(Part 148): Overcome the Voice of Opposition

good morning and welcome back to living with amuna as we do our weekly uh study group or really our weekly support group to remind ourselves what really matters to realign and calibrate our priorities to refocus our mindfulness on expressions of gratitude and appreciation for the blessings of Our Lives to be able to come together and support one another in living a life that is the most reflective of the truth that there's a Creator An Almighty who not only created this world and put us in it but he put us in it for a purpose and he is lovingly and affectionately guiding Our Lives even when it feels he's nowhere to be found it's nevertheless him I want to thank our sponsors our generous sponsors for the whole year drors Ai and Bella Morgan laishas in memory of our dear beloved friend our rebbi and amuna and so much else Rabbi Dr Brian gab bar and I also thank our dear dear friend s Leslie Abid who sponsored this week in the next several weeks in honor of their children Joey and Marissa abidi abadi and their expected baby who should be well and healthy and give their family a tremendous amount ofas thank you so much we continue to plow through our learning of mar Schwarz the author of The Mish an essay he has on that the source of the ability to live a calm and confident and Serene life is all found in the knowledge and awareness that all the battles and all the struggles and all the external stuff that we go through that is only an illusion that we are in conflict and battle but if we're able to channel our innermost self our better self our best self then we would see the harmony of the universe then we would understand that everything comes together for a reason and that we'd be able to not necessarily be happy with all that life throws our way but we'd also not be rattled or frazzled by it because we'd understand that it comes here for a reason so we left off I shared the source sheets last week uh if you have that link we left off we're aware of the G records the following story that the great Rabbi saw one of his students who was afraid he said you must be a sinner I see that you're afraid I see that you have fear I see that you have anxiety so there's only one conclusion that I could reach and the conclusion I reach is you must have sin on your hand now again and I've said this a million times I'll say it a million more that word sin is not our word that's not our word that's a Catholic a Christian word I don't even know what the word sin means what is sin I have no idea we translate the word as Sin but it's an inaccurate translation I don't know what sin means that's not a Jewish idea the word means a missed opportunity throughout life we have in an endless array of choices that we make we are challenged with them almost from the moment we wake up in the morning and when we make the right choice we draw closer to the people around us or to Hashem then we've taken advantage of the opportunity a is a missed opportunity if I told you there's going to be a pandemic and Amazon's going to hit an alltime high and buy that stock now for some reason Tesla's going through the roof buy now if you didn't buy did you do a sin if you didn't buy you had a missed opportunity and you know what your punishment is watching everyone else enjoy the fruit of that stock of having it gone up and you missed that opportunity on the other hand if you took advantage of the opportunity the reward is that you took advantage of the opportunity and that in itself presents reward and that is our life with Hashem tah and mitzvos his expectations and his demands of us first of all they're for us not him when we miss that opportunity it's if my wife says you know it would mean the world to me if you did X Y or Z I could use some help or it would be meaningful to me it would mean the world to me if I say well that's nice but I don't really feel like doing it I don't have time to do it energy to do it I don't want to do it and I don't do it so that's a missed opportunity I missed the opportunity to express affection to express loyalty to express appreci ation and is there an external punishment it's no external punishment the punishment is the result namely that there's a sense of a feeling of distance or alienation that needs to be uh corrected and repaired now because I didn't take advantage I missed that opportunity on the other hand if I say sure I'd love to not only that I know you so well I did it even before you asked I know how much joy it would bring you then what's the reward not an external reward the reward is the feeling of closeness of connection that results in having taken advantage of the opportunity and not missed it so again I've said it so many times I know is a missed opportunity and within our religion within our philosophy within our theology gives us 613 opportunities 613 invitations to come close to him and we miss those opportunities that result in a feeling of distance alienation that result in a feeling of having compromised ourselves result in a feeling of not being our best selves and that also have a sense of course of accountability to them or we took advantage and we've drawn close and we've realized a better sense of ourselves so here the great Rabbi saw his student was afraid and he said the fact that you're so afraid the fact that you're riddled with fear and anxiety not the clinical anxiety which is a legitimate diagnosis that needs to be treated but the fact that you're riddled with just the general Jewish anxiety worry fear nervousness it shows me that you have that you've missed opportunities you see from this conversation this brief interaction that fear fear is the result the consequence of missed opportunities of mistakes that we make of miscalculations Schwarz the reason is these don't do a lot of help when you hold them in your hand see when a person interacts with their strengths with their talents With Their Blessings with the things that come to help them he's so joyful right you're so happy if you were so nervous and you were so afraid and how you're going to work something out you're studying for a final you have no idea what's going to be on the test what the teacher is going to ask if you really have a a real grasp of the material and someone comes to you and says Ah I took the class I know the teacher here's exactly what's on it let me help you punk all of a sudden you're so happy you have this instant sense of relief this instant sense of Joy you're suffering struggling with an ailment a pain an ache and someone says oh that's tennis elbow oh that's this oh oh I had that and here's what you do for it and you can get rid of it really quickly boom even before you heal even before you you gone through the therapy all of a sudden instant relief and happiness and an instant sense of sim of joy that there's something here to help me and I'm going to get through this and there's a plan and it's going to end well and it's going to make sense and when a person has the clarity that there's somebody who has my back there's somebody who knows there's somebody who's been there before there's somebody who has experienc there's somebody who's in control and they're on my side and they're going to help me that brings about a sense of happiness or joy whether it's when studying for a final or whether it's trying to get rid of an ache or a pain or whether it's any other thing in life but the opposite is also true when you see and you look up and you say oh my goodness I have so many things that I have to overcome I have so many obstacles and so many impediments to my happiness this pain and this ache and this Challenge and this is why it will never heal and this is why it will never get get better you ever get a cut in a place where a Band-Aid can never fit like between your fingers I don't know you say not only do I have the cut the paper cut it's in a place that a Band-Aid will never ever ever hold like the world is against me the cards are stacked against me there is no hope of this ever getting better and you just feel this sense of helplessness and hopelessness you feel the sense of opposition friction battling everything's trying to stop me everything's trying to hold me back who then you're filled with anxiousness and worry and fear and nervousness and doubt and uncertainty then you're F filled with then you're filled with hopelessness those are the two emotions those are the two ways that we interact with the world yes some see this in a very mystical way some see this in a very cabalistic way that the moment you make a mistake the moment you sin shouldn't have eaten that thing you shouldn't have said that thing you shouldn't have slept to that hour you shouldn't have gone to that place you shouldn't have looked at that thing you shouldn't have bought that thing you make a mistake a that all of a sudden through the Kate through the misdeed through the indiscretion you have given birth to you have bought this negative energy in the world you have given birth to this negative influence so some believe mystically that when you do a you've all of a sudden introduced this Force into the world and now that Force stands against you the force is the um opposition to you the force is the the force is the um what's it called not the defense attorney but the prosecutor that force is the prosecutor against you against you and you can't see it you can't see that Force against you but now there it's there in the background it's there in the shadows it's there constantly opposing you constantly confronting you constantly trying to drag you and bring you down constantly trying to D to distract you constantly trying to block you these are true so that perspective is true and I'll just tell you I think I I said it yesterday at the paral class I don't remember in our para if you're not listening to this para no it's a good V anyway in our paraa you have the story of the the Wayward woman the woman who has infidelity against her husband She's accused she's secluded herself with another man she's not related to and then she's tested whether in fact she violated his trust whether in fact she acted out against him and uh if she is innocent she's blessed which is in itself a question why should she be blessed after all after all she violated secluding herself I didn't talk about this yesterday why should she be blessed did that ever occur to any of you this woman was warned by her husband I see you hanging out I see you texting I see you chatting this guy listen don't seclude yourself with him it's a violation of yood If the vice president of United States could could be careful so can you so can we be careful because when people seclude themselves who have a a uh energy between them a connection it leads to bad things so don't put yourself in that situation and what does she do she secludes herself and two witnesses come and testify to him we saw your wife go into the room with this man lock the door behind them the shades were drawn the shades were closed they had absolute seclusion for x amount of time we have no idea what happened in that room maybe they played majan maybe they had AI maybe they were raising money for victims of covid or maybe something else happened we don't know all we know is they secluded themselves in that room so that man takes his wife they go to the base of M the Coen she drinks this water that tests her she of course comes out and says no I never did anything we were playing chess or he's trying to teach me for your birthday I'm making a surprise party he was helping me and uh nothing happened in there so he says well let's find out we're going to the bikash and let's find out and it turns out she drinks the water yesterday we spoke all about the ingredients in that water and why they're in her and she drinks that water and she's proven innocent so the Torah says o she's innocent she gets a great blessing she's going to experience tremendous fertility she's going to have children beautiful healthy Nas children like the abides that give them great great Nas beautiful children so you ever occur to you the question I understand she's innocent put your head down walk away you survived lucky you you secluded yourself you shouldn't have done it it was a terrible decision it was poor judgment you secluded yourself with this man you survived it it turns out you didn't act out and the water validated that Get Out Alive just go home put your head down start the therapy with your husband rebuild your life what kind of braa why does she get a Braha she gets a br a blessing didn't she still do something wrong by secluding herself so I think it's the leahan who says the following I think it's him he says you see a very powerful lesson from this story and from this law and the lesson is yes she secluded herself she did something wrong but she could have done more wrong and she didn't she was alone and it invited and provided an opportunity to do something even more extreme even more dras and she didn't do it and you know Hashem appreciates and loves Hashem Longs for even the small gestures for overcoming so a person spoke lanara for 20 minutes but in the 21st minute had a Pang of guilt and said you know what never mind I'm not finishing the rest of the story or never mind let's shut it down I'm not going to tell you more would you say that person should be punished only for the lanara Hashem gives them a reward for having shut it down in the 21st minute somebody looks at things on the internet they shouldn't be looking at they spend an an hour surfing things they shouldn't be seeing but you know what in the 61st minute in the second hour they say this isn't me I'm better than that I'm capable of more this is beneath me and they shut it down they disconnect they don't act out K says I cherish that that effort and that gesture and that love don't think that essentially what the law is teaching us is you know don't think I've already contaminated myself so badly I've already acted in such a negative way ah I might as well continue I might as well go all the way I might as well violate and forfeit myself even more no to whatever degree you've made those mistakes stop yourself then because whatever you hold back as of now is still of inestimable value to Hashem still means the world to him still makes the most difference he's watching and he cares and he's involved in our lives and shut it down and even after we failed you fall down you get back up even after you fall so the says thead the righteous falls seven times in gets back up the H Jo nuk sings it check out the song on YouTube afterwards you fall down you get back up he quotes why does it Sayad it should be thead fall seven times and the answer of says is you're not called aad till you've Fallen seven times and when you get back up you're not called a sadic if you never fell you didn't break your diet you didn't gossip you didn't look at the wrong thing you didn't say the wrong thing you go to the wrong place you didn't sleep in a little late you didn't fail to make the BR you didn't lose your cool and your anger you didn't feel envious you feel arrogant there is noad there is no person who's never failed when you fall then you're the sadic because you have the courage and the bravery and the energy and the resiliency to get back up you fall down you get back up you fall down and you get back up the S does it seven times and so do and so do we if you fall down you get back up so that's the story Hashem says she fell down she went into a room she locked the door it was a mistake it's wrong the going to need some therapy they're going to have to figure that out she shouldn't have even done that she has to ask herself what went wrong why did I allow myself to be put myself in that compromise situation but you know what once she was in that room she had the inner fortitude and strength the tenacity not to do anything more not to compound it with another mistake and for that Hashem says beautiful I love it you fell down you got back up I'm going to reward you for the getting back up and that's why when she's proven to be innocent she gets this great blessing of fertility she gets this great blessing in her life and that's the blessing we get S of Schwarz is saying the following oh come back to why did I get into this because after the story of the S what if she was guilty what if she was you can get you know Whiplash if you come to one of my sheum from trying to you know get back from the detour to wherever we were going so stick with me stay with me so what happens the S what if she wasn't innocent she drinks the she drinks this water and it turns out she wasn't innocent she didn't only lock herself in that room she didn't only seclude herself but she also acted out she violated her husband's trust she went all the way she drinks that water and what happens so the gamarra expands on the pum of the Torah and tells us she dies a graphic horrific heinous death she dies a terrible terrible death and then the next section on our par was the nazer the nazer says Whoa yikes reads that story gets that headline gets that alert on his phone so drank the water exploded everywhere died gruesome what a terrible death what should that individual do man or woman a man or a woman can become a nazer immediately ya they should say whoa that's what happens when you drink in excess that's what happens when you party and flirt that's what happens when you present yourself in a way that's not only attractive but attracting I got to be ya that person becomes a na that person pledges to live a life a more elevated life a different life so R asks I don't understand this person man or woman saw the S and saw what happened if you make the terrible mistake what happens there's a consequence so when you see her die isn't that enough to motivate you not to walk in her way seeing her demise her death seeing her undignified end isn't that enough to make you say whoa I don't want to ever seclude myself put myself in that moment I don't want to give into that Temptation I don't want that to happen to me why do you have to go above and beyond to now say I'm going to take a nether I'm going to take a vow no more wine no more grape products I'm not cutting my hair I'm not having contact with death why do you have to go in the opposite extreme why do you have to actually take action Rola has a brilliant and critically important insight and he says the following listen carefully this is what R Schwarz was telling us he says because you know when you were a kid you read about you learned OFA that there are people who can practice infidelity you heard about that the there's such a law for such a person who wasn't faithful in their marriage but then you lived your life and you said that's just Theory that's a nice idea nobody I know could ever do that I'm sure nobody ever tried that I'm sure that never really happened in real life I'm sure I would never do that no one would ever do that that can't ever be done that never really happened and then all of a sudden you see the headline you see the picture you knew the woman it was your neighbor and now you say whoa PE people do that that can actually happen someone follows through on that thought and that Temptation on that desire and all of a sudden now it becomes a reality in your head it went from the realm of theory to possibility it went from the realm of on the books to life and in practice and now you need to do something to overcome and to combat that new level of Temptation that you face because you know it's a possibility you know there are people who've done it you know it's a reality and that elevates the the level of Temptation that it presents so that's what of Schwarz is saying here you know once you've done that thing you know let's say I'll give you the example in in the world of food right not religion so you're in a healthy way you've lost a bunch of weight you're feeling really good and and just one day you you just gave in you didn't have what it took so you ate the entire bag of potato chips you couldn't help it you ate the whole bag of the kettle crunch Cape Cod delicious potato chips you gave in and you made it through the entire bag of Trader Joe's corn chips start to end you cracked open the bag and you made it to the end of the bag you were licking the bag on the inside all the way so what happens here's the danger the danger is not that you had a bad day you had a b day you fall down you get back up Joey Nukem taught us you fall down you get back up fact that you had a bad day everybody could have a bad day that's okay here's the problem here's the problem when you get on the scale the next morning and you say I didn't gain back all the way just CU I had some corn chips nothing terrible happened I didn't have a heart attack my cholesterol didn't double the scale didn't go up by uh 10 PBS now you're in trouble now you're in trouble because you say you know that those corn chips those potato chips they were like poison to me I'd never put them in my system I would never contaminate myself with them why would I ever eat something of no nutritional value I have no temptation no desire here you've been good for 3 months and you're feeling great and looking great and measuring as being great because you've declared their poison you've declared open War on on the potato chips on the I'm speaking of course in theory and about my neighbor on the on the potato chips and on the corn chips but now the danger is you made a mistake you ate the whole bag that's what R Schwarz is saying you have given birth you have created a Mal ofala you've created an angel of Destruction and then the angel of Destruction is the next bag of potato chips that's still in the cubby because someone who doesn't love you for some reason keeps buying them or you don't love yourself and you keep buying them and and that Malala the Malala is now I know I think I can eat that and it's not going to destroy me so in the back of your mind you're starting to fight the battle all over again from the beginning you had done so well you thought you conquered it you done you had suffocated and suppressed that voice and all of a sudden it's got a microphone and a megaphone and it is yelling at you you ah you tried me nothing so bad happened you didn't gain so much weight it's a that you have created you have renewed its sense of ability to battle you you're back in the battle you're back in the fight just when you thought you had gone on so what does it mean you did a you made a mistake you made a mistake you can make a mistake in religion in chabas and kasas and daving and business ethics and gossip you can make a mistake in religion you can make a mistake in health and wellness you can make a mistake in interpersonal relationships you made a mistake the danger of the mistake is not only the mistake and its uni particular Consequence the danger of the mistake is that it also now is a force to be reckoned with that you now also have a level of familiarity with it a level of comfort with it a level of connection to it and a level of belief that maybe it's not so bad our rabis very brilliantly said said you know the first time that you do an AA you feel horribly guilty and ashamed and it's terrible the second time you feel a little guess less guilty and ashamed and by the third time you've convinced yourself it's a Mitzvah no I didn't eat the fast day we came was coming up in three months so I need the potato chips for the energy to give the Amun and it's really a Mitzvah there was nothing else to eat and Hashem would want me to eat that because he wants my pleasure after all and I should re War myself because I learned a little extra today and all of a sudden by the third bag of potato chips you've turned it not only have you not done something terribly wrong you've actually now in your mind rationalized why it's a Mitzvah you know the word rationalize the emology of the word rationalize where it comes from rationalize is that you tell yourself rational lies you tell yourself lies they're rational lies they make sense if they didn't make sense you wouldn't believe them you rationalize you tell yourself rational lies this is my group therapy by the way about my eating habits I want to thank you for joining me this morning check is in the mail to each and every one of you just joking so the Mal so whether it's an interpersonal relationships or health or Wellness or whatever area and Arena of your life the mistake is not only the particular that you did but it's now the birth of the angel of Destruction that you've created the voice in your mind the energy in the air the new level of opposition that you have to confront and overcome there's a formidable opponent that you now have to face again they they they create and they give birth to a a world view that there's something which is opposing us and now you're like living in this world of opposition again so what did it so in other words here I'm eating well and I'm exercising but then one day I did a I couldn't help it it was 1:00 in the morning I just finished the work I needed to do I was ravenously hungry my energy to fight was lower than I gave in I ate the entire bag of potato chips so I was living in a world that I wasn't confronting uh opposition but now the next day I woke up and not only do I have to live with the I made the mistake I made of eating the bag of potato chips now the next bag of potato chips is lurking and you know what else is lurking says you don't have to get on the treadmill or the pelaton or go for that walk around the circle once you're already a loser o for each potato chips what are you going to exercise you know you hate the exercise anyway you know you're only happy when it's over and you feel proud that it's done you don't really enjoy it so once you're already eating the potato chips and you know what you didn't gain so much weight so you skip a day of exercise it looks like it could rain and who really wants to be doing it so let it go so let it go so now the that you made the mistake that you made he you made a mistake you ate a whole bag of potato chips you feel pretty guilty pretty lousy about yourself and you may not feel pretty you may feel pretty nauseous at the same time so a you have the the mistake that you made B you've created this Mal ofal that now is trying to get you to eat the wrong thing again but now the Mal ofal has really expanded his portfolio the Mal ofala is not only trying to get you to eat the wrong things this Mal ofal is also convincing you to drop the exercise too so by making the through the one mistake you made you gave birth to an entire team of of opponents right you were running unopposed you were running unopposed you were good to go you had worked hard you had eliminated the opposition you were in great shape you always knew an opponent could could arise against you but for the time being you were running opposed and then you made a mistake and not only do you face now one opponent you've created an entire team of opposition an entire team of opposition so what you see is and that's what the gamar was telling us in the story of the Tana who saw theal who ran into a student who was living with fear and afraid I'm afraid I'm going to eat the wrong thing say the wrong thing go to the wrong place do the wrong thing I'm afraid I'm afraid I'm afraid I'm afraid and he said you have so much fear I see that you've done a I see that you've made a mistake I see that you've made a mistake you see some somebody says n I'm not exercising so much I'm not so careful what I buy in the supermarket h i see you had a bad eating day I see you made a mistake I see you made a that mistake gives birth to and generates it is the source of a Feeling Again of opposition of battling of overcoming there are people who suffer a spiritual ailment so severe more than anxiety and fear there are we know all kinds of phobias there are people who can't go outside there are people who live with paranoia there are people who live with fear of heights fear of speaking fear of viruses fear of public places fear of social settings there are no shortage of phobias so at the root and in the therapy of so much of these phobias is a is a lack a failure of self-confidence a failure to believe in oneself a failure to have a confidence in who you are and what you're capable of a confidence and faith in the world and the people around you there is a a deficiency there's a virus in the system that makes you not believe in yourself and not believe in others and not believe in the world and that that manifests itself in a phobia and what's the therapy what's the antidote what's the response Serene calm reenter slowly build up your faith build up your confidence experience things which will establish your your trust and your and your um and your faith that you can live this way and there's truth to this more or less says R Schwarz but now he's going to go on and we'll pick up with this next week about all of this is only one view it's an external view but there's an internal view too the internal view so this notion that when I make a mistake I given birth to angels of Destruction to these energies of Destruction to these voices of opposition that now I've entered a battle and a struggle and attention this is all without my amuna glasses without my B Las surgery this is all when I think you know what the potato chips are out to get me Trader Joe's is out to get me the paton's out to get me the weather's out to get me the world's out to get me and I wake up in the morning with a sense that the world is out to get me and I just don't have what it takes to fight anymore I just can't fight anymore anymore I just don't have what it takes and there are many of us who feel that way who feel that way in this quarantine this pandemic and this distancing we feel that way because of this uncertainty it is just it's just draining us of our energy and our resolve and our faith because that's our external sense of selves and our external selves are having to answer emails all day that say why do you exclude the 65 plus why do you exclude this why have you not entered the shua why are we not dealing in this way why can't we do this yet why aren't you allowing the other thing or you're crazy that you started the and you know what at some point I can't fight anymore I have no energy I have no energy but that's the that's the weak part of ourselves that's the external part of ourselves that sees the world as us and them that sees the world as battle and fighting if you live with B which we'll get back to next week if you live with that inner voice that Sim that sees Harmony in the universe I meant to deal with these emails and these emails aren't against me and there is no conflict in confrontation and I'm simply an agent of Hashem what am I meant to be doing and how am I meant to do it and this is all from above and it's all from him and it's all making me better not only does that not drain my energy it energizes not only does that not make me sad or anxious it makes me happy we'll end where we began what if what if the there was someone who said to you oh I took that teacher I took that final I took this test spend 20 minutes with me I'll tell you everything you need to know you're going to ace it you're going to do great you're G to do great somebody says I live through a pandemic spend 20 minutes with me these emails are nothing you're going to be fine you're G to come out the other end it's all going to be good it's all for a reason that brings Sim so when you think you're abandoned and alone and isolated when you're worried and doubtful and uncertain when you feel the world's out to get you you're D you just can't anymore you have nothing left to fight but when you feel like there's someone who says I'm here to help you through it oh I had that paper cut oh I had that tennis elbow oh I took that final oh I live through what you're go I'm with you I'm with you I'm G to guide you and I've got your back and you're going to get through it and it's going to be great then not only are you not drained but you're re-energized oh yeah oh that's fantastic okay let's do it let's make it happen let's go then you're able to really make it happen and that's what a life of am is Hashem is by our side and Hashem is with us and we are absolutely ready to go so thank you for being with me this morning on this journey if you're watching on YouTube live feel free please to subscribe even if you're not please subscribe and everyone is invited this evening on uh 9:00 we have behind the Bea we have a great guest marll who is a amazing APAC student activist he's just graduated he's going to talk about he's going to talk about how an African-American got involved in pro-israel activism his feelings about the APAC conference being canceled and of course commenting on what's going on in the in the world today we're looking forward to that conversation it's at 9 o'clock tonight wishing everyone a day filled with amuna calm confidence love peace be happy healthy and holy