Parsha Perspectives for Today (Vayechi, 5781) - Hashem is Our Best Friend

good morning Boer to and welcome back to T to our para perspectives for today our weekly analysis of the paraa the sedra that week's Torah portion with an emphasis on extracting the lessons that are relevant for us in contemporary times we have many sponsors for today I want to express our gratitude to them all first of all today's day of learning EPO grone synagogue is sponsored by Rona Dr sidone in honor of the birth of their granddaughter zahava Kaplan daughter of Alysa nak Kaplan sister to devor ma ma on that wonderful you should have a lot of the para series is generously sponsored for the Year by Becky cats and family loving memory of David Gman so grateful to our dear friends the Cates for their generosity in this area and in so many others thank you so much also this morning's class is sponsored by lizen Dr Michael Michelle in honor of her father Dr Irving Rabbi Irving and spor sponsored lastly by Carol Wald in honor of the year of her beloved mother Claris pressner thank you all for your generosity and for Your sponsorship Ma on the Simas and theas of those for whom it is sponsored should have an Aliyah we are up to the final para of the book of bous we are closing the book The Curtain is coming down on the story of the formation the development of the first family a complicated story a roller coaster story a stories of ups and downs a story that hopefully goes from dysfunction to function though we'll talk about this morning whether in fact it did that does the story does the curtain come down with joy and happiness is there closure and Reconciliation or is that wishful thinking have they never fully really reconciled Yosef and his brothers are they still in some ways at it not only when Braes closes but even until this very day that is part of our subject for this morning can be found in the art Stone KES on page 268 if you have an art scr Stone Kish for those who want to follow inside yob lived in MIM for 17 years Rashi tells us in some ways these were the best years of his life he had some peace he had some closure he had some degree of Happiness his family was back intact everyone was safe secure they're living and thriving in the suburb of Goen where they've set up a Yeshiva and a Shu and for 17 years Yakov is able to have the the sh the peace the serenity that he had wanted before those words yov lived yov lived 17 years but the word means even more than yov lived see rash says rash Rashi tells us that normally if you look in a saer Torah normally if you look in AES you'll find that there's a space left in between paros that para ends and there's a space there's margin there's empty CLA between the words that close the previous paraa and the words that open the next para and yet par is the one and the one and only para in the Torah which is stuma in which it continues on one line it continues one into the next there is no space between paros and why is there no space why is there no break what is the message that that seeks to communicate so Rashi tells us what it's communicating it's stuma because K yov once Yakov died nisu just like the paruma it's a closed para once yakob dies nisu the eyes and the hearts of the Jewish people became closed what does it mean they became closed the eyes and hearts became closed because of the SAR because of the burden because of the persecution the oppression because of the suffering at the hands of the Egyptians when yakob died this was the close of the Jewish people's Serenity Prosperity this was the close of the Jewish people's peace in and now they began to feel the the great asks a very compelling question again so many of us have learned this Rashi so many times and we gloss right over it but if you stop and you think about it for even a moment rola's question is very compelling we know that shim that Soros of MIT as Rashi calls them did not begin when Yakov died when Yakov died his sons the continued to outlive him and we know that from the end of our para because in the end of our para the brothers and ysf continue to have a conversation is there reconciliation have they moved on they they Brothers ostensibly are communicating and transmitting a message from their father that relationship continues so if that relationship continues then it means that the Brothers continued and the shim did not begin yet so when did the shim when did the harshness of the Exile first begin when did it first begin it began after the shtim after all the tribes were gone after the tribes died now with the death of Yakov so what's Rashi telling us that once it was so listen to the Insight listen to the Insight of R he says that the bond the K we're referring to is not the physical enslavement we're not talking about the physical oppression and suffering but we're talking about a spiritual one when Yakov their guide and their Mentor when Yakov that r model disappeared the shvat and his children began to feel the influence of the Egyptian culture as soon as yov was gone as soon as yakob left the scene when yakob was there he was successful in his barrier yakob was a throwback a Connection to the Past yakob was able to give them what they needed in order to have a sense of confidence a sense of identity even as they lived among a foreign entity even as they lived among the the Egyptians but once Yakov died once Yakov left the scene and now theam his children were on their own they were struggling and therefore Rashi therefore the r explains Rashi they felt the bondage not the physical bondage the slavery and oppression the servitude didn't kick in until all the shatam died but once yob was gone their eyes and their hearts were closed the role model the person they could point to the person they could see was gone and now the influence of MIM the influence of this foreign culture this foreign Nation this foreign people could be felt could be felt those living in are more susceptible to the influence of a non-jewish culture but it doesn't matter where you live in the world if you don't attach yourself to a role model if you don't have a Yakov ainu if you don't connect to somebody who is a link in the chain to the past and who is a model and a precedent for a life of faith for a life of devotion for a life of mysterious for a life of unwavering commitment to wanting to fulfill the r the will of God and to give it is so easy to fall prey it is so easy to assimilate it is so easy to become confused and distracted that's what it means was not referring to the physical bondage but the spiritual one which is also a form of bondage that we all need to be aware of and we all need to be afraid of moving right along the para tells us that Yakov is was ending the nearing the end of his life and he has this great fear don't bury me I don't want this to capture my legacy this is not where I want permanence but rather take me take me to the land of my forefathers take me and bury me with those who come before do for me both rash tells us this is the source of the notion the work of thead tar is when you take care of and when you um do a with those who are no longer among the living there's no hope that they can repay there's nothing they can give back in return there's nothing they can do for us and therefore that is the uh the ultimate that is the highest level of that we can hope for that is the highest it's what we call a I want to sleep in perpetuity I want to achieve immortality I want to be forever with aosai with those who come before me and he answered y made the promise didn't take it for granted he didn't trust so to say he said make me a promise I want to know I want to know that you fulfill your word I want to know that you really mean it y makes him the promise and and he bows down and from here we know the dwells the can be found God's presence can be intensely felt where it can be intensely felt at the head of the bed of of a sick person that is where hm is most accessible it's after these things is reported to your father is sick your father is terminally ill it's time to bring your children his grandchildren and for and he does that before he gets to the Sor he sh the promise the oath let's look at our first we're going to see several several insights of that's what we've been studying this year in the par class but invoking a lot the son of the great the of but this is May in in his he writes the following that tells y promise me and promises and rash tells us I alluded to it what does it mean the head of the bed yakov's bed was full in Russia yakob realizes right now among his children he had achieved something that his predecessors hadn't had but he also had is andov but he also had and had ysep was a king and ysf was living among the Gentiles and yet he had not compromised in Iota of who he was and who he was meant to beob at this moment is overwhelmed he's on his deathbed it's the end of his life he is reflective he is nostalgic and he's looking at all he's been through a roller coaster of ups and downs of conflict of tension of impermanence and here he is now surrounded by his loved ones surrounded by his family thinking about the end of his life and his legacy and the one loose end his yoseph who had been missing for 22 years the one loose end his ysf who he was concerned and suspected and not only disappeared physically but who he was worried had strayed and disappeared spiritually now ysep who's risen to the level of vooy of Egypt ysf is still with the program ysf is still with the plan ysf has raised the manasha and neim and therefore he feels full he feels complete he feels whole how peculiar rash is telling us in this and at this moment it's at this time that yob feels I'm whole I'm complete I finally feel a sense of comfort why now why did it take yose promising you he wouldn't bury you in Egypt how about when you first descended to Egypt okay when you saw the hint and the signal of the aalos of the wagons that wasn't enough to convince you okay maybe that I understand we spoke about previously last week and years before what the message was maybe then you have to come and see for yourself seeing is believing you have to see with your own eyes but once you got down to mitov and once you're living and seeing Yos you're learning with his children so exhale now you can breathe a sigh of relief now you know you're whole you're complete why does it only take until Yosef makes the promise what is it about the promise that finally assures Yakov that gives Yakov finally that sense of comfort that he can exhale in the continuation of the when yob is giving a to it says andash there translates the tarum tells us that Yakov knew that while ysf you know ysf maybe didn't wear yamaka to work I'm sure he did I'm not gossiping about ysf but we know that until recently there were many my father and father among them the previous generation righteous religious devoted holy holy Jews who the circumstances didn't allow to wear yamak work and yet they were unflinching and washing before they eat making a br and making a br when they came out of the bathroom they figured out a way and says the tarum so Yakov knew about ysf that while Yosef operated at the highest echelons of government while yosf lived in the palace and served as the Viceroy he was unflinching uncompromising unequivocal in his personal observance so again so why not until now why is Yakov only satisfied why is Yakov only feel whole or complete now what took so long long why not earlier the a of Dr here's his suggestion knew earlier on that y was being observant privately Mish but if yose was doing it privately if Yosef was able to mumble a br in the corner he held up the phone to make it look like he was on the phone when he was daving how did yob really witness how did he know how did he know the the energy the enthusiasm how did he really know when you ask someone to take an oath an oath is invoking God's name and when a person who's God-fearing invokes God's name they do so with an enormous sense of seriousness and sobriety it brings out a sense of one of the tests of a person's seriousness is how seriously they take using hm's name when God said in fact in the Ten Commandments when hasem said don't take my name in vain the tell us that the whole world shook the whole world was shaking at the thought of taking God's name in vain God's name is our connection to him when we talk about God's name we're talking about God's Essence we're talking about how God manifests and expresses himself to us we're talking about the way we access him and our relationship with him and therefore to take his name in vain is to take him in vain so when Hashem said don't ever invoke my name in vain don't say my name when you don't mean it don't make a promise a pledge a swear an oath with my name when it's untrue you're desecrating you're violating you're corrupting everything I stand for so it was specifically with this this was the litmus test Yakov knew if you'd ask yakob of course he knew my ysf is observant my ysf is gets it how do you know I know have you seen it not for myself but I know now with the when he sees the way in which he takes the seriousness of making this promise and this oath Ys is righteous ysf is virtuous and Ys is serious but furthermore you can explain when yob said I need you to take an oath and here's what you need to do when a person makes a promise and here the non-jewish courts have or non-jewish systems have followed us they put their hand on the Bible and make a promise where did that come from you put your hand on a Bible because if we want you to take it seriously the moment you're making the promise you put your hand you rest your hand on a Mitzvah there was no Bible there was no Mitzvah other than the bris and therefore in reference or association with the bris was the way a person would most seriously take their promise but ysf hesitated and why did ysf hesitate aside from the obvious reasons why it seems inappropriate but y hesitated because writes in a person should not go into the bath house with their father you don't go to the locker room with your father you don't change in the changing room with your father because it's not proper it's not respectful to Y Yos didn't want to he thought that was a violation of k y thought that it wasn't appropriate so he didn't respond immediately he hesitated at using that symbol of a Mitzvah of righteousness in order to make the promise so therefore it was the duel what Yakov witnessed was both the seriousness with which yosf took the promise the shua and moreover coupled with yosef's knowledge and awareness of respect the mitzah that he don't want to violate that boundary when you combine the two yov says now now I feel SH now I know that my Y is not only a sadic in private now is not only a aad when no one's looking but now I've witnessed now I can affirm hisus his his righteousness okay continuing right along now we can move after this they bring the brothers told your son is coming now we trans transition yob was told and who sits upright in bed who strengthens himself who strengthens himself note throughout our par and really throughout and when do we refer to him as yov and when do we refer to him as is pay attention pay close attention because y represents the vulnerable Yakov represents the transient Yakov represents the mere mortal y represents the greater entity isra represents the covenantal community is represents immortality and Eternity so Yakov is told yov on his deathbed is told but what does it mean by what he summons within himself is his sense of is his sense of Eternity and immortality his sense of the future of the Jewish people his sense of transcendence his sense of being bigger than the individual but rather being something so much more the Jewish people and yob tells ysf God appeared to me and he gave me a br and he told me I would multiply and I'd inherit the land and now your two sons who are noad your two sons who were born here in Egypt they're mine and your two sons they're like Ruben and shim and we know Hally this matters haic implications that and manasha though they are grandchildren they're level down from theim neveress Yakov promotes them and Yakov says they have the status of Ru mimon yose you're not counted among the tribes but rather e and did they each receive different territory or did they receive the same territory of yose are they really treated as two tribes or are they symbolically referenced or counted as two tribes exactly how far that goes is not for now but yob elevates and he's going to give them the we'll come to in a moment but first we have to ask a question for me says when I was coming from oh when it came to me RA died on me I point out every year I always find this PK startling this PK sounds to me comes across it sounds almost like like um like she's a used car your mother up and died on me could you believe it 100,000 miles Mesa she died on me that car she died on me the camel can you believe my laptop myell she died on me Al she died on me Barrett Canan on the way like as if Rael inconvenienced yob by dying on him he was on the journey he was on the way a large family what was she doing inconveniencing him why' she have to go and die on him ra on the way and I buried her there and I buried her there on the side of the road to which is B sees the children of Y and he says who are they so all the jump on this and all the wonder what in the world is going on here in these yov is moved to give a br yoseph summons his grandchildren and Yakov sees them and he says these are no ordinary grandchildren these don't have a level of grandchildren no FR manim they're elevated they're like children they count as tribes but by the way before I ask who they are even though I just spoke about them let me reference a little history your mother up and died on me when we on the way and I had to bury on the side of the road I had no choice oh okay back to these boys who are they and what's going on what in the world is happening here what's going on in this in this interaction what's going on in this back and forth in this conversation why here why now and what is Yakov trying to communicate with this story about R dying and why here and why here so it would seem let's look at Rashi let's look at Rashi before I tell you what would seem Rashi tells us Rashi tells us and I buried her yeah Rashi says you know why yob is invoking this here what's the promise that Yakov just asked from Yosef do me a favor I know it won't be convenient I know it won't be comfortable I know it will be hard will explain it was particularly hard for yosf why ysf is the vicroy he's living in Egypt you're not going to bury your father in Egypt where's your patriotism where's your loyalty don't you believe this is your future why are you going to another country y yose had to worry that he would be accused unfortunately this is a realized fear in our time that he had to worry that he was going to be accused of what dual loyalty dual loyalty you're taking your father to Canan you're taking your father to Israel where's your loyalty not bury him here so yakob says I know I'm inconveniencing you I know I'm asking you do something difficult and you're probably wondering and you probably want to ask me hey Dad ABA you want me to leave my comfort zone you want me to potentially get in trouble with parro all to take you far away a long journey an uous trip to bury you elsewhere but my mother you deposited on the side of the road my mother who died in childbirth you just buried conveniently where you were why didn't you inconvenience yourself why didn't you make that effort why didn't you struggle why didn't you go to extraordinary lengths to take her to with you why did you simply deposit her and bury her on the side of the road so Rashi says that's what yakob is anticipating Yosef might ask and that's why he's inserting it pun right here and in this spot even though I am I am burdening you with taking me to bury me elsewhere and I didn't do that for your mother you need to know I didn't even take her into the city I didn't even bury her in the Town Cemetery of B I buried on the side of the road why I know that you have a grievance against me I know that you don't understand it you're wondering why and how says rash you need to know that I buried her because divinely I was told it was prophecy God wanted her there why why would God want her there should because when the Babylonian evil Wicked General would Exile them and they would pass and the way out of Israel to Babylonia to Exile was exactly past this road M will rise up and she will see the Jewish people being led into exile and she will Advocate like only a mother can she will cry like only a mother can and she will plead and beg for mercy for children like only a mother can is going to [Music] answer that hope and that optimism that promise of return to the land comes on the back of the sincere prayer of RA IMU of our mama so says yobu according to Rashi why is he mentioning it here where does this come from she died on Me on the way like a like a car that died and I deposited her I buried her there instead of making the effort to take her with me and I know Yakov I know Yosef rather you're wondering I've just asked the inconvenience you I've asked you to go to extraordinary lenson and when it came to me I just deposited her there how and why how could I do that I know that's what you're wondering here's the reason I didn't do it randomly I didn't do it by chance it was by Design the almighty Hashem divinely inspired and told me to put her there and why did she need to be there says Rashi fast forward to yvi because when the Jews would be exiled it was Ron the Babylonian General would take them out of their land she would rise up and Dav she would Advocate as only a m as only a mother as only a mother could and with that he turns to ysf and tries to explain the ramban Wonders where Rashi sees this in the text if you look at the ramban there a lot I want to cover so we're not going to look at this ramban inside but the ramban Wonders where is this in the text and he SS maybe that's what Yakov meant when he said she died on the way why did the text have to tell us she died on the D on the way just tell us she died and tell us where she was buried why does it describe where she died so suggests the ran maybe that's what Rashi saw was in the words on the road that there would be something about being buried adjacent to the road which is significant which would be yakov's defense which would be the explanation and that's why that's why it says the road and the road indicates she needed to be buried there but the ran gives his own interpretation he doesn't like Rashi and thean gives his own interpretation to what in the world is going on here and he says yakob wants to explain to Yosef don't be angry that his mother was not buried in marak why because she died in the land of Canan and was not buried outside of Israel while yakob was burial was going to be in the land of Egypt she died suddenly on the road he couldn't bury her there how could he leave his children and cattle on the road and go with her to M it would have taken him in his Entourage many days he would have abandoned his family who would have taken care of them so says the ran maybe what yakob is trying to suggest to Yosef is a contrast she died in Israel and she's buried in Israel I am scheduled to be die to die die in Egypt so you can't compare it's true I'm asking you to do something extraordinary but the alternative to it is a final resting place in Egypt and I don't want to be there your mother died at least in Israel and that's where she was buried albeit not in maras but at least she is buried in the Eternal resting place of of the Jewish people of the Jewish people it wasn't possible the ramban understands that yob is offering a defense Yosef don't be frustrated don't be upset this is unspoken I know it's many years that we never address this but I want you to know why I want you to know why and the reason is I couldn't I wasn't practical I had young children I had a family I had people who relied on me I couldn't do it I couldn't do it the sorno offers another interpretation sorno has another we're again per and zorno the great Italian exy says the following he says where is Theo Mesa Mesa sorry just finding the place yeah maybe you'll say that he was going to have more children it was impossible when I was exiled when God sent me on the path when we were on the way rabbis tell us you know who feels the loss of a loved one most is it the children is it the nephews and nieces is it the rabbi the friends who feels it the most says the gar when a spouse dies nobody feels it as profoundly nobody feels it as acutely painfully as the spouse the spouse lost their other half the spouse lost a piece of themselves the spouse lost the partner the spouse um experiences a extraordinary loneliness I buried her there says you know why she's buried on the side of the road you don't understand it's true you kids you lost your mother you yose and Bam you lost your mother it's true bam didn't even know her bamin ra died in childbirth she never really met her son Benyamin and yoseph you weren't there but you know it's true the pain of children but nobody felt the pain like I did and I was so I my grief my grief ran so deep and so painful I just didn't have what it took I simply couldn't get it together and muster the strength to bring her to the cemetery I didn't have the and there's no question that from then there was a hole in my heart myar was destroyed my desires were weakened I had no more strength to have any more children that that was it so the swo explains why is yakob invoking this here he's sharing with ysf a deep secret Yosef I never told you I never told anyone but when your mother died I was crippled with sadness when your mother died I was paralyzed by the sense of loss when your mother died I put one foot in front of the other and I did what it took because I had children and a family but you don't you need to know that inside I had nearly nothing left so maybe you're upset and resentful but I want you to know the reason I didn't take her to barer there is I simply didn't have anything left to do it I find these maam so powerful because this is a conversation that yakob and Yosef needed to have it's a deathbed conversation but it doesn't need to be they're all conversations that children and parents all conversation that relationships in all directions need to have and they don't need to wait for the deathbed there are unasked questions that should be asked there are answers and explanations that should be offered there are clarifications that deserve to happen and not always will everyone be satisfied with what's offered but in order to have a sense of completion in order to have closure there are conversations and I could tell you as a rabbi that is regularly counseling at the at the deathbed people wait until it's too late they wait till their loved one is compromised or is terminal or they're unable to bring up these topics because they're concerned but you know when they lose the loved one now it's un it's there's no closure now it remains forever unexplained and here is a beautiful example as the Torah teaches us something from so many years ago but relevant today the importance of these conversations at the end of life and yakob is essentially turning on its head and he's saying Yosef you're bitter you're resentful you need to know what I was going through sometimes you have children who are resentful of the way a parent behaves when their other parent was dying but they don't know the profound pain that that surviving parent was enduring because it was never communicated it remained unspoken when it should have been so Rashi says I want you to know this wasn't me God told me to bury your mother there and it was a plan she needed to be there because when the Jewish people would be exiled Mama needed to be there DAV for them and the swor says and the ramban says no no no that's not what's going on what's going on is yov says I was being a responsible parent you don't know but you don't realize if I would have made the effort to go to and and would have left everyone alone you never would have made it I had to stay back that was the responsible thing and Theo off has a third interpretation says yov is telling Yosef I didn't have what it took I was broken inside I was Hollow and empty inside you have no idea the depth of my grief I simply didn't have what it took look at it through my eyes look at it and live it through my perspective the offers two more interpretations listen to the says the number one says I wasn't yet secure in the cave for when I was on the road ASA was still claiming it you want and wish for me to have buried Your Mother where ultimately Leia and I are buried I couldn't ASA controlled the cave at the time ASV was wrestling me over that cave he claimed it was his I simply couldn't so I buried her on the road but by the time I buried Leia the cave was clearly mine ASA had relinquished any hope of ownership any claim over it and therefore I was able to bury Leia so you can't have a Tina you can't have a grievance against me I couldn't bury your mother there I had no choice but to put her on the side of the road it wasn't an option for me number one number two I knew this border would eventually belong to her descendants and it'd be an honor for her to be buried in the portion that belonged to her children but had I buried her in the cave in where is within the division of the land of Israel among the tribes where does Kon where does Mar fall out it falls out in the portion of Yehuda Yehuda is the son of whom of Leia Ra's co-wife so for raal to be interred in the portion of of her co-wife of Yehuda the the son of Leia that wouldn't have been respectful what was more respectful yakob is telling yose is I buried her here near B and that is in the portion of her children and that is the greater respect that is the greater respect and then a final a third interpretation of the he says Yakov buried her there he says I could have been a it would have been a disgrace to transporter the why because her blood might have soiled she would have been in her burial garments and there was no ice packs today when we transport a person to be buried in New York to be buried in is we have special packaging and transportation and ice pack and cooler didn't exist then he says if I would have taken her to Mar her body would have begun to decay and that would not have been respectful at all so we've seen many many interpretations Rashi couple in the ran Theo three and the all different and all kinds of interpretations Rashi it was prophetic needed to be there for when the children would emerge and when the children would ultimately come out and that is the vision of our mama R the vision of our mama r that she stands by the side and she doin for us in a way like nobody else like nobody else could that is the and the vision of our mama who sits on the side of the road explains beautifully that hasem wanted to be buried roadside because continues to sacrifice for her children tells us was the a she was the one willing to sacrifice she was MOS m nees she was the one who gave the taste and the flavor and the atmosphere to the home and he and and says uh based on this that women are exempt mation man women should never be conflicted there should never be a tension a competition where are they going to give their their love and attention to Hashem or to their children so Hashem says no no no don't worry about me if there's a Time bound Mitzvah and you can't get it all in then forfeit me don't don't sit in this don't do this don't do the mitzvah for me stay with your husband stay with your children the this is the image of RA who is forever in perpetuity Mama ra she is this woman who was Barren for so many years who wanted more than anything she had the husband she scored Yakov Leia all she wanted to do was be yakov's wife Ro had Yakov and yet all she wanted was to be a mother and that is how she is remembered that's how she is memorialized in perpetuity she's Mama ra she is RA and so jakob's telling Ys yeah Bury Me and Mar but your mother needed to be buried along the road cuz your mother is a Mama she's most neish and she is willing to be sacrificed she was willing to not be in K she was willing to not be in in Mar in order to remain closer to you that is the extension of Rashi the ran says it wasn't possible Sor says I was paralyzed by grief I couldn't do ituni says ASA had the mara I couldn't get her there or number two it's a greater honor to be buried in her portion not another or lastly maybe the would have been soiled I didn't have that chance I didn't have that chance the ran has a final interpretation and listen to the final interpretation a seventh interpretation says the ran you know why yakob is telling Ys I didn't bury her there listen to this it's wild because Yakov says you know the fact that I Mar married two sisters is against the Torah in the Torah a person's not allowed to be married to two sisters so how did I do it how could I be married to two sisters it was a it was an exception for whatever reason the genetics the spiritual DNA of and of needed to combine with yov to yield the sh the 12 tribes for whatever reason it was a temporary exception to the rule but Yakov says you know what it would look like if the Jews for thousands of years would come to Mar and I would be buried there with two sisters what that would look like and what it would say about me that I was in continued violation of Torah to be associated with and buried with two sisters it couldn't be I couldn't have it and so instead I Li next to Leia but M ra sits on the roadside she cries and she and she Rises for her children for whom she is the most loyal Advocate a loving mother who can step up and stand up in ways than nobody else can so we saw seven interpretations and whichever one speaks to you they could have multiple truths maybe many of them are compelling to you but what I want to draw your attention to is not which of the interpretations you find most compelling as much as the importance of having these conversations don't wait don't delay don't leave things unresolved but have the conversations that need to happen even if it simply is offering a clarification so that it doesn't remain unresolved for survivors for successors for those who will remain behind moving right along now it gives the to and to man we all know the story that Masha is on yacob's right because he's older and the right side is the is the greater side and aim was younger as on the left side but Yakov pulls the old saru and he crosses his hands and he puts his right hand on the younger one his left hand on Masha the older one he gives and he says God who walked before me before my forefather which translates say God what's har art scr translates it as God who Shepherds meim har God who Shepherds me so it's all set up masim yob switches his hands instead of going right toim and Masha first he gives a br to Ys and the BR to Y is introduced with God who I love and loves me God of my fathers a god har what does the word Har mean so Arts girl translates har as what's a ro a Shepherd elim har means God who shepherded me he Shepherds me through my life he is The Shepherd of my life but the RAB Sal translates it differently based on the ran the ran says the word ro means a Shepherd but the root of the word Shepherd of Roa is re Rea is a friend and therefore the U translates is not God who shepherded me but God who befriended me K who's my closest friend I'm never alone I confide I lean I love I feel his love it's one of the most beautiful the Torah if you understand like the raan means means y I give you a that do you know that God has been my best friend May OD from when I was born and until today throughout my life when Dina was captured and raped when ASA wanted to kill me when this happened and I was on the road and on the run when love unpulled the old Switcheroo throughout my life and all that I had to endure God was my best friend from my Inception until today ysf that's what I want you to know and that is the biggest BR the biggest is to know that Theon is your best friend talk to him lean on him and and and live with him har I love thatat I love that explanation it is so powerful but back to R Dr RR number two wonders the following R number two wonders the following why isob Crossing his hands what's with the old switcher why does he just say switch places yakov's not shy why can't yakob just tell them fellas boys switch places why doesn't he tell him Masha on the left FR him on the right what does he pull the old Switcheroo crosses his hands what's going on the Torah is giving us the answer in the same P that raises the question the question was why does the Torah say he switched his hands and the answer is because he wanted to preserve the dignity and the honor of Masha so yes he wanted to to Channel Through the right through the greater hand to epim the younger one but he wanted to preserve the Dignity of manasha to leave him on the right the word which means to switch also has the same root as the word that yakob wasn't doing this randomly or haphazardly yakob was doing this thoughtfully and by Design strategically he should have told the boys switch places but instead he crossed his hands why he did not want to embarrass masas because Masha was the B and he didn't want him to be embarrassed [Music] so instead of asking him to switch places he took it upon himself to switch his hands in order not to embarrass Mas the great Reb writes person always has to show honor to the person who deserves it give him a seed on the M give him a seat at the table point and therefore manasha was older and by virtue of being the Bor he deserved to be on the right yes Yakov had to redirect rechannel cross his hands but it didn't take the easier route which was to switch them he took the harder route which was to hold his hands in that position hard for an old man on his death Med deathbed but he went the harder route because he took it upon himself better for him to work harder but not embarrass embarrass manasha than it would be to embarrass manasha what an important lesson you could also explain it a little bit differently because it says in the before Why didn't it just say why doesn't say was on the left of was on the right of is why does it say on his right which was the left of is in other words the Torah here is narrating from the perspective of Yosef he says Ephraim who was on yosef's right who was on yacob's left just say he was on yakov's left what's really relevant here is how they were positioned Vis yob yob is the one giving the BR yakob is the one who asked to hold his hands and cross them so what do we care how they appeared from the perspective of Yosef why does the Torah communicate it in such a backwards peculiar way because the Torah wants us to know that even though Masha even though was on the left of yob From yacob's perspective Ephraim was on yosef's right because Yosef was standing opposite Yakov so From yakov's perspective Ephraim was on the right because that also has a That's What suggests is each one of them is on a left and each one of them is on a right it all depends what perspective you're looking from ysf or from yob we're not going to get into it right now we've discussed it in previous years what is this makus what is this debate between Yakov and Y about which one takes precedence who deserves the greater bra man or is old her so why Ephraim why did yakob see Ephraim as the answer to the Jewish future while ysf thought manasha was the key to the Jewish future we've quoted the Reb in the past yesterday I learned a beautiful s of the rebba with RB tager who actually published the translation of the SAS of the rebba which is good because it's in yish so I need that translation he has a beautiful perspective a lot of beautiful perspectives but I think it's important to include this perspective of of r that yob and Y each as being on their own left or right depending on what View and what way they're looking at them ruk then moves on to the next piece and he asked a great question he says I don't understand what's going on here yob puts his hands on and he gives Y and only after that does it say only after that does he give the to so why are we saying he's giving a by giving a to what in the world's going on why are his hands on the heads of while he's giving the if you want to give a to put your hands on the head of Y says we learn a really important principle from from here the greatest blessing to a father is through their children when yob gives a he doesn't put his hand on jakob's on yosef's head he puts his hands on when children are successful when children are thriving when children are prosperous when children are on the path that is the greatest BR of the parent so the Z the grandparent puts his hands on the anak while He blesses his own son because he says son Ys you know what the BR is and Masha to have children who are continuity to have children who are on fire to have children who walk in your footsteps that is the greatest that is the greatest I think it's the who says that's the is what is the that we give our children the the give what is that the the says the is connected to that when says and I are going what is the the greatest is when children walk in the footsteps of their parent when they embrace the Der of their parent when they give every type of to the parent that is the greatest BR for the parents so says that's how you understand what seems out of sequence theim who's he giv the BR to is it to y or is it to yose's Sons why your hands on the heads of the sons if he given the to Ys why does it seem interrupted what's going on says it's all mixed together because the greatest BR to a parent is to have successful children who walk in their same who walk in their same path why do we choose why do we choose and Masha as the recipients of our of our give him a on that day saying says the you know what the is who always live in the moment live in that day the Jewish people will blessed for you so what in the world's going on here first of all why are manash chosen this is an age-old question we've discussed this many times but I want to add on something new this year why am anashim chosen not we give our kids a br I love and I'm running out of time otherwise I would elaborate and describe to you A M I have from my father that my father for a long time already gives us all bras we're grown children wherever we are in the world and Absentia he gives us a braa Friday night closes his eyes he extends his hands and wherever we are he gives us AA and we've too I give AA to my children every Friday Friday night I have several who have grown and are graduated and I give them a br every Friday night and it's the greatest BR to also close your eyes and think about your your an your grandchildren give them a give them a as well so if you would have asked me to choose from tanak if you would have asked me to choose from K who should we blessing to be like maybe hill hill such a righteous person maybe RAB AKA gave his life maybe aob maybe MOS yav all two rather minor characters of the Torah that's what we bless like so we've given many answers before number one we said these are the first two who are born in they're born outside of Israel they're born away from a Jewish Education they're born away from their Z their grandfather Yakov and yet they are steadfast they never compromise they remain true and that's a br to our children be like ephra and manasha you're growing up in gas you're growing up in Exile you're growing up in a world an environment which is forign which is difficult persevere be like a number one number two suggestion is that e manha the first generation to get along first ones Yakov and didn't get along yov and ASA doesn't get along yoseph and his brothers don't get along Ephraim and manasha you're the first ones not only do they get along Ephraim the younger brother is considered greater than his older brother is manasha jealous is he competitive no Mas is proud that's the braa we give our children that's the BR we give our children be proud and realize who you're meant to be but I want to tack on a third interpretation as comes from this is new this year and I love this and I'm going to think about this why do we give a more than any of these other personalities soot his father the only are called our Patriarchs the 12 tribes are not like the says and why is that because we have we have the doctrine of the decline we have this notion that every generation is further removed from God from sini every F generation there is further decline so the AOS they are the AOS they are the archetypes Theos only are called Theos and while the are great they're Ste down because there's decline there's AOS tells the if the earlier Generations were like angels we are mere mortals there is a doctrine of decline Soros were on our way down who broke that mold who broke that mold and didn't decline but was on the ascent Ephraim and man what do I mean says the says's father of Mor du yov just said they are not the Next Generation they're not grandchildren they have the status of they're like and shim even though they were grandsons they were given the status of sons they didn't decline they didn't go down they were B alah they went up soes you know the we give I can't wait to think about this this Friday night the BR we give to be like a that BR is may you be greater than I am everyone else is on their way there this is a to be even greater a to be even greater says in this when should this BR be given Target yonas says yob is telling him you know the greatness ofha you will use them as the model to bless others when which day he doesn't say Friday night very clear when that custom of giving a to our children on Friday night began but when when does the say you should bless to be like on the day of a that's when the the to be like a is on the day of a you know why is saying specifically on the day of bris you should give the to be like like because that's the first Mitzvah they're encountering so we're telling that child that little ra that little baby boy is the same way that you have come into this Mitzvah your first Mitzvah so to in every Mitzvah may you surpass those who come before so I'll just add on that my uncle my uncle once said at a bris maybe that's theat in what we say may this child go great what do we mean right now he's six inches long may he be 6 feet tall right now he weighs a few ounces may he weigh 170 lb what do you mean z this little pitola may he be large is that what we mean said my uncle no may this one who right now is less than me G may he be greater you know you have some parents who say I come to sh shabas morning at 10: a.m. I don't want my children to come earlier than 10 I keep this level of kous I don't want them to keep any more scrupulous level of kasas I only earn this money I only achieve this education I only this I want them to succeed but exactly where I am I want them to be where I am religiously I want them to be where I am politically I want them to be where I am in my education that's not a Jewish view rather our attitude is many may this who's right now less than me may he grow greater than me e manha are the first model of that Kim what a beautiful Insight of the that's why we invoke them that's why we choose them that's why they are our model I can't believe that we have to end with this i b just so you know I got halfway through what I wanted to share literally halfway through but next year but I'll close with air my friend shared with me the of kir says when he turns to he doesn't say it's really plural there two people shouldn't he say why is it only if you're United you will be the model and you will be the one through whom blessing comes if you are united if you are as one because when you're United you're not competitive when you are unified you don't care about who comes first because epim wasn't jealous of mas they were United and they were unified and therefore the is not says it's you as one entity as one unit you as one United if we really want BR in our lives we want BR for our children then we cannot be cutting Corners we cannot be using protea we cannot certainly be doing unfortunately like and trying to go out of order and out of line but a person has to rather be United person has to act if you want first you need not and that's how we are able to achieve BR in our lives there was and is a lot more to talk about if you're watching on YouTube please subscribe to our Channel even if you're not feel free to go to Goldberg on YouTube and subscribe otherwise stay happy stay healthy and stay holy have a wonderful and holy day we continue tomorrow morning 8:15 10 minutes of 8:45 living with amuna tomorrow night we go behind the be have a phenomenal day