Part 108: Nothing to Fear, But Not Fearing Hashem

okay good morning thank you to the die hards for showing up sorry we've had to uh be flexible the last couple of weeks so we concluded a piece in R we're doing a new piece in the same R is collection of his essays and the talks he gave on amuna means that a person lives with their amuna through amuna you're alive just the title of the book you could spend an hour on just those two words through amuna you're alive if you have auna you're alive if you have auna you can confront the face the day if you have auna you can make meaning make sense out of life if you have auna you have resiliency if you have amuna you have confidence if you have amuna you have peace and serenity if you have amuna you have everything and if you don't have amuna so you're lost that was the last piece your your your equilibrium is off and your life is off and you find yourself filled with anger and envy and jealousy and rage and and and you lack patience and so the is not for anyone else the reason that we gather each week to work on our Amun is not a gift to Hashem whether we believe in him or not his life is unchanged life his being his Essence his his is is unchanged he just is he doesn't need our amuna he doesn't need our amuna is for us we gain we transform the quality of our lives through the amuna that we can live with okay so we're starting a new piece Roy with we'll dedicate it for our friend it's worth clarifying says how is it that that living with faith it lifts a person it sets a person on a whole other level he says today and remember is writing this decades ago giving this over decades ago and already then all the more so now he says today today the world is consumed by issues of fear anxiety doubt this was then all the more so now the amount of prescription drugs and medications the amount of people in therapy the amount of levels of anxiety the amount of proliferation of mental illness you're not anybody if you don't have some you know you're the exception not the norm the whole world is on its head with this and there's a lot of reasons with have been offered research and science science has showed whether it's technology social media keeping up with others living other people's lives buta already identifies that one of the challenges of his day all the more so our day is how do we confront issues of anxiety of worry of fear and says and again I want to be very clear in saying we're not talking about clinical depression we're not talking about clinical anxiety that needs to be treated sometimes with medication with therapy not talking about that level we're talking about just general anxiety where you wouldn't be diagnosed with something you wouldn't need to be on a medication we're talking about a general sense of in life feeling uneasy in life feeling a sense of tension hey thank so Rola already then all the more so now is talkinging about the average person the every person is walking through life and they're just on eggshells they're on edge the says and we sing it in this is God Yeshua he's my salvation this is God he gets me through means trust Security in in Israel the word for security is it means I place my trust I am secure I find security and I will not fear so every every Saturday night when we sing this in havdalah now we should think about this much deeper meaning that what does it mean what do you mean can I have both can I trust in Hashem can I invest in Hashem and also be afraid also be neurotic also have doubt also have atile anxiety also have a little bit of fear why can't I have both I say oh I am the poster child of but at the same time I get nervous I get an anxious I worry what's going to be what's going to happen we're going to be late it won't work out someone will get sick it won't why can't they go together so the saying they don't go together if I put my trust in you then they don't go together they're oil and water then then then I'm not really trusting Why not see with you have absolutely nothing to fear not fear of heights and not fear of public speaking and not fear of going out in public and not fear of financially what will be not fear of retirement and not fear of health and not fear of doctors and not fear of with am we're going to unpack this in a moment you have absolutely nothing to fear and without am you have everything to be afraid of if there's no God there's no higher being there's no Creator there's no one intimately involved in our lives there's no meaning there's no purpose there's no order everything is random everything is chance that I don't like my chances I don't like my chances if you look at the statistics of how many people will get cancer which soon is going to be not the minority the majority it's not an if it's a when if you look at what the hurricane where's now entered hurricane season here in South Florida did it start yet I think we started June 1st okay okay we're starting hurricane season again but all you have to do is watch the Weather Channel the tornadoes in New Jersey yesterday and then you turn to the news stations and the whole world is imploding because there's no stable country in the world anymore Prime Minister of England has to resign because of brexit Israel has elections every month dorish everyone wants to in America they want to impeach the president so the most stable countries on the planet have no leadership and no stability and I tell who could get out of bed if you don't have auna how do you get out of bed how do you get out of bed this Tower is going to topple over this plane is going to crash this tornado is going to strike this government's going to implode this like how do you get out of bed this diagnosis is going to land this stock market's going to collapse this business is going to imp this relationship is going to fail how do you get out of bed if you have no amuna you have nothing but fear You Have Nothing But anxiety you have nothing but doubt you have nothing but worry you have nothing but concern and with amuna you jump out of bed and you say Hashem I don't know what this day is going to bring I have no idea but I know whatever it brings for is going to bring it for a reason whatever it brings is not going to be chance or happen stance whatever it brings is not going to be because I'm subject to Randomness whatever it brings is for a a reason now I know that that's much easier to say than to do when it brings tragedy when it brings unimaginable in comprehensible suffering I I understand I understand it's easier to say than to do to say Shem you're with me there's reason there's purpose I will say that the people I turn to to gain auna in those areas are when the people themselves who are suffering are the loudest most vocal proponents of having a you ride their coils you draw strength from there the famous story I think it's the blba jumped over the pit and the person said you know the story how I got over how'd you get over I grabbed your Co I grabbed your coat I grabbed on to you so we grab on to them what everyone anyone's going through and I say this not to make anyone feel guilty but you're not going through more than more in Judit went through the survivors who are alive the survivors we knew who are no longer with us they found a way to live with they found a way to put One Foot In Front Of Another they found a way not only to survive but to thrive they weren't debilitated they weren't par paralyzed they didn't give up they didn't walk away so ride their coils ride their coils I don't remember if I said it in this context but I met a couple months ago with somebody in recovery and they taught me that in the recovery community so one of the steps of the 12-step program is to submit to a higher power so and they allow you to Define who's your higher power whatever higher power means maybe you don't believe in God so higher power is some other manifestation of some other power so in the program when someone's first starting out and they can't get past that step because they say I don't believe so one of the one of the strategies of the program is that you say grab on to his higher power or her higher power your sponsor or someone else you know who has that higher power you say I just can't get pissed P that I don't know and I don't believe and I don't see it and it's trouble and I have theological philosophical challenges and questions and I don't know so they say I'll tell you what just to get past this step for now believe in his higher power believe in her higher power it doesn't have to be your higher power that's the B that's Martin juditz That's people who are the primary people going through a terrible thing who still say Hashem is awesome Hashem is great everything is for a reason this is whatever is meant to be we'll find a way through it as painful as it is as unbearably pain painful as it is by definition it's what's meant to be we'll get through it so coming again then if I believe in Hashem what do I have to worry about public speaking so if the speech stinks Hashem meant for it to stink what do I have to worry a gor phobia going public places hasem means for me to go to public place I don't have to worry about Heights I'm I'm standing on top of the skyscraper or I'm flying through the plane what do I have to I have no worries and no anxieties and no fears because whatever is going to happen good or bad is by desire is for a purpose is for a reason nothing to fear but if I'm if I'm consumed by fears then then it's it's a evidence that I don't really trust hem I don't really trust him I don't really trust him you ever have this with someone you know or love or is close to you in your family or a friend they ask you to do something you say you've got it and then they stay on top of you a million times asking and you say do you trust me or not like I got it I've told you I've got it if you believe me I've got it stop asking me about how the tables will get to the stop asking me about how whatever it I got it I told you I got it we're good and the fact that you keep bringing it up only makes me feel that you don't trust me so Hashem says the same thing if you're so worried about things you're not trusting me because if you trust me you'd let go and let God I've got it I've told you I've got it I've got your back I've got it it will happen the way it's meant to be I got it so means if if I'm afraid then I'm low of without it all you have is fear you could be afraid that your finances will collapse a person who's a Believer has a Serenity has a peace has a inner quiet now does it mean that if you're a Believer you don't have any problems if you have a you won't have infertility you won't have loneliness you won't have tragedy you won't have loss you won't have illness you won't have of course it doesn't mean that of course it doesn't mean that if you're alive you're you're in AAR just to be alive means that you're have challenges to be alive is to have challenges today Ain challenges there is no home that there's not a child in a therapy or on a medicine or who gives you cause to worry there is no home in which a relationship is perfect perfect and there are no moments there is no home or no life in which there's no ache or pain minor or God forbid major there is no home who no matter how secure financially it brings other problems being so secure financially with the family so to be alive is to have these challenges but if you want to have Serenity and peace within having the challenges if you want to have resiliency to overcome the challenges to live with the challenges then you let go and you let God and that's the REM the way puts it is you can replace many fears with one or you can ignore the one fear and then you're filled with many fear of Hashem it's either in which you have nothing else to fear you have fear in awe of Hashem you see Hashem is the pulling the puppet strings choreographing all of life in which I have nothing to fear or you deny hashem's role in your life and in which case there's a lot to worry about we'll get to because we'll get to in several weeks but the story of Moshe and The Rock Moshe and The Rock what happens I think about this my sister is here from Israel on Route 443 on her way from Mod toim there's a place on the highway you can pull over because there's a rock that puts out water people stop there's some spring inside a mountain and there's a crack in that rock and everyone stops with their Empty Bottle and fills it with this delicious fresh refreshing water everybody I've never stopped but I've never stopped stopped we drive by those who do stop for that refreshing water I always think about that because there's a rock and it's putting forth water it's putting forth water which by the way some of the of bring down is why it wouldn't have been such a miracle to hit the rock and water to come out because maybe you hit a spring you hit the rock on 443 on the way to and water came out the miracle would have been speaking to the Rock if you say rock give me water so you could say faucet turn on it's not impressive Seltzer machine turn on coffee make uh carig make me a cup of coffee so today with voice recognition even that's not a miracle like nobody would be impressed you told the rock make water it made water okay big deal impress me impress me but then you hit a rock and water comes out you can explain it you speak to a rock it shouldn't make water come out what happens Moshe instead of speaking to the rock hits the Rock and we know K says you're not going into Israel and we're not spending time now on it but that's a pretty harsh what we'd call a disproportional reaction and would condemn God for disproportional use of force what do you mean Moshe spoke hit the rockstead of speaking to it he dedicated his life he was M gave up his wife his children his everything and in one moment he he loses it all so the Torah tells us why you know why what went wrong when mosha hit instead of speaking what does that mean you didn't believe in me you failed to have you failed to have in me says the M what does that mean a person living with real has a skip in their step a smile on their face has an energy and an enthusiasm in life cuz nothing could go wrong and even when it goes as wrong as anything can go if that's what's meant to be that's what was by Design that is the best thing however it's the best thing so real bre when you cling to God when you stick with God when God's got your back then what are you worried about you got to skip in your step through clinging you trust in and what's the consequence what's the result you can't up up be filled overwhelmed with a sense of joy now what's the opposite of s if you're happy you can't get angry they don't go together happy people aren't angry people you can't in that moment you could sometimes be happy and sometimes be angry but in your moment of Happiness you're not going to get angry so you get incredible news and you're flying high and you're on top of the world you're experiencing a personal Sim so you say you know what that doesn't even bother me so and so spoke lard about me I'm not getting angry about it my kids are misbehaving any other time I'd go nuts at them but right now if you're filled with Sim in a moment of Joy there is no room for anger because those are opposite emotions Joy Sim comes from feeling everything is aligned everything is calibrated everything is for a reason everything has a design anger is this didn't go according to my plan this isn't how I want this to be happening people aren't falling in where I wanted them to fall in out of anger said listen up you rebellious no good o reject low life encourageable miserable people listen up you want me to get water out of this rock for you some of the commentators say where did he go wrong he said not should we bring water out we God looks at mosha says we who's we kimosabi we we're bringing water out of the rock some say that was moshe's problem Moshe who was the most humble of all men all of a sudden we not we we're bringing the water out and what happened he he hits the rock so here he is facing this encourageable miserable difficult ungrateful people and if he was he'd say so what I meant to be with these people I meant to be having them right now so what so what but he didn't for a moment he let his guard down and for a moment he gave into anger and for a moment he lost his cool and for a moment he yelled at them andem says that moment of anger was a moment which was a lapse of amuna and for Moser raenu a momentary lapse of amuna it was entirely proportional what happened to him for us a momentary lapse of Amun is every morning and every evening every Monk and every darn but for Moshe a lapse of amuna of a moment for Moshe was everything so how do you know he had momentary lapse of amuna says the mar because he got angry and if you could get angry it means you don't have amuna because if you have amuna right now it's meant to be that your kids left a mess in the middle of the floor they're not listening to you they're not getting dressed does that mean that you don't try to discipline them does that mean that you don't try to teach them and educate them and cultivate them no you do all those things but you don't get angry you don't get angry because anger is a pure emotion when you lose your cool when you get filled with anger when you yell when you rage it's self- sabotaging you ruin your relationship you ruin your physical mental health your physical health you ruin everything you ruin everything and most of you ruin relationship with Hemm says you're angry relax I this is by Design this is what's meant to be I was talking to a friend recently from the community Who Um this past Sunday was very proud of himself he made a whole plan and he got his kids all dressed in their swimwear and he lathered them up in Sunan whatever it's called lotion sunscreen thank you and he put him in the car and Hollywood boardwalk and there was a plan do I don't know what the activity was it was going to be whole thing it going be perfect whole plan got him all ready got up early got out on time whole plan he gets there he forgot it was Memorial Day weekend Oh yeah couldn't find parking couldn't get to the activity couldn't whatever and after circling and not parking and you can't get to activity and you can't stop and you can't he turned around to drive home to give up and he was filled with Incredible frustration a lot of frustrated kids are frustrated you're frustrated you're taking the frustration out by yelling at the kid by yelling at your spouse what How Could You Forget it was Memorial weekend what's the matter with you you know whole so we were talking and we decided to work on together and I'm now anything I'm working on I promote so that it holds me accountable to do it because now I've told everybody I do it so the three minutes for example that we did like a few shabes ago so we said what if we were to try the following strategy whenever we're frustrated to turn it into a a prayer take that moment of frustration and compose a prayer wow not just say God I accept this whatever the frustration is but to turn it into a prayer so for example for example maybe you weren't meant to park and go do the activity maybe if you parked into the activity God forbid a child was going to drown or you were going to hit another boat or there was going to be some major crisis or emergenc whatever reason it was meant that you weren't supposed to do the activity so what have you turn that turning around and frustrating drive home from miserable and I can't believe it and we got changed for nothing we put on suntown lotion for nothing we came we drove wasted time into thank you Hashem for not letting that work out because for whatever reason it wasn't meant to be and I'm so grateful and Hashem may I therefore blah blah blah blah blah to extract whatever lesson could be learned to turn it into a prayer for gratitude to turn it into a hope that may we have more success with whatever activity we do next whatever may this be the greatest frustration of my day of my life to turn moments of frustration into moments of authoring a of hisus of talking to hasem of talking in with him why did you not want that to work out why why was that not meant to be what am I meant to learn from it what am I meant to learn for next time what am I meant to learn from now why might it not have worked out and whatever reason thank you in other words let's say you had a let's say you had a time machine and you could fast forward what would have happened if you would have been able to do that activity and you would have seen something whether major or minor would have gone wrong and then you found out that somebody who knew that was going to happen stopped you from doing the activity would you not be overwhelmed with gratitude to that person for stopping you you'd be overwhelmed so we don't have the luxury of Ever Getting to find out why we wer meant to do that activity we will one day after 120 we'll find out but in the present in real time we don't get to find out why that frustration was there of why we couldn't do that activity we don't get to find out but we weren't meant to sometimes you do but for the most part you can't so we don't get to find out so we become frustrated but if we'd freeze the frame and analyze our frustration and think with an amuna I have I'm clinging to you so if someone says I got it they actually you to do something and you say you got it and now you're doing it in a different way they thought was best and they're starting to mutcher you and doubt you and challenge you and be frustrated by you you say I told you I got it trust me I'm doing it the best way trust me this is what's best way for it to work out trust me Hashem says trust me I know it's hard you can't see me or smell me or hear me or feel me or touch me I know it's hard but trust me trust me the word we've said many times the says means glue is hasem says stick to me stick with me stick with me the new kid in school so the friend who's been going to that school says just stick with me sit next to me in the cafeteria come to the class with me in the gym just stick with me you'll be fine start new work person you know at work just stick with me new person in the community just stick with me you'll be fine de hasem says just stick with me you'll be fine de attach yourself to me stick with me I got your back you'll be fine put your trust to me so when you drive there are no frustrations anymore the flight was delayed so it got canceled so there was traffic I know I'm not talking about terminal illness I know I'm not talking about it if you think that I'm going to sit here and be able to explain it to you in a satisfactory way then then you're unrealistic nobody in all of history has been able to and no one will be able to because we're finite beings there are things we can't understand and only when we submit to that can we then continue the conversation if we demand to have answers if we expect to understand then we think we're God we're competing with God the whole religion is submission faith is submission Faith begins with the premise he's infinite I'm finite he's omnipotent I'm limited he's all knowing and all capable and I'm not now we can start the conversation but if I expect M if I feel entitled I want an explanation I want the memo write up exactly what happened here I demand to know why bad things are happening to good people why painful things are happening to good people and I don't say this lightly with people here whove experienced horrific tragedy horrific tragedy the fact that you get out of bed in the morning let alone come to an Amun let alone DAV you're you're not my hero you're beyond a hero to me people in this room and others so I'm not I'm not minimizing and I don't mean to speak flippantly about that I'm simply saying there is a level of submission which is what religion is man as a famous footnote where he talks about that it's not really so compatible with our idea of religion today we want religion to be feel good kumay kumit spiritual to us the religion is supposed to be all that right I get goosebumps and I meditate and I transcend and I I mindfulness and spirituality and there isn't yeah gak to be a true I think the pendulum has swung very far rosha Feinstein famously said that we should stop telling our kids it's difficult to be a Jew cuz your kids will say you know what you're right I'm done I'm out who needs difficulty everything has to be convenient I turn in my car every 3 years and I use disposable plates and silverware and I upgrade my software or get a new phone every 3 minutes so who needs anything which doesn't come comfortably or conveniently so I'm out so mosha said you got to teach your children and we made up a whole song We Sing gak it is shabas is and Y is and everything ding is and is it's to be Israel we're so proud and it's so amazing and we so love it and I argue that the pendulum has gone too far in the other way so now a child's like but that's not so gmach so I'm done cleaning up's not gmak grading m is not gmak cleaning my room is not gmak getting up for D is not kmak having to be limited with my Kasha options is not kmak so I'm done I'm out right they used to be out because sh's designed to be a yid now they're out because we promised them to be a yid so the answer is we should stop making promises It's a combination of both sometimes the more he is the more Gish it is the harder it is the more effort it takes the more sacrifice you have to make the more rewarding it feels sometimes it's actually the combination of of the two but the point is religion genuine authentic true relationship with Hashem is not about Hashem When Everything feels good I love you spiritual it feels good it makes sense and we had an amazing sham Z this past Friday night I think one of the nicest if not the nicest I was ever at house was filled the singing the walls were shaking twice during the singing spontaneously everyone jumped up and locked arms and were dancing it was unbelievable it was Gish to be a yid so are is that that's that's religion that's religious life that's the expectation that's when I feel close to Hashem only Hashem says that's not a relationship just when we go tell my wife you know when I love you when we go away on vacation to celebrate our anniversary when we're at the resort when we're out for dinner when we're exchanging cards and Gifts oh no relationships take submission sometimes it's when I don't understand you when I can't your demands make no sense what you're asking of me is whatever you're mitering me and driving me crazy over what I told you I was going to take care of a million time when we want to do it so differently than I want to do it we see things so differently but I submit because I love you and I'm invested in this relationship and so therefore I submit myself to you and we have to navigate negotiate sometimes you submit to me I submit to you so relationship with hashm is like every other relationship in life if the whole relationship is predicated on every moment being the highs relationship is not going to last relationship is filled with highs and lows and it's where we are in the moments of what feel like lows that Define the totality of the relationship so submission we will not understand why painful things happen to good people this is very heavily on our minds obviously right now as a community and uh and it will continue to be it will always be because tragedies will happen a three-year-old grandchild of one of our members has a tumor in their eyes having major surgery today why would a three-year-old have a tumor and maybe lose sight in their eye why why so I could get stuck on why why where how God why I get stuck on that and then I don't get out of bed because then all the fears come all the anxieties come all the worries come all the anger comes all the challenges come so life stops or I could be like Martin juditz and not ask Lama why but LMA good now what I'm going to D in for that kid I'm going to take on an extra myth for that kid I'm going to hug my kids a little tighter I'm going to Value the gift of my sense of sight even more than I did I'm going to not Lama but Lama good terrible horrible can't understand it I am submitting to you God that somehow when these dots if I if a person could stand back and see how they all connect somehow there's a picture I trust you sayem I submit to you Hashem I'm clinging to you Hashem and I'm confident in you Hashem that somehow there this all makes sense so I will not get hung up on the why but I'm going to ask the what what am I meant to do now how can I be better now what can I learn from it now not Lama but Lama so a sense of entitlement wanting to understand we will never understand why bad things happen to good people there's not namun in the universe and any Rabbi who will tell you why the bad things happen is not a rabbi they're a heretic to me they're a heretic if someone tells you the Holocaust happened because of this or this children people with Autism this and miscarriage this is suicide that or breast cancer this there are rabbis like this they put out a lot of videos about me on the internet but they're not not only that they're not rabbis and not only are they not accurate representations of our tradition they're kof andum and why do I say that because now they think they're God because only God understands the why Hashem only from an infinite position can you answer the why the taller you are the farther you can see if you're short everything blocks you if you're a little taller you can see if you're tall you know if you're standing in Manan you can't see around the building but if you're taller than the skyscraper if you have a a drone or a satellite now you can see further Hashem is the tallest he sees the farthest he sees everything and if you are now going to claim to see equally far to Hashem and represent him you're a heretic you're competing with Hashem there's only one does one not you and he didn't whisper in your ear for you to put out videos to tell all of us why he's doing what he's doing so it's heresy it's absolute heresy it's K I don't care how many people are moved by it or jolted by it or inspired by it or change their life because of it it doesn't make it any more authentic or true or accurate or Genuine it's pure heresy so we have to submit and we have to stop feeling entitled and we will never understand that's what that's the core that's the prerequisite to religion religion is predicated on that our capacity to submit our capacity to give up feeling entitled and to recognize that bad things don't happen to good people painful things happen to good people and there's a world of difference good or bad that's not not for us to judge we don't have the scope painful things do if you were to walk in a room and you see a person with a knife stabbing someone you'd say that's a bad thing happening I know the person on the table good person what if the person with the knife was a surgeon and the individual on the table had an illness had a tumor that need to be cut out then you'd say wow that's a painful thing happening to a good person but that's not bad it's good so we don't know we live in the room where we see someone with a knife and we can't tell bad good is it a surgeon is it a terrorist we don't know we don't have the scope we don't have the perspective to be able to know so it's not bad things that happen to good people it's painful things happen to good people but back to Rola and his message and I know that you still yeah go ahead my question I I was at a class of yours last year and you were speaking about mosha um and why he didn't go into Israel oh and you spoke about the fact that it wasn't necessarily the rock or maybe I didn't understand it properly but it was rather that that he exhibited a lack of leadership was that a good class Mis understand it was that a good class no was always a great CL thank you so now the message then I there a lot of we had explored a lot of different reasons offered for why mosha didn't go in and I had suggested that it was an issue of when Hashem says you didn't speak to the rock you hit it he didn't care about the rock Moshe who Hashem first recruited to be a leader and mosha demed saying I don't speak well I can't speak I can't articulate I'm not eloquent I can't speak on behalf of the Jewish people it's not a coincidence said let's see 40 years later have you learned the power of speech and why is it that he needed the power of speech because speech is the bridge between the physical world and the spiritual world it's where we take the spiritual ideas and feelings and we bring them into the physical world mosha the mar says was so spiritual that he didn't couldn't operate in the physical world he was like like have a driver's license he couldn't be trusted behind the wheel his mind is so wherever certain people are in so lofty in such a place that they so hasem says ER is you know the midbar was a spiritual existence you didn't have to farm you didn't have to set up a police force an army a Judicial System well it was a Colo 40-year Colo Hashem says food's taken care of your apartment's taken care of your security is taken care of everything's taken care of so now we're going into and now is a land that their MIT it's the bridge between Heaven and Earth so m you want to be the leader in the place that's a bridge between Heaven and Earth have you learned the power of speech which is the bridge between Heaven and Earth mosha hits the rock instead of speaking to it he's basically told Moshe no told Hashem no I'm still so lofty so it's not a punishment that Moshe can't go into Israel it's a reality he's the correct leader for a desert generation he's not the correct leader for a a Israel generation that was the why did it take me an hour to say the class last time that's a good question I don't know I said it now in 2 minutes minutes okay anyway so back to this so Hashem says to mosha you had elapse in amuna where where did God where Moshe got up and declared there's no God mosha got up and taught the Big Bang or Evolution or whatever you think is contrary to God why does God say there's a lapse of amuna the answer is mosha got angry the person with amuna is happy and without amuna if you get angry it shows a lack of amuna if you have auna you have a skip in your step I know people I know people that have no money that big problems they have such auna you if you came out you'd thought they win the lottery I know people with money and good health you'd thought that they just got a terminal diagnosis right in other words a person's disposition and mindset and feeling often has nothing to do with actually their condition there are people with Oodles of money there are people with Oodles of good health with Oodles of Nas when their children but they're number 82 on the Forbes 400 they're not number one so they walk around forbis and miserable and angry and whatever you can have everything and you have nothing and you can have nothing you can have everything and what's the difference amuna it's amuna attitude of gratitude but gratitude to whom amuna so if you walk around with a sense of amuna I'm so grateful for what I have and I'm so appreciative that there's a rhyme and reason to everything that even whatever I'm going through I meant to be going through I'm leaning into that pain I meant to be going through this I'm translating my frustration into a into a prayer so then with this this happiness this Serenity this peace it doesn't mean there's Comfort or there's convenience amuna doesn't create comfort and convenience it creates Serenity and peace Serenity and peace and with no amuna you could have comfort and convenience you have no peace in your life that's a reality so therefore if I work on putting my trust in you and feeling I'm clinging to you I have nothing to be afraid of and if if I'm constantly debilitated by fear anxiety worry what will be so it's low of I I clearly don't trust you Hashem I'm sending Hashem a message I don't trust him if I'm worried all the time what I'm telling him is I don't trust him and I'll tell you it's miserable to feel you're not trusted if someone ask you to do something or you ask them to trust you and they don't it's a bad feeling so it doesn't feel good for ashm when we don't trust him and when we walk around afraid and nervous and anxious and worried we're telling him we don't trust him and when we let go and let God it means that even though sometimes you're going through something painful if you do it with trust in him we're able to live with a certain level of Serenity and peace okay a lot more to say about this and we will continue mem with this pieace next week