(Part 154): Faithfulness

good morning and Boker Tove it is so great to be back together again for another installment and episode of living with amuna our support group that gets together and gathers on Wednesday mornings virtually and around the world to strengthen ourselves and one another and our attitude and approach and our affirmation that Hashem is involved in our life he not just involved in our life he is our life and that our existence and our sustenance and our well-being and our future that all that happens none of it is random and chance it is all by design it is all from Hashem and we are so grateful so grateful our lives are filled and defined by an attitude of gratitude we wake up in the morning and we don't see what isn't we see what is we're not worried about what will be we're grateful for what we have we don't look at what's half empty we look at what's half full and when you wake up with that attitude of gratitude when you live your life with that appreciation and that focus and that context no matter what you're facing no matter what you're fearful no matter what you're waiting to hear results on you have the fortitude because you know that your father's in charge you know he's got your back you know he's in control and you know he's promised that he will be there for you I want to thank our amuna sponsors for the year thank you so much Dr Avi and Bella Morgan who sponsored the Zas in memory of our dear friend whose first year site is coming up Rabbi Dr Brian galet who certainly was a role model for so many of us in living a life of amuna this morning's class in particular as well sponsored by Leo and Lucy D of eat Israel in memory of Leo's great-grandfather father of led him led to him sending his son to a school where he learned to in Ria in 1910 and ultimately to Alas 100 years later kod we're all going to be joining you it's not a matter of if but matter a matter of when when we all belong there when we'll all get there thank you for your generosity and your and your sponsorship before we dive back into what we've been studying R schwarz's know your know that we have that within us we have it within us we were learning last night another context of how to be our best selves that a life of immortality a life of the contact with the next World a life of meaning and purpose the rest of it comes and it goes the rest of us we can't control finances and health and so much else all we can control and all we can create is meaning and purpose with what we have that life that it is planted within us that capacity for serenity for peace for calm we all have we can tap into it it's there don't tell me you can't what can I do I just have these thoughts I'm anxious I'm worried I'm concerned I'm frazzled I'm fearful I'm envious I'm angry I'm arrogant what can I do don't relinquish control of what you have we each have the ability to control our own thoughts we each create our own reality we each take responsibility for the life that we are living it's a choice that we make never ever make that mistake so many of these things are not emotions they're choices happiness is not an emotion happiness is a choice it's what you focus on will yield and bring that happiness if you tap into meaning and purpose again last night we spoke about in this best version of yourself part two we spoke about the studies that show that actually what brings happiness is not what activity you're doing but how present and mindful you are in that activity so you think well if only I had this spouse or these children if I only had that money or that experience if only I can go to that place if only I could afford that food or this clothing then I'd be happy but right in front of us is that's not the secret to happiness the secret to happiness is the capacity to be present and to draw and take all that we can out of life the rich life that hem has given us it is planted within us but it's up to us to realize it to peel back the layers to reveal it to live it to bring it out fully that is something which is exclusively up toss before we delve back into what we're studying I just have to tell you an amazing V on our para that I love to share each and every year the op the says about the par the following you got a double two for the price of one this week two and the op of the is says we have in our the ml the mikl an individual who kills by accident an accidental murder and the family of the victim is entitled to go pursue the person who perpetrated The Accidental murder so this is the original game of tag if you go to home then you're untouchable so the person who perpetrated this accidental murder just has to make their way to one of the six cities of Refuge one of the six are a mlot and if you make your way to one of the six are a mlot you are Untouchable there six are a mlot three in Israel proper three east of the yardan That's the Law the City of Refuge and in that City of Refuge you find protection and security and comfort you're untouchable there at least for the length of how long the Coen God remains alive and then you go free so the opor of the says what do we do today it's 2020 T when we feel pursued when someone's threatening or chasing us and by that it could be somebody who's sharing us with lies on the internet who's threatening us with saying we're it could be we're being pursued and chased by a virus an invisible virus which we feel for a worried is at our doorstep or even in our home what do we do when we feel threatened where do we go we don't have our AR mikl we don't have our Cities of Refuge says the the op yes you do and you know what that what it's called there were six ml and there are six words in sh is knew do you know where we go for protection do you know we go for Safety and Security you know where we go for Comfort to know someone has our back that we're Untouchable while we're there we immerse ourselves in Hashem in accepting Hashem sh is speak to that pentad inside yourself the P that's worried and fearful and anxious the PID who can't live in what is because they're worried what will be speak to is listen up y listen up isra listen up the Jew inside you Hashem ALU Hashem is our God Hashem there's a Harmony to the universe there's a Oneness to the universe because it's all his will the six words of are the six where we run where we immerse ourselves where we find the very same feelings of Safety and Security that the ear mlot that the Ari mlot used to provide they're not available to us today but Hashem is always available to us today yesterday tomorrow whenever and wherever we may be okay let's delve back into let's delve back into our article IMO is so just to remind you and give you a sense of context what are we talking about where are we where are we so Schwarz has been developing the notion that there's an outer self and an inner self and the outer self is defined by battles and struggles by conflict and the inner self is defined by peace and Harmony Harmony and a Serenity and a in our lives they're both true neither of them is a lie there is a reality that we're battling we're battling fatigue and lethargy we're battling appetite and Temptation we're battling virus and illness we're battling economic Fallout we're battle battle battle battle battle all day long it's true but it's also true that there's an inner voice at inside us who's able to look at this world with Harmony and peace and say whatever will be will be bring it on I'm not afraid because it's what Hashem has in store and designed for me and though even day even though every day brings new information and a new reality and throws me for a new Loop Loop that I didn't expect so what I'm going to take a deep breath reaffirm that the breath of life that Hashem put in me and my trust and submit to him I'm going to let go and I'm going to ride this journey called life that he's going to take me through with so many stops also our para mat and M Mas is all about the journeys the Jewish people took through the desert and just like that 40-year Journey had many stops so to the journey of our life has many stops and at each stop I meant to gain something at each stop I'm meant to feel his presence at each stop he can be found throughout the whole journey that is your life you can know him you can know him in quarantine you can know him when you're out you can know him when all is well you can know him when you're struggling you can know him and find him in each and every scenario and in each and every place so I have that outer voice and that inner voice and they're both a reality and the question is which one will I listen to which one will I turn up the volume on which one will I broadcast to myself and others which one will Define me and the way to cultivate this this is where we last left off got a real mug this time not just a disposable cup but I've got my cup of coffee and we naturally inherently we'll make and drink our cup of coffee and we don't even remember it because for us it was a given the car will work I know that doesn't impress the coffee snobs out here espresso you grind your own coffee I know we get some coffee snobs I said carig and you can't even listen to my sheum anymore it's nothing I know coffee snobs I've been lectured countless times I'm a simple yid it's good enough for me the carck machine so you press the button and your coffee is produced and my mug it's going to hold the coffee and I will have the ability to lift it and drink it and all the parts that go into the fact that there were pods they were manufactured they were shipped they're not poisonous or contaminated not going to kill me the car didn't malfunction it didn't break down it didn't explode and it didn't spill the mug didn't shatter it didn't break it didn't spring a leak my limbs and body and muscles work I'm able to lift it to my lips I didn't spill it all over my shirt I haven't burnt myself on it a million different things that I have to work about drinking up a cup of coffee and how many of them I ever thought about contemplated worried about zero nada gourish nothing oh tast is true yeah that's that's even less than Carrick so how many have I ever thought about or hesitated with Gish nothing it's second nature to me but if I stop and pause and think about all the things that need to go right in order to successfully drink a cup of coffee then I'll just become paralyzed and debilitated because there are so many things that need to come right so what gives me the faith what gives me the confidence to know I could drink my cup of coffee because because I turned to Hashem implicitly it's not an explicit thought process I go through but implicitly I know that he is behind me and that could be taken away from me and any day God forbid God forbid my muscles or joints could break down my neurons could stop firing or shooting so that my limbs will listen my coffee can become contaminated my mug can shatter and break my current could explode and start a fire and why does none of that happen only because of the goodness and graciousness of God go I and so implicitly in our lack of worrying is the acknowledgement and affirmation not just because of history that has shown me that none of those things happen but that reason that history of none of those things happening is because of hm's guiding hand and I trust it implicitly when I drink each cup of coffee and I can continue to trust it implicitly with everything else and every other area of my life and that is his theory is that look at the things we don't worry about and use them as a model use them as a springboard use them as a precedent and apply it to the other areas of our life that we do worry about so he says the following once I posed it to you all the things that need to go right in order for us to successfully drink a cup of coffee and then I were to ask you add them all up put them all on a line let's contemplate again if I were a teacher in a classroom with a whiteboard and you were students and we had time we would go through and everybody would offer their suggestion of what it is and we'd list it on the on the board and we'd go through it right and then we'd look at the bottom line we'd put a line on the bottom and we'd say good so why am I willing to risk it and try to make and drink a cup of coffee and I know this is a silly absurd example but I'm giv ex extreme example in order to be able to make our point so if I put a line on the bottom of all those potential things that could go worried go wrong that really we should worry about and some of you are now never going to drink a cup of coffee again I'm glad I added a new a new uh Neurosis for you so what is the reason on the bottom line that I'm willing to drink that cup of coffee I'm willing to take that risk the answer is if we really went through this exercise to its end I would say how do I know it's not contaminate how do I know it's not poison how do I know it's not going to kill me how do I know it's not going to Spill and burn me how do I know it's not going to go wrong how do I know it's a risk worth taking because I trust in Hashem because I think all the parts of it that could go wrong will go right has created a world in which for the most part those things have all gone right and I believe they will continue to work so just like implicitly without thinking about without articulating without reflecting on it without having to meditate about it I simply submit and trust and I'm willing to jump in forem when it comes to making a cup of coffee the same is true in the other areas of our life m so what happens if I go through that exercise and every now and then I stop and I think about and I contemplate in my dinner table I pose that question and I say but we're not worried nonetheless because we trust in Hashem and then I expand on that and then I apply that to other areas and Arenas of my life and I say just like I'm willing to take that risk and just like I'm willing to trust when it comes to the cup of coffee the same is true in the other areas of my life I which I panic and I fear and I sometimes get debilitated take the success take the model the Paradigm of where it's working you don't have to recreate the wheel you don't have to start it from scratch you don't have to instill a sense of amuna really all areas of our life I order the medicine I pick it up from the supermarket from the pharmacy and I take it and I'm not worried it's going to contaminate I'm going to kill me I order the fast food and I pick it up at the restaurant and I eat the takeout and I'm not worried that it's going to kill me I cross the street and I'm not worried there are blind spots and I don't really trust myself and I can't see I get in that car and I'm not worried that if I step on the brake it's going to fail I get onto that plane and I know it's going to take me to the destination I'm not worried about what will be there are literally thousands of choices we make a day which implicitly we are submitting and trusting and if we go through the exercise to the ends we will realize it's because we recognize that Hashem is behind them so take those successful models take those successful examples and realize that inside every one of us inside every one of us is a voice of faith and a voice of trust and a voice of Hope and a voice of optimism and a voice that is willing to take that leap and take that successful leap and apply it and leap elsewhere but it takes the mindfulness the self-reflection and self-awareness to every now and then pause and to say why am I not worried that the roof is going to cave in on my head why am I not worried and to go through it all the way till the end till you get to because there's a rebon there's a God and he created Architects and engineers and houses don't naturally fall on people's heads for no reason and therefore I can trust that mine won't either but at the bottom line at the end of that conversation that form is the almighty is Theon just like he's there when it comes to these other areas of my life he can be when it comes to the areas I'm afraid of you have to understand that it's not self-confidence and self assuredness and it's not because you trust yourself and your ability to do these things when you get in the car it's not just that you trust that you're going to be a good driver you have to trust that the brakes and the gas are going to work too and you're not in control of that so when we feel self assurance self-confidence when we feel that we're not battling and that there's no friction that's going to try to stop us an obstacle that's in our way when it comes to driving that car or sipping that coffee then we need to acknowledge and we need to realize and recognize that really what's the reason that we're able to achieve that because it's the it is the Divine spark in each of us what we're trusting within ourselves is the godliness with ourselves what we're trusting within ourselves is the way God expresses himself through us there's a kak there is the ability to live a life that there is nothing opposing me there is no Force there's no opposition there's no friction there's no tension there's no battling that is inside each and every one of us we have that capacity for that level of Serenity and of peacefulness and of Peace of Mind to know that whatever news and whatever people and whatever challenges that I'm able to not forfeit my sanity and my well-being and my relationships and my happiness that that voice of God is in me that it's planted in me I have the capacity to tap into a place and a world view and a lifestyle that there is nothing opposing me that there's no force that I have to overcome so you'll listen and you'll say to me that's nice in theory I tune in every Wednesday morning but that doesn't help me when the world feels like it's caving in that doesn't help me when I'm getting bad news that doesn't help me when I'm fearful of what will be that doesn't help me when I have to confront a reality that I really wish weren't so the choice is so the answer is no it's your choice it does apply that's when it most applies it is a choice that we make yesterday my family was was waiting for something and it was a little bit uh a little bit um anxiety ridden and I said everybody put your phone on airplane mode we're doing three minutes not everybody cooperated but that's part for the course but those who did we turned our phones on airplane mode sat and we closed our eyes and we did our 3 minutes of deep breathing of feeling of your muscle relax of Letting Go and letting God of saying okay and what's the scenario if it turns out like this and turns out like that and that's part of hashem's master plan and no matter what will be it's no problem we can navigate it because it's the way he wants it to be it's not a problem we got this we got this and I can't speak for the others but I'll tell you this the moment I put my phone back on when the three minute buzzer went off I felt like a different person that's all took was 3 minutes of some deep breaths that's all took was 3 minutes of Letting Go that's all took was 3 minutes of recalibrating and re-anchoring and resetting that's all it took sometimes we get to a place that we work ourselves up and we can't even see the truth or the clarity which is right in front of our eyes we have within ourselves the ability to live a life there is nothing opposing us there's nothing that could stop us because whatever it is even when it feels like an obstacle or a battle is what's meant to be so that battle that obstacle it's not there for us to stop us it's there to be a springboard for us you know if you're running and you see something in front of you you could it could look like an obstacle that's going to trip you up or you could see it as a trampoline that you're going to step on you're going to jump on it and it's going to propel you even higher and even further and even farther even faster so that's the choice that we have are the things that stand in our way obstacles or trampolines are they trying to block us or are they ready to launch us are they opportunities and invitations for growth to break through to realize a part of ourselves to roll with the punches to figure it out to get through it and to let go and Trust in hasm taking all the initiative and precautions that we need to are they obstacles that want to trip us up or are they trampolines that want to propel us up and the answer to that question is not anyone around us can provide not your spouse not your children not your teacher not your principal not your doctor not your lawyer not your there's nobody around you who could provide the answer to that question other than you you and me you and I we answer that question for ourselves will whatever life has thrown our way become an obstacle that trips us or a trampoline that propels us it's your choice it's your choice there are people who are capable of living lives of saying there's nothing there no there are no obstacles there's nothing ever that stands in my way and that is that is our mission that is our mission our other mission is to figure out what we're up to when we lost our place this nit this spark there is that Divine spark and it is delicious when you realize it when you tap into it when you express it when you let go and let God and you feel that calm that just rushes over you have you ever had to take okay sometimes there are examples or metaphors that come to my mind and even as I say them I debate the wisdom of sharing them and this is one of them but I'll tell you anyway have you ever had to take oxycotton or a um narcotic did you ever like have a root canal or did you ever got for bit of a surgery and you need to take a narcotic like an oxycotton legally prescribed for you you prescribed for you not someone else in your house and you're taking it legally and you're taking the amount you're supposed to be taking we all know that we have the pharmacy in our in our you know bathroom closet of all the medicines anyone was ever prescribed in case we need to tap into it but I don't endorse that or condone that of course anyway if you've ever had to take you ever had to take a perco set in oxycotton I don't know i' I've had to and I will tell you the feeling I have when I take it is 15 minutes after you swallow that pill there's this like warmth and calm that washes over you your head gets a little bit light your head brain starts to spin and there's like oo there's a reason people become addicted to it there's a reason people become attached to it because whatever anxiousness whatever tension whatever pain that you are enduring it gives you the ability to let it go and let it out and you're washed over with this sense of like a calm and a peace and a warmth and either you fall right asleep or you have insomnia from it different people react differently but it's a delicious feeling and this nit kadosha this spark of Holiness the ability to express that which within us to never feel to never feel there an obstacle there's nothing in my way right a moment ago I was battling and worried and fearful and trying to work it all out and I was sweating and my blood pressure was through the roof and my and then all a sudden I took my breaths and my three minutes and I woke up I I opened my eyes and now there's a warmth and a calm that washes over me that says no there's a master plan here and it's going to work out and it's good to go and I'm completely calm and Serene and I have nothing to worry about that is the it is The Godly spark and spirit that is found within the soul of everybody say of Schwarz that holy spark it's within us and we've all made contact with it we all know it's there you know what happens we mislabel it we misit it we think why am I so confident let's go back to our silly coffee example which now cold why am I so confident I can make my coffee drink it to my lips and go through the exercise of having a delicious cup of coffee safely and smoothly because I think I got this i got this no matter how clumsy no matter how uncoordinated un athletic I may be I got this I can put the pod in the machine I can put the butt press the button I can lift the cup I can enjoy the coffee I got this it's all about me I got this I I I I got this i got this so s of Schwarz you're partially right staying calm and not seeing making cup of coffee as a challenge as a battle as an obstacle that part you're right but who's the one who's got this it's not you but God you know when you find that out the day that God forbid God forbid your hand starts to shake and you can't successfully have that cup of coffee and bring it to your lips without spilling it all over your shirt God forbid God forbid the day that something goes wrong and the Machine breaks down and you're desperate for a cup of coffee but your faka fink a machine won't work that's the day when you realize I don't got this when I tore my achilles a couple years ago and I spent 6 months after surgery miserable with reabilitation I couldn't carry my cup of coffee from the carig to my desk or to the table cuz I was trying to balance on a knee scooter and if I had tried to do a cup of coffee trust me I would pay for it so you know when you realize I don't got this and it's not smooth sailing because of me it's only by the graciousness and goodness of God that go I even for a cup of coffee is when that ability is taken from you when the machine breaks down or when there's no more coffee and nobody replenish the cabinet pods or when or when God forbid your hand develops a tremble and you can't lift a cup to your lips or you're on a knee scooter because you had surgery and you can't carry it across a room that's when you realize that's when you so why do we have to wait for it why does it have to come to that can't we even when thank God we're healthy and we have the ability to make and sip a cup of coffee can't we recognize and realize and can't we say out loud with gratitude Hashem thank you for allowing me to have a cup of coffee cup of coffee you know when you realize how much you need that cup of coffee when that faster you have the massive migraine and by the time the fast is over all you want is a cup of coffee my kids know my refrain when the fast is ending and everybody's texting what they want for the break fast my kids know for many years now oh every every fast I write all I need is a cup of coffee and I could fast another day all I need is a cup of coffee the day you don't get your coffee I seem a little obsessed with coffee the day that you can't get your cup of coffee is when you've come to realize how much you need your coffee I'm giving this as a silly silly example but it's an example hopefully we can all relate to so we never think about the coffee if we think about it the reason we're confident about it is because we think I got this the more we think about it the more we should realize I don't got this and just like with the cup of coffee that I never think or worry about and the real reason is because I know that Hashem has it that is the same attitude and mentality we should bring to every other area of our life I don't need to think about it I don't need to worry about it I don't need to stress about it not because I got this but because Hashem has this so we're half right not stressing or worrying we're just wrong with why we're not stressing or worrying or who gets the credit the answer is not us the answer is Hashem it's the it is that Godly Divine spark and spirit oh I love this last line of our section here of Schwarz writes this so beautifully and so poetically inside us inside us is this Divine spark and divine spirit that faces No battles no obstacles no tension no friction but his smooth sailing is a Harmony and peace to the universe just like I take my cup of coffee so to I don't worry about anything else inside of us is that but what happens it's covered by layers layers of of blemished and stained and hardened life clothing spiritual clothing so to say so the NIT the Divine spirit and Spark it's inside of us the more that we can bring it to the surface the more that we can express it outwardly the more we can live this life but the deeper it is embedded the more layers there are that are covering it the less we have to access it when we need it and when we need it the most and so our Miss in our mandate the whole purpose The Motto or or statement of of living with auna on Wednesday mornings is peeling back the layers and revealing the Divine spark is coming together to work out and exercise and make that spark shine through burst through whatever is blocking it in our life whatever cynicism or sarcasm whatever people or thoughts whatever experiences that try to bury that spark deeper and deeper and we get together on Wednesday mornings but it's on each and every one of us every time we open the cter or the tum every time we put the phone on airplane mode and do our 3 minutes of deep breathing whatever it is for you meditation yoga going for a walk opening a safer or a sitter and recalibrating that Compass going back to neutral getting back to our anchor which is that Hashem is inside us and Hashem is all around and therefore there is nothing to be worried about that we can not live a life of of battle but there's a life of peace and Harmony because you take off the clothing that are disgusting repulsive that are dis blemished and soiled and we reveal within ourselves the Divine spark in spiritus that illuminates a truth and a trust a faith a strength that has no obstacles so every one of us can be a superhero you know if we just go into that phone booth and tear off our tear open our shirt your Superman and Superwoman every one of us we are we are superheroes that nothing can stop us that we have this super strength that we can employ and that super strength that we employ is realizing that we have no strength it's paradoxical the super strength that we employ when we go in the phone booth and tear open our shirt and reveal the big S Superman Superwoman is I don't have to worry about anything I'm not facing anything that can bring me down there are no battles challenges or obstacles whatever comes my way I will and I can deal with it and I don't have to worry because I have oh how timely also this was written several years ago but he says so now that this is like number 175 170 180 I don't remember what number of living withun now we can Define what is now that we're this far in and says Schwarz you know what it is the the beginning of working on faith the beginning of working on faith is not actually working on faith it's working on peeling back and removing the layers that are blocking our accessing the faith that we already have we have faith we don't worry about sipping the cup of coffee you don't worry about the brakes working in the car you don't worry about the medicine the food you picked up from the restaurant we are living with faith in our lives a gazillion times a day how many things have we done today that we have faith that what we were doing would work out and it was second nature we didn't worry about it so we already have faith in our lives in a million and one different ways what we need to do to work on on faith in him is not to introduce the concept of Faith but to remove the layers and the obstacles that are blocking us from expressing it towards him is removing and disrobing from the layers of disgusting repulsive soiled clothing that are covering and The Masks the masks that are masking that are covering that are hiding him from us he's there and we have faith we just need to link the two by removing that which is blocking so when you feel worried and and and Afraid go to the AR mlot go to the City of Refuge called the six Cities of Refuge and the six words of sh all you have to do is meditate close your eyes airplane mode 3 minutes of deep breathing is listen you yid listen you obstinate stubborn person Hashem hasem is your god andem is the whole universe is operating in harmony with him it's Oneness so therefore there's nothing to be afraid there's nothing to be afraid the same faith we show in so many other areas we can show that same sense of Faith here and when we do we have nothing to worry about and the life that we live your blood pressure will go down your pulse will go down your happiness will go up your envy your anger your arrogance your relationships will be richer and better the solution the answer is to be a superhero it's within us we're wearing the superhero uniform it's just under our clothing so disrobe of the layers of clothing of arrogance and reveal the superhero clothing of the one who puts their faith in Hashem wishing everyone a happy a healthy and a holy day if you're on YouTube please subscribe to our Channel join us tonight 900 p.m. we're going behind the beima with the great the amazingly motivational and inspirational Charlie Harari you don't want to miss at 9 o'clock tonight behind the beima wishing everyone a fantastic day