Part 80: Does Your Soul Have an Appetite Like Your Body Does?

okay good morning good morning our this morning isas what was the name Le Al we're going to continue what we began last week which is and it is specific to the month of el but it's also General to our relationship with hem and our sense of amuna more broadly so relevant to us throughout the entire year he was dealing with this PK that we recite when we take the to very hard to translate I am my prayer what does that even mean what does it even mean some explained different but was saying my whole life is a prayer as I walk through life I'm ding I'm ding while I drive my car I'm ding while I'm beging the I'm D when going to work I'm driving driving carpo my whole life is a prayer all of my life is directed to was a prayer to you butb here had a different interpretation in the context of he spoke about the notion of submitting ourselves to Hashem of being Mel ourselves of trying to make our will conform to hashem's will I'm not living life for my happiness I'm living life for Holiness I'm living life to Aspire to fulfill the will of Hashem in any given moment I'm not asking what do I want what would make me happy what would give me pleasure but in any given moment I'm saying saying what does God want from me right now what will give God and he spoke about this notion of my an my whole sense of self my ego who I am Li it's directed to Hashem now you understand why I had marriage and engagement on the mind but last week I spoke about the fact that right the the kala walks around the seven times puts him at the center of her Circle he reciprocates and puts a ring on her finger puts her at the center of his Circle marriage relationships are about putting the other at the center of your circle An Li Hashem my circle Li you're at the center of my circle all that I'm doing if I'm eating or sleeping or or relaxing it's because I'm re-energizing to serve you every decision I make every place I go every expenditure every Everything Hashem who I am my whole Essence my identity my ego my is and that's how the explained this regarding my as regarding my sense my sense of self regarding my identity regarding Who I Am My Prayer regarding my an is that I can successfully direct it to you that as I live life I feel your presence in my life and I measure my life by wanting to make you happy you know there are people we all know that we we have a continued the human psyche is design that we get amazing pleasure by giving Nas to the people that we love the people who who we feel indebted to right so most notably our parents we know that no matter what age we still get great Nas when we give our parents we still get great pleasure when we give our parents so there people who live life constantly saying what what would give my parents Nas is this the right thing my parents getting so the ultimate parent am forem to ask it with everything that we do is this the right thing to do the right place to go the right thing to say and so on and so forth okay so that's what we did last week until last week was this notion of being to make our will conform not to ask hashem's Will to conform to our will Hashem I really want to go there eat that do this watch this so I'm going to make your will conform to mine but no I say what does God want and I'm going to make my will conformed to his what will give him so we're on the left hand column everyone say where we are P the left hand column what does it mean in an an auspicious time but really in a time of need Hashem when I'm in a time of need I'm not looking for you to drop what you're doing and again submit yourself to me I in that time of need say Hashem I forfeit myself I concede myself I submit myself to you life is not about me or my ego it's not about how big my name can get how many likes I can get how many follows I can get how viral I can go right that's the world that we live in where happiness is measured by how prominent you are that's why we also see such a world of anxiety and depression and unhappiness and all the challenges that go with it particularly among celebrities and athletes because you know what happens you go viral and you get Fame and you get fortune and you're still not happy because you realize the truth is that's not what brings happiness that's not what brings happiness so happiness is not about how viral I can go how big my name can get Happiness is when you're willing to be so humble and so modest that you say Hashem I submit myself to you I'm here for a higher purpose I'm here for a mission there's nothing more satisfying and gratifying than being on a mission and completing that mission if you've ever volunteered if you've ever taken on a project if you've ever LED an effort and it meets success you've made progress you feel phenomenal it's better than any food you could eat any drug you could take any alcohol you could drink it gives you a greater High to feel a sense of mission a sense of purpose to have set goals to achieve them to make a difference to matter is much greater much more gratifying than anything else soem in my in my time of need I don't make it about me but I make it about I give myself over entirely to you I'm here for you where do you want me next what's my next assignment what's my next mission what do you need from me right now is there a greater Ace ratone than el el is the Ace ratone El is the time in which we are evaluating Our Lives reflecting on our lives I just spoke about in the 10 minutes of the notion of the importance of self-reflection because we live in a world that doesn't want us it's not that it doesn't want us it doesn't allow us to pause and reflect we're moving in hypers speed hypers speed hypers speed noise noise noise we're connected connected connected we collapse and fall asleep we wake up we start all over again and we're just moving we're moving on this moving sidewalk of Life which seems like it's speeding up and it's moving so fast and we're so connected that there's no no room to reflect and if there's no room to reflect how can you introspect I started a challenge with a group of guys and we have a whole spreadsheet to to evaluate ourselves three minutes a day where you put your phone on airplane mode set a timer and sit there and do nothing now when we first started it we said we're going to challenge each other we said let's do 10 minutes a day hisus we're going to do hodus to just sit and think for 10 minutes a day and 10 minutes do you know how long 10 minutes is it's an hour 10 minutes feels like forever three minutes three minutes is a long time and it's nothing it's 3 minutes your phone to sit there phone goes off you turn it on airplane mode you doing something else no no you sit there and you just breathe you breathe and what you do at that time no so and what you do at that time everyone can decide for themselves if you want so some people like to meditate with an agenda I want to think of three things I'm grateful for I want to think about my day I want to think about some dka real pure meditation is supposed to be where you get to a point where you're thinking about nothing your brain is emptied you're thinking about nothing others meditate on hashem's name fill that however you want but do you understand that not only for your soul but for your body how healthy that is that three minutes breathing just doing deep breathing and you're disconnecting and you're reflecting you're going to a place of self-reflection it's unbelievably healthy and you feel re-energized and reinvigorated for the rest of your day but you wouldn't believe right I'm one of the people who agreed to take on this challenge you know how many days passed and you didn't do it do you know what 3 minutes is in a 24hour day it's garnished it's nothing it is nothing and yet that's just evidence of how much noise and how fast-paced life is that we think I don't have 3 minutes now it turns out that we wasted not 3 minutes but 30 minutes on that nishite and an hour on the other narish kite and two hours on the other narish kite and we claim we don't have the 3 minutes we all have the 3 minutes we all have 30 minutes but it's the mindfulness and it's the commitment to find that three minutes the tenacity to do it every single day it's the L challenge I give to you for the rest of LOL make a on your calendar find the time of the day that you can do it let an alarm come up put your phone on airplane mode set the timer on 3 minutes so it counts down and then buzzes don't even look at it sit with your eyes closed breathe deeply and think about about whatever you want but be in a reflective mode and I promise you the first time you do it first of all the 3 minutes will feel like forever but I promise you by the time by a week into doing it the three minutes won't feel long enough you say you know what I was just getting to a great place my point is that how can you grow without reflection how can you grow if you never stop and say where am I where was I where do I want to go and how do I get there what are the things that knocked me off course and one of the things that helped me Usher me to where I want to go so says the there's no greater than we're facing the soon we're going to stand before hm and he's going to say you know you've just coronated me to be the king for another year and I'm evaluating my kingdom is there a place for you should I renew your contract do you belong and you know if we want to succeed then we need to make the case for why we matter and why we're Mission driven and why we're committed to the cause and why we're faithful soldiers and why we're in it for him not for ourselves if you're a member of the king the president's cabinet and it's all about your Fame your glory and yourself and you don't submit to his agenda to the administration's agenda you're going to be out you're out because the administration can't afford the king can't afford somebody's in the pursuit of their own agenda so says you've just coronated me king I want to know are you going to advance my agenda or your own and so this is the time that we're making that case to the Reon we're preparing our case a great case the legal team sits preparing it for a month we have a month of we're preparing our case it's an and what is the case the case in the is that my life is for you you could you better believe it when I'm up for renewal for my contract you better believe I'm going to prove to you that I want to advance your agenda that's not about my agenda it's not about my name my glory I'm in it for you Hashem my entire my my whole existence is for you it's not just that when you said these these things are off the table these are user these are prohibited so if you said not to do them I'm not going to do them it's not just that I'm going to avoid and not do the things that you said I can't do it's much more Global it's much more broad than that it's not just the dos and the don'ts you could be in the administration you could be in the family you could be in the marriage and you say look on the dos and don'ts I got it right on the checklist I can check them all off correctly that's nice but where are you in the relationship do you believe in the mission do you believe in what we're trying to do here and in work sometimes you have that conversation with an employee you say look yeah yeah you know you clocked in the right hours and and you you handed in your tasks but do you believe in what we're trying to do here are you part of this Mission or not and that's what Hashem says do you believe in what I'm trying to do here and what Hashem is trying to do here is not for himself what Hashem is trying to do here is for us is to perfect his world is try to make it a better world so this is a very very high level of living I'm not suggesting that this is easy because we live in a world the Western World Markets to us all the time that's not about anyone except you your pleasure your happiness your appetite what you want obey your thirst just do it all of marketing all of advertising is about what brings you pleasure what makes you happy don't worry about the world what do you want what makes you happy and here we come from religion that says your happiness who says life is about your happiness it happens to be that if you advance hashem's agenda you will feel happier than anything else can provide exactly because it's not it's not coincidental that the whole population that's pursuing their own happiness is failing to find it and having to numb themselves to that fact and the people who are not advancing or trying to search for their own happiness but they're looking to provide it for others in the end find their own happiness so it's very very high this is very high level to live at this level in our world to with the world that says it's all about you to say it's not about me at all this you know I'm not the brand Hashem is the brand Torah is the brand perfecting the world improving the world bringing more light into the world that's the campaign that's the mission that's the brand but to feel hashem's presence that you know some of you your parents are still alive those who they're not but either way is there anything more joyful than when a parent said you know you're giving me such yeah you know I I heard you did this or I heard you say that or I know you and I have suchas from you is there is there so even if your parents are not here anymore you know what brings themas because you knew throughout your life when they said that to you and so we should live life with the feeling that Hashem is on my shoulder Hashem is with me he's standing right next to me and when I've done his mission when I've Advanced his agenda oh he's getting such he's giving me a hug and he says I'm so proud of you my Kinder I'm so proud of you wow you're great we can approach the physical world in one of two ways we're either indulging in that physical world as animals the animal component in Us in which case we've lowered ourselves or we are embracing the physical world in order to transform it we are imbuing it with Holiness because it is fueling our pursuit of our mission if we're using it as the fuel that pursues our mission for God it is transformed into something which is holy and if we're indulging in it because it's an ends into itself then we've lowered ourselves we're no different than an animal this very different big difference between I started learning Tanya again recently and this is a very big difference between the way many of the B mus understand the animal soul that the animal instinct or the attitude towards go we have to obliterate it we have to remove it we have to purge it from our desires and from our experiences but the Tanya says no the B this lowest level soul and the and the experience of contact with the physical world is not an a desire an ambition that should be um removed or purged but it needs to be embraced and then transformed and that the the we live in the physical universe and that the physical Universe has a place and has a role as well if the goal is to cling to God to feel connected to God if the goal is to become one with God if the goal is to stick with Hashem stick with Hashem to feel connected to Hashem so you can't yeah I have this all the time not all the time live wonderful children other people have this all the time with their children we all know this we got that where the children say I love you I love you I love you and meanwhile they disobey and disobey and disregard and neglect what you want from them and you say to your kid you know don't you say you love me but you can't love me and be close to me and come snuggle with me and cling to me and at the same time when I asked you to clean up your room or turn off your phone or to come back to the table you didn't listen to me you just you can't disregard me and at the same time cling to me and think that that it just doesn't work that way so the same is true with Hashem if we want to be D BM you want to snuggle with hm you want to cling to Hashem you want to stick with Hashem you want to feel his love you want to feel his embrace you want to feel his shelter you want to feel his protection which is why kids come snuggle with their parents ultimately what they're saying is I want to feel you're protecting me I want to feel that you have my back I want to feel I can stick with you and it's all going to be okay and you're going to take care of me and a parent wants to do that doesn't want anything more in the world doesn't want anything more in the world from their child right and when somebody else wants to take their child to live with them for the rest of their lives you confirm with them that they are going to protect your child and take care and secure of your most precious child as much as you would otherwise you'd not given that permission so because that's your most precious thing that's all a parent wants for a child so you say to your child I'll offer that I want to cling to you and I want to give you that shelter and that snuggle and that that feeling that I've got you your back I want you to stick with me but it means you have to care about what I want to you can't ignore me neglect me not care about what I want and then think that when you need my shelter protection support love nurture and snuggle it's going to all be there for you so if we want to be if we want to feel that clinging closeness that Hashem has our back that we're sticking with him that he's involved in every aspect of Our Lives you can't at the same time neglect him ignore him and do only what you want you can't do what you want in that moment and then think when you need him he will be there nobody wants to be treated that way in a relationship you don't want that from your spouse you don't want it from your friend you don't want it from your children nobody in a relationship wants to be treated that way oh you cling to me you connected to me you hang from me you you long for me you you look for support for me when it's convenient for you but when I ask you for certain things or I have certain priorities or I have a certain agenda you could care less you only want to do your own thing you feel used and abused the doesn't want to feel used and abused you want to be if we want to cling to him and we want to feel his presence his guiding hand his warmth his love his support it means caring about what he wants to the mistake says is that they people think that in and it's just about the technical process or journey of chuva okay I've identified 10 things I did wrong last year how 10 Things I identified I identified 10 Things I identifi 10 things I did wrong last year and I I ask for forgiveness I have remorse I'm not going to do them again God are we good we're good God we're good to go no it's not just are we good I'm sorry you know again your kid comes to you now because they want that device back or they want the vacas they're clean to you because they need something and you say look I'm I'm disappointed though because I asked you to do this and you didn't do it fine I'm sorry I'm sorry I should have done that and you real they're only saying they're sorry because they want that thing back they're only feeling sorry because they want to feel close to you again in that moment so do you say are you just saying sorry are we good or you saying you know what looking back I realized that when I did that you felt ignored I'd never want you to feel that way and I'm going to work a lot harder there's a world of difference so who are we when we come before hasemer who are we when we come before Hashem this El are we the kid who says sorry can I have my thing back sorry can I come out of timeout sorry Hashem can I feel close to you again can we snuggle or are we saying no Hashem you know I'm looking back on my year kind of embarrassed I'm ashamed that you cared about these things and I just neglected them and I ignored them because I was just pursuing what I want I was pursuing my own pleasure I'm pretty ashamed I'm embarrassed and I really want to renew and restore this relationship so that's theat they say in we say and then we say return me to you return me to your Torah you who Longs for us to want to return return me and then we say forgive me is that the right order I would have thought it should be the opposite order first you say forgive me I made a bunch of mistakes and now say now that I've asked you for forgiveness I want to feel close to you again I want to feel close to you again so I want so magnific an interpretation that says no is God whether you forgive me or not for the technical I want to be close to you so if you're going to hold me accountable and I've got to take you know you do the crime you got to do the time if you're going to punish me for the mistake I made I'll take the punishment I got it but either way I want to be close to you so it's like a kid comes and says look I hope you'll let me have my phone back but I want you to know whether you give me the phone back or not I really feel bad about the way I spoke to you you deserve better and I want to feel Clos to you and I love you and respect you so whether you give the phone back or not I want you to know that I'm sorry and ashamed for how I behaved and I'm not going to do that again because I just want to be close to you and I want you to be proud of me right that is a world of difference for then can I have my phone back well you did X Y and Z fine I'm sorry now can I have my phone back and if you get the phone back then F you know I really want to be close to you so we say hash before we say because we're saying Hashem whether or not you give me my phone back I I want to be close to you I'm ashamed and embarrassed by my mistakes by my miscalculations by the pursuit of my own pleasure and ego by a disregard for what you want I'm embarrassed and ashamed hasu and I'll get this in a minute but whether you'll forgive me or not whether you'll give me my phone back or not either way either way I want to feel close to you so this changes entirely the goal and mission of this time of the year it's not just about the technical forgiveness it's not just about the technical Deeds it's about evaluating the totality of our relationship of where are we I'll tell you something extraordinary I just learned in another context um it's a say for B Mish by Schwarz I think is his name and he has a section on Y and he has a beautiful essay in there that I was just looking at this morning and he talks about the following he says I may have mentioned this to you last week the beginning of it but he says the following he says you know rashash is the anniversary of the creation of the world no that's a Mist it's the anniversary of the creation of man rashash corresponds not with the first day of creation rashash corresponds with the sixth day of creation the first of Tish was the sixth day of creation what was created in the sixth day man Humanity why does that matter because we're not marking the creation of the heavens and the and the waters and the insects and the creepy crawlies and the birds and the whatever they can have their own rashash we're marking the significance of the world purpose of the world the world was created for me every person should should feel that way the world was created for me not for me in the ego sense for me for my happiness the world was created for me meaning that God would have created the whole world just for me I have a mission I have something to achieve to fulfill to conquer I have potential to realize I have a best version of myself that the whole world was worthy of creating just for me to be able to pursue that and Achieve that how did God create us so he he created he crafted us he took the dust of the ground and he molded and fashioned it into us were we alive at that point no we were a wax figure we were a gum we were a nothing we were a paper machine model took the Earth and he made a beautiful like a sand like you make a sand castle you can make a figure on the beach of sand Hashem took the dust of the earth and he turned us into he made a Adam but then then he breathed life he took a deep breath of himself and he breathed life into Man animated man gave man life a lot more to say about this is a beautiful that the chauffers are using that breath to produce that sound it's affirming that that breath of Hashem is the first original breath he placed within us is still there again a lot more to say not for now so the the body without a soul is there value no no it's it's a dead body body without a soul is nothing it's a corpse what about the soul without a body in this world there's also no value in the world to come yes yes but the soul if it lacks a body has no instrument has no no medium no vehicle with which to make choices with which to express Free Will so the whole purpose of being in this world in says is when the body houses the soul the two together are what give us free will to make choices which is What Gives Life Meaning in this world good now the body the body and soul both need to be nourished there was a body there was a soul you put the soul in the body now we walk around and we have two components that were blended into one right we've spoken about this at length adium it's not that we are a body that has a soul we are a soul and the soul is wearing the body just like we're wearing clothing right now but the clothing is not part of who we are we are who we are and we're wearing clothingman describes that the soul is wearing the clothing of the body the body is the Garment that the soul wears as it right I can't go out in public without clothing I need clothing to be in public so the soul to be in this world wears clothing that's called the body describes that he can't wait to just like at the end of the day you can't wait to take off the suit and the tie and the so his soul Longs for at the end of days when he can take off that body which is restricting him and constricting him and his so he can't wait to fly free and to be a soul can't wait to disrobe of that of that body so we walk around and we're made up of the two components I'm the body and I'm the soul I'm both now each of the components of who we are needs to be fed each of those components needs to be nourished if the body doesn't eat it's unhealthy there are mental illnesses there are diseases of people who don't want to eat for whatever reason and they're at risk the body is at risk if you don't feed the body the soul too needs to be nourished if the soul is not fed it atrophies it it it dies it dies they both need to be fed so here's a fundamental difference though this is what the bill vavi writes between the body and the Soul a healthy body it's a very unhealthy body if the body senses no appetite so right how do you know when someone's sick you see somebody who's lost a lot of weight often what you'll say to them if they look gaunt and they've lost a lot of weight and it's too quick you say is everything okay are you healthy I noticed you've lost a tremendous amount of weight are you okay so if they say I'm on this diet it's great I have a nutritionist I'm eating healthy now great answer but if they say I haven't been feeling right you know what I just have no appetite I have no appetite I'm going through a lot very anxious and I have no appetite so the body's at at risk if the body has no appetite the body's at risk because a healthy body has an appetite now do you have to learn the appetite yeah no noed Mom no a little child knows it skips a meal it's hungry hry it's hungry before the child can articulate other desires the child says can you make me chocolate milk right first of all before anything the newborn baby on the first day of his or her life is already wailing in the middle of the night because the instinctive appetite is kicked in that says I'm hungry you didn't have to teach the olive Bays to the baby to know it's hungry the baby on the first night of its existence wailed knew it knowing it was hungry and for the rest of our lives you don't have to sit and think you have to put your phone in airplane mode and determine H am I hungry no your body tells you you have to tell the you don't have to tell the body to eat what do you have to tell the body stop eating you're full you're full you've been fed you're good stop eating body doesn't have to be told to eat it has to be told to stop eating a healthy Soul like that body should have the appetite to be fed how is the soul fed the where's the food of the soul the mitz what you're doing generically to Mitzvah but more specifically the soul is fed it's alive when it doens it communicates with our creator it's fed when it does things for others when it's selfless when it gives through it's fed when when it pursues Knowledge Learning about Hashem through Torah through his world there's food for the soul like there's food for the body the body instinctively has an appetite and if it didn't we knew that we would know there's something wrong the soul also needs to have an appetite we even when we tend to do everything right he writes to B we tend to do everything right we're doing it not because we're hungry for it we're doing it so my son doesn't If he if you didn't make him eat he wouldn't eat he's not hungry he's never hungry he has it'll kick in but for now you got to identify his best foods you got to chase him around with the food you got to force feed him you got to tell him you got to eat you have to eat something you got to eat you got to eat so we what do we do we go to D we go to sh we do the why because we feel obligated because you got to eat you got to nourish the soul the goal is to get to a place where the soul has an appetite that just like the body if it skipped a meal would be ravenous just like the body even if you came at home at 1:00 a.m. you want something you're going to eat something on your way to bed now you say what are you crazy you're going to sleep just go to sleep you'll eat in the morning no I skipped dinner I'm hungry I'm not going to sleep till I eat something the soul should have an equal sense of an appetite that you know if the soul wasn't fed all day it could be 1:00 a.m. but before I go to bed I've got to feed the soul I'm saying something to hilum I'm reading a book I'm learning some Torah I got to do something to feed my soul before I fall asleep I am exhausted just like I would eat before passing out I have to eat the soul has to eat before it goes to sleep I love that analogy so the soul doesn't have an instinct the soul so so what he's saying I think it's amazing the analogy I just think so it doesn't have on so we need to exercise it so that it naturally will have exactly what he says is exactly that what he's saying is that just like we realize that a healthy body has an appetite that having an appetite is a sign of good health so too having a spiritual appetite to be fed is a sign of good spiritual health and that if we fail to have that spiritual appetite we have to ask ourselves why so I doubt them three times a day I even come to shua with a minion three times a day do I do it because I'm putting a check next to the checklist because I want to be a good Jewish boy and that's what I'm supposed to do or do I do it because I say you know I'm hungry I got to go eat I got to go eat through d in I can't wait to open the sitter and talk to Hashem I have so many things to thank him for I have so much to ask of him so many needs I have so many priorities to calibrate that I need doing to do do I doen because it's an obligation and I got to check it off I got to discharge it or do I doin because I have this appetite this hunger that I want to Davin and I haven't davened in a little while and so I'm hungry I haven't eaten in a little while so I'm hungry I haven't DED in a little while I'm hungry so again what he's saying is exactly this notion that that the way to evaluate whether we're healthy or not is you could see somebody who eats but they say I'm never really hungry but I eat because I I have to eat because I realize that I'm going to die if I don't eat is that person healthy no no the sign of health is that there's a healthy appetite particularly from a Jewish perspective you know esine kins why aren't you eating are you eating you have an appetite what's the matter why aren't you hungry for a mother that's like more than an MRI or a CAT scan or a blood test is if you don't have an appetite why aren what do you mean you're not hungry what's the matter with you what's the matter with you what do you mean you're not hungry that's just not a Jewish trait what do you mean you're not hungry so we have to say to ourselves spiritually what do you mean you're not hungry right what do you mean you're not hungry I understand I relate to not being hungry spiritually but what do you what do we mean we're not hungry how could we be so unhealthy that we're not hungry and how do we get back to a place where we're hungry how can we get back to a place where we say if I skip a spiritual meal I'm hungry if I skip a spiritual meal I'm hungry if a day goes by and I didn't feed my Nish by giving by volunteering by calling someone by checking in by opening a sitter by talking to us if a day goes by let alone a meal I'm hungry and there are days by the way where we don't have time to eat or with circumstances didn't allow us to eat and we wake up that next morning ravenous starving our stomach's growling does our stach does our spiritual stomach growl and so what he's saying I'm only a little bit into this piece this essay he has the B so by next week I can tell you what he says more is that during elol is about ask asking ourselves why am I not hungry if I'm hungry that's great what's my diet what's my spiritual diet and if I'm not hungry why am I not hungry and the same way that if you didn't have a physical appetite what would you do he writes this if you didn't have a physical appetite you went to the doctor and you say Doc I don't know what's going on I'm never hungry I'm shedding weight like crazy I have no appetite doctor's going to run some blood tests and if the blood test don't come back and tell you what it is he going to do a cat skin doesn't tell he's going to do an MRI he's going to do a series of workout test everything till he could tell you why you have no appetite so we to the spiritual doctor we say I have no appetite and we make the mistake of thinking doing doesn't do it for me I'm not really interested or even I doav but I don't really get anything out of it I do this Mitzvah that Mitzvah I do this that's do doesn't really do anything for me so then the doctor says well we got to do some tests those are symptoms just like if you exhibit physical symptoms a doctor is going to want to find what's the cause right so now say blood tests come back and it shows who you got an infection you have a very high white count what's the next thing doctor's going to want to know why have a white F where's this infection what organ is the infection and what was the cause of the infection is it viral is it bacterial where's this infection from so so to when you do the spiritual evaluation you say my is bad my is bad my is bad my daving is bad my learning is bad there's an infection so don't don't get confused or distracted by the symptoms identify the infection and say where's this infection coming from is there a problem in my amuna with Hashem what is the source of my spiritual infection that I have no appetite why do I have no appetite so we make the mistake of stopping too often at the point of having no appetite but really we have to get to the next level which is to try to identify to get to the Crux of just like a doctor would do physically why do you have no appetite well spiritually why do you have no appetite I understand your doing is not flowing well I understand you have no desire to learn I understand you have no desire to be giving I got it but why what's the source of that infection where is what's going wrong why is it and let's fix that and that's what El's about what's the source of that infection and can we fix that we'll pick up from here andem