Part 105: Davening is the Compass That Recalibrates Our Day

poov good morning we continue with our Amun help yourself to some coffee if you like we are continuing the piece we began last week in's saer or the saer which is a collection of his um and this beautiful piece onun so just to recap what we're up to where we left off last week he began by quoting a m that tells us there are three things that remove a person from the world and you remember the seventh grade girls interpretation person who lives a life that is defined by jealousy or by lust or by the pursuit of honor is removed from the world what is the world the we spoke about different interpretations being removed from the world could mean you're violating the purpose for which the world was created we are put into this world to be selfless givers if you are a selfish taker then you are missing your point you're missing the reason that you're here the uh second interpretation was from the seventh grade girl I can't many moons ago who told me maybe what it means is from every individual we are each a world on to ourselves and to have self-confidence to have happiness to have self-esteem to find an equilibrium and balance in our own lives we have to live a selfless life if our entire life all we are is jealous and envious all we are is lustful and all we are is pursuing ego and honor then we have removed ourselves from how the world which World our own world we're no longer happy with who we are we're no longer mentally um balanced and have an equilibrium the third interpretation which is Rev is what we're talking about is the rambam says which world have you removed yourself from our entire world the platform the foundation of the whole world is a knowledge is an a awareness at all times that there's something bigger than ourselves K created the world this world is so much bigger than us it's bigger than the here and now it's bigger than the next moment of pleasure that there is an eternity and there's an immortality and there is a God who has always been here and always will be here that he is directing things and when a person is their life is informed by jealousy lust and honor we spoke about egos edging God out there's either you either make room for God in life by being humble and making room or you make no room you edge God out you push him out by having an ego that is greatly inflated so we're on the top of page none that was the background from last week says the core of the debate the core of the argument between the faith-based community and those who are not between those who believe and those who don't believe the truth is stop two people in the street one is a Believer and one is not one has a relationship with God and one says God Who and the difference between them is not is not the veracity the persuasiveness of the the logical arguments about does God exist pin them against one another the one who lives with God and the one who lives without and you will not find that the difference between them is the level of thought or analysis they've put in to the question the theological or philosophical question of God's existence there're exceptions to that rule but on the whole doesn't stem the truth is that that difference between them much more eminates not from a theological debate but from a difference in lifestyle from a difference in mentality from a difference in personality from a difference in the Life they're living the person who's driven by money by things by material possessions the person who's driven by ego by Power by name by status the person who's driven by Li Lust by Desire by Pleasure is not going to struggle to find God because of philosophical issues they struggle to find God because God doesn't really have a place in their equation in life in that room in life where is there room for God I kill it in business and I make things happen and it's my Charisma and my charm and my good looks and it's my effort that brings about these positive results and I'm not prepared to defer or compromise or sacrifice my happiness for someone else it's what I want right now so when I have no room for anyone else a person whose life is driven by these three character traits we spoke about this last week has no room for God they also have no room for other people I think the kind of people who live lives of means it's a lonely world because you don't have real relationships it's hard to have a real marriage of trust and and confidence and intimacy and connection and love and loyalty and V ability when all you care about is your Ty what you want and all you care about is Kenna you're jealous you know it's fascinating I'm sure we all see it I see it as a rabbi there's a fascinating interplay between couples do they take pride in one another's accomplishments or are they threatened and competing with one another's accomplishments sometimes you see a couple where when the other one is successful and achieving it makes the other one feel bad about themselves or down so they don't take pride they explain why they're really responsible or why it wasn't really so great they don't really play up what the other one did and then there are incredible marriages where isto kago and and they're really one and the same and whichever one is achieving the other one draws unbelievable Pride relationships at their core can't have jealousy and envy if they're if they're informed by Envy you can't have a relationship so it's true in our relationship with Theon but it's true in our relationships in life it's true with the spouse it's true with children it's true with friends it's true with co-workers it's true with neighbors if we're living lives that are driven by these three attributes by by jealousy and by lust and by Honor there's no room there's no room for other people there's no room for God so when the person who you see says yeah God's not in my life it's unlikely they studied St Thomas aquinus and Aristotle and myones and said you know I've researched and analyzed the evidence for God's existence and I am convinced he's not there they probably never heard those names it's just that God would be incompatible with the life they want to lead because you see if I make room for God it means I can't just do whatever gives me pleasure now I have to answer to a higher authority and if I make room for God it means that I'm not the boss and I'm not in charge and I'm not number one and I'm not the one who's the Orbiter of my destiny there's a God who's pulling the strings and if I make room for God it means that I have to be happy with my lot in life and I can't live with a sense of jealousy of of others so Revol is pointing out the the difference between the person who has God in their life and the one who struggles to find God it might be it might be they major in philosophy it might be that they have a very C ious personality and they studied and they struggled it might be but it's much more likely that they're simply not leading A Life That's compatible that makes room that there's a space for if you're living a humble life if you're living a life where you're satisfied with what you have a Dau life where you say die what I have is enough if you're living a selfless life where you're so committed to make a difference for other people you're going to see Hashem all around you see when you're living a life where you're at the center of the Circle even though Hashem is really speaking to you constantly you can't hear it and you don't see it because you are in the way the an a sense of the ey is standing between God and you but if you're living a selfless life where you're just devoted and dedicated to people and to good and to Mission and to values you can't help but you're not even looking and you see hasem all around you it comes out from something absolutely extraordinary something startling you know what comes out if you struggle with amuna be a nicer person if you struggle with amuna be a more humble person I would have said if someone struggles with amuna read Aristotle read my Mones read AA tor's evidence for God's existence if you struggle with amuna study Theology and philosophy and the answer is no if you struggle with amuna if you struggle with seeing and believing and feeling hasem in your life lead a more humble life and de facto when you live a more selfless life and you make more space and room for others the first one is going to fill that space automatically inevitably invariably is the Reon Shalom is the almighty himself so the best exercise to grow in amuna is to come to the Wednesday morning amuna the second best is to listen to it online the third best is to is not is not to read books on amuna the third best is to work on our own personalities the more humble and the more selfless we are the more that we are the opposite of the more we're which are the opposite then the more that Hashem will just fill that space and we'll see him everywhere we look and we'll feel his incredible presence in the way that things work out now we just had I'm not going to walk you through the whole story because it's complicated unnecessary right now but we were doing interviews in the sh for one position and there was somebody who was interviewed who really wasn't right for that position but for some reason the person leading the charge an interview and people gave that person an interview and in the end of the day someone else left and that person moved right into that spot and they were the perfect person on the exact same day at the exact perfect time and even though when we went from interviewing many many people down to 11 down to six down to the last two and the other two and end up taking other jobs and we're now at zero at the moment that we were depressed we spent all this time and we're at zero we realized we're not at zero we went through this entire process because that other person filled the position that we needed on the day that the person said that they were leaving like Hashem so that's a perfect example so if you say you know I'm brilliant we identified that she was the right person and we hopped her up at that moment even though she wasn't the right for this job we put her on that job and you see how smart and astute and what a CEO and what a leader and or you could say you know now Hashem you're amazing the way you orchestrated that entire series of events and the timeline of it it worked out B in Hara it worked out perfectly but in order to see hashem's hand and guiding the things that are happening that work out so well and not as coincidences you have to step back if you are filling the whole room because it's all about you and you need to take credit for everything and everything was your brilliant idea then you have no room to realize you know what I got lucky this whole thing is Hashem he orchestrated everything so the the best way to work on Aruna the best way to feel the serenity the Tranquility the Peace of Mind the satisfaction the happiness is to realize I have to practice greater humility I need to squash my an my eye my ego needs to be smaller I need to make room for other people and I need to make room for the greatest for Hashem the world we're living in every day it's an amazing we wake up in the morning and the world we're living in doesn't welcome us with all kinds of support for living with amuna the world we're living in does the exact opposite exact opposite we live in a world which from the moment we open our eyes tests our amuna because the very fact that hm is invisible you can't see or hear or feel or touch him means from the moment that we gain Consciousness from the moment we wake up in the morning we're already struggling with is he there why is he doing this did he do this and then on top of that layer all of the messages some explicit and some implicit some overt and some subliminal whether it's through marketing or just the world itself telling us all day it's all you it's all this it's all that there's no God the whole world is stacked against us it's not that we start at neutral and we certainly don't start from a world that's supporting an attitude of the world is because from we wake up the world it's just this is not even a judgment the world it's just an observation the world is a physical world we wake up we're hungry and we're so tired we want more sleep and we look at our clothing and we want new clothing and is our house big enough and is our car nice enough and we're going to go to work where we're going to try to make more money the whole world is designed about the physical world we're living in physical pleasure physical indulgences physical status physical um things the overwhelming portion of our day is occupied got to make breakfast I got to make lunch I got to make dinner I got to go shopping I got to do laundry I got to clean the house I have to make money because I have to pay for all the things I've got to do our whole day is occupied and preoccupied by the physical world and that's by Design Hashem created that that's not there's no judgment of that that is not categorically good or bad it's what we do with it so here's the test you could view the gashi world the physical Universe we live in and say it is devoid of Hashem or you could look at it and say it is testing me to bring Hashem into it it's inviting me it's testing me it's challenging me to live in that physical world but do so with a spirituality with a Divine spark to bring Hashem into it that I found Hashem in the interviews and the job hiring I found Hashem in the aisles of the supermarket I found Hashem in the cubical at work I found Hashem in the gym I found Hashem in the kitchen and the living room in the dining room found Hashem at the mall not at the mall he's not at the mall don't go to I foundem everywhere I turn three times a day we DAV for that three times a day the purpose of daving if I had to summarize the purpose of daving it's with one word calibrate the purpose of daving is to calibrate Our Lives because in between doing we get lost you know the GPS sets you on a path and then you make a wrong turn so it recalibrates we've written about and spoken about the beauty of the GPS alivi that we would treat each other that way there's no judgment it doesn't yell you you missed the turn you turned too early it just says recalibrating new route no no yelling no anger no raised voice no judgment it just says no problem we still have the same destination you made a wrong turn it doesn't say you idiot you were distracted you didn't look you didn't turn you thought you know better than I did so even though I told you to go this way you tried to take that shortcut you yuts it didn't say any of that it just says recalibrating you're going to try to get you to that destination in a loving way so davening is recalibrating I woke up shakas and I said shakas and I said shakas I'm going to have the most noble virtuous day I'm going to learn to I'm not going to speak Lara I'm gonna live with amuna I'm GNA care about R I'm gonna be kind and courteous and honest and fair and good I'm gonna have the most amazing day by the time I got to Min my day had nothing nothing resembling what I thought it would look like a chakas so why do I have in the middle of the day today we stack and together some D in an early but you could dve in Goa is of 1:32 p.m. so boom in the middle of the day you say you know what I was in those business meetings my ego got in the way I was negotiating I thought I'm in charge I was this I got stuck in traffic and I lost my mind and I got so angry I was trying to do something and someone backed out and it bothered me and it hurt me I got to recalibrate you're in charge I depend on you I turn to you in between Shak and I do a world of initiative but comes and I con see it again you're in charge from I go back to my world of initiative you know what ends up happening homework and bedtime and dinner time and that time and the other time and the third time by the time I get to Marv I lost my way again I got to recalibrate ding is re-rooting the destination is to go to sleep feeling good about yourself the destination is to get into bed and say I had a good day I accomplished I achieved I lived my best version of myself I felt Hashem in my life I fulfilled the purpose that I'm here how do we get to that destination at the pillow the answer is doing continues to recal our root so that we can get there so says we d three times a day because in between what happened it removed me from the world how do I get back to the world between how do I get back to the world and so on three times a day inav we turn to the almighty and we live with a sense of amuna and therefore our entire Outlook changes from Shak to I was so driven it's all about me my pleasure my happiness my joy my status my honor my ego my name it was all about me and then M recalibrates and says Whoa relax buddy it's not about you it's not about you that's not why you're here and that's not what it's about and that's not what's going to give you happiness we spoke yesterday in the par year this week is par kosim pich we went through the different interpretations of what does it mean what's a holy life and both had en that the notion of Holiness is is a life outside yourself a life of giving a life of caring K to you that's why it's said gather everyone kosim is achieved in the community it's by being involved and integrated it's by putting others ahead of yourself and that's why the whole par is filled with these mitzvas you are a farmer you have a field you have an amazing crop and you say to your spouse going kill it this year did you see what the farm is producing what a year Torah says leave over the corner don't forget the poor person don't forget the poor person it's not all about you and you don't own the whole field don't forget the poor person and the par is replete with all such Mitzvah that say it's not about you don't forget this one don't forget that and don't you pay your worker on time you didn't pay them on time you think that you're in the position of power so therefore you can exploit a worker you don't pay them on time you're violating a Biblical prohibition the whole par is K you know where Holiness is it's not in the sh it's not in the B medish it's not at the Mikvah Holiness is in the farm on the field how you interact with the worker how you take care of the poor how you take care of the stranger and the Immigrant that's where kadosh kados is so says why is that because that's the place of humility that's the place of care and concern for others that's the place of the opposite of and faith is not philosophical it's not intellectual or academic faith is a lifestyle faith is a muscle you exercise it you work it out and therefore it keeps you healthy amuna is not intellectual it's not that if someone stops you and starts having a debate or a conversation do you believe in God you can answer all kinds of compelling pieces of evidence amuna is a lifestyle it's the choices that we make it's the attitude that we have it's feeling the presence of in our life we are living in a world of tension the physical universe and the spiritual Universe the animal in us and The Godly Spirit it is competing every moment of every day every moment of every day there is a battle there is a war being waged inside of us between the animal impulse and Instinct that says K aov it's you it's your happiness It's Your Lust it's your pleasure it's your honor do what you want right now and The Godly spirit that that says no reach for higher do more do better Mission Purpose Driven that you have a Godly spark a sense of discipline inside you when the times of ding come and we're able to climb up and out of that physical holding us back we're able to rise higher and we're able to DAV you know what occurs to me it's interesting we record in based on the gar records that once certain times of daving begin you're not allowed to eat or drink or get a haircut or there's all kinds of physical things that you're not allowed to do and the simple reading and understanding that's generally given is because what's going to happen you sit down to your meal and your conversation you pour a glass of wine and you're having dinner oh I forgot the and now it's too late the sun went down sitting in the barber's chair you're getting a great haircut I used to get those and you're getting a great haircut and the barber SM smoing with you and massaging your scalp and you're watching the uh the Golf Channel oh I miss so the simple reason is you're not supposed to start these physical activities because they'll distract you and they'll cause you to miss but it occurs to me right now that maybe the reason also in is is you're about to engage and express your spiritual side don't indulge your physical side don't indulge dinner a drink a haircut and a physical activity when you're trying to transcend the physical at least for a few moments to have a conversation from your soul we don't always succeed at connecting to daving often the reason is because we're walking into sh and what happens on the way in we're swing somebody you see my new car it gets this many miles per hour and it doesn't take gas electric and I can do this and it goes make 0 to 60 at that speed or someone count a nice W you get the that new watch nice new this you're walking into sh and on the way into Shou when you're about to DAV you are looking at what someone else has with Kenna in the parking lot or TAA you're thinking about the dinner you're going to have right after Marv and you're starving and TAA and you lust and your hunger and your appetite or C you say I hope they ask me to lead the ding or I see my name on the wall of what I dedicated on the way into sh so when you walk into sh and on the way in K and cavod you're going to have a hard time having a conversation with god if on the way in what inflated is your sense of ego that's going to have a hard time having a conversation with and the thoughts over this lowly world are pursuing us and they remove us from the attitude the energy that we're supposed to bring but when we succeed in transforming from an attitude and mentality of ego of selfish to selfless then we can succeed in connecting with and talking to Hashem from a place of amuna I hope today to find time to write my article for this week and I'm going to write about I just saw an article that quoted a study about the importance of doing nothing you know the business factor and busy and busy and busy and always busy and noise and noise and noise and the capacity to shut down for a little bit every day and I've spoken about of guys that I try to do this with we have a WhatApp group and hold each other accountable for 3 minutes a day to go turn our phone on airplane mode and 3 minutes a day close your eyes and just breathe and think now three minutes you're like three minutes what's three minutes I could do that in a second three minutes the first time you do it I promise you we'll feel like a lifetime three lousy minutes will feel like a lifetime so we've been doing that for a while and it's very healthy and days that I don't do it I feel it and days that I do it are different days but recently I did it just the timing of it fell out to do it right before I davened and that davening was so different than any daving I've ever had because on the way into davening I already became comfortable with disconnecting with being comfortable in my own skin with hearing my own voice with calibrating my own priorities with being lost in my own Thoughts with taking deep breaths Nish nishima we ReDiscover our soul when we breathe deep the soul is within the breath within the breathing so that article that notion of doing nothing in order to be an anchor in our life and to preserve our sense of self and our sense of U balance I think is exactly what the say that they would meditate for an hour before ding I'm at 3 minutes not 60 I don't see myself getting a 60 anytime soon but we could start with the three minutes so that's what he's saying if you walk into daving on the way into daving you're still on the phone did you buy the thing did you sell the stock did you see what the neighbor got did you you know how many likes and follows do I have if on the way into Davin you're still talking a language of K it's like you know the same in the way into dinner with your spouse you're still having a conversation about me and me and me and me and me and me okay enough about me let's talk more about me at dinner what kind of relationship are you going to are you going to have so if you spend those moments disconnecting and ego and context and perspective and what matters the world doesn't revolve around me things don't happen the way I necessarily drew them up to happen I will accept the way that they happen all relationships will be different if we can work on our humility if we can work on suppressing our ego and making room for others if we make room for others the biggest one we'll make room for who will fill that space is the Reon will feel his presence in our lives okay are we going to stop here everyone remember what we're picking up next week top of we're not picking up next week I'm not here two weeks but maybe next week let me turn off the recording for now by recording