Parsha Perspectives for Today (Tazria, 5782) - The Darkness Before the Light

good morning bogarto welcome back to parsha perspectives for today this week we have the privilege of reading parshas tazuriya and because it is a leap year we are not reading tazria and mitsura we're just reading tazria which gives us a little bit more chance to dive deeper into tazri and normally we're trying to make our way through to parshios we have an extra partial sahadesh the shabbos as well and rosh chodesh this is a three safer torah shabbas so plan your shabbos day accordingly say three secretary shadows which is always exciting i want to thank our generous sponsors of the parishioners series for the year becky and avi katz and family in memory of becky's father david grossman our learning should be leila nishmas is also sponsored by sharon wenger and jonathan wenger in loving memory of the dear husband and father bruce wenger dovari benitro's sixth year at site is thank you for that generosity and for that sponsorship also our learning is foreign appears on page 608 in the art scroll stone hamish and begins by the version if a woman conceives and gives birth to a boy the thomas there is a impurity that she has she is contaminated with and she needs to purify herself from but before we dive into that the bigger question is what does the beginning of this pasha have to do at the end of last week's if we read the torah in succession without the break that we normally and are accustomed to reading it with but if we simply go from the end of one partial to the other if we were to simply open the hamish and study the kham is straight we would see the contrast the comparison the juxtaposition of the different sections of the different narratives the very end of shemini deals with what the laws of kasra's the laws of kashus the beginning of tazura begins with what what is the connection between the two if you saw salanter says the great founder father of the muslim movement is so we deal with childbirth but childbirth is an impurity which is the beginning of the theme of impurity that whose main focus whose main theme is so what does sarasa nego and what do the spiritual leprosy and impurity have to do with keeping kosher in the last week juxtaposed one to the other because the torah is not only concerned with what you put into your mouth the torah is equally or more concerned with what comes out of your mouth the end of last week's pasha shemini deals with the laws of kasras how careful we are to inspect for insects and to confirm that the hasher is valid and legitimate and to make sure that our utensils don't get mixed up and confused we have pesach seminars and workshops all about the food and despite that you text and you email and ignore everything that we said and follow up with all of your questions as if we did not give an entire seminar about it because we're all so concerned about the minutia and the details of every little negligible thing that enters our mouth says reviews good it's important we should be vigilant we should be careful of course non-kosher is spiritual poison we spoke about last week same way you wouldn't take chances if you had any doubt whatsoever you wouldn't put something that could kill you in your mouth why would you put something that could spiritually kill you and compromise and corrupt you into your or your children's mouths so it's good it's important but cesar visro it's important not only to be careful with what goes in our mouth but it's important to be careful equally with what comes out and that's why we have the connection just like you're careful that something impure just like you're careful that something forbidden doesn't go in your mouth be equally careful that something impure that something forbidden doesn't come out of your mouth shakan torah spends more precious valuable real estate two parties on what comes out of our mouth and the process of rehabilitation the process of repair is much greater and more intense when it comes to saying the wrong thing what comes out of our mouth and what comes in it so therefore sensor beswell that's why there is such an emphasis and that's why we are so careful here what an important and powerful message what a recalibration of our priorities we have to care about both you have some people who are makbid they are strict and stringent the laws of casters and then they are cruel in their gossip and slander they're ruthless in how mean they are with their words you have other people who say look i'm nice and i'm kind and i'm careful and i'd never speak that way kosher not so much not as important being a kind and a good and a moral and ethical person that's what matters as jews we strive for both we can't emphasize one to the exclusion of the other we are careful both with what goes in our mouth and what comes out of our mouth because that is the recipe and formula for achieving real holiness rash here quotes ishaq says what a woman conceives in the name of rav just like the creation of human beings in the process and the story of the genesis of the world when is man created man i mean humanity created at the very end on friday afternoon on the sixth day after behemoth oath after the animals domesticated non-domesticated fowl and fish that's why we had in previous parshiots zostora here are the laws of animals kosher non-kosher creepy crawly flying swimming these are the laws of the animals and now our parsha is real just like in genesis it's animals than humans so too in the laws first animals then humans the major adds if a person merits we say you preceded everything in creation and if a person doesn't live up to their humanity if a person acts like an animal we use that in our very vernacular you live in a pig style you're stuffing your face you like an animal you're acting like an animal immorally unethically you're indulging compulsive instinct behavior it's an animal impulse it's an animal instinct you're not engaging your uniquely godly sense of discipline you're indulging your animal impulse and compulsion so such a person we say the little worm that little flea the little fly precedes you in creation so i don't understand depending on the person's behavior is the chronology of when they were created what are you talking about open the hamash read the beginning of partial spacious and there you have the timeline of creation no matter how a person behaves the reality is that we were the culmination we were the climax of creation we came last we were the ultimate creation there's a hierarchy if you look at the timeline of creation you see an increased progression and sophistication of creation as we go that's why women like to say who is really the final creation which is the peak and pinnacle of creation they like to say women woman is created less she is extracted from man's rib so if it follows that hierarchy and there is progress then truly the peak and pinnacle of creation they like to say so we have this hierarchy and we have this timeline so what do you mean based on a person's behavior if you live in a clean room and if you eat with a sense of discipline and if you are able to be sovereign over your own instinct in yet sahara then we say you preceded creation you were first and if not you come after the bug the flea the fly the worm your lust it's not a function it's not subjective based on your behavior it's a timeline what is the birth certificate of the worm say what time and what does the birth certificate of the human being say it's an objective measure that is the question of residual epstein we say to him so we communicate to someone something that's not true poisonous can you change the reality based on your behavior if you live a virtuous life you came first if you live a non-virtuous life then the flea came first the fly came first so says the ultimate purpose of the whole world is the human being the world is here for us we don't worship the environment we don't worship the animal kingdom we don't worship the plant kingdom they and it are all here for us that's why we were created last first we set the stage first hashem put everything in place first he stocked the cabinets and then he invited us into the room then he invited us into the world onto that stage which was entirely set today so everything would be ready someone doesn't invite a guest to their house and say you sit here like a doofus i'll be in the kitchen first starting to prepare you invite the guest and when they arrive everything is ready to go table is set everything's prepared the courses are ready to be served so hashem we are his guest in this world and he first set the stage he prepared everything was ready so that's what the major means says when we fulfill the purpose of creation we are here on a mission we are here to recognize that the world is our stage it serves us and now we are the actors on that stage we are meant to fulfill a mission we are meant to live god's script so to say to fulfill his mission and why we're here and when we do we precede creation meaning god created with us in mind but when we don't when we give in to impulse and compulsive behavior when we act like an animal then we are violating and failing the very reason or purpose that we are here then we are not fulfilling that god had us in mind and created all of it for us then everything else came first we are the lowliest and we are the last and that's maybe also what we mean is yes we were created less chronologically in the timeline but he had us in mind first all of it is here for us so we give our life meaning and we give our life purpose in how we live it do we think carpe diem sees the day capture and accumulate as much pleasure and happiness as we can it's selfishly all about us and our ego then we're lower than an animal we act like an animal that's all that matters we're are we here for a mission are we here for a purpose are we here to make the difference are we here to make the world a better place then we are engaging and elevating and now we are empowered by everything in the world and it's why hashem created it there's so much packed into this insight of josedo which we're not going to unpack right now but one of the implicit messages which i think is important to remind ourselves given the times we live in and the different currents that flow is that put us in a world of hashem said i set the stage it's a beautiful world and now serve it and protect it don't ruin it but the reason that we care for it the reason we care about the environment or we should the reason we should have an awareness about the water levels and the oceans and whatever climate that objectively all agree is being impacted in what we can do without getting into pollux politics i think the politics surrounds what we're supposed to do about it not around what the reality is of it and is not worshiping something else it's about protecting that which is supposed to be there for us similarly with animals we are protective and we're sensitive and we care to avoid the pain of the animal why because we worship animals we're there for animals we have to care about the animals no the animals are there for us and from your leather shoes and leather belts and the leather seats that you drove in to get here and the flashing dinner you'll have tonight i know you agree with me but we have to know that we are caring about animals because the animals are there for us not because we concede or serve or are subservient to the animals so we were created last and we have a responsibility to all that comes before not because we serve it but because we protect it so it can best serve us and our mission here in this world so that's what rashi's telling us that first we had zos torres we need to have perspective in context yes we care about the animals and yes we don't cause animal suffering and you feed your animal before you even feed yourself because we have a responsibility but the reason that we do that is not because we serve the animal we don't subscribe to pita but rather we eat pita and hummus it's delicious but rather because we care because we are to be sympathetic kind sensitive beings and we need to protect animals who can better be there to serve us that's why they're here that's why they're all about parakeet on the eighth day the baby boy is born there is a bris on the eighth day we know the versus the eight days pashabas we spoke about maharao and others explain why the number eight the number eight i quoted was really the first of nisan why is it described as the eighth day because the number eight seven is the natural world some of the days of the week seven of the rules of nature seven is what we can predict and anticipate and eight is one above eight is supernatural eight is transcendent eight is what you can't predict it is miraculous eight is unexpected chronic is eight chris is eight and we see the number eight here bris is on the eighth day says again he doesn't say this explicitly this beautiful safer collects teachings of nachman based on and apply to the parasha and says the following over my love shiva yam why does the baby enter the breast with the breast the baby enters thee not a trick question the covenant of avram avinu until then the baby is an aural ineligible for carbon pesach not complete yet a human being it's like the suit that the tailor left the tag on and it's up to the consumer to cut the pockets or cut off the tag and finish the suit the outfit because engaged and invited us to be his partner in creation and the last act of creation to complete and perfect creation he left the tag on and he said cut it off and press go but he didn't say to do it on day one you know when when the baby's born and the nurse says would you like to cut the umbilical cord which is a halal question whether a father can the nurse doesn't say would you like to cut off the foreskin why not if in fact the foreskin is a source of impurity and we are elevating the child and completing the act of creation of the child and inviting and escorting the child into the covenant of none other than avraham avina with a bris why do we wait a week why are we delaying why are we pushing it off why don't we do it immediately call them all to the hospital room or bring the baby to the shoe for a couple hours sneak them out so you could have blocks and bagels and an omelette station and get the bris done on day one why do we wait until the eight day we will we make the baby live with an aurala for seven days for a week angels because of nothing the great student of nachos this question we're asking which is if there is an elevated state of kedush of holiness of sanctity of consciousness and that's what we're striving for why do we delay why do we wait why don't we do it right away it's not only true with the bris mila we find it in every area of holiness for example tamira klipa kodemas lapri the peel the shell always comes before the fruit what happens is there's there's a seed there's a planting of holiness that germinates that grows and it only blossoms and becomes exposed we only access it later first it's hidden the holiest place on earth the holiest land on earth our beautiful precious homeland the land of israel was not hours from the start even though yes avraham walked its within its breath and it was promised his progeny it wasn't smooth sailing from there avram goes down to egypt then he comes back and yitzhak doesn't go down but yaakov or does and his children disappear 210 years and we wander in a desert 40 years and then we have to first conquer it and liberate it from the hands of the kinamen canaanite nations we don't have to purge israel of non-jews torah tells us those who subscribe to the seven household laws who are willing to live as noah hides they're welcome to remain in the land and to sit by our side they can be fellow citizens of israel it's only those who are filled with idolatry and paganism and foreign values and influence that we have to get rid of iraq of early day israel so why why didn't we get smooth sailing right into the land of israel why first was it in the hands of idolaters and pagans and we had to go through a process of purging it from them before we could acquire it how about the fact that this entire world existed for 26 generations without the instruction manual before we had the blueprint before we had the torah kedosha before we had the torah's ms of hashem the world had to navigate for 26 years without ways can you imagine i don't know how we lived without it i do remember mom and dad we would drive one of the map open there was driving say quick turn on 10 10 wins it's about to be the traffic update should we take the west side highway should we take the fdr never in my family but in others a fight would ensue i told you to take the fdr there's always traffic this time of day i know because i take it all the time why don't we go the other way i i always tell people and i don't understand the people i don't do this if i pull out of my driveway i go on ways i want to know from my house to thornhill estates which way on the circle i should go you have an eye in the sky telling you where there's traffic where there are police where there are accidents or broken down cars why wouldn't you use that i i don't know it boggles my mind it's the same people who never get the easy pass and continue to pay in cash or who doesn't have tcsa pre-check i just there's a whole group of people that i just don't i can't believe that we inhabit the same earth i just don't understand it i just don't understand it how do we get on this because waze allows us to navigate the world we have an eye on this guy and it teaches us how to go it teaches us how to go and i don't understand that you could be a responsible human being today and not want to know and if it's a religious reason you know how much bitter torah there is sitting in traffic if you want to learn more torah know how to get places faster with all the time you'll save you could finish shas several times so hakuna spiritual ways it's called the torah here's a complicated world i have an eye in the sky and i'm going to tell you how to navigate it i'll tell you how to navigate relationships and food and pleasure and time follow my ways called the torah and it will teach you how to navigate you know what else it does it's really cool that waze does when you make that wrong turn with ways sometimes by accident and often because you still think you're smarter than ways it tells you to go that way and you say ah that's ridiculous that way i've been driving my whole life that's the wrong way this is and then you turn the corner and now you're stuck in traffic that doesn't move and you say ah ways i'm so sorry michael me i should have listened to you again so the torah also tells us you know the beauty of the ways doesn't raise its voice it doesn't yell at you it very calmly says you've made a wrong turn we're rerouting and it sets you on a new path towards your destination and hashem loves us he doesn't raise his voice he doesn't get exasperated same thing he just says rerouting you chuva let's get you back on the path back on the derek where you need to go so we have this gift called ways so why didn't hashem give it to us right away from day one you could ask that about both ways physical ways and spiritual ways remember how excited we were with mapquest we thought that was incredible it was as good as following the directions if you made one wrong turn your mapquest printout was worthless so we waited 26 generations to have the torah it's such an incredible co-pilot why didn't hashem give it to us from day one why didn't you deposit man and woman in this world and from day one say here you are here is your torah it's your instruction manual don't leave home without it so we waited first we had to purge the canaanite idolaters before we could get the holiness of their tissue 26 generations we waited before we got our torah hakadosha and this little boy has to wait seven days before he could get his brisk and enter the covenant of torah was only given this is the way of the world says first there's erev and then boker this is the way of the jewish world the rest of the world defines a day by morning and then night but the jewish people define our world by night and then day first we go through a period of night of darkness and then we blossom and then the light the sun rises and then the light shines and then there's illumination how do we live that way though why do we first go through that process why do we have to first spend our time navigating that darkness and where is the holiness if we are empowered and driven and energized by the kedusa by the holiness of hashem then why is the fruit hidden in the peel in the shell then why is it we wait seven days the breast is the eighth day then why did we have to wait to get out of straw then why 26 generations towards torah then why do we have to go through an erev before a bokeh so he says the following apostles that the world only spins on the axis of torah because created the world for torah in cain so what keeps the world spinning what sustains our world when we're going through darkness when we're in a period of erev struggling challenged confronting hardship spiritually emotionally physically how does that little boy go through the first seven days how did we get through till we got eric to stroll how did we live 26 generations and how do we get through our periods of dark before we encounter and break through to the light the answer is within that shell and within that peel within that darkness there is a hidden light it needs to be redeemed and it needs to be revealed it needs to be exposed and it needs to be accessed but inside it is incredible light his incredible redemption his incredible hope his incredible faith muslims the umbilical cord is nourishing the baby you could ask the baby is in the womb it's dark and it's cold the baby is swimming in that amniotic fluid it's all shriveled up and wrinkled and nine months we can't see it the whole period of gestation the baby is hidden in a period of erev it's dark so how does the baby exist can't feed that baby you can't feed that baby you can't take the little baby food in the spoon a little here comes the airplane you can't hold the bottle and put it in the baby's mouth can't nurse the baby so how does the baby eat in the mother's womb the answer is the umbilical cord that can't be seen but is nourishing all alone he is even in the hiddenness nourishing even in the darkness there is a source of light even under the ground there is a seed which is planted and it's already beginning to sprout and it's already beginning to blossom he doesn't mention this from nachman but we're about to enter the month of nisan we have a mitzvah we make a bracha called to go find a tree that is about to blossom and to make a bracha when do you make the bracha when do you fulfill birkas when the fruit emerges when you could see the fruit you could smell the orange tangerine the mango now when do you do it when you see the flower the bud that comes before the fruit that's the halacha you find a tree that is flowering that's budding before the fruit emerges why is that when we make the brocco because it is our statement our affirmation that there is a fruit inside and it will come and it will be sweet and it will be delicious even if all right now is a flower we are emerging from the dark winter not here in boca we are holding on to the winter every day you come out you're like thank god still i could breathe amazing to continue through yenta should just continue through but elsewhere they're emerging from the dark and cold and frigid winter where the skies gray 24 hours a day and the night falls at 3 o'clock in the afternoon and you have to defrost your windshield to see anything and you find that little blossom that little blood and you say ah there is a fruit that's coming and all winter long underneath the ground it has been taking its nutrients and preparing to come forth and that's what akash berko the way he set up the world physically and we make abraha shalom aleichem welcome fruit we've been waiting for you we can't wait to hold you and to smell you and to taste you and even though you're not here yet we believe and we're confident you're coming so we make up we make this bracha on this tree you'll see in the weekly this week zaghis always invite the entire community to their backyard they have fruit trees come make the month of nisan if you have a food tree if it meets the criteria make it yourself if not come to their house. we too go through times of darkness of hiddenness of hashem of concealment shabbat where we are weighed down by physicality by materialism by sin of muhammad even in that period of darkness there's a spiritual umbilical cord it's nourishing us it's feeding us yourself oh because who knows there's a pure nasham inside us there's a pinta liyid that even though right now there's a hard shell even right now there's a clipper there's a peel even though right now it's covered in cloaked and darkness there's a pinterest there's a beautiful neshama there's a beautiful jew inside there's a spark that's going to burst forth that's going to blossom it's going to be sweet and succulent and delicious and beautiful game don't give up don't despair and don't be hopeless no matter how dark no matter how bleak no that's how hashem created the world that it's arabs we will see that light at the end of the dark so why does the baby wait a week do the bris on day one the answer is a year the jew has to go through seven days of darkness before the light we wait until that fruit blossoms that is the way of the world physically and spiritually that is the design of creation and it teaches patience it teaches us that we have to be patient it teaches us toil that we have to work that you don't just access holiness without effort it takes time and it takes work and it takes sacrifice these aren't very popular words today we live in an on-demand generation and world what do you mean work what do you mean time i watch and i listen and i eat and i do on demand my uber eats delivers on demand and my entertainment is on demand and my playlist is on demand and then we turn to our spouse and children and we say new act on demand but that's not how marriage works that's not how children behave and on demand i want to download shasim to my head but it takes seven and a half years to get through the daffy me and on demand i want dominant to be over in two minutes but it takes time to talk to your creator the world is not designed on demand it's arab then bokeh it takes time and effort and toil and patience to break through and burst through to the light to get through the peel and the shell to the fruit and that's why hashem created that world and all the examples that are engraved it takes that time okay let's keep going [Music] person has these negative uh qualities we're talking about i'm sorry let's go back not yet made a mistake based prosecuted gimmel sorry an insight from destler the measure says is a great insight from the desk they're still the eighth day the bris eight days on the breast the eighth day is the breasts the measure says the alcohol near myolami gimbal says the following his dai new zulu zoo i love these kind of madrushim they're not meant to be taken literally but they're communicating a message shambhas and brismillah got into an argument shabbas and brasmila got into a fight shabbos shabbat said i'm greater than you i'm the holy shabbos you think i'm bigger than you i'm greater than you so which one is it who's greater than whom the shabbos gator is mila greater what's the answer you should all know if you've ever attended a burst on chavez you know that shabbos you're not allowed to do the things that are involved in a breast you're cutting you're bleeding you're bandaging you're allowed to cut down the branch to start the fire to forge a knife to cut the baby we don't ask that we say anything that can be done before shabbos must be done before shabbos only the things that can't be done are done on chabas but which one supersedes the other shabbos bris is so who won the argument bris okay that's the majors we know the halacha that bris is the shabbos a bristol falls on the eighth day not every burst that falls on the eighth day by the way if the baby is born through a c-section the breast is not to shabbos why because the pasik says what does the pastor say is she had to have given birth naturally vialda but it's a c-section cesarean section if the baby did not come out naturally but you know crawled out through the window did not exit the door then it's not dokashavs it has to be vialda is the opposite also true what if the baby was not conceived naturally it has to be violda to be the hashabas does it also have to be sazuriya to be the kashabas there's a discussion in hawaii literature if a baby is conceived with ivf and then born when the brist falls on the eighth day is shabbos is that bristol just like the alda has to be naturally does does tazri have to be naturally too interesting questions so baby so that's abs why is the magish what is the magistrate adding in this depiction of this debate what were they arguing about what are they fighting about shabbat says i'm bigger than you nana kishkish and bris is not bigger than you and they're wrestling it out and bris center of destler you could find this in leftover page 226 says destler the following what is shabbos shabbos is putting rukhnis into the gashmis all week long we are chasing after this world we're conquering we're manipulating we're working we're changing we're repairing we're controlling this world and then what do we do on shabbos we make peace with nature we make peace with this world we're done controlling we're done manipulating we're done being in charge of it so shabbos is we're putting the rookhnis into the gas mias i lift my spoon of chicken soup and i say the coverage is cooked on tuesday night it's just soup but on friday night it's the covered shop i'm putting the spirituality in the physical that is shabbos what is bris the idea of the oral of the of the mila is you are removing the physical there was a physical aurala there was a physical foreskin there was a cover there was a barrier and you were removing the physical so the measures can be understood as follows says radessler what was mila saying putting rukhmus into the gas mias that's nice but you know what's even better transcending the gas miss it's dangerous to put rockness into the gas miss because you're still engaging the gas miss so you know what's even whole or what's even higher is transcending the gas which is a better methodology to try to add spiritual to the physical or to transcend the physical and become spiritual and that's when shabbat says i'm greater and bruce says no no your method is dangerous because you may confuse yourself you may convince yourself that you're adding spiritual spiritual to the physical but all you're really in doing is indulging the physical so you need to elevate with spiritual and bris won out bruce went out in that debate so destiny very beautifully i think elucidates what was that debate what were they arguing about okay now we move to parakeet gimbal base we move on to the issue of of saras the individual gossips or slanders is struck with a spiritual leprosy it's not a physical leprosy it's harass is not leprosy it is a spiritual disease an ailment a spiritual leprosy parakeet gimmel passage base why does it say adam we have many words for man torah has a glossary why do we employ adam we'll get to in a moment if a person has on their skin says and by abu urba negative has to be brought to or to one of the colony's children one of the konami's children it says what does the word vahaya always tell us it's the person comes to the coin you got to make a doctor's appointment you're going to the spiritual dermatologist you've got a significant problem you've got a breakout you've got a bad rash you've got boils where's the simcha nobody skips and whistles to the dermatologist to hear that they need to put a little cortisone cream on it so why would somebody vahaya where is the simcha where's the joy it says the al-shakh the helige do you know why you have saras saras are the physical manifestation that there's something wrong there's tuma there's poor behavior there's poor judgment there's poor choices and that manifests that expresses itself on the skin with saras and that's why it says adam is the pinnacle adam and adam were in a growth mentality adam is higher than ish and gevar either elusia inaudible is actually a healthy thing you know why because it means your body is working and it's alerting you your spiritual antenna is alerting you that something is wrong and that's a source of silhouette pain is a good thing say pain is a good thing we have an entire industry of pain management billions and billions and billions of dollars of pain management how could pain be a good thing the answer is nobody seeks pain or wants pain there are unhealthy people who get pleasure from pain but normal people healthy people don't get pleasure from pain don't seek pain so why is pain a good thing why is it simple the answer is one there are terrible illnesses and ailments where a person's nerve endings don't work forms of neuropathy that you can't feel pain a person can scratch or injure their leg or themselves a person can have internal bleeding or organ failure and not feel pain and never know anything's wrong and do you know how dangerous that is you can google it look it up later but you'll see that this rare but present disease is dangerous particularly children who run and play and don't know something's wrong it can break a bone you could have a cut you could have a really dangerous problem and not know it because you don't feel pain so it's pain good or bad it's paying a gift it's an asset reliability the answer is pain is a gift pain is a great gift because it's an alarm system it's an alert that something's wrong says the al-shah when you break out in saras boy you're in good shape you know why because the person is on such a low level that their body has not told them that something's wrong the person is on such a low level with such low expectations and such a low bar and living such a low life that gossiping or slandering doesn't bring with it an alert or an alarm if there's an alert alarm it means you're capable of more and you are better you could do more and that's why it's vahaya lash and simcha and that should be our attitude that should be our attitude says the asha towards pain spiritual pain means you know what i could do more i could be better i could be better so that's why shame is a very good thing musha we've written a lot about in the past it's actually a book on modesty coming out that i have an article in that talks about this mal bush is me los angeles on the one hand but on the other hand bush is a prerequisite to chuva the notion of shame is shame good or bad shame being shamed by others is bad but feeling ashamed is very good the person who never feels ashamed it's very very dangerous thing just like a person who doesn't feel pain can engage in dangerous lethal behavior and never knows where the boundaries are the person who never feels ashamed they dress around they walk around immodest naked and there's no shame ramanus friedman wrote a book does anyone blush anymore this is a generation we're living in a world where nobody blushes billboards up and down 95. the state of dress or undress that people operate live in the language that people use the way they behave at award shows there's no shame anymore no one's ashamed of anything what happens when you have no shame you have no boundaries because that shame is what protects and preserves those boundaries for us a person doesn't want to feel ashamed that sense of shame is an alert it's an alarm it says whoa you've fallen you've hit you've hit rock bottom don't behave like that you don't want to feel this way again and when you don't feel ashamed by your behavior by your speech by your conduct by your dress then you don't know where those boundaries are so shame is good just like pain is good so the individual who breaks out in saras ah hashem the systems are all working systems are go it's a good thing do we have saras today that is a bad sign we don't have to ask today when exactly did it stop in history what was the last generation of jews that had sarasota went through the process of these two partials of rehabilitation of coming back from it it's a great question to trace in history but we don't have it today you know why we don't have it today we're on low levels we don't live with the kedusha the consciousness the sanctity the holiness that they once did we're on relatively low levels and on that low level our alarm and our alert is broken it's not working so tsarasa is an alarm and an alert is pain a good thing or a bad thing it's good it tells you something's wrong go fix it is shame a good thing or a bad thing it's good it says you've crossed the line now protect it operate and stay within it and it's good or bad that's the al-sha's beautiful insight that saras is good it means systems go it means everything's working it means the alert and the alarm are intact now change and become better and be the way you're supposed to let's take a look at the rub solaveit has a couple comments on this word it says in the post that introduces the topic of sacrifices back in vayikra we read also the same word not ish and not ger but adam became carbon adam it said kiyaker of mikhem which literally means when a man brings a sacrifice what's the next word adam kiyakriv nikem what does mikam mean from yourself to god in contrast what does it say here adam or sarah what's the word what that's missing me doesn't say me the inclusion of the word became in the context of sacrifices and its absence absence when discussing saras indicates that when a jew sins he does so due to an external influence his true internal spiritual makeup is inconsistent with sinning the rambam uses the concept of mikem to explain the halacha that in the case of an individual is obligated to grant his wife a divorce but refuses to do so based on as the authority you can administer lashes until he acquiesces we do not follow this today let me say this a million times to you both to you and to the authorities we do not do this today we do not physically assault a person until they're willing to give the yet we have many who volunteered to do this today but we do not do this day but the rama says and pass kids makan osashima osani a man is recalcitrant he's withholding a get from his wife it's a form of abuse and torture it's cruel it's intolerable it's unacceptable so the rama says you take him out back and you beat him until he says oh you know what i forgot i do want to give the guy with my broken bones and my black eye and my bleeding internal organs i forgot thank you you've reminded me that i really do want to give the get so the rough wonders as all do i don't understand how can basically compel someone to divorce his wife again moose's puzzle if a person gives a get out of coercion it's invalid if you give a get out of coercion that's invalid is there a greater coercion than taking a beating so the rambam says you know why because the individual achievement wrote on the the pentaly the holy spark to holding inside that jew really wants to do the right thing but it's buried deep inside the person [Music] it's very deep inside the person and they need some help bringing it up to the surface you're breaking the eight zahara so the yetzer tov can shine through you're allowing the mekem the individual person to come out so when it comes to the carbon it's adam kiyoko nikem that's who we really are it's coming from inside us but when it comes to gossip and slander it's our own there is no mikam when you gossip in your slander it's not your best self you know that's an expression it's not mine all motivational speakers use it i've noticed other rabbis have also jumped onto that language but i often give drushes and i talk about being our best selves being a better version of ourselves being our best selves moving towards a better version of ourselves again it's not mine i can't take credit for it it's a great expression it's how we're meant to live our lives don't be complacent don't be apathetic don't be satisfied with who you are no matter what age you are but be growing and changing and improving become a better and better and better version of yourself again let's go back to technology anyone here have the iphone one no anyone here have microsoft windows operating version one now every one of us when it comes to every other area of life we download the latest version did you upgrade did you download the latest version did you turn in your device for the newest version but then when it comes to our dabbling in our home understanding we're still on version 1.0 in first grade have you upgraded your version of your davening have you upgraded your patients have you upgraded your philanthropy and your generosity and your kindness or you're still operating in version 1.0 every other area of life we upgrade and we're not satisfied in here that's what the rav is saying we chem gotta be a better and better version of yourself so kiyakriv a carbon what comes from within that's the true us gossip with slender that's not the best you that's the worst version of you and therefore it's not me chem it doesn't come inside us i want to tell you something extraordinary there was a person who didn't get to get for a long time and we worked and fought very hard for her to court several times and we had the demonstrations and we it was a very arduous process painstaking passes personally painful process and the get was given to the credit of the person and an individual who had gone to court to testify against after the get was given needed help and i went then to testify for to keep out of jail to advocate on his behalf particularly now that he had given the gut and done the right thing i thought had turned the corner i was being a much better version of himself and deserved that support and encouragement to keep doing it and after testifying and the judge ruled in his favor and she had anticipated not doing so she shared but did because she believed his change outside the courtroom i was a little nervous to see him hadn't really spoken to him they gave me a big hug we hugged each other and he apologized and he said i want you to know that divorce brought out the worst part of me but i really wanted to do the right thing all along and i'm so happy i gave the game it was mamish the words of the rambam coming alive from me it's the words of the rama i'm coming through kofinoso achayomerotsani kofanoso we have to give encouragement today we don't do it with whips and chains and fists and weapons today we do it with social media and demonstrations and social pressure but we're not doing it because we don't love the person you need to know and anyone listening needs to know that when a basin because not every woman who decides she wants forget is in aguna obeys the nasta pascan that the circumstances are such that the time is that the woman should have received or get not everybody who wakes up and says i want a divorce and if you don't give me the gap by this afternoon three o'clock i'm in agunda and we're gonna demonstrate there's a process there are men who are recalcitrant and abusive and there are women who are manipulative and who do parental alienation and do things wrong and the community has to look objectively and fight for justice and defend the party that is the victim and it's not always one gender and it's not always one side and we need to be fair but when it's been determined only when it's been determined by a competent reputable base then that should be given you need to know that when we demonstrate or apply that social pressure it's not because we don't love the man it's because we love him more than he loves himself and we want him to do the right thing so the kofi knows and that's why the word meekem that's why the mekem adam kiyakov mikam when it comes to the carbon and the word nikem is omitted here in the gospel and slander because it's not the best version of us it's adam instead adam who sees these uh conditions and then the rav ends another beautiful insight but we're running out of time so we'll come to that the second inside of the rav another time moving right along parakeet gimmel pasok your dalla parakeet gammaplastic year dallas page 612. we have an obligation to take the individual to the coin it's a very unusual disease you don't actually you're not diagnosed with the disease because of the disease when are you diagnosed with the disease only when the calling diagnoses it a billion times over a person broke a bone and they go to the they go to the orthopedist the radiologist looks at the x-ray when are they when do they have the broken bone when they broke the bone or only when the doctor says you have a broken bone which is it i had a child once who broke a finger arm that's a long time ago we got the x-ray we're waiting at the doctor and doctors are very busy they're wonderful but you can wait that's a comedian says it's called a waiting room for a reason don't expect to do anything other than wait there and the x-ray was put up on that light box and the doctor came in and looked at it and said sprained it's not broken now while we were waiting we were bored so i went on google and was comparing her x-ray to the x-rays i could find in google images to see what there was something wrong so i pronounced the doctor but wait isn't that like a little hairline fracture he said oh yeah it is actually and we found the broken bone anyway but doctors find a broken bone so when do you have the broken bone when it's broken or only when the doctor declares it broken god forbid a bazillion gazillion times over when is a person diagnosed hallelujah with cancer when only when the oncologist says there's cancer or one is cancer yet here is a very funny halacha it's only when the cohen examines and declares saras that the diagnosis takes effect and the recovery process begins the person has to live outside the camp and so on why it's an objective diagnosis who cares whether the coin declared it or not what difference does that make so the mission in the garam rashi here quotes the mission of nagaram pasik says on the day healthy flesh appears it shall be contaminated so mr nagaim explains the word which seems redundant we just said you bring the person to the coin the coin examines it so what does it say and on that day so the mission undergoing teaches us excludes certain days the kawaii does not examine the when the rambam let's say right after the wedding let's say right after the wedding the hassan says ha something on my arm i don't know what this is i'm worried what if it's nagaim what if i have taras does he go to the coin is given respite for all shambha brachas the coin does not examine it does not declare and therefore the person doesn't have what about yantiff the raman paskan salah yant if you comment does not examine cohen does not declare and therefore now we can understand this right leprosy is contagious we know that we for the most part solved it but there was a time there were leper colonies that people were isolated that they had to be in in fact until two years ago no one ever used the word quarantine other than in the context of context of leprosy no kid ever now little two-year-olds quarantined they never heard the word choi whoever heard the word quarantine before two years ago other than talking about lepers and leprosy why because the leopards wanted to be quarantined because it was highly contagious so imagine imagine you don't have to imagine because this has been the case in many times but imagine the chasse of the wedding says i don't smell anything i don't taste anything do we say shashtel there's been a lot of chevrolet has prepared a lot of work went into this don't talk about it just go to cheva brachas we'll deal with it afterwards i think there might be people who've done that it's irresponsible and wrong but that's wrong does it not is it not contagious because we told the house and don't talk about it it's absurd of course it's contagious so why is this okay we say we don't the cohen will not see you today enjoy your shovel braces we'll deal with it afterwards leprosy is contagious how does that work so krish barco made that the halacha it's not contagious unless it's quaskened by the kohen and why did he do that sort of bender who was here this year the vendor of yakov bender rasheed who's a great educator and a great person they came up with a beautiful i bought this at the farm cell with bender on hamas beautiful insights on she has and he says it's remarkable the nega would seem to be a mathias here we see if mathias the reality is itself subject the laws of rachmanis has shines through in fact it is not an objective diagnosis and unlike a broken bone or cancer or a kovid you do not objectively have it whether the doctor has diagnosed it or not there is but the torah is teaching us about sensitivity and that's the lesson the importance of sensitivity towards the simple joy of yantif the right of every jew is taught in the parasha of the for a reason the baaloshinara is missing the sensitivity he disparages and belittles unable to perceive the reality of others the torah says to him feel with another think of another see their reality and perhaps you'll be kinder gentler and more sympathetic you know hassan are you no person going into yandeff you've gossip you've slandered you made a person feel all alone and invisible in this world you hurt someone else really maybe you deserve to feel that way but the torah is going to be sensitive to you the torah is going to show you what you did not show someone else so enjoy your shava brachas or enjoy the yantif because the torah is going to show the very sensitivity that you need to learn who says yes objectively you should have it be diagnosed with it it should be able to contaminate others but hashem says i'm going to practice the very sensitivity that you failed to show and that's why this is a very unusual diagnosis that it's not objective and it doesn't take effect that is a law that kurdish barack embedded in it in a very unusual maybe unique fashion to demonstrate the very sensitivity that this person failed to happen that we should have had what's also interesting that bender points out quotes for pincus is that what's also interesting is that you see what are the exemptions when is it that we don't examine and therefore we sensitively spare the person from being isolated in a period they should be with others what are the two times [Music] what do you see from here you're supposed to be as happy going into yantef as you were walking down your aisle you know the hustle and the build up the lead up the wedding day we just had a beautiful wedding an offer of the symbol was palpable it's tangible it's electric it's incredible everybody's excited going into their wedding day and every anthem is supposed to be that same level of simcha because you'd say spirido hassan maybe someone would say pesach all alone they have to clean and cook okay give me saras bring it on don't be so sensitive don't spare me i know you see the simchas jantiff is supposed to be such that we'd never want to miss it that we'd never want to lose out on it that's the attitude that we're supposed to have oh yeah there were so many more ideas but i'll tell you one more only because i want to quote the mega joseph it's going to be or the shabbos the mega yosef from sirotskin will be here the shabbos yes and he's going to be giving the kabul after the fifteen minion so you can go up to him and tell him that you hear the mega deal quoted often in the practice here he's staying at his son who lives on my block so the megan yosef says the following tells us we're going to end with this parakeet game possibly the person with sarasota whom there's an affliction is garment shall be rent his hair shall be unshorn he shall cloak himself up to his lips and he is to call out i am tame tame so the person with saras has to call out that they are tame why do they call out that they are tammy we're humiliating them or bringing that shame which is healthy for boundaries maybe according to some that's not what hazard is says when a person is going through a hard time they should not hide it they should not even be embarrassed of it they should not be private let the people around you know you know why because then others will dive in for you esther tila bas ariatsi pora wasn't easy to ask everyone but they decided her parents that the benefit of everybody dominating and doing mitzvahs and doing everything they could in her merit was more important and far outweighed their privacy and their reluctance and their hesitancy not an easy decision i promise you but that was this gemara that is this gemara so i'm wonders why is the matsura different than anyone else going through a hard time why couldn't this gemara teach this about anyone else khalil a person is diagnosed with an illness tell everybody slow down for you a person is looking for a shiva tell everyone they'll dab them for you a person is infertile tell everyone aldon you have a child why did the torah specifically choose the case of the mizora to teach this lesson that when you're going through a hard time don't keep it private don't bury it let people know so they can doubt it for because the person who gospels and slanders god's not interested in what they have to say why that person has violated and abused the power of speech they've used it to harm not to build so god says the same you you just spent that time gossiping and slandering others you just spent that time talking about my other children and now you're going to come doubt them to me i'm not interested in your prayers so specifically this person needs the prayers of others so everybody needs others to pray for them but they can also pray for themselves but the ba'la shannara the person with sara's can't open for themselves because they've abused their power of speech they need to ask others to dive in for them so why specifically here when it comes to somebody who wants to get married somebody who wants to have a baby somebody's looking for a job someone who wants to buy a house anyone could say look could you daven for we do it left and right when someone needs to feel us we ask on their behalf but what would happen if we did that for the mitsora we say hey we're going to put in the bulletin so and so is a masoda could everybody please say tell them on their behalf everyone's going to say i don't know of course they're mitzora they speak lashinar all the time what are we going to do by announcing that we're going to be speaking lashana about them so we can't say it for them they can say it for themselves and that's why the rabbis chose this specific crisis to teach the lesson tell others sadly for you because this specific case others can't announce for you you need to announce for yourself that's why the rabbis chose this case it's a great insight to hear more you come here from the shabbos and they it yo safe stay happy stay healthy stay holy have a fantastic day if anyone needs to sell hummus i'm available for the next hour to arrange the sale of comments it is that time of year again so we put out a lot of times but you can begin it right now