Parsha Perspectives for Today (Vayishlach)

good morning good morning in boca rato welcome back everyone to parsha perspectives for today so grateful as always to our generous sponsors dear friends avi and becky katz and family and loving memory of becky's father david grossman thank you for your generosity also this parshashir is sponsored by elaine jainander of the 45th yard site of her father murder benitez like feigenbaum allah shalom is the should have an aliyah thank you as well for your generosity we have the uh privilege of studying together pasha's vayishlach as we continue to make our way through safer voracious the story the narrative of the formation of our family with its ups and its downs with its function and its dysfunction with its challenges and its uh complications and uh we continue with the story at last left of partial vaishla can be found in the arts crosstalk on page 170 by savage yaakov is now about to reunite with his brother he's going to reunite with asav and he fears for his life of course because asap is an adversary asap is a foe they've had a very competitive and contentious relationship all along isa perceives that yaakov stole the bracha from him and that yaakov tried to assert himself over a7 therefore he does a lot to prepare now there's a lot a lot a lot to talk about on this parasha on the opening of this parasha and we spent last year our passion class discussed in the opening how yaakov planned and what he was worried about in qatar how he felt perhaps diminished from all the goodness that hashem had shown him and somehow as if he was unworthy and uh and so if you want to see more about that i refer you to last year i want to try to get into some other some other things uh this year so periclamine base pasake lightsaber so yaakov anticipating this reunion appoints messengers and he says i want you to go and advance i want you to go and i want you to meet asev and i want you to go and represent me in advance and here's what i want you to do i want you to tell them this is what your your uh master yaakov says we haven't met each other we haven't seen each other because i was living with love on 14 years in yeshiva shame the avery ako stopped another 20 years he's living with love on so it's been 34 years before they have this reunion i've been occupied i've been busy i've been working for a living i've been working for wives in lavangarti i was living with him and i've been delayed i've lingered until now we haven't had a chance to have this reunion to reconcile until now rashi famously tells us on the words of love on garth lest you think that the reason i was delayed i was hung up is because i became some prominent some esteemed individual some distinguished diplomat prince or leader no elegair garthy i was a gayer i was a stranger i was a foreigner i was a sojourner we're about to reunite he sends this agent this messenger give ace of the message don't hate your brother thinking that he has risen he's elevated to some position of stature to you that he has some celebrity status that in fact the barakah that our father gave him that our father gave me yaakov is saying in his words has come true shahara learned this kind of be it has not come true through me rather garthy ger i've been a wanderer i'm an outsider i don't really belong and russia then throws individual garthy and gamatra is the word garthy i lived i so journeyed i traveled i journeyed is the same numerical value the same gematria as tayag his message was in love on hiroshima garth the tarot mitzvot i lived with love on the wicked one but i never ever compromised i kept and i observed tara ignitions i never learned from his evil ways i never learned from his negativity i never learned from that which he taught so first of all in the word we mentioned this last year in the name of rabbi the rav has it in his this year will mention it in the name of but he points out that the word garthy is not yet shafty yaakov does not send the message saying ya shafty i lived with because that would suggest that he had some level of comfort it wasn't he was living it wasn't he residing it was not he integrated or that he was absorbed but rather garthy the word ger means a foreigner a sojourner an outsider and what he was telling him is you should know the reason tarjak mitsubishi says revolver how was i able to do it how did i avoid assimilating and integrating how did i maintain with resolve and tenacity my values my priorities my principles that of our parents that we learned says yaakov you know how tayag mitsu marti you know how i was able to do it because garthy because i always saw myself as an outsider i always saw myself as passing through i always saw myself as not really or fully or truly belonging and because of that i was successful i clung to who i am who we are and this message of revolve is a very powerful message for all of us today that we are living in a country which is not hostile quite the opposite it's loving and it's inviting and it's welcoming i wrote an article a couple weeks ago that in the past our enemies have tried to destroy us with hate and now we're destroying ourselves because with love we are invited to integrate to assimilate to be absorbed to fully belong to yashafti to be a toshav to be a full resident with full status and we need to be out of a healthy dose of garthy of being a gayer we need to remind ourselves that if we're going to succeed in living we're going to succeed in maintaining a vibrant and devoted and committed and enthusiastic jewish life than gaurti then yes we contribute to and we take from the beautiful society in which we live but we do so with a mentality and an attitude with the status of garthy that i don't ever fully belong i don't ever fully integrate that i remain to some degree i remain to some degree an outsider so says revolba how is it so chamati because in love on only garthy not yeshafti but i want to talk to the quarter of druk this year we've been focusing on the wonderful safari ish by of historian mayor druk magnificent satisfaction and he quotes this rashi and he asks we all know this rashi who doesn't know this rashi in love and guarantee targets it rhymes the gematria works out it's a perfect thing for a kid's parachute sheet we all know this ration we all know this rashi but i sort of dropped the question that maybe didn't occur to many of us or at least we didn't think to ask which is why exactly is yaakov sending this message to asaf do you think that asa will be impressed by this message two twin brothers they have a falling out they have a fight one goes to israel for the year and flips out frooms out the other one is off pursuing their hedonistic lifestyle and now it's time to reunite and reconcile so the brother coming back from azir and israel is going to say send the message in advance listen not looking for a fight not looking for conflict or tension let's figure this out let's work this out and by the way in case you have any questions about me i have gotten really from stark mitzvos and all asap is going to be impressed ace of the isho death side each sudden if yaakov says listen i learned how to shoot a gun a bow and arrow i've become a hunter like you i'm a man of the field i checked out all the national parks we have so much to talk about asap we now have so much in common in these 34 years i've learned a lot why does he think that asa is going to be impressed by sending the message that doesn't impress ace of ace if not religious asa is antagonistic to religion aces unimpressed by religion so quotes his father is that his father has wanted to impress his parents all along he presented himself like the pig sticks out at split homes but doesn't chew its god asa would ask questions with an effort to impress the audience in this case his father to suggest that he is somehow vigilant and scrupulous in observance of mitzvos so he would ask for example how do you take tithes how do you take myself on tevin on straw or on salt he would ask on things that halachically you're not required to tithe but he would invoke tithing it's kind of like bageling his own father or the jews who have a little knowledge which is a dangerous thing so they know a few terms they knew a few alohas they knew a few sayings of ghazal and they invoke them whenever they can why because you look more religious you look more righteous you look like you belong you look like you got a fast pass to the world to come if you could keep reusing those few jewish expressions that you know so that was asap asap was not the real deal behind closed doors asa was inconsistent but he liked to present himself he liked to create an impression on others as if he was observer and we have a tendency said rav mordechai druk we tend to project on to others the way we are we assume that others behave or are motivated or rationalized the way we do what we think in our own mind the conversations in our own head we assume others are having in their head so asap says yeah yaakov i got it you're the righteous kid isho ishta yoshiva we grew up i was the troublemaker i was always suspended you were the goody two shoes you were in the honor society i got it you were trying to impress mom and dad i was trying to impress mom and dad but let's be honest the reality is both of us are probably faking it both of us are frauds both of us are impastors so yaakov sends this message ahead to a7 he says yakov sends his message ahead and he says listen asap i want you to know without judgment you're who you are god bless you but me i'm the real deal i'm consistent i'm constant all the way through i didn't behave one way when we were in front of mom and dad i didn't act one way when we were in yeshiva and then the moment i graduated our home or the moment i graduated are yeshiva i then became who i really was all along now i've been consistent i am and i believe and i behave what the way i do because it's who i am not to impress others i'm really the destiny the future of our father is really through me because let's admit it you're an imposter you don't really believe it and the evidence is the moment that you were away from mom and dad the moment you escaped them you behaved however you wanted but i i'm consistent all the way through so if there's anyone who's gonna receive the mantle if there's anyone who's gonna take the baton to be able to pass it forward is going to be me that was the message so if druck asked tiger mezzo marty asa is going to care asa is going to be impressed tell him that you won you know you were the captain of the basketball team tell me you won the intramural league tell me you became a hunter tell him you know how to shoot a bow and arrow target mr chamati that's what's going to impress asap and the answer is no what will impressive asav is to make contact to be exposed to somebody who's real who's authentic who's genuine who's consistent who's toho kubota the outside and the inside they they they are they are consistent they are the same bizel generally a person sees the other and evaluates and measures the other as a mirror according to the way we are calculated we assume that the way we behave and what motivates us and who we are and how we rationalize is the same conversation everyone else is having in their head and is what was being and that's what was being corrected but rav rook the son ravi sula marriage the author of this talmud has a different interpretation and i love it and i can't wait to share it with you this morning i'm so happy that you're here to learn it with me and he says the following says review i want to offer another suggestion and i want to explain it based on the gemara and we all know this story there was once a non-jew a gentile who came before hillel the elder lamar lolondani is called he stood on one foot and he said teach me the whole torah on one foot this book what is it all about teach me the whole thing and teach it to me on on one foot what's it really all about what's it really saying so what did he'll answer if you were unmuted you could all say it once in unison because you know you have to love your neighbor as yourself and what you don't want done don't do to others and yi dak zil gamor the rest is commentary you want to know the whole torah on one foot it's easy it'll take one moment love your neighbor as yourself don't turn to others what you would not done emotion if he was really making a joke if he was really a farce what do you need hillary if he's having the guy by ms and if he really wanted to convert why didn't hillary really say okay let's start alabas moda let me teach you mitzvos what's really going on in the story so he says we can explain based on an insight of the arahaim the rahmakullah says hashem commanded every jew tariq you open the torah and the moneta mitzvos the end of marcos tells us we have a tradition 613 a combination of every jew's luggage and every jews um briefcase if it doesn't work try 1967 and you'll get in any jewish lock targets tells us that we have a commandment 613 mitzvos so we have a tradition that we've been commanded 613 missiles but we cannot find an individual who himself or herself would in fact be obligated or even be able to fulfill all six thirteen zelda oscar and lady israel men and women calling levy israel time to the base of mikdash no basement carbanos no carbonas in israel outside of israel it's impossible you cannot wine one person who themselves can either volunteer or be obligated in all of them the answer is that achieving the level of target mitzvos for claudius for the jewish people to actually get to a place where they are fulfilling tariq mitsos it can only be done in combination it can only be done in cooperation it can only be done in community you have to have a sense of community so the cohen's doing what the holy needs to do and the lady does what the lady needs to do and the israel does believe me the jews of the diaspora and the jews of irish israel the jews of this and the jews are that and then in combination in cooperation with the sense of community then and only then can you really fulfill tariq mitos well is that rama's and says that's what hillel was answering the convert you want all of torah on one foot the aha it's going to take it's going to take the cooperation and the collaboration of all of the jewish people because not no one person is the orgaim the says no one jew can either volunteer or be obligated in our target mitzvos so if you want to get to the level of tariq mitzvos it's going to take tremendous sense of cooperation it cannot be done alone and that's all total one yaakov that's what yaakov was saying why did yaakov send these angels these messengers rashi says they're not angels these are actual physical messengers he's sending agents ambassadors ahead and he gives the reason why tell them the goal was you know feel them out break the ice make some comfort levels indicate the how could he have said i fulfilled authority which is impossible no one's you can do it all yet really it's only going to be because we are a community and collaboration so the same way yaakov so yaakov was embedding a message for asaf says rav druk he was embedding a message and what was the message he was embedding in love and guarantee i lived with love him retired mitzvah marti and i observed all taryag i how can one jew observation it's impossible it means i lived with love on but i didn't live selfishly i didn't live egotistically i didn't live only about myself mitzvah i brought an attitude of collaboration community cooperation and the same way i did that to achieve fulfilling tariq mitzvos i want to create collaboration and cooperation with you my brother i want to reconcile i want to come together so yaakov was embedding this message of reconciliation and cooperation within the words tired myths of shamathi which are impossible for any one or singular jew to achieve themselves but it's the next shot in rav druk that i'm really excited to share with you he again he quotes uh rashi here and he now says the following another question you've heard and read this rashi a million times you may not have asked any of these questions but this is his next question we already just spoke about you can't do it all by yourself but there's another question yaakov says in la vanguarti which is the gematria tariq mitzvos shamarti why did he say tayag mitsos shamarti shamati means i guarded i protected what should yaakov have said if indeed he wanted to communicate to asap i kept i observed i fulfilled all 6 13 commandments then he shouldn't have said shamati i guarded but rather he should have said i fulfilled. it makes more sense when talking about a mitzvah to talk about him fulfilling it than it does to talk about shmeera protecting it so listen to whatever joke says pastor compassion says and it will be if you heed if you listen to these laws uh if you guard and if you do what's the difference between guarding and doing ushmartem vasisem guard them and do them what's the difference between guarding and doing so says uh what's the difference we find throughout torah these words go together tishmaru to guard protect and asea to do what's the difference between the two so in order to answer them the answer them is the following the answer to them is the following he says he gives one answer i want to skip but i want to go to the second one he says the answer is that the word shamar means not only to guard or protect it certainly doesn't mean to do the word shamar means to anticipate to look forward to be excited sorry i skipped going back yeah we're going to read later in the parasha that yaakov and they said go their separate ways and where does yakov go so the posix says and we're going to get to this momentarily yaakov comes to shechem in canaan and how does he arrive there how does the torah describe how he arrives there but yaakov he comes whole fulfilled and rasheed says mugufo he has now healed chinese rapping with lee also he's now full in his body he went for rehab he had physical therapy he recovered from the injury of the angel he was he made back the whole gift all the 610 animals that he gave to a sub the market went up he recovered his losses he was shelby momono he was made all with his money and charlie missed a russo and he was whole with his torah he never forgot the lessons of his father or the lessons of yeshua shame he held on to his learning he was a ben torah even in the home of love on ben toro for life why now when he gets to him why now once he leaves asap is he considered to be whole and complete when it comes to his torah and here the hardship number all the things that i am commanding you there says this is your learning that you have to protect in your kishkas in your gut to never ever forget it the learning that you put inside you that you absorb that transforms you never ever forget it refers to your learning which is not external it's not academic it's not theoretical it's not scholarly but a learning that is in fact absorbed it's embedded it's imbibed inside us learn it well so you can safeguard and protect it learn it well so it becomes a part of who you are and you'll remember it and carry it forward and it transforms you and that's what it means to me whenever you see the word of smart she says means not the fulfillment of mitzvos it means the learning and the observance of mitzvos it means how we do the missiles it means how we do the mitzvos and so therefore similarly here shmore means mitsu shamati means it's not i fulfill them we already pointed out it's impossible phil all 613 by ourselves what does it mean what does it mean shamati not ki yamti means i learned about them i never stopped having my mind on the mitzvos on total learning wherever i was on vacation at work in a hostile environment in a foreign culture or in my own home wherever i was tired not i fulfilled but shamarti i never stopped learning i never stopped thinking i never stopped growing but the word shamar means something else also and lastly and then we'll move on the word shamar has another connotation like later when yosef is sold by his brothers and disappears and yaakov is inconsolable yaakov cannot find closure and the pasik describes the aviv it means that his father yaakov held on to the matter he looked forward to being reunited he never gave up hope he counted down to when they would be together the viv the word shamar means not to safeguard and hold it means to protect with anticipation you see if there's an idea a concept of value which you easily dismiss which you don't care about what you're casual about then you've not protected it you've not safeguarded it but if there's something you're excited about you're looking forward to it's part of what defines you if you hold on to it that's to be shamar that's what it means that yaakov was inconsolable what was he showmere he would shall marry his son yosef that they would be you reunited that they come together again the after of the audi stroll i've shared this many times the after of probably yeshua hashel he writes that's what it means to be a shomer shabbas show merchambus is not to observe the laws of shabbos shomer shabbas is not to keep the 39 categories of creative labor chamber shabbos is not to make kiddish in abdullah shomer shabbas he writes boldly doesn't even happen on shabbos to observe the laws of shabbos is not to be ashamed of shabbos you know what show me shabbos means when you said this morning at the end of davening hayom yom shlishi bashabas today is not tuesday what's tuesday today is the third day in the countdown to shabbos when your life is a countdown to something that's what it means to be shemar shabbas is coming today is the third day in the count to shabbas so that's what it means to be ashamed shabbat says the after of and that says is what it means that's what it means doesn't mean doesn't mean that i chianti why doesn't it say empty why does it say shamarti what it means is yaakov says i can't wait i'm holding on to this idea i'm going to i'm going to transmit it to my children and their children after them the whole enterprise of torah and mitzvos this entire life and lifestyle tarek mitsos shamati i cherish it i love it i celebrate it and that's also a contemporary question for us none of us can fulfill all target mitzvos not because we're not dedicated or devoted but you cannot simultaneously be a cohen olivia and israel live inside israel and outside of israel there is no based on mitesh today and therefore we are precluded from tariq mitzvah's key empty it's impossible to observe or fulfill all target mitzvos whether we want to or not it is simply an impossibility however that we can all do we can all be chomera tariq mitsos our attitude and our passion our priority what we transmit and communicate to those around us is it impossible but admits us this life and lifestyle a total life that is not only a possibility but it is our responsibility paragliding based test valve moving right along possibly describes that yaakov sends ahead of him with his malach he spends the night there and he sends these gifts to his brother is sounds like some barbecue 200 she-goats 20 he goats 200 used 20 rams 30 nursing camels with their colts 40 cows 10 bulls 20 donkeys and 10 donkeys add it all up rashi says it's not even a complete list rashi has a tradition about an extra few that are added on top of that and rashi says how many animals did yaakov send none other than 610 what is the significance of that number i don't know not for now 610 animals he sends to his brother asap why does he send 610 animals and how does he position those animals what is their posture zachdarashi look at the garage talks about how many and why that number and what we learned from this about interpersonal relationships between a husband and wife where's this rashly yeah uh place space between them possibly and i stopped too soon and yaakov instructs his servants he says make sure that each of these groupings of animals that there's space that there's margin between them make sure they each go separately leave a space leave margin between each of these droves between each of these units of animals says why would you have that separation yaakov wanted each grouping of animal to be separated to be distinct to be a part why because he wanted to trick asap you know what happens with the mind's eye when from a distance you see the animals all spread out it'll look like even many more exponentially greater not just 610 which what's asa going to do with 610 animals it's enormous not just 610 but if you put that margin in space between it and you spread it out it will look like even more and that will seem like even a larger gift it'll be even more impressive and will make asa even more predisposed even more likely to be willing to reconcile so rashi says what's the goal what's the purpose of the distancing in order to further appease asav in order to give him the greater impression that that there's even more coming he'll be more impressed and i'll be even more likely to reunite with him it's a marketing strategy it is a perception issue the swarno gives another interpretation and look at this formula again we're on paraglam it basically it's the article page 174. para klama bayes pasok yudzyn lam and base yazai so said that was rashi says the swarno you know why he wanted him to spread it out each group would be alone and spread it out so first he says send male and female because he wants asap to know you'll be able to put them together and they will propagate and promulgate and they'll be able to reproduce and what starts at 610 i'm sending you even much greater gift rashi says spread it out it's marketing it looks like more smarter goes even more and says no by sending male and female you are empowering and enabling asap to not only receive that gift but for it to expand even more going forward swano continues and place the rabbi between them so that these different animals will not jump out of their pen won't jump out of their grouping and intermingle and then if somebody were to see they would get mixed up the onlooker wouldn't understand the wisdom of the gift and its blessing says this forno you know why it's important to play sarah you know why it's important because the swarner is placing an emphasis on the notion of seder order be organized keep it together yaakov is not doing so because he's doing it to impress asap according to rashi this comment of ten revac place margin and space between them is all part of the strategy and effort to impress ace of according to the swarno no this is a value yaakov has a value of living with seder be organized be organized live with order everything's got to be neatly and laid out and you need to have a sense of margin that revac that margin is a very critical value and a very critical lesson in life we spoke about the notion of seder of order before pesach of why we celebrate freedom with seder with order because in fact there's freedom freedom comes through discipline you think the opposite you think that freedom means you can be on discipline do what you want enjoy life it's the opposite when you're disciplined with money you have more money when you're disciplined with time you have more discretionary time the more disciplined you are with your things the longer they last freedom through discipline so yaakov was communicating according to this foreign message here that order you have to be organized and live with order put them in such a way where there's clarity not confusion don't let them intermingle don't let them jump one to another don't let other people not appreciate the value and the idea of margin in our life margin is very important in fact it's a halacha it's a halacha this is a tangent but a worthwhile one for a moment in mezuzah and that the writing philanthropy to be mook of gvl mukhafiel means that around the letters around the ink has to be parchment blank parchment if letters run one into another puzzle no good no good can it be salvaged can it be saved you need a proper and capable and competent scribe is so fair but if the letters of a torah or tillen or a mezuzah if the letters are touching even if they're touching in a barely perceivable way it will possible it will invalidate the mezuzah that's filling or the safety torah the letters have to be mook of kvil why there has to be margin there has to be space each letter represents another jew six hundred thousand letters of the torah every jew is his own life our lives need to be filled with margin we need the black letters but we also need the blank space the blank space is the margin we live within our lives we live with such noise and we live with such running one thing into the other momentum but it's really not momentum it's motion sickness we have no margin there is no break there are no boundaries there are no borders you know why is it that every book every safer you own why don't they make the letters run from the edge of the page to the edge of the page the top to the bottom why are there margins in a book it would save a lot of money the book could be a lot shorter print the print the text over the whole page why is there margin there's a there's a wisdom to the layout that publishers use when they produce books with margin because what is most appealing to the eye the eye needs to rest i needs a break the eye needs margin so according to the surname yaakov is yakov is expressing his commitment to the concept of margin there has to be rev there has to be space between the between these groupings of the flock between these animals there must be a space is communicating so rashi says trace of marketing to impress them this morning says there's zachary in the cave they're male and female animals he's telling asif i'm not just sending you this group of animals i'm sending you the possibility of their reproducing and you'll have many more enemies more animals as well and why does he have the space the margin it's jacob's commitment to margin but there's a beautiful medrash the madras writes the following asap is an enemy adversary i don't know how this is going to go this could be a tsar it's an estara it's a moment of crisis a moment of difficulty a moment that i need you hashem if my life or the lives of my children and progeny will be filled with sorrows please do me a favor space them out put some margin between them create perspective and context for them one of the challenges of going through crisis and hard time is we begin to think that that's forever this pandemic these eight nine months i don't even know what we're at and how long it's been it's way too long that i know but it begins to feel that this is a new normal and this is life forever i have a grandson who's uh one years old and it occurred to me the overwhelming majority of his life he has seen adults wearing masks he doesn't know that there's such a world in which you don't have to wear a mask it doesn't occur to him he's never seen people shake hands he doesn't see people staying within six feet of one another he's one years old the majority of his life almost his entire life has been this pandemic please god he'll grow out of it and learn what normalcy really looks like but we also like that one-year-old can easily think that this is normalcy that this is life we've forgotten the ability to zoom out the lens and to see a bigger context and to see a bigger perspective and to see a bigger timeline and to know where we are on it and that's yakuza says the measures to hashem his feeling is the same way i've spaced out these animals in anticipation of reuniting with my brother asav please space out that sorrows that will come to my children and to me in life create a perspective and a context let me see them as part of a greater whole and not be too focused in on them that i can't see anything else that's also the role of margin you need a break it can't feel like it's piling up and compounding and overwhelming and suffocating there needs to be a break between them so that we can we can reinvigorate ourselves to be able to withstand them to be able to to be able to overcome them he tells the angel the uh messengers keep calling the main shells but they're actual messengers he says you're going to see my brother right he tells this messenger when you encounter my brother and he will ask you saying let me atta to whom do you belong where are you going and what's all of this what is all these property and children and people and things what is all of this so you're going to answer him so it belongs to my master yaakov your brother who sent me to bring it to you and he owns all of this and these are children and these are his things and so on in the o u s miss leviticus says the following my brother is told his agents will ask you three questions whom do you belong to whom do you as a metaphysical being as a soul as a spiritual being belong and where are you going to whom is your historical destiny committed and to whom have you consecrated your future what is your ultimate goal your final objective who is your god and what is your way of life these two inquiries are related to your identity as members of a covenantal community however yaakov continued my brother asap will also ask a third question and for whom are these before you are you ready to contribute your talents capabilities and efforts towards them towards the material and cultural welfare of the general society are you willing to pay taxes to develop and industrialize the country this third inquiry is focused on the temporal aspects of life service leviticus interprets these three questions not as being mundane they're not simply a common courtesy asa is not just asking you know who are you where are you going but these are actually existential questions that asap is trying to understand who has yaakov become and what is the life that he's living and the rav doesn't write it but he's giving yahoo telling us that these are the questions that are asked to each and every one of us i spoke under a chuppah on sunday and i told the young hassan and kala that in that moment in this transitional moment in their life they too are asked these questions where do you come from parents grand friend what are your roots and where are you going what is your mission what is your ambition what are your aspirations in life and all the things that you have all the resources and the strength and the skills all the material possessions lamey what are you going to do with it how are you going to channel it how are you going to make the world a better place with it why do you have it these are the questions that were asked not just from asaf to the messengers of yaakov but these are the questions that are asked each and every one of us yaakov told his agents to answer the third question in the positive it is a gift sent to the master we feel obligated to enrich society with our creative talents to be constructive and useful citizens yet in regards to the first two questions the command that is representative to reply in the negative clearly and precisely boldly and courageously he commanded them to tell isa that their soul their personality their metaphysical destiny their spiritual future and sacred commitments belong exclusively to god and his servant yaakov are not just three questions that were asked from aso towards yaakov these are the three questions that are asked towards us and to which we all need to formulate answers they reunite yaakov vanessa i want to get on in the parsha they reunite and uh isa challenges his brother they have this encounter he hugs and he kisses there's dots on top of the word we have the literal he kissed him but we also have the tradition that it was insincere he was trying to kill him rashid quotes one that he too was the son of yitzhak and rifka asap had a soul there was a spark there was a uh inside of him of where he came from and there was sincerity in that moment there was authenticity by if that he cried even this this hunter even this jock even this athlete even this asaph had a soft spot inside of him even he broke down in tears even he was capable of crying in that moment rashi quotes so that they raise their eyes and they see all of this and and aesthetic inquires of answers he says all this my stuff i have allah take what you have i don't need yeshli rav ace of says i have seven cars and four vacation arms and three lear jets yesterday i have a lot i'm good to go i'm not going to try to take from you so yaakov says they have a back and forth and what's yakko's response when asa asks him about his life yaakov doesn't say ishli rav i have a lot what does yaakov say yishli kol yishli ko i've got everything i've got everything that's a contrast the ace of mentality is ishli rav i have a lot i can never have enough i always want more no matter how much i have i have a lot but it's never enough i always want more and the yaakov mentality the yaakov attitude is yeshlikol whatever i have i have everything because it's what was destined for me it's what god determined is the right thing for me where did yaakov get that from that attitude that lesson that that approach of yeshua where did he get that from he got that from none other than of course his father yitzhak who got it from his father avraham we're not gonna spend the time on this now there's a beautiful um in oro sa chuva of cook explains the mentality of of coal the attitude of what i have possibly says what is coal so even ezra there says he had a lot of things he spells out what the coal is but other interpretations say no no yay call means that avraham had a mentality of philosophy an approach an editor towards life of having everything he had a very panoramic view of the world and he saw the way it all worked together and he understood that hashem was pulling the strings and he was down behind it and no matter what he had or he was lacking because when does it say when does avraham begin this attitude of coal once he's lost sarah he's lost his life partner his other or better half and that's when he says i have everything it's in that moment that he feels he has everything because he sees the world operating with synthesis and harmony a panoramic view of the whole world and he takes that coal and he hands it off to yitzhak avram takes his sense of coal and he gives that bracha to yitzhak it's not a coincidence that when yashmal is born the torah warns us that ishmael is that his hand will be upon that sense of coal ishmael is trying to fight destroy goodness and optimism and hope and synthesis that yishmael the whole life is to introduce tension and conflict yado bakol ba we stubbornly hold on to our attitude of coal even though yishmael is trying to compromise or corrupt the coal yodobakol yad kobo we hold on to it it says avram took this coal and he gave it to yitzchak and now it's what gave it to yaakov yaakov says yeshuli cole i have everything very very fundamental and what what do we ask for when we bench each time invention we say harajuku bless the sense of cold that we have breast bless this tradition of coal that we've been given the ability to look at life and say whatever i have i have what i need i have what's meant for me commotion is like it says and now in our passion yaakov says hashem you let them and you gave them that ability to live with that give it to us bless us with that sense of coal that when we're living in life we too can look out at life why do i share that with you today because i share it with you uh thanksgiving tuesday which came after cyber monday which came after black friday every day now has a we we call it we are shabbos for us the days of the week are defined by how we're counting down towards shabbos but the world around us is defining the days of the week by what we could buy for ourselves it's very interesting black friday do you know black friday where it got its name it traces itself back to 1951 and it was called black friday because people would call in sick they wanted a long weekend thursday they had off thanksgiving and then was the weekend in order to bridge the gap and get the weekend off a long weekend they would call in sick so they called it black friday everybody was sick taking the day off that's the origin of black friday later it came record on the philadelphia police department to describe the congestion the traffic black friday the highways were packed because people were going to shop and now it's black friday because what people are willing to do they trample one another they kill one another they elbow and fight one another in order to buy things isn't it amazing does it ever strike you the contrast of thanksgiving the day where you say i'm grateful for what i have and then not one day later not one day later it's not ungrateful for what i have but i don't have enough black friday i need more i'll elbow and trample and break through glass i'll go online i'll i'll accrue great debt because i don't have enough so in the world we're living in we go from thanksgiving we go from the day where i say i'm grateful for what i have really it's an attitude of yeshua rav i'm thank i'm thanksgiving thanksgiving for yeshi rav but clearly you don't feel ashley cole or there wouldn't be some of the horrific embarrassing shameful behavior on black friday we are the progeny of yakov we don't say yeshli rav we live with an attitude of mentality we say yes the mentality and the attitude of i have enough whatever i have it's enough it doesn't mean i don't have ambition and aspiration it doesn't mean i don't work harder doesn't mean i don't try to do more doesn't mean i'm not allowed to treat myself to things but i do so within a context and a perspective that hashem has given me what i need what i deserve what's right for me is and therefore i can live with an attitude of yeshly cole i always have enough like yaakov moving right along now they depart ways after this reunion by the yaakov yaakov comes home to irsham and we already described how he was shawling beautiful says something very beautiful today says he comes into your shechem and he says russia tables the word shalem is shame and malbush what does it mean that he came whole he came with harmony he came feeling at peace here he spent thirty four years on the road fourteen sheila aimer twenty working for lavan he survived lavan not he observed them but either he was committed to community cooperation collaboration which is what tyrex suggests we can only do it if we do it together or as we said target he continued to learn and he anticipated look forward and now after 34 years he's finally shelling he feels whole he's reconciled he's no longer afraid of asavi knowing on the run for mesa he comes to the city of shechem says the helicopter is shapira he says what does it mean shalem shalem is a russian you have to have a jewish name and a jewish way of speaking and a jewish appearance that's what it means for a jew to be whole shaolin malbush to be whole you have to be whole in those three ways that is what the binay is says what happens when they get to no longer doesn't take very long and vatica dina dina goes out dina goes out is she to blame she she goes out she's bas leia rashid says lobasakov she's not associated or identified with the akov she's associated identified with leia why it's an indictment of leia hashemity leo went out and dino went out and what does it mean to go out and this is a comment about women or men or all of us it's an idea about boundaries we need boundaries in our lives and when we violate those boundaries men or women when we violate those boundaries that's what it means yazanis is to go out to go out means to be able to pierce through to be able to break through boundaries you know we talk about breaking the glass ceiling and that's important and it's lovely and we should we're breaking down stereotypes and we're breaking down barriers and we're breaking down artificial limits break those glass ceilings but don't break through boundaries boundaries are very important boundaries keep us moral and ethical boundaries keep us loyal and when we break those down we're in yatsanas this quality of yitzia of going out going out beyond the boundaries that are set of appropriateness of interpersonal of moral behavior when we break down those boundaries and yatsanas then problems arise and that's not to blame the victim dina is an absolute victim and shreem is the perpetrator and one never ever ever should blame the victim that's not what rashi's telling us is the lesson but rashi is telling us however in response that we should think about what we do in order to create a moral society a moral society with strong boundaries that will enable and empower us to be able to live without these dangers so deena goes out and via subscribe from the son of harmony and he rapes her he wants her he likes her hashtag me too he violates her but now she'll be s then he falls in love with her and he says you know that i want to continue this. he says to his father i want to marry her set it up call the shah send the resume get it done yaakov is and what do they do we know the whole story ensues torah tells us this whole story of shimon and levy hashem and lady take matters into their own hands they take matters into their own hands and what do they do they set up a phenomenal ruse i don't know when when when you killed the chief nuclear scientist in iran come on do you not swell with pride do you not say to yourself really there are jewish people who can sneak into a foreign country and pull off a a episode like that and kill this this terrible person and get out without anyone seeing them knowing them and then never take credit for it i mean it's it's tragic that we need to do that it's tragic that our people our sons have had to learn that skill set and take those risks but do you not swell with a little bit of pride that they can so shimon and levy say here's the deal shimon and levy are the are the commando unit shim and levy are the elite unit in yakko's army and they say to themselves we're going to take matters in our own hand and here's the deal they say um no problem you can marry our sister it's a beautiful shirt we'll have a fantastic wedding a big orchestra schmorg it's going to be great but here's the deal our sister can't marry somebody who's nishkamat our sister can't marry somebody who doesn't have a bris mila you and the entire nation need to need to circumcise yourselves and when you do now you're eligible now you qualify for our sister shrimp says that's all it takes strictly surgery on myself painful but for a woman for love i'll do it circumcises himself they all circumcise themselves on the third day when they're the weakest and vulnerable and compromised levy and shimon come and they wipe them out they destroy them we only have a few minutes left but i want to touch on a few ideas within this number one idea is how is that moral or ethical how is that possible collective punishment rape dina so take shaq behind the barn and do what you got to do pay him back make a statement that nobody's ever going to do that to the jewish people again but how do you practice collective punishment against all the people of of shechem what we call hamur of that whole city how is that possible the ramban is bothered by this on our pasha and the ramban writes we know later in parishes to his sons he calls shaman a lady impetuous he's critical of them he says you put all of us in danger you risked us with your impetuous behavior towards shechem and hamur they should have killed shechem alone what right did they have to kill more so the ramban quotes the rambam he quotes the rambam and then says you know why dinim one of the shiva's mets has been in one of the seven height laws is setting up courts and a system of justice and the fact that the people of the city didn't hold shechem accountable they didn't execute justice pun intended they therefore themselves became culprits they became accomplices and therefore they would deserve him says the rambam one of the seven laws you've got to carry out justice and their failure to carry out justice against made them accomplices and made themselves worthy of this attack says i don't buy it yaakov should have applauded them if that were the case what they did was right yaakov should have given them a big yashikawa why does it become angry at them so the ramban gives another answer ramban is his own explanation but the morale of prague on this position is guryary says the following what the rest of the people of the city do where's the ethics of carrying out a collective punishment and he writes near the location um you know the torah has laws of murder the torah has laws of self-defense the torah has the interpersonal one-on-one laws but what happens in a war why is one army allowed to ever kill the other army isn't that an act of murder so morale reminds us that war has entirely different laws than non-war in a non-war context there are rules that regulate how we bathe with one another and in a war context not that all is fair in war and love or war and whatever that quote is but there are rules that regulate war also but in war there's a different barometer there's a different threshold therefore the maharal understands that shimon and ladies saw themselves at war when you do that to our sister dina we are at war with you and in war there's not collective punishment there's a nation fighting another nation what were the ethics of dropping the bomb on hiroshima what are the ethics of attacking a city which is harboring terrorists even if innocent civilians may die what are the ethics what are the laws what are the morals of doing so the morale says it depends this difference in a one-on-one conflict or a war between nations and a war between nations it's true with all wars war is very different rashford [Music] he talks about things true in israel if terrorists are shooting rockets from gaza and israel has to figure out how to respond is israel bound by the laws of war or is israel bound by the laws of an interpersonal conflict between two people and then afghani the practical difference is collective punishment what are the consequences towards civilians now israel better than any army ever tries to protect innocent civilians and civilian life but in the context of war it does what it has to do and he writes there is a medina you know what did the when did the war of independence 1948 war end i once took a group of teens to israel and on the bus from the airport our tour guide turned to those teams and he said when was the war for independence and they knew they answered 1948. and he said when did that war end how did it last and this one said this date this one said it lasted that long and he turned to them i'll never forget he said it hasn't ended yet that war for israel's independence has not yet ended israel remains and if shakhtar here writes halali it remains in a perpetual state of war against its enemies that war has not ended yet mirza shem it should in our day speedily and he quotes the case there are different rules that regulate this all together different rules so that is the question of collective punishment a very important one i want to end with one or two more quick points we learned from here how old were shimon and levi how old were they when they avenged their sister how old were they when they stand up to intervene to intercede and to say not on my watch we have a tradition that they were 13 years old that they were bar mitzvah and we see from here that the age of bar mitzvah is 13 if they were 13 and that's when they became men and they took matters into their own hand we gave a shirt earlier this year in the afternoon cola bar mitzvah if you want to listen it's on youtube or rabbi from goldberg.org the making of a godot what it means to be bar and bat mitzvah and the fascinating source is enough time to run through all of them it's a mission imperique almost and why is it at 13 for a boy and 12 for a girl does it have to do with mental maturity physical maturity what does it correspond with physical maturity why is physical maturity matter why is that age we went through all these different sources and fascinating fascinating sources i wanted to share with you one which is the babachi ever writes you test kislya does this coming shabbos the bible character writes in the sikha in the volume five of sikho and parties it's in the yiddish so i won't read it to you not because you won't understand but because i will butcher if i try to read to you the yiddish but the baba travis says the following he says you know why you become a goddess 13 just because shum and lady were 13 when they became a brothel because you know what it means to be a gobble what it means to be a godol is to care about the people around you to be a cut on to be a minor is to care only about yourself a baby a little baby i'm hungry i'm tired i want to eat i mean my diaper changed what i want what i want what i want to be a goddall to be mature to reach the age of maturity means to be able to say it's not what i want i care about other people my sister i'm going to step up and defend her it's to care about the people around us it's not a coincidence the pastor says motion became a gobble what does it mean to become a goddamn to go out and see the people around you by our best and to see their suffering and to care about it and to want to intervene succeed and to want to make their lives better that's what it means to be a gundle if you only care about yourself i don't care if you're 100 years old you're a little baby and if you're four years old but you've learned to care about people around you you are already showing the signs of maturity to be a guddall to be a the age of majority to be mature means to see outside yourself to care outside yourself that is what shimon and levi do and lastly because we have not yet said behind the vision and all these different uh commentators wonder kill scheme what right do you have collective punishment to kill everybody the immaculate division also asked and he says why did the rest of the city agree to be circumcised they weren't getting dina as a reward why did they agree because in order to pursue promiscuity and licentiousness for pleasure of the flesh they were willing to endure pain of the flesh it shows who they were all along and therefore they need to be wiped out uh people who are ballet willing to give in to such lust and temptation are people that are dangerous that are that are contagious and therefore they were entitled to get rid of them and therefore it was in their right much more to say as always but we end here tomorrow morning we continue at 8 15 with messiah 10 minutes of meaning 8 45 living with the moon and tomorrow night i know you're waiting to hear who's our guest we're going behind the beam at 9 pm tomorrow night with the one and only rabbi yolo gold it's going to be a fascinating conversation here's a big announcement to make about an upcoming video 9 o'clock tomorrow night behind the bema thank you as always to our sponsors if you would like to sponsor an upcoming week please email lee at brsonline.org leahbiersonline.org stay happy stay healthy and stay holy