Part 106: Living Your Truths With Confidence and Pride

okay boov thank you for everyone's flexibility who's traveling yesterday our Amun this morning is generously sponsored byi or in memory of their beloved daughter mam es should continue to have a wonderful Aliyah and also our learning this morning is in honor of our dear friend mik yon Lea who's undergoing a significant surgery should have a complete speedy and painless and fast and fullu the surger go well and everything should go well and he should be back quickly and safely okay we're still in the middle of this piece by R and his a collection of a collection of talks given by RBA on the topic of we spent the last couple of weeks talking about this mishna peros that there are three character traits or behaviors that remove a person from the world and they are K Ando jealousy lust and the pursuit of Honor we we shared several interpretations the rambam says what's the world that removes you from the world of amuna to which from which r extrapolated that you see the default of a person's world the foundation of a person's world is living with amuna is to feel and to see Hashem is to be striving and to be aspiring and to be ambitious to live a life in which one has a closer relationship with hem and to live a life in which one is giving and which one is giving great pride and pleasure to Hashem that the world is not about us and what we could take from it the world is about him and what we can give to it and how we can be of service to him that doesn't mean we can't get pleasure because he wants us to have pleasure he created the world he created the world in order to derive pleasure from his world deriving pleasure from his world is how we're of service to him but it has to be the right type of pleasure not our definition of pleasure his definition of pleasure not a selfish pleasure but a selfless pleasure and he he designed us he created us so he knows what gives us pleasure and the greatest pleasure is not what we indulge in ourselves the greatest pleasure is when we share with others that's not a religious observation or a religious value that is a psychological truth there are countless countless studies when I say countless studies I mean Google it and you'll see I'm not making this up there are countless studies they gave money to two different groups some they said spend it on yourself some they said spend it on others not life-changing money a small amount of money and the group that spent it on others Drew more happiness from the money than the people who spent it on themselves right many of you look at me let me try it and you know I'm telling you it's not true but the many many studies talk about that real joy and real happiness comes from giving not from getting so it's not just that Hashem says live a life of sacrifice and service and give up what you want for others even if that were true we should jump we should say how high but it's not true Hashem says live that life not because of others only but because it's how you live the most meaningful and Rich life yourself so this is what we talked about living a life of amuna is how to avoid those three character traits if you are envious and jealous of others then there's no room for Hashem because if you have Hashem in your life you realize I have what I need die I have what I need if you're in the life where you're pursuing what you lost for you're always trying to satisfy your appetite for pleasure not necessarily calibrated with what with what Hashem defines as healthy pleasure then you're living life for you not living life for and lastly and most obviously if you're living a life of COV you're pursuing honor then there's not enough room for you and God in this world ego you're edging God out and so those three qualities are they they draw you out from the a world of amuna so it turns out that the greatest way to work on amuna is to work on humility to work on humility the wi it's not to study philosophy and to consider all the proofs of God's existence the greatest way to work on amuna is to live a life in which there's space so you can see him and then you won't have to work on amuna cuz he's right there in other words I don't have to work on believing that you're sitting in front of me I don't sit down here and I say okay before we begin just get my head straight there's some women they're sitting here I'm talking to people they're really here they're physical they're a lot I don't have to work on believing you're here why not because I see you cuz you're sitting right here I don't have to work on it so if you live your life with humility in such a way that there's space and room room for Hashem and then you see Hashem in the world you no longer have to work on it you're saving a lot of trouble and a lot of struggle so sometimes the people I don't know if this God and I got to work on it let me put you through the the Bible codes and this beginner and that workshop and this evidence and these proofs it's missing the point a person who's arrogant a person who's driven by Honor lust and envy all the proofs in the world will not convince them that there's a God because there's no space there's no room left for God but the opposite is also true say you know what let's not talk philosophy let's work on our character let's work on humility let's work on not being jealous let's work on not pursuing honor let's work on not satisfying our appetite let's go see the world come to Montana or the Grand Canyon come study science physics and chemistry come let's just live but a more humble life where we Tsum we've withdrawn ourselves we've made space and room now you don't have to convince the person anymore that there's a Hashem you don't have to convince them anymore than you have to convince them that you're standing in front of them at that moment because Hashem is right there he's so glaringly obvious okay so that brings us to the top of page page 51 the next point of R he says I want to add another idea the of the greatah there's a connection between faith and freedom a connection between faith I I've hit that age now I'm struggling with it the truth is the truth is I've been I've been wearing these glasses in private for several months but I decided I need to read in public also so I can't can't hide it anymore what could you do all right anyway I'm an old old man so the Mahar writes that there's a connection between between faith and freedom only a free person can actually grasp the concept of faith and this is what it means meaning if you are entirely enslaved to whatever the philosophy and the culture and the climate and the beliefs and the fads of the time then you're not necessarily going to have room for finding Hashem so if I subscribe to a world who it's in right now to say that you're sitting in front of me but you're not sitting in front of me I've read some articles and I've seen some videos and I've seen on social media post don't believe everyone sitting right in front of you is really there because maybe they're a mirage maybe you have been on a hallucinogen maybe they are a uh what's that called when you can project something it looks so real maybe they're a h H maybe they're hologram you're laughing but you could also picture that could easily become true right that you could subscribe I'm part of a group on the internet that we don't believe that people are real and so I don't really have to be M of you or consider you because I believe you're just a figment of my imagination you're not real right now it's 10 years ago you'd look at I would be crazy today you're like yeah I'm sure there's such a group already on the internet I'm sure there's several groups like that already on the internet right so so what would happen so if I'm a freeth thinker if I have some freedom and Independence and I'm a free thinker I say this is a group of sadly Disturbed people and they're twisted and they're fools and they're wrong and you are right here and it's good to know you I'm so happy we have this relationship but if I'm a person who can't think freely and can't think independently and I'm just simply I conform to what are the fads and the beliefs and what's in around me then I say okay I guess you're not really here I thought you were here you look like you're here but the internet tells me you're not here so I guess you're not here so in other words in order to have space for Faith you have to be capable of experiencing Freedom says RBA you have to live with a certain level of independent thinking you can't simply conform to everyone and everything around you you can't simply be the consequence of the result you can't be a composite of everything going on around you you have to be able to have freedom and think independently and think freely in order to be able to see what's in front of you all along I'll give you another example of it if you're a member of the scientific Community who says there is no design there is no order there's no first cause the world came into being through a big bang and through coincidence and there is no God and if you're part of the scientific Community where if you want to belong and you want to publish and you want to get ahead you need to subscribe to that belief you will be predisposed to that belief you will be biased towards that belief because it's in your own interest to have that belief but if you're able to think freely and you think in dependently and you're studying science then you'll see what's in front of you all along which is that God is the one behind all those details and minua and all of the science so faith and freedom there's an intricate connection between the two that you have to have the freedom to think and to see clearly to think and to see independently in order to discover what was under your nose really all along he has in footnote four on the bottom what the Mah how the Mah writes this the one who believes is the one who can't be subservient what does it mean to become a subservient and slave to another it means that you are connected with that outside of yourself and that happens to someone who's weak and vulnerable so if you've discovered truth within you then no one else can own that about you in other words if you have no truths in you and you don't have confidence in your own beliefs then anyone can own you this fed that group this philosophy this new style that new belie right if you if you can't think independently and you can't see truth and your beliefs don't come from inside of you then anyone can easily own you and manipulate you and get you to believe what they want but if your beliefs come from what you've discovered from the truths that are inside you and in front of you then you achieve real Freedom so you need freedom for amuna and you'rea for real Freedom says the mar it works both way freedom and Independence to see truth to see faith and Faith inside you to preserve your freedom from Simply being molded and shaped by the people and the things around you in earlier ations the Assumption the accepted position was that science is in conflict with religion even though in more recent Generations science has come to be to conform or be consistent with religion and in some cases people even see science as validating what religions told us all along it's still very hard to abandon that notion that um science is in conflict with religion the years of presenting like they're in Conflict leaves the indelible impression on us that it's hard to free ourselves from it's hard to accept that we don't have to believe everything we hear so we have to remain free and independent in order to believe and to serve Hashem without being influenced from the Greater Community from everyone and everything around us you know this was true RBA was writing this before there was an internet and Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and mass WhatsApp and text messaging and right so the values of others are being placed on us it's the volume and by volume I mean both the quantity and the decibal of which it's being cast Upon Us relentlessly is unprecedented it's overwhelming and you're left not knowing what to believe right I mean we are living in a generation of fake news and I'm not I don't mean that in the political sense and I'm not talking about any particular news Outlet I'm talking about the notion of fake news is that I've been a victim of fake news meaning anyone could write anything they want about you you have no and and they control the narrative so when you are a subscriber when you are a consumer of information how do you filter truth from false from what's valid and real from what's fake and made up so the answer is you need to be an independent thinker you need to have the freedom to research to analyze to draw conclusions to ask the right questions to know if what you're seeing is true and accurate and if you're a blind consumer of it then how many people texted me BB speech in knesset when the Rockets were falling which he never gave someone wrote it as the speech I wish that he would give but everyone got so excited this is the speech he just gave in knesset and maybe some of you know what I'm talking about right I had a dollar for every person what he was a very good writer yeah whoever wrote that right why did we all repost it because we wanted to believe it was given because it was written so well but that's exactly my point is that someone could write something that a prime minister said in his own knesset in his own Parliament about an ongoing war and everyone's like yeah that happened until someone said what let me check did that did that happen that's just one example and there there are countless every single day so Revol is writing and encouraging us that if we want to have faith and we need to have freedom and space to think and to analyze and to question if we want to see the truths that are in front of us all along then we can't be blinded by the bombardment and the barrage of the Rockets of fake news which are in our life and they're filling up our our phone and our laptop and our in box all day I can't tell you how many people forwarded me fake news all day every day they saw something it's true about about anything right so what what's the what's the result the consequence is that many people are walking around and they're the composite of whoever got a hold of them and molded and shaped them and manipulated them to be non-manipulated which is another word of saying to be free from manipulation is to have faith is to make space to think to analyze to draw our own conclusions it's getting more complicated they don't teach you they should be teaching in school should be a course how to be a consumer of information right it used to be how are you a consumer of information you needed to learn The Dewy decibel system that's how you became a consumer of information the do now you ask a dewy decibal system they look at you like you're from outer space that used to be how you consumed information but today you turn on a device and you're a consumer of information so how do you become a responsible consumer of information they're not teaching you that in middle school or high school they're teaching you how to manipulate the World by putting out what you want that's what they're teaching graphic design and web design and how to control manipulate and Market to the world so we're living in dangerous dangerous times Rola is writing this long before these dangerous times that there are people walking around and they you know I I was I was um at a rabic retreat this week for a couple of days and and uh the sort of featured speaker of this rabic retreat was R mosha Weinberger the r ish kodes he was here earlier this year it was fantastic sitting outside it was in the it was in Georgia and uh grateful to the OU and the sponsors who put it together enough Herman I don't not tell Herman when you're sitting outside and beautiful weather and 60 degrees and the sun and a breeze and rinberg is talking about how to be a Ben alyah and cem like it doesn't get better it was really really amazing so there was a whole session about being a Ben Aliyah how do you teach B Al how are you a Al which means how are you aspirational for spirituality how do you how do you crave more and make it happen to feel Hashem more in your life what are the obstacles and impediments how do we do it how do we teach it what's it all about really an amazing amazing session I'm sitting there and I'm on fire I'm Mish on fire I'm listening to him and I'm picturing my life and my family's life and as a r what I can do to implement it and I'm on fire the person sitting next to me says b so annoying those people who are like so into it they're so annoying people in our community who are like those those people that he's described so into it so and and he was like I'm sorry to say it he was like I'm mik in that moment because like I'm on fire he's like here's a bucket of cold water and I'm pouring it on your head pouring it on your head what he basically said was eh I'm like this is amazing this is a girl was like a sha Olive Seminary girl this he's amazing I love him he's so cute he's so amazing he's so right I'm on fire and he took a big bucket of cold water and splashed it right on my head still on what yeah the fire was so strong it couldn't be extinguished so so uh what rner would call the right we've spoken many times talks about the power of seeing Hashem in everything versus those who see Hashem in nothing right the which is the power of right I'm this is amazing and he's like so what what what happens when he says e so I was still feeling how amazing it was because it was in the middle of it being amazing that it withstood his eh but but a weaker me or if it would have been at the meal afterwards I would have said you know maybe it was a I thought it was so great but he thought it's eh and he's smart maybe it was eh so now I'm confused was it great was it or was it eh so how do I know so you have to have the confidence to say I could care less what you thought it was it was amazing I'm an independent thinker I experienced it personally I know what I heard and saw I know what it generated me to think and you know what e you it was amazing you're an e it was amazing it was amazing I'm just giving that as as an example because these things happen every day right that wasn't in other words what if I saw on a WhatsApp group he's like I I walked out I'm on fire I'm like going to burn everything down around me that's how I'm fire I am you know and then I see he posts on a group just went to the session everyone thought it was amazing but it was really e for the following reasons so now you I'd read that W Maybe I'm Wrong so that that's the power of the world that we're in and Revol is making such a critically important point and a critically important point for us to tell our children who we in our homes are trying to light them on fire and then they're going to go to the street and the Street could be literally the street and the street could literally could mean the the Great Highway of the internet they're going to go off to camp they're going to go to school they're going to have their friends who are going to be barraging them with messages that are the opposite we're saying Hashem is amazing and their friends are saying hasem is eh we're saying shabas is amazing and they're hearing messages it's we're saying mid and S and and is amazing so how do we teach them confidence and Independence to say I am a free thinker and the free gives me the space to have amuna and to see Hashem and to live on fire and you can take your s and and get lost make your own Retreat the air Retreat yeah you're saying news not people Skeptics become skeptical of what you're reading and what you're seeing and what you're doing then you become skeptical about everything and that's amazing Point questioning and the only thing it's real and you know if there's so much fake news there then this is also and that's when starts becoming much more challenging to get kids and adults also to buy into this it's a great Point that's why my father-in-law tells everyone he meets that Y is the one who writes all of my Dres and he's right he's right now you saw that you saw that happen so no 100% right in other words even if you don't walk away so let's say I walk away and I say no we're still amazing but it planted the seed of skepticism the seed of doubt the seed of cynicism which is what our generation's malady is cynicism skepticism doubt challenge everything's fake what's real what's proof so again Raa gave these Schoen many many years ago there was no internet there was no WhatsApp there was no um viral things didn't go viral because you were just with who you were with to go viral someone wrote e and put it on the Bolton Board of the Yeshiva like what what was how did it go viral you know you just came out of the shear they said the she you just came out I think it was eh and put it on the Bolton board they taped it to the lamp post like it didn't go viral from that so but today it goes viral so it's so critically important to preserve within our children and within ourselves and the way to preserve it within our children is for them to see it within ourselves that we have the confidence and the independence and the belief and the faith of what we see right in front of our noses and what we know to be true and we're not skeptical and cynical and the world is not only filled with fake news there's Real News Real news is that Hashem is here and he's amazing and I'm on fire from him we have to remain free and independent in order to be able to believe and serve hem without being influenced by whatever is going viral around us was called look at footnote seven the pish calls a what's AR's last name he's where does the word I come from the Hebrew it's not just the language he spoke I is Hebrew everyone was on one side and he was on the other you know what it takes to be willing to be on the other side you know what it is to swim upstream the whole world says this is ethical this is moral this is a civil right this is a truth and you say you know what I will respectfully and warmly and lovingly tell you you're wrong I disagree I'm remaining steadfast to my truth my truth on whatever it is you every week there's another what whatever it is this week it's which state is trying to pass some strong abortion law so the world's coming out it's my and without getting into the details of it because Torah Jews have a very nuanced complicated position on abortion we're neither pro-life nor pro-choice we're somewhere in between so without getting into the politics but the point is that there's pressures all around us and and what happens is these worlds have amazing marketing groups and they changed the whole position of the world on one side and we have to be willing to stand true so our kids are going to go to college and when the whole world says a are they going to be willing to stand up and say no B and I don't just mean a secular College I mean wherever they go They're going to turn on the internet and the whole world is saying a and they have to be one to say B and the same is true with us we have a battle we have a war to go opposite the stream sometimes the reason it's hard to live with a because I want to seem like that you know um unsophisticated fool who was taken by the charismatic Rabbi so I walk around on fire and someone says so now I'm worried are they going to laugh at me that I'm on fire so I'm going to have to squash my fire extinguish my fire a little bit dim the fire so how does the open says what is the very first in the life of a Jew the very very very first is do not be embarrassed or ashamed by those who will mock and make fun of your religious observance don't be ashamed don't be defensive don't be apologetic know your truth and own your truth and discover your truth and then Carry Your Truth with confidence and don't worry so they'll make fun of you you started covering your hair you started making Bros out loud they make fun of you that you talk about hasem and and they make fun of you that you're strict with shabas or strict with giving stuck or strict with or strict with honesty and they'll make fun of you that you come to on time or that you say please don't talk to me let's talk after DAV so what they'll make fun of you don't be embarrassed and don't be ashamed know your truth and own your truth and execute your truth with confidence and if we don't have the confidence and we're molded and shaped and we're embarrassed and ashamed into conforming to others then who are we this call to a principled life and a confident life is not only true for observing the laws of but it's true to living a life of this challenge will carry us through all the generations this was our state of the Jewish people in Egypt and it carried us until we enter the land of Israel in the period of the Exile of the Syrian Greeks what was the whole Syrian Greeks they didn't want to kill us physically they were trying to draw us towards their culture to assimilate to their values and we withstood it we remained principled and stubbornly true to who we were we have to be strong and we have to be true we have to be willing to stand may we have to be willing to be the progeny of Abu of I ourselves we have to be Hebrews we have to be willing to be May a even if the whole world's standing on one side and we have a different truth a different value then we have to stand tall and firm without fear or embarrassment every time we travel for men in particular you put a toest filling on in an airport so where do you go and how do you Hind and do you do it I do I have no I have no shame first of all we live in a world that nobody would blink if someone laid out a carpet and Ed bowing down no one would blink if start someone started Crossing themselves no one would blink if they worshiped a cow in the middle of the airport but the Jew is so worried if I put on my towels and filling what are they going to think don't be embarrassed or ashamed it's my truth and I've never I've never had a problem with it in all the years of in all the years of doing it and we have the opportunity so I'll tell you a story because every time I travel there's a good story for Year love the story so I had my car key in my jacket pocket which was Dumb and the truth is 10 times during my travel yesterday I said why is my key in my jacket pocket put it in the brief like put it in a pocket get it away I didn't I don't know why I don't know why wasn't with me to tell me don't be stupid so I fine so uh put my jacket my bag my hat in the overhead compartment we land here in Florida I take out my jacket take my bag I leave the airport I'm going to my car I reach in my pocket there's no key and there's that moment of panic yeah uh-oh so the first thing you do when you panic I've learned a very good system in life is you say what's the worst case scenario before I start to go to a bed place you say okay what's the worst case what's the worst case scenario there's a backup key in bokeh so my kids will have to I'll take a uber and then my kids will drive me later and I'll get the car not so terrible once you live with the worst case scenario you say okay so now whatever happens is not a big deal anyway then I start where's the key did it Fallout in the security line in Atlanta airport is it still sitting in the campsite where we had the retreat in the blidge mountains of Georgia or did it fall out in the overhead compartment so I ran to the Delta counter and I told them what happened and I K my flight and it's 36 C was my seat and the overhead above it it's a very deep overhead maybe it fell out maybe it fell out when I took my jacket out and it's under I don't know where it is so I tell the gate agent he said you know basically looked at me like good luck buddy we'll see what what happens but called the gate and said what happened and the woman on the other line said is it a Honda key said yes we have it here at the gate unbelievable unbelievable so I don't know fell out and another passenger found it I don't know whether they were clearing the overhead compartments and so so I looked at that so here's an opportunity right I looked at the person I said isn't God amazing God loves me God loves me that could have gone so many different ways that person said God is great they had like a God moment together that was an amazing thing right no embarrassment no fear and I had to go through security again and go get whatever it was a whole Misa but wow there's so many I felt's love in that moment could have been under a seat could have fallen someone else's bed could have been in the back of the overhead could have been gone and again the worst case scenario this was not a life and death moment but it would have been annoying in a pay I to get back to give a share the afternoon call it would have been annoying so you got to be first of all like I said you got to Hashem is in our lives every day he's right in front of us you got to see him he's not a hologram he's not a mirage he's not a uh figment of your imagination he's not a hallucinogen he's there he's there as much as you're sitting right in front front of me right now do you open your eyes and do you see him sitting right there like wow that was amazing this is amazing thank you so much Hashem you just showed your love to me that was amazing he's right there but then you got to not be embarrassed or ashamed to say God is great to scream from the rooftops God is great God is great and when you do the likelihood is the other person is going to say yeah God is great God bless God speed God day God whatever they're going to have their own way of saying it and it's a beautiful thing let's just finish up this last paragraph for today say no no what to answer a heretic the mishna does not instruct us go engage a heretic it didn't say go sign up for outreach it didn't say go knock on doors and try to sell people on God it doesn't say go engage a what does it say the instruction is know what to answer you don't have to initiate but you have to know what to answer it means go work on your amuna if you wouldn't be able to answer you know Jehovah's Witnesses come around our neighborhood every now and then and they disappear very quickly every time they come do you know why that is I'll tell you exactly why that is because when they go to other neighborhoods and they start talking about the Bible and God and the people have never opened the Bible in their life that's the they've hit the jackpot and they come to neighborhood and they start talking and are people like you're not going to tell me about the par about about like you know I don't care how steep you are in Torah or not you are light years ahead you are in the PHD program over their typical person they knock on the door of so they can't get very far in our neighborhood they disappear very quickly when they try to come by so if you wouldn't be able to dispel if you wouldn't be able to send away the Jehovah's Witness how strong is your amuna if an e would make you drop all of your beliefs how much do you believe so study learn analyze practice know what to answer not because we want you to be in a position you have to answer but because you need to know because it gives you Freedom that journey of self-discovery the confidence of knowing your truth that's Freedom so so what we saw today is that R like links faith and freedom you need faith in order you need freedom in order to have faith and need faith in order to have freedom and the two go hand in hand the two go together and not to conform to what society around us wants to believe but to have the confidence and Independence to live our own truth to discover our own truths and to know our own truths and the most true thing there is in life theun the greatest Foundation of all truth is that hasem is here as much as you're right in front of me as much as anyone is right in front of us if we just open our eyes and we see have a great day