Parsha Perspectives For Today (Shemini, 5782) - Shame, Not Shameless

good morning bogarto welcome back to partial perspectives for today coming at you live from the safari basement thank you all barack hussein we had a brisk this morning so grateful to everybody accommodating to our new location here this morning perspective series for the years generously sponsored by becky navicatz and family or dear friends and members of becky's father david grossman david monash i'm not mentioning the global campaign because it's done and you've heard more than enough about it other than to mention that we're still four thousand dollars short of our goal we're at 146 000 want to get to 150. if you've not yet given feel free to still give even though i'm not mentioning it anymore there still are opportunities if you've not yet contributed participated done your part to help us share and spread our torah bsonline.org globalbrsonline.org global but as i said i'm not mentioning it at all we have the privilege of reading parshasmini page 588 in the art scroll stone hummish and we continue with our storyline we take a little break a little deviation from the uh corbonos themselves our pasha is a very tragic story our pasha can be defined we've spoken years past that if there's one theme that runs throughout our parsha it is the theme of a hoke it is the theme of that which is incomprehensible to us the end of the parsha are the laws of kasras which we'll get to the end of the parsha are the laws of what's kosher not kosher to eat which according to many is a hoax some want to suggest kasras is about health although if you've looked at many people who keep kosher clearly present company excluded but clearly keeping kosher is not automatically a recipe for healthy living or good cholesterol or unclogged arteries you know kishka is perfectly kosher and it's perfectly deliciously unhealthy and many other examples so many of them of harsham explained that castrus is really a coke in the end of the day god says this is what you can eat this is what you can't eat and while it conditions us to a life of discipline to be careful what goes in our mouth what comes out of our mouth ultimately we bow we submit surrender to hashem he says to do and we do so according to manikatras is a hoax and similarly the story at the beginning of our parsha the tragic tragic death of nadiva navio unexplainable and comprehensible even though there are so many suggestions as to why it happened ultimately we don't know and we don't know for sure and a common theme therefore in our posh as we mentioned in the past is when we are willing to surrender to god both in law and in life sometimes we surrender through following his laws a hulk we say we don't understand doesn't make sense doesn't seem right we can't understand it and yet we are prepared to do it so there's a hoke in the law and there's a hoke in life there's a hokey in the way we live as well sometimes life throws at his curveballs we say we don't understand it it doesn't make sense to us and yet just like we have to obey and surrender to the halacha whether we understand it or not similarly we have to obey and surrender to life and what it deals us whether we understand it or not okay with that we begin page 588 veritas israel it was on the eighth day that moshe called that karam moshe yaron lavana moshe called iron and his sons oola zignagistral and to the elders it was the eighth day of what eight days since what eighth day since organizing the practice dry run dress rehearsal of the michigan this was really opening day opening day you wouldn't describe as the eighth day you describe it as the opening day why do we describe opening day as the eighth day rather than the first day we've discussed that in the past as well i think last year's parties this year we focused on that you can listen you know you're allowed to listen to more than one partial sheer a year there is no there is no expiration date so i think we talked about that last year vaiiba yamashmini ramosha asks in his josh moshe madurai said srikhaliya's aaron and the sons were present for the whole dress rehearsal moshe did the dress rehearsal which was sort of a tease to him he really craved this position he did not get it he was told you don't get this position but you get to dress and rehearse and be the understudy as if you do but ultimately when it's showtime on opening day you are not you are a spectator so aaron and his sons were present even as moshe did the dress rehearsal so why does moshe need to call them now they're already there you call someone who's not there to come but if someone's already there you don't need to call them to come says moshe in his moshe because the torah is transmitting it's communicating to us it's emphasizing that when we do a mitzvah even if we're in the midst of it even if we're continuing it even if we're familiar with it it has to be for us like we're doing it anew it has to be for us like we're doing it from the start like we're doing it again every time fresh every time a beginning every we always talk about the notion of today every day it should be as fresh ani wow it's like the first time i ever said it chakras wow it's amazing pasha shmini i've read the partial learn the partial studied departure for decades but each time we open it we should be at the edge of our seat what's going to happen how will our own react what's the next thing that will happen these laws of caucus wow that's fascinating we should arouse awaken ourselves that our attitude should be as if it's brand new as if right now we were commanded from the giver of the torah as if right now it's a new can't believe it i'll tell you something i'll probably regret right after i say it i'm grateful of course for every one of my children deeply deeply profoundly grateful um you know i have six daughters and a son and never thought that there'd be that son and hashem the son came and he's now nine years old and i have a collection of pictures that i take every night while he's sleeping i go in his room look at him and i say hashem i still can't believe he's here every one of my my girls too i stop and i kiss and i take pictures i say each one of them i can't believe they're here and it's true but every day it's like a new like wow it's like he was just wow i can't believe it each of my kids each of your grandchildren you could have a child who's 50 years old none of you look like you have 50 year old children i'm just saying in theory theoretically others you could have a child who's 50 years old and say i'm so blessed it's like they were born today it's like i just gave birth to them what a bracha it's unbelievable so tzaddikam that's our attitude towards mitzvos it doesn't grow old and stale and rote we don't do it at a habit it's always new so even though they were present all along aaron and his sons moshe calls him he says come here check this out there's something called the mishkan we're going to press play we're pressing go we're going to get started ah you were here all along you saw the entire dress rehearsal so what so what it's new it's fresh it's a beginning it's going to be absolutely incredible none of you should tell my family i told that story please parrot test i told you i'd regret it let's keep going so aaron he told them bringing back to him what he was meant to bring on this opening day is an a-gill now for aaron would it be triggering to bring an egal for aaron to interact with an egg i'll take a young eagle a young bull would that be triggering why aaron has some bad memories with an ego in fact there's an entire episode in his sin that's named for him it's called the height so in fact that's exactly what happens here he's told to bring all these things this is the commandment and then possible come close what are you doing what are you hesitating why so far away no don't be shy come here come close you're meant to bring achieve the atonement for yourself and the people and this too we spoke about the past so we will not belabor however rashi tells us why was he hesitating we'll come more to this in a moment but why was he hesitating he was hesitating he was embarrassed he was ashamed he was resistant and reluctant to come close why because egel a girl said oh ego maybe i'm not worthy maybe i haven't really done atonement maybe i'm not fully forgiven maybe i don't belong coming close so um allah moshe moshe says what are you embarrassed about what are you hesitating for this is why you were chosen this is your mission this is your mandate new step up to the plate opening day this is your job this is your job so let's start go back to paris plastic the glory of hashem will appear to you the measure says on this passage israel moshe told the jewish people get rid of the eighth ara stop being distracted stop listening to that voice of self-sabotage stop not believing in like god is singular and one in the world so to your service of him your service of him should be unique and singular and exclusive should be focused should not be fragmented or distracted as it says circumcise the foreskin of your heart why because i am the lord your god will okay so sometimes you feel when i'm on fire when you're spiritually on fire when you're doing phenomenally well when you're feeling elevated and uplifting when you're close and connected to hashem there is no boundary and there are no borders when you're on fire pursue that fire fan the flame of that fire and do anything because sometimes when we're on fire sometimes when a person is spiritually inspired spiritually aroused so now they think i can pursue unchartered territory i can bring in my own creativity ingenuity spiritual entrepreneurship there are no boundaries or borders for me because i'm on fire i feel so connected to hashem that's a yate sahara it's the tzahara within being spiritually on fire and that's what the torah madras tells us that's what the torah is warning what's the eight sahara when your yetzer tov is doing phenomenally well where is the yatara what do you have to worry about a yate sahara when your yetzeratov is doing phenomenally well the answer is you may forget that you're so in love and you're so on fire with hashem that it's not about what you want it's not about how you feel it's not about what makes sense to you for how to come close to him but there's a prescription there's a formula you have to follow what hashem says you can't decide i'm so committed to my health and wellness i'm so on fire with taking care of myself that i'm not going to take just one of the medicines that the doctor told me i'll take the whole bottle or i'll cut the medicine in half or i'll do things differently so when i'm reluctant and hesitant then i've got to follow but when i'm on fire and when i'm driven and when i'm self-motivated now i'll i'll come up with my own scheme i'll come up with my own formula when it comes to the divine formula for spirituality we have to listen to hashem and this matrix is particularly poignant and significant because in our very passion we have two individuals who fail to heed this warning they get swept up there are people who get swept up in spiritual inspiration that then the yetzahara takes over that instead of remaining within the boundaries of appropriateness of moderation of what hashem wants they begin to introduce their own creativity and they break down those boundaries and who are the individuals that are very passionate who do that it's such a happy day a joyful day and they are among the distinguished officials of the mikdash they are serving the vasamitos together with their father and they think wow we're also on fire what accums it's what if i bring in what a tish what an ila what a shirkhlali what a drusha what a seem whatever whatever that moment was that made them on fire they bring in zara they introduced their own creativity hashem says whoa i love that you're inspired i love that you're motivated i love the drive i love the enthusiasm and passion but that doesn't give you license to ignore or neglect or to break through the barriers or boundaries that i've placed to try to introduce your own religious creativity i probably say this every year also but this is a big challenge in our time people have to understand that being spiritually on fire there's room for individuality and spirituality within the framework of torah and that we have but when the spirituality drives you to in fact neglect or violate the halacha that's a counterfeit spirituality it's a counterfeit spirituality it's not what it's meant it's not what it's meant to do it's not what it's meant to be it's not what it's meant to be so it has to be genuine it has to be real and it has to be within the boundaries and the prescription that hashem gives for us and not outside of it so we said that moshe tells his brother krav maga come close and rashi says why because aaron was hesitating he was reluctant he recoiled he went backwards what made him go backwards because he saw them as beach the mizbayach has the carnaham is back the horns the corners of the mizbeh the corners of the altar were ornate they were like molding around them as bach so the corners if you're looking at it head-on it looks like an ox with horns the two that's called the karen the corners were the horns and he starts he's told bring the eggel first he's told bring the calf that itself is triggering then as he approaches he sees in front of him the image of the calf and he says to himself whoa i'm unworthy i'm incapable i need to stop this isn't for me and that's what the the uh rashi the measures tell us the ramban uh expands on it so aaron akoen was hesitant reluctant until moshe says le cache from others what is the means your hesitancy your humility the fact that you walk around with a self-awareness is exactly why you were chosen the brazen bold person who thinks they're so great is so ego-driven thinks they need to be the spotlight of everything who when called doesn't need to be told come close but they're running right into the spotlight maybe they're the wrong person but like you were born for this this is what you're here for hashem created you to lead the avodah you were born for this but according to this additional layer of interpretation it doesn't mean you were born for this that this is your talent and skills but le cache means because you're beaucre because you're shamed and you're hesitant those qualities are exactly what leadership needs leadership needs people who carry a self-awareness leadership needs people who are capable of feeling shame you know we have leaders i don't need to start naming them you all know who they are one of them we should send a big thank you letter because the growth of our shul and the growth of the state of florida is only because of his poor leadership in new york but two of them more than two of them but the the you could describe today's leaders are shameless they're shameless they have no shame they can kill old people in nursing homes and they can violate the boundaries of people around them the women who report to them and they have no shame they publish books and look into a microphone and i'm not picking on any one because unfortunately there are many uh it's it's symbolic i'm not picking on him because i'm picking on him i don't feel bad picking on him but i'm not picking on it because i'm picking on them the apolitical parsha class i'm only mentioning it because again we we struggle where we have shameless leaders shameless they feel no shame they're driven by ego they have no shame they don't hesitate they run to the spotlight in fact they push other people who deserve the credit out of the spotlight so they can turn the spotlight on themselves but that's what this shot is our [Music] he's born for this and despite being born for this he's reluctant because he has shame and he has self-awareness and moshe turns someone he says those aren't reasons that you shouldn't be the leader le cache that's exactly the reason that you should be rav asks a question he says he says we're talking about the holiest place on earth at the time the mishkan the precursor to the basement dash you're talking about serving bifnim arun as the coin goddale will have the greatest access in the holy of holies in the holiest place on earth among the holiest utensils on earth doing the holiest service on earth in the holiest wardrobe on earth who wouldn't hesitate who wouldn't demure who wouldn't feel that weight who wouldn't feel that responsibility the holiness and sanctity and feel maybe i'm not right maybe i'm ashamed maybe you don't know i'm not perfect so isn't it obvious he should feel that way why are we praising it that was going on you ready it's a little bit the opposite of what we just said this speaks to me a lot raviol says aron says you know maybe me yes ask somebody else you could find someone more qualified you could find someone more pure you could find somebody who didn't do a haita eagle to bring the ego on the mizbeh that looks like an ego it doesn't have to be me find someone else and moshe turns on he says what are you doing hashem put you in this position and he gave you these talents and skills and he called you this is your calling he invited you like this is not a time for humility this is not a time to be reluctant to hesitate when you have a calling step up and answer that calling i like to think that there's a difference between arrogance and self-confidence arrogance is when you think that you are responsible for your talents and skills arrogance is when you don't recognize that it's unknown from god and it could disappear any moment arrogance is when you take credit instead of recognizing that you are simply a conduit and a shem that's arrogance self-confidence is when you say hashem has given me certain talents and skills and now i feel an awesome responsibility and wait to use them to fulfill them to make a difference with them to perform my mission with them that's a self-confidence self-confidence not because of my ego or arrogance self-confidence that hashem has lent me he has endowed me he has put me as the steward of these skills and he has expectations i have to meet them so if your understands this conversation as moshe is saying to our own what are you doing this is not a time for false humility i've had debate with dear and precious colleagues of mine from whom i've learned so much and are far greater tamiderkham with far better medos than me but you know they give their dvar torah they give their sheer they don't promote it necessarily widely they don't stream it they don't record it and post it online and you know we'll have a healthy back and forth with a healthy cynicism to it you know the fact that we stream and we promote in our torah hashem we're very honored and grateful it's out there so i said to him once you who are you to get up ever and give adrasha why should you stand in front of the seabor on a shabbos morning and give a drusha why are your thoughts and your formulations and your insights and your observations and your inspiration why should they be more authoritative than anyone else who's sitting and listening whatever degree of confidence you have that you have something to share and it's worth listening to and that you represent someone who's asked you to communicate it on his behalf so once you're doing that now you have a responsibility to share it as widely as you can to whatever degree that you feel you should share it at all you should share it as far and wide because it's not yours it's from hashem so this is very meaningful to me this insight of our viewer who our greatest leaders throughout our entire tanakh maybe they hesitate but they overcome that hesitation they say this is not a time or a place for humility you could be humble within your mission you could be humble within fulfilling or pursuing why you're here but in fact to think that it's humility to say let someone else speak let somebody else lead let somebody else have vision let somebody else that's not humility that is to deny the rebound shalom what do you put you here on this earth for me who else could have taken around their shoulders this responsibility the other sakadosham moshe aaron and so on and so forth and this is why we say the claw goddale and serving hashem the two are right in semen aleph and this is how we finish us it means be strong but aza's punim means something more what is azo's punim hutzpah you need a healthy dose of chutzpah i'm sitting up here i even have a camera and a microphone i'm streaming who am i and what am i i'm a garnished so what kind of fruits would you have what kind of chutney do i have sitting up here thinking so barak hashem i don't share any original thoughts so it's easy i have no i'm just collecting beautiful insights of other people and i share it with you and they are worth listening to which is why you listen but who is the chutzpah abram the start of jewish people moshe the chutzpa to climb a mountain and come back down with the torah walk into a mishkan and lead navoda what's the answer the tour begins the code of jewish law and it says wake up get out of bed and have some holy chutzpah holy christ when he spoke here a few shabbos ago united arsenal and their incredible work he talked about the origins of hatzala how he couldn't break in to get the frequency to follow the crisis he says we engage the greatest israeli invention that there is of all the israeli innovation he said i used the greatest israeli innovation there is it's called khutba that's how shocking begins wake up get out of bed and dig deep and find your holy chutzpah not your rude crude obnoxious chutzpah you could leave that in bed but wake up and get out of bed with the holy chutzpah as kanamere what kind of chutzpah are you going to have today what are you going to solve today you're going to saw you're going to build beaker hollam nicholas you're going to raise a billion dollars for helping those escape ukraine what kind of where's your holy you're gonna have the chutzpah to try to finish us where's your gonna come today review says that's what moshe was telling aaron aran says maybe someone else really not me i feel bad it looks like diego i'm sure you could find someone better moshe says hey brother wha what are you doing what is this conversation where's yo this is why you were chosen you're not you're not being more virtuous by declining you're being less virtuous because hashem put you here for this and he has this expectation of you now get to work wake up get out of bed show this holy chutzpah and get going and get go and that's review mayor bloch has a different insight peric test plastic zion and achieve atonement for yourself and for everyone else why does it say first what was the reason for this khattas if you look at the first you look at rashi you'll see that rashi says the reason that aaron inaugurated the mishkan with the karma khattas the sin offering was to achieve atonement for which sin so vehicles he should have brought that first he should have achieved his own atonement first caesarea mayor blach rashiva tells the great grandfather of my neighbor named elio mayer bahadur really should have been preparation for that day taking care of all of his private business so aaron should have said to moshe okay look you want me to do this no problem but i gotta get carpara first with the ego i gotta work it out with god i gotta reconcile i need a clean slate if i'm gonna get up and offer a corban khatas for everybody then i have to first begin by doing it for myself and the torah says no you're going to do it in front of everybody because you're going to be a role model and you're going to be an example and when you take responsibility and accountability when you model exactly what you're going to preach that will be the strongest the loudest the most effective communication that you have and he points out that all our bali muslim understood this when they would transmit their very musser the gidolai bali muslim were very careful that they would never ever give musser on something unless they were working or had worked on it first of all talks about one of the tamid of uh amsterdam he says he didn't give a lot of muslims but whenever he did he would get up he would first hold up a mirror to himself and he'd say i'm about to get up and lecture about patience or about anger or about greed or about stinginess or whatever topic he was gonna get up and lecture about he would first sit and examine himself and say am i qualified am i genuine whatever i'm about to preach about am i a vessel to preach about it or am i a hypocrite and i have no business talking about it and i have no business talking about it similar to valeolopian he would always learn muscle before he gave musser what he did right before he gave the muscle schmooze was learn muscle to do a self-check a self-awareness a self-awareness because i say yes in front of the people show them that you're practicing what you preach and in that way be the best role model that you can bear tests possibly moving right along turning the page so early in the pasture class 590 top of 590. moshe i had the wrong position back past evolve don't turn the vc i spoke too soon so motion said zadavar this is the thing you should do says he says the following moshe says hashem the thing that god commanded you tasudu and then god will appear to you then god will appear to you so in other words when you do what god wants then you'll feel his presence there are people who are neglecting and ignoring hashem left and right and they say you know if he'd speak to me if i felt his presence if i saw him if i was inspired then i would observe you got it wrong it's the wrong order you have it backwards if you start doing then you will feel and then you will see and then you will hear and then you will know don't wait to feel oh i see god i hear god god is communicating to me now i'm ready to invest in the relationship with him be all in the relationship with him and then you will start seeing him and then you will start feeling his presence wherever you go wherever you go says in this passage is the prescription hashem this is what god said tasu do it try it this was his insight all of his campaigns for his army to go out and get people to start doing things the idea was go light candles you light candles friday night i don't have to start talking to you about is there evidence for god's existence is there god is there no god shabbos llama testament i don't talk about any of that all i need to get you to do is light candles because you know what's going to happen when you like candles then you're going to want to have a friday night dinner with a little kiddush and bless your children and once you're having fried nighttime you might as well not use any devices he understood light candles you'll want more it's filling put the filling on every day if you got your day every day started by putting on filling it's going to transform and change your day so his old insight was start doing and then you'll start seeing if you do ta'amuru kitab hashem taste and see start doing and you'll see that hashem is that he's there so that's what it says this is what hashem said hashem you know what god commanded you tasu go do go do and when you do you know what's going to happen god will appear to you you'll start seeing him everywhere light the candles put on that villain open the safer come to minion start doing a little bit more and when you do more you will see him more all around you beautiful insight gimbal so we have this inauguration around brings these carbons the great fire came down it consumed everything wow incredible amazing blown away oh and the fire comes down consumes them and they die and they die moshe turns to aaron what do you say you're the younger brother who has to console his older brother who had four sons and lost two of them and what should have been the happiest most triumphant most celebratory day of his life every year you write read parsha shmini if you're not moved if you don't feel for our own you don't feel aranakoin opening day arunachala to a degree the older brother of moshe was in a shadow who now is going to have the spotlight he doesn't want it but now he's gonna have the spotlight it should be the happiest day it's a packed audience and they're there for opening day at the mishkan and this is gonna be the place in which they can feel the divine presence and see ten daily miracles and aaron's gonna throw out the first pitch and what happens instead of being the most joyous day the greatest celebration the happiest day of his life tragically two sons die unimaginable imagine somebody on the day they're making their child's wedding the biggest semba the day of their wedding and their parents die in a car crash on the way to the wedding children something tragic happens and they're struck dead how do you go on how do you understand how do you have faith and how do you believe which should be the happiest day and now moshe has done an unavailable job of turning to his brother and he's supposed to communicate some message he's supposed to get something across them what's he supposed to say to him so moshe turns to him and he says moshe turns to me says in the name of hashem i will be sanctified through those that are nearest me and i will be honored therefore by the entire people we've discussed in the past we're not going to this year how to decipher what's moshe's message what does moses meant moshe didn't just say some frivolous thing because it was awkward silence so he filled the space with something there was a message how do you decipher it bikravai with those closest to me ekadesh now the men of you were closest then how did they do something so wrong that deserved a death penalty capital crime on the holiest day god couldn't wait to kill them the next day finish the celebration god couldn't wait a week or a month it had to be on that day so whatever they did was so egregious it had to be on that day and yet bikravai moshe is describing them as they are they are the greatest they are the closest to him how are they the closest to him and how did they get sanctified where's the kid of hashem here and for the entire people but whatever he says to moshe to aaron you have to decipher what that is what's aaron's reaction what's aaron's response our own is silent now this is the most haunting silence in the torah because we don't know what's going through arun's head is the silence a rebellious silence he has nothing to say to god is the silence an obedient silence that he's willing to accept and surrender to whatever hashem has for him is this a silent silence or a protest silence what is the nature of the silence we will never know we will never know but it's a spiral it's the silence that speaks volumes it's an incredible silence of dom aron the alcatramoni the measure says he was quiet and he was rewarded for his quiet revolver the great mashiach revolver he says you might think that silence is the absence of speech you might think silence is because someone has nothing to say so when is someone silent when they're too tired to talk the morning after purim there was a lot of silence who has that you lose your voice you're exhausted you can barely breathe so you're too quiet so the silence is not a statement the silence is a symbol of exhaustion says revolba silence is sometimes because you have nothing to say and sometimes silence is a form of speaking sometimes someone says something with their silence sometimes you say the loudest that's the past that's the passage what does that mean silence to you silence to you is praise elsewhere he says my soul waits in silence only for hashem from him comes my salvation dumiyah vaidom it's the same word so revolvers revolve be quiet i'm talking that's quiet that means you stop speaking so i can speak this wasn't aaron wasn't bishak yet and he wasn't as shatak this is different quiet is a quiet because someone else is speaking silence vayidom is a form of speech and that's what says silence [Music] silence to you is praise silence is not what happens when we're catching our breath between speaking silence itself can be a form of crying out of calling out silence is not just the absence of words sometimes more can be said with silence that can be ever be articulated with words they were talking to someone a difficult conversation you ever have to apologize to someone for something you did wrong and they're quiet and what do you say to them please say something just say something what are you thinking right please say something why do you want the other person say something because they're speaking so loudly with their silence that it's piercing your heart the rambam quotes a reading of the targum that translates that our own praised hashem what do you mean he praised hashem he did nothing it was passive he was a spectator he did nothing how could that how could silence be a form of praising hashem so sometimes silence silence sometimes silence is a form of trilo it's a form of prayer you know when else silence speaks volumes when you pay a shiva call we learn from iov when you're not allowed to speak until when until the evil speaks first the over the mourner has to initiate the conversation if you walk into that shiva call and you sit and they say nothing you could sit for 20 minutes half an hour 40 minutes just sit silently and then what you left the shiver call and you said nothing you left a shiver call and you spoke the most because you were willing to sit silently and the willingness to sit silently that's not easy we live with this notion of awkward silence you could look in a restaurant there's two tables one couple's been married 50 years and the other is on their second date the couple on their second date can't bear silence so they each come in already with like a checklist of topics like if there's a moment go to the next question you all know the famous joke do you have a brother do you like luxian if you had a brother would he like luxury you all know the famous show so everybody goes in with their famous but they listen why because the young couple who are courting awkwardly sipping their diet coke on their update so they the silence would kill them they need to fill the air with conversation the couple who's been married they talk when there's something to say and when they're willing and able to simply be present and together without anything being said that is the greatest statement of love what an affirmation what a loud statement of love and comfort that can sit together without needing to talk is that incredible could simply be without needing to fill the air in the space with talk with conversation so the point is don't think that all silences are created equal there's a silence there's a space of catching your breath between speaking there's a silence because it's not your turn to speak and there's a silence which is a statement and that's why the word here is he writes he says you know we teach a child to speak child speaks and everybody gets so excited everybody gets so excited during corona when my children and uh grandson at the time and then grandchildren lived with us for a while so i was really i'm not competitive at all but i was trying to get my son to say zeda to be his first word my grandson so i would all day i would say to him zay da and when he finally started speaking my name was da so everyone else around me got the last laugh i wanted to the first word the that's my name duh so rava says we get so excited we teach a child right they could say a letter they say their first word they string together a sentence it's incredible we get so excited we teach them to speak and we show them excitement when they start to speak but do we ever teach them to stop speaking do we show them excitement by the skill of being silent do we teach them okay good now that you learned how to speak now let me teach you how to be silent now let me teach you the value of silence now let me teach you that silence is also an expression and silence is also a tool and silence is also a form of communication says the time to speak there's a time to be quiet it's a time to be quiet i'll tell you you know one of my favorites foreign don't just learn how to speak you never learn when you're speaking you could teach a lot when you're speaking but you're not learning anything while you're speaking when do you learn when you're silent when you're quiet so he writes the following listen to this the author of ben ahmed singh zaks was the son-in-law of frank the chief rabbi yusuf he grew up in the israel of yerushalayim and then he became a great love in chicago so hannah sachs the schools in chicago are named he says when i was a child there was a jew lived in ushalayim and his nickname was rav david the quiet one he excelled he was extraordinary in his ability to be quiet he was so still it was very hard to get his lips to move he rarely ever spoke so they once asked them david where do you have the inner strength where do you have the inner fortitude everybody wants to speak they want to react they want to share they want to teach they want to weigh in they want to opine where do you have the inner strength and the inner fortitude to stay quiet all the time barramundi shiva he answered he said the truth is you're right sometimes when i'm tired from being quiet i talk a little in order to get back my energy and strength and then i go back to being quiet it's a great answer right he says also excelled at this he excelled at the capacity to be quiet to live with silence you know you have a committee or you have a group of people in a room or you have a shabbos table usually the smartest or wisest person in the room speaks the least you have to go what do you think about this you have to invite them and pull out of them to weigh in the smartest person doesn't need to impose their thoughts on everybody else and monopolize the conversation and speak a lot striker the word vayidom teaches why doesn't it say he was he was sheket he was bestika we have other words for quiet silent why don't we use one of those other words why do we use the word vayidom so franco says from the word vaidham we see that aaron had something to say but he chose not to say it who kavash he conquered himself he held back you know not everything you say not everything you think you have to say and he got reward you know when there are no words when there are no words and when there's nothing to say you don't deserve to be rewarded for being quiet there are no words and there's nothing to say so big deal that you're quiet but when you have something to say and you still hold back and don't say it that's what deserves a reward because that is even more impressive moving right along page 596 596. [Applause] today you brought the sin offering and the elevation offering now that such things before me were right to eat this day sin offering what hashem approved moshe what's going on over here it's a fascinating section there's a debate between moshe and iron about there's a debate between motion iron iron has a status of an o name and one is somebody in between death and burial who's not only exempt from mitzvos they are forbidden from doing mitzvos rashidoso is exactly why the beginning of the second paragraph of boycott and third-party cotton but ultimately hashem says i took someone so precious irreplaceable from you i don't expect you to feel closer to love me right now you focus on their burial you focus on grieving and mourning you focus on honoring them and today the halacha is that and oneen is exempt from mitzvos and it is more than exempt and onan is forbidden from doing mitzvos it's a very difficult thing a person had spent their whole life making broncos and davening to put food in your mouth without making a barakah to finish eating in that bench to start your day and not fill in or say chakras to be an o name it's enormous so people always ask i tell them you're exempt you're not allowed so but can i volunteer the answer is no you're forbidden from doing this as a no-name so the question was how far this prohibition of being an onage stretched because here an onan is not allowed to eat carbonus but hashem tells our own and his children his surviving children that you are the exception to that rule and even though an own is not meant to partake of sacrifices you're an exception so how far does the exception to the rule stretch that was a debate between moshe and aaron without getting into the details of it and ultimately who's right arun and how does moshe react to his older brother being right vaishma moshe moshe and it was good in his eyes he approved says rasheed what does it mean he heard and he approved hoda shamati he says he admitted and he wasn't embarrassed to say lo shamati that i didn't hear it wasn't embarrassed to say i didn't hear what's going on over here what's going on over here so i'll show you an incredible insight from verblade chasman levenshtein says the following moshe was angry at his brother and the sons that they weren't eating the bastard khattas of the sorry of rashford because even though they were owner named moshe felt that there was an exemption aaron answered and he said the exemption only goes this far it doesn't include this they had all debate about it and then moshe ultimately says says you know taki you're right i forgot i did know i was taught by hashem the prophet i was arguing and advocating for the wrong thing i admit i concede you're right and i did know sarkalav and mahadasha the torah here prayed by ishmael and rashford says wow moshe is amazing he admitted he conceded he wasn't embarrassed and he said you are right and i'm wrong and you're right i even knew it and i remembered and i forgot so levenstein they wonder uh yeah moshe is the greatest human being who ever lived moshe is rabbenu so okay so he admitted he was wrong what else would you expect him to do moshe is not some impetuous impetuous child who's going to stubbornly maintain his position even after he knows he's wrong there are people who never want to admit they're wrong there are people who never ever want to admit they're wrong so they just start to change the whole circumstance or they replay and they reinvent um the way things happened or what i because they never want to admit they're wrong but moshe is a great human being the greatest human being who ever lived so what's the kirish that moshe admitted he was wrong and didn't stubbornly continue to maintain the wrong position what's so special about that is it is [Music] why didn't moshe go into israel you'll see where i'm going with this in a second why didn't moshe go into israel he hit the rock instead of speaking to it was that a big deal what's the answer for me and you it wouldn't be a big deal when you're moshe abbay when you're at that level that you can be so exacting and all that you do you're held to a higher standard and therefore moshe is held accountable even for something so seemingly insignificant because of how great he is he's held to a high standard so say replacement because levenstein if you're going to hold motion at such a high standard for a little thing to criticize then even for what seems to be a little thing you have to praise the fact that moshe was mod ms he deserves the praise even though it seems like a small thing he deserves that praise because he's mo dolla ms i'll tell you a different shot my shot is the reason he deserves the praise this is it's not my shot says he says he didn't say well you're right and i'm wrong but how could i have known i was never taught he admitted not only i'm wrong but he even admitted with then i'm wrong and i knew and i forgot i'm human and i forgot so margula before going used to always saying taking a tremendous risk by saying i knew and i forgot what was the risk he was taking we would all learn this and you know what we might say moshe got that wrong what else did he get wrong maybe we undermined the authenticity of the whole transmission of torah because when we study and we recognize moshe says i got that wrong we think to ourselves well he got that wrong what else did he get wrong maybe i'm not bound by torah maybe he made this all up maybe it all got distorted maybe moshe abano got it all wrong so mosh rabina took that into the cheshbon and he still admitted it you know why he had such a fidelity and loyalty to truth he was an ish ms moshe ms with sarasota so even though here's the kirish moshe could have indulged the yetzahara to nafi moda allah ms for a noble reason moshe could have said look i'm wrong here and and i should admit that i knew and i forgot but if i do that i risk compromising the whole transmission of torah so really for hashem's sake i'm not going to admit i'm wrong or really for the torah's sake i'll admit i'm wrong but i'm going to say i never knew it moshe had a yet sahara a legitimate yetzahara he could have had a noble yet sahara that would have easily rationalized and justified his not admitting that he knew and forgot and yet despite that and with that says he's mod ms we hope and we aspire to reach that level in fact we dive in for it every day when do we dive in for it every day every morning model may we be capable about being modded because a person who lives life and they can't admit the truth they always have to be right they always manipulate and distort everything to fit into their view to defend themselves to rationalize and justify such a person is living a total counterfeit life a life of lies so we dive in every morning may we have the inner strength may we have the strength of character like moshe rabbenu to be mod and that's my answer is that you know why the torah praises moshe for something that should be so obvious for him because there's such a yet sahara to not do this that even moshe rabbena deserves that praise says he had a noble reason to justify not being modal ms and yet he was the ability our marriage is not made up of the ability to admit you're wrong i'm not going to make a joke right now i'm tempted i'm tempted but i'm not going to marriage healthy marriage is the capacity to admit you're wrong i would say the best parents can inspire their children the most when they could say to their child i was wrong let me model for you saying i'm sorry let me model for you admitting i was wrong about something let me model for you how i handle when i didn't do something to the best of my ability when i wasn't my best self so all relationships and the pursuit of becoming our best selves are predicated on this quality of being modal ms it's why we dive in for it every morning and it's why moshe rabena deserves praise even for something that seemingly should be obvious for for him for a foreigner the targa myanasana targaryen son translates his words vayishma mosha vayitav bainav heard and it was good in his eyes so what they had a private conversation they were in moshe's study the door hermetically sealed no camera no microphone no one heard and in that context in the privacy of just the two of them moshe said i was wrong and you're right i admit targum yoshami says no you know what happened moshe goes and he grabs the microphone the loudspeaker that are going into all the tents throughout the entire camp to two to three million people opi cruza a cruise is an announcement he sent out a mass email a constant contact email and you know what it said the constitution said hi everyone i'm the one who forgot the halacha but my brother are on his kiro so he reminded me okay it was a private conversation when moshe told aron that you should eat this carbon and aaron said you're wrong you forgot the my brother i'm so sorry you're wrong and moshe says you're right i did forget why do you have to send out an email why do you have to broadcast the phone tree why do you have to take out a tv ad to tell the whole camp to tell the whole claw you saw i was wrong of liquid he says moshe wrote sorry he was demonstrating the ability we talked about leadership before can you imagine the leader who looks in the microphone and said you know i was wrong maybe i did the best with the information i had at the time but it was the wrong decision and i take responsibility and accountability for the consequences i was wrong who was the leader who showed that ability showel didn't show failed we recently just read that says i made no mistake i was right he refused to admit he was wrong and he lost his monarchy says i was wrong with batsheva why did david even earn the monarchy to begin with he descends from whom from yehudah what did you who to say sadkamimani yehuda has this conflict with tamar tamar says look i'm not going to embarrass anyone in public i'm just going to say whoever's wallet and pen this is and keys is this is the father of my baby i'm not saying who it is they know who they are you want to put me burn me in the fire alive i'll give me the punishment because i'm not going to embarrass anybody but that's that's them are the facts and what is he who to say in that moment he could have said burner at the stake nobody will ever know what does he say sud coming many and god says wow the ability to publicly say i'm wrong guess what your children and grandchildren and progeny that follow you'll be the leaders because that's what leadership needs leadership needs to have the capacity for shame not shamelessness leadership has to have the ability to say i was wrong and i'm sorry not i'm always right and i'm infallible and never wrong and that's what our tanakh is filled of of holy leaders and individuals who demonstrate and here's yet one more example this is everyone knows the dividend everyone knows you and tamar and david this is not one of the well-known ones people don't talk about this one but moshe rabbenu is saying not only he says arun you're right and i'm wrong but i'm not just going to tell it to you privately here in the office i'm sending out a telegram to the whole jewish people because i want to model for them what it looks like the ability to say i'm wrong i want to show them that it doesn't make me less great it makes me greater it doesn't diminish it enhances it enhances and it uplifts okay let's move over to some cashews finish up with oh oh my goodness we have to have the shoe like a casino no clock you have no idea what time it is you have no idea what we're up to hey one more piece casserous okay the end of the pressure is beautiful laws of cautious i'll tell you one one void on the casters so much to talk about why is kashua's a hoax is there a reason why does castro's have to do with this kadhishtandhi some kadoshim how is it we become holy through kasras does kashus necessarily make us holy and how does it make us holy in what way makes us holy there's a lot to talk about with this but i'll just tell you the time of the baillio the gemara and yuma sorry not to bail you the time the gemara numa deflamma test quotes we make a mistake when we cross a line we violate the word and will of hashem it's alive it compromises and contaminates the heart possible i'll take revenge vinnie temptem don't read it it makes them you become impure read it vini tamtam you become contaminated what does that mean so the ramban famously here talks about that kashrus when you consume non-kosher it's mithamtam es halev what does it mean eating naan koshers matam non-koshers that's why we have to be strict and careful that even children who are not yet warned or cautioned to follow the rules of torah are never exposed or consumed non-kosher i they didn't do sama vera by eating non-kosher they don't even have consciousness they're not making willful choices they're not benedas so how could it be that we have to protect a child from eating nanko so the answer is the answer is if you have a little baby who's allergic to peanuts and you feed them a peanut does the peanut or the allergic reaction care alert peanuts don't care about your feelings to put it differently they don't care whether you did it on purpose whether you're aware of it whether you're conscious of it there's an automatic scientific reaction if you're allergic to peanuts and a peanuts you will have an allergic reaction to peanuts whether you did it consciously willfully intentionally or not and the ramban says that kosher and non-kosher have that same have that same impact have that same effect on us he says this is not a metaphysical description or a metaphysical reality this is a physical reality if we consume something spiritually and pure we become physically impure it has an impact on us but differently we talk about you are what you eat you are what you eat spiritually in fact that's what ramban understands which birds are non-kosher birds fowl of prey that eat their prey they're cruel they are they're cruel birds that claw and rip apart and murder carnivores because if we we are what we eat if we consume them we also consume their personality and their attitude and that's why it's so careful so important to be careful with what we eat that's why tomorrow is to specifically nurse from a jewish woman shall call me they passed moshe in front of all of the egyptian [Music] what are they called nurse maids web nurses and moshe refuse to drink from any of them omar pesha also a mouth that's going to speak to god is going to is going to absorb is going to eat he's going to nurse from something someone impure some moisture they have to find they have to find someone for mushroom you see so i'll share this with you only because i got to crash this question the other day somebody emailed me akasha's question they had made a product on their power of frying pan that after they looked at it said okay d so they said i'm sure it's just dairy equipment right it's not really dairy it didn't turn my power of my power of cooking utensil dairy right i said i don't know you got to contact the okay and find out if there are in fact dairy ingredients so the person the okay got back and said there are dairy ingredients inside uh sorry there are not necessarily ingredients but the product is fried in dairy oil so as far as the usda or whatever agency is concerned the oil is filtered so it doesn't have actual particles of dairy but in kasras something fried in oil gives it that status and it might have it so i said well now you need to know whether the shisha and the person was like well i'm sure there is so i said to him the following i said if you were allergic to dairy and the dairy could kill you would you be satisfied with i'm sure there is or would you investigate further that's a simple question if you would risk your life with that i'm sure there is then go for it assume they're shisha but if you'd investigate further if your life were on the line then you should investigate further because your spiritual life is on the line and that's the way that we're meant to see kasras we can't be flexible and we shouldn't be liberal shouldn't be relaxed but a person has to have the attitude that if we absorb we imbibe if we eat non-kosher it's alive it is a spiritual poison with spiritual ramifications that spiritually compromises and corrupts and spiritually kills us spiritually takes time off our life and that's the attitude and the vigilance we should have to have to castras there was a lot more i saved there was a couple ish tamid from last year that i didn't get to that i saved for this year and i really wanted to save it because you need to refuse you know reply wants to speak about him had a heart attack after the climb was nifter so he was just in the hospital i don't know if he's out yet he had to have a procedure so i wanted to learn from his time and she's next week