Parsha Perspectives for Today (Vayechi, 5783) - No Pockets on Tachrichin

good morning bokotova welcome back to Pasha perspectives for today always a privilege and a pleasure to study the Parsha together sorry we can't offer coffee this morning hope everyone is having a meaningful and productive fast started trying to correct the sale of Yosef some have positive that's what Authority Davis corresponds with aside for the reasons given in the gemara but it's a day of introspection self-reflection it's a day of repair relationships it's a day of improving ourselves and no better way to do that than studying the parish I want to thank our Parsha series sponsors Becky and hobby cats and family loving memory of David Grossman Leila nishma's David Ben we're so grateful to them for their generosity and their sponsorship sponsorship page 268 in the art scroll Stone hummus and with this I don't know about you it feels like it was just simple we just started braces I don't know how we're finishing the first book of Hamish the first book of the Torah already where the time goes what we're having fun yako lived in Egypt for 17 years these are the days of yaakov the years of his life for 147 years he understands and he appreciates that he's at the end of the days and therefore he gathers his family around there's a lot of literature on the notion the importance of gathering our family and leaving not only a will not only trying to avoid paying taxes not only trying to ensure a smooth transfer of our assets but more importantly an ethical will what we call it Sava and that's exactly what yakovina does when he perceives that he's at the end of his life he gathers his family not to talk about who gets which ring which necklace which mezuzah who gets which item this Shas who gets the talus not to talk about who gets which item which is not a bad idea also if you'd like your family to get along even after you're gone but it says it's an ethical will he's trying to communicate his core values what's important what drove his life and the potential that he sees in each of them the first thing the first message he has for his son Joseph is he says if I find favor in your eyes please promise swear to me whatever you do don't leave me don't just tell me you have to follow through do for me do something that's both kind and just and righteous and true and what is that thing do not bury me where in mitraim don't bury me in mitraim wonders the greater of Europe and the great of the mirror Rashi says place your hand the only place that they miss but there was no secret Torah there was no hummus to put your hand on and affirm what was the only environmental the only Mitzvah that you could swear or a firm on was the brzmila sounds peculiar bizarre to us but it was very holy and Noble says Rashi swear to me yaakov is making his son Yosef swear but foreign 22 years of separation yoseek didn't lose an iota of who he was he still Joseph anio safe I'm not softness the Egyptians know me by an Egyptian name but that's not who I am in my core I've never deviated I'm still that you're safe I'm still the Yosef in the basement of our father and yet yaakov really have a thought that Yosef the great Yosef is not going to follow through on the request on the last dying wish of his father he says not good enough not good enough that I asked you for a favor and you said yes I need you to swear I need you to promise I'm gonna need two notaries we're gonna need we're going to need somebody representing the court a couple notaries we're going to need some witnesses this is like excuse me what me that's me I know we were separated remember I sent the agallos I still remember the Sugo we were holding in and Yosef I'm still Yosef you don't trust me you don't believe me I have to swear I have to affirm says we see a similar idea when avram sends elieza to look for a up for Yitzhak is Khan promise me you will not set up yet with one of the girls from Canaan promise me now I understand some of the today after you pay the retainer and after you sign the DocuSign and have to okay so now promise me after the retainer and the DocuSign that you're not going to set up with someone from this community promise me but Eliezer elieza's Abrams trusted to he's in charge of his whole house he's in charge of everything so he doesn't trust him makes him swear foreign enough to be able to rely on his word what's with the swearingham is he says the following Tori tells us in several places you're not allowed to eat blood one of the laws of Castro so you cannot consume blood that's why with salt meat that's why you have to roast the liver you're not allowed to consume blood nevertheless Torah says safer dwarm strengthen yourself be strong whatever you do don't eat blood sifri comes along and quotes I don't know why they told us to tell me so many times don't eat blood I have no interest in eating blood it's disgusting it's repulsive why would I want to eat blood that the Torah has to say strength strengthen yourself don't eat Cape Cod potato chips strengthen yourself don't eat Trader Joe's corn chips strengthen yourself donate okay for some of you chocolate ice cream I don't have those Temptations but strengthen yourself be strong and hold back and don't eat that which is bad for you I understand I understand but damn blood I have no interest if blood that you have no temptation no desire no interest to eat the Torah nevertheless has to say be strong strengthen yourself don't give in Allah all the more so the things we have a drive and a Temptation for Rashi menu if something you have no desire for nevertheless you get a great reward when you abstain from all the more so when you overcome the drive the Temptation the desire the things you really want to do and nevertheless you don't do or the more so the reward waiting for you see the Torah goes out of its way and says don't rely on yourself blood I'm repulsed by I'm disgusted by yeah okay lovely but still you never know that steak it looks like it's so delicious you're gonna want that steak so badly it's going to be roasted in such a barbecued and black and blue it's a fast day already at 9 30 in the morning I'm talking so much about food black and blue you know that's the proper way to eat a steak you know black and blue is Char on the outside and nice and rare on the inside black and blue next time you go to a restaurant telling my Rabbi said I should ask for black and blue some grilled onions fried onion delicious so black so you're going to see a piece of steak it's black and blue it's grilled perfectly charred on the outside rare stillish nickel moving on the inside it's a little bit alive on the plate on the inside but it hasn't been salted no Malika was done you're going to be tempted too late if it's already roasted before it's roasted you're going to be tempted no Malika was done you can't trust yourself the it's a heart of the drive impulse is so strong we can't trust ourselves and you see from here that the great of us the greater person is they never trust themselves they never trust themselves and they never trust the people around them when something is so precious when something is so critical when something is so Central and definitional don't trust yourself and don't even trust the people around you and I don't mean to insult you no offense it has nothing to do with you I don't trust myself I don't trust you Torah says about several things an upper tropical Arias for example Taurus says you can't be alone in a room with someone of the opposite gender to whom you're not related and you couldn't marry you can't be alone why not Hashem you don't trust me Hashem looks here and he says that's exactly right I don't trust you because I invented and placed that drive in you and something so important so definitional the striving and ambition for kadusha for sanctity that's right I don't trust you ain't happy for the very moments we don't believe you should leave money sitting around with someone else there even your own family members or you don't trust them that's right you don't trust them some Drive some impulse is so strong we don't trust we don't trust and therefore yaakovina says to Joseph it's no offense there's nothing to do I don't trust myself I don't trust you I desperately don't want to be buried here I Want For Eternity to be buried at narrative so I will talk about in a moment and therefore swear to me it's not insulting to you it's nothing to do with you these are the most important things in the world avam you have my you're in charge of my whole estate you have all the passwords to all the accounts you have everything when it comes to a for my son the very future and continuity of my people of my mission of my charge don't be insulted it has nothing to do with being salted some things are so strong so powerful so poor that the person has to swear a person has to swear comes along the old Surplus our new favorite safer the Halo Godzilla plus of a rambam so here Jacob avino says swear to me swear to me what you won't leave me here in don't leave me here in don't leave me here outside the land of Israel promise swear to me that you're gonna bring me the Earth Israel promise you're going to in turn me forever I will be resting in Heritage is being buried in Israel is a source of kapara of course get to Israel while you're alive get to Israel while you have life get to Israel while you are among the living and you're navigating and you're conquering and you're Yeshiva Arts you are settling in the land all of us that should be a question not if but when Sarah metavis were mourning The Siege is that we're not there we need to be there not if but when better to go while you're alive but if you don't go while you're alive says be buried there and from whom do we learn this two great people who desperately begged and made their progeny swear they wouldn't they would not be and turned outside of Israel were Jacob avino and Joseph is an individual's parents were living outside of land is so they asked please bury Us in Israel even during their final days during the terminal illness they said please confirm you're going to bury Us in Israel Hashem is this individual was very poor had no idea how to fulfill This Promise found somebody you know you say can anyone take a small package okay it's unusual request a small package I have the bones of my parents would you mind you do you have room in your luggage room in your luggage I'm only taking a small cat do you have room in your luggage for the bones of my parents so the question of the rambam is a right to do send the bones with someone else bury them here send them to Israel mode short succinct the answer was what you did is very correct is Right righteous bury in Israel the martial writes is it's a big Merit it is a big source of atonement to be buried in the land of Israel better to go alive if you can't go and if you don't go alive at least go and be buried there and we find many Mario kazal he quotes here from several places in the majors precious rabba in several places Israel he says the opposite who died outside of Israel said bury them where they are don't slap them don't delay don't bury them in Israel in fact there are some who object and say we simplified and we made Universal our standards of burial plane Pine casket you could be the wealthiest Jew in the world you could be worth billions of dollars you could have the most ornate and ostentatious coffin but we say don't every Jew the hurricane burial shrouds have no pockets you know what they have no pockets a man gets buried in his Kittle you may have noticed the kittel has no pockets what is the kitten no pockets why did sakuriken have no pockets because you can't take it with you you can't take it with you you've never seen a hearse attached to a U-Haul ever you've never seen it you can't take it with you you can't take it with you there are no pockets so therefore so therefore the coffin standard plain Pine Box in fact Yosef is the only one in all of Tanakh who's mentioned is buried in an orange in a coffin we know the Milling on Earth throws to be buried without a coffin Joseph is the only one who is mentioned internach he's buried in the coffin so outside of Israel when the Dominic is the burial in the coffin plain Pine casket I mine could be gold lettering with the logo from my bar mitzvah in gold now plain Pine casket everyone's the same you could be worth billions of dollars I never understood you see this if you go and you go buy a Kittle I went to buy a new Kettle they have kids it's cold down the middle silver Tara I said what's going on over here I thought the whole kit was supposed to be simple ah so different different people have different different people have different men how come so but the kids was playing the takuriken everyone was the same nobody's got designer custom-made the takuriken I'll give you an example of designer I don't even know who it like I don't know who would impressive the designer chocolate nobody's got design attack they're all the same so now to create a standard where the expectation is that everybody gets buried in there to thrall you know what it costs to get a graveyards as well do you know what it cost the flight do you know what it cost to rent a car do you know what it cost everything to get there at this role so some are opposed to being buried near to Israel because we're gonna up we're gonna move the goal posts we're gonna make it the standard the expectation for people who can't afford they'll go into debt they'll put the kids in public school to bury the parents in there it's Israel and that's not right that's not right the same way cotton said we created a standard so that there'd be a universal observance of a coffin of Taco so how is it the Yakov and Yosef insisted they have to be buried inert Israel Israel says I will lay to rest with my forefathers Israel why were they allowed to leave the answer is they left and they took a piece about to throw with them when they settled in Goshen they created an embassy of their tostral in mitraim it was an embassy of artisan says they were living in an extension in an expanded Erich Israel the border of aristorical expanded into mitraim so it was as if living in so he said he was already entitled because he was already living in Earth ISRO he was allowed to be moved he was allowed to be transferred the safer who was the son of the shla was the son of the shla who took over for the Shalom he gave a different answer Yakima Vina Batman yaakov had a little bit of a pulse they hadn't yet declared him dead he was terminally ill and he was a ghost Ace he was just about dead when they took him to Canaan but in fact they didn't confirm death until he was in Canaan that's why he was allowed to be buried there those are the different reasons the shla and his son give for why he was allowed to be buried I personally if one can afford it I understand the concern not everybody can afford it we don't want to change the standard if you ask me and and again I don't want to make anyone you know concerned or have doubt or anxious if you already have Arrangements outside of Arizona but I went several years ago I went with the group to Cuba for a day and we toured Cuba for one day which was plenty of time I didn't need any longer in Cuba for that day one of the places we went was the Jewish cemetery and one of the people with us grandparents that survived the Nazis and fled and like others they made it to Cuba and there was a thriving Jewish community in Cuba before the Revolution there was Kailua yeshiva's and seminaries for girls and shuls and kosher restaurants a thriving thriving Jewish Community the cemetery reflects the affluence in how thriving that Community was the person who's with us his grandfather was buried in Cuba and he has a marble headstone magnificent his grandmother is not buried in Cuba because before the Revolution they fled they got out they got out this was his first time ever being at the grave of his grandfather first time ever there I thought to myself you know when they buried his grandfather undoubtedly it was a big husband and a big levia and the thriving Jewish Community buried in Cuba where they would be Jews forever and be able to visit the Bayside cavaros and now Cuba the Jewish Community the Jewish community in Cuba is mostly intermarried they're not even Jewish there are a few Jews left the majority of the Jewish community in Cuba today is not even technically a hologically Jewish where is the one place today as we're seeing the spike and Rise of anti-Semitism in America the one place that please God our children our grandchildren our great grandchildren our great grandchildren Amit Hashem will always go whether it's for sukkas whether it's to live whether it's for the year in Israel whether it's in the summer is there it's Israel if a person has the capacity if they don't they shouldn't feel guilty if they already have plans and they have a family plot outside of Israel by all means there's a strong masora to be buried there too I don't mean to make anybody feel concerned but if you don't yet have plans first of all BRS has a section in there it's as well we have a section here in Hollywood but if you don't yet have plans that could be part of the consideration he continues Martinez foreign how could you be buried in America so as if you're buried in ETC so here we have a Minogue we have a minute the major Staples quotes Israel every levia I officiate not inert Israel but here we have a minute we take offer from harazison we take Earth one of the first funerals I did as the rabbi this is where there are two types of retired rabbis there are retired rabbis who are like a thorn in the side of the rabbi they're retired rabbis who just want to catch the rabbi who want to mash in the rabbi who want to drive the rabbi crazy and they're retired rabbis like everybody was a very very special man and a dear friend and mentor to me and one of the first he was a beloved member here Friedman those members of BRS undoubtedly remember him so one of the first funerals I did I said at the end we were lowering the casket I said now the minute is that we place dirt from araze SIM on top of the casket we buy afterwards he pulled me aside he said rabbi it would sound a lot nicer if you refer to it as Earth not dirt he didn't tell somebody else and the rabbi said dirt they didn't he said so gently so kindly you know it sounds a lot nicer just think about something to consider sounds a lot nicer every funeral every single funeral since then I say will now Place Earth from haraz they said nobody wants to think that we're dumping dirt on their loved ones for replacing Earth from the holy Mount of Olives Earth so the meaning is we have members of the khabar kadishir we have an outstanding hyperkadisha outstanding Havoc Edition we're busy every night at the lotion of this week's passion and Ms with me can't imagine how many how many Towers they've done so you know that at the end of the tahara before we play before we close the lid of the coffin we take Earth from ourization and we place it as the measures tapio says we place it on the eyes we place it in the heart and we place it on the Mila for a male and then we close after already after the tahara after the after they dressed in the tahrikhan we lift we place we place shards but underneath the shards we place Earth from harazim on the eyes on the heart the makama Mila we do it again at the levia we lower the casket we sprinkle Earth on top of the casket from harassam from White Nars Israel because it creates a connection a bond between the person and the land of and the land of Israel interesting palaji as a practice he says they used to bury along and then I was nakshafts Israel I know today maybe it would be the airport the best way the fastest way was ship so if you buried along the seashore you were already on your way on your way today maybe it's next to the airport maybe it's next to the airport would be the closest okay so far we're at the first deposit okay why does Joseph have to be told his father is sick why is he told his father is sick he gets a call your father is sick what is he going to call his father sick he never visits his father he never goes the home that yes yaakov lived in the assisted living facility the nursing home his brothers wherever yaakov's living they have to call the concierge service has to call Yosef I think he should probably come visit your father he's not doing well oh he's not doing well he took a turn let me get my sons and go he didn't see him every day once a week he didn't check in ever why not why not so listen to what he says Torah the rush in the sacrament brings a hormone in the midst of from the maharami ruttenberg the marami Rutenberg was the last of the baliatosphos the marami Rutenberg quotes the rush quotes Mara May runberg felt the following conflict from the day that he ascended to greatness that he had a position of Distinction he never wanted to see his father because of the following conflict what would be does he honor his father or now with his Ascension to a prominent position should his father honor him um what happens if a son is a rebbe of the father does the sun still have to stand for the father if the son is now the rebbe of the father and the gemara leaves it as ITA the gemara doesn't draw a conclusion the gemara doesn't pass in Allah myself that's a Biblical law the man I remember didn't want to enter into a case of Doubt on a Biblical law should he stand for his father not stand for his father now that he's his father's ready do I stand for my father does my father stand for him you know what's easier send in my regards some Rottenberg why is that a dick I would think in order to avoid conundrum you're not going to see your father ever again I would think there's no bigger breach of the aim than that what could disappoint a parent more than never seeing in order to avoid you thought you know the Homer of the week it's the new Hammer of the week avoid your parent again some don't want to spend peace out with their parents and now you have a good out can't spend parents we can't spend pay stuck together I don't know if I should stand for you you should stand for me better we should be apart for pesach so that's the kingdom Valley why am I mentioning this here what is down here because the dance says that was yosef's calculation for when yaakov came down Yosef avoided yaakov as much as possible why she is he wasn't worried about do I stand for my father to my father stand for me though that taco was a good question too on the one hand it's his father on the other it's the Viceroy of Egypt got a show honor to a King he had the same Allah but he had another dilemma you know what his dilemma was they're enjoying a glass of wine they finish their learning the harusa for the day and they're enjoying some company a cup of coffee you think yaakov's never going to say to Yosef you know hey Joseph you never did tell me how'd you end up down here it's never gonna come up 22 years yaakov was inconsolable he refused to accept Joseph was dead he's alerted he's told oh Joseph he's still alive Wow Let's Go it comes down he didn't ask the brothers he's never going to ask Joseph you know you never did tell me what happened you know I got the code the special coat I spent a lot of money on that coat Yosef I got it back covered in blood what what happened Joseph was afraid if he would tell his father if his father would just read his face and know that it was the brothers his father might curse his brothers uh Kane meet lavacro and therefore he avoided seeing his father that's what the documentos was Yosef so showed a superhuman Allegiance and loyalty to his brothers Joseph you know what I do Dad let's hang out all the time I'm excited that I didn't volunteer what happened but but he asked what could I do I would never tell him I wouldn't initiate I wouldn't volunteer it but my father asked me okay but I have what could I do yo state with such loyalty and allegiance to his brothers after an absence of 22 years and desperate to make up for lost time still avoids his father in order to protect his brothers can understand why the end of our Pasha it's even more painful that after yaakov dies the brothers have to say don't kill don't kill you do you know what I've done I've killed myself over you and now you're worried I'm gonna kill you available so says the holy Jew put the safer together good friend of Mr Lipschitz Zuckerman says maybe the shot in the dancing in balatosos is like the marami ruttenberg maybe Joseph really had the suffix dorisa so I stand for my father does my father stand for me he writes in the footnotevski whether this shot could be correct Maybe Joseph was like marami Rutenberg the same answered a resounding I'm sure that was very heartening will I maybe maybe that's a shot maybe it's not the shot who knows who knows the rush disagrees with Israeli mufuck the rush seems to reject this I'm not suggesting we start applying it the rush seems to reject this approach of the marami Rutenberg don't worry about your suffix Hashem wants you to spend time with your father aim is both stand the whole time both sit down figure it out but he wants you to spend time with your father one of my I don't want to say favorite pasta because it's such a sad Posse but the wording the language of this past like I pointed out every year I'm sure Yosef is turning to Jaco Brothers turning to his son Benjamin and he says when I came from and she died on me could you believe it I had the car for so long it hit a hundred thousand miles and pumped when I left padanaram the car died on me I wanted to call you but my cell phone had died on me whoever heard about a human being you described as Mesa Allah she went and she died on me your mother she died on me I needed her how was I supposed to raise all these children and get out for Marv in time and your mother up and went and died on me such a funny wording no like a car like a phone your mother she went and died on me Rahel on our way to ephrasa on our way to frat back no choice a buried there on the path on the way what could I do that's where I buried her she went up and died on me says the mega deal save says of your saves the rotskin the mega you're safe Mesa alive who is yaakov saying this to Joseph he's trying to make Joseph understand it's not that I didn't love your mother that's why I left her here he's feeling Joseph in and he's telling Yosef what happened in his absence your mother died oh she's embarrassment with everybody else nope not quite she's on the roadside by herself don't worry I marked the area you can visit but she's not in this illustrious prominent in perpetuity a place the Jewish people will go because she up and went and died on Me on the way I had to leave the car you ever drive a 95 how many abandoned cars there are I always wonder like what happened and whoever left that car did think they're not coming back for it so you that's what yaakov tells Joseph she went up and died on me on the side of the road I had no choice that's where I buried her Mesa a lie on me whom is yaakov telling this to Joseph A Lie true you were left a widower but Joseph was left an orphan is Yosef left less of an orphan then yaakov as a widower yose feels less pain than Jacob that yaakov communicates death only in association with his loss not Yosef very painful principle some of you know it all too well that ain't Isha Mesa Allah yaakov says to Yosef your mother died on me I know you feel the pain of her loss but you're married you have children you have a life you have a future she was my other half she was my everything characterized of all the people who suffered that loss and there are people who suffer a loss maybe the person who died had parents who are still yet alive they have a spouse they have siblings they have children they have nieces they have nephews so many people suffered but the greatest pain is felt the most acute pain is felt the most piercing inconsolable pain is felt but the spouse everybody else was one plus one I was a child plus you were my parent a sibling plus you were my sibling a person plus you were my child but for the spouse I was a half and you made me whole we were two halves that became a hole shalafiz but still wonders the mega Josef it's true that the pain of the spouse is greater doesn't mean others don't have also great pain but the greatest pain is felt by the spouse but why does it say Ella only labeler it should be Anisha Mesa a spouse dies and is felt the most by the spouse why is the language of hazam not the most but Ella only by the spouse and here he says taka where do we learn this whole rule from whom do we learn it from yaakov yaakov didn't we marry when Rahul died he still had three wives he's still plenty of laundry done plenty of dinners made plenty of shopping taken care of plenty of the children being tended to he had plenty still many men remarried quickly because they need to they'd be lost they'd be wearing dirty clothing malnourished lost don't know how to get anywhere never getting on they'd be finished yaakov it's not that he remarried quickly because he'd be lost he was still married to three women and that's the person that we learned the rule from Ella asks the mega Joseph what do you mean only and why from yaakov who stole three more wives if you're Joseph you say listen Dad I'm sure that was rough for you losing mom but uh you still have three wives and Benjamin and I we have no mother so what do you mean they saw a lie what do you mean on me yeah sure okay you're safe because of those questions you see just how compelling our rabbis were trying to characterize what is the goal of a husband and wife of a relationship of a marriage person loses a parent they remain your parent forever you say karish You observe a yard site you go visit the camera they're always your parents person loses a brother or sibling they remain forever your sibling so much so that the Torah says if a sibling died without a child you have to do ibum you have to continue their name but you might think that the husband and wife relationship it's now nullified it's now done it's finished it's severed Colossians Atma how does a woman find Freedom what makes her eligible to marry again the mission and condition says two things get and Misa Sabal those two ways when I was back in Yeshiva I'll never forget a Friday we were rallying in Manhattan a man who refused to give his wife a get even back then we had agunas even back then we rallied so we rallied on a Friday took didn't have to take off time from learning outside this man's office we could pick with signs going up and down the sidewalk in Manhattan and someone thought of a great a great jingle a great thing that we would say what was it two ways a woman goes free the person's name so and so which way is it gonna be that we were told that's probably a bad idea what are the two ways a woman goes free either give the get or the death of the husband it's a story of Nikita Ager someone once went to see if we keep the agar over the issue of giving a get or become a eager tried to persuade him you have to give the get Allah it's proper it's time to give the get the man refused he said look there's two ways that a woman is going to go free it's a mission and condition so I'm just telling you she'll either go free because you give the get it's the right thing to do let's do it right now or the mission says about the man told off from eager so he'd never give the get he walked out of the office he tripped on the stairs and died on the way down it's a story of Akiva Ager he died on the way down the stairs so cones asked him beginning with me says about two ways a woman goes free by giving a get or the death of the husband so all the other relationships are blood relationships parents children siblings they're all blood relationships a spouse is not a blood relationship it's the only one that you could have divorced you can't emancipate in from your parents from your siblings it's a bond that is eternal but a spouse it is created and it can also be severed was in all the other cases there's a blood connection that remains but when it comes to a spouse it feels more permanent the sever the break feels that it runs deeper and that's why the pain is the greatest and that's why it's Ella there's something about death when it comes to a spouse that is definitionally categorically different than it is when it comes to every other relative and that's why it says Ella and that's why it says Allah that's the pain that feels that's the sensitivity that we should have for someone who loses a spouse the pain that they are enduring the pain that they are going through as a comment here as well says why she's not buried in because she's not buried in in Mara samachilla why isn't she buried in says died during childbirth is she died from hemorrhaging during childbirth if you are a member of a cover kadishu you know that if somebody hemorrhages they have bleeding that you can't stop it runs the risk of soiling and it is very demeaning for the mace and we seek to preserve the honor of the mace was telling Yosef is your mother died during childbirth I couldn't afford to delay by taking her to bury her mouth she would be soiled covered in the blood of hemorrhaging during childbirth and therefore I had no choice but to bury her right here I had to do it immediately I couldn't wait and that wasn't dishonoring her that was the way to honor her by not waiting by not to Lying by doing it immediately the ramban disagrees yaakov had a lot of assets Yakov had a lot of property so even though was a short time a half day Journey from base but with all of the Entourage that yaakov had what he said is who did you want me to abandon who did you want me to throw overboard I had the soul Entourage to take the time true as what's the expression as the ego flies true it's a half a day Journey on the GPS I got it ways Google Maps they all tell you it's half a day but they don't know the Entourage I had that would slow us down it would have taken a lot longer and therefore I had no choice I had to bury her right here that's the ramban the ramban says another explanation is ashamed and embarrassed he had violated the Torah by marrying two women so in this world and at that time he had a head there to be married to two sisters to be married but in perpetua he wouldn't and therefore he only he only Buried one Leia there and not Rahal and not Rahul okay um if you knew the truth but why Leia merited to be buried and why Rahal was buried on the side of the road you would know the secret of these two sisters and he leaves it very ambiguous or enigmatic very mysterious like that if you knew the answer then you would know the secret of these two sisters I don't know the secret of the radvas I'm not a Mystic although by now I look like I'm old enough to be studying Kabbalah but I still feel younger enough that I can't but perhaps what he means is the following and I've shared this with you before it's a very very powerful image and a very powerful idea when Rocco was buried in the side of the road what's the significance what do we know from what do we know from the navi what do we sing one of the most beautiful songs Cry For Me cry for us mama why that when Jewish people would go into Exile when the Babylonians would lead us today I started this when that Siege would be successful on the base would fall when we would be exiled where would we pass we pass kavaraja that would be the route that we would take cry for us cry for us and the marriage tells us we read about it on Tish above that when all the other great ones of our history appealed and advocated and went to Hashem on our behalf none of them were successful it's only the pleas and the cries of she suffered so long all she wanted was to be a mother Raquel she was the love of yaakov the apple of Israel she was yaakov's love they had a raging mad love they were absolute love and that meant the world to Racha but still you know what she wanted or all she wanted was just want to be a mother Leia she's popping out kids like no tomorrow she's popping out kids like nobody's business she says it's nice that I keep popping out kids I'm the Fertile Crescent but all I want all I want is a little of yaakov's attention I just want to be yaakov's wife he's always running to my sister he loves my sister I see the way he looks at my sister I just want to be yaakov's wife and what do each of them get in perpetuity in this lifetime Rahul had to wait and be patient and struggle to be a mother in this lifetime Leia struggled feeling she's second fiddle to her sister Rocco as yaakov's wife but what do they get forever in perpetuity Leia is forever buried right next to yaakov in marasa marpela she and she alone and Racha forever is known as maybe that's the sound of these two archives The Secret of these two sisters that even though in this lifetime sometimes you don't get what you want sometimes you have to wait and be patient sometimes it doesn't seem it will work out but their legacy how they are remembered who they are in perpetuity Leia is forever yaakov's wife the only one buried next to him in she's on the side of the road is forever she's Mama Rocco that's how we think of her that is her name has another idea Rashi here on this passage when I was coming from your mother she went up and died on me and I buried her right here and now yaakov feels he has to explain to yosefiction on says Rashi why does Jaco feel he needs to explain to Yosef your mother I left her right here where she dropped dead that's where I buried her me I just made you promise me that what you're gonna buy a ticket you probably need business class you're going to need to go on the airline last minute by the way if you don't know this never tell the airline everyone mistakenly thinks that Airlines have a special bereavement fee you know what the bereavement fee is double the normal fee because they know that you really need to go you don't have a choice of which day to go I don't mean to rank on all the airlines some work better with you than others but there's no such thing it's one of the great myths of a bereavement fee so yaakov says I know what you're thinking you're safe me I just made you promise you're going to bury me in Israel no matter what it's going to cost while your mother exactly where she dropped dead I took a shovel I dug a hole I put her right there so you're probably wondering how can I mistreat your mother and demand such honor from you so let me tell you how it's not what I did to your mother she died right there everyone don't think it was raining and I was lazy I'd get all wet I'd get covered in mud I just didn't want to because it was bad weather don't think that's the reason because it was the dry season that's not the reason you know why I buried her right there went down and Hashem said bury her there so wonders the great sheep of the mirror he says yaakovina is explaining to Joseph I couldn't I wanted to I couldn't he said I can't I would have given anything I would have done anything to take her there to Thrill to put her next to me but Hashem said no this is the place right here so why do you have to offer the rest of the explanations I know you think maybe it's raining no it was dry you think it was a long shot and I could have gotten it there I know you think all these other reasons why is Yakov given the rest of the explanations why is he even aware why did he even think about the rest of them says an unbelievable principle here he says you know why it's because when yaco first heard the Bosco say bury her right here he said to himself is that really hashem's will or do I want it to be hashem's will because it's the easy way out because it'd be so much more convenient because taka would be a schlep and I have a begun to rush and it would be hard and she's still hemorrhaging and bleeding I have a million and one reasons why it's easier to do it here so am I doing it here because that's what he wants or am I doing it here because that's what's more convenient and easier for me says teaching us a rule that even when we have a way out we have a legitimate reason we couldn't dabble with a minion that day chakras you had to do carpool somebody needed a favor you're always like the Mitzvah you couldn't make it to chakras you had a sniffle a cold everybody's been trying don't come to shul if you even think you don't feel well you look like somebody doesn't feel well don't come too you have a legitimate reason not to come but you should stop yourself and say am I not coming because I have the legitimate reason or did I rush to conclude I have a legitimate reason because it's so much more convenient to not come that it was really the will of Hashem and not only his own will that was getting himself said now we turn to these Brokers we're going to try to squeeze in a lot in the last 10 minutes some of them seem like a very harsh rebuke such brachos who needs but we'll see in a moment so deposit tells USA wonders of Sternberg listen to this or streambox have you came for nothing else today this is foreign makes a comment about this look at the Torah Torah records Torah testifies and now yaakov blessed Yosef and then it goes on what happened how could you say Omar he blessed Yosef and he said where's the brachry Joseph vanira levoir Cesar sturmbach Salita listen to this Adam lizkos lira's bonav Holcomb bedarko the mission Hashem Torah says and what was the bracha Yosef yaakov then gives the bracha to Menasha and Ephraim the greatest broker for a parent is to have children and grandchildren underderach to have children and grandchildren who are Living Rich passionate proud practicing Jewish lives that's the biggest Brock of her parents because he because the tafarin don't don't have pockets because you can't attach a U-Haul to a hearse so what are you going to take with you all the things you accumulated in a mast your big portfolio your real estate holdings your stocks your time what are you going to take with you all your silver all your diamonds you can't take any of that with you you know what you can take with you the Merit of being a link in a chain and leaving children and grandchildren who will continue a life of Torah and Mitzvahs what a bracha is there a bigger bracha in the world many people don't appreciate what a broker that is you know when you know it's a bracha when you can feel the color of being concerned about children or a child or grandchildren who aren't struggling to find their way we spoke on Shabbos there are many legitimate paths there's not one way yaakov had 12 children with Safari one was litfish one was visiting Bells they were all kinds they were on different one we're a black cat one more said I love them all I got a lot of money on them to cover on a shower this morning but I love them all we're one family but then there's also the not on any of those drachem trying to find their Derek that's very painful so what's the biggest broker of sternbach referencing the swarnow here what do you mean where's the broccolios they find it in the text it's not there it is there the brachiosis children that's the biggest says I found this explicit nazoa have children and to have children who stay on the path that is the bracha Joseph the broker to Yosef was the broadcast Ephraim never take it for granted it's the biggest Baraka that we could that we could have okay what should we do the cash Department now yaakov gives these bracos we don't have time to get into it but all of them before I should point out these broccolas are incredibly harsh rebuke you're impetuous you're given to your impulse you almost got us all killed when you took on yeah I'm waiting for the bracha dad where's the brother I should marry up my children no I'm telling you that you're impulsive and you're impetuous and you almost got us all killed and they all point out you know what the biggest bracha you could give your children it's partially as a huge lesson in parenting don't be a helicopter parent don't be a bulldozer parent there used to be helicopter parents or the chemist who spoke about Shabbos helicopter appearances would come in and rescue their children no child should ever have to rescue themselves no child should ever have to have a skim knee no child should ever have a bad grid no child should ever get eliminated from the playoffs that they're playing football parents come in and helicopter but now there's not helicopter parents they're what they call snowblower bulldozer up north they call them snowblower well we don't know what that means we call them bulldozer parents you know what the bulldozer parents do they bulldoze all the obstacles from in front of the child khalila they should never have to face an obstacle they took away the SATs you know why they took away the SATs it's mean you can only get into college you could better cut if you took good that's mean what about someone who won't do well that's so mean so we bulldoze we eliminate all the obstacles no one can ever tell you anything you have to do yakovina says I want to give my children Broncos you know the biggest Brock I can give is by pointing out what you need to work on not by giving a participation trophy to all my children not by telling every child you're the greatest you're the best you're the most amazing I have big inner debates I know why we do it we have to do it we do it because it's what this generation needs but every Bar Mitzvah Investments for today we talk about this child like the greatest gift of the world like no one's ever been better no one's ever done more they've got the greatest potential I'm guilty of it that's what I do for a living in Shabbos mornings I understand it this child's now a franchise they have a logo they're a franchise they're the greatest we talk about all their virtues all their everything I understand they're all true everything we say about the children is true we're not making it up it's beautiful and this is what children today need we get further by emphasizing their positives and pushing them and it's wonderful I'm not saying we should stop it's what's necessary today you read this adoros but but I'm not saying the rabbi the parent or the zaida at the speech at the suda has to get up and talk about all the things you're great in this way this way in this way but I'd like to just mention you could try a little harder in gamars here I just want to mention that your room is a pretty big messy pigsty you could do a little I'm not saying you have to do it publicly the Yakov avinu teaches us that the biggest bracha is not telling someone how perfect how great how amazing how the biggest broadcast to say here's where we need to work on I've worked on here's what I needed to work on in my life here's what you need to work on here's how you grow from working on it so what does he tell Le'Veon Sherman you're impetuous you're impulsive you almost got us all killed what saved us what saved us my sword and my bow that's what saved us that's what saved us the Yakov take-up arms says Rev salavechik the hobby of Akashi my sword and my bow the target translates these two words as to lose what do those two words mean it's feel a prayer my sword and my bow are two types of Prayer since there's no record of Yakov in gun battle with the amorites the distinction between The Sword and the boat that the sword is used for close combat well the bow and arrow is used by the Archer at a distance correspondingly salazon our prayers for our immediate personal needs wisdom health and sustenance but so in our prayers that relate to Jewish Destiny and ultimate Redemption there are prayers that reflect our immediate need and then there are other more Global Jewish prayers and that's what's reflected says the two types of prayers but it will end with this throwback two of drug s so why didn't why didn't the Torah tell us that if oyako was saying was I saved you throughout through my feela what do you mean not my sword and my and my arrow that's not who were saved from the Emory with so the reason is there was no war with Shimon successfully wiped them out under the rules of you need a barista you're going to marry our sister everyone needs to get a bris and then they wiped him out there was no warm and kashti true lady and Shimon used the sword to go eliminate all the people of Shem however why does it say my sword and my bow because not talking about actual war and he was not referring to actual weapons what was he talking about feel a prayer so what do you see as the most successful component or element of War of course it's the army in Israel we have all we should Daven every day for our soldiers our courageous heroic soldiers who are protecting not only our brothers and sisters and Israel but Jews around the world of course it's our army and of course it's the military of course it's the weapons but what is the real success of War Acumen physical prowess military superiority that says yaakov make no mistakes you know why we're successful because of my my sword and my shield and my bow bear with me one more minute you save time on breakfast and lunch today so we have two more minutes special what I inserted my special request special needs we have the template of our amida we have what we say is part of the script and then we have what we insert into each bracha the feign of the people I'm darling so hard they should have it forgive me have made mistakes we want Redemption so that which we say is part of the template script even if I'm not paying attention it works but what I introduced what's new what I author has to be authentic I have to be paying attention Cavani Sarah you know a sword on its own you don't have to be paying attention the sharp sword it pierces on its own a sharp sword metal that has a point it pierces it can kill but a bow what do you have to do with the bow you have to draw it back if you don't pull the bow back it's not going anywhere the boat you have to pay attention you have to be mindful you have to be so that's the message says with the sword that's like the ordinary script the template of trila you just have to say it and it works but but kashti the part of FILA which is like a bow you have to be mindful conscience paying attention has to be authentic you have to pull back and by the way it's a beautiful cutscur you know what else about the bow the closer you pull it back to you the more you put on it the further it goes let's feel it too the closer you pull it towards you the more it represents you authentic you the further it goes the cutscore says a little bonus cutsker says that when it comes to um it says about children are described like a arrow in the hands of the Archer why are children like an arrow in the hands of the Archer so the the katsuka says because you know with children the closer you pull them towards you when it's time to release them and they graduate your home and they go out into life so if you want them to hit the target do you want them to travel with a straight velocity and not waver and not fall not to be affected by the wind the closer you pull towards you the further the more direct the faster the more On Target they're going to fly so that's Bahar be of Akashi says the meshachma but one more the Grizz the brisker of the caches but the bow the arrows are sharp but they have Noah on their own so two types of freelance chicken is feel every one of us very similar to the meshech okay we're out of time I foreign one more oftali why not tally was able to walk swiftly there's so many but the Brokers we give on Friday night when did yaakov die we'll end with this I know another date of Yakov zirzai when did yaakov die foreign by the time they got him up there it's Israel first they by the way they embalmed him which you have to understand I thought embalming's also how did they embalm him they kept him at time before they took him up and buried him maybe even reburied him what was the date of his internment when was he buried says the Sam's over today is the anniversary of the khura of Jacob ravino he was died on sukkas he was buried on assar betavis quotes many many other sources here some say it was pesach some say it was Hanukkah he has many many sources a classic here about all the different times what is the real yurt site what is the real anniversary of the day of death of burial are they meaningful and easy rest of the fast and Mirza Shem see you tomorrow morning four ten minutes living with Amura tomorrow night we're going behind the Bima with Veronica Bocelli the wife of Andrea Bocelli who loves the Jewish people and stands up on our behalf