Parshat Korach: How to Measure a Person's True Level - Rabbi David Kaplan

[Music] mosha gets very angry do not turn to do not turn to their offering I never took one donkey of theirs I never harmed any of that says hey God he doesn't say hey he says God don't turn to their offering I've never taken a donkey in other words I've never taken advantage of my position very difficult thing when you're in a position of authority not to take possession advantage of your position do you know that somebody who is a somebody you know is a supervisor so I I have a former student who's a supervisor for the OU the OU is a cous organization in the United States so he goes to these factories he was working with the OU with starkist tuna and so he was at the factory he told me he's not allowed to take a can of tuna from the from he's not allowed to accept a can of tuna from the factory because then it's it's seen as a bribe you're bribing the mash once you take it your your your your vision is distorted when you take a bribe often people in positions of authority they abuse their Authority they have their Authority and their Authority as a result of their Authority they expect certain favors certain things are expected of them and so on and so forth moso says listen first of all I'm completely clean I've never taken a donkey number two I've never harmed anybody now if you were Moser raenu you mosh raenu and you want to appeal to God and explain to God listen you know you don't listen to them because I'm the good guy here and you want to demonstrate something good that you've done what would you do if you were MOS and what would you do listen I took them out of Egypt I split the sea I brought that s the Torah I mean what more evidence do you need of the man's greatness right no you want to demonstrate your I never took a donkey why was m to use that as an example of his greatness you understand why would he use that as an example of his greatness if he could so those of you are in the gar remember we spoke about an incident that the tomwood says that there was a man named rabi khanina benon reaban benon there was a Roman decree that the Jewish people are not to study Torah even the Romans knew the importance of Torah study it said not to study Torah in open Defiance of the Romans he gathered the Jewish people and he taught them Tor in public and open the finds of the Roman and he was doing that and he came to see another Great Sage named RAB Yosi B kisma and Ros bisa said to him you know you're messing with fire over here there's a decree I'd be very surprised if they don't catch you and end up torturing you to death we get which is eventually what happened to who was burnt to death so he said to and listen you know you're an open to find ran I'd be very surprised if you don't end up with a tragic death over here said to well okay I don't mind I gladly die just give me tell me what is my portion in the world to come going to be well in order to know that you give me give me an example of something that you've done good in this world says well okay I was a charity distributor in my neighborhood and you know on poor and we give out money to the poor people said I had some of my own money they got mixed in with the communal money so I gave it away by AC I gave my own money away by accident and I never reimbursed myself from the communal fund I just said all right I gave it away let him have it soos said wow you're going to have a my I wish my portion will be as good as your portion that's what he said to that's what the gar records now there's a very big question here if you were Reon and somebody were to ask you give me an example of something good that you've done and you're the one who's teaching Torah and open the fins of the Romans what would you give an example I've taught Torah in open Defiance of the Romans I that's pretty good if let's say let's say somebody would ask you somebody ask you you've done two things in your life one of them is you've put on situs and the other one is you dived into the water to save somebody who is drowning at personal risk and somebody says you have you ever done a big mits in your life ever done give me an example of something good you've done what would you choose an example yeah I dove in everybody else is standing around I dove in at Great personal risk just like the Torah says and I saved somebody's life isn't that what you or or versus well I you know I put on situs it cost me 45 shuckles and I put on situs which one would you choose you would choose that's a lot more dramatic a lot more the effects seem to be greater effect seems to be a bigger Mis that's the one you would choose so why does ran talk about well my money got mixed up so I gave away an extra 20 bucks to Stu up I want you talk about the fact that you risked your life to teach Torah in open Defiance of Romans that's the question Rabbi desler asked that question you know what the answer is the answer is all of us have two types of actions that we're involved in we've all done great things I'm sure sometime or other you've done something great what you consider great and we're all involved in our daytoday living your true level is not measured by the great things you've done your true level of who you are as a person and what your station will be in the world to come is defin by what you do on a day-to-day level basis in other words if a person you're going to be rewarded for everything and the great things you get rewarded for too but the ultimate level of the person whatever his eternal existence is going to be is going to be relative to what his true level is not some oneoff imagine you knock on the door some my wife said to me after Cleveland won the NBA Championship my wife said to me this is a great time to go fundraising in Cleveland right people in Cleveland are in a great mood so you knock on the door you say listen we're collecting for the Yeshiva and some guy who just saw the end of the NBA game you know he says oh well you know he writes you out a check for $10,000 and that's not who he really is that's not who he really is who he really is is what he does when people knock on his door on a regular basis coming around asking for money who you really are is how you behave in the lunchroom what you do when you're standing in line what you do with your roommate how you how you treat your roommate how you treat your family how you treat your parents how you treat your friends that's who you really are once in a while you dive in the water to say somebody's life that's great that's not who you really are unless you're the person who's doing that on a regular basis that's why when he was asked give me an example of something you've done he didn't chose the great the the the giving up my life to teach Torah because that's not what you do on a regular basis you know when something I do I'm the type of person who gives away an extra 20 bucks if I actually threw in another 20 bucks in the stuck I don't go and say well give it back to me I'll let him keep it that's who you really are Moser raenu chooses as an example when he he wants to convince God that God should not turn to DUS he should obey he he he should turn to moso because says I never took a donkey from them seems insignificant compared to splitting the sea right but that's who he really is that's the real level your real level is determined by the little things you do on a day-to-day basis remember the famous rambam asked the question if you have $1,000 should you give it all to one poor person which would be great for him or give $1 to a, poor people now $1 isn't going to really be significant in any one of those poor people's lives but what should you do with your thousand give $1,000 to one poor man to give $1 to a thousand what do you say Ben what would you do probably a thousand because with that he can change his life around change whose life the poor man's life okay there's certainly a validity that argument give a thousand to one guy okay that's certainly true what' he say I'll would say that um it all depends on the type of you want to live your life in if you want to actually mankind then you give it out as1 increment to okay if you're looking to have self realization and self then okay very good so the rambam makes it easier for us very the rambam says you hear what he's saying are you worried about the betterment of mankind you're worried about the betterment of yourself so the rambam says well you know why you give Saka that's why do you give charity we think of charity in terms of the benefit of the poor band that's what we think of it every Mitzvah is an our benefit also I'm giving the Mitzvah that changes me the act of reaching into your pocket a thousand times will do more for you than giving away $1,000 in one shot sure you'll better you'll better his that no question about it but I'm also a factor in the equation here I'm also part of the mitzah the mitzah it's supposed to do something for me that's why do you know I going tell you a shocking statement any of you married none of you are married except for me and Mr Fogle right okay so I'll tell you a Shaker V was one of the great cabalists V says that in the world of Truth when a person comes up there after after 120 years in the world of Truth so uh they're GNA it's the Judgment Day so now a person has committed a lot they done a lot of acts of kindness in the course of his lifetime right he done a lot of a lot of kind things in your lifetime are you going to get rewarded for it theoretically yes there's supposed to be rewarded for it says it's not so fast not so fast you know what God's going to do is God going to take a look at first how kind were you to your wife if you treated your wife well you'll get credit for all those other acts of kindness if you treated the world well but you were you were miserable to your wife so you get no credit at all you know why because you're really concerned about kindness so why weren't you kind to your wife you're kind to everybody else sure you want to make a good impression that's why people meet at the office and always run off run off with each other they dump their spouses and run off with each other why because at the office everybody is on their best behavior and looks their best till they get married then they split up too because they realize now that we're married this is this is this is ganam right but everything is artificial at the office everybody's nice and everybody's sweet everybody looks like wow you know her her husband must be a really lucky guy his wife must to be a really lucky lady right until you go home and meet his wife who's got a big bruise over here right then you find out go why because she's not such a lucky lady because he takes out all his frustrations on her when he gets home from the office and vice versa so a person your real measure the real level and the real test of a person by the way it's practically this is practical as well the real test of your character is going to be is going to be when you're when you're uh when you're married because then you got to deal with a wife and you got to deal with the kids and if you're the type of person is always flying off the handle there's no end to it fly off every five minutes you going be flying off there's always something that's going to happen that's going to that's going to what do you call right it's it's going to it's going to tick you off and if a person has to learn in the home in the home you could either be a monster or you could be an angel and if you're going to expect everybody to march to your drum beat at home you're in for a very unhappy life and you better you know there's a famous story this little this deer is running through the forest and he's get frustrating because his antlers keep getting caught on the branches so he goes over and he brings an electric saw and he walks over he starts he's ready to saw down some of the branches in the forest so he sees this little old wise deer you know the guy with the round glasses and a little and a little beard and this old W oh gross Opera you know and he comes over and he comes over he goes no you got it wrong he starts laughing he says what's so funny he says you got it all wrong he says instead of trimming the branches I want you to trim your antlers a little bit you trim your antlers you won't get caught on any branches there two ways you're going to go around trimming the world's branches you're never going to there's not enough trimming to do trim your own antlers and you'll be okay CU we are always got branches everywhere we go in our life I don't know if you guys ever been to sh I was just talking to my wife about this when you go to sh just let's start off with what a man goes through in the course of the day I go to sh starts off with a guy sitting in my seat right so okay I won't sit over there I'll sit somewhere else I go and I sit down and just as I sit down another guy walks go sh you're in my seat right now I've been I've been thumbed out at third base you know you're out of there okay so I get up and go sit somewhere else but this time I'm a little agitated so I go to open the window somebody says close the window I'm cold so you close the window somebody else says open the window I'm hot right then you finally move somewhere else where you know you sit down the kazin's going too slow right or the kazin's going too fast or the kid behind you is playing with his stender and he loses control and hits you in the back of the neck right and sucus and suus you ever get poked by a lul Love by the way whenever you go around the circle on sucus never stand behind don't ever stand behind a kid on sucus when you go around the circle because the kid's lulive the tip of his lulive is right at your eye level right so don't stand behind that kid there's always something to get ticked about you haven't even stabing yet that's for the first hour of the day then you come home and you got to find your slippers or your briefcase or whatever it is the breakfast is not ready then you go to the bus or public transportation and it's late and you got to deal with people then you got to get to work you understand everywhere you go on the course of day you could be you your blood pressure could go through the you know you can set records be in the Guinness book you go off the charts unless you trim your own antlers I say you know relax he's also a person and he's thinking about himself just like I'm thinking about myself and therefore he wants what's best for him just like I want what guy cuts you off in traffic a nerve he cut me off in traffic oh I see you never cut anybody off in traffic you're just you're just Mr polite behind the wheel right you just never cut anybody off in traffic you never gu Zips in and takes your parking space you never hopped anybody else's parking space huh you you never said no you never said anybody else's seat and should that you get upset somebody said you understand there's no end to it therefore uh M says you're measured by your Small Deeds you're measured by your Small Deeds that's the rule okay why Mo have to be told I mean why did he have to tell not to accept it's a it's a form of prayer it's a form of prayer anytime M speaks it's a form of he's asking before you know in case they have a merit I want you not to I want you not to to f focus on their Merit mayor May was the of Theona who was like the the the spiritual supervisor of Thea and he was known as a man a very big Baler a man who was working on himself always and uh raes passed away and they asked he had been married over 60 years so they asked his wife what was it like being married to him what was it like being married to to Mar kades see he said his wife said it was like being in Paradise for 60 years being married to him was like being in ganaden for 60 years I said every man should ask himself what would his wife say about him if she was ask that question it's like being in Paradise for 60 years remember one man's Paradise is another man's gehenna right you know what would what would his wife say what would his wife say if she was asked every man should ask himself that question what would my wife say about I know what in now only that it's always a good idea look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself how would I like to be married to me that's also a very sobering question how would I like to be married to me there's I heard VOR Miller once told a story about a woman was on her deathbed and uh her husband had mistreated her the entire life the entire lifetime so he went to the deathbed and he said to her on her deathbed he said to her you know I have to ask you for forgiveness so she looked up at him and she said I'm sorry I cannot forgive you and she died that's a bad thing to hear from her wife right before she goes right that's a bad thing to hear now contrast that with SCH was one of the uh leading he was one of the gor he died about in 19 when did he die about maybe 11 12 years ago there were 300,000 people at his funeral and yeah there was even a secular secular policeman was there secular Israeli policeman was there and he looked around he said if I knew there'd be this many people at my funeral I would drop dead on the spot so some had 300,000 people he was one of the leaders of the generation so there's a custom among uh Jew Jews when somebody passes away whichever spouse dies first the remaining spouse approaches the body and asks forgiveness because the assumption is that there's been some you know you know spouses are married there's been some something inappropriate so when his wife his wife predeceased him so when his wife was passed away from front of 10 or 20,000 people that came to the funeral his wife's funeral some approach the the Maita approach the body and he said we've been married over 60 years you know as well as I do that I have nothing to ask forgiveness for in over 60 years of marriage there was never an unpleasant word exchanged between us therefore I don't have to ask for forgiveness I will only do so because it is the custom but you know as well as I do that I don't have to okay somebody asked one of his children how could it possibly be your parents were married for 60 years in in over six years they never had a disagreement you know what he said he said my parents had plenty of disagreements my parent how can you not have a disagreement somebody's coming from a completely different place than you a completely different mindset it's a completely different human being you're a male she how can you not have a disagreement of course they have disagreement they they had dozens of disagreements but just because you have a disagreement doesn't mean I have to turn unpleasant why do you have to become unpleasant do you have a disagreement talk about it why do you have to raise your voice why do you have to insult people why do you have to become obnoxious about it why can't you just talk about you have a disagreement okay so you have a disagreement not a big deal and they had PL disagreements a very big difference be you understand that's what test that's the real test of a person real I remember my wife my wife the first time again this is why people wonder why can't you know you know finding out about people before be before when you date them there's always going to be something you don't know after you're married you're going to find out something you on I remember we had about the time I think we had four kids and one day I see my wife has got the kids you know they're all dressed and she's everybody's and they're starting to March out the door I said where you going she said to the dentist for the six-month checkup whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa what's with the six month's checkup over here you know my wife was raised in a home where they P basically bought the dent paid for the dentist Rolls-Royce you know uh in our home you know you went to the dentist if you were limping would pay you know then you went you know so now we got two different approaches so and now she's about to March off with the kid for six month check whoa this costs money just once you understand now it's a disagreement there's a disagreement over here you may have a disagreement about how to flavor get fil to fish my mother always made it sweet her mother always made it sour now what are you going to do with the give fil the fish you it's a million one things that you can disagree on when when do you when when do we renovate the home when you call for repairs do you call for repairs in advance or you call for wait till something starts breaking it's a million one things they can come up okay they come up so who said you have to become unpleasant and who said you have to have your way who said you have to be right who said you have to have your way you're not a baby people always tell adults stop behaving stop you know they tell you stop behaving like children I disagree when I see children fight stop behaving like adults right adults fight much more than children adults fight much more than children children fight and they get over adults fight and they never talk to each other again that's that's what tests the person okay [Music]