Part 65: Clinging to Hashem in Good Times and Difficult Ones

good morning everyone morning it's great to be back I want to thank our sponsors for our amuna this morning Sarah katuna in memory of her beloved grandson UD Ben abam so sorry alah and as well and give birth to a healthy baby she should have an easy delivery and both mother and baby should be well so thank you to our sponsors I also want to thank Naomi con the proprietor of the brand new saholic for bringing uh I ask you to please eat them all so none are left in this home please finish them you can have it if you uh if you want to sponsor a class sh everyone has a lot to say I gave you a few weeks to talk now we're uh we're back together it's time to be quiet okay we have been making our way through the SLB shom T in his peric onus his chapter onus this is from May in his chapter on Deus and we've been talking about the many different ways of clinging to Hashem first we developed the whole idea of clinging to that sometimes when you want to connect to something great you find someone else who excels at that area of greatness and by clinging to them you are connecting with that area of greatness we also talked about the idea of a achieving Deus through shabas that chabas is a time ofus when one has Serenity and peace from the chaos and the stress of the week one can find room to cling so we're on page I believe that's what we're on that's what we're going to read anyway whether we're on it or not so again the notion of is just to Define as we've been doing it's been a couple weeks so just to remember amuna is in the abstract amuna is the theoretical amuna is the knowledge that there is a Creator a first cause that there is a omnipotent being who brought the universe into existence is knowing that that first cause that Creator didn't just build the world and move on he built the world and he remains intimately involved with us and that all that occurs to us is by Design not by chance all that happens is for our best as unfortunately difficult and the challenging as that is at times everything that happens is for our best that's vus in fact I'll deviate for a moment even before we begin because the this week's is a very very beautiful piece of very beautiful Insight I won't take the time to tell you the whole thing because I want to get back to our our topic but he talks about the nishma in this week's para even though the story of kabalas Tor was in last week's para why is it called kabalas Tor not Matan Torah because we continue to reaccept it each and every day a new so last week was and people associate that when the Jewish people were offered the Torah we responded we will do and then we will listen um but it's actually in this week's para Andes the the was written by the chob the beginning of the dynasty of tskies who broke up into different arms of that but the writes the following he says that when the Jewish people put before our life is filled with ups and downs there's a rhythm to our life there's a cycle to our life I think that's true in almost every area of our life take diet there are times that you're well behaved you're in a good Zone you're eating right you're feeling great there's times that you're undisciplined you're letting go you could care less when it comes to exercise when it comes to being careful how we speak when it comes to relationship there are times in a relationship where there's infatuation and romance and love and the other can do absolutely no wrong in your eyes and then there's times where before they woke up in the morning they're already guilty they're terrible before they even open their eyes they're wrong they're wrong so our lives are filled with y y and Y Aliah we have times of ascent times that we're going up times that we're plugged in we're on fire we're feeling good and you may times that we're going down so says the when the Jewish people put NASA before nishma you know what the greatness of nasma was NASA means we're ready to do whatever the circumstance whatever is going on whether we understand or not whether we're motivated or not whether we're driven or not but we're ready to do nishma is let's talk let's communicate I want to understand more I want to understand better the NASA before nishma was the Jewish people's affirmation it was their declaration n that even even when we're not feeling it even when we're uninspired even when we feel disconnected we're all in I'm not just going to sh I'm not just opening a sitter I'm not just saying to I'm not just having good mid I'm not just being careful with lashar when I feel inspired but even when I'm uninspired even when I'm going through a difficult situation in life even when Hashem is testing us with something we don't understand and we're struggling with our family or our parasa or a dream which hasn't been realized a great disappointment even may even when we're going down we're ready to doish is in the when we're on fire we're inspired nishma all I do is listen to sh and all I do is read books and all I do is want to share T and I'm on fire so then is nishma but NASA is even the even when our way down why am I sharing this with you because then he continues the says something fantastic relates to what we're studying we're studying about we're studying about clinging cleaving to hem I forgot to Define it am is in the abstract God created the world is he's an intimately involved in my lives everything that happens is by Design andus is the result is I cling to him that when I'm going through the difficult situation I live life looking through the lens and through the filter of seeing the Yem and even when I'm challenged and even when something's no good I cling to hasem and I understand that he's got my back that everything's going to work out for a reason that's not only during the good times it's easy to practice you know you just had aim in the family you have a new grandchild you just won the lottery you just got the new job you just met somebody you think is your soulmate you just whatever the case is in the time of Aliyah when everything's going well it's easy to have to think Hashem I'm clinging with you you've got my back and I love you and you come through and everything's amazing but how do you cling to Hashem even in the hard times so one of the we have numerous but one of the for is we're familiar with that from when we take out the Torah so the points out and you you got to cling to God when when he's both B and when he's why do we use God's name twice B he's a dual personality schizophrenia why are we using aem's name twice so we know that each name of God reflects a different component or aspect of God soem is when we use when use the name Hashem it's reflecting God's almost maternal Instinct his inclination towards compassion towards being forgiving and forgoing when you use Elohim elim we actually use the same word in the Torah Elohim means a judge a human judge the same word describes a human judge and is one of the names of God why because when we're invoking that aspect of God that he's a he sits in judgment strict Justice there's no flexibility there's no tolerance strict justice so says the you have to feel when whether you're feeling his or you're feeling his both relationships with hasem whatever is going on in your life whether it's coming easy whether it's all well or whether it's difficult and whether it's challenging but either situation in life find a way to dig deep and to feel connected to feel connected to this is what when it says he says there are three descriptions of Darkness one is deeper and darker than the other and it's dark app at night time dark cap our oldest daughter just started college in New York this weekend she has to wake up early to take the train to Manhattan she texted us this morning she doesn't like waking up when it's dark outside right and then she got a rude awakening she doesn't like having to take the train when it's snowing outside going away from so is the normal Darkness Anan is an even thicker Darkness but arel is a fog is a fog you can't see through so mosha was able to penetrate the fog of theel where he found Elohim what's Elohim meaning what you looking for the three this is from so Moshe some of us can find God even when it's and others even in the an only Moshe was able to penetrate the fog of the arel when it's the greatest M when hasem is exerting the strictest sense of justice is not is out in the open this is what we say that's like the light is Illuminating this Clarity you can see his something amazing happened something worked out perfectly for you amazing story oh it's clear as day and everything worked out and everything's amazing and it wasn't meant to work out and it worked out and that is B it's clear as day when is at night when it feels like you're under the cloak of darkness when God is hidden when all you see is his mid so the challenge of to feel that you're clinging and cleaving to Hashem that he has our back is not only when everything works out that's so to say easy although many neglect and forget to do it then too but it's when they feel you have to have both in the moments of when you feel and in the moments of when you feel it's not often the opposite that it says that um we usually when we're need hope and we're going through a difficult time that's when we'll turn to Hashem and when things are going well that's when we kind ofle Hashem like everything's fine I'm saying isn't that often yeah there is the element of that so the there's the famous you know comment there's no atheist in a foxhole which actually there was a study out of England two weeks ago that supported it that I mentioned it I don't remember at the amuna class there was a study out of England two weeks ago that showed a third of atheists um who were surveyed described that in a crisis they pray even though they don't believe in God it's like that song atheist convention atheist convention in La so there's no atheist in a foxhole what that really means is they think they're atheist they're not they're hedging their bet in case there is a God but it means in their in their kishkas in their heart in their soul they know there's something bigger they know there's something greater so yes when we're desperate we call out to God for help but when he doesn't seem to answer and we're going through through that crisis many many people are um I was just talking to somebody yesterday who lost a loved one and uh he was describing that after his brother died tragically young his father struggled to connect with God people go through a difficult time and in the arael when they feel that you know there's no explanation this makes no sense that person is such a good person because it only seems like the worst things happen to the best people right I'm still waiting for hasm to ask my opinion about who he should give these terrible things to um he's doing the opposite the list of the least likely people I would say to give things to seem to be the ones who are getting it including this young man who was stabbed and murdered in Israel because today we live in a crazy time where you could watch a video of someone being stabbed and murdered which is horrific it should traumatize us you should not sleep for a week after seeing that video and again every one of these victims is is not the neighbors don't describe oh he was a manal and a low life he was a jerk and he was mean everyone of these people who get a terrible illness or who are who are struck by Terror in Israel seem to be the best people so we we don't understand it we don't understand it and it's easy to understand why in the arel why in that fog someone would feel the elim that that it's hard to see him and it's hard to feel him it's hard to cling to him so you know I draw strength I draw strength from the people who've been in the worst of that fog and who practice the highest vas nonetheless right the top category among those are Holocaust Survivors not all not all Holocaust Survivors and we don't judge anyone who doesn't or who struggled to find God after the Holocaust but you find the Holocaust Survivor Mr juditz and uh and others and and you see their level of their level ofus after what they went through their positive attitude and their positive spirit and then we can figure out that whatever we're going through that um it's not of the magnitude of what they endured so it's not I don't mean to minimize this or simplify it or make it sound like it's easy that's why it's called avod aod Hashem is not called you know vacation of Hashem it's not it's not called it's not called relaxing with Hashem it's called aod hasem it's an aod being able to achieve this level mentally spiritually mindfully is is an aod it's work you got to shitz over it you got to toil over it you got to think you got to train yourself to be able to get into this head space but it's true in both directions whether it's a moment of hm whether it's a moment you got to feel hasem so I'll tell you two stories because now I live my life looking for stories to share on the here so um so I'll tell you one moment where it was a where it was a so I went to go pay a Shiva call in Palm Beach the other day and it's a schle it was a 40-minute drive up there and uh I thought it was the right thing to do whatever the particular circumstance to pay the Shiva call so I pull in front of this building where the family is sitting shiva and um there was Valley parking and I said to the attendant as I got out I'm just going to be a couple minutes which is my usual way of saying please don't take the car anywhere far away um so then I saw he said oh you could you could leave it right pulled over back there so I said oh do you want me to pull it back there are you going to pull back there I'd given him the key and there was like a moment pause and he said I'll do it and then I went in the building as I went the elevator I felt bad like I could have moved the car and I felt bad but maybe that is his job and he didn't feel bad so anyway I take the elevator up eighth floor and as I get out the elevator the elevator of the door next to me is closing and who's in the elevator the people I was going to pay the Shiva call to so they pressed the button quickly and opened the elevator doors and said oh we were going to rest now we were going to back to our homes where we were going to go rest but I'm so happy you're here come we'll sit with you so I realized as I was sitting with them that had I moved the car that that split extra second I drove 40 minutes up there I would have totally missed them they hadn't posted times when they were sitting sh by the way wasn't that I ignored their times um so that was a moment to me of that that whatever it was every traffic light I made on the way up there or every second was timed that that very second I saw them cuz I would have been really annoyed to have driven up there and knock on the door and nobody be there and not have the sh call to pay so those are the moments that that that could just happen happens every day right so it could happen and you could not notice it it could happen and you could say oh what a coincidence that you were in that elevator and I was in this elevator or it can happen and you can say this is a moment of wow thank you so much for orchestrating things in such a way that it worked out exactly it worked out exactly that way sometimes you have to remember to employ vas in the opposite when we were in Israel right now does my mother know the story partially when we were in Israel right now we rented the car which was a big nine-seater like bus and uh I was driving on the highway we're trying to get to the Koto for early in the morning gotten kids awake and in the car and uh all of a sudden on the highway on Route One a light comes on that says your brakes are malfunctioning pull pull to the side so okay anyway we pulled to the side and I'm not going to tell you the whole story but we sat there for an hour and a half and the rental car company wasn't getting through to us and many Israel drivers were driving by and cursing us because we were kind of blocking uh the lane a little bit and the police came and like whatever I don't want to say l but about but like typically instead of can I help you it's like what are you m what are you standing here for not what's the matter what can I do but what's what are you crazy you think this is a place to stop no I don't think it's a place to stop I don't have brakes anyway he didn't care he wanted us to move to a safer place and he drove with us slowly and as we drove the light went off and the car worked out fine and in the end we were able to get to the villain and whatever it's a whole story but as we were sitting there for an hour and a half the side of the cold Road of a highway with children his cars are zipping by not the safest drivers in the world the and I were like oh we got to use that amuna class stuff we talk about like everything's for a reason we don't know why there's a reason this is happening right now everything is with a everything is with a sense of everything is with a sense of deus I'll tell you one last story and then we'll get to back to our text here because we've been off for a few weeks so I have a few stories so um I can't tell you the details of the story but we've been having to make a difficult decision about something recently and really over the decision and what's right and which is right and what to decide and how to do and a couple weeks ago somebody met with me and we're making small talk and then I said to the person what can I do for you you know why why why have you come and she said to me you know ra Goldberg I'm not even sure why I made this meeting I'm not exactly sure why I'm here but I'm here visiting and I know people who know you and they said you're going to boo you really should meet with rebbe Goldberg fine I thought that was a little peculiar I'm not really sure why I'm meeting with you made a meeting okay we continue to talk and I asked her a question about something and then she began to talk about the same topic that we have to make a decision about and spoke about one of the sides in that topic with such an endorsement and such a glowing experience and such that as I sat there I literally got emotional and I said you don't know why you came today but I know exactly why why you came today so there are these moments of where there's a guiding hand this Providence that the things that's happening in your life they're not chance they're not coincidence they're not random they are by Design and the common theme of the three stories I told you is you got to have your antenna up you got to be listening whether it's a moment of or whether it's a moment of you have to be willing to put up your antenna and to take in the signal and to feel hashem's presence in our life know that beautiful beautiful even in the fog of the arel that's where you find yeah I I tell you just to expand on that I I think kind of paradoxically sometimes maybe this is what you were saying you find hasem is most accessible in the arel paradoxically because you think what do you mean in the fog he's the most invisible he's the most distant he's the most inaccessible but on the other hand when you're in when you're out of the fog you struggle with thinking who's in control you or him who's pulling the strings you or him what's really at work nature or him and when you get into that fog and you're in that desperate place then you you have no choice but to confront and realize that you know what I'm just not in control I just don't understand and I just can't make sense of this universe and it kind of causes you to to to concede that that you're in control and to realize that there is a Hashem you know as you're saying that I was just thinking of it anyone ever been to the blind Museum in Israel scary the blind Museum in Israel is very scary had to run out in the middle she was traumatized she she couldn't she couldn't do it the blind Museum the blind Museum in Tel Aviv is um is a is a to say it's pitch black is an understatement it's like it's not just that there's no lights I don't know how you make it darker than no lights but it is the darkest place on Earth and and uh and basically you go from room to room and each room has different sensory experiences you go into the equivalent of a shopping a supermarket you got to pick out items and you go into the equivalent of a bedroom and you go into the equivalent of and the idea is to get an insight into what a blind person how a blind person has to live blind person leads you that that's right right the M the who lead you in it are each blind are blind people they're talking to you they're describing what they do and you have that experience yourself in fact so went in with our children and I stayed out with Shai who was a baby at the time and then she couldn't take it so she me and we switched places but I wasn't there for the orientation so I didn't know that on the way in everybody has a stick like a blind person so all I know is I run in and I'm getting smacked on my legs and I couldn't figure out why who's beating me so bad is this like part of the experience what is going on over here so I asked the person like what is there something on the ground that's hitting me anyway so it was an unbelievable experience but you know what you talk about a humbling experience you talk about about something that is incredibly incredibly humbling so humbling you realize like I think I'm running the world I'm manipulating the world I'm controlling the world and then you realize what a gift wow I wake up every morning I can see what a miracle what a miracle because you know the gamar says that somebody who's blind is and I understand it right today we have a world which is more supportive for a person struggling with with blindness but back in the time of the gamar I can understand that the world is shut off to you you can't you have no functionality you have no access and it's it's unbelievably humbling actually we're in Israel right now we were driving and we saw um it was the sweetest Act of but the waitress from a restaurant which we could see was across the street and down the block was walking with a blind man to helping him cross the street and get him get him on his way it was a really beautiful image so that's the ARL in the arel everyone's rendered blind when you get into the fog and in the darkness you can't see you don't pretend you could see you're not even squinting and trying to maybe catch a glimpse of seeing and understanding you are absolutely forfeited and conceited that you are blind that you see nothing and so I think those are the two ways that we can respond to that fog you could either see it as a place absent of God and think that you're an atheist and where is God and I can't connect or you could realize I see nothing I'm utterly blind I'm utterly impotent I'm utterly dependent I lack total control and in that very place in that very place is God that's what we say in says all those who were pursuing CAU us between the Straits in the three weeks but the say to read it Hashem if you're running after God you can find him where in the in the dark moments in the in the fog with the blindness sometimes you have no choice but to realize I'm not in control I don't control the universe yesterday our community suffered a terrible um tragedy Theo our custodian who's been at the SCH for more than 10 years um was discovered in his apartment he had passed away I think it was a massive heart attack 29 years old how old was 29 years old and a just a great guy with a big heart who really was part of our family for for more than the last 10 years years a terrible tragedy so that's a moment of arafel you just what you make sense of that a 29-year-old good guy a good guy it's a moment ofel so you just throw up your hands and you concede to Theon I don't understand you I don't understand your ways and uh but I trust you that's the deas is that I trust you it doesn't make sense I don't understand it I don't know if we'll ever comprehend it or other tragedies like it but we throw up our hands in the arel and look for the and say I have no choice at this point but to say you're in charge you're in control let's go to Let's actually read a little bit one of the core things that brings you to this because we've talked about now how do you achieve how do you arrive at especially how do you arrive atos when God seems like he's he's hidden behind the curtain when you're in a fog cling to his to his character that one should emulate God's way God ways identify God's character what drives God his values and his virtues and then emulate his ways walk in his footsteps and this makes sense based on the love God Walk in his path and cling to him how do you cling to him by walking in his path you know I'll give you um let's keep reading just like love brings you to feeling close so to walking in someone's ways meaning when you improve yourself when you purify your your character you end up clinging just like cursed cannot cling to blessed so the more physical you are the less you can cling to that which is purely spiritual only by purifying ourselves so we're more spiritual Than Physical can we cling to the spiritual I spoke yesterday at high school they have a program for seniors where they um I forgot the name of the program need to beond death is that it it's basically the Jewish way of death and dying they learn about tahara they go to a tahara room kadisha young people are not usually exposed to these things and it's not in aara but it's it's actually an amazing exercise in amuna and understanding the notion of of the Nish of the Soul so I always give the introduction to the course and I talks about talk about the difference between the soul and the body and what happens when we die and I spoke to them yesterday about um once give surrounded by this theme that we make the mistake of thinking that we are a body and we have a soul when the truth is we are a soul and we have a body and the more that we think that we have a that we are a body so we nurture and we nourish the body and we pamper the body and we indulge the body and that we say what who we see in the mirror the vanity that we see in the mirror of who we are that's the real me ah some soul somewhere I have I make a br I DAV I do these nice things because there's a soul somewhere but that person I see in the mirror is is the real me that's really the the wrong way to live life the right way the righteous way to live life is to say I am a soul and I happen to be wearing a body but the body is to the soul what clothing are to the body clothing are utilitarian I wear them they're functional and then I take them off because they serve their purpose the body is a vehicle and an instrument for the soul to express its Free Will and to make choices in this world but you know at the end of life we take off that body the soul is extracted from the body which is why our rabbis don't call death they call it the soul being extracted from the body and is that moment painful or Blissful it depends if you lived your life thinking that you were a body and you had a soul when the soul is extracted from the body it's very painful for the soul which is why we have companionship and we have a showare and all the things surrounding tahara and Sh and Thea and the Shiva are all about comforting the soul as it's transitioning upstairs with the realization that the body who he always thought it was him or her really is not and is going back under the ground from where it came but the degree to which a person lives life realizing I am a soul and I have a body and I can't wait to take off this body used to say I can't wait to be able to undress from my body so my soul can fly free right just like I love taking off my tie and jacket and getting the suit off it's a straight jacket I can't wait to take the straight jacket off and and put on a t-shirt and shorts just want to relax so to the soul says I can't wait to undress from the body so the person who realizes I am a I am a soul and have a body and they spent life nurturing and nourishing the soul and caring about the body as a vehicle for the soul but understanding that really the primary is the soul so for that person when the soul is extracted from the body it's a moment of bliss it's described by our rabbis as a Nika the kiss of death kiss it feels great it feels free it feels free exactly so is the ultimate of a spirit he's he's entirely spiritual we live in a world where we're half and half we have an animal soul and we have a Godly Soul whichever soul that we are going to allow to trium and to control the other will Define us and whether we can in fact cling to Hashem will be determined by which Soul we allow to Define us so if we live life thinking that I am the person I see in the mirror and all I care about is my Manny petti and my makeup and my appearance and my hair or my shadil or my clothing or my fashion or my cosmetic surgery or my everything nothing wrong with being put together and fashionable and attractive but if we make the mistake of thinking that all I am is how I appear then we can't achieve how could you cling to God if you're entirely invested in the physical material world not even necessarily the superficial vein world but all I care about is eating and sleeping and the pleasures of the flesh all I care about is the physical Material World all I care about is my house and my car and the brand name on my clothing so how could I cling to Hashem who's purely spiritual but the degree to which I realize that I am a soul I a spirit that's who I am and I simply use the physical world and I not only am allowed to I'm encouraged to derive pleasure from the physical world but all as a means to enrich the soul but really at my core I am a soul so if I live my life knowing I am a soul being enriched by the phys physical but really a spirit so now I have a much easier path now I can cling to to through spirituality I uh I don't know if it'll ever appear the article or my quote but a journalist from The Wall Street Journal reached out to me a few days ago doing a story on on the Jewish view of modesty and this um fashion bloggers fashion modest fashion bloggers sest fashion bloggers which I didn't even know was a thing but so what I the quote I gave her I said I don't know whether the article will appear or the quote will be used but was that the whole Jewish notion of modesty is exactly this that we are a soul who has a body not a body who has a soul and if we want people that we interact within the world to interact with our soul not our body then modesty challenges them forces them to say interact with the depth of who I am not The Superficial of who I am interact with the Eternal component of who I am not the temporary fading part of who I am so we believe in being put together and attractive and even I wrote you know if you're into the beauty of fashion so that's also a way of connecting to hashem's World art sculpture music and beauty of the aesthetic there's nothing wrong with that but only if it's a vehicle towards something not an ends unto itself all of that comes from our understanding such a core critical understanding that we are a soul that has a body we're not a body that has a soul and this too is part of the path the method ology ofus if we want to achieve Deus you cannot be immersed in the physical world you cannot be drawn down to the physical world living through because living for physical pleasure living for material things Living For The Superficial and think you're going to connect to that which is truly spiritual so how do you achieve Deus is not it's kind of indirect we talked about a lot of direct ways but an indirect way to achieve daus is to work on ourselves be a better person be humble be kind be generous be sensitive be caring realize that the the true you is not anything that's seen in the mirror but is the soul that is buried deep within and the more we can work on that and express that component of who we are it will yield a feeling of closeness with hem and that's what really that's why in the love God how do you love him walk in his ways and what will be the result of walking in his ways namely being more spiritual Than Physical the result will be you will feel connected you will cling to him you know we do things all the time that let us make us feel when we imitate someone we feel connected to them when you make your mother's recipe you don't feel connected to her even if she's long gone Eric Stein someone in our sha wears his father's Talis for yizar only for yizar each time he says Yar he puts on his father's Talis and he feels cloaked like he's getting a hug from his father father when he says yes I always thought that to be a very beautiful Minh and there are countless examples of when we imitate someone we do something the way they did or the way they taught us it achieves the result is we feel very connected to them so God is God is kind and compassionate God is God clothes the naked and God visits the sick and God Comforts The mourner so the gar says when we imitate when we walk in his way when we follow his footstep then we end up feeling connected to him we feel close to him so if you want to achieve closeness the answer the method is walk in his way be like him it's kind of an indirect way but of achieving of achieving that result so we'll stop here but uh bless all of us that we should stop Wow have longer we should all succeed in nourishing and nurturing our souls amen