Part 102: Did You Thank the Pilot or Did You Walk Right By Him?

good morning everyone B we want to thank our sponsors for our class this morning Jacobs should and Aliyah we continue with our study of amuna and we are in the middle of this piece by R the great Mas been learning about about the bras that we recite 100 bras a day did anyone download the app don't tell me I don't want to know but I told you about this great app that counts your 100 bras a day 100 days 100 times a day rather in the middle of your day interrupt your day a 100 times in the middle of your day to say hello God I see you I feel you I recognize you I feel blessed by you and it can't help but change your day it's the promise of kazal the promise of our rabbis and the promise that R has been unpacking for us that the end of your day will be different how different will any relationship be if you increase both the quantity and quality of the communications so you could go away for two and a half days some of us were just at APAC and not check in one and your relationship's going to struggle and suffer because there wasn't even the effort or the initiative and you weren't sharing and you weren't confiding and you weren't bonding with words or you could check in not quite a 100 times a day that's a little bit debilitating but you could check in and then you know the other person cares they cared enough to send that text they cared enough to make the phone call they care enough to say listen to the incredible speaker I just heard listen to who I just met listen to who I just ran into so the more that we communicate every day both in quantity and quality of the communication it can't help but improve a relationship and Bros are the means with which we communicate with Hashem obviously we communicate with DAV We Begin our day the middle of our day and we end our day by talking to Hashem by enumerating all the things that we need and expressing gratitude for all the things that we have and so on and so forth but the 100 bras a day are the little seemingly insignificant things finding Hashem in absolutely absolutely everything okay so we are underneath those three stars on page KU on the front side that says the 22nd chapter of the great Mas of and he quotes here we're familiar with this p and it's perfect timing to study this p as we are counting down to PES this Thursday night is the annual pesak OCD Workshop this is the very first of the 10 plagues commands Moshe who tells Aon take your staff and place your staff on the water of Egypt on the rivers on every body of water and the udam they'll turn into blood Rashi by the way this came out too soon I don't if anyone saw just north of us in Florida there was a a plague there's development that there are frogs and toads everywhere so for for rabbis like Hashem three more weeks it couldn't have happened in 3 weeks like the perfect drer material Mish the perfect drer material going into pesak but anyway if you ever wonder like are these plagues metaphoric are the plagues symbolic did they really happen did they really make people suffer here it's newsworthy that one lousy development has frogs and toads all over you can't step out on the sidewalk without stepping on frogs frogs here frogs there frogs are everywhere so Rashi says we all know and our children will all invoke at the Seder that Hashem tells Moshe but Moshe doesn't do it himself Moshe is the Big Man on Campus he's the big cheese he's the top to Poncho and yet he's not the one who invokes the first plague you'd think Moshe would want the credit for the first plague but it's not Moshe Moshe hands it off he delegates it to to Aon and why is Aon the one who does it not MOS rash ly tells us because mosha was saved by the river mosha when he was a baby was placed in a basket he floated in the Nile in the river it would be inappropriate it would be an absolute kuo to it would be an ingrate to the river that saved his life to now strike it and transform it into blood does that me sit well with everybody I don't know I was a kid never sat well with May since when does the water have feelings he's got to Express gratitude to the river his feelings okay so the also you got it the kala is going to be embarrassed so we cover the kala there are many reasons brought that's the one somehow that became the most famous but there are many reasons brought really Hally you're supposed to First make a br on bread before you do on on wine or grape juice we reverse it because on a on a what's today Wednesday tonight's the sh dinner so Wednesday night you're going to go first you'll break bread and then you'll have some wine and you'll make a toast so if you did the same thing on Friday night what would distinguish it a shabas dinner someone walked into your house how would they know it's shabas dinner what makes a chabas dinner is that we do it in unusual order we do it different so first we make a toast on the wine and only then do we sit down to break bread I but the bread says whoa what about meally we follow the order of the PK that delineates all the wonderful attributes of Israel and comes first before geen you're supposed to make a br on the bread before the w so the Brit says what about me so we say we're going to cover you somehow we make it feel better by suffocating it under a blanket so we put a Kala cover on top of the kala we suffocate it a little bit under a blanket and we say you just take a little nap we'll be back with you in a minute don't worry we're just going to make a quick Kish and we'll be back with you we've got you covered we've got you covered so we cover so we cover the so he covers so there are a lot of reasons given now is not the time that's only one of them there's many nafas do you really always have to cover the the is it a din in KES or it's a din in Hamot should it be covered when you're making the Hamot one of the reasons that's given is the man that fell in the desert the Heavenly bread that fell from the sky was there was a layer of D on the ground that protected it and there was a layer do on top of it that protected it so it was protected from the elements and from animals and so we have a tablecloth on the bottom person should not eat chabas meal on a bare table should always have a tablecloth in fact there's a notion of having a a shabas tablecloth even if you're not eating at home you don't have to set the table with China and and and and glass but even if you're not eating at home you spread out a chabas tablecloth so that your chabas table is also experiencing chabas your home your environment the atmosphere is also experiencing chabas even if you're not eating at home that's chabas so we have a tablecloth underneath the food and we place the cover on top of the food because of the food that has nothing to do with Kish and the order and many reasons are given and there are na there are practical differences between the reasons should you leave the cover on while you're saying the Hamot if it's only not to embarrass the kala you could take the cover off as soon as KES is over if the idea is it has to do with the Hamot and invoking the the man the significance of the man the Mana that fell from heaven you should leave it on again this is not a time for for a discussion of that so we don't embarrass the kala also does the kala have feelings the kala have feelings you know the great story was once invited someone home shabas and he comes to the table and the uh in the meal the husband is berading the wife you put too much salt in the soup and I can't believe you you forgot to bring out the dips and you you brought the dips and you didn't put them in the fancy new dip holder and you just put them out in the plastic and he was whatever he was Bering the wife for all these things turned to the husband he said tell me why why did you um cover the kala when you make Kish what do you mean I don't want to embarrass the kala make so he said the kala you're worried about and your wife you're not worried about wow so you know the message of the great rant the message of uh if we're treating an inanimate object in this way all the more so we to treat the animate objects the people in our lives we have people who are so scrupulous in customs and practices and they don't draw the message they don't learn the lesson of the whole reason that we're doing it the whole reason that we're not embarassed which is what we're going to get back to right now with Raa so why is Moshe having to Express gratitude to a river because a river needs gratitude why are we not embarrassing Kala cuz kala is going to blush the whole reason we're doing it is nothing to do with the river of the kala it's because we're trying to train ourselves we're conditioning ourselves to be people who Express gratitude we're conditioning ourselves to be those who don't embarrass others it's supposed to work that if I wouldn't embarrass AA certainly I wouldn't embarrass my wife or my husband or my children that's how it's supposed to work instead will sometimes yell at the wife you for where I need to make Kish where the kalas the covers here where the kalas so it's not working it's backwards in the effort to not embarrass the we embarrass the people around us we have it entirely backwards we got to fix it so again Rashi quotes the medish that Moshe did not strike The River Why the river saved his life how could he how could he be an ingrate to the river so uh continuing second paragraph the plague of kinim lice were all over Egypt Rashi again who's the one who strikes the Earth so that it produces the lice that are all over Egypt Moshe delegates it comes again rash mosha had a lot of debts of gratitude he had a debt of gratitude to the Nile saved his life he floated in the basket he had a dead of gratitude to the Earth why because when the Egyptian when he struck when he killed the Egyptian by protecting the Jew and he buried the Egyptian in the earth he hit him he buried him in the sand so therefore how can mosha strike the [Music] ground and from this we learned basically don't hit the hand don't what is it don't strike the hand that feeds you don't bite the hand that feeds you right so you get that from here don't bite the hand that feeds you so the Nile fed mosha the Earth fed mosha don't bite it it's a wonder it's incredible look how far the character trait the attribute of gratitude goes you we Express gratitude not because we care whether the recipient hears or can hear or appreciates or needs the Gratitude the expression of gratitude is not to pay a debt for the other that's not why we say thank you we're not paying off a debt I gave a druss months and months ago and I'm grateful to see that since then not as a result of my drasa but they actually changed the device but I said the first time we got a gift of Alexa what's that thing called Alexa it's called an Alexa okay so uh yeah every week I tell a shy story so we overheard Shai asking Alexa are you friends with Siri no it's a yish a cup that's a great question to ask it makes a lot of sense they would be friends with each other Alexa are you friends with Siri and then last week we overheard him saying we heard him saying Alexa did you know I was in the hospital right anyway that's my shy story for the week someday he'll grow up and listen to the Shum and be grateful his father talked about him so should I tell the yica story we'll save that one we'll save it anyway so why am I telling you that because it bothered me someone gifted us we had one of these fakakta alexas in the house yeah I gave the dresser B I said what bothered me cuz the kids would bark at the Alexa Alexa play blank Alexa say Alexa what's the weather Al how about please how about thank you and I thought that Alexa should be programmed that it only will respond if you say please and Alexa should respond that if within 30 seconds you didn't say thank you it says how about a thank you or you're welcome it should be a teaching tool right so that's exactly what it's exactly what rol is saying it's exactly what rol is saying does Alexa care Alexa is an anatom computer program does it matter if you say please or thank you to Alexa of course not but what's going to happen to a generation of children who bark at Alexa and bark at the car and bark at Siri and bark at their phone do this play that bring me this go there send me the directions put up the map and and then it comes to the mother and it says feed me dinner where's my laundry take me to school and you say how about please thank you so I don't say that to Alexa why I say it to you Alexa does her job you do your job Mom bring me to school drop me at school so the whole reason that we're saying please and thank you is not for the recipient it's not for the target of our please or our thank you the whole reason we're doing it is for ourselves even when it comes to water when it comes to Earth or sand you have to be grateful writes you know what the core of of the mitvah honoring a father and mother the core of the Mitzvah of honoring our father and mother is gratitude gratitude we literally would not be here without our father and mother there's a whole literature in discourse about are you obligated to honor a father and mother who are abusive to you now that that H literature is in the extreme a father or mother who are physically abusive a father or mother are emotionally abusive and then if you go to the more moderate on the Spectrum but there are people I I've had many discussions with people who struggle with honoring a father and mother who are not physically abusive or emotionally abusive in the classic extreme sense but who are manipulative and difficult and make them feel bad about themselves and who are who will make their lives very difficult and is one Hally obligated to maintain or preserve a relationship with a parent who does not make a person feel good about themselves or bring out the best in them or makes challenges in life it's not a simple question it's not a simple question but part of that discussion is that despite how they make you feel today there's a level of gratitude that you would not be here without them you wouldn't be here without them if a doctor if a person had a heart attack and they were on the side of the road and they were about to die and a doctor stopped the car got out gave CPR saved the person's life no matter how obnoxious or cruel that doctor was to you the rest of your life some little sense of gratitude you'd have you'd send a card a note or something you'd check in some sense of gratitude you'd feel so our parents did more than just save our life they gave us our life and at the core of the Mitzvah of honoring our parents I'm not I'm not offering an answer to that question and each circumstance and each scenario is different and certainly if it's to the point of a relationship with a parent is going to disturb one's own mental health and one's own relationships then one's own mental health and relationships come first it's a separate discussion I raise it only because R is invoking the who says that the core of this great Mitzvah which we know is so important and it's so significant at the core of it the is part of what defines us as human beings is gratitude is gratitude when you fill your your pet's bowl of food it doesn't say thank you I know it snuggles with you and tells you it Loves You by I got it okay all the pet lovers I understand but it can't Express gratitude it's that's a pavlovian response fill the bowl snuggles with you you'll fill the bowl again it's a pavian response but real gratitude real gratitude it doesn't have that's uniquely human told us that a person who K it's very interesting the Hebrew word the the rabbinic language that we use to describe gratitude is and the the inverse the opposite isar literally translates toak means to see to recognize to is the good I didn't hear the first part hak is to see to recognize and the opposite Kao is to deny to to to be an ingrate so what it means is at the root of gratitude is the willingness to see good to see good you could be a very grateful person but just you didn't even notice the good that someone did for you someone held the door but you didn't bother saying thank you you know you get off an airplane and and you just watch how many people walk off and walk right by the flight attendants the pilots they don't say thank you you know what it does I I I traveled yesterday with uh with Rabbi masut and with Rabbi blumthal on our way back from APAC and we have a fun game you you go through the airport and there are people in the airport who their entire day feel invisible their entire day they're interacting with people but they feel invisible because those people don't interact with them the people at TSA and the people selling you the incredibly overpriced water bottle and the people who are the flight attendant on the plane and just when you stop and you just interact a little banter a little fun you use their name look at the name the name tag and you use their name you've humanized them you've made them a human being again you know what it is for the flight attendant or the pilot if you say something if you make a joke about the turbulence about the weather about being in Florida that use the you say thank you thank you so much what a smooth flight thank you so much you know what that does to a person that gratitude so we think like what do I have to thank him he's doing his job Alexa did her job and Siri does her job and that was the Pilot's job is to take me off safely to land me safely and good I everyone's in such a rush got to get to my Uber and my lift and the person w waiting and should I meet them at arrivals or at departures or what's the best strategy and they I got to get to the bathroom cuz I forgot to go before we landed everybody's got their strategy they're running off the plane and nobody says thank you and nobody says thank you why is the plane full of cruel obnoxious mean terrible self-centered people yes but that's not also the reason especially the Washington plane not so much if it's coming from other parts of the country that I will leave off more so but that's not why that's not why that's not why it's because uh it's because we failed to be Mak yourto we're just not thinking about it there's so many other so much other noise there so many other things in our mind and and we're running through life what do you mean my loved one's waiting for me my Uber Rod's waiting for me the meeting I have to get to is waiting for me I'm on the phone I just landed so I'm calling and I'm on the phone and responding my text and I'm making that phone call so he walk right by the person who took us to 30,000 ft and then brought us back down on the ground and we didn't crash or smash or blow up or die we didn't turn upside down we didn't throw up and we we walk right by this who just performed a miracle no less than mosha taking us out of the desert when you think about what the miracle of flight is you think about what the miracle of flight is and how in a couple hours you're halfway across a country and what that would have taken just a few Generations ago and this person who was literally the pilot well Le s sullenberger is the hero of all time because he and and he deserved to be a hero for landing in the Hudson hopefully our Pilots don't have to but this person piloted our ship of hundreds of people and took us in a metal tin into the middle of the air with no no room for error and that if something would malfunction or he would make a mistake we were done and and we just walked right by him we didn't even say thank you you say thank you how what does that say about us that you just walk by this person who just piloted the miracle you can't say thank you can't say so what it does for him is important but forget him you're not doing it for him it's for us what do we look like when we're walking by people all the time so that's why the Hebrew language the RAB language is cuz you're not mock your to move by the way when you say thank you to the pilot it wouldn't hurt to say thank you to Hashem this flight went well we all know about the accident that happened a few weeks ago and they had to ground all that those planes what are they the uh 7 737s so we we've come to take it for granted that uh you know plane it happens to be that flying is safer than driving at I95 in South Florida it happens to be statistically it happens to be at least the pilot could see over the windshield it happens to be but but that's not the point the point is the point is it's a miracle so it's just a matter of seeing the Miracles that are all around us do we live life with do we see the good or do we take the good for granted and we're on our phone and we're walking and we're going and we're eating and we're doing and we're running are we if you start by failing to see the good that your friend does for you then you're gonna fail to see the good that God does if you can't say thank you to the pilate whose Flesh and Blood who you can see before your eyes who kept interrupting your favorite show right at the peak to make some announcement on the loudspeaker and you can't bother when you're getting off the plane to a human being who you see and can hear and if you shake your hands can t you can see and you can't say thank you to him then what are the odds that you're ever going to say thank you to God so kazal understood that if you live life and you begin to neglect and fail to say thank you to the people around you we have to say thank you to each other thank you for earning a living and providing for our family thank you for making this delicious dinner thank you for making the plans for our trip thank you for packing the suitcases thank you for worrying about thank you for driving or you know is it assumed that one of the person's in the marriage is always going to drive so the other one always just gets to relax in the car and shows up or do they say thank you for driving that was relaxing for me and I know it wasn't for you and I appreciate it there's Tove there's good being done for us all around us and are we living life in HD are we seeing the good in high definition and in color and saying thank you are we are we grateful thankful people or are we failing to say thank you are we cuffway to do we never see anything as good by the way a big part of that has to do with how we see ourselves arrogant people struggle with saying thank you humble people are overflowing with gratitude why because implicit in an expression of gratitude is the admission that I needed you and I benefited from you so the Arrogant person egotistical person who wants to think I got it I'm all that I'm independent I've got everything covered I don't need you I don't need anything so how do I ever say thank you and acknowledge that I needed you but a person who's humble who says look we all need each other and I'm there for you and you're there for me and I'm just humble I just blend in has no problem saying thank you it's a famous R hutner I've said it a thousand times but I'll say it again a beautiful incentive of hutner that the word for gratitude is toada mod an go back to the first sitter snippet not an you can't wake up in the morning and your first word be I we don't live life where your first word is I Jews wake up and the first word on their lips is gratitude thanks oh I woke up my first word is thanks the second word is would you shut off that alarm it's driving me crazy no the first word is not an it's mod so the word mod pointed out in Hebrew you could be mod and mod Al the same word I could mod to you about this or I could be mod about and the same word the same word means grateful I'm grateful to you for doing X or mod means I admit that you say I owe 100 I owe you $100 and I say I'm mod I'm mod I admit it I owe I admit it I admit it what do the word admit and grateful why do we have the same word for admit and gratitude couldn't come up with another word so of foter famously said because really they mean the same thing every time you say thank you you're making an admission every time you're mod you're being mod when I say thank you what I'm admitting is you benefited me you enriched me I am better off because of you and I'm so thankful to you I admit it and that admission turns into gratitude I'm thankful so the person who could never admit they can never admit they're wrong they can never admit they need anybody they could never admit anything will also never be able to say thank you the two go together so if you fail to be able to say thank you to a human being who you see you'll never thank Hashem will never thank Hashem if you live life with a sense of wonder wow an airplane flies in the sky and a car can drive and this cup of coffee from a coffee bean in I don't know Nicaragua I have no idea where this coffee came from that's unbelievable and I a minute ago I was tired and now I drink this thing and I'm bouncing off the wall Hashem that's amazing you could have love life with e nothing's impressive everything's whatever or you live life where everything's amazing if you live life with everything is unimpressive so what do you ever have to be grateful I should be grateful for this coffee first we couldn't find it and it finally got here it wasn't as hot as I like it and it's a little bit bitter and I like it to be with the whipped cream on top I should be thankful for this coffee or you could life and say ah it's coffee wow it's coffee wow these lights this air conditioning This Plane this car this clothing this this family unbelievable wow wow it's all wow and if you live life with it's all wow anytime you live life with the wow so The Logical next step of wow is I see the good what's the next step gratitude right HOV we translate is gratitude butov really is the precedes gratitude hakar satov is the Catalyst of gratitude you see the good and you can't help but be grateful if I tell you great news I you know I bought you a ticket and it turns out you won the $650 million Power Ball what how tell that's humble wow thank you thank you I can't thank you enough thank you yeah bad news for you I did not so saysa how are we going through life every day and no matter our struggles or our troubles or our challenges of which everyone has some some petty and insignificant and others of the highest order but everyone has but despite whatever we're going through how do you not go through life and even within the darkness see the light even within the challenges see the moments of wow and whatever degree you see the wow has to generate a sense of of than thank you a sense of thank you we have a dear friend who's going through an incredibly challenging time and suffering for a horrifically debilitating and terrible illness how are you doing who speech struggles to even answer but everything is is amazing amazing every day better every day getting better it's it's it's low it's it's unbelievable but we're exposed to people they're human beings around us like that and they Inspire us so we who are lives taka are unbelievable compared to the people who have the real struggles the real struggles our lives are absolutely incredible we're not grateful we're not grateful our rabbis gave us a great homework so what is the purpose of now we come back to so you know what you're going through life we're going through all of our Lives as if we're getting off a plane we're on the phone we're distracted we're running we're doing so we're running through lives as if we're running off a plane and just just as we fail to say thank you to the pilot who flew Us and got us to our destination and landed us safely we go through life and running and we fail to say thank you to the Pilot We fa failed to say thank you to the pilot you know the story I think I once told it before in the ELA of the plane that hit tremendous turbulence and an engine failure and the pilot came in a loudspeaker and told everyone to brace there was an excellent chance it was going to have a crash landing there's Mass hysteria all over the plane and everyone's going crazy and some people are are are jumping up and down and other people are making a phone call to tell the people they love them and others are are ripping open their prayer books to to pray and there's a little girl and she's sitting very calmly and the man next to her says how are you sitting so calmly this Mass hysteria did you hear what he said and aren't you worried and and she said no and he said how are you keeping your calm how are you how do you have it all together and she said the Pilot's my father and I know he's going to land us safely right so if you live life with the pilot your father so then you can have a sense of confidence so we do talk live life the pilot is our father he's flying our plane he's getting us to the destination so we could either live life we running off the plane and walking right by the pilot we're on the phone and we're would you believe that that they had to reset the TV would you believe the Wi-Fi was slow we're telling our loved one what a ridiculous flight I only had 17 bags of the blue chips and then they ran out and you're walking right by the pilot is like hi I took you in the air and flew you and landed you and and in this tin box and you had everything you just walk right by me and that's Hashem he's the pilot and he says you just hi you're just walking right by me you woke up this morning you went to sleep tonight you had the same headcount in your home everybody's alive and well you had such wonderful interactions and you have such BR and blessing and everything is so good in your life and you're just walking right by me to talk on the phone and complain to someone about everything you're CUO to you're not mock your to you're walking right by me I'm the pilot so a rabbi said you know what here's what we're going to do 100 times a day we're going to say you got to stop hang up the phone and talk to the pilot 100 times a day we're going to mandate that you turn to the pilot and you say thank you thank you pilot for the little bottle of water thank you pilot that there's a bathroom on a plane thank you pilot that there's air conditioning thank you pilot we took off we landed relatively on time like within the same week thank you pilot that whatever so 100 bras a day so that we stop and see and thank the pilot God is the king of the universe gives us any any Joy or pleasure we have in life from a cup of coffee to a good night's sleep to a snuggling with a blanket to the clothing we wear the air conditioning the car we drive the children we have the relationships that are meaningful he gives us our body our faculties that work he gives us our the Torah the at the core at the root of everything we do is to feel gratitude to coast and to walk through life and to keep walk by the pilot and fail to ever say thank you means that you're never stopping to see the good because if you ever stopped and considered and saw the good you couldn't help but say thank you this this character trait this core are you a person who sees the good or are you a person who's blind to the good are you living life in high definition in color you living it in black and wife are you getting off the plane and giving full attention to the people who got you there are you getting off the the plan and you're distracted that is true both in our interpersonal relationships and it's true in our relationship with God and what our rabbis understood was if we fail in our interpersonal relationships then we've got no shot in our relationship with God if we can't say thank you to the people around us we'll never be able to feel this intuitive sense of saying thank you to God so how do we train and condition ourselves to feel hashem's goodness all the time and to feel grateful that everything works out how do we do it by ensuring that we're that way with the people around us every dinner every week night somebody went somebody earned the money to buy the food someone went shopping with the food someone cooked the food someone set the table someone's going to clean off the table and usually sometimes that's one person that's a tough circumstance but often that's a bunch of people who are contributing to the buying of the food the shopping the the money for the food the shopping the cooking the setting the cleaning it involves multiple people children do we stop and do we model for our children thank you for clearing your dishes without being asked thanks for your help with setting the table thank you for cooking that thing and taking it off my plate while I did homework with your sibling do we model that we see good or do we take the good for granted because by the way all the all the research shows that the more that you see good and acknowledge it the more that people will do that good was another drush I gave a few weeks ago the ratio of compliments to criticisms five to one gan's conclusion and all the research and business settings that you'll get more out of your co-workers colleagues employees if you give five compliments for every criticism when we see good good we take for granted we assume it's supposed to happen when people are doing what they're supposed to do like Alexa Siri they're supposed to do what I told them to do so when people do what we're supposed to what we what they're supposed to do we take it for granted and when do we notice them when they're doing the wrong thing that's when they hear from us do they ever hear from us when they're doing the right thing does Hashem ever hear from us for the things that we took for granted the things that we consider he was doing the right things so RBA says the introd ction to being able to recite is to work on saying 100as a day is saying 100 thank you a day it's another way of thinking about this Mission imagine we tell our children if you want your phone if you want this gift if you want whatever that is thing you want we got a clicker you got to show me that you said 100 thank yous a day 100 thank yous a day who drove you to school picked you up from school who held the door when you were walking into school did you thank the teacher after every class thank you so much for that class the thank you are we training and conditioning ourselves to see good not take it for granted and say thank you if we do that we'll see the ultimate good and where that ultimate good is coming from are we training ourselves we sometimes on the rare occasions that we have dinner as a family we will sometimes go around the table and each of the children know where did you feel or see Hashem in your life today wow where are you grateful for seeing Hashem in your life two questions we try to ask where did you see Hashem in your life today and did you do something nice for someone else today today what did you do for someone else today so when you do that sometimes the kids will come to the table and before we even ask the question they say I want to tell you something that I did for someone else I want to tell you something that happened today wait what did we have last week one of our kids this is not great but one of our kids said uh teacher told us to put our things away we're giving us a test I totally forgot we had a test I asked Hashem please help me and it turned out it was just the questions of the things I knew and I H the test I saw hasem in my life today okay there was a positive in that story also some work to be done some work to be done in the story too but in other words when you ask that question we we condition ourselves to live life where we say where do we see AEM in my life today not just children as adults we've got to share that with our children we've got to model that for them where did I see Hashem in my life today what did I do something nice for someone else today did I make myund thank yous a day is did I stop and say thank you a 100 times a day thank you for the coffee thank you thank you for everything we'll pick up with this next week we're not here but we'll pick up the week after Thursday night is the prees workshop if anyone wants to come