(Part 147): Going Back to the Garden

good morning and Boer to we are back together to learn how to live with amuna the purpose of our group which is much more than a sheer or a learning group it's really a uh it's really a self-help it's really a support group where we're supporting one another to live lives in which we see hasem in our life that's the topic of our studyes of Schwarz has been teaching us there two ways to live with God in it or with God out of it to see everything as being coordinated and orchestrated and from above or to see Our Lives as Randomness and chance and the difference will be whether we have meaning whether we have purpose whether we are alive or whether we're dead even while we're alive the righteous live through Amun so we come together to reinforce and to remind one another that throughout our day we should hear him and see him and feel him and have an awareness of him and be appreciative to him and so on I want to begin with appreciation to our sponsor for the living with amuna series for the entire year drors Avi and Bella Morgan thank you so much for your generosity in memory of our dear friend Rabbi Dr Brian gab Ru n n who should continue to have an alyah he continues to live even after he's left this world and continues to inspire all of us who knew him every single day I also want to thank our sponsors this morning my dear friends s and Leslie abidi who are sponsoring in in honor of their children Joey and Marissa and please God Marissa is expecting that baby should be healthy and well and a source of tremendous to the abides to Joey and Marissa we should hear only the best of news and they should have only the best of things only Simas thank you for your generous sponsorship okay we are still working through this essay of R Schwarz the author of the B Mish and he has an essay called I Tred to share the link with you if you're in our amuna WhatsApp group or on the amuna email you got the link otherwise you can just listen for now you can actually find this essay online it's available so he's been walking us through this attitude approach that what does it mean to have B what is a life of faith and trust it means a life of confidence and calmness if you're frazzled if you're chaotic if you're anxious if you're worried if you're hypocritical if you're envious if you're arrogant you don't have amuna amuna is not just in that moment you say I have faith in God I turn to God I DAV and I Shuckle a lot I DAV and I have a long that's not amuna amuna is I'm always calm I don't get frazzled I don't get bent out of shape I don't worry whatever happens is for a reason and it's by Design and certainly there's a way I hope it will all go down but even if it doesn't I know where it's from I know it's from above and I walk through my life with the confidence that I'm not in charge and I'm not in control and I'm not alone but I walk through my life with the confidence that by definition there's nothing opposing me there's nothing I have to overcome there's nothing I have to battle externally on the surface I'm battling from when I wake up till I fall asleep but internally when I harness my best self when I have that lasx surgery and I see the world through the proper lens then I see God absolutely absolutely everywhere and we'll come back to that more in a moment so he's up to the section the alar of n one of the great mus leaders the um the founder of the musim movement of is salant had several Primary students and they broke up into three divisions three approaches towards muser towards personal growth character development and they were slabodka naric and kelm one focused on the greatness of man you know we're just beneath an angel we're capable of such greatness it's beneath us to misbehave and taught us that we can become great by focusing on the Godless ofam on our greatness and the other Focus not on the greatness of man Godless butless Adam do you know you think you're great you're a garnished you're worthless you're going to be warm food you're a nothing you're just above an ant you're your Mish on nothing and by focusing on how temporary our lives are how unworthy we are how what failures we are capable of that will motivate different schools of thought who was right it's not a matter of who is Right different things appeal to different people and different times it speaks to different parts of who we are and the truth is we need a mix of both sometimes when you're feeling down in the dumps you need to be reminded of Godless Adam you're great you're capable of greatness do you know who you are you're royalty you're a prince you're a princess you're a child of God do you know who you are and what you're capable do you know what you carry inside yourself do you know how much he loves you and cares about you and is guiding everything in you and sometimes you walk around and you think I'm a Child of God I'm royalty I'm all that you have to be reminded you're a garnished your future warm food you're a nothing your pathetic o you're nothing so depending on different moments and different times in our lives different schools of thought and different approaches of mus will speak to us so the alar of n he worked hard on this quality of of trust of faith of living life with a level of confidence and calmness from the writings of his students comes out that his belief the Alor of n felt the lifelong Pursuit and the lifelong effort to live with faith and trust is a lifelong journey of trying to get back to the status of of Adam before the sin that expelled him out of the ghen he said I want to explore if schwar says unpack what that means what does it mean that our whole lives we're trying to go back to the Garden we're trying to go back and break back into the Garden of Eden to ganen we want to get back to the level the status of AD marish of Adam before he made that fateful mistake that changed the course of all Humanity tells us there was a time that was to deposit Adam in ganeden God created a world six days of creation and the the time came to deposit Adam Adam inside the garden as it says God deposited him he rested him Adam was able to find calmness and Solace and comfort in the garden there was a time he entered the garden and then the time came to leave the garden when God expelled him to have entered the garden that was part of the master plan that all happened as part of creation the sixth God creates man and he deposits him in the garden and he says this is your natural habitat this is where you belong this is why I created this world is for you to live here in this way in it told us so what happened where did it go wrong just to understand what was the lifestyle in Garden Aiden you know when many many people picture G Aiden they picture Bon Florida palm trees and lakes and canals and water sources and a cool breeze and a beautiful blue sky and and sipping a pina colada by lying next to the pool when they picture their ghen they're picturing not necessarily the heat and humidity of this time of year but they're picturing our community baton so what do we picture what's our Gan aen what is ganen look like an unlimited schorg whatever Foods you want and any amount you want what did Gan Aiden look like so the answer is Gan Aiden was a place of purity of Holiness it was a place where you saw God everywhere and you felt his presence and you felt drawn and connected to him he could do no wrong and you could do no wrong to him it was a place where wasn't a struggle and there wasn't a battle and there weren't choices to be made the evil urge or instinct or Temptation that appetite was not represented internally within yourself it's a very beautiful description of Hersh has of why and right after they're expelled from ganeden they find themselves on the outside all of a sudden what's their very very first reaction they turned to one another they said did you feel that you feel that Cool Breeze why do they feel a cool breeze because the Torah tells us their nakedness they were unclothed they walked around in G aen without any clothing and all of a sudden they're outside the G they say did you feel that breeze what's going on I just realized I'm naked and they cover up with a sense of Shame a sense of embarrassment and God fashion for them Divine clothing God was the original designer and he gives them clothing in order to cover up and refers says what's going on in the story why didn't they realize they were naked when they were in the garden and why is the first thing they realize they're naked when they're outside the garden and why did they not need to cover up when they were there and all of a sudden they and we need to cover up when we're on the outside and he writes so beautifully that adish and Adam and Eve in the garden the notion of a struggle the notion of battle the notion of Temptation urge appetite desire it was all external to the self it was all represented in the Nash in the snake Anda walked through the garden and all they saw and all they felt was God they were connected to him and they wanted to meet his expectations of them they loved him and they felt God's love of them and there were no choices there was no battle there was no difficulty there was no temptation there were no obstacles there was nothing to overcome but the moment they gave into that Yar the moment they they missed that opportunity of living that life permanently the moment they listen to the they absorbed that voice it became internal so the Mish tells us do you know that Adam and walked around the Garden of Eden they walked around naked and not only did they eat in front of one another and the animal world but they even procreated in front of the animal world because that act had no shame to it that act was no less natural than eating or drinking something that we have no shame or hesitation to do in front of one another so what happened what changed the moment that they internalized Temptation appetite desire the moment that they listened to the snake and the voice of the snake became a permanent part of their own struggle they all of a sudden realized what is the greatest battle what is the greatest struggle Freud wasn't wrong the ID the ego the sexual Temptation promiscuity continues to be a challenge in a battle we're learning about it in mam we just covered that section in nus in chapter 11 on Wednesday mornings right before this year so all of a sudden they realize wow we're naked and we better cover up and there's certain acts that are meant to be done in private the acts that the area of our greatest Temptation and could be of the greatest infidelity and downfall are meant to be are meant to be uh we had to have discipline over them and there's desire there we have to have shame we have to do it with the right person the right time the right place we have to wear clothing in order to cover up not out of prudishness but out of pride of who we are and what we're reserving for the right circumstance so the lifestyle in ganeden was God is everywhere and I feel drawn to him and I'm not battling there are no obstacles there's nothing I have to face but the moment they did that the moment they made that faithful mistake they listened to the snake they should have repelled the snake and they should have rejected the snake and they should have told the snake what are you talking about God asked us one thing one thing eat enjoy es M Kinder just don't touch this don't eat this tree one thing but they couldn't do it they give into that appetite and we suffer the consequence until this very day and that's what the M says Adam was placed in the garden and then Adam was expelled from the garden and you know what our life is our life is a journey to try to get back into that Garden to get back to that place where Temptation desire where obstacle and battling are not part of our daily life to get back to that place where we have one objective to live virtuous righteous meaningful beautiful lives to repair God's world to interact with people in a holy way and to lift their spirits to make the world a better place to fulfill his will to feel his love and to love him back we want to get back to that place that's what is all about and what is what is the biggest difference for Adam and for us before the before that mistake man did not have to express or exert effort wouldn't have to take initiative by man I mean generic man Adam and Eve Adam didn't have to work to bring home a paycheck so that kava could shop at Neiman Marcus and Bloomingdales and Macy's or whatever is going to be left and not in bankruptcy when this is over kava could shop to her heart's desire there were no limits on her credit card Adam didn't have to work hard to draw an income in order to be able to cover it to pay for it didn't have to buy the the ingredients and spend all in the kitchen to cook dinner for her and Adam and their whole Animal Kingdom but rather everything was prepared God provided everything it's like a cola life in ganeden it was all covered from God it was all provided from above and they blew it they wasted that chance and instead of living a life of bliss and joy and happiness and satisfaction of calm and confidence of being provided for seeing Hashem everywhere and having one job to feel and bask in his closeness and to be close to him they made that mistake and what was the consequence his effort in the Garden of Eden the Angels were running the all you can eat barbecue and the Angels were tending the bar and mixing the drinks that's what the med says it's pretty much like a pesak program basically Ganan was this unlimited pesak program you went from theor to the or you can eat barbecue to the Tea Room to The Nightlife only nobody had to work to pay for it it was covered and it was open and available to all the unlimited bar so each one suffered a consequence you know what procreation would have been pleasurable easy pregnant there's no gestation period of nine months you get you have that baby there's no pain just Joy done instead now the epidural I always joke you know when you got her epidural when the second line came back on the pregnancy test that's when she asked for the epidural I'm just joking she pushed out a lot of babies and did it with great with great uh strength and beauty and Grace so the woman woman's punishment was I don't know if she's listening or not but I'm in trouble woman's punishment was that now childbirth became painful man's punishment was instead of having an unlimited credit card an unlimited debit card oh she is listening an unlimited debit card uh man's punishment was he now had to work the snake's punishment of course was he now would uh travel around on his belly so we're continue to suffer you see our life in the garden was the ultimate expression of a life of to see God everywhere to feel his presence everywhere to never battle to never confront to never have tension to never need to overcome every everything is his will and everything was provided from above and all there is is to feel close to him and what happened after that mistake and after we were expelled now our life becomes filled with battle obstacle challenge now our life is defined by the need to unmask him to discover him to try to feel Coast from him even when he feels like he's hiding our mission is to get back to the Garden our mission is to go back to find Hashem to the status and to the identity of before before that mistake Adam didn't battle there were no challenges he woke up every day and there were no can you believe what's happening at work could you believe how hard it is to draw an income didn't have to work in order to have children to cook dinner to do her own work in her own career everything was provided for from above everything came easy all there was was calmness and confidence all there was was seeing but now we live with this reality now we live with this consciousness of that everywhere I turn there's the possibility of going wrong in G you could do no wrong except for the one thing that they did wrong but other than that it should have been easy and now our lives are filled with everything I can go wrong how I wake up what do I eat what did I say what do I wear where do I go will there be traffic will there be an accident will this go easy will the business deal work out or is it a risk I shouldn't be taking having another child am I bring a child into this world a world that was worth bringing a child into and will that child God forbid posst challenges illness sickness physical mental emotional health where life is surrounded and riddled by challenges and our mission and our mandate is to peel back the challenges and to discover Hashem below to go back to the Garden to get back into the garden together to get back to a life that even though now we need to make effort even though now we need to take initiative even though now we face what feel like battles and challenges nevertheless to see him Hashem everywhere and to realize that he's as much a part of our Lives as he was and before that mistake the result of that mistake is that now we see battles now we see our own fragility and vulnerability our own mortality everywhere we turn there are thorns and thistles there are obstacles and challenges you think it was easy for Adam he became this farmer overnight he went from being on the ultimate pace of program with unlimited schores and buffets and and barbecues and t- rooms and all of a sudden now he's a farmer cast into the field and the field is filled with thorns and thistles and a beating sun and he's got to be able to make it produce he says God where are you when the ground is not providing where are you when I face pestilence and plague where are you if I'm worried where I'm going to harvest a crop all of a sudden now there are challenges and battles and obstacles doesn't come as easy and yet the mission Remains the Same which is to reveal and to uncover and to find Hashem everywhere we go to get back to that status to get back into the garden I'll just share with you I wrote my article for this week but I'll share it with you here also is that this is part of the holiday of shus we associate the holiday of sh with learning Torah something you do indoors with air conditioning under the comfort of a roof protecting us from the rain and you open our beautiful our beautiful Torah to are beautiful books and we and we study hashem's Torah indoors but the truth is shivu is meant to also be celebrated and experienced Outdoors it's not a coincidence that when God creates man Man's first discovery and interaction with God takes place where in a garden and when we receive the Torah God doesn't say pack into the convention center he doesn't say pack into the stadium we're Outdoors at a mountain and there's lightning and there's Thunder and there's grass and there's flowers and there's nature we see and we find Hashem in that natural world and among the natural phenomena and when we are attuned to it and connected with it when we are looking for it we can discover Hashem everywhere we can go back into the garden even after we've been expelled if we live with that level of mindfulness and Consciousness if we choose to see Hashem everywhere that we are and I wrote and it's true last night was our first M back at the sh and yesterday afternoon poured all day rain and and thunder and lightning and Linda we came to sh and there was a magnificent rainbow that went literally from one end we saw the entire rainbow to the other Rainbows are complicated area in Jewish thought and Jewish practice but there was a beautiful rainbow and that storm all afternoon in fact cleared the humidity in the air and if you went out last evening it was a beautiful night and there was a breeze and the cloud formation and the clouds had a magnificent orange reddish glow from the Setting Sun and as we dve in the birds were chirping and I stood there and I said to myself how badly I wish we were back inside how much I miss The KES and standing at a at a shender and looking out at our kahila without masks on their face how desperately I looked for it but you know what there was something special about being outside still hearing those birds chirping and seeing that sun set and feeling that Cool Breeze and saying Hashem you're everywhere you're you're enveloping me you're hugging me I feel I'm with you I'm back in the garden you're back with me you're back back everywhere and so receiving the Torah going back to the Garden going back to the mountain that's what har is we actually in the ideal form we in sh on shiv and we hear the Torah red from a platform from a beima which represents the mountain but even when we can't go back inside the sh we got to go back outside back to the mountain and see the flowers and the fauna and feel hashem's love through the nature and through his natural order it's what sh is about true sh is about the time that we receive the Torah but it's equally also about the holiday of harvesting the farmer who spent all that time and had to take that initiative and effort now reaps the fruit of his labor quite literally brings in his Bounty and says all this natural the tan from the Sun I have and the hard work the calluses on my hands they're all a testament to you God I see you through what I was able to grow what I was able to bring in what I was able to harvest it's what the it's also the holiday of the first fruit those first fruit that we find that we're bringing in why is this meaningful to me I Shar this with you not for your sympathy and I know that you would offer your heartfelt love to my family but because I want you to learn from someone extraordinary in my life that we lost my my first cousin my father's sister's daughter Missy Stein Melissa maybe some of you met her when she's been to all of our Simas here but uh she lost her 20year battle with cancer this week she was first diagnosed when she was 35 years old and she went through four bouts of cancer and she pledged at the first one that she would her children would grow up with their mother her five children and in fact her her youngest went off to college this year and this is when she lost that battle nearly 20 years of Relentless tenacious fighting and battling she was of extraordinary strength an amazingly remarkable woman um she was really special and and and really special to our family and one of the terrible casualties of this horrific pandemic is the inability we were supposed to go spend some time with her at the end of her life and to be able to say goodbye we couldn't do that obviously couldn't be at a funeral or pay a proper shiv call or even be together so I just share with you in in her memory but really because there a lesson to learn and it's a lesson for our living with amuna and it really fits in exactly because everything is orchestrated from above it fits in exactly with what we're learning in this section from ru Schwarz and I'll just tell you what one of her daughters gavi Gabriel said at her funeral it really moved me so deeply Missy's Boundless Energy and her her wild laughter I I knew all of that and I loved her and felt so close to her but this part I didn't know Gabi described that often they were late to school and they weren't late to school because Missy was lacked punctuality or promptness liy was very punctual very responsible why were they always late to school so Gabi said the following Amazing Story she said that my cousin Missy had a digital camera that she kept under the armrest of her car and invariably on the way to school she would see something out the windshield that would catch her eye a beautiful flower an animal a landscape there was something that would catch her eye and she couldn't help but she would literally pull over a running stream something others wouldn't notice some others would never even catch their eye but she would literally stop Gabi said literally stop to smell the roses she'd pull over get her camera get out of the car take it in have a moment to smell the roses see it captured on film and then Gabi and her siblings described she'd always let out this this um deep breath and Proclaim and they would get late to School almost every day CU their mother would see something worthy of taking a picture of something worthy of finding Hashem in in his beautiful world she lived in his garden the whole world was his garden and she saw him she saw him everywhere and I think that's the holiday of she was colos the testimony God describes at harini at Mount Si the whole nation saw the sounds which makes no sense you see sights and you hear sounds what does it mean to see the sounds sounds so one of the most beautiful explanations is that in that moment all of their senses were heightened they were living in high definition and full color and therefore they even saw the sounds there are people who live in black and white in monochrome there are people who going through life and they see nothing and there are people who are living in a high definition the whole world is jumping out of them the whole world is three diim four-dimensional it's jumping out at them and that was my cousin Missy everything she did she did with gusto every conversation was accompanied by sound effects and hand gestures and facial expressions she lived life with all of her senses and she therefore saw Hashem everywhere and that's this holiday of shus not only to be indoors but to go Outdoors to go back to the Garden whether literally or figuratively one of the beautiful things about this um Silver Linings if it's fair to say that in a pandemic is every chabas and every Yan since this broke out after per every chabas and every Yan and many days in between I've gone for a walk how many walks did I go on for the 20 years prior living Liv here in bokeh not many not many but every chabas and every yff and many days in between I've gone for walks and I take a different one of my children last night and I Y and I took a beautiful romantic walk to the mailbox and back but I've gone for a walk I've gone for walks every every shabbath and you know what you see when you go for a walk in bokeh and I'm sorry if you don't live here and I don't mean to be insensitive you walk around one of our magnificent lakes and you see iguanas and lizards and and you see mother ducks with these beautiful ducklings that we're watching grow up in front of our eyes and you can see frogs and fish literally in the water and you see flowers and you see it's extraordinary what you see it's extraordinary we can go back to the garden and we can see Hashem everywhere before our very eyes and we can either live lives where he's absent where he's invisible where we wonder where he is we can live lives of doubt and uncertainty we can live lives where we're battling everything is a battle or you could live life where you say wow stop and smell the roses I'm going back to the Garden no matter what I have to do externally no matter what I have to face or confront or overcome my cousin Missy spent literally half of her life fighting cancer going through treatments getting rid of it for only for it to come back again but she was never a victim she would never describe herself as having to fight or battle she felt privileged and blessed through the beautiful things in her lives it's a mindset it's a choice that we make and I know so many of you and even I struggle I don't want to make it sound like this is easy or comes easy for me I know we say well how can I there's doubt and there's uncertainty people are going through particularly challenging times and waiting God forbid for a poor result of a medical test or wondering how they're going to put food on their table or concerned about what will be it's not easy but be the pilot not the passenger be a thermostat not a thermometer every cliche I've thrown at you for the last many years that we've been learning we have a choice you're in control decide who you want to be decide who you want to be you want to be a victim do you want to be a passive spectator to your life or do you want to control those thoughts and those urges and those doubts do you want to go back to the Garden together do you want to walk around that garden and hear the birds chirp and see the animal life and see the Magnificent natural world and natural phenomena and feel the Cool Breeze against your face and the warmth of the sun on the back of your neck and say that is the biggest hug from above it's all Hashem no matter what I have to confront or face no matter what obstacles feel like they're in my way the truth is the world is operating in harmony it's his Universe he's the conductor he's in charge I see him everywhere and I'm grateful for what I have and I love him and I want to be close to him I want to get back to I want to get back to Gan I want to go back to the Garden together we'll do a little bit more you see in ganen what characterized the Garden of Eden What defined the Garden of Eden lifestyle was that there was no opposition there was nothing that had to be confronted from the moment Adam and kava woke up in the morning till they fell asleep at night everything came easy everything was simple everything was straightforward everything was clearly the way it was meant to be there were no obstacle there was no tension there was nothing that had to be faced because before a world of what is we've translated this so many times those who've been learning with me for many years what does the word mean if you look in t the word is used for example to shoot an arrow that misses its Target is a a doesn't mean a sin sin is a Christian term means a missed opportunity we have opportunities all around us to draw close to God the ducks that walk in your way could either be an obstacle or you could see Hashem that hot sun can either be a challenge or you could feel the raise of the sun is Hashem we have opportunities invitations all day every day and when we miss those invitations when we miss those opportunities to connect with them that's a he gives us 613 opportunities it's what we're going to celebrate tomorrow tomorrow night what we're going to celebrate Friday and shabas the giving of those 613 opportunities and invitations when we miss those chances that's a it's a missed opportunity to be close to him it was a missed opportunity when when we take advantage when we take advantage that's a Mitzvah that's what draws Us close and makes us feel connected so before we ever made any of those mistakes before we missed opportunities all we saw is Hashem everywhere but in the world in which we've made a mistake and mistakes now become in the realm of possibility and Temptation now we struggle to find him if a person violates God's will they ate excuse me forbidden food they transgressed the laws of shabas and yantv they were dishonest in their business business dealings so first of all we Face the consequence and the accountability of our mistake that's the real world we live in at school at work in our relationship with spouses and friends there are consequences and there's accountability for the mistakes that we make but the very fact that we've made that mistake also just changes who we are not only is it an act or a missed opportunity on the outside but it leaves a residue it changes who we are internally as well in other words now that voice that says you're allowed to ignore you can miss opportunities you can make mistakes that voice now becomes part of the inner dialogue that we go through all the time it's an inner dialogue that takes place on a regular basis so the fact that we made that mistake and we now undergo this inner dialogue and struggle within our own minds in our own head now changes us from smooth sailing and easy breezy to having to fight and to fight bitterly to do the right thing love we we leave the world where everything is operating in Harmony and we enter a world where we're battling from when we wake up until we fall asleep and what's the answer the antidote is a life of is to make that choice don't battle yes we have to face difficult moments difficult decisions difficult conversations difficult behaviors absolutely there are things that feel like they are our opponents and adversaries they are the obstacles and impediments there's no question they surround us but what is our attitude and approach towards them do we have to give into them do we choose to battle them or do we see Hashem behind them orchestrating it all from above the harmony of the universe going back to the garden and finding that connection that closeness that special relationship with Hashem that's the essence of this holiday that's the essence of the mission of our lives and that's why we do this together it's hard to do alone but together we can go back to the Garden together we can turn back time together we can go on this trip to see him everywhere to draw strength from one another and so I bless you and all of us that we should go back to to the Garden take that deep breath and say to walk around that that literal or figurative digital camera and take snap shots of Hashem everywhere and in all of Nature and the natural phenomena that we should be blessed with all the highest and holiest blessings a person can have good health and happiness and Holiness to have children to have nakas from children and grandchildren healthy grandchildren I want to bless all of you thank you for joining me and wish you a wonderful day don't forget behind the Bea tonight 9:00 p.m. special guest great sponsors myphoto.com you don't want to miss another amazing episode if you're watching on YouTube please subscribe to our Channel even if you're not feel free to subscribe I'm wishing everyone a great great day