Part 1

child was sitting at home and he gets a phone call in the house and the caller says may I speak to your parents please and the child says my parents are not available so the caller says okay is anyone else in the house the child says actually the police department are here so the caller says okay may I speak to them please the child says they're not available either so the caller says okay is there anyone else there the child says the fire department is here so the caller says uh may I speak to them please and the child says well they're not either available so the caller is really exasperated says you're telling me that your parents the police department the fire department they're all in the house and no one's available what are they all so busy with and the child says well they're looking for me children children are really impossible but uh I'd like to present to you possibly an approach that will guide and help you understand children a little better and uh contribute to success in raising children before that let's examine what causes one child to be happy fulfilled to be a well adjusted wholesome child while on the other hand another child could suffer from dysfunction depression and fall victim to substance abuse and all the terrible vices and really go off the beaten path off the D what is it all about and really there are many determinants there's not just one there are many determinant that could contribute to the outcome of a child's either success or failure there are many determinant one determin to school if a child is being bullied in school if a child's frightened to go to school if a child goes to a class and the child is a high achiever and he's not being stimulated in the class or he's not having extracurricular activities or enrichment he feels stifled that could really be something terrible if the teacher is a condescending teacher that berates a child or demeans a child that's a horrible horrible thing for a child or could really cause a child to eventually go off technology if a child goes ahead and goes online on the internet one click on the internet could run a child or even an adult's certainly a child's life in neighborhood and friends if a child falls into the wrong click of friends those friends could bring the down the child terribly and then of course there learning disabilities learning disabilities if a child is frustrated child is humiliated because a child can't learn according to the level of the peers that's also really really really devastating and disastrous and delerious for the growth of the child however all those determinants aside there's still one single greatest determinant that will really determine the outcome of your child and contribute to the child's success or failure and that is the two most important people in the child's life I'm speaking about the child's parents there's no one more important to the child and the child's parents the child is a composite both genetically and psychologically a composite of the parent and that's why the maral says that y thees the Hebrew word for child is 10 L is 30 and is four it equals 44 because yel is the byproduct yellow is the extension of the a a is Olive phas is three father aim his mother is 41 Al and M M is 41 3 and 41 is 44 yell it is 44 because the child is the product of the surroundings of the parents the more love the more consistency the more stability that the parents provide in the house the more of a chance that child will be stable will be consistent and will be raised to become a healthy productive adult but it's dependent on the parents and the same way a plant needs oxygen sunlight and water to to grow and to be a healthy vibrant plant a child the principal and primary ingredient in the child's life is love the child needs love love means physical contact it means hugging and kissing it's very important for a child to get it's good for their sensory development and it's good for their confidence esteem to get love and it's also verbal of emotional love to tell your child I love you you could say it numerous times they I love you I care about you you mean the world to me there's nothing more precious nothing more valuable to me you could tell me anything in this world I will not judge you I am your parent that loves you there's nothing more important than love as a matter of fact in yish and Judaism we believe that love is so crucial that it is love that brings Hashem that brings God's presence to God into our homes as a matter of fact the Tris said that how do you make Hashem through that's why the P actually says what makes hem what brings God down into your life into your home when you love one another how is that because when one loves another it means there the two people loving each other when a parent loves a child and the child loves a parent you have a and AA coming together a Al of is 13 Al of is 13 13 13 is 26 that's that's a tet that's God's name when there's love there's God if you want to know how God's going to judge you how God the master of the universe will judge you in your life it's commensurate how much you love others but particularly of course how much you love your children because starts at home kindness and love starts with your own children of course your spouse and your children it's important actually that your parents as parents I'm sorry it's important that your children see a loving relationship amongst the spouses that they see you talking to one another that they see the empathy they see the compassion that they see the real love between spouses say when you love one another that is how I'm like you treat others that's how I am going to be Hashem in your life you want to know how I I judge you you want to know why things occur and transpire in your life it depends on how much love you give that's how important love is in a relationship so let's discuss let's examine a father's role and a mother's role in a child's life fathers of olive Bays that means that the father is the Olive Bays the building blocks the ABC of the child's life many people think the father doesn't contribute too much in the per in the growth and development of a child it couldn't be further from the truth that's a tremendous misconception and a misnomer a father is exceeding exceedingly pivotal in child's development the father contributes gives a child that stamina the esteem the confidence the structure the foundation the fortitude and the mother the mother's Al of me Al of me alive is the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet of ol Bas me is the middle letter of Al Bas but visibly and patently miss is the sufff because usually Olive M comes together with the sufff because the sufff is the last letter Olive represents the past me represents the middle the present and self represents the future but the mom she imbus she inculcates she imparts and conveys the love a preciousness and a conviction to the child giving that child that sense enveloping that child in the sense of confidence but the sense of security of warmth so the child is bridged from the past the values from the past and now to the present but a mother that coddles a mother that suffocates a mother that's overbearing and overwhelming the child is no good because the mother has to equip the child with the tools the wings to be able to fly healthy and happy and not to overwhelm or be overbearing to that child and that's why the stff is missing the future because the future is the child and that's why it says m a child is called a yeled y y theology the Shish of the word yel the root is do D meaning dependent every child is dependent child can't function without the parents of course the diap for changing in the feeding but the child needs a parent but it's the objective of the parent a good healthy emotionally sound parent to take that child and eventually wean that child off the depy to become a gal gal means a contraction of G weaning off the dependency so the child could fly on their own and become a healthy productive happy fulfilled adult but it's all up to the parents as a matter of fact there Empirical research that corroborates this the center on addiction and substance abuse from Columbia University shows conclusively that the more love that a child has the more a child has the parents in the Life family time spent together the less a child will be prone to substance means drugs alcohol and cigarettes however conversely the less a parent spends with the child that child has more more great and stronger chance of getting on drugs alcohol and cigarette smoking I want to conclude with an idea the name of you heard directly from the b b said like this B said a soul could descend to this world a person could come on to planet Earth for 70 80 may even maybe even 90 years all for one one one objective for one mission for one top for one purpose to just impact one person's life to do one how much more so then that a person could descent to this world to be able to cultivate and to be able to persevere and to be able to take care of one child to give that child the necessary love that they need to achieve that parent could achieve the parents tkid and Tik in life so let's work on this together let's really strive to create loving homes where spouses love one another and where the house is a loving home where you bring down the of an and when that house has the consistency and stability because you remember your child the yell it is the oven name is the product of the oven name and together with teamwork a husband and wife the two parents could really really enable that child to grow up into a guttle that in turn will be the B most amazing and best parent to his or her children thank you for listening