Parshat Ki Tetzei: The Rebellious Son - Rabbi David Kaplan

I you okay para cuff alice + the cuff podcast page 1046 kela ish been sore amaura when a man has a son who is sore elbow i think the arts go transit wayward in rebellious a nano show may have a toll Aviva Cole emo he does not obey his parents buo so top of 1048 little yeesh male him they punish him they bring it abates in a basin actually flog him and he does not obey them the Tufts of all of these emails father mother should take hold of him eoto cells eating arabelle sharma como should take him to the elders of his city and the gates of the city the armor lzk ero they should say to the elders bananas s or m laura this son is wayward and rebellious a nano show mavic Elena is not obey us xolo the sova he has a glutton in a drinker what he called a drunkard so what do they do what did this kid do this kid is between the ages of 13 and 13 is the first three months after the age of 13 and the onset of puberty that's the only time this applies though that's that period of time 13 years he's started his physical maturity for the first three month period after 13 that he starts physical maturity that's when this applies what did he do he stole from his parents he stole some eating right and he went away with a massive amount of meat in line and he ate it after stealing it from his Romans parents so what do you do the bay parents sake of the Baisden for over indulging in meat and wine and what do they do orgo mukadzi hear about honey boo may see a stone him to death OVR to Arabic Arabic I eradicate their evil from your midst the whole you sir L usual euro the entire Jewish people should see the witnesses and and take a lesson from it I mean it's that's I that sounds like a southern hanging judge I mean you know oh yeah what's going on a 13 year old who who indulges he got drunk and he overate meet I mean there could be description of any one of you us we right Hank you know so what's going on here what's going on here the kid overindulged a little bit you're killing him so let me explain to you first of all what the Gomorrah says about this cousin word is in Sun Hedren it's actually in the chapter that we're learning more discusses this what's going on here so the guar says first of all before anything what are the requirements the requirements are this has to be a certain age young man he's at the an sent of his adulthood his parents have to be of equal voice in equal appearance the goomers as the parents have to have the same voice tone I mean you don't generally want the women they have the same voice tone as the men right but they have to be the equal height I mean you know generally the husbands are a little bit taller generally I know it's exceptions but they're generally that wasn't a little bit taller parents neither them could be have any sort of amputation the father either one is missing a hand or foot doesn't apply the law doesn't apply doesn't apply if the parents aren't equal the parents aren't the same and now that none of it only applies under very extreme circumstances with very extreme situation he had to have stolen from his parents if he stole from other people and he did it he don't say stole from meat and wine from somebody else he went next door and stow away on doesn't apply only apply if he stole it from his parents it only applies a v8 a certain quantity and it's got to be a certain degree of wine and it's got to be meat it was turkey it doesn't apply very very limited so limited that the guar says it never happened and it never will happen miss Chalker never happened it never will happen well what's the obvious question but never happened never will happen was the obvious question was to write it sources defense the case y de tour bother it says the gomorian want answers drush the cabo scar study it and you'll be rewarded how's the guar says so it sounds like what the kumaras saying well hey another piece of tour every board of torres every word of torres is a mitzvah so good i get to study something and this is a little more exciting than the technical was of selection on shabbas good let's get some good stuff they gave us something you know they gave us an exciting chapter here so that would keep us interesting we get we could study ok that's it certainly so it sounds like but obviously gentlemen been around long enough to know the tour isn't going to do that bit or is it going to just waste the section of the door what is the taurah means study it and you'll be rewarded the answer is if you study with the throw trying to communicate over here you'll be rewarded in your life dealing with raising children and dealing with your society in general what's happening over here really and why does the torah say well if the either parent has had an arm chopped off and if the parents don't have the same voice tone what's the torre telling you so the idea is what does it mean the parents have to say voice tone and the same page parents are getting along with each other they're approaching life the same way they're the same height that means he's not raised in a family where something really weird happened he hasn't had any traumatic experiences in his life there's nothing to excuse his behavior over here other than gluttony parents are on the same page kids never had any trauma he has that burden he doesn't need a psychologist or or what he called a therapist right he's never had any trauma in his life and the kid is going off right at the onset of adulthood the Torah tell you know it's gonna happen to him he's eventually going to develop he's gonna develop a habit he's gonna need his fix he's gonna stand at a crossroads robbing people to support his heaven to answer he's gonna murder somebody so Tory says you know what let him die when he's meritorious now as opposed to when he actually commits the crime later let's do him a favor take him out of commission those are the thorssons you know the commentaries say well okay even if he murders somebody the punishment for murder is not stoning punishment for murder is beheading which is less severe than so why does he get stone The Wandering comedy dancers well he may kill somebody on shabbos shabbos desecration that's Tony kid okay all right but it never happened and never will have but what's the Torah tell you stories telling you over here something that if you're if you're alive in the 20th or 21st century should have any trouble understanding is at all in a society where a child is not supervised and a child is out of control especially at the onset is he's going into adult life he's already out of control that's a projection for what's going to happen in the few sure and what are the parents being told was it mean he doesn't listen I look at the words very quickly look at the words I a nano show me abhi Cole Aviv ova Cole emo he does not obey his father in of any in other words show maiya in Hebrew could either be obey it could be here or it could be understand in a no-show maiya bukola vivre ma he does not obey he does not here and he does not understand his parents so you know I tell you if some pretty strong fundamentals right here when it comes to raising children you guys I'm fundamental it comes ready to you don't hear your parents what should you be hearing well what sound should a child here from his father she hear his father studying Torah is that why men are supposed to do at home suppose he's studying Torah what our mothers what a Jewish women do they daven what they do if tier drench tear-soaked to him you didn't hear your father or your mother involved in anything spiritual you didn't hear your parents involved anything your parents are so superficially spoke about the essay your parents are completely materialistic there's nothing spiritual what do you want from the kid how could it kidnap go off so we'll protect society will execute the kid when he's 13 as opposed to waiting from the get to the part where he's gonna kill some because you gotta support his having he's out of control but what do you want what do you want from the kid how's the kids supposed to grow up with any sort of discipline he never saw the role model and his parents and by the way that's the rule in life whatever you want there's a hockey goalie named Billy Smith any of you ever heard of Billy Smith he was a goalie for New York Islanders they weren't for championships in a row Billy Smith had the reputable a Smith and a reputation of being the dirtiest player in the NHL every time I guys skated past him the referees weren't looking it's on a hockey player they don't have padding on their calves the front has got you know shin guards don't have padding and they only have socks on their calves so every time an opposing player would skate past I mean you get away with it would take his goalie stick it was / I'm across the back of the calves which made him extremely unpopular to everybody other than his teammates and so then billy smith jr. was nine years old and started playing peewee hockey so they interviewed billy smith see and of course he's gonna be a goalie like daddy so they interviewed Billy Smith senior and they said them is your son going to be slashing the Pee Wee's he said no sir why not is this guy told my son don't do as I do do as I say well guess what gentlemen I didn't read the follow up on it I have no doubt that the Pee Wee's were limping I have no doubt about it because children don't do is you do children do as you say and what you see in your house I remember my first kid was three years old and I walked in there with late at night and I walked past the kitchen about twelve o'clock in the ten o'clock at night whatever it was supposed to be long in bed he was three years old the time I see the refrigerator doors open and he's got a big bottle of pop in his hands he's drinking from the bottle my first time is at the end of the world my first thought was where did he learn to do that he saw my wife drinking out of a bottle you know one of us anyway you know yeah it doesn't happen by sovan kids got to get the idea somewhere oh you want your kid a kid a kid talks in show where to get there you're talking to show always a nexus father sitting there talking the entire time about about the stock market trivialities like the stock market important things like sports whatever his father is talking about and show kids see that sorry father dams it that's a diamond the only way the only success or hope you'll ever have what you doin Tony Johnson the only successor ever hope you everybody Joe you got to set the example and then dab it you don't set an example what do you want from the kid how could a kid possibly do that was on sitting in the table might my son who I might my third son was about five years old and I'm saying at the demo my wife's putting the kids to sleep and i'm eating supper by myself and my kid comes over so he had the time as a pudgy little kid he puts his face up and he looks at me like he stares at me eating for a couple days okay and also a certain point says daddy do you love to eat so i said do i love t i mean we don't love thee you know we eat so we can be strong and serve Hashem you know some pathetic answer like that you know yes I me on something along those lines to serve Hashem that sort of thing and anyways oh ok then he turned he left his philosophy then wouldn't beat up his sister or something you know I went it went to practical application but I you know and I was thinking afterwards how could my kid never came over to he never came over said daddy do you love to study mission is that he never asked me but why the answer is because my enthusiasm level with a plate of food is probably somewhat different than my enthusiasm level in front of in front of a Mitch nice you want a kid you I'm a kid to develop you want to get the developing is gonna have to develop what develops what he sees in the house a mother who speaks mother tell the kids you'd only have anything nice to say don't say your mother ever hear their music from your parents yeah y'all have anything nice to say don't say it then the mother is entertaining and you're eavesdropping what's going on in the room when her for friends are over you think yourself waltham didn't sound very nice I guess when you say you learned an important lesson when I'm an adult I will tell children not to do anything that only say nice things but when I'm adult I'm free you understand doesn't work it just does not work yeah Justin we're getting first time I must remember to garces never happened it never will heaven and by the way you haven't been reading enough Calvin and Hobbes idea because they they're all for hey there they're all Boris good however there has any sense of studies of letters assassins for mafia and a lot of the registration were traded showed another story ends new york tyke cats together government or accordingly the inside why did the taurus pacific you choose blood and alcohol versus to these traits that are obvious good good good good good good first of all it's a good question he's asking why did the Torah pick on meat and wine the answer is that meat and wine are addictive by nature they're physically physically addictive person develops an appetite for meet the person develops an anti-fur was certainly alcohol that's why I towards say these are the most likely things are going to happen the most likely that you're gonna find these kids who are I had a kid in my neighborhood I wouldn't let my kids play by hit my son had a friendly neighborhood there wasn't a cat in the neighborhood that was safe when this other kid was on the loose yeah every time I saw this getting you know it's one thing if kids are wild orchids are active something where kids are killing her absolutely sadists you know and a certain point I said why I don't want to play with that kid every time I saw the kid he was either throwing a stone and a cat chasing a cat you know and I know his parents are nice people the parents aren't inside type of person they were teens that kid isn't getting beaten up in the house so but the tour is simply taking the most likely scenario where you get a teenager who's hungry and and he's getting into wine or alcohol or whatever it is and he's got it oh that's why the Torah says only if it steals it from his parents only for his parents cuz you know you might once in a while go and steal it from the neighbors steal it from the issue of a kitchen but you're not gonna go your father it's accessible to you all the time you could be stealing throw we're Karen cerned about the most common case scenario the most common case scenario is meat and wine that you're able to nip in your house and he goes out he is a man cook the meat has to be eaten the state where is that even eating it fully cooked it's semi it's semi cook steak tartare right it's it's semi it'sit's semi-cooked because he's in a hurry somebody snieckus i may come i better cook it up real quick and eat it we're talking about a certain level of gluttony which is obviously an indication of an addiction later on but again again just remember the guar says it never happened and it never will happen there is another opinion rabbi yona son and the Gomorrah says I saw a been sore amaura and I sat on his tombstone but the the the main opinion of the game or is it never happened it never happened in that the tour is not looking to what you call euthanasia tours not looking to take out 13 year olds make the tories trying to teach you a life lesson how you have to supervise your kids how you after what what kind of what you should be on guard for how you should get along with your wife all these things are container that's why is it drove a cobble scar study this and you're gonna be rewarded quest you going again your first name is I'll be good yes that's another good that's another reason why says no parents are going that's why it's also impossible they happen no parents are going to bring their kid the bays and they have him executed because he overate hey where's all the shabbos food oh you know yet see got to it before job is ok take them a basic you no no no parents no parents are ever gonna take their kids to base it your thirst teaching an important lesser vertices you hear you're right there's like that's like or incenses impossible circumstances are so difficult it is so unlikely as to be as is to be mathematically impossible and everywhere says it never happened in every wheel so why did you teach you that the answer is there's so many life lessons here about addictions and about where people get head and keep your eye on your kid when he's a teenager and so on and so forth that the towards teach you a lesson over you