Parshat Vayigash: Yaakov’s Pain By Rabbi Ari Kahn

on the very top of the almost the very top it says the sh sponsored by Elana and Dr Joel Katz so so Elana and Dr Joel Katz are a very nice couple who apparently discovered me I think it was during covid a lot of people discovered me during co co was very good for my career right know it was very good it was very good it was good in a lot of reasons my car had almost no mileage I traded in I'm I'm saying there Lots there was lots of ways to leverage Co yeah it was good it was excellent it was excellent I did all my teaching online I didn't have to leave the house it was it was wonderful yeah so uh so I didn't write what they wrote in the the sponsorship they noticed those of you on the group I had posted last week but there's a reason I posted it I posted it was only because there was a Beatle song If I Were 63 or 6 5 or 66 I would not have posted it this is uh this I just you know I I can't uh ignore such opportunities so uh so that that's how it happened because generally I really don't celebrate or even commemorate my uh I don't know what to call today do you call it a Gregorian birthday or a Facebook birthday I don't know it's uh yeah it's fa it's fa I mean that that's that's what it is but um but yeah so I noted it so then they said oh it's your birthday and Sonica we want to express and we want to express our appreciation so that already is a good thing for people for people to express appreciation is a very good very authentic Jewish thing so that that I was ready to encourage but I didn't want to write all that down but uh but none nonetheless as I said appreciation is good and but but I just want to flip that around for a second because I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that the the ideas that I come up with preparing for a Shear are in the Merit of the people who are going to listen to it and it's not and if I were just sitting in a room and learning by myself and there was never any kind of uh an audience then there would most certainly not be the same kind of quote unquote site dhaya whereby one uh can see or understand things now this's a second point every now and then you know somebody will like something that I said I'm sorry I'm being s self-absorbed or today but um every now and then someone ask me you know oh how long did it take you to prepare that so if my wife is next to me so she always laughs so the truth is the truth is that I start every week I start if I can B Sunday morning I do on Sunday morning and once I'm done with that as I'm doing that then I'm already processing which things I want to come back to things which things I want to look at so again that that's so technically I start preparing to beginning of the week on Sunday morning that's technically but um but it's not true because if anybody ever asked and she's there she goes well you know he's been preparing for the last 45 50 years for for and that's true that that's actually true but today it's going to be more true than other times because at some point in my preparation this week and fairly late along the line I I came to the realization that there was a Shear that I heard um probably around 1982 83 that had impacted what I'm going to say today so as I said that that didn't happen toward till towards the end when I got to my conclusion I said oh that's really where that's coming from but I'll I'll explain as we go so if you're trying to figure out who Shear I heard in 1982 or 1983 so the answer was it was a Shear on par and it was a Shear by Rabbi salivic those of you who never heard the story or don't know about this I'm going to say it again and the story is that he gave a Kish here on Wednesday nights he he lived in Boston he came to New York he would come in at some point on Tuesday and go back at some point on Thursday Tuesday nights for many many years he had a garish year where lots of rabbis and some late people went but that was uh that was a Maria that went on for at least 40 years who was in the Mariah shore on the upper west side and then on Wednesdays at some point he started a Kish here the background for the Maser is uh as I uh have revealed in the past that one night in the mid to late 7s he was in his apartment his wife had passed away in ' 67 so there are a number of yiva guys who were looking after him and at one point he looks up and goes what are you guys doing here and they're and and they're what do you mean what you doing here and Reby we're here to help you I mean what greater thing was there to do in this world then to be somebody who can help R salivic but he goes no no no why are you here why aren't you home with your wives he goes reie we're not married we're we're B we're single he goes well why are you single and he goes and one of them says listen it's not so easy to meet girls and this is still American Orthodoxy I guess uh modern or Centrist Orthodox prob in the in the late 70s and they said that we don't go on sh dates but we're also not going to just hang out in front of stern college and pick up girls so we're kind of stuck we're stuck in the middle so he thinks for a couple seconds says listen I'll tell you what I'm going to do announced I'm going to have a a Kish here on Wednesdays and we'll invite all the girls from Stern and the girls from Columbia Barnard whatever everybody can come I'll get the girls in the room but you have to walk over afterwards and introduce yourselves and talk to them and that's and that's how and why his K began was in order to help his students have a chance of getting married and some of them was quite challenging so um I'm saying that's the background but the shear I'm talking about as far as I know was was the final one that he gave because he was getting older and he was and it wasn't easy for him to do the quote unquote extra things other than the main teaching that he was you know coming down to New York for and there were some elements of this first of all let me just say it like this the the gorier was very very different from some other public lectures that he gave the Rev was a masterful performer and uh by the way he has that's that's one thing he does have in Comon with Jonathan saaks I mean both of them could have been on the stage but um I mean easily but for salvic it was just a tool that he used and he didn't use it during his garish year dur the garia we learned we learned kamorra and you would not have known that it was that same kind of performance or that for that matter the same kind of language or vocabulary um for that matter in the regular garish year he didn't bring any secular things in he didn't bring any kind of references from uh from philosophical from the secular philosophy World whatsoever so now we'll get back this is something he said in the she but when he said it it was really quite dramatic and I can still hear him saying it so as I said this took all week for me to realize what I was doing I'm not saying what he said except for maybe one or two sentences but nonetheless as I said that was a realization good let's uh let's learn La last week we ended it was really quite dramatic whoever divided the partio did a wonderful job keep keeping our our attention all week the brothers are in trouble this mysterious Egyptian who apparently has had it out for them for a while has now uh now has not just the upper hand because he always has had the upper hand but now he can do with them as they want and again I'm repeating things that we've said in the past maybe even as recently as last week what exactly is Joseph's plan it's not that easy for somebody who reads this through wants or it's not that easy even for the protagonist in the story to figure out what what is it that yoseph wants if yoseph wanted pure Revenge they were far more efficient devastating things that he could have done so let's get out of the way in order to strengthen that as I've always pointed out is that he was a protege of the sarim of the chief executioner in Egypt he was in the prison for many years we'll just put it like that he knows people he knows people he knows methods he knows how to if it's Revenge that he wants he could exact Revenge beyond our imagination what he could do to them if that's what he chose and he doesn't that's not what he does that's not the path that he takes so let let's push that out of the way on the other hand there are those and maybe the the chief speaker rosadin is the ramban who says something which is quite difficult at least at face value and the ran says that the motivation of ysf is the dreams must come true the dreams must come true now I can argue the dreams do come true and I can argue the dreams don't come true and I'm going to go in the second way today but as far as theond is concerned the first Dream comes true and very simply they they come looking for food so therefore their their sheaves are bowing down to his sheaves and that's that's a really fair interpretation what the ran then seems to continue with is that once the the dreams the first Dream comes true now he has to facilitate for the second dream to come true now the problem with this is to use some Modern Words which are not nice is that it makes yose seem incredibly narcissistic which means his dreams coming true are more important than any than the well-being of anybody around him specifically his father has uh has no food and his father is now going to be worried to death and as much as our generation of teenagers or young people like to use the word triggering you have to warn them that it's going to trigger something I try to explain to my students that in Israel triggering means something very different right right okay so Yakov who's lost one son and now is going to lose the second son or close to losing a second son or maybe potential losing a third son or maybe lose all of the sons and Y is in the background doing this we all have to appreciate something really difficult so essentially what we just now did is the ramban and's response to the raban and there are others as well and and what one has to say according to the raban and even this is not necessarily enough is that for ysep it's not a question of a dream for ysep it's a question of Prophecy that just like his uh just like Abraham has prophecies when he sleeps R up most notably his father specifically sees the vision of the latter in his sleep he falls asleep he has the stream so therefore fos if dreams are akin to prophecy and therefore God is saying something by the way I'm going to say it again that's not necessarily enough because even if the prophecy do you need them to make it into a self-fulfilling prophecy or let God deal with the prophecies which again is really where the tries to take us so I'm going to leave all that because I think that there is something else which he is uh concerned with [Music] famously I I didn't count but it's dozens of Ron him or troubled and Aon by the way but dozens of Ron him all ask the same question who was the first one I don't know I think it emanates from the school of tovot and they asked this question why is that over the years Yosef has never taken action to reach out towards his father and all kinds of answers then are offered to try to explain that in modern times of Yin very famously wrote an essay and has spoken about it about how one could reverse the question and say why why has yakob never reached out to Yosef which has an obvious answer because he thinks that ysep is dead but does ysep know that Yakov thinks that he's dead or what does ysep know about The Narrative of going on in the family and he believes that that was the subtext taking place over here um last week or two weeks ago somebody who apparently has been listening for a while wrote to me and he sent me a source that uh there was somebody who beat Rin into that also modern times R mashash there are two R mashes who were related one was Chief Rabbi of Kaa the other was Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem so this is Rabbi Shalom mashash who was the chief Rabbi of Jerusalem so he beat the old been noon by a number of years and he went down the same path and he asked the same thing one now could Wonder just like I said that I heard a lecture from her by solvic many years ago did y hear a lecture when he was a kid from mas and did it go someplace in his head so therefore uh the name of the book is actually it's the last Source I gave you but I didn't give you that page I gave you a couple Pages later it's called Mas so um I went and I looked it up and I found the book and indeed he says this and it goes on for pages about this I I I'm going to say it again I don't think it's a simple approach I don't think it fits into who ysf is I think ysf is far more confident I think ysf is somebody who doesn't question this his father really like him out he knows his father likes him let's go the other way around every single thing that yoseph does from the moment the brothers come is done with Precision it's done with thought and it's done with purpose and I know that one can argue especially when we get to this week that ysep finally just it's emotions which carry him and there are a number of times ysep also is an interesting character who on the one hand speaks about God more than anybody else but he also cries more than anybody else Y ysep is very interesting and yoseph does break down in tears and he has to compose himself which means that ysep indeed has a plan plan that he wants to get to and he doesn't want to stop too soon of course for us the larger question is does he ever get to the end of the plan which means when he stops in this week's par and he reveals himself is that premature or is that more or less where he wants to get to so I I want to try to get really close to that now let's start all over again any of us who were either and please don't be insulted either fortunate enough or unfortunate enough to have gone to a a the reason why it's fortunate because we got an education the reason why sometimes it's unfortunate is because we got the type of education that we did so let me be clear we especially in this week's par we are well acquainted familiar with Yehuda confronting Yosef but the problem is is what we know is the Kish Rashi as imped by the midash which mean because Rashi is just Rashi is a virtuoso who is taking various midashim and plugging them into the verses that everything reads smoothly and makes sense and is compelling but you end up getting a certain perspective but what I want to do right now and again if I'll go back I I think the first time I did this was probably was around 19 or so 20 maybe is I said hold a second just take a second and said I need to read the Kish without Rashi and know what it says and just read the whole thing and say what does the Kish say and pay attention to what it says because you can't really understand the Rashi till you understand the Kish so let's let's read and this is what you're getting now is For Better or Worse you're getting my reading of it my my creative interpretation and uh I I I will read and make comments along the way but you love yud so the first thing is is this comes close is is it threatening is it belligerent or is it consolatory so I'm just asking that question and I'm letting you know already it's extremely consolatory how do I know that because he starts with and says and he calls this person Master by the way it's not going to be the only time it won't be the only time in this verse that he's going to use that term he's right away setting the relationship but Adon just stop right there can your Ser Master can your servant by the way that's all that's really interesting why is it interesting it's interesting in terms of what yehuda's objective is and it's interesting in terms of what already has been said twice so let's go back to our wonderful capability of negotiations because we find ourselves to be very very clever and we think we're really good at negotiations I'm sure if we'll speak about our International ability to negotiate with other countries we may not have done as well as or terrorist organizations we may not have done as well as we think we have I mean generally unilateral un unilateral peace treaties don't generally work so as soon as the brothers were stopped because the cup was missing their statement was Whoever has it shall die and the rest of us will be slaves I hope you all realize there's an absurdity in that so what you know we have suggested in the past and this is firmly is based on the madash that part of what Yosef was trying to do and it's a setup and and here I just want to go back to the setup from the beginning from the initially yose says to them all the way all the way in the beginning he says you're spies we're no we're honest people y yoseph says you're not your spies and as we' suggested ysep was really ysep the greatest pastor aggressive was trying to get them to admit that they were looking for him and he would love to believe that that's what they want but that's what they're doing and and he he he's basically says that but uh they ignore it and then he says fine all of you are going to be put into prison which hopefully is going to help generate some kind of uh response in there and and by the way unless you're again that there's something wrong with you these brothers have some guilt again collectively I want you to don't don't tell me now go home and count how many of the Ten Commandments have they broken by this point I know it's not nice to say but uh they're doing pretty well I'm going to give again assum you want to break all of them they're doing pretty well in terms of breaking the Ten Commandments and uh the one the ones that you're forgetting about right now you want to say honoring parents do you want to say anything about idolatry does Yakov tell them get rid of all of your Idols when they get when they get to betel do you want to keep on going kidnapping that's that's a good one murder that's that one's pretty good again keep on going elicit sexual relations okay that's pretty good so what are we up to right now so and something really really complicated happened all they did was go shopping like you go shopping you hope to get your groceries and go home they go shopping they want to get their groceries next thing they know they're all in prison and they recognize it they recognize especially Egypt because that's where Yosef was sent they recognize it and this is part of what Yos was doing and then he switches first he says one will go and then the others will stay behind and then with that explanation he switches it by the way along the way he says and I Fear God he switches as and a one will stay behind and the rest if you go so is that supposed to generate some kind of a collective memory did we ever leave a brother behind before and just for good measure what does he do he puts money in their bags do they ever leave with money in their bags but with a brother behind but good news is we got money bad news we lost a brother which brother okay maybe this is okay anyway it's all for the best but now again the same thing is taking place and when they unpack the bags and they find all of this money they are absolutely horrified now there is again Yos acts on so many levels and one level is they're going to think we stole this they're going to think we're dishonest which is the same which is exactly what yse been accusing them and now how are we going to go back now what's great then is the second setup do you remember the second setup second setup is when they get back and they get very frightened should we find this if you look in um sorry we're skipping a lot a lot a lot a lot over here yeah take a look at source three which is peric M gimmel and they were again the second time online they had brought they were really frightened they were brought to y's house which again is different from everyone else and they said it's because of the money the reason why we're being arrested now is because of the money that was missing then so what is their great fear they're articulated what is the great fear that they're going to rob us going to take everything from us and they're going to turn us into slaves interesting they're going to turn us into slaves be the re I'm I'm honing in on that point keep it in mind their fear is we're going to become slaves because later they offer it at least three different times to become slaves so one second now they try to explain we've been here before to get food and when we got to the hotel if you want to the place we rested along the way and we opened our bags by the way they're not being truthful now do you see why subtle along the way in the hotel only one of them found the money in their bag the rest of them didn't find the money in the bags till they got back to yov but um in most of what is said when they speak they don't tell the truth all of our money was there and that's why we're trying to bring it back now we brought new money to get food that's true we don't know who put the money in the bags what's the answer shalom Don't Be Afraid said your God and the god of your fathers has given you a treasure has given you a present this is divine now now if you're them how do you respond to this first of you can't say anything but do you believe it let me say a little differently do you you believe that you were deserving of divine grace and divine compassion that God right I'm I'm going back to what their state of mind is are they and this guy said no no God put this in now do you realize why this is a setup because afterwards when the cup is going to be in there by the way it wasn't just the cup later on it's the cup and all the money again right the the money kind of gets lost in the story The Cup and all the money was there the next time as well and if now they accept that God put it in their bag and they're saying well we didn't do this now what do they now have to admit along the same lines that God put it in their bag see you missed it that God put it in their bag and now therefore that they're deserving of punishment because if a moment ago they're willing to accept that God gave them a present that means that now God has given them a punishment which means as much as they want to say that you know we didn't do this we don't know what goes on funny Customs over here and I say customs in terms of taxes you know you go through customs and you end up with more things than you had when you started so know this is just not the way that things are supposed to work but if they accepted all the money back now as a gift from God but even as a thought a gift from God Even's as a possibility because what are they supposed to think what's the answer I have no idea what they're supposed to think I I'm serious I have no idea what they're supposed to think at this point probably they're really quite confused but okay we know it's not we know we didn't take it by the way I assume they all trust one another we assume that none of us took it now you see I just point hold it do we ever trust okay okay now another doubt of that assuming we all trust one another we didn't do this somebody else did this is this an accident is this on purpose are they trying and again what are they saying oh this all happened they bring us in this is all a set up because they want to capture us and turn us into slaves that's the great fear great fear is we're going to be we all of our possessions taken away we will be turned into slaves so what's now really ironic is as soon as they find the thing again what's the first thing that they say oh Whoever has it will die and the rest of us will be slaves if that's the fear then why in the world are you bringing your fear up as the worst thing unless of course there's another possibility and that other possibility is that maybe they believe that they deserve to be punished here come come come here come here back back back back back maybe that they deserve to be punished and that may actually be the most important element which is taking place over here good because you deserve to be punished why because at some point the things that you've done is going to catch up on you so now let's keep something in mind initially one more time their fear is that they will be slaves their offer is kill the one and now we we've discussed that as well why say kill the person because that's what yakob did the last time that they had the same scene and again yoseph knows this precisely and yoseph is manipulating this when Loven tracked them down and said you know you stole my Tru in and then Yakov says Whoever has it shall die so therefore they're doing the same thing but what they're doing the same thing I don't think it's because they really thought about it it's kind of this they're in the same situation they're under pressure and therefore they throw out the same response the addition though and the rest will be slaves why should the rest be slaves if one person did this again pick any brother that you want you want to pick binyamin pick binyamin if bam did this why should the rest of them be slaves okay forget bam if naali did this why if nul did this why should the rest of them be slaves I'm just saying it makes no sense unless of course there's something else which is taking place and then what's the response that yosef's agent says to them no no no no actually he says as you said the one who did it will be a slave and the rest will go free total disconnect over there but that so now what's on what is the offer the offer is one slave rest of you go free they go through all the bags they find it to be's bag all the people tear their clothing and they say you know God F our guilt and they said and then Y and then Yehuda speaks and Yuda said we'll all be slaves and let's yoseph no the one who did it will be a slave and the rest you go free so I'm going to say it again the negotiations aren't great so so far the fear is to be slaves they've offered twice to be slaves and now the third time y Yehuda is about to offer to be a slave for the third time do you kind of get the feeling that Yehuda doesn't want to go home okay I I I I want that to stay with you because there really isn't any other okay in my mind there really isn't any other possibility over here Yuda does not want to go home so just keep this in mind because he's the one who again against logic has said this now a number of times now pay attention what is you H to want he wants to be a slave why does he want to be a slave because he doesn't want to go home so how do we start by youan Source number one my master your servant so look what he has now thrown into the narrative as a given you're the master I'm the servant which is the exactly the relationship that he wants and I'll say it again that if Yehuda was thinking really clearly and not all the other emotions which are taking place what he should have said if this is what his agenda was what he should have said some point by the end of last week's para is as soon as they finded B y's back could you stop a second think he said I will take responsibility for bamin if he's really taking trans bam what should he do okay what shouldn't he do he should never take his eyes off of him he shouldn't take his eyes off of his bag he shouldn't take his eyes off of his donkey he should be right there all the time 247 he should be right there why because he took responsibility how in the world they pulled this off again the same exact thing and and by the way not just the same exact thing they pulled off and they say you know well whoever did it is going to die what are you crazy this has happened before but if I was UD soon and again I have the advantage of thinking about it for 3,000 years I mean right Yehuda is on the spot he's putting pressure I would have said right away it's mine why is it in his bag well come on haven't any of you ever smuggled drugs you put it in some unsuspecting PE I mean he's the mule you put it into his bag he doesn't know about it he looked meaning come on they always catch the guy who looks guilty you know why because he looks guilty right they they're they're really good at this if anybody wants to experiment I want you to try to like smuggle things past me right you know it's in your bag and smuggle it on the other hand next time put it in someone else's bag and then see what happens right the person who doesn't look guilty is not going to be the one who's G am I helping you is not the one who's going to is not the one who's going to be stopped so therefore if I was Yehuda immediately say it was mine and I put it there because uh he didn't know about it and therefore I thought was the best way for me to smuggle it out I take full responsibility so at that point what would yosea say no the guilty one I'm the guilty one I'm saying I'm the guilty one but instead Yosef sorry instead Yehuda who may or may not even know if bamin is innocent you like that he may not even know if V is innocent I hope he believes he Innocent but then again part of the game that Yosef is playing is that when you go back to the Loven example when L and goap who was the one who stole it Rael stole this so therefore Yosef is giving them all an opportunity to say the mother was a loser the brother was a loser he's a loser let's cut off this whole part of the family and let's go home and we can all live in peace we don't need any of this so again what's taking place over here I hope is really clear but now realize what yehud is doing let's go back again we didn't get to one p yet today love yehud yehud now comes close sir can I can your servant please speak setting up the relationship that he wants to be the ongoing relationship but in the ears of my master now how is he speaking I I know the midashim as well midashim as well is that yud is going to take the house down Yehuda is belligerent Yehuda Yehuda has all this power Yehuda is gonna kill everybody how is he how is he actually speaking when he says can I speak to you privately could we have a word it is the tone of voice I I I don't know how many times I I say this I say this every week to my students the first level of interpretation is not Rashi is not unus is not the ramban the first level of interpretation is going over in your head how to read the verse how it sounds make believe that you're an actor in a in a scene read it and how what tone of voice am I using over here the tone of voice that Yehuda is using here is absolutely 100% completely consolatory consor he absolutely wants to be friendly he's taking down any pressure which exists he is making a plea there's a great deal of emotion some previous year I went through word by word and showed how much untruth is in all the things that he says here now is not the time to go through all the untruth but perhaps the emotion is true even if the words are untrue he continues so he has said Master twice now he uses the word servant the second time in the verse well don't be upset with your servant which doesn't mean I will kill you like I'm going to kill par what it means is that I respect you the same way I respect the king of the Egyptian Empire and then he goes through and he tells a wonderful tale his tale is you know you asked us if we have a father or brother okay he NE he never really asked they volunteered that fine and told you that we have an elderly father and there's a young brother again is interesting considering that P at this point has 10 children you just have to look later on in this week's par and he's the only one left and his mother loves him sorry and his father loves him now that's important if he leaves his father his father's gonna die but right but but nonetheless you said that if you don't bring him I I we can't see your face by the way he never said that either and again I I can go through the whole thing but but what they're saying is and notice at some point I mean b is never mentioned by name in this whole thing he's referred to in various ways but he's never mentioned but he quotes their father you know that my wife had two children and one left but Omar and one was ripped apart that's what I understand and I haven't seen him again and if you take this one as well andov did say that I will go to my death I will go to my death with white hair I will go down and die if I go back to your servant my father and is not with us and his soul is ripped is wrapped up with him but by the way you all know that there's another brother that his soul was wrapped up with there was another brother that he really did love so what yud to finally gets to is it's great again I believe the emotion is real the words are confused because Yehuda hasn't been truthful and sometimes when you're not truthful it's hard to keep track what you've been saying to each person but I believe the emotion is real and what he and he goes on he says I guaranteed to my father that I would bring him back and if you don't allow me to bring him back you will be killing my father because you're taking away the son from him that he loves let me be your servant which is what he's been going out the whole time instead of him let and let him go back so everything that yehud is saying till this point is again towards one point he wants to be the slave he wants to stay over here and it's a great speech Again full of emotion full of pathos full of tragedy my father's had a hard life my father again he lost his wife he lost his son and now he's going to lose another son and uh and he's gonna and and you you are torturing him so this would really be a good speech if you gave it to anyone else but giving it to Yosef and telling Yosef who is the victim that you are actually the perpetrator because my father's already lost another son should I say that again my father's already lost one son and now you're going to cause him to lose another one and uh and you know yoseph listening to this you know I'm the one who's responsible for all of this you know like which you understand why he responds but then Yehuda says something else his final thing that he says and I believe that this is completely honest and this is what I find the most troubling and it's the last verse how can I go back to my father see it's interesting and he's not with me how can I possibly go and see my father suffer like this do you realize what he just now did it's no longer about it certainly was never about Yosef it's not about bamin and it's not about yob it's going to really be hard for me to see my father suffer like that it just now became about yehud them did you hear that it's not that how could one possibly he said I don't by the way would I've been telling you the whole time he actually just now said it how can I go to my father and see him suffering like this and what is Yuda Solution please let me me stay here I don't want to go back home so I hope I've showed this to you now enough times that he has said it but now he's actually has said it I will then see all the suffering that my father is going through I can't deal with this this is too emotionally difficult for me I can't go through this so now let I don't know even know we to continue because there's so many things to say about this did did yose feel this way the first time did y feel this way after Yosef was sold sorry sorry go back did Yehuda feel this way the first time when Yosef was sold and he sees his father mourning like this is he going through the same and and and maybe yes maybe that's the unforeseen collateral damage of getting rid of yoseph oh look yakov's taken this really hard what a bummer like like doesn't again doesn't yakob know this is not about him so so it's it's really interesting what yehud is doing over here and yosef's response I think is going to be again I'm I'm trying to understand why Yosef does respond the way that he responds at this particular point is because what Yehuda has said again I know the easy way to read this the easy way to read this is that he makes this plea and my father can't suffer like this and this is terrible and he's accusing ysep of being terrible then he goes okay but you know I'm I'm ysep and and it's just too much emotion right now but that's not really what's happening what's happening is that Yehuda has Yehuda has been brought by Yosef to this point of of of saying absurdity to the person but but there's something else over here which is really what I want to pay attention to have the brothers ever including Yehuda have they have they fixed anything and and and again give me a couple seconds now because I want to explain what we're up to and why we're here and what's really taking place as far as I can tell I think that yoseph very much is trying to create some type so now it depends how firm you want to be and what word I'll use I'm going to use a phrase I'm going to use a phrase spiritual rehab rehabilitation I know you you'd prefer to use the word chuva I'm not sure if it's chuva as much as it's fixing who they are to a certain extent what he has done is as as the gumar says as the rambam says what is real what is real Chua to be in the same situation another time and to respond differently so he has created a similar situation of if you look at it politically of the sons of Leia and and and so on against a son of Rael where that's that's the question will we abandon again a son of Rael or not and by the way as far as that test goes they pass that test they will not abandon the son of RA they will make sure that paman goes home they're going to make sure that they don't do the same same thing again so I I could say that on that level they passed the test and again I have no question in my mind that's part of what he's trying to accomplish that is what Yosef is trying to do is he testing because he doesn't know or is he testing because they need to see that they have these kind capabilities allow me to go backwards a second to uh to another element which seems to be completely random and is somewhat bizarre F first of all I want track their Rehabilitation or not if we go back to Source number two this is right after they meet again y really wants them to be looking for him but they're not and we're guilty and this part of what Yosef did worked he puts them in a precarious situation it triggers in their minds the precarious situation that yoseph was in and they say we are guilty for what we did this is quid proquo this is karma this is hashak this is God giving them what they had done and therefore they are deserving of this but notice the focus over here the focus is we did this to our brother we're deserving this to happen know something is being missed over here so give me a second V ruen says but I told you now all of this is really good and maybe some of us can even question so why doesn't it end right now because there seems to be recognition because they are missing something now ruane becomes really somewhat confusing to us because ruin at some point is going to make this offer not just one where is it I think it's in Source five they come back and Source five Z kill two of my sons in if I don't bring you back remember back so why would ruin say such a thing so first of all you say it's insane it's unstable but on the other hand y what's yakov's fear I lost one son and now I'm going to lose another son so he says okay I'll take away two of my sons and all of this seems bizarre except for one thing that I do want you to think about there's somebody else who has lost two sons at this point and that's Yehuda and how is and how is Yehuda processing this and you will know that right after this Yehuda is going to approach and Yehuda is going to say you know know we have no choice only thing that we can do is to get food is that we have to go let me take him and and then we'll live and and he gives and this is Yehuda taking responsibility this is Yehuda being Yehuda and I have one question for you that you can't answer and that is how confident is Yehuda that he's goingon to succeed is he 100% is he 90% is he 80% is he 30% is he 8% is he 2% how how come he speaks with confidence now as he's doing this and as b gets arrested again at what point is he begin to process no this is not going to work at what point does he have this terrible thought I'm making all this St so so you're free to argue with me at at what point does he say that my father lost his son and I lost his son but I already lost a second son oh my God I'm not going to succeed in bringing him back because I've already paid for that second son I'm not bringing back it was a down payment before I already lost my second son and therefore this is is not going to work whatsoever I'm saying how much guilt does he have again I I've I've said this many times as well that if I were writing the Kish I didn't but if I were writing the Kish as soon as Yehuda loses his second son I would have then had Yuda go back to Yakov and say listen God by when he loses his first son he should have gone to yov and say I know what it's like to lose a son I know what it's like to lose a son yoseph may not be dead I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to find him I want to make this right I'm saying that's what I would would have written if I would have written the text instead Yehuda loses one and just moves on loses a second and just moves on you know okay let's go on things happen what are you talking about but now after ruen said okay you can kill two of my sons and yehud is listening to this yes yehud is also a victim in all of this whether he's a sympathetic victim or not a sympathetic victim that's going to depend on how you want to play it or you want to present it but Yehuda does he at some point have this premonition now this is not going to work I am not going to succeed right the two sons I've lost is punishment for taking away two sons from yov and therefore I'm the one responsible for Yosef and I'm the one responsible for bamin and that's why he has to make everything right which means again just realize where some of this is coming from and and I'll say it again it is an absolutely horrific thought so I I want to now try to finish this up as again as as much as we can you realize that we have lots and lots and lots and lots of material over here and now I'm keeping two things open in front of me at once one is we're moving over to Source number eight and that's what immediately follows Source number one right Source number one is the end of peric mdala then Source number eight is the beginning of peric M the last thing that Yehuda had said was how can I go up to my father if the if the if the N is not with me and how can I see my father's suffering how can I see that and he uses the word father twice in that verse how can I see my father suffering so much to that ysf responds and it's interesting because I kind of get the feeling that's so many people talk about yosef's response and it is this dramatic Crescendo the end you know of this story it's revealed that this is really Ys and and so on what he hears yoseph cries and his brothers and so on but Yosef is specifically responding to what Yehuda just now said and it's that verse that Yehuda says is what causes Yosef to respond which means it's I think almost impossible to read yosef's response without reading it as a response to what you just not said and not just as a general thing the general thing we understand General thing is he's blaming yose for m y which is wonderful he's blaming yose for being missing and causing his father all kinds of pain but that's not where he ended up what he ended up with was I can't go back CU my father is going to be suffering and I I I I I can't deal with this I don't have enough I don't have enough emotional bandwidth to see this man suffer again but I'm saying again he's just really like violently switched the topic and now everyone get out as he makes his confession cries and everyone hears that there is something taking place here now this again takes us to the point about uh what tone of voice does he use has he always just complete and complete and break it down is my father still alive look at R hers in Source n question is my father really still alive I don't understand I don't understand the question unless you're going tell me he completely broke down emotionally and is not using any intellect anymore can you you want to play this game with me a little bit if y if yakob is not alive would Yehuda have just done what he did okay so now you know that yakov's Alive by the way if you really paid attention along the way you know a lot of things when he says when he says that you asked do we have a father or brother he never asked what happened is when they came back Yakov said at some point why did you tell him that you have a father and a brother and they said no he asked us that that's so that's the problem with keeping track about which lie you said to which person because now Yehuda has lived with that lie that he said to yob and he says it back to yose which is great because and that's part of really what one needs to do here is to pay attention to all the lies that are being told because with every lie being told ysep now knows more and more about what they've been saying to yov because he knows it's not the conversation he had with with him and yob is the only other person over here who could be having this conversation with so by the way he knows yakob is alive it's it is absolutely absurd for Yehuda to do what he does if if yakov's not alive so now I have to ask again I'm saying all apologies to R question mark no no no that that's just it's really not what went on now on the other hand that they were embarrassed or that they're afraid or they think that they're going to be killed they think they're going to die a lot of commentaries go there but that doesn't explain the the there is an approach which is said by at least half a dozen different commentaries by the way including R mashash and that I did bring over here it's it's some people know it as the BET and some people know it as the NV by the way the NV and the BET Lei they were uh related and they were both rash was ofion at the same time so I wonder which one of them got up and said it first they both say the the same thing do they discuss this I don't know know by the way sometimes you have discussions with somebody and then something comes out you don't know what you said what they said I had one chapter in my book that I know came out of a conversation with my brother and he has a chapter about this I have a chapter about this I don't know how much was mine I don't know how much was his so uh what can you do we both published it so um and I said I think I wrote some a footnote I had a conversation with my brother and uh but um they all Quote it's a gamar it's a midash that says that this is a microcosm of what every single person will experience in had when they stand in front of God that when we stand in front of God suddenly all of your arguments and all of your excuses and all of your explanations completely fall apart because all of them have just now been proven to be so blatantly void of any kind of reason or logic or explanation what happens is his whole argument was look what you're doing to your fathers my father still alive and and the sharpness and again this is the way that almost all of them understand it is that I'm yoseph didn't you just now say if you take away from from your father a son that he loves your father will die I'm Y is Yakov still alive now what do you say anymore he's been blaming this s pan for all the terrible things going on and really the finger should be pointed at himself and at that point there's nothing uh there's nothing left to be said so so I again I just want to finish this up and explain this a little a little bit more um just along the way there is a mishna and and I gave you all the sources here by the way I gave you the beta Le I cut it down to sience in Source 18 you can read it Source 19 there a mishna v it's a it's a mishna that for again for could have a very heavy con connotation to it it's uh it's the mission they say by a funeral [Music] after and I want to stay on that last part in front of whom you were going to give a judgment and accounting so I just looked for someone to say this because I knew and and this is like random it could have been anyone and it's probably more but I found a source number 20 per Moshe salonica in the 16th century that uh it's in front of whom you are G going to give a judgment and accounting that means God doesn't have to judge when you're standing in front of God which is a place of absolute truth God doesn't have to judge you see things and you understand things and now you judge your own life based on what you've uh done but I just wanted to add to this eliahu in Source 21 I'll tell you what it says and then uh again you have it in front it starts so who's speaking in who's speaking ELO Anvi so what does he say I was once going from place to place and I see this guy who's completely frivolous and he's a joker he doesn't take anything seriously and I went over to I said you know my son you don't take life seriously you don't sit down you don't study T you're not involved in anything of any gravitus like what's was what are you going to say to God in a day of judgment and the guy says I have I have an answer prepared you didn't give me the capabilities so it continues and he says' what do you do for living so the guy says I'm a hunter really means a fisherman he goes when you fish how do you fish so he says oh I make these nets and the Nets and I put them so he says and who gave you the intelligence to know how to he goes for that God gave me intelligence so then he says your actions contradict your words because look you have capability and the guy starts to cry and he's devastated and then the next line I who feels a little bad that he really put all this pressure on this guy and he says I'm going to tell you a secret so this is like a secret from baon shamala he goes every single person Whoever has stood in front of the ba in Shala has the has an excuse prepared you didn't give me capability and every single person God shows in his life and says look look look look look and then the person has no choice but to judge themselves and come to this realization that they have the capability Yosef according to the way kazal understand it just gave Yehuda and the brothers a God moment of reeling that your life is just full of lies all of your excuses fall apart now what happens when all of your what happens when everything falls apart you've been living a lie and you know as I said there's been lies all the way through in terms of the narrative but it's at which point do you start lying to yourself as well and at which point do you realize hold it this is just not true and now I want to come back to the Yos and Yehuda relationship which I think is taking place over here I want to talk about the dreams a lot of people argue the first Dream came true because all the brothers bowed down to Y so my contention is the first Dream never came true and Yosef knows it never came true why do I say that because they never bowed down to Yos they bar they bowed down to P they bowed down to this king of Egypt or the ruler of Egypt they never bow down to yose and Yosef knows they never bow down to on the other hand when when Yehuda says something Yehuda gives an order they all listen which means yoseph knows that yehud is the king but in order to be king you need in order to be king of Israel you need to be of a certain moral stature and the trajectory that Yehuda and the brothers have been going on is not it and now go back to the main point that may have eluded all of us again who is Yosef Yosef has never been the person in charge he's always been the ultimate number two he has been number two the right hand of yakob the right hand of potifar the right hand of running the prison the right hand of parro and now Yosef has decided to become the right hand of Yehuda but in order to do that Yehuda is going to have to become king which means yoseph has given up on his dreams it's not about his dreams it's not about about his dreams coming true it's about something which is much bigger and that's the Jewish people and that Yehuda is going to be king let's make Yehuda into King in order to make Yehuda into King Yehuda is going to have to go through Rehabilitation Yehuda is going to have to be a person who could take responsibility for all of the people and he maybe even the ones that you don't like as much he's going to have to be able to stand up he's going to have to be able to stand up for bamin as well and Yehuda finally in the moment of real honesty says I just can't go back to my father I can't take respons ility anymore I can't see my father like this and ysph then gives it to him and ysep says really really what you've done all the way along is the one thing all the way long they have never apologized for they never apologize what they did to their father which means oh we sinned against yoseph we heard his screams what about yakov's crying what about yakov's mourning what about making your father think your son is alive even asov even asov who hates yakob says I'm going to wait for my father to be dead and then I'll take care of yakob the brothers over here never apologized for what they did to him and now when it comes time and they're so close to apologize they're so close look what you're gonna look what you're putting through my father through and then you who that the moment when he could have said you know my father just can't go my father can't go through this again instead of what he says is I can't go through this again and that's when ysep comes in and that's when ysep responds and ysf responds I'm I'm Yos is my father still alive what have you done to him what have you done to him how can you possibly Carry On by treating your father this way this this is not what our people are again go back to the Ten Commandments one of the Ten Commandments is this is not who we are don't don't even start don't even start oh it's hard for me to deal with my parent hard for me to deal with my father it's hard for me to be involved that that that is not how this story ends and that's the point that ysf comes in because that's what still needs to be fixed it's not just that you can't deal with it you can't put your father through that don't blame me now because if you're gonna if you really would have realized this you never would have gone down this path in the first place if you would have had honor for your father you never would have sold yosa in the first place it wouldn't have been a possibility couldn't have emerged it couldn't have come up in your mind it would have been an absolute impossibility so what I'm saying is that if you file through yo this speech it's clear to me he doesn't want to go home every word about it he does not want to go home he can't deal with this anymore and Yosef calls him on that and ysep stops him on that and that's what ysf is responding to to be continued