Parshat Ki Tetzei: The Captive Woman at the Battle Front - Rabbi David Kaplan

I you on page 126 this is the birth of Yaakov na so you'll notice that the Burgas birth of Yaakov at a sub I'm page 126 the fourth line on the page it says vague the luana are in the two lads grew up he shoved a ceviche outside each saw the asa was a hunter a man of the fields the yakovitch Tom Yoshi Valen Yakko was a house he translate Tom a wholesome man oh good word who sat in the tents now if you look at Raschi here Brad she says what are these tents refer to left column of raji fourth line to the top what does it be sat in the tents what tents are we talking about says Rashi yo shave ahalan a hollow shell shame the hollow shell ater the tents of shame and a ver which legume are told us they had yeshivas back in those days even before the tour was given Yaakov Satya shibuya-ku satna he was on the j-league program of the time with a 14 year program and Yaakov was in the tents of shame and a versa from the earliest age a civil hunter and Yaakov was a wholesome man who SAT by the book and he studied Torah whatever tour existed whatever they studied whatever godliness they studied before the the Torah day as we know it was given ok so first of all just an interesting insight here what it means the difference between Yaakov na so the ASA is a man of the fields fields by definition have no boundary feel have no borders the a subs in the world live without limitation they live out in the fields everything the world is the world's of ballpark it's it's it's it's it's a field and that's why the a subs look the way they do because you have no absolutely no limits and no boundaries like a man of the field take a child by the way you take a child put a child down in any big area take a three year old boy for your buddy but go to the airport you just put them down in the any of our there you're very fine a very early find areas that have long extending walkways like you're doing airports put a child down in any grassy area take them out to the park put it on guys what's a three-year-old start doing first thing he does starts running any know where he's running to sams way just say just let's run it's open let's ride he starts running that's at ace of an instant of the person got Oh Libby just running through life has got absolutely no limits Yaakov is by definition in a tent and attempted by definition means you got borders we live in the self-control that's the basic basic idea differin 3d a coven asa but even more than that the Torah tells us over here what our tents tensor the tents of Toro okay now go back to fargo ski sisa where we were yesterday so yesterday we said that when you go out to war you're going to win the war q SE salem l comma always going to go to war against your enemy then I share will deliver them in your annual take a captive so yesterday we pointed out that the last five letters of the first five words spell out ello kaha your God is going to be what helps you to win in war but the last five letters also spell out the words ojala your tents that means what is it that causes the Jews to win it in the wars it's because of the tents of Torah it's because we are in the tens of Torah and is the merit of the Jewish people studying Torah that gives that brings the merit of God's say it helping us and that's why the Jewish people win the war that's our debts are fundamental belief ok now we started yesterday talking about one other point I want to mention here is the very first Raschi so its key states a homologous I look at the very first rachi in the right column top line when you go out to war says Rashi DeMille hemisfair ishizaka summoned a beer the Torah is talking about a war of an optional war what does that mean an option or visit the Jewish people fought three different types of wars there's one war which is the enemy's have attacked you we have to defend yourself that's called an alchemist mitzvah in a mahama's mitzvah there are no restrictions on who goes to war the Guarani la fila Hassan make hedgerow the colonial pasa you take a Hudson and color from their wedding canopy and they have to go into the war effort san jose may go to war and the collar is on the on the would have the supply and the supply line that's a multi miss Mitzvah everybody has a mitzvah to wage a war there's something called no cameras or issues with her malicious with an optional war which is a war let's say takes ten the borders of the Land of Israel mm else besides okay let's take the occupied east bank today right we want to extend the board let's go up into Syria because we need more ram is a war of expansion you don't have to fight that war you have the right to fight that war the rules that the Torah is talking about here are talking about that kind of war that kind of War the vehemence or issues okay that's what rashi told us the cam days point out ultimately gentlemen which is the biggest war you ever fight in your life the aids are illegal in Croatia the constant battle the constant battle of the evil inclination and when you fight against the evil enclosure the power tells you how you fight how you win their war the first step is he sate Salem el como la caja you have to take the first step to wage war you have to fight the evil inclination and then you earn the divine assistance in a son our son luca be odessa Hashem will send him in your hands a sham will help you out but you gotta you can to sit back this is I shall I have a Yates our help me out no you got you gotta let muster up a little willpower and fight and what's the strategy this show fees Sasha vo take them captive a little bit at a time you're not going to become the Huff a time overnight right may take you a while they take a couple weeks a little bit at a time take a captive here take a captive there win a battle here win a battle over there and slowly but surely you're the spiritual level increases that's most MSR issues now is a very important Torah principle that underlies all of the census follows in our battle we spoke about this many times in our battles in our battles you can't fight the battle right at the battlefront right it's too dangerous get killed you have to fight the battle milk ms or issues that means where does our work start where does our works our work starts not when I'm confronting a cheeseburger if I lose that war than i'm eating trash my battle starts on shabbos afternoon when I'm eating Jones in its permissible theoretically I could eat as much salt as I want theoretically I do right so I could eat as much on the other wine but what my battle is is after I've had my two or three or six helpings then I have to exercise some self-control and and you know what I would like some more and i'm going to stop yeah if i lose the battle ok didn't do anything i don't break the letter of the law but i have to learn to control myself in the permissible areas and if I can control myself of the permissible areas then the forbidden areas aren't even aren't even a challenge that's one of the things that one of the beauties of Judaism imagine you know I got used to reused to Rita and say here all the time you read on the news they're interviewing you guys says I'm a good person I never heard anybody in the world at large a good person means you never hurt anybody you mind your business you might your business we never heard any but you're a good person in total awe you're a good person you know stop and think about it by us it's forbidden to cause physical harm to somebody right no it costs filaggrin all the hit people and I caught damaged people not only not to cause physical or i'ma talk bad about people I mean what would what would what the soap operas do if they were concerned about lush in hora you know all the soap opera people all they're doing all these talking gloves and her about other people whoever whichever nurse isn't there the doctor and the other nurse are talking about her Claire you know it's like something named Claire I don't know why I've it so is that you know the doctor and a nurse are busy talking patients dying on the table and they're talking about Claire so so so the way to caught now we not only we don't physically hurt people we don't even talk about people and talk chuck me out about being prohibited now when we don't talk me at about people it's Freeman is even think we had about be over the judge people favorably imagine telling that the average guy in the street you have to control your thoughts get out of here we did it control your thoughts what are you are you out of your mind no no no weird want to talk about controlling the mind you're doing I was out of your mind we're telling you have to control your mind nobody it's incomprehensible as long as you don't hit anybody and you don't intentionally close the door on anybody's finger you're a good person in Torah we don't even think bad about kidding me after the guy whose work gag isn't a guy's controlling himself that I think we had about people and in the minimum were controlling I will not speak me at about people and certainly not gonna hit anybody and I could hit a Jewish fight is when you talk about what you would have done if you would have said another word that's a Jewish fight he would have said one more word to me now that the reason you Shiva talk about what we would have done if the guy would have said another word bubble yeah I've never hit anybody it's on ganja you know you don't hit you try not even do you understand the further you push you to hire two standard that you hold yourself to if you're working in a Jerry West I know if I'm dating myself you've heard of Jerry West I'm assuming every surgery west was a basketball player it was arguably the best shooter the best shooter ever may be leery Birdman you know one of the one up there so Jerry West when he was he said what he used to practice how they asked I'd become such a good shooter he had her he had a rim in his room the parameter of her basketball rim by the way this is a perfectly useless piece of trivia you could fit exactly two basketballs through who did you know that nobody knew that did you and you can fit exactly to basketball soon of any wonder how they missed so much yeah you could fit two basketballs through who he had a hoop that was a smaller hoop so when he was shooting at his hoop in his backyard he had to learn to become someone goes out on the court he shouldn't get a bigger hoop it looks like it looks like a bucket right so if you can get it into a smaller hoop you're certainly gonna have a big problem with a bigger hoop if a person if I'm able to control myself that think we had about people even if I'm not that good at least talk about yet sir they gotta hit anybody so if I could control myself around my child in my chocolate cake I could certainly control mice over on cheeseburgers and said that's the that's what orders demanding others are right it's like a cabo homer and if you could also we Siddhartha when you go to war against your enemy in the permissible areas that's where the war begins the war begins control myself where it's permissible then I certainly won't have trouble but words prohibited you know there's a guy there's a Shiva got him an airplane and um they served him they served them a salami sandwich guy was starving but a salami sandwich down it from him so um he gets up to wash and he goes back to his seat he had a salami had a coach ami sandwich that they serve them your grocery bill that sermon coaches lines everybody else at nine kosher salami sandwiches say comes back the seat and as he sits down he thinks of a there's a halacha a rabbinic decree that buster Chanel I mean Hawaiian if meets if you have kosher meat and nobody is supervising it in a lot to eat it there's a concern there's a concern that there by design me by the time you got back that somebody switched Rafe meet with it he sits down and he's starving as well sir rebenok law maybe I could after all I'm in an airplane I'm gonna starve to death he was you know what I can't I could I can't she make some old sea takes a big breaks of ease off the bun and you decide you know what rabina clogging I could eat it can't eat it rebutting said I can't eat it and I think it happened to it but the rebel and said nothing you're not allowed to i got up i walk that i didn't supervise it nobody on the place to buy ok sits down he's a guy a non-jewish guy sitting next to him older man he says Tim aren't you getting your sandwich so the kids are thought the guy wants a sandwich says uh no no mice is weren't you need it he says well I you know I just I don't know I'm just not very hungry dices now now you're hungry I know you're hungry well me wearing I can eat it I got a dress yes who we have a we have a law that kosher food if it's not supervised if you take your eye off it nobody supervising you're not law tita this is why is that so well it's a rabbinic decree our great rabbis from a hundred thousand years ago decreed so what was the way why'd they made that the crater that while they're concerned somebody might have switched non kosher meat for the coach for me because I want I saw somebody you got some pretty smart rabbis this is why he says because you know I've always wondered what kosher salami tasted like and as soon as you got up out of your seat I took a piece of my slimy and I switch it with your salami I don't want to um so so you understand you know now is a damn it's kosher salami and it sets a rabbinic decree you know they know what they were talking about they know what they were talking about guys guys guys way to go guys curious about was lemon that's what it's are so so if a person practice this I've been a permissible is a forbidden area if a person you know there was a there was a Jew i jus went to Odessa I told you that or cement head once started a branch in Odessa they called it or adesso started a revolution air there now now schools day school Odessa was this was its abandoned port with you was completely in under communist rule simply a secular it started a whole firm community there now that affirmed communities of course you have a Jewish community of a shoal and you have a bakery in you have a Chinese restaurant you know everything in the Jewish good Jewish community needs so they even had kosher meat Nikita they're kosher meat there's a rub went to Odessa the teacher tori is an Odessa and like every Jew goes to visit Kamini always want to find out what's with the kashrus on the meat you know the schita what's going on with this a little bit with the shackling so he sees a elderly Jew and he says to this guy how's the house the supervision on the sheet and I said shoot is top-notch Rita you can eat the meat no problem ok so jus sits down to eat the meat he knows as elderly just an evening the meat and Russia apparently animal protein is very important because it's so cold the enemy probably keeps your body warm there's a he see this elderly Jew is done eating not eating the meat he says you told me the meats kosher it is is why aren't you eating it says I'll tell you look I've been living in Russia my entire life every country has a national sport the United States its baseball in England that's its its English football yeah in Russia its revolutions it's a natural sporting lodge is always a revolution in Russia there's always a revolution he says look you know when I grew up there was no meat I couldn't eat the meat because the meat wasn't kosher now there's kosher meat and I could eat it and I really should eat it problem is that you know this is unpredictable country I've already conditioned myself not to I don't have a taste for meat anymore if I start eating this kosher meat and then they have a revolution again and then there's no more mikoshamet available you're going back to America you'll have plenty of me what am I going to do I don't trust myself that I'll be able to overcome myself once i'm facing the challenge of non kosher meat again if that comes up if I'd rather do without the closure means I mean it's perfectly cosier I'd rather thought that's what I mean a permissible area that a person fights his battle in a permissible area I had a guy who once he heard one of the robbers at the Shiva i went to the bus stop here i was on my way my sucking on a candy i get to the bus stop i saw my colleague so they got their buzzer I said you want a candy he said ok I reached in my pocket he reached out his hand I said here take a candy Thank goes yeah no no cuz it why not kosher why not as I changed my mind somebody changed your mind he said you know it's because I have an urge for something doesn't mean I have to satisfy it matter if the satisfy every urge I have trained myself that some urges you know it was permissible permissible III why should i why should I that's what it means the the training in a permissible area it's not an easy thing it's not either it's any outward condition if it's available why not why not yeah well what could possibly right do you know there's a very holy facility was a life today in Israel a man was alive today I know the man himself when he gets into a taxicab he has a wooden board that he carries with him and when he takes a cab he puts the wooden board down on the seat why do you think Justin do you give a guess stab in the dark why would he put a wooden board on the seat he didn't want to sit in comfort that's correct he doesn't want to take pleasure out of the states away just because it's available does it and I when I get what I think he can i order a Mercedes and I want I want good bucket seats when I get any you know I'm paying for it it better be comfortable I enjoy every minute of it this is a man of figure I'm gonna work it can be undertaken if you work on yourself over here then the other things that are forbidden i'm in a challenge anymore that's what each person instead oh by the way you have to know who you are in what you're what you're capable of this is very very careful about we have to be very careful with this I know that for my balance in my willy bria i have to have a piece of cake for dessert i have to be able to read a magazine at night i have to be able to play tennis I need that I need that in my of others I'm not tennis downs I never liked you know they'd on TV they always have the ball boys who go pick up the ball the net and when you're playing by yourself you gotta go keep running over Jesse when you're hitting the ball into the net so I never like tennis whatever it is that you have to do whatever is that you have to do so for one person now what's the acid test what's the asset does the guys asked this all the time you know I'd like to work on my self-control I've decided to cut out chocolate cake no more desserts I want to work out my self-control what stay yes it does i didn't know if you're only in that level or not how do you I'll tell you I'll give you I'll tell you what I think is a rule of thumb the rule of thumb is that let's say I eat lunch there's chocolate cake available I'm going to pass on it I'm its otic and I'm going to pass on it okay what's your mood like the rest of the afternoon if your mood is great then you're in the right area but if you go to the next clue Machir you go to a Gomorrah shear and you're learning about hababam out there is d done I'll chocolate cake Karen all you're thinking about all you're thinking about is your chocolate cake eat your chocolate cake you're struggling with it too much if you bypass it if you're able to bypass it and you feel great anybody who's ever deprive themselves of any good food for in principle either you're dieting or you just say you know what there's good stencil available but I know that if I eat the schnitzel now I'm going to be sorry six hours from now and therefore i'm going to pass on the stencil and what it's a it's a murderous battle because it really looks good and instead you you pick everybody knows that 20 minutes later you feel great I didn't give it I didn't give in and I'm not going to suffer later and I didn't give him for a few bites of shuttle but it's while you're going through it it's murder and if afterwards that's all you're thinking about then you're not on that level it's not your battle right now you have more serious battles to fight you understand to each person there's the one rule each person it's sometimes trial and error where am i holding in life I went through a shabbos a few weeks ago my doctor told me that that I got to start cutting out the junk food I remember him telling me you know my doctor says to me in our your this that the other I'm thinking myself well well you're not a perfect 10 either I mean okay buddy I'm paying him he's not paying me so so I went through an entire shabbes for the first time probably since the world was created I went through an entire showers without eating any cake not no cake fruit no cake I felt great I haven't repeated it since all right that was a what a mistake what a mistake that was I haven't repeated it since so you feel great when you do it you feel great I'm torturing myself on jobs like torture and soften up during the week I'm not ready to get tortured on Chavez yet so there's a difference between between enjoying your cake and taking your cake prisoners we're gonna see here and there by you know okay let's go to war against the cake 90 after there is a middle ground over there that's what the Taurus talking about here ok let's go on cuz we're good sunny had a question so be coincident is it also doesn't the Torah teach you to build fences around yourselves yes that's exactly what we're talking about these are defenses the fences are in the permissible area the fence is if I could limit my chocolate cake then I'm certainly going to limit my cheeseburgers if I if I'm in others what's let me tell you know gentlemen I'll tell you a fundamental for my father told me this many years ago and I found to this day that's the most true it's the most true description i've ever heard regarding the Torah what is the central theme of Torah that runs like a thread from beginning to end if somebody would they ask you what is Torah about what is this book about and you can use one description there are several descriptions that are accurate I found what I heard my father told me I feel is still the best description so a lot of people will tell you the tour is about God and it's about devotion all of which is true all which is truer all these things are true the best description i heard rates are the tour is about self-control you have to control what you eat you have to control your relationships you have to control your anger you have to control your ego you have to control your selflessness you have to control your desires the entire Torah is a theme of self-control that's what we're about we're about something we're not about deprivation we're about self-control and if I learn to control myself in the permissible area such as a person just feels okay I'm not eating traif and I'm not doing a varus good now I could unleash myself on the kosher for the stuff right that's like you missed the point tutorial that's not what the goal of the tour is that an obstacle course so avoid that but just charge you know attack that that's not what the rotors about self-control that's what that's what really what what the theme really is over here you're absolutely right it's all about those terms of those fences in the permissible area and the other hand you also have to make sure you don't push yourself into a situation where you're not enjoying life because you're being too harsh on yourself and that's a very very difficult that's when I first got married I told my wife I was in colo colo life is pretty intense you're studying Torah 10 12 hours a day and I told my wife you know ain't need an outlet I need an outlet and you know what sometimes when I would need some light readings I read about the Huff it's time for emotion finds it I said or if I listen you know I I just need something that I could you know clear my head a little bit once a week Saturday night so I told her it's either sports or politics she said the way I hate politics definitely sports right I was so happy so yeah is that you know so so once a week I sit down with the sports illustration would she would censor at first and I look at a Sports Illustrated or everything just something yet because that's what I needed at the time how do you gauge your need because there's a very fine line me what you need what you want that's tricky I need to read Sports Illustrated half hour a week I want to read Sports Illustrated as many hours as I'm in colo right so that what you need and what you want right then you have to have somebody objective who can tell you you can tell you where your holy but it sometimes trial and error and whether you have to be careful not to be too easy on yourself on the other end they'll be too harsh on yourself because you're too strict out here so if you chase yourself right out of utich guy if something's ballet Juba's they get involved and they they're very rigid they don't allow themselves anything they only speak Aramaic and the next thing you know they're out of here right because they they hui because it because the Judaism is oppressive hotel you get who told you to turn into an impressive silent presence or religion it's a pleasant religion you just have to do it properly and to know who you are and be honest with yourself ok now let's go to the next Mitzvah this is one of the most possibly the most bizarre and misunderstood in the Torah all right this needs to be understood well so it talks about you're going off to war post-acute olive second line on the page Risa bash avea you took captives yet war Vera ISA by ship via agency of a star you see a beautiful woman you have to be in among the captives this are shocked above you desire her villa-casa local Aisha is there for you take her as a wife very strange you're going to go and you're going to take this non Jewish woman as a wife there are even some opinions different opinions there's some opinions that the first act of cohabitation is permissible at the battlefront according Samba corn to other opinions now if we go through the whole procedure the third describes you okay what do you do with her they've a cell dump Mesa hey bring her into your house the Gila is Russia she shaves her head the US SSC poor now she allows her fingernails to grow long and unruly the hey sirrah a civilized seamless Eva may Allah she removes the garments that she was wearing when she was taken captive the non-jews when they fought the Jewish people to entice the Jewish men to sin they would deck the women out so she removes her fancy clothing if she puts on he puts on captive clothing the Yahshua the day sucka she sits in your house big Warren says she says right at the entrance of your door you see her as soon as you walk in that house every day luvox a savvy of SE mayara human energy cries she mourns for her parents who you've killed her or her family usually cries for a month they are Cain and after that tub away they luva Alta you make her your wife vice Aloha Lakeisha and she becomes your wife you marry her you cohabit with her new marry her you make her your wife she goes through a conversion process and you marry her the hi I'm loca fats the buff you did that desire her this she locked alone after you set her free ma Carlos incredible cus if you're not allowed to sell her for money as a 9 Jewish slave where other women you could her you can't lo cease I'm air but you shouldn't not uh enslaver top hat size shirt you need some because you have afflicted her guess what the Torah says gentleman what are we talking about here Jewish men go to war and you ought to up at the Battlefront and you see a non-jewish woman you decide you want to marry her sources ok take her home and if you're really uh you're gonna put her through the acid test though is usually when you date the girl she's looking her best and at the battlefront she was certainly looking her best ok take her home shave her head that's already bad news unless she's a no she's in what he called a modern a modern performer take her home shave her head let her grow her fingernails she stands there at the doorway doesn't bathe for a month she's wearing captive clothing and you walk in and see her every single day every single day you walk on that's it could be a married man by the way and you walk into the hi Debbie oh hi Baldy right as you walk in and then after a month you're still in vancha ated with her then you're allowed to marry her what's going on here especially according to the commentaries who say that the first act of cohabitation is permissible to benefit why what's going on and then Jewish woman you're gonna take your other wife since when does the torah permit you take a non-jewish woman and then convert her did not have to do that what's going on here take a look at racha racha says um in in it's the right column forced line right column forthe light and just Rashi also you're gonna hear this rasheen you're gonna be shocked the lock hasta la jolla you sure you're gonna take her as a wife says Rashi if you find absolution person xu Lodi bruh tora ella connect idiot Sahara the Torah here is addressing your evil inclination sheumais Nakata's work on mathira if God doesn't make her permissible Lisa an abuser you're gonna marry her in her forbidden way you're gonna marry her one way or the other you're gonna take her one radio so God says all right since you're gonna do it I very I'll make it permissible Avellino so if he does marry her sofa leo stone he's gonna end up hating her I mean that's a great argument all right maybe guy comes to the rabbi says rabbi is this meat kosher traif and by the way I'm gonna eat it anyway I got a cheeseburger my allow to eat it and by the way if you don't say I'm allowed to I'm gonna eat it anyway all right then it's kosher is that what the tour was saying here is it wasn't staying here you're gonna marry her anyway so God says well since you're gonna marry her anyway say she okay it's permissible what's going on huh you mean because because I week that's right the server makes it where else do you find such an example and the answer is you don't the answer is you don't so what's really going on here what's going on here as God created us you got men going to war the nature of war is you kill you feel victorious you've tasted blood you're in a different state than you're normally in there's certain sorry you know you didn't want to be in Nazi Germany when the Russians invaded right when the Russians invaded Nazi Germany Russians were not happy over about 20 million Russians were killed during the war as many of them were starved to death and when the Russian army invaded Germany let's just put it this way they were not shomer negiah when they when they invaded when they invaded Berlin and you didn't want to be in the city at all if when the Russians invaded why because when you're a man who's going to war you're especially when you're victorious you're almost in an animal like State God who created us knows what we're capable of what that limit exec what we're talking about before god knows what we're capable of the tour is telling you you the man who won this war when you won the work and you see a woman you desire it is not humanly possible for you to overcome that desire unless we allow you to do it in a permissible way if I always going on here if I was going on here because to demand something from you that you can't do the tour is not going to do so everybody thinks wow that's great that's great but it's not great it's not the good news this is the bad news gentlemen you know why because there's nowhere else at the Torah does this which means that there's nothing else that you could argue it's not doable okay as well I can't be from because you know then I can't eat my favorite my favorite seafood which is traif oh yes yeah I can't I can't I can't overcome the desire yes you can what's the proof cuz if you couldn't the Torah would have said you're allowed to do it in since the Torah doesn't give you that out anywhere else that means that there's nowhere else that you could use that as an excuse over here the Torah says God says look okay this is different I who created you know your limitations and therefore if you really can't muster up the self-control so we have a we have a dispensation here bought the dispensation ask the following a logic pattern take her home wait 30 days that you could do that you could do wait 30 days make sure you see her every day see her at her worst in order to discourage yourself let her hold you while she looks while she looks so unattractive want to let her hold your credit card too so then you know what it's like they have two wives who are holding your credit card that might do that might discourage you and then yeah when that you're at the end of 30 days you still want to marry her then you're allowed to do so that's what the tour is telling you now I want to show you before we even go on I just want to show you another law take a look later on in verse 20 chapter 23 verse 14 here the tour is talking about the Jewish army when they're at war capoten top of page 10 56 very top of page 76 so turner says like this when you're or the ad thiele comic puts on a connect you have to have a special designated place outside your camp be it's also shoma hoods when you have to relieve yourself so you have to go out to the special place don't really yourself in the cab now we're talking about a battle talk about an military are coming an army who's out in the wilderness and roses oh by the way we got bathroom rules when you have to go don't just go right outside your tent go outside you have to have a special location outside the camp and not only that the US aid ta loka allies a neck up yeah if they have a shovel among your military weapons one of the things you have to carry is your a shovel the higher bishops of the hood so when you go out the farts above a shaft of adhesive sets SFO when you relieve yourself use the shovel even outside the camp and cover over what you've done that is so courteous isn't it isn't that courteous I mean just just imagine the the Iraqi army is invading Kuwait and I'm sure among their equipment they got rocket launchers grenades anti-tank missiles can you imagine that final formation when they go in when they go into battle and they're finally there's a final checklist you know they got the commander is a okay gentlemen let's check the weapons you got rocket launchers check yeah grenades check you got a shovel for the poopy check you know hun yeah I can just imagine that's one of the first pieces equipment they took because who want to be courteous we don't want any Kuwaiti stepping in wherever we're walked over there let's go really think so you really really think so it's like on the airplanes with it where they have well we suggest you clean up as a courtesy to the next customer Olson on the air plate everybody they don't have that many public bathroom anywhere but any airplanes always ever the bathroom I in courtesy to the next cuts were clean up buzz it's so nice of you and it is nice nothing wrong with it nothing wrong with it and don't get frightened by the loud sound that it makes right nothing wrong with it here the Torah took a lot of people go into the war you going to war and by the way when you go to war and you're killing people taking captives just out of consideration for the next person just bring your shovel with you way and cover it over what's going on Justin it's interesting because I never thought I mean disease obviously what's that disease obviously she probably realize that you have a Crimmins 42 your camp give her get sick they don't know certainly one of the benefits it's certainly one of the benefits you're not gonna might not be there that long you don't you want to be there a couple days your besieging the city you're not gonna you're not gonna stay there and live that you want a little touch of this user's right there is the rotor some he has to be with you and this this is this drives rabona has got to be outside the camp okay so go outside the camp why do you gotta cover it over what do you have to have a shovel with you for last chance do you teach you not to be like a cat look at you very good very good that's exactly the point is a good point you're a war and we recognize that when your war that you're going to go through a change and you can easily descend into animal like behavior and we even understand that when it comes to the woman we're limited in what we expect from you but at a minimum put yourself through an exercise to realize and remind yourself you're not an animal you're not an animal go out there with a shovel and cover up what you did you're a human being with human dignity and this the Torah does the band from you which means you can't say that when I met the battlefield I'm not capable yes you are what's the proof because the Torah says to do it what's the pro over here the tower doesn't say to do it then you're not capable of doing it that's what the that's what the commentaries say and therefore the Torah says over here you're gonna marry this woman I can't stop you torrei comes log says we don't recommend it we don't recommend it look at the very next puzzle key CN Allah each day now Jim when you have two wives haha has a backup page type 46 right after the Torah says don't sell her because you've afflicted her she doesn't want to marry you you don't want to marry her right after thursday's Kesey and a leash they know she when a man has two wives haha sahu vivaha soon one is beloved one is hated the tour is telling you if you marry her you take her along with your first wife you're gonna end up hating her why do you end up hitting her why do you end up hitting her what they I don't mind that sir that's entertainment let them let them go any that's actually fun you end up hating her you end up hitting here because the whole thing is based on the superficiality it was an infatuation once a Fiat rage is gone you're left with the person who is she anyway just some some non Jewish nation who is trying to attack you who is she you end up anger because I gotta live with her I told you gentlemen they say there's a food they found they discovered a food that cures romance called wedding cake is 0 or die now we're married oh so they're all sudden it's different right now what's in their famous comedian he said he said it's something he said who's that lady so that's not a lady that's my wife all right guys were 11 sure that's a favorite Rodney Dangerfield one of these guys I my line that's what as a fav light Eddie no lady that's my wife Henny Youngman is that a lady in other words it's all different at all chickens and now you're married to her grades you were attracted at you as this and she was that and I are married with and I you're stuck and at that point you're gonna end up resenting her well I'm just skipping ahead we're gonna go back in a segue to see a bit look at the very next section all the way to the last line on page 10 46 que ella ish been sore amaura when a son man has a rebellious son in a no-show maiya bukola vivo vakola my does not obey his father his mother and then he's out of control we'll see what the Torah says they're also a very bizarre law so so the brass he brings down over here karachi quoting the guar says it's a bad idea to marry this woman if you marry her you're going to end up hating her and then you're gonna end up having a child who's gonna be a rebellious child that's what that's it that's it why these three sections follow each other why should he end up with a rebellious child so the kind of everybody says i love you don't like your wife and they'd end up with the child is it gonna be a rebellious child is more than that gentlemen what is the child sense on his father Hey Judy doesn't have any respect for his life like why why more even more than that why did you marry her you married her because you're a superficial person that's why well if you're superficial with her you're probably superficial in your Yiddish guide also the kid sees it maidan superficial so what do you expect from a kid my father doesn't care much about you this guy just saw you just got is superficial because if you're a superficial one area you're probably superficial everywhere else therefore there's no accident that becomes the that becomes the progression over here that the Torah shows you now let's go back for a second because the this whole section here with this woman is very enchanting I tell you a cabalistic idea can I ask me any questions about this I only tell you the Orihime you've heard of the uruk-hai macado's right I'll tell you what the arc time says is really going on here now there's there's nothing to do with the what we just said now this is a completely independent approach to the subject yorick I'm says like this when Adam sinned I mean Adam sinned the original sin there were certain wholly new Shamas that were captured by the spiritual forces of evil by the sea chakra when Adam sinned certain as shamans were taken capture taken captive these are the souls that eventually through history would rejoin the Jewish people as convert the name of this soul is you fast tow are the beautiful soul that's the soul it will rejoin the Jewish nation now who went to war for the Jewish people who were the battlers hoopy who went to work you remember last week's parsha what does it say about a man they make an announcement anybody who's recently gotten married leave the battlefront anybody has recently built a home leave the battlefront anybody who's recently made a vineyard leave the battlefront anybody who is afraid because they are guilty of sin and you're worried that your sins will prosecute you at the basket if you have to battle fun leave the battlefront who you're left with who you left it at the Battle friend you got a bunch of sadiq him up there their budget sadiq in we went to war there are people who are sinless they didn't even talk between putting on their head filling in their hands villa desert it siddiqui went to war when that sadek goes to war he sees this woman and she has the neshamah in her of the efest to her and he's going to bring her into the fold how is he gonna bring her into the fold he's gonna marry her there's only one problem there's only one problem are you sure that you're looking at her soul or maybe you're looking at the physical attraction how do you know put her through the test keep her for 30 days when she's at her worst and if after the 30 days you still see her as a you fast owe her that she's got one of the souls and he marries her to bring her people she's one of the people was predestined to convert the Jewish people that's what the Orihime says buzzer Dieruff I'm says Kabbalistic Lee we're talking about a much deeper idea here bringing souls into the Jewish people the plain meaning is you're talking about a man who goes off to war and he sees the woman and he's infatuated just as we would be infatuated on a human level k'orik I'm is talking about at a much deeper level okay now rabbi moshe feinstein points out over here that you have a you have a peculiar law over here as well after you put her through this procedure you decide you don't want to marry her now in general when you took captives at war you know the old days you went to war war gives you let's say they tell you you went off to war you fought a war were you allowed to fight a war the Tory gives you the right to fight a war you have the right to write a photo where your right to kill people why cuz the tour gave you that right so you've decided you know what instead of killing people we're gonna take captives and you're allowed to your law that takes life Jews Jewish people took the Canaanites slaves took a que tonight maidservant and she has to serve you now this woman because of what you've done in allocated slaver you have to set her free let's get a hamper with you set her free she may very well go back to her people become an idol worship her again okay why do you set her free so Trevor much a fine steed you benefited from her if you lived with her you've benefited with her from her since you've benefited from her you have a debt of gratitude towards her you have a debt of gratitude you have to learn how to be a grateful person a grateful person doesn't take advantage of people that are free for your benefit not for her benefit because you've got to train your character you have to be a person who recognizes that you have a debt of gratitude the Hebrew gratitude is called a corset off somebody in English somebody who does not somebody who's that great it was that grateful cousin in great you ingrate you know you're somebody serves you a meal oh there's no dessert just served you a meal what do you say thank you for what they gave you instead of focusing what they didn't give you people are in grateful to our in Greece towards their parents or their friends the contemporary people are ingrates I gave you a little bit see after you deserve more that's an ingrate very very bad betta person a person has to know that you have a debt agree that's part of what we have to develop we have to develop it or keep our ego in check not be selfish we also have to develop the characteristic of a car so tough if to recognize the good somebody is done for you and you have to pay back then that you have a debt of a curse at oath you owe her and if you take advantage of her now and turn her into a slave it's bad for your own character development set her free that's what the Torah says this idea you know there was a there was a in England there was a rat got into a house a rat gun to somebody's house in England so the kids in the house took brooms and they have the rat trapped under a bed and they're gonna kill the rat once on the grandfather walks into the room says leave the rad alone so Zeta you know the rats are dangerous or disease real well you know you're gay Kenny says now let the radko he opens up the front orient lets a rat run out because they're why did you let her out go he says look I was in the Holocaust I was in a concentration camp at night it was freezing in the camps we didn't have blankets the only way we could stay warm is that we laid in the bed we lay against each other in our body heat kept each other warm I was the guy on the end of the rope so on one side there was somebody next to me on the other side I was exposed every night the rats who were also cold they came and rubbed up against me because they wanted to stay warm but they kept me warm I have a debt of gratitude threats so leaving read a lot ok now does happen think about it we don't know that the rat in England was related to those rats back there in his barracks in Germany right we're not who said there was any connection between them the answer is conceptually per sale to trade himself that that that I have to train myself to be a grateful person the Gomorrah says a well that you drink out of don't throw a stone in it don't throw a stone into I everything probably saying like that in English also don't throw what they'll throw a stone into while they drink water or something like that I the well is inanimate the well couldn't care less if I throw a stone drop a boulder whatever I do in the wealth well couldn't care less the answer is yeah but what about you what about you what's it going to do to your character your training yourself and again what you had mentioned it's a fence it's a fence on the meadows area that way when I'm involved with a human being when my wife serves me supper I'll remember to say thank you and when my kid goes and gets the newspaper for me I'll remember to say thank you and when somebody gives me a ride I'll remember to say thank you instead of instead of taking around why you should have give me a ride sooner say thank you because it because he did something right that's what the towards teaching you over here or teaching you by the way cuz they have my own pet peeve somebody ever does you a favor don't say yeah sure and don't say tizku l'mitzvot don't do the firm thing because yeah sure karaka means you should be strong tisca limits as with me you do many more mitzvahs that's not thank you that's not thank you that's a brothel wanna give somebody abraha give them all the brush as you want say thank you Thank You humbles you tisca mitzvos doesn't humble you this film it was just an annoying way of getting out of you I you know something you do a 70 a favor you do somebody a favor give some of your Isis tizku l'mitzvot now we're even I give you a ride you gave me a bracha I have earned your Brussels by giving you a writer that's not thank you that's a thank you is good for you forget the other person thanks you good for you it humbles you which is what you suppose feel could you have a debt of gratitude all right tisca mitzvos you