Part 90: Tasting the Fruit of our Labor

good morning in to all I want to thank our sponsors this morning to Orland in memory of their beloved daughter and R in memory of her beloved parents Sigman and Irene schaer in commemoration of their Ur sites all their Nas should have an Aliyah okay we're continuing in piece we began in RI the second the second volume of alore the sixth chapter we started last week talking about the balance or the inter relationship between and on the one hand the notion of human initiative and effort the effort that we take and on the other hand the fact that we put our faith and trust in hem that everything is indeed from him just yesterday talked about if you stub your toe down here it's because it was ordained from above that nothing is by coincidence nothing is by chance that everything is a result of our relationship with Hashem you reach into your pocket for a nickel and you pulled out a quarter if everything everything that happens is by Design there's no coincidence there is no chance so on the one hand we are to live with that intense and extreme mindfulness that sense of faith that nothing is random or chance it's all ordained from above if it's all ordained from above Why Try why bother why do why take initiative how do we how do we relate what is the balance between the two last week we spoke about yose who twice asked the sarkim please remember me when you meet parro and because he asked twice was punished to sit two extra years in prison and the inside of that had he asked once he wouldn't have sat one extra year he would have sat no extra years once he had to ask you have to take initiative we have to do our part on the other hand you can't take too much initiative you got to take just the right amount so that's where we're up to the second paragraph here in R Al per says the Jewish people we are rooted in godliness we live with that sense of Divine Providence we live the sense that hem is with us every step of the way every red light we hit every delay every interaction every moment every cold every cough every sniffle every everything that whatever happens every step we take in our lives is a communication with Hashem he's communicating with us if that's the case say that inspires an incredibly overwhelming question everything is from so why bother if hm is determined on R how much money I'm going to make this year so why am I staying extra at work why am I trying harder at work why am I striving at work why am I going to work has determined how much I'm going to make so why am I reading up about the stock market mutual funds and and uh you know is it about to be a depression are we about to have a downturn is it just a correction should I liquidate all my all my Holdings should I invest more what am I reading all this stuff for just you know put a newspaper on the wall throw a bunch of darts and is the one to determined whether I'm going to make money or not so why am I trying why am I exercising and eating right there are obese people who live to 105 and there are Marathon Runners who drop dead at 40 so what am I doing it for if we believe that it's all if we live with life with the sense that every step I take Hashem is guiding me he's holding me he's there he is the one who's the the Puppeteer pulling the string so what am I trying for Why Try why try hard we want to find the path we want to find a a opening to this question so if we want to understand this issue then we've got to go back to the roote and the root is a gar in Kad thear in Kad says the following so he has this incredible Insight I never saw an animal who had to work for a living I never saw a fox who was a storekeeper who owned a store I never saw an AR I never saw them hunting or trapping a tailor a blacksmith I never saw a cat or a dog who who hung a shingle to say this is what I do for a living I'm a psychologist I'm a doctor I'm a lawyer and nevertheless he miss p and they're not working for a living and they're able to access livelihood nourishment sustenance without any effort they rum through the garbage or they eat the grass in the backyard or they nibble on the vegetation and they've got everything and they're existence is only to serve me I'm here to serve you God they're all here to serve me that is the Jewish you by the way I apologize to the pet owners we're not here to serve the pets the pets are here to serve us won't give my editorial comment right now but that is um the animals are here to serve us the dinner they're the material of the couch we sit on they're the no I'm just joking PNY dogs are wonderful they serve us they cuddle they snuggle they give companionship and love I I hear all that stuff okay fine so they're here to serve us so the animals here to serve me I'm here to serve you why does the animal get the free ride the animals got the ATM unlimited ATM debit card I don't understand I have to work my tail off to earn a living if I want to pay tuition and I want to afford kosher food and I want to be able to make Yanti and I want to be able to make the pre-made candles for the you know uh manora I was in Israel over shabas a Friday I took my daughters in Israel for the year shopping or Thursday to get her set there they have you know 400 options of sets there and every store sells and it's all a fraction of the cost of what we pay it's another motivation why we should all move to Israel make it's a fraction of the markup of what of what we pay here so I to to be able to buy the a lot of things are including including San so if I want to be able to light those pre-made candles I've got to work my tail off to earn a living to earn an income and the and the animal whose whole job it is is to serve me the animal gets the Free Ride I don't get it those who are here to serve me are able to sustain themselves with no effort with no initiative with no suffering but I here to serve you this is what's called AAL aori in Latin which we all know thanks to the SAR back before art girl so what is the If This Then certainly that if the lonely animal who has no intrinsic value or purpose but who's only there to serve me nevertheless has to make no effort so I who I'm here to serve you it's there to serve me it makes no effort so me I shouldn't have to work hard the answer is we have to I I trampled I I lost I forfeited I have to work hard because I lost the chance to not have to work hard I like the animal was designed and designated and the world was created that I wouldn't have to work hard but I messed it up where did we mess it up because when adish was living in ganen the way Hashem set up the world to begin with in the Garden of Eden everything grew in the trees everything was set Adam did not have to he had to DAV for it that was his aod he had to work harder than anyone what's the hardest work is daving it's the it's called work for a reason takes aod to really get meaning out of daving to not just fly through the words or check off that we made it through the sitter but to be transformed to be connected to have a with for daving to really be what it's meant to be it's an a it's an aod takes work it's work so's only job his only work he had to exert was D to everything else happened automatically the cash just came out of the ATM the schorg unlimited all you could eat schorg was always always on display this is a very kind crowd had had everything prepared for him so what happened what went wrong messed it all up the parent sets up the kid and says you have a trust fund you're set for life I just want you to be able to sit and learn and study and grow or spend time with me I want you to connect with me one thing I ask you to do that doesn't violate me and then I I don't want you to ever have to work I want you to have everything and just be able to be free to enjoy time with me that's all I want you to do is invest in a relationship with me time with me moments with me memories with me there's just one thing don't do and then the kid goes and does that one thing so the parent says guess what then you're off the payroll you're on your own now you've got to go in your own living because I wanted you to spend time with me one thing I asked you to do you had the whole world at your at your fingertips one thing I asked you to do so that was with with us and what happens we won't say who we blame women but it all went all right yeah but we're g to bring so it all it all went wrong and what was the conclusion she got hers and the snake got his and we got ours we collectively got hours which is now it takes work the sweat of your brow doesn't bring a curse K doesn't Institute a punishment that is not somehow rehabilitative the purpose of the punishment unlike us where sometimes our punishments are random they're punitive if you throw someone in jail it doesn't necessarily make them better if you take away your children's devices or ground them or give them time out it doesn't necessarily address mid what they did wrong it's not a learning or teaching moment but whenever he addresses us he does so in a way that gives us a glimpse or a window if we're self-reflective into what we did wrong and how we can learn from it how we can improve and grow as a result of it so there's no the CLA the curse or the punishment has within it the means to do the repair to grow to learn from it after the terrible mistake of of the good and evil were intertwined were mixed together in the world our mission is to live life and to do B to separate the good from the bad to winnow and to sift who wrote I want to grow wheat from the ground but you know what grows with the wheat thorns thistles and there are um bugs and there are eoli on my lettuce and and so what's my mission until then I didn't have to pay attention to separate anything I had an all can eat schorg and there was MH who oversaw the kasas and the health department who oversaw the health and I had one job to fill my plate and shovel it in my mouth and that was my one job but after the says you know what your curse is now you're going to have to be more mindful now you're going to have to to be more Discerning now you're going to have to sift through and separate out good from bad right from wrong healthy from unhealthy positive from negative so you're going to try to grow this thing from the ground but you're going to have to separate it out you're going have to pluck the edible from the inedible you're going to have to peel the shell from the fruit that's contained therein you're going to have to separate the chaff from the kernel you're going to have to avoid the thorn and the thistle instead of it being fully prepared as of when bread Grew From the ground now you've got to plow and plant and harvest and thresh and winnow and sift and grind and and knad and bake I think we covered the whole process so the the consequence that we suffered includes symbolically what we needed to learn right the consequence that was put on us namely that we have to now work well the work includes decision makings so before we suffered this consequence we went through life Carefree we walk through life just living life you don't have to decide you don't have to be mindful you just do the one thing you have to avoid is the but if you've avoided the one the rest of the garden is all yours don't worry about health don't worry about Casas don't worry about thorns and thistles it's all yours and it's ready made it's fully prepared what happened the consequence we suffered was now you have to live a mindful life where you're constantly recalibrating constantly deciding constantly interpreting constantly filtering and constantly evaluating good from bad right from wrong healthy from unhealthy even when you want to purify gold purify silver when you want to purify a metal you are removing from the metal what are you removing the imperfections the I forgot the technical word but you're removing the impurities you're removing the stuff that needs to be removed when you eat your very body is doing that what does your body do when you eat it removes the nutrients and the nourishment and it leaves over that which you don't need in order for you to eliminate our body is a factory to separate out good from bad the very goof the very human body is a factory it's a brilliant Factory it's absolutely incredible the design of the factory it's a brilliant Factory which when the factory goes wrong we appreciate what it means for the factory to operate in all cylinders if you're of ashkanazi descent you're pretty much guaranteed your factory is going to go wrong at some point so I could say that so so the fact the human body is designed to separate out and why is it separating out the good to energize us and to nourish us to have the health to be able to do Tor and good things so basically such a brilliant Insight of in the world before the in the world before the mistake in the garden we didn't have to be mindful we didn't have to think we didn't have to separate we just lived we just did we just enjoyed said you what happened when I let you live this Carefree enjoying trust fund life it blew up in my face it messed up instead of you're spending more time with me instead of your growing yourself improving yourself instead of focusing on what matters the one thing the one lousy thing that you were supposed to avoid you couldn't so you know what says take two version 2.0 of Adar marish 2.0 download the upgrade is marish 2.0 is now you have to live a life of mindfulness of consciousness of conscientiousness of discernment now have to live life looking and filtering and deciding and separating just like the body is the factory to decide you what can I eat what's kosher what's not Kosher should I say this not say this can I look at this or not look at this can I listen this can I this should I go here should I not go here what do I do now where do I go everything is a decision so what's in now what does that take the decision-making process takes effort his childless initiative I have to be living life with effort and initiative to be able to make choices to determine my life my future my decisions My Day My Lifestyle beforeand there was no has that's necessary when you have a trust fund and an unlimited oil you can eat buffet and there is no bad and there everything is healthy by definition everything's kosher by definition everything's good for you by definition so you don't have to make any effort you just live life you just enjoy but the moment that now there is good and bad healthy and unhealthy positive and negative now when you have to live life and make choices what does it take what it demands what it requires is effort so man was ordained man generic man Humanity to have to work for our income with that placed us and put us inside a difficult test on the one hand there are few things as gratifying as and fulfilling as being independent as as taking home the the bacon I just saw there was an effort of movement by vegans to change that phrase It's insensitive taking home the bacon I don't know if we Jews could live with the phrase taking home the bacon the vegans could live with it too so is the one who wants to CH uh p is the one who's doing it okay whatever so so taking home the the sufka the lkas bringing home the lkas so on the one hand there are few things as gratifying satisfying fulfilling there are few things that are are as pleasurable as working hard accomplishing and enjoying the the fruit of your labor ver that's literally that's the expression that we have the fruit of your labor you planted and you nurtured and you grew and you plucked and you harvested and now you enjoy the fruit of your labor a person would rather have less of what they earned than more that with someone else ear meaning meaning my if if if I plant a a tree in my backyard and I you know I plant a tomato Vine and I the vine grows and I tie it to a stick and then I I water it and then make sure it has enough sunlight and I pluck off the thorns and I prevent all the pests and I and in the end the Tomato Vine it yielded one lousy little tomato but my neighbors got a you know 10 tomato Vines and an army of landscapers who care for it and uh and there's 10 beautiful tomatoes so he tries to knock on my door and drop off 10 beautiful tomatoes says I have harvested my tomatoes I've got a gazillion Tomatoes here's 10 beautiful beautiful succulent red beautiful tomatoes so what would a person rather their one lousy tomato that they grew or the 10 beautiful luscious plump Tomatoes their neighbor grew so the our rabbis have an Insight that the human psyche would rather the one little tomato they grew that the experience of there a whole separate of desler has an interpretation of this and it's called the that love is the result of giving not getting is what we're trying to teach our twins tonight in our tween night of giving that one night of Kaneka is about giving not getting because when you give you get more than when you get so one night you give away gifts instead of keeping them and you'll find that that's the night that you get the most because giving is getting why is and getting sort of Des his um develops the notion the Jewish definition of AA the Jewish definition of Love Is Love the result of giving or getting so he says let me ask you this who loves whom more do children love parents more do parents love children more so every child who's not yet a parent says children love parents more but once you become a parent you know that parents love children more and he asks why is that if you think about it it should be the opposite in the relationship children do nothing but take take take take take and parents do nothing but give give give give give certainly from when they're a baby and you wake up in the middle of the night and you change the diaper and you make the formula and you nurse the baby but even as they get older small kids little problems big kids big problems you find yourself still giving and giving and giving and giving and giving so here the dynamic in the relationship the Paradigm in the relationship is the parent is giving and giving and giving the child is getting and getting and getting so who should love whom more child should love the parent more all they do is receive and receive and receive they take and take and take and take so what do you see from here says rler you see that love is not it's counterintuitive love is not the result of one you receive love is the result of when you give and that's why parents love children more than children could ever love parents and why is that until sometimes the relationship reverses where the child is giving and giving to the parent who needs their love and support and the child becomes the caretaker caring for the parent then maybe the child can get a taste of loving the parent as much but why is that why is it love is the result of giving not get soer says you know why because when you received it's just selfish it's just ego you just got but when you give what you've done is you've taken a piece of yourself and you've invested it in the other answers a question the Torah in says that the three people exempt from a war are the newly wed one year after they got married someone who's planted a Vineyard and has not yet harvested it someone who's built a home and has not yet moved in say of deatha isn't that insulting to a woman we're likening a woman to a great or to or or to a new house you married and you built a house or you planted a Vineyard you didn't yet get to fully enjoy it all three of you are exempt from more that's what we're likening that's the equation it's insulting it's degrading so of death or not at all because what the Torah is telling us what do the three things have in common we're not equating a marriage I should say the woman it's in both directions we're not equating a marriage to a grape what we're saying is what all three have in common is the notion of investing yourself in something else you worked you gave up time you gave up energy you gave up resources you gave up sweat you gave a piece of yourself to that person or that item or that project there's a piece of you in it and now you love it love is the result of giving why because when you give you're giving a piece of yourself you're investing yourself you're giving your kishkas in something you're investing yourself in something that's why the more that you give or the more that it hurts to be giving the more you'll love as a result so when you change a diaper three in the afternoon it doesn't create as much love as then when you change the diaper at 3 in the morning and when it cost you $10 to make your child happy it doesn't create as much love as when it cost you 10,000 to make them happy the the the measure of the giving is proportional to the measure of the love that it yields so says that giving is getting that when you give you love is the result of giving not of not of getting so why does a person why do you prefer the little pathetic wrinkled tomato over the 10 luscious plump succulent tomato of your neighbor cuz your neighbors they were just given to you they were free there was nothing but that little tomato is not a tomato you know what the little tomato is it's every Sunday that you tied up the vine and you watered the plant and you nurtured and you cared for it the tomato is not a tomato the tomato is a piece of you and you love that piece piece of you so that's why a person feels that way so what is the result of hisas with the effort comes satisfaction the satisfaction of the work we put in the fruit of our labor the effort and the result the work the effort the initiative sweetens the result but there's a downside toas so the upside toas is that there is tremendous satisfaction fulfillment Joy there's a big downside you know what the downside is you look at the tomato and you say you know why there's this tomato today because I planted a tomato and I watered the tomato and I nurtured the vine and I I made this tomato and who do you forget and who do you forget who created the water and who created the sunlight and who created the Tomato Seed and who created the vine and who determined that you'd even get that one little pathetic tomato so his gives great satisfaction and sweetness but the bitterness the bitter side of hisas of effort is the risk of the fact that you neglect you forget the other partner the senior partner in the deal you didn't grow a tomato it was a partnership and you were the junior partner the senior partner who created the seed the vine the Sun the air the Sun the the the the rain the water don't knock him out of the equation so on the one never tasted the satisfaction of working he never had that satisfaction of earning of effort of initiative of working he never had that sweetness of his little tomato that he gave up all those Sundays to grow but he also never ever ever for one moment thought that he was the one who made ganaden he knew and lived in every moment with a mindfulness that it's all the graciousness the generosity of Hashem after the when Adam fell from that high it's continuing to require a great avod and it's a test that renews itself over and over again to get back to that level in other words we thought that the punishment was that now you have to doless the punishment is also that it takes effort not just to earn an income takes effort to remember this Hashem in G there was no effort to either earn an income nor was there an effort to be conscious constantly that there's a Hashem now the the status of after being expelled from ganeden there's both an effort to earn the income and there's an effort to remember that the success is from hasem so so we live with these two things coupled together on the one hand we live with the need to do the effort on the other hand we leave live with or parallel with it it is accompanied by the need to remember that though we are now putting in an effort and here to for we didn't have to the result of the effort is not entirely up to us you so this is the notion the effort of separating the good from the bad we failed when we were given the gift the privilege the luxury of not having to separate the giden existence we failed and as a result the consequence is we now live in a world where we have to separate out where we have to remain mindful where we have to be ever aware but that doesn't mean that we just get to enjoy the satisfaction and the sweetness of the fruit of our labor because that comes with the risk of forgetting hasem now we have to remember him too okay so I want to share Kana thought so we'll we'll pause here until next time but R is setting up his answer to the question so his question was we live with an incredible amount of we are supposed to live with an absolute knowledge mindfulness Consciousness that Hashem determines everything in our life if we stubbed our toe below it was ordained from above so if that's the case why are we working why are we trying what are we doing so he's established that we didn't always have to work work was a punishment but a punishment is always a teachable moment it's not just a punitive measure for no reason it it includes within it something that we're supposed to learn what is it that we learned from the punishment of the effort the work it took is that within the effort and theas we learned how to remember that there is a Hashem so you could see already a hint to where he's going to go which is that it's not a contradiction to have to make an effort and to believe it's from Hashem within the effort is the reminder that it's from has if you're living the effort properly if you're experiencing the consequence appropriately then the consequence is an exercise in growing it's an exercise in but more on that when we continue next time just a quicka thought since we are in the midst of Kana this is in the SA or of fantastic saer thein we say what happens if he forgot to say Al in benching before after before we say Allah Bening what if you forgot what if you forgot so you don't have to repeat benching but you later in the section of the benching we make a miracle for me like you did in those days and he asked the question quotes many of the post the and the yes yank and others asked the question since when are we allowed to pray for a miracle I thought that we don't pray for miracles we live in a natural world in a natural order we ask to intervene within nature but we don't rely on nor do we pray for miracles what's an example tells us after 40 days of pregnancy you're not allowed to DAV for it to be a boy or a girl why because once the gender has been set of the baby you can't pray for a miracle there is actually a Yami who says you can but that was before sonograms so long as there's no thei says that's the B that says you can't DOI says as long as the gender is not yet known by you or anyone it's not a miracle it's not a miracle which could be Aus in how you define a miracle is a miracle intervening in nature or a miracle is intervening in a way that the human being can know could beus and the definition of a miracle everybody agrees you don't rely on a miracle you can't pray for a miracle question is what's a miracle trust me I looked into this Su very carefully for many years so so the says why can't you D after 40 days because the gender's been set so you're not going to dve in for a miracle so so since when do we dve in for miracles such that all of a sudden even we sing you say it's an implicit prayer make miracles for us make Miracles I was with somebody recently who who's uh struggling from a very significant serious illness and I said this is the season of Miracles he made Miracles then he's going to do it now but even as I was saying those words we don't rely on Miracles we pray we do we take initiative then oh but what does it mean to DAV for a miracle we don't rely on Miracles nor do we pray for miracles so what are we doing here so the sh CH says the following he says on KH the Jewish people merited for a miracle but the miracle didn't appear as a miracle the miracle seemed to come through the natural order which Miracle is he talking about there are two miracles of khaka there's the miracle of the flask of oil that lasted longer than it was supposed to and there was the miracle of the military Victory so the mil the miracle of the military victory was no less miraculous but it could be explained naturally the miracle of the Kash was no less miraculous than the Six Day War it's no less miraculous than the modern state of Israel so yet even though there was a great return to Faith a big b surge of balich Chua after The Six Day War surge of alah surge of balich Chua but it's worn out so why don't we turn to every person who's unaffiliated or atheist doesn't believe her off the DK and say study The Six Day War study The Six Day War you're looking for a miracle you want to see hashem's hand there it is it's undeniable and now everyone will return to their faith why don't they because you could explain it away naturally if you want to even though we were equally you know the Six Day War so if you want to explain it naturally you still can there's a miscommunication between the Egyptians and the jordanians and that gave us Superior error you can explain it naturally if you want so this miracle of the military victory of the his language the of is it was a miracle cloaked in the natural ways of the world so what we're asking for the kind of miracle that we're asking for is make a miracle that doesn't even seem miraculous so you're not allowed to D for a miracle which is a blatant exposed Miracle an explicit Miracle but you can D for a miracle that looks like it's working through the natural order a miracle through the natural order so and there are there are examples somebody's going through an illness and they're trying some new experimental treatment so on the one hand scientifically medically statistically it's a miracle it's a miracle why should that thing work but on the other hand if it worked could you explain it naturally yes so that kind of Miracle you're allowed to D for that kind of Miracle you're allowed to D for so that's the answer of the sh Chua very interesting answer that that kind of Miracle you're allowed to D for but the na has a say and he explains in his differently he says the notion of being allowed to D for a miracle you're not allowed to most of the Year 51 weeks a year you can't D for a miracle but there are eight days that you can't D for a miracle and that is the holiday of khaka cuz khaka is for eight days we live for 51 weeks a year we are defined by Nature by science by the number seven but for one week a year we sing in now we don't just say because that rhymes it really should not say whenever I do this I ask people translate they say eight days but that's not what means eight days is what is it means days that are brought to you by the number eight like Sesame Street May these are days these are days brought to you by the number eight what do you mean brought to you by the number eight so we know seven represents the days of creation the days of the week seven is the scientific natural order the natural world eight is it's one above nature it's the supernatural world it's so these are 51 days 51 weeks a year we live in the natural order the natural world we wait and we rely and we explain things scientifically but one week a year we remember that even the natural order is Supernatural that everything is Supernatural this can answer the B's question P's question is why do we light for eight days the miracle was only seven days they found enough oil to last one day it lasted seven more days so the miracle is seven days so light for seven days why do we keep for eight days the famous question so say for n laa 100 answers to the B's question of course there were 100 that was written many years ago today it's a thousand answers to the B's question so one of the answers to B this question is true it wasn't supposed to last eight days so seven days are a miracle but you know what even the first day when it was supposed to light that's also a miracle that who says that when you light oil it should light right who says who determined oh cuz that's nature that's science well who who's behind Nature and Science who said nature should work even that first day is also a miracle so these y these are days that we look around and we see the Miracles we see the supernatural within the natural the extraordinary within the ordinary and it renews our faith and we affirm our faith that we believe in miracles that we believe in miracles as shweky sang last night fantastic concert I believe in miracles I think one of the most emotional moments I have but you can watch it still on YouTube is on the 50th anniversary of the sixth day war the 50th anniversary of getting back to kotel in harab there was a shweky concert over the kotel and there he sang that song I Believe In Miracles and all the singing and dancing you should watch this video it's absolutely it's absolutely incredible so we believe in miracles and says the the he says it's not just that we believe in miracles as long as they don't look like Miracles these eight days you're allowed to dve in 51 weeks a year you can't D in for miracles we don't rely on Miracles we don't D in for miracles we're not about miracles but these these eight days are different these eight days remind us we don't live in the natural order Jewish people the brises on the eth day we believe in the eth the number eight we're brought to you by the number eight that's our number we're not we're not bound by the number seven we're brought to you by the number eight so this is our week don't let It Go Don't Let It Go DAV for miracles there are people who need Miracles they need Miracles that are embedded in nature the people who need outright Mir Miracles that can't ever be explained even in nature this is our week because next week we go back to not being allowed to dve for miracles next week we go back to not being allowed to rely on Miracles but for this week we are allowed to D for miracles so identify look at the people CLA Isel communities people individuals they need Miracles they need Miracles and we in that that will bring those miracles in our time as well