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What Every Parent Needs to Know. Part 1: Why do Children Go off?
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child was sitting at home and he gets a
phone call in the house and the caller
says may I speak to your parents please
and the child says my parents are not
available so the caller says okay is
anyone else in the house the child says
actually the police department are here
so the caller says okay may I speak to
them please the child says they're not
available either so the caller says okay
is there anyone else there the child
says the fire department is here so the
caller says uh may I speak to them
please and the child says well they're
not either available so the caller is
really exasperated says you're telling
me that your parents the police
department the fire department they're
all in the house and no one's available
what are they all so busy with and the
child says well they're looking for me
children children are really impossible
but uh I'd like to present to you
possibly an approach that will guide and
help you understand children a little
better
and uh contribute to success in raising
children before that let's examine what
causes one child to be happy fulfilled
to be a well adjusted wholesome child
while on the other hand another child
could suffer from dysfunction depression
and fall victim to substance abuse and
all the terrible vices and really go off
the beaten path off the D what is it all
about and really there are many
determinants there's not just one there
are many determinant that could
contribute to the outcome of a child's
either success or failure there are many
determinant one determin to school if a
child is being bullied in school if a
child's frightened to go to school if a
child goes to a class and the child is a
high achiever and he's not being
stimulated in the class or he's not
having extracurricular activities or
enrichment he feels stifled that could
really be something terrible if the
teacher is a condescending teacher that
berates a child or demeans a child
that's a horrible horrible thing for a
child or could really cause a child to
eventually go off technology if a child
goes ahead and goes online on the
internet one click on the internet could
run a child or even an adult's certainly
a child's life in neighborhood and
friends if a child falls into the wrong
click of friends those friends could
bring the down the child terribly and
then of course there learning
disabilities learning disabilities if a
child is frustrated child is humiliated
because a child can't learn according to
the level of the peers that's also
really really really devastating and
disastrous and delerious for the growth
of the child however all those
determinants aside there's still one
single greatest determinant that will
really determine the outcome of your
child and contribute to the child's
success or failure and that is the two
most important people in the child's
life I'm speaking about the child's
parents there's no one more important to
the child and the child's parents the
child is a composite both genetically
and psychologically a composite of the
parent and that's why the maral says
that y thees the Hebrew word for
child is 10 L is 30 and is four it
equals 44 because yel is the byproduct
yellow is the extension of the a a is
Olive phas is three father aim his
mother is 41 Al and M M is 41 3 and 41
is 44 yell it is 44 because the child is
the product of the surroundings of the
parents the more love the more
consistency the more stability that the
parents provide in the house the more of
a chance that child will be stable will
be consistent and will be raised to
become a healthy productive adult but
it's dependent on the parents and the
same way a plant needs oxygen sunlight
and water to to grow and to be a healthy
vibrant plant a child the principal and
primary ingredient in the child's life
is love the child needs love love means
physical contact it means hugging and
kissing it's very important for a child
to get it's good for their sensory
development and it's good for their
confidence esteem to get love and it's
also verbal of emotional love to tell
your child I love you you could say it
numerous times they I love you I care
about you you mean the world to me
there's nothing more precious nothing
more valuable to me you could tell me
anything in this world I will not judge
you I am your parent that loves you
there's nothing more important than love
as a matter of fact in yish and Judaism
we believe that love is so crucial that
it is love that brings Hashem that
brings God's presence to God into our
homes as a matter of fact the Tris said
that how do you make Hashem
through that's why the P actually
says what makes hem what brings God down
into your life into your home when you
love one another how is that because
when one loves another it means there
the two people loving each other when a
parent loves a child and the child loves
a parent you have a and AA coming
together a Al of is 13 Al of is 13 13 13
is 26
that's that's a tet that's God's name
when there's love there's
God if you want to know how God's going
to judge you how God the master of the
universe will judge you in your life
it's commensurate how much you love
others but particularly of
course how much you love your children
because starts at home kindness and love
starts with your own children of course
your spouse and your children it's
important actually that your parents as
parents I'm sorry it's important that
your children see a loving relationship
amongst the spouses that they see you
talking to one another that they see the
empathy they see the compassion that
they see the real love between spouses
say when you love one
another that is how I'm like you treat
others that's how I am going to be
Hashem in your life you want to know how
I I judge you you want to know why
things occur and transpire in your life
it depends on how much love you give
that's how important love is in a
relationship so let's discuss let's
examine a father's role and a mother's
role in a child's life fathers of olive
Bays that means that the father is the
Olive Bays the building blocks the ABC
of the child's life many people think
the father doesn't contribute too much
in the per in the growth and development
of a child it couldn't be further from
the truth that's a tremendous
misconception and a misnomer a father is
exceeding exceedingly pivotal in child's
development the father contributes gives
a child that stamina the esteem the
confidence the structure the foundation
the
fortitude and the mother the mother's Al
of me Al of me alive is the first letter
of the Hebrew alphabet of ol Bas me is
the middle letter of Al Bas but visibly
and patently miss is the sufff because
usually Olive M comes together with the
sufff because the sufff is the last
letter Olive represents the past me
represents the middle the present and
self represents the future but the mom
she imbus she inculcates she imparts and
conveys the love a preciousness and a
conviction to the child giving that
child that sense enveloping that child
in the sense of confidence but the sense
of security of warmth so the child is
bridged from the past the values from
the past and now to the present but a
mother that coddles a mother that
suffocates a mother that's overbearing
and overwhelming the child is no good
because the mother has to equip the
child with the tools the wings to be
able to fly healthy and happy and not to
overwhelm or be overbearing to that
child and that's why the stff is missing
the future because the future is the
child and that's why it says m a child
is called a yeled y y theology the Shish
of the word yel the root is do D meaning
dependent every child is dependent child
can't function without the parents of
course the diap for changing in the
feeding but the child needs a parent but
it's the objective of the parent a good
healthy emotionally sound parent to take
that child and eventually wean that
child off the depy to become a gal gal
means a contraction of G weaning off the
dependency so the child could fly on
their own and become a healthy
productive happy fulfilled adult but
it's all up to the parents as a matter
of fact there Empirical research that
corroborates this the center on
addiction and substance abuse from
Columbia University
shows conclusively that the more love
that a child has the more a child has
the parents in the Life family time
spent together the less a child will be
prone to substance means drugs alcohol
and cigarettes however conversely the
less a parent spends with the child that
child has more more great and stronger
chance of getting on drugs alcohol and
cigarette smoking I want to conclude
with an
idea the name of you heard directly from
the b b said like this B said a soul
could descend to this world a person
could come on to planet Earth for 70 80
may even maybe even 90 years all for one
one one objective for one mission for
one top for one purpose to just impact
one person's life to do one how much
more so then that a person could descent
to this world to be able to cultivate
and to be able to persevere and to be
able to take care of one child to give
that child the necessary love that they
need to achieve that parent could
achieve the parents tkid and Tik in life
so let's work on this together let's
really strive to create loving homes
where spouses love one another and where
the house is a loving home where you
bring down the of an and when that house
has the consistency and stability
because you remember your child the yell
it is the oven name is the product of
the oven name and together with teamwork
a husband and wife the two parents could
really really enable that child to grow
up into a guttle that in turn will be
the B most amazing and best parent to
his or her children thank you for
listening