Parsha Perspectives for Today (Vayeira, 5781) - Teaching By Example

good morning and boker tov welcome back to partial perspectives for today wonderful to have everybody want to thank our generous sponsors dear friends becky navi cats and family who sponsored our partial series and loving memory of becky's father david grossman nishmas david ben menachem also special thank you today to dr herbert marilyn moskowitz who are sponsoring in memory of eliza ali abbas masuda beloved sister of ali buzaglo whose nashamah should have an aliyah as well this week we have the privilege of studying together parshas vaira page in the arts girl stone and i hope everybody will follow along inside hold on just need to take care of one piece of technology over here love hashem who speaks to avram appears to avram we're all familiar with the opening of this parsha and the reminder and the message of the significance of upon the circumcision upon the uh elective surgery essentially that he gave himself which was really extraordinary at an advanced state get into last week why that was at such an advanced stage we all know the story avram is sitting outside in the heat of the day and he's baking in the sun because for avraham avinu such a magnanimous benevolent kind good person the pain of not being hospitable was more unbearable that pain was more acute than it would be to uh to be healing inside the pain of the surgery itself and so hashem creates these arab nomads these wanderers who come avram feeds them and we all know the story i'm going to begin today we've been spending this year i've been sharing with you beautiful insights of israeli mayor ravi sram mayor druk a great uh russia shiva in new shalom and uh from the safer h thomas i want to share with you this morning some opening pieces in that safer which i found really really inspiring again our goal is partial perspective but for today to extract from the parsha lessons and messages that inform and inspire our temporary times the parsha is not archaic it's not arcane it's not outdated it didn't expire but its messages and its stories and its inspiration serve us each and every day rashi says to visit the sikh omar bihari it was the third day after his breath and hashem came in order to inquire into his well-being in order to ask how he is the rambam and he'll close over listen to this interesting aloha the rambam in the 14th chapter of where he deals with the laws of beaker hollam the rambam says when you go visit the sikh lord don't sit on the bed and don't sit on a chair below again or on a bench don't position yourself or sit in a place which is elevated which is high veloli not above the head of the sick of the individual person ella miss atef cloak yourself the yoshi of them and sit below where the head is and this is a key component the goal of our shear is not to review the laws of beaker hollow but that is worth reviewing another time um you have to daven for the sick person if you didn't have them for the sick person you've not been yote pika holland you could come and deliver a delicious pastrami on rye with russian dressing and french fries and i recommend that if they're recovering from a cardiac issue in the hospital you could come and deliver the most delicious the most outstanding meal you could come and take care of them in every which way but if you did not pause on that visit to say hashem have compassion give a full speedy and painless recovery if you're not if you don't dive in in the context of sitting the sick you are not you'd say you are not you would say picocholum a very very important component of bikrhola but listen to the rambam the ram here ends and he says for the sick person and then and then it's time to leave. is giving the formula the rambam is giving a prescription what is the proper behavior when you are visiting and uplifting the sick don't sit in the high place elevated yoshi of the mata sit below because the shrine is found at the head of the sick person and dave and take advantage that the shrine of the almighty is there an appeal for the well-being of that person and the youth oyote and then leave an answer of druk where in the world did the rambam get that last word of the halacha where did he derive it that's first of all why does the rambam have to say it when you visit the sikh do you bring luggage with you did you ever have intention to move in are you coming to stay permanently visit someone sick in their home let alone in a hospital or a rehab center you're not there forever you're not there permanently so why does the rama feel compelled to conclude don't forget to leave don't forget that there's going to come a time that it's time to leave but it's also a mitzvah to leave this sick person because we all know whether it's we all know whether it comes to the hospitality offered with him or when it comes to the mitzvah of when we comfort the mourner or when it comes to the mitzvah of when we're visiting the sick that not only is that a mitzvah it's a mitzva to know when to leave when you stay too long when you overstay your welcome when you now place the burden on the mourner or on the sick person to have to entertain you to cause them a discomfort that they're ready for you to leave and you stay then you have undone the very mitzvah for why you're there to begin with so the rambam says not only is there a mitzvah to come but there's also a mitzvah leave but one does rav druk where did the ramen get that from where did rama derive that from because you're not trying to put a burden see all of these mitzvahs the goal is the recipient of the mitzvah the goal is that the guest has hospitality the goal is the sick person as a visitor the goal is that the mourner is comforted it's not to help ourselves we don't go when it's convenient for us we don't stay as long because it's corona we're distance we have no company we have no socializing so at least on the shiver call i'm going to move in for the whole day because at least i can connect with another no the goal is not for us the goal is for the recipient of recorded the rambam added an extra word the word viotse the notion that when it's time to leave you need to leave the rambam added the rambam threw in on his own that does not appear in the gemara where did he get that from cesar of druk you know where he got it from why are we learning about this in a parasha class give you one guess is because this is the source the central source of beaker holland on page 78 he says to them if i find favor in your eyes please pass not away from your servant come you take someone and wash your feet and rest under the tree so we'll give you some food so avraham avinu turns to these he thinks these guests and he says to them new take a load off wash your feet take off your shoes have something to eat have a drink rest lean on the tree and then how does the end he says and then go on your way then you'll go on your way is that hospitable come and then by the way when i'm done feeding you don't forget to leave it bothered why does avraham tell the guest how hospitable is that welcome to my home for shabba's dinner for shabba's lunch it's so nice to have you we're gonna have a beautiful meal just don't forget when we're done to leave don't forget when i'm ready for you to exit it's time to go when i take a nap at the table or i go lie down on the couch or when i sing shiramalus that's your hint it's time to go why does avraham where's the hospitality and telling his guests i'm going to feed you lean on the tree relax take your shoes off and aha and don't forget afterwards that it's time that it's time to go so also is bothered by this this is the source for the rambam avraham avinu is recuperating avraham avinu is recovering from his surgery this is the most significant day the third day is the most painful day so avram is telling them don't forget you're doing beaker holland i'm doing i'm so glad to have the opportunity to hosh you and you're doing because you are visiting me don't forget don't forget to leave me his answer is imran vs yates so therefore avraham avinu is grateful to have them he's eager to welcome them however they need to know not only when it's time to come when it's time to go it's a very important halacha in paying a shiva call a very important halacha when doing beaker holland it's a very important aloha when you're a guest in someone's home to know not only the mitzvah of showing up but to know the mitzvah of when it's time to leave don't say you're welcome don't come when it's inconvenient for the person but it's convenient for you they are the recipient they should be the focus of this mitzvah it's not in order to make us feel better okay next i want to continue with another piece in rook this is a fantastic piece a fantastic piece rojo is dealing with the continuation of this hashem appears to abram sitting at the entrance of the tent and avraham by the way interrupts this conversation from which khazala rabbi is deduced it is greater by the way not shock will it's not equal it's greater why didn't they just say it's equal that's a discussion which i can get into now they said it's greater to welcome guests than it is to continue a conversation with hashem and we mention this each and every year if you're listening to more than one pastor this year i already know i've said this before that we say it each and every year why does hashem why is he satisfied the god almighty has called you and you get a call on call waiting remember call waiting and you say to hashem could could i see there's another call coming in i just i wanted to see who it is do you mind if i just take this other call either we bonus them you're the almighty you're the most powerful creator on the line and you're going to put them on hold while you take the call waiting while you take the call on the other line how in the world that avraham concludes why does that make sense how could it be how could it be greater and i say every year the following metaphor imagine you the father you the mother call your child and they should show covet you're the mother you're the father you brought them life you gave them life you brought them in this world you've raised them and if you want to talk then they should honor you by continuing that conversation and you wouldn't tolerate if they say do you mind if my friend is calling or do you mind if i just take this other call but if they say it's my sibling calling and they need me do you mind if i take a call from your other child from my sibling who needs my help what parent doesn't rush to say absolutely hang up with me and go talk to your brother go talk to your sister go help them out go step in is there a greater narcas from a parent than when the child is emulating and imitating which is the greatest form of flattery almighty given the choice would rather us be like him than talk to him which is why if you're in the middle of shema there are appropriate times when you interrupt in order to entertain a conversation sometimes in order to even initiate a conversation because hashem says when you have the opportunity without either speaking about me or being like me i'd rather you be like me go step in for your other children that's what's going on over here raises his eyes and there are these three men that are standing over and by some he sees and he runs from the opening of the tent he says the sun is usually inside a pouch the sun is usually inside of a casing in order to mitigate the heat so it doesn't absolutely obliterate humanity hashem took the sun out of the pouch in other words it was a bokeh summer day unbearably hot so that leficia rome was in such pain that there was no one to host there were no guests coming hashem orchestrated events so he would have asks for and it's safer ish tommy it's not translated i've been asked as far as i know it's not yet translated into english yes previously i think last year two years ago we studied again this is the central source for so much of learning we learn from here the story of how avraham offered hospitality to his guests but truck is asking a very fundamental a very simple and somewhat obvious question avraham looks out and there's no one who needs hospitality why is he in pain if you look outside and you see the homeless and you see the indigent and the poor if you look out and you see the widow and the orphan if you look out you see the people who are suffering and struggling and you say what was me i wish i could take care of them all i'm in such pain because i want to help them all and yet i'm not in this position to do so i understand why you have pain as a result but when avraham looks out and he sees there's nobody who needs nobody's hungry nobody's homeless why is he in pain shouldn't the pain from the inability to offer hospitality come from the fact that there are those who need hospitality if no one needs hospitality why are you in pain that you're not offering it let's dire imagine you say you know you call the rabbi you say i want to go do some beaker hollam who from the shula's sick i want to go visit him say you know what you caught me on a good day a good week hashem thank god nobody from the show was sick would you say oh i can't believe it i'm so bummed i'm so depressed i really wanted to visit the sick i can't believe nobody's sick what do you mean you visit the sick because you're helping the sick if there's no one sick be relieved joyous and happy there's no one who needs a visit apham should be happy if he's eager to offer hospitality be grateful everyone is so well positioned that no one needs hospitality the whole idea of hospitality is when somebody's on the way they need help if it's so hot out that everyone is home so yes asking this fundamental question i don't know if it ever occurred to you but the passion begins with the description of how bummed out i think that's the rashi uses the word bumped out how bummed out avraham is that he has no one to host the question is why so listen to what he answers the gemara says in the merit of the butter and the milk that was given to the guest the jewish people merited to have access to the mon the heavenly bread that descended and in the merit of standing over them of caring for their needs we merited that the cloud would be over protecting us in the merit of new quench your thirst have some water zach el miriam we merited the well of miriam hurry up zach was famous for his hospitality he was always offering water he was always offering food he was always offering a comfortable pillow so shouldn't his descendants as progeny have merited these great things the mun the heavenly bread the protective cloud and the well in the merit of a lifetime of hospitality what is it about this particular hospitality what is special or unique about this hospitality to these guests that earned his descendants these great blessings moreover the question is compounded when you think about the fact that these were not even guests who needed help these are angels they're going through a facade they deserve an oscar for their acting as if they were eating as if they were washing their feet as if they needed anything these were angels they needed nothing so not only is this not a greater act of hospitality for which he should be rewarded it is in some ways a lesser act because he's taking care of angels who don't even need his help it's a great question so two questions one deserved drug number one why is avraham payne from not being able to be hospitable nobody needed hosting shouldn't be paid by that should be overjoyed by that number two why is he getting a reward for this hospitality in general in particular rather when he offered such great hospitality in general particularly when you consider that the particular hospitality was the people who didn't need to be hosted who were angels to begin these are the questions of rooftop listen to his answer it makes one illusion in a simple phrase that i have from planted a tree and ghazal darshan the russian tables it's an acronym a shall stands for achilles eating drinking and escorting why not elaborate and spell out the great acts of khazr of avram good so he says the following there are two types of hesed there are two drivers of why we do hesed of why we extend ourselves to help someone else it could be that we give charity could be we offer hospitality it could be we lift the spirits it could be we visit the sick it could be we comfort the mourner we could be driven and motivated inspired to do any of those things for one of two reasons we could drink we could i have to drink hot coffee it's freezing cold in boca i think it's like 73 or 74 today everybody's bringing out the fleece and the sweater sherman's november so one of two reasons number one empathy you see somebody who's struggling you see somebody who's suffering and that's uncomfortable for you it's uncomfortable for me to be in the vicinity of you when you're suffering i empathize with your feeling i have sympathy for you i have rachel i have rahmanis for you and so i step up and i do something in order to make you feel better which makes me feel better because i have empathy for what you're going through um but there's another type of and the other type of question is where it's not an empathy for you and for your suffering but it's part of my very nature and it's part of my very character i am a giving person it's not just that i am a person doing hased in other words you could say you know what i'd really rather not be called upon by the gossip committee i'd really not have to extend enough i really not have to i'd really rather not have to do anything for anyone else if i see someone suffering or struggling i will step up because i'm a decent person and i don't want anyone around me to be uncomfortable or suffering so if asked or if i see i will step up that's the person who says i really prefer not but if i have to i will but there's a second type of person who's driven to do not because they empathize with the person who's suffering or struggling but who says i have a chassid personality person who says it wasn't on you so i did it for you i can't stand to see somebody who's traveling who's hungry who's tired who has no place to rest el haya lo ratzon amity legitim avram what drove him was a benevolence was an altruism was a kindness alvin was overflowing with this need to give to do good and therefore even an incredibly hot day and oppressively out day and nobody else needed food everybody was staying home avram said is not given by a rahman is for you my hustle is driven by trying to realize my own character by trying to imitate and emulate the old me by trying to by being a hessian personality it's who i am it's what i want to give you so today that's why hashem created the world god the capitalists explained now is not the time but why did hashem create the world if we were not created none of us would have been here to miss it we wouldn't have noticed that we weren't created so why does the almighty omnipotent infinite being create a world that wouldn't have missed not being created what motivated god why did god create the world now answer that you'll give that includes the word that hashem needed is obviously erroneous it's wrong why because god is omnipotent and infinite and perfect he has no needs so if you're going to say that god created the world because ain't mella melee there's no king without a people he needed a people so he could be the king then you're describing god as having a need he has no needs he's perfect that can't be the answer kabbalists explain why did god create the world the answer is it was the greatest act of altruism it was a pure good and kindness to give of himself to others we can't even identify why because every act of good that we do has some kickback let's say you do some great you give lots of charity or you do kindness and you don't tell anyone else you'll say what kickback do i have they didn't honor me at the dinner rabbi didn't speak about me from the pulpit nobody knows i even did it you've got the good feeling of knowing that you did something good that nobody else knows that in itself as a kickback is a return that you get every good that we do as finite human beings as mere mortals has a return on it everything that we do only the almighty only god is able to do something purely altruistic purely good and the pure good he did was creating a world we spend our lives trying to imitate that we come as close as we can to it and therefore we try to be as altruistic and benevolent as we can and that's what the passage means the world exists shabbat he created a world for us to emulate and imitate him he created a world for us to try to be benevolent like him he created a world not just for us to have rahmanis when we see someone suffering he created a world for us to try to realize the goodness and the kindness in us so therefore if a person says that being good and kind and being generous and hospitable is not just a way of relieving suffering of another it's not just about my empathy for another but it's part of realizing who i meant to be and who i meant to become that it means that if i have no way to express that and to realize that if there is no recipient of it i'm frustrated i'm frustrated if i'm trying to work on myself and i'm trying to cultivate within myself my selflessness and my giving and my altruism and my benevolence and they say hospital shut down no visits no one's guess no no everyone has money everyone has what they needs nerdstaka i'm not relieved by that i'm disappointed and frustrated by it because my act of giving was never about rahmanis and relieving the suffering of the other alone my act of giving was also about my personal growth and realizing who i could be and what i meant to become of becoming as close to god as i can hashem the almighty is benevolent altruistic kind and i am trying to train myself condition myself to be that way as well and all this answers our questions all this explains this kindness of avraham avinu that we know that that avraham our forefather is bothered he's pained he's not that there's no travelers who need hassan he's pained his custody wasn't just about empathy was about conditioning himself this is the one he gets the greatest reward for even though they're mere angels why because they didn't even really need it and it wasn't about them it was about his giving when we do it it's not only the recipient they're doing us the favor they're giving us the opportunity to become better to improve to give good and that's what we're grateful for and we are the progeny we are the children we are the offspring of avram we are to be like avraham and to emulate and to walk in his ways to not just do it from a position of empathy but to do good and give good tradition of wanting to be the best that we that we can rav goes on and he has other other torah that that explain this discussion that if you make the khasana kala happy you're giving to them he has other torah but we will run out of time moving right along still on page 78 new york's girls slogan abram says take a little water wash your feet lean on the tree and wonders of druk we're opening with three river drugs over a drug three rook drugs to open if you love her of drug you're going to love this parasite class if you don't don't worry we're getting to other ideas too so ravdruk is bothered by the following again avram is the paradigm of chr included don't forget to leave for coming don't forget to leave that gave us one insight into now he says no take a little water let me take a little water have as much water as you want if you are the paradigm the paragon of gases then what is he limiting them have as many peach diet pitch and apples as you want eat as much potato cocoa as you want take as many slices of khala whatever thickness you want enjoy what is avraham limiting them you have just taken why he should have brought mayan basheva should have been overflowing bleak wool with no boundary no end need he was so hospitable so kind he didn't care about it for himself he wanted to share with others so why does he say beyonce and even more troubling says quote he gave everything else in abundance the passage says avraham avraham ran to the cattle the livestock and he took some veal he took some soft lean i wouldn't have been very happy if i was one of these guests i don't eat tongue my policy is i don't taste anything that tastes me back so i don't eat tongue i don't enjoy tongue seeing those taste buds pop up on the tongue this premiere not for me however the gemara says that avraham gave what was the greatest delicacy at the time you know what the greatest delicacy was tongue tongue dipped in there's a staying power to some recipes what is tong delicious in a honey mustard a mustard sauce gimmel shona says the gemara bachata avram served the angels three tongues in mustard um so how do you give three angels three tongues unless he had some nuclear you know animal that were raised in chernobyl each of these cows should have had one tongue so what does it mean about avram's generosity if he gave each one a tongue dipped in mustard what did avraham do he slaughtered three of his livestock that's very expensive i don't know how much livestock goes for my friend rabbi steven weil could tell you but it's expensive for three men they could have enjoyed one cow with plenty of meat left over he shacked the three animals so he could give each one its own tongue so what do you see that avraham provided in abundance whatever you want however much you want enjoy escazant and yet when it comes to the water yuukachna take a little bit of water what's going on scissors based on the gemara bubble mate when it came to the tongues when it came to slaughtering the animals avraham ran on his own rat avraham alabama he ran on his own when it came to however the water he did it through the wrath at that moment avraham summoned his servants his family and he said no come get them some water so when you're willing to do the mitzvah you can provide and schlep and carry in abundance but when you are recruiting others to do it with you it's not fair for you to suggest that they should schlep in abundance when it's on their shoulders when it comes to the things he did himself personally indirectly he wasn't stingy he didn't hold back but when he needed to do it with an agent because he asked his family to get involved it was not fair nikola madney says we learned a very important lesson from here don't be a sadiq on someone else's bone don't be a sadiq on someone else's bone be it sadiq on your own husband you want to schlep you want a volunteer you want to offer go to the ends of the earth but when you're assigning your children your family somebody else to do something don't be a sadik on somebody else's bone there's a famous story of israel solanter who was a guest at the home of somebody very wealthy and when it was his turn to go wash his hands for hamutsi the great revision salat the founder of the muslim movement washed his hands with the bare minimum of water he used very very little water not in abundance he used the minimum amount of water to logically be considered he washed his hands so says the veer says the host a wealthy host knew why use this a little water use a lot more water in abundance cervical cilantro said to him but your maid your housekeeper your butler is the one schlepping the water in order to prepare it for us to wash so it's true there's a lot of water but you know the effort to get the water here i'm not going to fulfill a chumra astringency and washing my hands on the back literally of the schlepper who has to bring the water so salato famously said resourcelanter one of uh one of his disciples once said to him buying mata what's the chomura i should look for in buying matzah what's the hamrah so there's all kinds of homuras you know in how long how many minutes or how well they clean it in between or machine mats and matzah the bubbles and the matzah so a lot of there's a lot of stringencies in matzah you know salons are entered you know that you should follow is make sure the women who work in the mata factory are paid on time that's the homura you should follow when it comes to matzah that was rabiesville solanter the father and founder of the muslim movement that was his emphasis on how we treat people and how we care about people and there are countless stories of solanter saying be strict and be stringent be vigilant in following jewish law but only when you're the one impacted by it don't do it on the backs of others and so therefore when he washed his hands he said yes there's a lot of water to wash my hands but the schlepper the butler the housekeeper the maid your child is the one who's got to fill the water and bring more water so i'm using the bare minimum it's not fair to me to use abundance on their back and that's what's going on with avraham avinu when it came to avram going to slaughter the animals to bring three tongues this dipped in mustard he ran and he brought in abundance but when it came to what he asked his family to do and his servants to do then only bring a little when a man puts it now it's socially distant so it's safe everyone's eyes are protected you don't need goggles because you're at least six feet from the next person but before we were so socially distanced from the next person you could lose your eye when the guy next to you was putting his toes on if he did it with such vigor and enthusiasm that he put his towels on and flipped it over his shoulder and whipped it can knock your eye out knock your eye out don't be so zara's don't have such enthusiasm putting on your talos at the expense of the eyeball of the person standing next to you yukach that is the message that is the lesson because it sees a piece of bread and it calls the friends to come eat it why is it called the rashes the answer is the hasidah gives of what it has to the other it's called but the akhbar calls the friends to cannibalize from one another that's called the russia so is when we extend ourselves but not but not the opposite okay very good number number two ready refer of drup number four is the laster of druk i'll take that back we've got a lot more of a joke but too bad he's got amazing stuff from this week's powershot rodrick continues so we just said that he took it through and that's why he minimized the amount oh now rashi here rasha here on rashi tells us he took it to ashley and because avraham didn't bring it directly and he did it only through a shlee after an agent he recruited someone else to do it hashem later asked hashem later took care of us but only through an intermediary only through an agent why since avraham used an agent to take care of his guests hashem only took care of us through an agent azoys liked rashid rashi gets that from the from the gemara so wonders are a druk and this is a great question what did alvin do wrong isn't that the right isn't that the way we educate our children to involve them to recruit them to take them with us no kindle come we're going to the hospital kindle walk the guest to the door kendall bring the air conditioning guy or bring the fedex guy or bring the amex the amazon delivery person who works exclusively for you practically bring him a drink a cold drink get him something isn't that the more correct thing hashem here seems to hold avraham accountable that he didn't jump up and bring himself that he sat back and told others you go bring isn't that the way that you educate isn't that the way that you inspire what did he do wrong that later hashem says when i do for you i also only do it through an intermediary what did he do wrong says nira lavar you know what the answer is when you want to educate someone you could teach somebody through commanding through dictating what to do or you could teach to the personal example so god is telling abram avram you are trying to teach you know what the best method of teaching is not with your words but with your actions get up and do it yourself that is the best way to teach and that's what we understand that we're going to continue with this in a moment hashem says i'm going to destroy stone skip ahead for a moment bottom of the next page page 80. what happens we have the next mother who comes and tells them you're having a child beautiful what's the next story hashem says oh it's time to destroy stone hashem amar hashem says to him to say it to himself can i keep from out from what i'm about to do this is a world that has utterly failed me this is a paganist idolatrous world of selfish people i've got one person who gets it his name is aphram i'm so devoted avraham is so devoted to me i'm devoted to him can i really keep this from what i'm about to do i've got to tell him i've got to tell him i've got to tell him the secret i've got to tell him what i'm about to do with stone the avraham so the faucet says avraham was a great nation he was blessed all the people the nations of the world as hashem had promised him the last weeks parasha and now why god gives us the reason i so love avraham how can i possibly keep this from him i have to tell him what i'm about to do and why do i love avraham why do i feel so compelled why am i unable to keep bed back from him you know why i love him you know i love him what would you have said how do you expect that plastic to end i would think god would say you know why i love him because he is preaching about me everyone else is worshiping these idols these made up things he talks about me why do i love him everybody else is selfish and his tent is open on four sides he's selfless why do i love him he's promoting my brand he's promoting my name he's fulfilling the mission he's advancing the cause that's not what he says at all what does hashem say you know why i love him you know why i'm incapable of holding this back from him because i know the man is based on he commands his children and his household after him and what does he command his children and household the shamrod hashem to protect and observe the path of hashem to do charity and justice i love that's why i love him wandas are of druk the skull hashem says i love avraham because he teaches his children so effectively because he communicates and transmits the values so well so authentically one deserved jerk where do we see avraham doing that hashem here proclaims the reason that i can't hold back is the mag where does it say it where does it say that i'm from taught the family where does it say he sat them down and educated them where does it say it says you know what the answer is when avram did it that was his teaching avram never used his words he taught and he transmitted with his actions personal example is the most powerful teaching more than words is personal example when you see the father do it the cave in shahana so if you saw abram you stood that he stood for charity and justice that was who he was it was what he exuded it was how he spoke it's what drove every decision he made and that was his teaching it to the next generation he didn't need to say it he didn't need to communicate it he didn't need to write it on a whiteboard why not because he lived it and when he lived it that is the most effective way of communicating it it's the most effective way of teaching it rodrick doesn't say this but many explain at pirkei elvis often in piccadillos we reference with age and we say who hayao omir hello shamai whomever hayaa omer he used to say so the simple understanding is who hayao omer means he used to say goldberg's got to retort that he loves it or his favorite he likes to say the same torah torah all the time on parasha's vaira he always says that thing about god he used to always say used to say my rebbe used to say the ravage my show used to say that's the simple understanding others explain you know what huhaya omar means who he in the way he lived his life in his lifestyle and his choices and his personal conduct who hayao mayor the way he lived his life hayaa omar that used to say it wasn't that he taught this with words it wasn't in russians and it wasn't in articles who in his mahus in his personal example and the life he led hayao mayor and what a powerful powerful message for us from rav druk that if we want our children to embrace our values if we want our children to walk in our way we want our children to imitate our our lives it's not going to be by communicating it's not going to be with words or with words alone but the more powerful the more profound the more penetrating the more lasting will be by personal example so the torah never tells us that avraham actually communicated but he did communicate how did he communicate he communicated with his very behavior and with his actions and then of drukalooza we're not going to run out of time but schwab and his mayan basa eva has a beautiful vote on the story of manawak and of shimshon about you see its personal example you have to be a nazir if you want your son to be a nazir you have to live that way if you want the ones around you to live that way you have to show personal example now this word lamanya dative let's come back to that puzzle we're going to take a break from druk we'll come back if we have time if god says i can't hold back i can't contain myself i have to tell avraham what i'm about to do and why is he so driven because translate the words you can't because you're all muted i'll translate for you ki dativ i would think the root of the word yeah is knowledge i know that avraham commands his children after him but that's not what rashi says look at rashi ki adativ it's a language of affection it says rashi ki dativ means i cherish him it's a language of affection so revolver the great masjid wonders why if you want to communicate affection do you use the word yidativ say love and affection intimacy connection closeness why are you talking about ki dativ the word means i know him so say i am i i have affection for him why are you using the word knowledge so listen to this insight of revolbe says revolbe the terminology is used to describe affection because when you love someone you bother to get to know them if you don't bother to get to know somebody if you don't care enough about them to know them who are they what makes them tick what are their fears what are their dreams what are their aspirations if it's all about you then you don't really love them then you don't really love them to love someone is to want to get to know someone so therefore that's what rashi means somebody if you love them then you get to know them you care enough about getting to know them you know set somebody up recently and uh the girl wasn't interested in going on a second date and my wife asked why not and the girl said you know looked good on paper and things made sense and why not and she said frankly the whole day he didn't ask me one question about me he just talked about him i asked him about him and he was very happy to tell me about him and not once did he say tell me about you where did you grow up where did you go to school what's your job what are your dreams what are your aspirations who are you voting for in the election even probably not a good question to ask on a date but he didn't ask one question about me so he's not going to make a good husband one doesn't make a good spouse one doesn't make a good parent and one doesn't make a good friend if you're so consumed by telling the other about you that you never make the space or find the time to ask about them because the khiba is gaining das the affection you show someone else is caring enough to get to know them revolver quotes who once traveled by train from his hometown of mir to warsaw in those days uh jews would congregate in a designated car they would travel together without fear they have a social circling circle and rav that by the time he reached the destination the upper mount he was proud he had come to know every passenger in that car and he said you know most people they get on the airplane most people they sit on the train put your headphones in you look down don't make eye contact not interested in making friends don't want to meet anyone don't tell me your name don't tell me about your grandchildren don't show me pictures of your recent vacation i'm not on we just happen to be on the same vehicle going to the same destination i want nothing more than that but said you know particularly among family among the jewish people but really among humanity among anybody or basic do you care enough about others to say what's your name where are you going tell me about it and so on and so forth to say good morning it's an avisabrios it's an amazing it's a heba to care enough to ask and to get to know another that is a magnificent insight i love that insight of revolt that on this pasha by salvation also weighs in says the following avraham introduced the covenantal community the covenant the bris was signed and sealed by god and it imposed an obligation not only on man but on god as well involving each side of the covenant was it unconditional or don't have to meet certain conditions and obligations and the answer is clear certain definite conditions were introduced as we find here avram had to transmit all of his teachings to future generations if alvin leaves no will there is no obligation by god to uphold the covenant every member of the covenantal community must leave two wills listen carefully listen very carefully it's a very important insight of the rav it's a parashat perspective for today every member of the covenantal community if you're a froome haimasha every jew every human being but certainly if you're a member of the covenant community needs to live two wills two wills i'm going to give you a message here about estate planning i'm not going to tell you you know how to organize your orchestrate your estate planning but i'll tell you said the rev you need two wills a material will in which you dispose of your personal wealth and belongings and a spiritual will in which you pass on the mandate to adhere to the dara hashem god declares that avraham entrusts the spiritual treasure to his children and is therefore worthy of the covenant according to the ramen the word mitzvah means not merely a commandment the word mitzvah is synonymous with the word a will if the spiritual will had not been carried out the commandment the covenant would have terminated so god's covenant was conditional hashem says i'll be in this bris i'll be in this covenant with you but here's the deal only on condition that you leave it for your children and that you charge your children with it don't just leave your children a portfolio stocks and mutual funds and bonds don't just leave your children real estate don't just leave your children cars and clothing and closets that have to be cleaned out your children need to find not only a wheel which will tell them how to divide the material things your children need to discover that you've left them it's a spiritual will an ethical will which tells them who you are and what you stood for and what you believe in and what your dreams and aspirations are for them now it doesn't leave them in a box the spiritual way you leave them doesn't say you have to wear this kind of yamaka if you don't wear this keeper you don't get the real estate you don't get the stocks and the bonds the suggestion that you have to leave an ethical will it's does not mean that you have to put them in a box and look exactly like you there's a diversity to claw yourself but it does mean that you say to them here's my expectations i want you to marry you i want you to be a proud jew i want you to be an observant torah jew i want you to set aside time for total learning i want you to dive in i want you to care about other people while you care about the whole jewish community i want you to embrace the miracle of the modern state of israel whatever your values are whatever your emphasis however you lived your life don't just leave your children a will for material things leave them an ethical will and that's what the rub is quoting the rambam that the word sava that we use for will comes from the same word as the rude mitzvah to be mitzvah a will because the is not just a commandment if a spiritual will has not been carried out the covenant is terminated alvin was the first teacher not to a few but tens of thousands as the rambam writes the community organized around avram consisted of students the main aspect of the community was the teacher-people relationship rather than the biological father-son relationship absolutely's responsibility was to see to it that there was someone to pass on the tablet to create a community of teachers and students of misora this is the notion of transmission of misora of continuity we involve and care ourselves not just about the here and now and today but we have to be committed to a sense of continuity and that is that that is the ethical will and charge that we leave the next generation remember jj shafter whenever we have he said it at countless minute conferences that he has held he turns to the rabbis and he says you know god doesn't tell avraham you know why i love you and you know why i can't hold back from telling you what's going to happen not because you have tens of thousands of followers it's all about your children don't be a rov or a rabbit said don't be in don't build a career don't be a community volunteer and lay leader at the expense of your children because when push came to shove you know why god loved avraham not because of the tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of converts that avraham was involved in inspiring but ultimately what was the reason because ashitaba is based what matters most is banav and desal that's our most critical legacy that's who we are and that's what we stand for okay included in the statement god says and what is it that you're going to teach them to do the shamroo dara hashem what are the words vishnu der hashem so you waited long enough it's time for an imrich of vishnuts so you know what was avraham successful at transmitting so we sort of drook how did he transmit it was it what was his methodology not with his words with his personal example we saw that for hashem that was the most important that it wasn't just for the here and now there was a continuity that mitzvah don't just leave a material well an ethical will but what was it that he commanded his children what is it he inspired them to continue to do what he ch what he inspired them and what they continued was the shamroot hashem what does that mean they're observing the hashem says the vision of the immach we're going to read later and say for braces that when yosef is missing and he doesn't return back it says about his father yaakov that his father waited with eagerness and anticipation the word shamar doesn't just mean to protect and safeguard shamar means to anticipate to long to look forward to to be a shomer shabbos is not just to keep shabbos and shabbos but to be ashamed is the entire week long to look forward to anticipate too long to have an appetite a thirst to want to fulfill the word rashbush hashem the shamroot doesn't only mean to guard it when you're presented with it but means to thirst for it to look forward to it to count down to it and what is it that they were looking forward to what were they counting towards what were they protecting it you have to observe torah and you have to give charity says there are people who make mistake in both directions there are some who say i sit and i learn torah i don't have to volunteer and i don't have to give stakka and i don't have to do all that stuff because i sit and i learn full-time says it's a terrible mistake and then you have the opposite extreme you have the people who say i'm a good person i'm a kind person i'm a charitable person ah the minutia the details observing the laws learning the torah that's not for me but i'm a good person i'm a charitable person what hashem is telling abram is you know what i believe in you you know i love you you know i can't hold back from you because you're teaching your children to do both that you need both you need you need to be committed to learning torah you need to be committed to living torah you need to be committed to the principle you need to be committed to the practice you need to do both and the combination of both that's what you've successfully taught and that's why i love your and that's why i love your children now we all know that the rambam oh what time it is okay we got halfway through the things i wanted to share with you i never so much more so the rambam will end with this the rambam at the end of joko's deus the end of the first paragraph deus the random says the following famous thing maimonides golden mean the rambam talks about the golden mean everybody's heard of the shmilhazzahav the rambam is golden mean where is the rambam right that you had to the first chapter of and he says the following kate says how should a person habituate how should that person condition themselves when it comes to these qualities he doesn't talk about a golden mean he calls it the middle of the road the middle of the road the kotzkoreba famously said the middle of the road is for horses but that's the kotzker the ram disagrees with the cutscore cutscene said the middle of the road is for horses kotzker was extreme passion fire middle of the roads for horses but the ram says how should you live your life when it comes to every quality when it comes to character don't be extreme antsayos middle of the road the sh where did the ramen get this from how do you know maybe we should be extreme maybe we should be extremely passionate and devoted maybe there are qualities which we should practice in the extreme had the rambam know that we should live our lives and condition ourselves to have all of our qualities our personality be moderate be measured be what if schefter calls normal be normal and sayos anyone who's too extreme too fanatical to be a kidzone extreme personality it's not what hashem wants have the rambam know that from where the ramen derives at the ramam says because this is what's called derek is hashem the derek bainon is being moderate being measured being normal walking the golden mean that is the very definition of dara hashem the he shall immediate and this is what avraham taught his children if you teach your children the golden mean to be antholios to be benonios to go in the middle to be measured and moderate to be normal if you teach your children it brings together don't be extreme don't be fanatical just be normal it brings tova of the manhattan so the rambam here is describing that the derek hashem that the passage hashem says avraham i can't hold back from you i have to tell you what i'm about to do and why do i have to tell you why can't i hold back from you because i've cared enough about you to get to know you i love you and why do i love you because you're teaching your children through personal example how to find the combination of torah and the spot of stakka and because vishal dara you are teaching them their hashem and what is their hashem you're teaching them to be normal a yiddish kite and a froomkite that's normal it's not extreme in either or any direction hashem loved avram and hashem wants us to live and to teach you know i i for a long time i i fear that there is a a majority of orthodox who don't use any other title and that modern or open or extreme or right wing or fanat they're just they're just they're just showing me total mitzvos and and i think we need a new movement of normal torah juice they're not modern orthodox jews they're not they're not ultra orthodox jews they're not open orthodox jews we'll call it normal orthodox jews normal rambam jews we have to protect normalcy we have to stand up to fanaticism and extremism to be moderate and to be easy going and to be normal and to go in this in this way so the rambam is describing the mode of conduct you have to maintain is moderation don't grow angry easily don't respond with being passive don't be too frugal don't be overly generous that you become poor yourself rambam says this is the legacy of be normal be moderate be moderate so that's a simple understanding of has an additional layer of understanding he says moderation is not the solution to every problem nor is it the appropriate response to every situation the golden mean must govern a person's general approach to life rather than dictate his conduct under all circumstances the realm of bids us to use sound judgment and reason when deciding how to act rather maintain a consistent pattern of behavior at one extreme at times a person has to act forcefully while others call for mild some situations require want to deal exactly and inflexibly although you have to be adaptable and willing to forego the ramen's derivation of this principle from our pasak appears to support the understanding hashem describes averma's training his children what is the hashem it's the synthesis between kindness and justice now kindness and justice seem incompatible kindness is not just justice lacks kindness so that's what the rav would say when the rahman tells us to go in the middle he doesn't mean never act in the extreme but he means be balanced in when you act in the extreme which is a different way of understanding it but i come back to the first way be normal be measured be moderate it's a normal judaism a normal total way of life that is a legacy of avraham avinu and that is what hashem wants from us as well like i said we had a lot more to share and talk about a lot more beautiful ideas we'll have to save them for next year tonight 7 30 p.m people of the book online those who've learned pressure with me we've learned many together who was he where did he live what is the theme of the nature of his writing on the torah his commentary tonight 7 30 p.m on our youtube channel join live people of the book a new series that we are launching tonight or continuing an old series but relaunching and i'm beginning it with people of the book if you're watching on youtube please subscribe to our channel everyone stay happy stay healthy and stay holy