Part 100: Developing a Personal Relationship With Hashem Instead of a Business One

okay good morning everyone it's an exciting morning it's our H 100th amuna sheir it's like the H 100th day of school for kids when they make a little party there's really no precedent or source for making a party when you have a 100th Shear but I thought that since the topic that we've been studying over the last several weeks are theas of and the blessings that we recite before enjoying and benefiting from this world and the source of that is that we make a 100 bras a day it's codified in the the code of Jewish law based on the tells us don't read it it's not what does God want from you but read it Maya but a 100 times a day we interrupt our day I guess this morning we're not interrupting our day it's at the beginning of the day we're celebrating the number 100 so the number 100 represents the amount of times during our day that wants us to make a bid for connection he wants us to connect with him so 100 times during the day we say Hashem wow this cup of coffee hashm wow that worked out in the bathroom Hashem wow I was able to say I just was able to have a I hope I have a safe flight a 100 times a day and of course the bulk of it more than half is covered through our Shon so since the magic number instituted by Dav our rabbis tell us that there was a plague that was striking down people and dav's response was to Institute making 100 bras a day and the 100 bras a day reconnected us created a new connection between us and it restored a relationship and when we repaired and restored the relationship the plague was lifted so that number of 100 has significance in terms of bros so it was appropriate that for the hundredth she we'd make a Bros party so we have a Bros party I hope you're all enjoying and I hope you all made bras on what you're enjoying and I hope you all tapped into each of the food that we have out for those who are listening online you're missing a lavish breakfast and I want to thank our sponsors this morning who all have sponsored this morning shear and um and sponsored the breakfast this morning so first of all I want to thank the anonymous person AIG alurn in a memory of her beloved daughter Rachel David and Susan Anthony in honor of oh Rabbi Goldberg his auna class that's nice Essie Barry in honor Rabbi n goldber oh boy Hena gansburg in memory of her beloved mother Brian basz in commemoration of her urite my mother Mrs basheva Goldberg in honor of rebit Y Goldberg so nice oh man I'm going to get emotional zeld and Benji Henner in honor of her father Harry uh scotman on his 80th birthday IED cblo in memory of her beloved mother man in appreciation of the amuna class and the guy who teaches it Michael and Lupin in memory of liba Gabriel bash and Merlin in honor of the amuna class Ai and dorah Orland in memory of her beloved daughter Miriam Esther Bas AR yok Penny Perman in honor of Goldberg debie rans in memory of her beloved mother Mina bivia Alan Tammy Rosal in honor of her special birthdayben hon of and Rosenberg in memory of Shimon who your site is today so thank you all very very much thank you all very much uh we really appreciate the sponsorship and I want to thank my brother-in-law Michelle who had the idea of in honor of the hund Bros on the 100th day putting out these signs and worked with me on the signs and each of the signs which hopefully you paid attention to there is the braa in Hebrew transliteration and English and in a little box on each of the signs is a thought BAS on what we've learned the last several months the thought that corresponds with each so if you had a bagel and you washed out in the washing station there was one for the notion of lifting our hands elevating ourselves in all we do and each of the from and so on there is a thought and auna thought based on our class that corresponds with the uh with the braa and uh we could send out actually the signs to the whole group so people can continue to have those thoughts in mind with the bras that we're reciting and lastly though she doesn't want to be thanked I want to thank SD Lupin for helping or organize and prepare the breakfast this morning with her usual style and flare so thank you estd okay with that we're ready to start learning I think do I leave anybody out no four minutes of thank you hopefully people fast forward okay we're learning a new piece we finished learning a piece from from rolin the AL Shore in the second volume of a collection of his thoughts his V was the Mas of he was a spiritual giant of Israel himself a fascinating background um and he was the Mash mash did not work in the kitchen at the Yeshiva he wasn't supervising the Kus of the food he was supervising the Casas of the spirits of The Souls of the young men in the Yeshiva and through his work with the young men whom he influenced and who he inspired who he molded and shaped we have his vision recorded in two volumes called alore and several new volumes have been published of his thoughts so we learned a piece in the second volume we're going backwards now to learn a piece in the first volume also on this topic of why are we spending so much time this is an why are we spending so much time in Amun on the topic of and the answer is as we've seen because the we have a tradition that the way that we can bolster and strengthen our faith the way we can work out oura muscle every single day is through making Bros if we have that level of mindfulness and Consciousness that as we go through our day everything we benefit and everything we enjoy that we stop and we pause and we say please and we say thank you then in fact we are increasing our amuna that was the promise of Gab Us in the last piece and again for for some who are here for the first time or are back after a long time we don't have breakfast every Wednesday morning at 8:45 but we do have coffee and amuna every Wednesday morning at 8:45 if you want to join we have a WhatsApp group to let you know whether we're on or off and sometimes to share some other thoughts in between so let me know we'll put you on that group so again the notion is that R's promise was really kazal rabbi's promise was take a day where you say 100 Bros not where you flippantly discharge and swallow the bras faster than some of you swallowed your bagel but you you say the BR slowly and carefully and mindfully and you allow it to impact you he promised us that even if you only paid attention for 10% for 10 of the 100 Bros at the end of the day you'll be a different person you're bered the anchor your connection to the source to Hashem your feeling your overwhelming feeling of gratitude of appreciation your mindfulness with which you live life your sense of being em your sense can Matthew theer your sense of being evem will be entirely and categorically different V who was the primary principal student of the AR the great cabalist the AR the V had a tradition from his re the AR that the primary way to attain rues a person who aspires to be able to receive rues means you want to have not prophecy but the level just below prophecy you want to be most connected to God you want to be the best version of yourself you want to achieve Schamus wholeness completion as a person it's to recite it's to say these bras and he had a tradition that when we say a br when we recite a blessing when we acknowledge God in the food what we're essentially doing is transforming the food from a physical mundane material object serving our physical mundane Temptation and appetite and we're injecting it with a spirituality so we take a food food for many of us I can only speak for myself and I I've learned recently that I do a lot of self disclosure in these classes because I meet people and they say oh how how' your kid do on the test or how's your son feel we've never met how do you know me I listen to your amuna class oh okay so so um I know that I battle with food every day if you're a foodie I I can't stand people like R mascots food means nothing to him you can care less about it it means nothing to him he has no temptation no desire for any unhealthy food all he craves are carrots and celery and he can't stand potato chips and cake and that's just obnoxious it's obnoxious so if you're a food person and you love food and you love quantities of food and you love the taste of food and the aroma of food and the texture of food and and trying different foods and spices of foods so if you're a food person which is the overwhelming majority of the Jewish people it's in our DNA so we know that food is one of the principal primary places that we battle in fact we have a tradition that the word is the root of the same word mil the word battle fight War bread which is the staple of all food Dr Atkins would say it's the greatest enemy in the food group so bread carbs is the source of so many people have many yaras many people have different Temptations and appetites and desires some want to help their kids cheat on the SATs and get it to College others want to look at things on the internet they shouldn't be looking at we have Dr Fagan here this weekend to talk about that some are drawn to share the juiciest gossip and lanara they have there's all there's no shortage of of the the schorg of options of Yara that people have but an almost Universal the exception of mas an almost Universal Yahara that we all have is food is food we eat types of food and quantities of food that are bad for us and we're it's self-destructive we're sabotage in ourself and many of us hate ourselves after that kind of meal where we overate or ate things we didn't want to eat or ate things we promised we wouldn't eat or ate another meal when we said we were going to skip one so it is the place of our greatest battle it represents the most mundane everyone in the animal kingdom humans and animals alike need to eat so food is food is the platform it's the battlefield food is the is the is the court where the war is waged so is quoting this tradition from the AR that when we make a br on that food we've transformed it from something that brings us down something that makes us hate ourselves to something that brings us up and it makes us love ourselves when you make that now I'm not suggesting that if you can make a bar then you don't have to dieet you don't have to be careful you don't have to be Discerning judicious eat anything you want whatever time of day you want however much you want you still have to be careful yeah the BR is not a schoa that you won't gain weight what the does is it transforms The Experience from and from a Battlefield to a spir you've just turned your dining room table your kitchen table you've just turned the restaurant table into a Bas medish you've turned it into a sanctuary you've turned it into a Sho by making that braa wherever whenever you've just turned your airplane seat you're making a braa whatever food you've now transformed it from the most base low mundane you've elevated you've lifted it you've made it something real now until now we've suggested the idea that when you make a based on that that if you enjoy and benefit from this world without saying please and thank you to Hashem it's as if you have stolen it's as if you have stolen from God and that is an image that we're supposed to have I wouldn't work out of the supermarket and take food off the shelf without paying I wouldn't eat in the restaurant and go home without paying I can't benefit and enjoy and indulge in this world without paying I have to pay the one owner who is the supermarket who is the restaurant I have to pay the currency called money but the other owner who's the owner of everything God owns the whole world and everything in it there would be no bread on the Shelf if he didn't allow it to grow from the ground there would be no fruit or vegetables if God didn't endorse allow enable those seeds to take root and for it to grow so I thank the immediate owner through the currency of money but I have to thank the ultimate owner of and the currency with which I pay him is a and that's the model that we've been talking about until now is even if you're not a person of such faith and even if you struggle with God's existence but you have honesty and integrity are you a person who's who's who doesn't steal if you're a person who who doesn't steal then don't steal from God either make aink Z rinkis has a different I don't even know if we're going to get to ouri today we're gonna get to a moment but rinkus has a different view altogether and I just saw this yesterday and it for me had enormous impact it totally changes the way they think about or see this concept of and of making a and he says the following instead of viewing it that you can't walk out of the supermarket and not pay and you can't enjoy food in this world without pay think about it the other way what if the restaurant owner is also a dear friend of yours so in the restaurant you have to pay because it can't afford to give all of his friends meals for free so you go to a restaurant maybe throws in a dessert or a drink or a coffee depends how good a friend you are but you're still going to get a bill at the end of the meal and it'd be wrong it'd be inappropriate you'd be stealing if you go home and you didn't pay that bill and you didn't pay for what you took but if you're a friend to the restaurant owner you don't only eat in his or her restaurant you're sometimes invited to their home and when you eat in their home at their dining room table you eat there for a shabas meal or midweek or a barbecue on a Sunday they don't hand you a bill at the end of that meal because that's not what friendship is that's not what a relationship is so when do you have to pay for a meal you pay for a meal when the nature of the relationship is a business one when there's a coldness when there's a distance when there is no real relationship I don't know who owns the relationship I don't know who owns the restaurant necessarily they're not my friend it's a business relationship I went there I paid I'm a customer they're the proprietor I paid them for the goods and services I enjoyed so I pay when I have a relationship of a client or a customer with a proprietor but when I go to your home and it's the relationship of friendship I'm not going to pay you're not going to charge me we're friends so if Pinkus says if you don't make a Braha then it's a business relationship with hasem but when you make a braa you've created a friendship and now he's invited you into his home so you don't need to pay it's not that the braa is the currency and the payment r pink turns the whole thing around and says if you don't make a br if you live this lifestyle where God is not involved in your life you don't see him you don't acknowledge Him you don't thank him you don't turn to him you don't lean on him you don't rely on him God is not a active member not an active part of your life so then that's like the owner of the restaurant the owner of the supermarket when I go and and take something I have to pay so you owe God but if you make a braa that is the foundation of the relationship if you make a br that is the means of communication that the your building blocks of a friendship so when you have the building blocks of a friendship then after all you don't need to pay that's where Pinkus is entirely different view of of the way that we make bras I want to look at this piece in RBA because I want to continue to harness our our mindfulness to make these 100 bras a day there is an app if you go to the App Store at least on on Apple iOS there is an app to count 100 bras a day remember we talked about creating a Fitbit just like Fitbit counts 10,000 steps we need an app that counts 100 bras the app does not hear you say the word bar and automatically count it like your Fitbit does it doesn't make you a little ksh at night when you hit 10,000 steps you hit 100 bras there aren't fireworks and it doesn't vibrate and make a party on your risk but uh but the app is a good means where you'll be much more Mindful and conscientious throughout the day if you go to the app to program it every time you make the and you add one and you'll see oh I'm 20 short oh I'm 10 short I have a long way to go oh that'll give me another 19 I'm good to go and so on it creates a mindfulness and a consciousness of it so as we're using this schoa it's not a schoola in the superstitious hbgb sense it's a schoa in the God gave this to us as the treasure as a gift as a platform as a means to connect with him a 100 times a day 100 would your relationship not be enhanced with someone that you claim to care about whom you feel distanced from if you pledge to check in a certain amount of times a day a 100 times might actually destroy your relationship but if it were a different if it were a different number I don't know call it call it 10 times a day from when we wake up till we fall asleep 10 times today we need to check in a check-in can be a phone call a check-in can be a text a checkin can be sending an interesting article a a check-in can be a voicemail a check-in could be sending a picture but 10 times during the day we've got a check in do you think at the end of the day your relationship would look the same impossible it would be different so 100 times during the day we need just check in and we saym there's so much BR in my life now now normally we're deaf we don't hear it we don't see it we're so caught up in the momentum of Our Lives that we don't see it so here I'll give you some disclosure our son had a problem with his tooth this week and uh he had an infection his tooth he had to have his tooth pulled it was in a lot of pain it was terrible so I was holding him in my arms and I said Shai we're going to dve to Hashem to take away the pain so we dve to Hashem we said Hashem make sure I feel better and make the pain go away and make it heal and let him be able to be happy and joyful and let him play and let him eat and little be say he said am me I said now hashem's going to answer you so a minute went by we're still just lying there I'm holding him and he said I didn't hear him answer me why didn't he answer I didn't hear anything so I realized we use that expression Hashem will answer you and to a six-year-old they say why don't I hear him where is he so many of us are still six years old where we look at the world and we say he did answer now Shai's back in school and his tooth feels so much better and what a miracle of modern medicine that you can heal an infection with antibi iotic and the and a wrench you can heal an infection basically you can heal an infection it's a miracle of modern medicine so Shai is not mature or old enough to realize a day later he answered me I asked him to make the pain go away I asked him to heal me I asked him to make me happy and have fun again and look at that he doesn't realize because he's moved on the problem is many of us are stuck at six years old we ask Hashem for things in our time of need and then when it comes we forget we ever asked and we certainly don't see him as the source of the one who provided it so I can tell you this as a rabbi too people meet all the time who are in crisis who need things and you never find out what happened they don't have the courtesy of calling back and saying my kid got in it worked out we had the child the marriage is wonderful now most overwhelming amount of people they don't so we move on because in the crisis you have the conversation and then you tend to move on I don't need like a flurry of emails now filling me in on how everybody's doing I just hope everyone's doing wonderful and well and nothing would make me happier but we turn to Hashem in that crisis and then we move on and like a six-year-old we don't mature and develop we don't grow in our sophistication to realize you know I was knocked out by the flu I was miserable with this cold I asked Hashem new there're people with much more significant illnesses but if you don't mind and you have some time I could really go I could really do without this flu and then the flu healed and you when you have the flu if anyone's had the flu you feel like you'll never be able to lift your head from the pillow again you were run over by a truck you can't breathe everything hurts you'll never be able to enjoy life another moment again that's how you feel and lo and behold the next day a little better that and then the third day wow turn the corner you feel better do you stop and sayon that's thank you thank you for giving me back my health so the 100 bras a day are to help us to go from 6 years old to the maturity of a 60y old you don't have to wait till 60 but it's to help us be able to throughout our day say wow that worked out what I was nervous about was that going to work out I'm concerned about this how will this turn out I need your help I'm turning to you I'm relying on you I'm leaning on you and hasem answers let's look inside first thing R does is Define our words because if we're going to say this every day we might as well know exactly what we're saying we might as well understand the words so let's start with the word bar we alluded to this a little bit last time the word who's the primary the principal student mu of Theon says the word is the is the source of he is the source of all blessing he is the source of all good of all pleasure says the word is kindness compassion Holiness God is the source of all these things and these are the things that we're supposed to be thinking about when we say that word so R is quoting first the word so just the word you can get stuck on it could take you half an hour to say the word bar I'm not suggesting it should the things we got to get done during the day but just the word bar God you are the M BR you are the source of any blessing anything in my the stock market went up my favorite team won the game last night I had delicious coffee just now with a friend delicious conversation my marriage is wonderful I'm getting Nas for my children so the I'm saying the word but I'm not just saying it on the pineapple or the coffee or the water or coming out of the bathroom when I say the word bar on the cored thing I'm also thinking about the more expansive all the in my life God you are the source of all that blessing yes I work hard and yes I take pride in the blessing that I achieve but you are the makor you are the source of all of that of all that there are other interpretations I'll just share with you some the says the word it's an expression of greeting he says when you see a friend you say shom good morning hey how are you whatever your greeting is the greeting with hem is the way we open a conversation with god the greeting that we initiate is says the that's how we greet God and why do we greet him in that way the greeting I have with you is shal it's a beautiful Insight of on the word shal Shalom peace Al Alim is in the singular or plural plural it's in the plural why are we say in the plural if I'm greeting all of you I say shalom Al ladies good morning it's our 100 Amun here but if I'm just saying AO to one person why am I saying Shalom I should should say shalom shalom on you why in the plural and what do you respond Shalom why' you switch it why do we get confused over here why don't you say shalom back is a great Insight he says when I engage you when I encounter you I am implicitly acknowledging that we're different we may have different views we may have different tastes we may come from different backgrounds we may have different personalities we may have different religious observances we may have different political affiliations we may have different orientations on a whole host of things and my wish and hope for the interaction we're about to have is Shalom May there be peace between us Alim in the plural is because I'm not just greeting you my greeting is about us I'm blessing us Shalom May there be peace may we find what we have in common that which we have differently may we even that which we differ about may we disagree agreeably May the result of our encounter of our relationship of our conversation may we walk away with a sense of shalom shalom on us let there be Shalom and you respond that's what I want also on us Shalom yeah that's also my goal that's also my mission now a lot of people say shalom you no good Nick you're not really from and you vote for the wrong person and I have no use for you and you're terrible and you don't believe like me so they undermine the whole purpose of saying these words so they should say not sh so beautiful greeting that we have in that greeting itself he unpacks that greeting that so many of us have heard or said for so many years and in that greeting itself is a f is a prayer that our interaction our our communication our relationship let it not be confrontational let it result let us walk away with an increased sense of Shalom of peace between us so that's the wish that I have when I greet a human what's the greeting to God how do you say shalom to God God I hope this goes well I hope there's Shalom between how do you greet God what's the relationship how does the greeting God so that's what he's saying the the greeting to God is the word not God I want you to know I feel so blessed to have you in my life God you are the source of all blessing and I am so blessed to have an audience with you right now I'm so fortunate I'm so lucky I'm so grateful that I have the chance to talk to you and to thank you for this Apple for this pear for this coffee and so on and so forth that is the interpretation of the the r the rash has a different interpretation the rash says the word comes from the word means a reservoir of water or a flow a is a is a river of flow so the word BR implicitly includes Hashem all blessing flows from you so maybe this person did this thing for me or maybe I think the universe provided that thing for me but I realize that wherever I think it's coming from they're just your agent they're just your Ambassador really you are the reservoir of all blessing in truth all blessing ultimately really is coming is coming from you we just read is that multiplicity and abundance God doesn't give out blessings sparingly God gives it out we are able to receive it we benefit we enjoy it we love it with a sense of a multiplicity of blessings that's the word what's the next word in a every good say it out loud half of this is an honor of you say it out loud says also comes to the word bar which means your thigh your knee that we defer we bow God I defer to you so I think I'm the head honcho I'm the CEO of life I've got all the answers I've made all this money I'm responsible for all this success but now I'm going to have a sip of water and I have to bow to you because you know with all my success and all my achievement and all of my thinking I'm right and I have the right perspective on everything well you know what I wouldn't have this cup of water without you I turned on the faucet and water came out you don't make a br on taking a shower but water came out of the shower you understand what a blessed time we're living in that we don't have to go down to a well with a bucket of water and heat it to take the bath we're going to take once a month or once a year because how difficult it is to have access to flowing running water this such a blessing that we have water we have water to drink and we're not worried about the the level of the sea and will we have enough and desalinating and so on and so forth what a so on a cup of water I say I'm not just saying thank you because I'm so thirsty it's a hot BCA summer day I just walked to sh I'm par walked home from sh I'm pared I'm thirsty I'm dehydrating and a Gish ice cold water that absolutely cools me off and nourishes me and hydrates me wow it all comes from you that BR on the cup of water is also a br that when I turned on the faucet the water flowed from the shower and I didn't have to jump in and jump out cuz I had 20 seconds because there's a a uh shortage of water I was able to stand under a hot shower as long as I wanted and I was able to cook with as much water as I needed and Sh all the water so the word BR could also come from the word which means no matter how big of a hot shot I think I am no matter how accomplished how much I've achieved how smart no matter who I am what I've amassed what I've accumulated this cup of water wouldn't be here without you I got to bow down I bend I defer and I recognize however much I think I'm responsible I defer to you you're the senior partner the second word in every bra what's the second word in every BR that was not a trick question which is what does it mean that's a big deal talking to God in first person you upon says that is wondrous that is enormous the fact that hem invites us to refer to him as you as you bless all blessing comes not we don't say in third person to asem from Hashem we have a notion of Torah people refer to the rebi in third person rebi this rebbi that do rebbi want a cup of water does the rebi the rebi the rashash the r rebi in third person people talk about people will talk to some dignitary and honored person in third person to give respect in general it's a great sign of respect what an honor to meet the president whatever what an honor to meet the Prime Minister whatever what an honor to meet I don't know someday again we'll live in a time when it'll be an honor to meet a president or a prime minister whatever what an honor to meet past presidents past prime ministers future president what so you're not going to say what an honor to meet you what an honor to meet the president Mr President thank you for having me you don't say you and yet despite those Human Relationships demanding the difference of third person Hashem invites us to say because we're his children you don't even though there's a here too but you don't a Cas you have a casual relationship with a parent would would would ABA like something to drink would ABA like something but ABA lik something to drink ABA just wants you to listen to him that's all and we we'll be happy with that but you because you're my child we have a casual comfortable relationship hasem says you're my child we have a casual comfortable relationship he invites us to use you and that is that's something which is enormous next you are the source of all blessing i defer to you I bend at my knee you are REO you are an abundance of blessing you are all blessing flows from you you Hashem hasem now Hashem is spelled and then a hey and then a then a he I'm not going to start dancing to now but then then then then he which has in it at its root what are you supposed to think about when you say the name of God that we pronounce as right the name of God in the context of Torah will say his name that when we say what are you supposed to be thinking about we have God has a lot of nicknames each one is supposed to elicit from us a different feeling a different connection a different relationship what do we think about when we say so the way it's spelled he at its root has he was he is and he will be that's mindboggling no matter how old the oldest person we know but we know they weren't always here and no matter how much we feel we may live forever we know that we're already dying from the day we're born so to think that there is a being who was who is and who will be he's outside of time he's not bound by time he's infinite we don't even understand what that means it's beyond our comprehension because everyone and everything that we relate to operates and is bound by time so we don't even understand in fact the ramban points out when we talk about God we can't talk about what he is we only talk about what he's not we can't relate to what he is so we just say he's not bound by time he's not bound by space what does it mean to be beyond space I have no idea what does it mean to be Beyond time I have no idea I just know those who are bound by time and he's not us he's not that thing and that's what we're supposed to be thinking about then then yeah he was he is he will be unlike everyone and everything I know the second law of Thermodynamics is entropy it means that order goes to disorder that's why the food is delicious this morning but eat it in 3 days from now and it'll be moldy and spoiled and rotten and that's why we humans the older we get we start getting a little moldy and spoiled and rotten we age we age on the outside and on the inside and some in their attitude and personality but we age entropy the world order goes to disorder Time Has Its impact on everyone and everything nobody including Walt Disney who froze himself but nobody has been able to conquer the impact of time time causes Decay time causes compromise it corrupts and it compromises so no one's been able to conquer time nobody but there's only one being who operates outside of time so we can't identify or relate to what it is all we can think about is what it's not and what it's not is what we know the impact of of time so that's number one this is also really important in that name of God in that name of is the notion that not only is he not only does he exist but he's he is he Wills everything into existence we wouldn't be here without God we're only here we're only here we're up to m in the sit Snippets I skipped last night I take off like one night a week but we skipped last night in it we say one of theim one of the phrases in m is be so no I forgot who I saw says our whole life if we're here it's beard so no it's only because God wills it God signed off on it someone still has a job we signed off on it the bank let you take the loan someone signed off on it the things that we have in life the blessings we have in life someone had to sign off and our very being here our mere existence is only because God has signed off on it he's willed it he's allowed it he's given us license to live and if he wants to revoke that license if he stops will it we stop living so he is he is he is the source of all that exists the balat the AL talks about it with the following mush the following imagery if I told you to all close your eyes and picture a red car picture a red car close your eyes close your eyes picture a red car does everyone see the red car everyone's seeing different red cars but you see the hood and the shape the angle of the hood what the headlights look like you see the back how big is the trunk and doesn't have one of those uh things on top of it aerodynamic things on top of it with the back headlights what is the the I don't even know how to describe cars be you picturing a red car picture red car does the red car exist the image of a red car does it exist okay now open your eyes and come back to your bagel and salad and uh tuna fish and sipping your coffee and stop thinking about the red car does the red car continue to exist yes yes no no it because it is an image which is the result of your imagination it exists as long as you imagine it but the moment that you cease to imagine it the image disappears theb says that metaphor is exactly what we are to Hashem Theon has the most vivid imagination he's only he's all that really exists anything else that exists is an image in his imagination we are living in The Matrix we are an illusion really Hashem is that background computer screen the green numbers running K God the almighty is all that really exists and we are that Matrix that illusion we are the image in his Mind's Eye so to say so just like a human being so long as they imagine the image the image exists and when they stop to imagine the image stopped to exist so too so no we're only here as long as God wills it he imagines it he signs off off on it and the second he stops we're gone not just we're gone that the distinct human being passes away doesn't Merit to wake up that morning we're gone as if the whole as in the whole world is gone the whole world is gone right a mile closer to the Sun a l mile further from the Sun we're all gone God Wills us to cease existing it wouldn't be hard for that to happen if he stops imagining us we're gone so when we think that word every time we say we say that means I have a casual comfortable relationship with hem I'm able to talk to him directly where you are you will be and you will everything that exists into existence the purpose of a therefore says R is in the moment I say the BR I'm absolutely nullifying and submitting myself to you God after I make the braa I go back to being me after I make the BR there's room in the world for me again I go back to work I go back to whatever I was cooking I back to the conversation I was having I go back to the leadership I was displaying I go back to the difference I was making after I conclude the BR I go back to taking my place in the world where I have a role to play but during the BR there is no me all there is is you during the BR there's no accomplishment there's no achievement there's no Drive there's no status there's no honor there's no all all there is is you you Hashem you are the source the master of absolutely everything you fill the whole world this very deep the only other time that we have to think that this definition of that word the name forem is when we say God you are the the way we pronounce has the root ad you are the master I think I'm the master I think I'm in charge I'm the president I'm the CEO I'm the director I'm the chief R I think I'm in charge no no no no while I'm making a br and I'm realizing I don't I don't have any of this without you I don't have there's plenty of people smarter than me they don't have this there's plenty of people more charismatic than me they don't have this so is it my Charisma and my smarts that caused me to have it it's you you signed off on it and I'm deferring to you and I'm submitting to you and I'm nullifying myself in your presence for this moment there is no me all there is is you and because you will me I'll go back to being me after the Braha but for the braa I interrupt my day maybe we'll end with this I thought we're going to do both sides of this page today but maybe we'll end with this that God when I say a br 100 times a day I'm reminding myself don't be anxious and don't be worried and don't be afraid because hashem's in charge the only time that we should have the only type of healthy anxiety is the anxiety that stimulates us to do better to do more to grow so if I'm anxious about will I produce well I better spend more time I better be better prepared that's a healthy anxiety I'm channeling a nervous energy into being a better me but an anxiety that says I did everything I could I did the best I could do and now I'm still so worried about what will be what will be with the diagnosis what will be with the flight what will be with my grandchildren what will be with the weather what will be with vacation what will be with that anxiety is actually an expression of heresy you're denying God because if you believe that we operate and live in a world where he's in charge he's the master of everything he runs and operates the entire world and everything that happens happens for a reason then you could walk through life with peace and serenity and Tranquility the Tranquility that we all crave so badly I just wrote a piece that's going to come out in mishak before pesak about how pesak which is supposed to liberate and free us instead the anxiety over preparing for PES enslaves us and robs us and depletes us of any freedom we thought we had when am I free when I'm at the farthest point from the calendar from pesak and when am I not free when I sit down to the Seder and I got to serve this huge group of people and set the table and time the food with however long these children are going to give these endless gatria and I'm free that night that's the opposite of Freedom that's shackles that's that's Relentless brutal slavery so I wrote a whole article that that's not it's up to us it's up to us the difference between being a thermostat and a thermometer a thermometer tells you what temperature it is a thermostat lets you adjust it so many of us we're very very good at being thermometers I'll tell you all about how anxious I feel how angry how envious how worried how this how that we're a thermometer you want to know how I'm feeling I can tell you exactly how I'm feeling but we don't have to just be a thermometer we have the capacity we have the controls we have the access to being a thermostat don't just know your temperature control it manipulate it lower it raise it depending what's going on in life so how do we lower the temperature of anxiety worry less how do we lower the temperature of Envy how do we lower the temperature of anger we shouldn't submit and say well that's just how I am it's my DNA it's how I was born it's who my family is that's well I have a lot to worry about if you know what I have to worry about you'd be worried too or if you knew what that person did you'd also be angry and filled with rage we we're good omers we tell you exactly how we feel and then we make every excuse in the world why we can't be a thermostat but we can we can liberate ourselves we can enter PES I know it's not even P but we can enter P we can enter P finally feeling free because the difference between being enslaved or liberated is the difference between being a thermometer or a thermostat when you know your temperature but you feel helpless to control it you're enslaved by the way others make you feel and when you're a thermostat that you realize you know what I have the controls I can't can't control people and circumstances and things around me but I can control how I feel how I react how it makes me feel I can change the temperature in my life there's nothing more liberating and you can go like a mench into pesak and into the Seder calm tranquil peaceful well rested happy fulfilled satisfied you could be a thermostat a thermometer who blames the world and the rabbis for making you so miserable or you could own up take extreme ownership and be a thermostat and say I'm going to control it in my life and one of the ways to do that we have a 100 times a day a reminder about what to do to do that that's the purpose of the may as we celebrate our 100th class together I want to thank those who've been on this journey and ride we basically say the same thing a hundred times what I just said in the last two minutes is what we say every week we've said the same message we've now said it a 100 times and we needed 100,000 more because in between the Wednesdays we forget it we get nervous and anxious and envious and angry and we forget it so it's really a self-help group it's really a a support group that we're working out our amuna muscle and we're trying to grow to remember that we're not in charge we can control our feelings and our lives we can achieve that Tranquility that peace and that happiness and the means to do it is 100 bras a day so happy H 100th class continue to enjoy more food thank you to all the sponsors and may we the result of our 100 bras a day help us feel closer to Hashem