Parsha Perspectives for Today (Vayeira, 5783) - Leave an Ethical Will

okay good morning everyone welcome back to partial perspectives for today so glad and grateful and excited to be resuming our learning together of the parish this morning we have the privilege of learning together parishes Valera page 78 in the earth called Stone Hamish as always we begin with our attitude of gratitude tremendous thanks to our series sponsors Becky and Abby cats and family and memory Becky's Father David Grossman this morning is also sponsored by Eric fromman commemoration of the yard side of Harold dubo TV Hirsch benona Dove the 15th of anonymously in honor of the years Lieberman Hill lefkowitz in memory of their husband father and grandfather are dear and beloved member someone who was a pillar of our community did so much for us Dr Howard Trachtenberg who sorely missed heinzi hirschben bin Yemen on azir outside the 19th of tremendous thank you to all of those sponsors one last housekeeping note before we dive into the Parsha together we've started a new what's sap group for the partial perspectives so for those who want to be on to know the schedule when she was on or off for the Parsha perspective print out the write-up that you could print for your shabba's table bonus material extra divery Torah you can take out your phone right now or remember to do it later and go to Rabbi Efron goldberg.org WhatsApp Rabbi FM goldberg.org WhatsApp and there are the links to join each of the WhatsApp group for every share I give because each group each year will have a WhatsApp group will post bonus material some of the sources keep uh up to date about the share whether it's on or off and where and where you can find it online so if you'd like to access all of that go to Rabbi Efron goldberg.org WhatsApp and you can find it all right there okay with that let's dive into the Parsha page 78 as I said in the article Stone the sun is out high in the sky avram avinu is sitting outside nonetheless the thought of not the idea of living a self-centered egocentric life of being focused only on himself and his happiness is more painful than baking in the sun we can relate here in South Florida the weather has turned and it is beginning to be magnificent and I see many of you have arrived welcome back to South Florida by the way the um we know what it's like in the summer here to bake in that sun it's oppressive it absolutely draws all the energy out of you it can knock you out we are desperate to get back inside back in the air conditioning back in the shade back in the cool weather and avrah mavina says a thought the thought of being inside by myself the thought of neglecting or ignoring people who could need my help no way absolutely not he refuses and he sits and he sits outside there are several magnificent things to learn about avram's set here in this case one the author of calm wonders if the turtle wants to delineate the Torah wants to elaborate the Torah wants to communicate and educate about the importance of significant and the details of how to do why does it choose that now with people now with human beings not with we know that avram avinu the planet took care of his guests in extraordinary ways he went to Great Lengths he didn't live this any stone unturned he did incredible things for them and yet when the turtle wants to delineate and elaborate it doesn't do so whenever Avenues actually helping other human beings it does so in the context of what with whom when avram is helping none other than malachem and Angels so why not elaborate later why not elaborate in the context of helping actual people who have actual history on his needs and lacks in their life why does the Torah specifically elaborate here in the context of the Angel so says the author of the Torah here is trying to plant within us an incredibly important foundation you might say to yourself you learn this narrative you read about this episode at what conclusion might you reach wow what a waste what a waste I'm not going to spend time spent money spent energy got his family involved who also by the way were recovering from Bruce Mueller and what a waste he did it all for people who didn't need it they were malachem they weren't tired they weren't hungry they weren't anything because they were Angels they weren't even people so one might read this episode and conclude wow what a total and utter waste but that would be a terrible mistake says the author have come because that presumes that presupposes for whom do we do hasid who is the hasid really all about the recipient who is the beneficiary the target of the but that's a mistake because when we do it's not only about providing the need for another it's about cultivating within ourselves the Instinct and the intuition of kindness of being magnanimous of being generous of being giving of being good and so you're right it turns out that these were angels and it turns out these resources didn't go to those who really need it turns out I've spent a lot of time in a lot of energy where it wasn't really needed but you know what tell us Hashem wants our heart and all these mitts and all these behaviors and all these mandates are to try to mold and fashion and transform our hearts to turn us into givers not takers to turn us into people who are focused on others not ourselves to become selfless not selfish so even though you're right there's going to be outliers there's going to be hopefully a minority of cases where the person didn't really need to receive but in the end of the day it's really about us becoming transforming ourselves to become givers and that's why it says the author of calm when we Daven we say in our diving um so what did he find about avram that his actions are Neman s levo his heart is his heart was trustworthy and faithful and reliable because forever it's all about his heart having a good heart expanding his heart and nourishing his heart and having a heart that is a giving heart and I find this a powerful message not only because when it comes to you know sometimes it's not about over examining the worth the worthiness of the recipient but sometimes it's about there's an opportunity presented for us are we going to do what's right are we going to do are we going to be givers are we going to be kind are we going to be generous boy it's not always always about an evaluation an analysis on the worthiness of the recipient and you know sometimes there's going to be outliers in all of us for our community and those who knock on the door of our homes they're going to be people who come collect and we find out later they didn't really need to find out later they were frauds or that they were capable of earning on their own and they came anyway and I'm not saying that we should specifically give without doing a proper investigation without demanding some level of transparency of course we should particularly when it comes to communal funds for which we have an awesome responsibility but if it turns out and if we find out that the person that we gave to really didn't fully need or or we then saw them eating out locally in a restaurant and how are they using that money and now we start to be filled with regret and resentment and anger we shouldn't stop says the author of calm avram avinu these are angels and yet he has no regret you know why it's about molding and shaping and fashioning our heart and the way and the way that we give it's a willingness to be most significant a willingness to be able to make sacrifices and compromise and give of ourselves because life is not about ourselves it's about caring and supporting others so the author of council says that's why the Torah specifically elaborates in avram avinu's unusual or unique precedent has said when it comes to Angels not human beings to teach us that even when the recipient doesn't seem worthy it's not a waste of resources time or energy it's not a bad use of our effort because it's all about growing and becoming better ourselves he has another beautiful beautiful idea he says when it comes to avram with the angels we find an enormous you ready for this we all know that when it comes to I have resources I have money I have food I have things I have the opportunity to share it with others share it with others share our gashmias with others that we know we also know that in the world is a famous shuva and he says that just like we have an obligation to give mice just like we have to give 10 of our income to others who don't have because it's not our money we are the junior partner he is the senior partner with whatever we earn or whatever we have we were incapable of really achieving it without him he's the senior partner he's 99.9999 and our effort and our initiative and our Ingenuity and on our entrepreneurship we're 0.0001 and Hashem says you know what despite that tell you what you keep 90 just do me a favor ten percent don't even give it to me I've got other kids who need do me a favor I Really Deserve 99 I'm the senior partner says God you keep 90 even though it never would have happened it never would have succeeded you would never have it you keep did they figure out the Powerball yet by the way the drawing I don't have a ticket they did okay but my Uber driver last night in Alabama promised me that if he won he was going to give some to arm he's not Jewish but he promised he was gonna he was blown away by our our kids that we took to Auburn so he wanted to give some of the money here anyway so whatever we earn sorry for that distraction whatever we earn 1.9 billion whatever we earn God is the senior partner 99.99 and he said you keep 90 10 don't even give it to me give to other children of mine who need and your emotion writes the same way that we have an obligation to give 10 of our income to those less fortunate similarly 10 of our spiritual investment of time our spiritual income and ability we have to give to others so if you have the opportunity to learn with someone less knowledgeable you have the opportunity to host to do Outreach to be able to inspire others then at least 10 percent of your time you have to give in that context cesarez there that's obvious that we know share your gosh means with others and share your rookness with others last week I was in Israel my family family I was sitting at a cafe and a man came over to me he looked like a breast of a custard but I don't want to assume and he sheepishly said you know I'm in that store and I'm trying to buy my first pair of trailers and I can afford the baguette that sits this but the trellis is just so expensive I can't afford it what do you say I'm not flexing I'm not showing off any of you would have done the same trying to give you an example it's an interesting story because I happen to have my own dilemma or guilt why I don't wear tailus it's a good question Mario rabbit of Schecter does many other godoli Israel the belski words but I figured this was my opportunity I don't wear them but if I can buy them for someone else wonderful so here was a Jew sincere when he first came over he wanted money cash you know the way I want to go back to my my cappuccino my latte my French fries he says no I don't want money I just need help buying who wouldn't jump at that opportunity who wouldn't jump at that opportunity to help another Jew to a Mitzvah which might be the Fulfillment of the Mitsubishi limous who wouldn't jump so bigashmi is to know that we have to help others physically we know to give of ourselves spiritually to help others we know with whom was he speaking when these angels and the guys of men showed up who was having a conversation with with the ribonac Shalom with the almighty with Hashem and he interrupts and he aborts the conversation with Hashem he terminates the conversation with Hashem to go wash the feet to go give some water for them to wash their feet and to make lunch and to serve these three men he has no idea who they are he sacrificed his spirituality to give materially to others we know we should sacrifice spiritually to give spiritually and we know we should sacrifice materially to give to others materially but that he gave up spiritually to give to others materially get out of the base measures because there's somebody who's hungry stop your tehilum or your learning or your extra davening because the Jews on the west coast it's Hashem nothing should come our way now the Jews on the west coast were slammed by Hurricane Ian and we need to pack provisions and we need to drive it there what do you mean I go to a sheer but what do you mean well I miss minion what do you mean I go to the tehelum group I I should pack the provisions I should collect the the wipes and the canned tuna and the bottled water and drive up to Napa excuse me excuse me for a moment I gotta go and I'll be back and what is he going to do he says excuse me I gotta go somebody wants a harusa somebody wants in in uh now he doesn't interrupt this conversation with Hashem to pursue he interrupts his rochnius to pursue helping someone else with their gashmias says that's what though is trying to communicate here in terms of our priorities and our hierarchy of course rooknis is critical in kitamatara can I get coulomb but there's a Jew and here avram avina this is not a fellow Jew this is not an ivory these are strangers and avram avinu interrupts his own ambition and pursuit of rohnias to provide for and help the gashmias of another that is the incredible hey takes cream and milk and a careful she had prepared it's before them and he stood them over them beneath the tree and they ate he stood over beneath the tree and they ate when was this when was this everybody knows from Rashi when was this what what time of the year oh we all know but it's not so clear this wonderful safer I've been telling you about uttar plus Satora fascinating really enjoyable grits I could give a five hour share every week just sharing his his sources they're fascinating so he says the foul on the one in the measurement also says and wait here under the tree why why under the tree where were they eating inside of when do you eat outside your home under the material that comes from a tree what holiday was it it was sukkas the magician Patrick's NASA says it wasn't pesach it was and they were eating in the sukkah and if you look actually none of us say it but if you look in the pit for sukkas for the second day of sukkas it says it says a reference to this madrish that in fact these angels Alvar mavina was feeding them where in the sukha why because it was not going to keep sukkas which begs the question whether a pesos which we're not going to get into now and we've spoken about previously what do you mean it happened they were in it enslaved in Egypt and they hadn't yet been liberated circus hadn't yet happened they didn't yet wandered through a desert where they needed to sit in sukkas and they hadn't yet been protected so what in the world are you talking about that was celebrated holidays that commemorated events that hadn't yet happened is a critical core thing to understand about the Jewish notion of time and the Jewish observance of Yemen tovim but we don't have time for now but that is the key to understand the key to understand another time so one measure says he was feeding them Asuka because it was sukkas not to the Piet of sukka says when they came to deliver the new sasura you are going to become pregnant you're going to conceive and have a child La Mo Aid by a next yantif you're going to be very pregnant and giving birth and what was the next yard if according to one opinion that Roshana was pesach this was by the next yantif you're already going to need a crib by the next yantif you're going to need a nanny by the next yantif you're going to have trouble making pesach and also taking care of a newborn came on the third day after his Bismillah and they came the two days before circus and so they came to Circus Time on the other hand our Parsha and you look at the first time in our parish and we're all familiar what they made matzah not kramat because it was pesach so which is it was it pesach what time of the year did these angels visit there's again a lot more to elaborate and say here but he quotes you want to be blown away by avram's hospitality he didn't get a call from the shul that we have guests and visitors are checking out the community can they sleep at you Friday night they'll come Friday afternoon 14 minutes before Shabbos they'll leave mozai Shabbos 30 seconds after Abdullah could you put them up for Friday night that's not the call he got when avra mavina welcomed history malachem they unpacked and moved in for how long six months from sukis to pesach and that's why we have midrashim that reference both which is it were they there on circus or whether they're on pesach the answer is yes both that's Hospitality that's like Nobel prize-winning that's why avram's the goat he's the greatest of all time six months that's a long time for family to move in let alone strangers sometimes strangers are easily easier than a family but that's a long time for to host that's a long time until six months is you can see this as well from the recante is a tradition that when angels are in this world for seven days seven consecutive days they can't ever return back upstairs so that supports the idea that the three came together and they had three separate missions Stone avra mavino talsaro hernuz and they were here for seven days they couldn't go back up therefore they moved in for six months it is a fascinating fascinating of which he has even more even more to say even more to say by the way they come to tell Sarah she is pregnant these angels I have a question I've been trying to read the Parsha more critically when I'm doing Shrine mikra I have a lot of questions but during the pressure I'd like to also give answers so I don't want to share the questions I don't have answers for but I'll tell them maybe you have the answer sorry Emmanuel she doesn't make the bread why can't she have contact with the bread Pierce Rashi says all of a sudden her psycho returns she menstruates she gives her the status of Anita she's Tamaya she's impure she doesn't want to contaminate the bread because in those days they were observing the laws of of Purity moments later the Angels tell her you're going to conceive another child and she reacts incredulously she laughs cynically me I don't have a womb I haven't had my period I don't have an orac connection what are you talking about how is it even possible I don't understand didn't a minute ago Pierce Anita it's true that for many years or maybe for all time she had not menstruated and experienced the possibility of conception but now she did so much so she was tamea when it came to the bread so why does she act so surprised clearly something's going on something Supernatural is happening something's shifting why does she act so surprising so cynically when she finds out it's one question I'll ask you another question the message is critical of avram when it comes to Preparing and giving to the angels does he do it himself much of it he does himself some of it he sends who is because he said he did it all your day you smiled to go get the water similarly God took care of us not directly but through an agent through schlier for that is a criticism I'm mean to it directly yourself you should have and I think we discussed last year two years ago in the past this year what kind of criticism was trying to involve the family his children his children so isn't that a positive Feinstein says the best way to be your child is not to have him do something instead of you but it's to show them how to do it yourself so you're done with the big meal you're done with the guest in your home and you're full and you're kicking back in your recliner and now they're walking out so you say hey shy come walk the guest out you have to be Malave I guess you give them the whole all the makoros the halacha you have to walk a guest out you sit in your recliner your belt is undone you're sitting back and you call your child walk them out says your Moshe that's not how you mechanic he said to your child watch me walk them out see I'm walking them out because that's what we do you got to do it yourself and you've got to do it directly but here's my question because Barkley took the Sun out of its sheath out of its wallet out of its nautique put the sun high in the sky to break down why why did he do that beginning of our passion because Afra Naveen was recovering from surgery he was in pain Hashem wanted to protect him she wanted him to sit still go lie in bed go sit on the couch go focus on your recovery now is not the time to have guests so he put the conditions in such a way there would be no guests he was trying to protect avram so on the one hand he's recognizing and protecting avram in his recovery from surgery on the other he's criticizing avram that avram didn't do everything himself anyway just read the Parsha critically and these questions jump at you these questions jump out at you last week's passion king of stone offers out from The Spoils of the war which legally he's entitled to and avram says no I don't want my wealth to come from you Hashem promised me that I'll become wealthy I don't want it to come through you to which I wondered maybe that's how Hashem wants you to become wealthy maybe you were supposed to buy a lottery ticket Hashem you promised me wealth what happened to the 1.9 billion hey fool did you buy a ticket maybe the spoils which he was entitled to it wasn't gratuitous or a Matana the law of the time was the law of the land was To the victor go the spoils he was entitled to them so why does he turn them away maybe that was exactly how Hashem wanted him to become wealthy maybe this exact means to which he was meant to attain his wealth anyway just think critically in the way that we read the Pasha so if nachman says he feeds these angels He feeds these angels he runs to give them food did he know they were Angels did he think they were men so certainly at first he thought they were men that's why he troubled himself and bothered himself to get up and to run he didn't just move slowly he moved with alacrity and Zeal to go provide for them suddenly at first he thinks they're men But as time goes on suggests proposes that he clearly realized these were no ordinary men that Hashem had sent them sort of nachman Wonders knock on a breath of wonders if he comes to realize these are no ordinary men these are angels shouldn't he stop the meal stop turn the fires off turn the oven off stop all the food prep turns out they're here for some other reason we could communicate let's talk but they don't need the food why is he feeding them anyway listen to this beautiful Insider of nachman I love this insight videos he wanted them to understand something about our way of life down here on Earth they come from the world above they come from a place of perfection they come from a place that is free of Temptation and desire they come from a place in which automatically one does all that is right quoting from is relate to they can't identify with temptation and desire and appetite and drive they don't understand what that means like what do you mean you're still eating if you're full the Malachi would look with Wonder like what I don't understand which is a wonderful question on every one of us it merely makes no sense as intelligent as bright as accomplished as we are we are pathetic fools animals don't eat once they're full they understand the purpose of eating is to live you don't live to eat you eat to live and animals when they're done when they feel full when they have derived the nourishment they need they don't they stop and what do we do I'll take three more of those and four more of those and six more side dishes and where's the dessert we keep eating malachim don't understand because for us our eyes are bigger than our stomach oh that looks delicious that looks amazing our portions everything that we want they don't understand the malachab what it means to have an internet and images and icons that distract us from the draw us that understand the world of Temptation and drive they don't understand come down and they go up to God and they prosecute against us these lowly pathetic men we've discussed also The Madras how the angels from the very beginning of time prosecuted and told Hashem they're fallible they're failures they're flops their frauds don't create a world with humans in it don't you're going to regret it when we fail him he tells the angels I don't want to hear it don't tell me you were right I don't want to hear it was worth creating the world anyway he throws Emma's to the ground we've discussed that measures so from the very beginning of time can't identify at all with the way that we live they're busy Prosecuting against us so you know does he says come here angels says come I want you to I want you to experience an all-you-can-eat buffet come I'm taking you to a pesach program I want you to see a pesach program I was once at a paid stuff program many years ago and the chef came out of the kitchen oh sorry the major the host of the program at the end he said you know there's there's only a thousand people staying at this hotel but according to the chef there's 10 000 people each meal you know when they give you the option of which Maine many people say yes I just want a taste of that one and a taste of this one and a taste of that one and the next meal I'm not eating anything I'm so full there's no way I possibly can have a taste of this and three of those and four of those so however my Vina says to them who have no I sense of what it's like to live as pathetically as we do to have the struggles and the Temptation the drive and the desire and the appetite that we do you know whatever mavina says to them says come I want you to come to a pesach program I want you to sit in the circle over circus I want you to have three meals a day for eight days come on to understand a little bit to get a little bit of a taste pun intended of what our life is like what it's like to live like us foreign that we have physical needs and physical desires and physical drive and that it overwhelms and overcomes us and attempts us get a little taste have a little understanding have a Bissell rahmanas feel bad for us don't sit in Judgment of us don't prosecute us you have no idea if you were down here you have no idea how it would be for you so you know what go back and be proud and be happy that you don't live with this drive in this temptation but stop sitting in Judgment of us stop Prosecuting us because you have no idea how long you'd last if you had to come down here and endure the tests that we have that even though they ate and they stayed Angels they didn't become human beings but they too tasted imperfection they tasted failure and they weren't able to return immediately back upstairs they had work to do on themselves because they got a little sense of what it's like to be imperfect a little sense of what it's like to be human what it's like to be human and the core of this is eating is food you can find online and I keep giving you many references to myself but we once gave Usher I think last year or two years ago when the Jewish approach to eating and to food quoted many sources you make a table before me in full view of my adversaries who are my adversaries who are my enemies disorder right my appetite me the word bread the staple of eating is the same root as the word every time we eat we're waging a war with ourselves some are not for some there's no battle there's no war it's easy they have no they have to be reminded don't forget to eat I have a child like that we have to beg him we have to chase him we have to remind them we have to bribe him to eat it's a waste of his time he has no interest can't relate I don't know who I don't know where this kid came from don't understand it whatsoever whatsoever but most of us live every day with when's my next meal oh that looks so good we'll all have some of that I can't wait to go there can't wait to eat that again so hard Angels come get a taste why is this lesson this inside of not what I find so powerful so beautiful I I when I was in a tutorial I met with several godol Israel and I shared with them several dilemmas attentions or things that I'm struggling with or thinking about and without getting into the details of of one of those conversations one of them said to me about a particular issue he had in his community first of all the fact that he faces similar dilemmas was very validating and reassuring to me but he added dilemma he didn't know what to do and he went to a bigger God though he would say or a previous couple of the previous generation who told him don't sit in Judgment of that person and don't hold back from showing kindness to him or his family because if you are in his shoes you have no idea if you would have ever passed his test you have no idea his background his genetics his drive his desire his condition his conditioning you have no idea if you would have failed worse if you would have done better so your job is not to sit in judgment that's for Hashem your job is to step in and do all that you can to help and make things better it's a very powerful image and that's what ravnakman is saying was telling the Angels come over here come to the pesach program come to the all you can eat schmorg come I want you to taste a little bit of a typical Shabbos meal you have so many opinions about how much we eat you've never sat around one of our tables I want you to taste a little bit I want you to live a little bit with what it's like because when you go back I know that you're not going to make a buffet in heaven but I want you to have a little more pity a little less judgment a little more understanding of what we live with of that desire that Temptation that struggle that we have on a regular basis and and all the time okay so that was Ultra Plus and and there's another Insight he has here hi so we know that avram and Sarah kept the whole Torah even before it was given so if she was Anita how did she conceive what does it need to do need the need to do before they can be with their husband you have to go to the Mikvah did sorry man to go to the Mecca here again only outside Torah could dig up such sources ravmosha basula who was ravmosha basula he has in the footnotes these biographies he was born in Italy his father was he was an expert in Kabbalah as a whole biography of ramosha basula he went to go visit erits Israel in the year Reish pay aleph and inv and he writes about his journey and his his travels Terrace Israel in the safer muscles areas Israel and there he writes one time at night I came to Chevron um that's the distance I saw a great a large Mikvah in with four large pillars it was deep it had a magnificent ladder umenu it was the nikvah of Sarah imainu he says on his journey on his travels he came across the Mikvah of Sarah emmanu and he quotes more about this again these are one of these obscure sources that this wonderful safer digs up and answers a question we didn't even know we had which is if she was pierce had to go to the Mikvah first then runs to the tenth house Sarah says prepare all these things quickly quickly quickly alacrity taking care of the guests I'm not going to take the time now I thought I would and we'll discuss another time so most of the minute when do we sing it all before come home and you sing it all before the problem is that you have around your table people who are hungry if you're hosting guests who are hungry you are delaying feeding them food while you're doing what interacting with the angels welcoming your home and turning them around so is that appropriate is that proper those who are looking the second will appreciate this we came across the concept of baltah means when you make a promise or pledge you're not allowed to delay in fulfilling it when it comes to carbonos you have three regalem you have three holidays when it comes to fulfilling the midst of stalker if you made a promise or pledge to stalker when do you have to fulfill it immediately unless you negotiated a payout over time but if you otherwise simply said Stam you're going to give something to sucker you violate if you don't give it immediately you have to pay the pledge immediately when it comes to stucco when it comes to an uni in fact I saw a whole discussion you have to give a bar mitzvah boy a gift immediately if you promise the bar mitzvah boy a gift the bar mitzvah as soon as he stands 13 and he's no longer under the responsibility of a parenti how many assets does he have unless he's the beneficiary of a trust fund none he's a poor person so that bar mitzvah gift is really a gift to a poor person when it comes to soccer to an ani there's a Prohibition you have to give the gift immediately interesting whole truva about how how long do you have to give a bar mitzvah gift so come back to the coach says he writes this in the mission Brewer as well when you get home start to eat immediately if nobody's hungry you can wait but normally you have guests or even members of your family in that state they have the status of a poor person waiting to eat a poor person waiting to eat you cannot delay paying or providing what you're going to give them and therefore talks about therefore talks about only um only singing pretty wild now pretty wild and he has all discussion of ram limited so how do you defend those who sing beforehand why are you delaying why are you pushing it off Sam sober didn't sing at all for this reason it's quoted because you can't sing a song to Angels while your guests are hungry and waiting to be eating I know he has a whole arikas his whole discussion of this but alas we don't have time because Robert turns to Abram and he says am I going to hide from album what I'm about to do I'm from is now my trusted loyal servant arm is faithful to me and my vision for this world more than anyone who came before him they were all big failures King has held the jealousy and the door hamab was taiva and the door haflaga is covered Kenneth these three generations they don't get the purpose of this world they destroy the world avram is the first one who gets it Adam that's the first one who lives for others not for himself I'm not the first one who lives trying to promote God's vision for the world so Hashem says this aphram is so special it's so precious to me avram am I going to conceal from avram what I'm about to do can't be yeah sure not possible I have to tell avram what I'm about to do says the altar of kelm how did avram know sashem then continues and he tells avram the avraham again the totally reminds us the problem loves him there's a whole discussion he brings another this is the source of leaving an ethical will to Children what's afram's greatest Legacy billions of monotheists the majority of the globe today believing in one God is that his greatest Legacy no you know what his biggest Legacy is his children walked in his footsteps with the big difference we make in this world with all of our ambition and drive to change the planet with the with all that we want to do to leave a legacy our greatest and our most core responsibility is as beso as our children it can't be at the expense of or neglecting our children because coach Barco says what do I love about avram you know what I love about him not on Netflix not that he introduces monotheism to the world you know what I love about him he puts time into his kids his family that's what I love about him his family he's a family man he's a good father that's what I love about him uh he's explicit with an ethical will and he quotes here many sources this is the idea and many of our greats I think there was a book that's a collection of the tavas of the ethical Wills of many godol Israel who don't just say you know you get the life to her you get the menorah you get the property divide the money equally you don't just leave a will a financial will but you leave an ethical will here's what we value here's what we care about here's how I want you to live here's what I want you to do many people in their estate planning actually combine the two because they create conditions within the estate planning that you're only eligible and you only qualify to inherit this if that have to be Jewish or you have to be married to a Jew or you have to I know one person who wanted his grandchildren to go on March of the living whatever the whatever you think will be critically important for you that your children afterwards will follow in your footsteps you can either leave a parallel ethical will or you could intertwine the two by creating conditions of the will on your on your ethical will what you anticipate what you want what you promise what you believe what you hope and what you dream foreign it's more than just the property and the assets that you leave and that you divide but an ethical what do you what matters what's important what you care about one member of our community did something brilliant he deeply deeply is committed to his family always getting together he is a large family many children and grandchildren and great grandchildren so he set up a trust who the sole purpose of the trust of the money is to pay once a year for the family to get together so nobody can claim I love my cousins my siblings my nephews and nieces but alas it's expensive we can't do it nobody could benefit from that trust other than the sole exclusive use of getting together once a year he was essentially using the money to leave at Sava we value we care about it's important to us that our family is United as whole and spends time together so I'm putting aside this money that you can't use for anything else other than reunion getting together once a year and he left one of his daughters-in-law in charge not any of his sons because he knows she specializes in creating these reunions guilting people holding them accountable making sure they show up so he left several daughters-in-law in charge of that trust to make sure they get together don't just do estate planning with your assets do planning with your values how will you communicate and transmit your values so that they are lived okay so back to says so that the altar of calm wonders of them react afterwards Hashem look Stone bad people gotta wipe him out just felt I had to let you know it's just an FYI for you because of how close I feel to you what does avram do he says whoa whoa whoa not so fast God are you kidding the whole city five towns are gonna wipe out five cities I made a promise this year I wouldn't make a joke about five times gonna wipe out five cities no way not on my watch how could you what if there are righteous people ask the altar of kelm how did avram know it was okay to protest how did Adam know it was okay to object he's objecting and protesting to the ribonacon to the almighty to the omnipotent infinite to the most powerful he might as well wipe you out too while he's outed while he's at it he's going to wipe out five cities he's going to wipe you out if you try to stand in his way how did avram know foreign you know I haven't concluded yet license why it was okay because he asked himself why is Hashem telling me this why am I becoming aware of this why am I learning about this why does Hashem feel it's important for me to know why do you give me this FYI because he was giving me an invitation to protest and to object because my role and my purpose right now is to stand up and say no doesn't seem right I'll accept whatever you say in the end but I don't think it's right and this is something that we see says the author of kelm that we're supposed to feel a sensitivity when we learn when we become aware when we're told explicitly or implicitly that someone is struggling we don't just say well that's the will of Hashem that person is meant to be diagnosed with that that person was meant to suffer with that we don't just turn away or passively say well I guess that's the will of Hashem let me go back to what I'm doing we say you know why I became aware of that because I meant to protest and object I learned about it because I'm told to Daven for it that's our invitation that's our invitation and again this is not for now this speaks to a bigger question why do we ever doubt him if Hashem is determined that in that person's best interest is to suffer in that way why do we say why are we diving for people to get married to have children to draw parnassa if that was what was right for them Hashem would make it happen to them the fact that it's not happening to them maybe means it's not right for them why are we trying to twist hashem's arm why are we trying to object or protest who are we to tell them what to do and this is the core text I'm from avina creates the precedent and the license for each of us and the altar of kelm is telling us it's in fact even more than that not only is it okay every time that we have sadly had to have a tellum gathering in order to Advocate on behalf of of somebody who's going through a terrible terrible time I always say because doesn't want us to passively accept we are here as a community as at Seaboard to say Hashem this is not okay it's not okay with us we object we protest we beg we plead we're asking you to reconsider where do we get the right to do that who are we to do it what is the answer the answer is that we know about it we're exposed to what we learn about someone's problems why because that's Our obligation that's our responsibility that's our invitation but what do we do afterwards so it occurred to me this is my own Insight the circum continue and what is after Abram has this whole negotiation 50 45 40 30 2010 there's got to be if there's ten righteous Hashem please and what does he do right after the conversation what does he say describes that avram realizes where's the possock um I often realizes he's offer the affair where is that possum why is that right here thank you foreign behold I was desired to speak to Hashem but I'm just off from afer all I am is I'm a nothing in other words object and protest and talk to Hashem and right after you confront Hashem and Advocate and step up so one of the three Vegas in the Torah you know my favorite roquea why do we take three steps forward to start our amida because three times Vegas she steps up to fight for stone and Elio navidation we take three steps forward we begin our amida we follow in their footsteps three steps forward and we say Hashem I'm here to protest to object steps up and right after he does so what does he do oh he recoils and he says even though I objected and protested I'm not telling you what to do that was my job but in the end of the day I accept whatever you determine your God I work for you you don't work for me and I'd like to humbly suggest to you we do the same when every single day we do the same thing every single day why what do we do we say the amida and what is the amida we talked to Hashem first person you you you you here's what we want you to do you do this you do this you do this this is the way we see the world is what we're asking you to do this is what we protest and object about you you do this do that what do we do right afterwards we fall down on our arm we're following exactly the precedent of avrah mavino except when I was inertia last week I dab in that gear every day if you're down in the gear based measures huge room in multiple everywhere they never said one day so I asked it he said look around this room you don't think there's a Brisk every day here so they don't say whatever suppress every day but the text of the toe of The Sinner you you say Monastery take three steps forward with our chest out and our head high and brazenly and boldly and we protest and we object and we say Hashem I'm here to Advocate and to fight for to protest and right afterwards like avra mavino but I also know my place I'm a nothing I'm a known I'm Dustin I'm Ash we fall right on our arm and we say immediately afterwards page 88 wakes up in the morning and he goes to the place that he stood there what do we learn from there avram is going back to the place what place that he had passed through before says the person what do you learn from this the fact that avram went back to the same place he was means he has a makom today I'll move my seat every day which meaning do I want to go to which school do I want to diving at he has a Markham kavua this is my place my set Place says Whoever has a set place to Daven Whoever has then you are imitating you're emulating you're following the footsteps of avram and the god of avram will come help you like he helped avram when a person dies if they had a monkey you know what they'll say about you at your husband you know what they'll say about you at your lavaya you went back to the place that he stood he went back to that place God will help you like he helped avram and when we die they will stole our virtues at our funeral and say wow a student of you know how humble Hapa is how righteous they had a makam Kabul what's the big deal about the Malcolm cover what's the big deal about could cost you a lot of money I toured Bells last week in Earth's Israel 10 000 seats in the main base magician Bells I don't know if you heard that right ten thousand seats I was in the arena in Auburn last night eight thousand seats 10 000 seats how'd they afford to build this 100 million dollar building it's an unbelievable building bills that's the Shabbos basement during the week they're 11. there are four thousand people are dated they serve 12 000 cups of coffee there are seven men's mcvos each the size of half swimming pool 40 000 towels the stats are mind-boggling this building they sell the seats depends you and I owe you a middle you were in the front you're in the back where how far are you how close are you to the rebbe what can you see so Malcolm Kabul could be expensive when we do our expansion please God soon we hope to not need to raise money by selling seats because it's complicated when a person sells a seed owns a seat their name is on the seat what does that mean to own that Malcolm cover so is that what the gamara means wow we're gonna say wonderful things about you cost you big time you bought a front leg extra leg room Comfort Plus seat plush so that's going to cost you big time wow we're going to say wonderful things about you levia that's not what it means revolva says the following the great mashikiach says the following his approach was an approach of humility the whole essence of davening is all about I'm not in charge I'm not in control it's not about me Hashem I submit I surrender to you I'm a nothing you're everything davening is all an exercise in humility Dominic is nullifying our sense of of I our Nokia's and when you do that you become when you're an honor of when you're humble when you're humble and you realize I'm not in charge I'm not in control I submit I surrender to you Hashem then you become you become a Pious person so person is so means that a person continually returns to the same place and what is that place it's a place of humility returning to that place is not only a physical geographical description it means coming back to a place of humility when a person lives with humility which is the prerequisite that Fila authentic Earnest heartfeld davening has to be built and founded on a sense of I submit and I surrender to you you're in charge you're in control I am not I work for you you don't work for me and that's what makes a person Pious and we follow in the footsteps by making said differently a couple weeks ago we had a massive see him down here shechter of Amar came it's a beautiful beautiful event and there was a question and answer after and someone asked a question about to dominate a breakaway minion I did not ask that question somebody asked that question and if shechter answered the following he quoted this gemara and he said what does it mean if you have a makam kavua you're an anov so he quoted it slash says the following he says you know what it means and why does that have to do with humility so the Arrogant person dominant comes before God and feels I'm so worthy I'm so capable my davening is so compelling that Hashem is going to answer whatever I want but the humble person realized I'm so inadequate I'm so imperfect that who am I to ask him and why would he ever answer me so you know what my best bet is to compliment might feel us with those around me that might feel us not just be the one I'm offering today but I want to compound all the feelings I offered in the past with all the feelings I'm going to offer in the future and maybe if you combine all my feelings for all time maybe it'll be a worthy enough to feel that it's worth being answered so how do I do that I sit in the same seat and I go to the same minion and I collect all the feelings I've ever offered mine and all the other people around me in that minion that's what it means that you go into a shul that is caduceus-based knesses value Community you sit in a makam kavua and you collect and you go gather all those feelings that you've ever offered and the people around you have ever offered and so the shimono today is not just right it's the shimono esri of every schmonster that was ever offered in that seat from that seat in that Row in that minion in that shul in that sanctuary and that's what says that's what it means I saw another shot you know why it means you're a humble person if you have a monkey because if you're arrogant every minion every show you go to you get in a fight with someone Godby didn't give you an Alia they didn't give you enough Honor on your yard side they didn't give you the secret to give you master yonah they didn't give you enough covered so you end up going to another Minion then you end up going to another school and you're constantly running away to different young different schools because it's all about you and you're covered in the makalokas and the fight you get into a person who could sit in the same seat in the same menu the same shul a makum kabua over and over and over again how humble you must be that you're there to Daven it's not about you it's about him if you have if you have staying power if you could be in a makom kavua then like avra mavino you're a humble person it's about that that is what it is about tests tells us look why is avram feel so compelled to go save load he's fighting for load HE advocates for load and he literally Saves The War of the four and the five Kings last week's Parsha and now this is why it's because of avram that load is living in stone is a personal responsibility for lo you know why because if not for him they'd still be living in haran answered the call from Hashem to head for Canaan load came with him and only because loat followed him on that Journey did lot end up in stone Sauvignon feels a personal responsibility for him says the great of the mirror says you know what you understand from this ramban how and to what degree a person must take responsibility for their actions person has to realize the consequences of their actions the responsibility of our actions the choices we make the choices we make have consequences for ourselves and people around us and we can't be flippant or casual and say well that's the way Hashem wanted it to be that's just the way it is that's just the way it happened if a load ended up in stone and I can trace that result to my being the cause because we left haran then I've got to take responsibility if you listen to last weekend behind the bema I interviewed your Berkowitz roshishiva Isha Torah it's an incredible conversation with such for me over an hour interview conversation with him he's the biggest post-sec may be of the Anglo community in your salami nights Israel today extraordinary extraordinary person we had a conversation about this I asked about him today and he said the problem is not the problem is even before you get to him are we teaching young men are we teaching binay Yeshiva how to take akhras what it means to be responsible what it means to be accountable what it means to take what it means that's what this ramban is getting at that avram avinu if loads in stone you don't just say well look was distracted lot was tempted lot ended up in the wrong neighborhood that's his fault that's his problem Adina says well lot would be living in if not for me so if he ended up in stone I've got to step up it's the name of the game it's what it means to be a Jew extreme ownership it to take a Christ over our lives to take responsibility we're about halfway through what I wanted to share with you today is wind it's a source of bar mitzvah but yeah makes a big party on the day that he wins Yitzhak he makes a big party how do we Define a big party how do we Define a big party this is another rugby rock on tour review how do we Define a big party was there only chicken or was there a meat option how big was the symphony was the orchestra a guy on a keyboard or 20-piece Orchestra was there one famous singer two or three famous singers how many people did you have how many people were invited two video Crews or one video crew the flowers our definition of a simcha the karashi what does it mean he made a big party spot was on all the Instagram what was his name is how different the language of the Torah is different than our language when we think of we think about the orchestra the menu the attendance the venue the flowers the photography the matura things of Michigan though you know what it thinks about who was there where the godola Israel whether it's with the righteous people that's what it means to be a Michigan my friend Greenspan got married this week he and I were in Ashima together been blind since he was 20 he went blind and he got married this week to an extraordinary woman and there were pictures and videos I wasn't at the wedding circulating since he went blind at 20 and La Vie can't learn or read on his own obviously blind so he asks others with him to read with him so many stories I could tell you now is not the time including he asks them to learn with him in his farm and to underline certain parts because he's such faith and Hashem that I'll see once again he wants to go to this Farm to see what was underlined Because he believes that he would he'll see again that's his trust that's in faith and Hashem and one of the things that he did when he went blind he got the phone number of gidola Israel and he calls them all the time for advartora for a bracha so at his wedding the pictures and the videos of what came out from sitting next to review commotion of makiel Cutler vacfolk all the Israel of America were all at this wedding we're all so happy we're also joyous we're all so incredibly happy that's a mistake adult when you look at the videos and the pictures of that incredible simcha from this week nobody's looking at the flowers who was the singer or the bar looked like How well was it stocked what was the menu is there just chicken or did they also have meat nobody's looking you know what a mistake gadol is when we have the Merit to welcome to invite and to make it easy all to come you know you have people who will spend up the Wazoo to impress on the physical part but to say you know what I want this girl to come so I'm going to pay for a car for so I'm gonna make it easy for them that oh no they don't have any money for that that's not important that nobody will see or be impressed by so you see the language the vernacular the Torah is very different who has another hour anyone want to sit for another hour so much more okay good news is we're going to repurchase later next week as well if you've not yet take out your phone and go on Rabbi FM goldberg.org WhatsApp and join the partial perspective WhatsApp group you know maybe one of these extra things I didn't get to I'll just throw in his bonus material maybe you never know but if you want to keep up with the schedule of this year get the partial right up get some bonus material join the WhatsApp group until next time first of all vote today also by the way selection day everyone has a responsibility go vote until next time stay happy stay healthy and stay holy