used to give people pause. Not today. People say no. Once they decide to have me, they have no choice. They have to take care of me for the rest of their lives. They can't get rid of me. They can't send me away. It's their obligation because they made a choice. Now you understand why there are so many people who don't want to have children. What a miserable ingrate. Could you imagine if someone stopped you on the street and handed you a baguh with $10,000 in it and you would be like, "So what do you want? A thank you. I don't owe you anything." Now calculate how much money your parents have given you over the course of a lifetime. Just dollars and cents, what it turns into. The says we owe our parents because they uh they took care of us as a baby. Babies are uh not a lot of fun. They don't do a lot. You have to feed them. You have to change their diapers. You have to take care of all kinds of stuff you got to do with babies and they do it completely selflessly and they give and then they become, you know, toddlers and they walk around their house and they write on your walls, you know, and they dump toys on the ground and then walk away, you know, and you're cleaning up after them. And then when you're ready to go out to dinner with your wife and you're both dressed up, they suddenly get a fever of 104 and you could see the thermometer melting in their mouth. You know what I mean? And you're like, "That's it. Now we stay home. We take care of a sick kid." And then the kid walks in, you know, 8:00 at night. His bedtime was 7:00. And he says, "I just remembered I have to project for tomorrow." And there the parents are making a project, you know, making a report, doing whatever it has to be done because the kid left at the last minute and doing for them and taking care of them until they're old enough to say, "You've never done anything for me in my entire life. I hate you." Yeah. All you've done is mess me up. All you've done is this. All you've done with a list of complaints, one and great. And so I could understand a parent who says, "I don't want to have any kids. Can you guarantee me that my kids won't turn out like these monsters?" Nope. Not today. There was a time when I was a kid. Every kid had a an appreciation. I I'll never forget one of the most dramatic things that has been on the Rabbi Olowski show and all the years I'm doing it that there are certain things I reflect on from the show over the years and one of them is when Nissen Black was on and he said he grew up in the ghetto and he would go to school and come hack and do his homework till I don't know fifth grade, sixth grade before he got into the other stuff in his community, you and his father was growing marijuana in his closet. And I said, "Your dad is in and out of prison for drugs. He's growing drugs in your room." And you got morning and went to school. And he said, "I was one of the lucky kids. I had a father. Most pe mo most people in my community didn't have a father." And I just think about that and say he didn't turn around and say, "Oh, my parents were this, my parents were that, my dad was this, my dad that." And he had he had what to talk about. He said, "I'm lucky I had a father." It's an amazing thing that is. Yeah. Um uh I wasn't the stellar son, but okay. My father, you know, was a challenging person, but my goodness, you know, he chose to have he had six boys. He would have had 12 if my mother could. She couldn't have any kids after six. But, you know, he wanted a dozen kids. That was a dream of his, even though what a financial burden, but he wanted to do it. It was important to him to bring children into this world and to raise them up. He said to me once, "One of my greatest uh you know um uh sources of pride that I I all my kids got married and I helped them all be buy houses." You know, he was so proud that he was able to do that. It was it was a sense of Yeah. So, I'm going to turn around and say he yelled at me, he this, he that, you know, whatever it is, he couldn't say a nice word. Okay, look how much he did for me. and and and people turn around and say I don't have hakar to my parents you got to be the biggest misery in the world and as kazal tell us [snorts] after the of the sadas there was no punishments yet yeah comes first to and he says why did you eat from the tree and says it's my wife's fault and say the kazal at that moment he was cuffy to that's what you say that's the lack of appreciation for the fact that I gave you a wife you know it's it's her fault it's your fault for giving a wife to me wow you know and I was an ingrate I I admit it I look back when I play that worthless fantasy of mine of going back in time, you know, with my memories, waking up again as a child, I would treat my parents a lot differently. Don't don't make a mistake. I wasn't I I I wasn't a bad kid, you know. I did the cooking and I did the clean. There was no no girls in my house. It was six boys. And I just wasn't confident enough to go to work with my dad, you know. So, I I did the cooking and I did the cleaning and I did the shopping. And you know, uh, I used to have a they got me a bicycle with a big basket in the front and two baskets on the side. And then when I got a little older, I could do what my older brother did was pull a shopping cart on my bicycle driving home from the supermarket. Yeah. My brother, actually, my brother Gdalian Muny, he could pull two and steer with his feet in the Scottus. I couldn't do that. But, uh, I could pull one shopping cart. I do the cooking and I do the cleaning and the laundry and that you know I knew how to do all those things. That's that's what I did. I contributed. I didn't complain and say why we have to do this and that. It wasn't that. I wouldn't do it immediately. That's true. You know my mother would say you know what what are you sitting there for? What are you wasting your time? I used like to read. Stop reading. Go and empty the dishwasher. [laughter] And I [clears throat] would have a lot more appreciation. My father was a florist. You had a florist in nursery. I remember at one point I here's a memory from my youth. I remember at one point he redid the landscaping in front of our house and he put in these colored lights to shine on different bushes, different colored lights. And I remember as a kid that I thought that was pretty cool. And I think about it when I drive off of uh Jerusalem highway, depending where I'm coming in from, and I pass by uh Sakurov, and uh they have over there too colored lights, and I think of it. I said, I never told my dad that I thought that was cool. I never told him I thought that was nice. So such a cuffly tove after everything he did for me. You know people someone asked me once in a reason question answer goes how could you you know speak so glowingly about your father after everything that they did to you? Why? Because he did everything wonderful for me. I he wasn't the uh uh 100% what I wanted. Guess what? Neither was I. So he used to call you a low yudsluck. I said, "Great. That means he took care of me. [laughter] That worked to my advantage. Imagine if he thought I was capable. What a mess I would be." [laughter] Lally, he saw through and saw that I was a mess. And he says, "You're such a mess. I have to take care of you." And I was like, "Okay, Dad." [laughter] So, I mean, the challenges that he had to face, but it doesn't make a difference. I know somebody whose father abandoned him as a child. His mother had to raise him. He never saw his father ever that he remembers. He left when he was a baby. [snorts] And um he his mother raised him. She sent him to Yeshiva. He became he got married. He got a good job. He has children. And at some point he gets a call from a lady in Florida. She says, "I'm married to your father. He passed away. She's not Jewish." She says, "If you want to give him a burial, that's fine. If not, I'm going to like basically dump him in potter's field, you know. I'm not spending any money on him." This is after they were married for many years. She felt no obligation to him. This guy has never seen his father. He went down to Florida. He got in touch with the Kadisha. They got him a Jewish funeral and he sat shiver for his father. I'm trying to imagine what you say. So tell me about your dad. Um [laughter] and I remember saying, "Why would you do all that?" And he said, "Cuz he was my father, that's it. That's enough. He gave me life." And life may not be great, but consider the alternative, which is non-life. And people who say, "Well, I didn't ask to be born. I didn't ask God to create me. I didn't ask my parents to have me." If you don't kill yourself, then that's proof that you thought it was a good thing. If I give you a gift and you keep it and you use it, someone buys you a car and you say, "Well, I don't owe you anything." And you drive the car every single day and you say, "I don't owe you anything for getting me this car. I don't have any sense of appreciation." What a terrible attitude. What a terrible, miserable attitude. And that's what permeates our generation. Even in the Gisha world, if you want to kill yourself, they understand that's called mental illness. They'll put you in lockdown in the hospital because we understand if you want to kill yourself, there's something wrong with you. Why don't you appreciate life? We don't have the attitude of, "Yeah, I understand why you'd want to kill yourself. You didn't ask to be born. Life is miserable." No, we say that's a mental illness that you want to kill yourself. Life is difficult, but life is is is uh is filled with so much positive and it's your problem if you don't see that. And that's what we should be focusing on and what we should be working on. But to turn around and just say that lack of hakarov and it and it permeates our relationship with our parents and it permeates our relationship with and so people turn around and they say nah you know I don't owe a koshu anything I don't have to do any mitzvah I don't have to do anything nothing he chose to create me thanks for nothing mom's a cuff to and I said to my parents I don't owe them anything I had children over the years [snorts] who would say to me something like uh you have no right to treat me this way I said the last time I checked it says give it aim it doesn't say give it benubas honor your parents not honor your children. But that's how we look at it. Everyone owes me. And so we live in a generation where everybody owes me. Kimmeia Kimmere. So a fellow I know uh he said this gave calls me up. Now I'm not a giver. I'm not a big a big person. I'm not a wealthy person. and uh says to me uh can you lend me money? So I had some money that you know from an investment you know I knew the guy was good for it. I said sure I'm happy to do the mitzvah of lending a Jew money you know sure. So I said but why? I said you you got you know you're well off. He says all my money's tied up. It's in deals. It's in real estate. Yeah. if I if I sell anything now, I'm going to lose money. And my daughter got married to a boy. And part of the agreement was that I would buy them an apartment. That's what we do here in Israel. Next time you're in America and you complain about making a wedding, we know we make the wedding, we have to buy an apartment. Yeah. Or half an apartment, you know. So, I promised I'd get them an apartment. But right now, I'm not liquid. I don't have the money. So, I've been renting them a very nice apartment in the meantime. And then I got a haza to basin. The Jewish court contacted me calling me in as a case. My son-in-law is suing me for his apartment. I said to my daughter, "You're suing me?" He says, "Not me. It's my husband and that." He says, "No problem. You want your apartment? I'll get you your apartment. So, I'm going to borrow the money. I'm going to buy them an apartment right next to his parents and that's it. Good luck to you. I'm done. You're going to sue me. Friend of mine tells me that he has a cousin who was supporting his daughter and son-in-law in Israel uh for a number of years. quite a number of years apparently. And he was paying everything. He was paying their rent. He was paying their food bills. When they wanted to go out for dinner, he paid that. Every now and then he'd pay for them to come to America. And he was supporting them for a number of years while he they were learning. And eventually the boy decided he was done learning. He wanted to go to law school. And he wanted his father-in-law to pay the tuition. He wanted to go to NYU. Now that cost a lot of money. So the farm law said, "Listen, I'm willing to pay for law school, but I'm not paying for NYU. I don't have that kind of money, but you know, can go to a state school and and I'll pay the money." Some law said, "You won't pay for me to go to law school at NYU. I'm through with you." And they never spoke to their parents again. Wow. You know the Garra says that it says you'll have long life by honoring your parents. The opposite is also true. You're not afraid. You're not afraid. But forget about that. Forget about the consequences. You know what a cuffway to you have to be after all these years he's been sitting there and supporting you and you could just turn around and spit in his face cuz you didn't get what you wanted. And people do the same thing. I dab into Hashem that he should X and he did not. So now I I'm not I don't have to do anything for him really. I remember there was a bumper sticker. God, what have you done for me lately? Uh, amazing. Absolutely amazing. Did you wake up this morning? I had uh a heart attack and a bypass. Then I had stances put in. Then I had to have another procedure to fix the stances. Yeah. And after that, the doctor said, "Listen, uh, I don't know what to tell you. We have we're out of options. We can't open you up again. There's no more place for stances. I can't fix the rest of them. So, you know, maybe you can make some lifestyle changes or if not, don't start any long books." So, it's become uh, you know, almost routine now. People asked me, "How you doing?" I said, "I woke up this morning more than that I can't ask. So things don't go my way. Still alive. I tell my wife sometimes when things aren't going well. I said, "Hey, look, I'm still alive. If I was dead, your life would be much more difficult. You know, you'd have to marry a a nice guy and then you'd lose all those you get being married to me." [laughter] I said, "That's not the worst part. The worst part is, you know, can I know we have a lot of grandchildren that every sim have to get up and say, I know that Abu is here with us up in Shayim. I'm sure he wants to be there." I hate when they do that. I'd much rather see, here's Zadei. Nobody particularly likes him, but he showed up. [laughter] [clears throat] But gosh, what else do you have to ask for? You woke up this morning, the sun is shining. Look at all the good things in your life. But we don't. We complain. I didn't get this and I didn't get that. My parents didn't do this for me. Didn't do that for me. You have to feel we make a in the morning. Men make a in the morning. that thank you for not making me a woman and a woman makes a no you made me according to your will. So there are women who are offended. They're offended. Jackie Mason used to use that word. People tell me after the show they're offended. Here's a poor old Jew trying to make a living. What are you being offended for? [laughter] Anyway, they're offended. How come they don't make a I said because these brahas are unmit mitzvah. We say because a Jew has more mitzvah than a non-Jew because a free Jew has more mitzvah than a slave. And we say because men have more mitzvah than women. women of from mitzvah positive mitzvah that are dependent on time. So we're making a thank you for giving me more mitzvah. So what is a woman supposed to say? Thank you for not giving me more mitzvah. We don't make a bra and the way I always heard this from is for being we want to be and that's why you get more when you're than when you're what does that mean the kaducian famously asks who gets morear inhaba for doing a mitzvah Jew or a non-Jew so when And I learned this the first time in 8th grade. I said, "Of course, a non-Jew." Because extra credit, they don't have to do it. And the Garra says, "No, the Jew, cuz it's always greater if you're if you're obligated to do it." Why? Because when you're obligated, you don't want to. It's easy to do something you don't have to. Yeah. Um you find that girls have uh less problems sitting and studying than boys do because boys have a mitzvah to learn and girls don't have that same mitzvah not in the same way. So they don't have the same yates. But as soon as you have to do something, the nature is you don't want to you see this all the time. There are people never eat breakfast. Never. Their mothers have cried bitter tears. Why don't you have something? Have some eggs. Have a Danish. Eat something. They don't eat breakfast. Sometime in the afternoon, they realize they didn't eat anything. So they'll eat something later in the day. But for the most part, they don't. Yeah. So that's fine until it's a fast day. And then at 9:00 in the morning, they're pacing up and down. I didn't eat anything today. I I'm so hungry. Maybe I should lie down. You never eat anything, but I always could. And now when you tell me I can't, I'm starving. This is the concept of what the kazal callali. As long as you have the bread in your basket, you're relaxed. When you don't have it, you have trouble cuz you feel insecure and you don't know what you're going to do and you don't know where it's going to come from. So uh you can find this also well I used to used to teach more teenagers you know so teenager takes a look and sees their room is a mess even by their low standards and they wake up they look around they say I even I can't live like this anymore. I'm going to clean it up. 5 minutes later, their mother comes in the room and says, "This is a pigsty. Clean it up." Now, I don't want to cuz you told me to. The nature of people, right? When you tell us we have to, we psychologically don't want to. That's why if I do it when I'm that makes it greater and we want to be, we don't want to be putter. let me off the hook. And so the Gmorra says, uh, Ravisf, I'm pretty sure, in fact, check this. We'll see if I got it right. Yeah. He's he was blind. So he said when they told me that a blind person well a blind person is part for mitzvah and uh I assumed that if you do it out of your own free will it's greater than if you do it because you have to. I said anyone who would tell me that a blind person is put from mitzvah you know I'd make a celebration. And then when I found out that it's greater, it's greater if you're commanded to do it, I said anyone who could show me that a blind person is in mitzvah obligated, I would make a celebration because uh we're not looking to be part, not looking to get away with it. Yeah. Uh I've spoken about this obviously and that's how um pumm used to be fun. It's turned into something that's beyond description. You see sometimes how uh PM is celebrated. It's it's it doesn't even feel Jewish at times. It's uh it's so incredibly disappointing what you see people do. But um uh I am in a very unique position not only me and that is the entire world celebrates purim on your dalid the 14th of ad except in Jerusalem we celebrated on shush purim on the 15th. So it's very weird. The whole world celebrates on the 14th and the 15th is basically a recovery day. And you know when the whole world is celebrating PM, it's nothing. It's a regular day. And then comes Purim, we're the only ones celebrating. Nobody else is celebrating. It's a unique experience. And and we forget sometimes. who call people up and wish them, you know, you know, a PM s and I don't even know what we're talking about. Pumm was yesterday. So there are people that I know who don't like PUM. They they they don't even stay home for PUM. They just they try to to get away. So someone said to me, I have an ironfall. Yeah. Um, I'll stay in Jallay for the 14th and just before nightfall I'll travel to B she kafer beta. I'll go outside of miss pur altogether. I wasn't outside of yush line for the 14th and I wasn't in your line for the 15th. I could miss it all together. As the cautious newsletter likes to say, not advised. Yeah. We want to be obligated. Um I think it's twice in my life. I think it was twice in my life that I had the opportunity to make the on. It comes once every 28 years. Someone made that both Rebel Yoshv and Shinberg made the braha five times in their life. Pretty amazing. The last time I did it, I was here in Harnov and they had a big public shakras. Everybody together, they davates at sunrise and they made the braha right away. And I know people who overslept and messed it [laughter] was making the bra once in 28 years put no new no I don't have to and and on some level people think ah I'd rather not feel any obligations I'd rather not do anything but that's that's the antithesis of a Jew We were the all of heaven. Like a wild animal, like a an animal, you put a yoke on it and teach it how to carry a burden. That's what we're in this world to be. And when you tell a kid, yeah, do what you want. You don't have to brush your teeth. You could stay up all night. Don't go to school if you don't want to. You have to do your homework. Yeah. Eat all the candy you want. That's a form of child abuse. It's called neglect. It's not because I care about the kid. It's because I don't care about the kid. Because if you care about the kid, then you'll do something. You'll you'll put yourself forward. Um when I was learning I was not a stellar student um because of all my learning disabilities that I didn't know about at the time. I didn't know my dyslexia, my ADD and my focusing problems and retention problems. I just knew that I couldn't learn. And everyone told me it's because you don't care and you don't try and Okay. So at one point Shia Cohen went out to Los Angeles. He took over the high school there. At the time it was called Amech High School. Now it's called Valley Torah Center. And he made a base maj and he basically collected all of the flatsom and jetsim of uh give me your poor your your disadvantage or you know everybody who just wasn't making it. You bring it out to LA. hoping that you know the sunshine is the best disinfectant help to bring us together. Okay, so we're a bunch of us single bakim out there and we learned a little bit and we helped out in in the yeshiva a little bit and we hung out with the guys a little bit, you know, and the friends of the friendless. [laughter] we were, you know, the the island of misfit toys or something like that, whatever [laughter] it was called. And um and Rashaya would make a shallis um and say and it was a big and and I and I have to say I heard once from David Cohen. He says hutna was too big for any one person to capture. So every one of us took a part of him. He said so David got his tyra and Frightfeld um got his uh got his nama. Yeah. And everybody took something. He says I took his sense of humor. [laughter] So um I felt the same thing about the the rashiva. The rashiva was a brilliant mind and had brilliant Torah and brilliant insights. But he had a gift that he had in a shama that was so filled with love that it was just bursting. He could make anybody feel like a million bucks. He did it to me many times. And I said to somebody who got that I said that that was an element that was very hard. And it was a friend of mine who'd been Yeshiva as long as I had. And he said, "The Shia Cohen." And I said, "Yep, you're right. [laughter] He's got he's got that love that that uh that the Rash had." Anyway, so he would give the shall and we were all sleeping in. It was Shabas afternoon, you know, and he would go from apartment to apartment knocking on the doors and we'd be like, "Rebby, I'm tired, you know, I'm not feeling well, etc." And he would not physically drag us out, but he would cast his net of love upon us and drag us out. [laughter] And we'd come to the shallis and we'd sing and he'd say is, you know, and this went on for many weeks. And one week apparently he must have been tired because there was a little a little kink in the armor, you know. And uh he's dragging us out and we're making our excuses. And he says, you know, this is not a grace of cover for me. [laughter] You think I'm doing this for my covet? He was a very soughtafter speaker. He he is today of course, but even back then he's a very person. He says, "Do you really think I need to go around and drag you people out to listen to my schmoo? I'm thinking of you and thought, what?" You know, we all thought we're doing him a favor by showing up and we think we're doing a bar a favor when we do Torah and Mits and we think, "Oh, I did something for my parents." You can never pay back your parents. They gave you life. They give you life itself. The you know reason you're alive and if you haven't killed yourself then you know it's a tremendous appreciation and how many families have I met where the kids decide I'm upset at my parents for this my parents didn't buy me this I just I was speaking to somebody he's a rebby his wife's a ganet you know you didn't buy us apartments you didn't give us this you didn't that they all stopped talking to their parents. Wow. Cuffy to a terrible terrible thing. Anyway, uh this occurred to me over over Shabas and uh you know everyone knows already. I think about what I want to speak about. This just occurred to me and I'm sure that I've talked about in the past in different forms. I remember once Laavd I don't mean to make the comparison but um uh I said to Ry Brown once Mosa Shapiro used to go to Shapiro I said he said this last year it was in Israel so he says no last time he said it from this Bina now he's saying it from that Bina from this perspective and then he looked at me and he says an artist has only so many colors but he can paint endless pictures. I thought that was a brilliant insight. So, yeah, I may say a lot of the same things, but I hope that they're uh that they are in a slightly different insight. And what can I tell you? You know, there's a story and I didn't verify it because I'm not pron that he gave the same schmoo three weeks in a row and finally they thought, okay, maybe he's losing it, you know. And they said, Rebie, you said this for three weeks. And he said in Mus we say you have to hear it again. That's that's the goal. The goal is to hear it not just not just to say oh yeah I heard that. Okay put it on the shelf. Like the visil sharm says the power from this safer doesn't come from reading. It comes from using it as a tool to change ourselves. Okay. Now we come to the appreciation comments. Ka why I don't know dear Rabbi I am not a fan of shirum or speeches me either that's why I said I don't want any because wait to the schllo when I'm not there I'll either be comfortably esisconing [laughter] out hey welcome In my world, I needed to go back a few minutes to remember what the speaker was talking about. And that's with hyperfocusing and not doing any activities such as brushing my teeth while listening. With your podcast, I could be solving world problems and still hearing and internalizing what you're saying. I don't know if that's because I'm such a great speaker or just because my messages are so simple. [laughter] I used to write a column of the Hamodia on the parisha and so did Reverson Hela and more than once I met people who said I'm so glad you write for the Hamodia. I try to read Reverend Hela I can't figure out what she's talking about. It's so deep it's cabalistic and then I read your article a child could understand it. [laughter] Your podcast is perfect for ADHD wired brains. Well that's me. There is just one critique in your episode with Ravgav. He was telling a story that he never actually finished and it wouldn't really bother him because I have wouldn't even have noticed if he hadn't straight out mentioned that he never got to finish it. You should know I've invited him back and so far he hasn't come. So, uh, that's on Rav. Now, Curiosity has been tearing me apart ever since. When I was a kid, they used to tell a joke. You know how you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow. >> [laughter] >> Please share the end of the story if you can remember what the story was about. I don't I don't remember anything. Now, for some nostalgia, when I was about 10 years old, my car poolool driver used to listen to you in the car on the way to school. You know, it's amazing where I pop up. Yeah. I was too little to appreciate the content, but my friend and I would start cracking up every time you laughed at yourself, which is quite often. I get that from my mom. My mom would laugh and everybody would laugh. You made morning carpool exciting, much more interesting than listening to the radio. As always, thank you for providing such meaningful content. Oh, and one more criticism. Please put out episodes more often, especially during the sphere when I won't be able to listen to music. Okay, thank you. Uh, next. I have a job that I'm not super happy with and I've been looking for another one for a while. After hearing Rabbi Olowski's question and answer about making a nephesh, I decided to do that with something I've been working on for a while. Within a week, I found the job I was looking for. Wow. Yasi Freriedman, thank you for mentioning my comment. Can we please have recordings of your Pesak program? Well, I couldn't record all of them because uh a lot of them are on Shabas and Yontiff, but I look forward to hearing only only you from isba sincerely a real crazy. You should know that um um a guy told me that I don't know about today, but years ago during Spir they used to play my uh tapes when you were on hold. So he says a guy he said guy called up and they answered the phone and says can you put me at back on hold I want to hear the end of the of the share that he was giving [laughter] uh here's a concept thank you for such a great show dearski hi a 16-year-old bas yakov of Baltimore student and I've been listening to you for about six months my father has been stuck in Israel for two months and when I found out about your pesak program I begged to gate crash the nokiner cuz I couldn't go. It was very hard not having him around Pesak. I hope uh we are doing the Pesak program again next year. We have to find a bigger venue because we were sold out by Tubishvat and we had a 30 to 40 room waiting list. It was very hard not having him around during Pesak. Yoshiorim Whoops. Shows kept me going when I felt very very lonely. I don't have any friends and my family isn't so close to me. If you allow me to be completely honest, I feel as though you are kind of like my Zadi. I found comfort in your general love for Clayfeld. I wanted to share a thought I had in almost every podcast. You mentioned how you've quote probably said this story before at a time when someone said, "Yeah, yeah, I've heard this one, but here's the thing. I think Hashem benched you. He made it so that every experience and every story you've ever heard can be tied into Torah and mitzvah, no matter how far-fetched. That happens to be true. I remember at my son's bar mitzvah, I was giving an optional share at some point, right? Fendel was there and we were having a conversation about something and then I was giving the share and I quoted the conversation, something that he said. I tied it into the shear and he goes, "Now I see how you speak. you just, you know, listen in on people's conversations and repeat them. I said, "Absolutely. Everything that I hear is there." Um, and to me it's incredible. The stories mash and analogies are timeless and indispensable. Thank you for everything you do, Esther. Thank you, Esther. And next time I come to Baltimore, let's uh love to meet you and uh and uh make it even more real. And that's it for now. If you want to find out more about my show, you can go to my website, raviolasi.com. You can sponsor an episode, please. We're running out of sponsors. You can sponsor a question and [music] answer sponsor a para in five. You can uh leave a comment. You can sign up for one of our online shirum. People are still signing up. It's so nice. Yeah. You could um go to our merch store as I mentioned. And that's it for this episode. Until next time, I am David Olowski and this has been the Rabbi Olowski Show. >> It's [music] the Rabbi Orvski Show. Torah and Sima, ready to go. The Rabbi Olowski show. Knowledge and wisdom will help you grow. Lots of fun in every episode. And we don't have to rhyme, no wheel. [music] It's the Rabbi Orlavski show on rabbi orki.com. Torah [music] anytime you and more. It's the Rabbi Olavski show. Torah and ready to go. It's the Rabbi orski show. Till next time till [music] we meet again. The Rabbi orski show. It's the Rabbi Olowski show. It's the Rabbi Orlowski show.