Parsha Perspectives for Today (Ki Seitzei)

good morning welcome back to partial perspectives for today our weekly study of the parsha trying to extract contemporary lessons ideas for the parsha to be the filter through which we examine and explore the world in which we live today i want to thank our generous sponsors for the year uh becky and avikatsu friends and family in memory of david grossman becky's father nishmas david ben and menachem thank you so much for your generosity and sponsorship this morning shir is also sponsored in this host of shoshone basalisa to find her should have speedily please god she'll be dancing at her wedding bikarov in the near future if you'd like to sponsor a future share please go on brsonline.org sponsor brsonline.org sponsor also every week our partial perspective somebody puts together beautiful notes slides which if you subscribe to our newsletter you will get both the sheer and the slides you can print them out take them to your shabbos table and the div tour you're about to hear you can be reminded of clear notes which will help you be able to communicate and share with others you can sign up for the newsletter at rabbiafromgoldberg.org we are privileged this morning to learn parshas kiseitse page 1046 in the art scroll stone hummish we continue with a the mishna torah a repetition of many of the laws that we saw and we've learned earlier in the words of moshe rabbenu on his last day of his life as he's giving a charge to the jewish people and you will god will deliver in your hand and you will take captives you'll be successful in triumphant and you'll collect the spoils which will include people are you going to capture a beautiful woman among the captivity will be a woman who's beautiful you'll desire her you'll long for her and you'll take her for you as a wife and you bring her into your home you shave her head and you allow her nails to grow and you remove the garment of her captivity she sits in your house she cries for her parents these are what are known as the laws of eu faster we've discussed it as of many in the past at length a concession to the frailty to the reality of who we are lo dibra torah ella can negotiate sahara the torah speaks to the reality of who we are not who it wishes we were torah is not a utopian document it doesn't describe a utopian world it speaks to the reality of the world in which we live which makes it unusual as a religious document in that sense so we begin with an insight over of druk and his talmud and he wonders about this pasak he says tilly islam why does it say when you go out what relevance is it the whole law of ivastawa is telling us a law of when you are at war so why not just begin and tell us when you're fighting when you're battling when you confront your enemy when you fight when you confront your enemy why do we have to begin ki say say when you go out moreover he continues why does it say oi as if this is an enemy who's well known that you know this enemy says it should have said when you go out to any war against any enemy this sounds like a definitive enemy first of all he said say why not just begin when you're fighting why does it say your enemy some specific distinct enemy just say oh yeah whatever enemy it might be thirdly the third question why does it save in us when hashem delivers into your hand and you take captive what does one thing have to do with the other i could have said when you go out and you take a captive and it turns out she's beautiful why is the tanay why is the condition when you take that captive first it has to be places in your hand and lastly a dictionary says underneath the word underneath it is a well-known word is a specific war it is a predictable word is an anticipated war what war are we talking about what war is the parsha is the torah describing so if joke describes as so many have we can recall this in countless names clearly it's something true in fact some say in today's day and age when we don't have these laws applying in the specific way in which they're communicated then the drush that second additional layer becomes almost upshot the primary level layer so what you can say when it comes to all this you saw that varam it says biswara makadoshan that the torah is not talking about simply a war with a physical material enemy torah's talking about the war and what is the war that we all face we all confront the eight sahara aims iraq this is not a physical war that we're going to fight with a physical enemy torah is hinting to a specific war we travel where you know what the war is the war of the trader joe's corn trips or the cape cod potato chips the war is not continuing to eat even when we're full the war is getting enough sleep the war is not being sedentary but getting up and moving and being active and getting exercise the war is making it to mining on time and paying attention when we make brachiosaurus the war is holding back when we have some juicy gossip or slander we're desperate to share the war is the battle between our godly spirit and our animal impulse the war is the battle to be our best selves when there's so much temptation and desire and distraction when there is so much noise trying to set us and knock us off course and now we can answer each of these questions why does it say yes the answer is we are here to fight this battle it's not if you go to war it's ki say say when you go out you know when the war begins when the alarm clock goes off even before your feet hit the ground in the morning there is a battle there is a struggle there is a war will i snooze how many times will i snooze will i make excuses to show up late or come all together to skip minion what will be even before the alarm goes off we are in a battle so not if you go to war but ki said say when we go to more when the neshama comes down to this world that is housed in the body and the soul and the body have different interests competing interests they're not always aligned so there is a battle the animal instruct instinct inside us says follow my impulse follow my drive follow my desire do what you want to do and the godly soul the godly spirit says no you're in control no you've got it together you don't have to give in that is a battle ki say say when you go out meaning when you come to life you will be in a battle and now we can understand this is a battle that goes with us throughout our length of days throughout our life and that's what it means torah speaking of every person yes this is such a critically important point says it doesn't say al-ha-o when you go to battle when you fight a war with the enemy what does it say with your enemy because my enemy is different than your enemy my temptation my distraction my kryptonite what i have to fight to overcome each of us come from a different background each of us have different personalities each of us have different strengths and different weaknesses and therefore each of us are facing different battles each of us has our own battle that others likely know nothing about it's in our head it's in our lives it's in our daily struggle some are visible some we can team up some we are collective fights that we share universally but many are very very personal battles battles that others don't know in our marriage with our children with our physical well-being we are battling with our spiritual with our mental health with our sense of self-confidence people have no idea so it says your enemy not simply generically allah the enemy and moreover the torah adds what is the nature of this battle can you finish it can you fight the enemy and conclude the war does it ever end when god puts the enemy in your hand when you feel triumphant and victorious when you think you've won you need to know this is an ongoing battle do you know how long this battle will last maybe different battles but do you know how long the war will go from the moment you're born till the day you die as long as we are here on this earth as long as we are blessed to be alive we are battling the battle may change the battlefield may change what goes into conquer territory and what remains on the battlefield may change however it is an ongoing battle an absolute ongoing battle because to be alive is to be battling is to be struggling is to be confronting maybe we form better habits maybe we make better choices maybe we have better patterns in our life but we're always battling always battling and not only are we always battling and that's why it says even after biadecha you won this battle but there'll be another one the war continues i remember once dealing with someone and i learned something from a therapist a therapist who was treating the person and i was simply consulting playing a complimentary role and i learned something from the therapist this individual had had repeated a previous mistake they've made previous poor behavior poor decision making sabotaged not only his own success but potentially his whole marriage and he thought that he had conquered the issue when he had confronted it many years before and the therapist said you need to understand that this is a battle that you will never win ever this is ongoing you will never conquer you're always going to have to treat and the moment that you think you've moved it into conquered territory you're in trouble because it will rear its ugly head again we have to know that it's ongoing never conquered never complete but it's a battle that needs to be managed never won it's managed but it's never fully won number two says ophinos of nearly ashave you can answer it differently say and what does it mean don't wait for the atahara to come to you take the initiative declare the war go out and battle it for first on its territory before it comes in and tries to conquer yours and that's why it says ki say don't wait for it to come here when you go out to war don't be a defensive posture don't be having to repair the damage that's already been done but key states say identify where are the pitfalls what are the problems how will i go out how will i conquer in fact the elo series for brs this year we have these four areas of life how we eat getting enough sleep are we breathing and movement and exercise not just being sedentary not just being still the next four tuesday nights rabbi moscowitz many of the rabbis at brs and i are giving these classes on these four different areas and you can sign up for a whatsapp group to be challenged and to grow to get khizek each day of ello in these 40 days less than 40 days now as we're counting down to rosh hashanah to grow in these four areas kiset say we are going out don't wait for the battle to come to you go take initiative and go identify what do i need to improve fight it and battle it and try to make it try to make it better a person is going to have two wives when they love when they hate you're going to have children what's the law of the banner is believes in a hierarchy a birth order and the responsibility that comes with it that's why we the jewish people ourselves are considered bini israel that on the one hand we're described bani matam hashem we are god's children but on the other we're not his only children all of humanity are god's children but among the children we are the eldest bini bihari we are the oldest child what is the significance what is the role what is the responsibility of that oldest child the oldest child takes the place of the parent the oldest child bears the responsibility to care for the siblings to protect them to teach them to inspire them and therefore the oldest sibling needs to be prepared empowered with the resources and able to be able to do so there's a beautiful balaturum balturam in a very uh cute if you're allowed to call about tournament cute term says where do you see this hinted to in the pasak this is the last year we gave a series of shirum four or five or six parts about the halacha of wills not ethical wills and not last not the living will but wills how do we bequeath our property our assets our estate to our children and how do we either employ or legally circumvent these rules that the oldest son gets a double portion which the post can say today and you can go back and listen and see those source sheets the posts can today say we do not follow if you give the oldest child the oldest son not a child it's the oldest son a double portion you will alienate and create great resentment and strife among the children it's a bad idea so how do you get out of it how do we get out of giving the oldest son a double portion how do we get out of only bequeathing to the sons and not to the daughters there are halachahs that speak to it all but where do you see in the passage where do you see in the word bakur itself and allusions of the baloterov says because it gets a double portion the whole word the whole word that means the eldest is all double bays fula alaf the letter bays is double two is double the one the aleph the ud the letter huff is twenty is double the ten that comes before and reish is full allah the raish 200 is double the kuf the 100 that comes before it so it says the bellator a very cute comment that the word bachor itself includes an illusion of reference to the idea that the eldest child gets a double portion base is double aleph huff is double ud and rash is double kuf the bahar gets a double portion so that they are empowered to be able to help the other to be able to help their siblings and to protect them okay moving right along here it's filled with a litany of laws a repetition of all we've seen before but a beautiful repetition of these laws we've seen again this at length as well what happens when a rebellious a wayward child is born who is unwilling to listen rejects all the messages of the father the mother the israel is they discipline him but he doesn't listen he does not change he's not conditioned by the discipline the so the father and mother grab him take him out to the elders and they say benedict this child he's rebellious he won't listen to our voice he's zolail a glutton this survey and a drunkard we'll mention this when we do my section i think it's next tuesday night on how to eat properly you see that part of what brings down the benso or motor this rebellious child who has no future the rebellious child who has to be eliminated from the jewish people is zolaillavusov gluttonous has no boundaries in eating and drinking has no borders just indulges in every appetite in every appetite of food and of drink and all the men throw stones in them and kill them and you remove this evil from your city and there's so many questions we've studied this in the past as well the ben sora um our rabbis teach us the criteria to be able to qualify this never existed there never was there never will be a ben soro umura why is it included in the torah in order to for us to study and to teach and to promote torah values so what are those total values what lessons can we extract about parenting and about jewish education he never existed the ben ben sora or mora but what can we learn i've shared before one of my good friend's father once told me he was a jewish educator and left jewish education maybe that inspired this insight or this var torah but he said read the pasta differently this is just a joke this is not obviously meant to be taken seriously but really if you have a child who's rebellious but the teacher doesn't listen the teacher's not obedient the teacher doesn't follow what do you do you grab the teacher and you say bene nu zest so rare our child is rebellious but the teacher the administrator the principal at his school they won't listen salve the teacher it's all the teacher's fault you take the teacher out and you stone him once upon a time parent teacher conference night the children would sitter the children were nervous what the parents were going to hear now parent-teacher knight the teacher sitter it's the teachers who are nervous the parents are going to come take the children's side and beat them up it's a mistake we want our children to do well partner and respect and listen and embrace it doesn't mean every teacher is perfect but it means the teachers are our partners so don't read it but realize it's the banana zest that is what goes together so teach our rabbis teach that the criteria to qualify for this label what do you earn being a ben soda or mo rare is um is this the sukkam delineate who it is and we have this impression that this child is evil that this child is wicked this child is malevolent but that's not how it started the story of the bensour of the story of this rebellious child began not with rebellion but with boredom with indifference rashi tells us that the word so rare comes from the word sar he started out by drifting from the path no one was engaging him or her he or her their mind was wandering they weren't allowed or invited to ask their questions they were being shut down and stifled so they were bored they were bored they weren't being defiant or seditious as much as they were being uninspired and apathetic and when they checked out and when no one noticed they checked out is how it all began they were so rare they were sorry they were drifting from the path they were disappearing they were pulling back and when no one responded when no one noticed when no one engaged they didn't just become so rare they didn't just sour they didn't just drift they also became more rebellious and they became defiant enemies because they refused to listen the parents are speaking but they're not listening but if gifters that saw points out the puzzle doesn't say a nano show me a bid de varenu it doesn't say the parents don't come and proclaim he or she are not listening to our words it says to what kolenu our voice now for the bensour omota the parents are just jumbled sounds they're not articulate words they're not compelling they're not persuasive they're not changing all they hear is blah blah blah blah blah they say wake up for dharvani and he hears blah blah blah but it's even worse says a new show because doesn't say a no shomaya he doesn't here it says says what's the difference between a nano and a no a nano means he can't there's a blockage there's a barrier it's not that he chooses not to listen it's that he can't listen the message is prevented from penetrating why what's causing that breakdown this child who started with boredom and apathy and then moved to rebelliousness because the parent's voice is not penetrating why why isn't it penetrating so the torah says that inaudible you can't hear the voice of the father and the voice of the mother the torah never wastes the word and yet it says and called ima why doesn't it just say kol aviv vimo can shorten it could contract it could be more concise so some suggest the answer is because there's a second coal it's not redundant or extraneous there's a separate coal the father and the mother are not on the same page there's a mixed message being said there's what they say and what they do and they're each saying separate things and when there's a mixed message when different messages are being sent then the child's unable to hear we have to have a unified and a united message a compelling message a message that we are living and behaving a message that we are carrying with our actions as much with our words if we want our child not to be sorry not to grow bored or apathetic not to drift from the dare but to stay on a lot more to say you can listen to past years when we talked more insights into the ben sore umura but continuing you cannot see the danker of your brother your ox falling on the road and hide you can't see that there's someone with a flat tire you can't say that someone is struggling or stumbling whose car ran out of gas or battery broke down you cannot see somebody who needs to be jump-started and you're going to keep walking you're not going to help you're not going to intervene or interfere or help you cannot the salam to mayhem don't close your eyes don't look away don't bury your face stand up with them help them up help them hakeem emo so they were falling they were falling you have an obligation to help them but how do you have to help them how do you have to help them so look at rashi rashi says hakeem zutino this means loading loading what had fallen off the donkey emo you have to help the person recover with their own help with their own initiative so what happens what happens somebody's donkey is collapsing under the weight under the load somebody's dunking is collapsing and you come over to help them and you say i'm here let me help you and they say oh but you have a mitzvah you have a mitzvah to lift up my donkey now you do the mitzvah i'm going to get a shawarma you do the mitzvah i'm going to have a cup of coffee on the side of the road and watch you do all the work says rashid the word is emo you have to help with him if he doesn't want to help himself you are not obligated to help him this is a comment not only on the specific halacha of hakeem taking imo of your obligation to help him maybe one can extrapolate public policy public health policy do you have to help the people not helping themselves do others have to inconvenience themselves or make themselves uncomfortable or go to extreme measures when the people who could be taking advantage of miraculous ways we can help ourselves are refusing to what is the halacha do we have to protect people who refuse to protect themselves or if somebody's not emo they're not doing what they need to do to protect themselves then maybe we're not obligated to protect them perhaps from our past and this rashi one can extrapolate extrapolate public policy ramosha salavichik zaksal ramoshik saladachik said you see from here a very powerful lesson means not only the law of somebody who has a broken down car the law of somebody who's collapsing who if they're not trying to help themselves the cliaker says on this possible by the way the klyaker says you see this when it comes to the laws of stukka somebody who doesn't try to get a job somebody who doesn't try to support themselves they're going to go knock on door to door and they're going to collect stakka and they're going to say look i'm noflim bader i'm falling i'm collapsing i need you hakeem takimimo i need you to help lift me up write the check pay my bill take care of my family no it says the clucker you see the word is emo it's only the person who's trying to help themself we help someone who's helping themselves we inconvenience ourselves we sacrifice our own resources we invest in someone who's helping themselves but if they refuse to help themselves and they put it all on not someone who's incapable somebody who is debilitated somebody who's incapable from helping themselves because of circumstances that are not their fault of course we have to help them but somebody who's able to help themselves and chooses not to they're not looking for a job they're not earning their wage they're not doing what they can they simply want to live off of others says the kriyaka such an individual you are exempt pasak says emo we're only obligated or responsible with them emo so it says what do you see from here the same is true when it comes to the ribonus shalolum we want hashem to help us it's that time of year it's hello we're getting ready for rosh hashanah hashem sign and scribes seal me for a year of good health and parnassa give me nachas for my children give me shalom by his peace in my home god allah i want all the blessings so god says i'll help you emo if you're helping yourself and that's that of moshe sullivan because the is the that's how we can understand the passage we've begun saying zain of tehillah we've begun signing capital 27. and we say we have a double language one thing i ask from god oh saw a vacation that one thing i want so what does it mean i want one thing oh sawabakesh that one thing i want i ask for it's redundant it sounds like we're simply repeating ourselves i'm asking for one thing the one thing about the one thing is what i'm asking so how do you understand that so the answer is that whatever media who acts with us we are to give us on everything will not help us if we don't help ourselves if we don't help ourselves so that's the shots that are motivated i have one question and one question i want to sit in hashem's house all the days of my life but when will hashem help me if oso avakesh if that's what i'm working on if that's what i'm trying if that's the effort i'm making so i can't not work on my inspiration and then say hashem with your magic wand and have me wake up tomorrow inspired what am i doing to inspire myself hashem will help contribute to my inspiration if i take those first steps to inspire myself and i will show that i'm doing it because doesn't just mean it's what i'm asking for avakesh means my behavior my choices my lifestyle reflect that i'm a vakish i'm searching i'm yearning i'm working towards living that life so hakeem take emo just like our parasha as allah when a person is collapsing when their donkey or their car are breaking down we have to help them jump start revive get on the road again but only emo only if they're trying to help themselves cetera moshe salavechik the same applies spiritually this time of year hashem will help us he will lift us he will jumpstart us when we look like we're broken down on the side of the road but only if we help ourselves are you going to that extra shear are you coming a little early davening are you reading things that will challenge you and inspire you are you doing what you need to do in order to kick start to fan that flame that pilot light to become inspired if osa avakesh if we're making our effort in doing our part if we're taking our step then then we can ask hashem to help us as well paragraph gimbal possible continuing along the way many many laws we've gone through some of them in the past when you build a new home and you have to make a maca a fence on your on your roof which applies not only to your roof a railing it applies uh on your balcony it applies not to have anything dangerous in your home why does it say that you have to do this with the bais khadijah with the new house the is you're obligated even if it's a 50 year old home that you purchase and the proper railing and the proper roof fence are not up then you have to put them up now so why is it formulated in that way you could listen to previous years shirum we spoke about makkah specifically kalayam you're not allowed to mix things what is the significance of keeping species separate not trying to compete with god by creating a hybrid we have to stay in our lane and know the boundaries this applies not only to killiam to mixing the seeds of the field but also bashar bahamu you can't mix an axon a donkey nez you can't mix two different materials combining fibers wool and linen together with the exception of course sitsis say not for now so many so many laws adultery of defaming a married woman the laws goes on and on perhaps we're moving to torah tells us a very difficult set of laws individuals whom we're not allowed to marry we're not allowed to bring them or integrate them into the community and these individuals is very very difficult loyalty the person has certain physical deficiencies and this is the one that perhaps is the most difficult the most painful torah tells us i'm there who is the mom there i don't mean that you know the brother-in-law that you don't like or the uh or the the shul uh leader that you don't like or the person you did business with who you defame by calling a monster mom says the word that we use the most the greatest insult that we could have is to show and call somebody so of course that's not what a moms or means technically or halal a monster is the result of arias a forbidden relationship imam sir is not a woman and a man were not married if they didn't have proper hope of a condition they don't produce a moms there born out of wedlock is not a mamzer a mamasar is the result of one of the arayos so a man with a married woman would create mamzerus that's why if a couple get married with a proper halachic marriage but they do not get a get they do not get a kosher get to sever their marriage and then the woman remarries thinks that she's remarrying but really that's isis ish she remains a married woman that's why there's some people who say better not to do halachic weddings for non-observant if you're not confident that if the marriage would dissolve they would get a get you're doing a disservice you are potentially setting up and creating mom zerus because if you do a proper hope of the conducion and you're not confident that if they don't keep their marriage they'll get a get and she will remarry a child born of that second union would be a momser and a mom nebuchadnezzar can marry another moms or a mom serious but they cannot marry they cannot marry someone who's not a monster tragic it is the classic tragic why punish a child for something their parents did the child that's born from that prohibited union did nothing wrong they made no poor choice so why do they live with that label of being a monster why are they precluded from marrying into the people it's a tragic tragic circumstance tackles this question he writes contemporary rabbis are confronted with horrible problems social political cultural economic problems of the family of community of society in general consider the problem of mom zero the plight of the moms is very tragic the tragedy of the mishnah the medrash itself points out incoherence rabbi pereg dalid yet it remains a religious reality no one can change this reality neither i nor the chief rabbi of israel or the great rabbis outside of israel has its own orbit its own pattern of responding to a challenge its own criteria and principles my grandfather prime salvation used to try his best to relently in such cases but there were limits when you reach that limit all you can say is i surrender to the will of the almighty we cannot allow a married woman no matter how tragic the case to remarry without a get tamatore constitutes an act of surrender of kabbalah of accepting the yoke of mitzvos the word yoke suggests that qabal can sometimes be very uncomfortable requires sacrificial action of man but although it is a heavy yoke the kabbalah must still take place this was a speech that the rav gave in 1975 to the rca convention study of the torah is an ecstatic metaphysical performance the study of torah is an act of surrender that is why stress the importance of humility humility is necessary because the study of torah means meeting the almighty and if a finite being meets the infinite the almighty the maker of the world of course this meeting must precipitate a mood of humility and humility results in surrender what do we surrender to the almighty we surrender two things first we surrender the everyday logic or what we call immersed entire logic the logic of the businessman of the utilitarian person and we embrace another logic the logic of sinai second we surrender the everyday will which is very utilitarian and superficial and we embrace another will the will of sinai what is the person who studies torah we have to pursue the truth the truth in tal matara can only be achieved through singular thinking and understanding the truth is attained from within in accord with the methodology given by moshe and passed on from generation to generation it is ridiculous said thereof to say i have discovered and approached the interpretation of torah which is completely new which the raj but didn't know the student no the villain had no knowledge one must join the ranks of the sora and not try to rationalize from without such an attempt be it historicism be it psychologicism psychologism i don't know that word be it utilitarianism undermines the very foundations of torah and our tradition leading eventually to assimilation and nihilism no matter how worthy the original intention we must not feel inferior yielding to the charm of modern political and ideological trends not only may we not compromise we not even yield emotionally to feel inferior there's no need for an apology we should have pride in our mesorah one must not try to gear the ignoram to the transient ways of a neurotic society the rub is saying here that the real religion is not the kum's it's the kumbaya that great moment whenever it makes sense when we feel on a religious high the real test of religious man is our willingness to submit and surrender when things are beyond our comprehension when we can't understand when we can't make sense of it when it's uncomfortable and painful and difficult and yet are we obedient to his will or do we force our will our willingness to surrender is the testament to our really being committed to him and committed to his religion to the ribonus shalom to the torah hakadosha and perhaps nowhere does that come more to force than the laws of man zerus we don't understand them and they don't make sense to us and they seem unfairly punitive and yet we must abide by them we must abide by them i fight personally and unfortunately have have been beaten up because of it in certain circles and you and we fight on behalf of agunas but we cannot make up new halachas to let them feel that they can remarry we would call mom zero and cause mom zerus we have to get them again and we have to stop at no end to be able to rally to get them their get within the process and within what we can do but if we don't do it that way and we think we're going to introduce some new method then not only will they not be truly free khalil we could create a situation of mamzers the next individual or group of individuals who are not allowed are welcome to integrate to marry into the jewish people to join the jewish community you're not allowed to welcome an ammonite why gamdar asiriyavalam even the 10th generation they shall not enter for all eternity of course we've lost track of these nations we no longer know who they are we no longer therefore preclude them but they're not allowed to join why are they not allowed to join why are they not allowed to join so rashi tells us not russia yeah rashi is not allowed to marry why not so the ish ahmed we're back to rav zhruk and ravjuk says the following says the following possibilities i'm sorry if you keep reading that's when the torah tells you if you keep reading all you have to do is keep reading the because when we were traveling when we were leaving egypt and we needed some rest and respite and we provisions and we asked them they said no they didn't greet us with bread and water on the road when we're leaving egypt and be at number one and number two as bill and benborn they hired someone to curse us out they hired an assassin to spiritually try to assassinate us it didn't work but that was nevertheless their nefarious plan and for those two reasons because they did not welcome us they did not practice graciousness with us and they hired someone to destroy us therefore you shall not show their mercy we cannot absorb the cruel character into our people dna their dna carries cruelty even ten generations later such behavior is cruel we cannot carry it we cannot absorb it into our people the question is well known you do ash the order is out of order the master success when they hired bilam to curse us which is the more heinous which is the more egregious of their violations much worse they tried to hire someone to destroy and obliterate obliterate us to extinguish us all together oh yeah also when we were hungry they didn't offer us anything to eat when we were thirsty they didn't offer us anything to drink but what is more egregious what is more cruel the fact that they hired someone to destroy us so why does the torah list it in the other order that is the question of druk if you want to say amon and moaf can't marry into the jewish people because they have cruelty in their dna which is the greater reflection of the intensity of the cruelty clearly that they hired someone to destroy us also they didn't offer us something to eat or drink but why does it first lift list when we were leaving egypt they didn't offer low kidmus that seems to be secondary not primary so it says near the var bezos you can answer in two different ways number one you can ask how did they get to that point how did they descend to that place where they were willing to hire a spiritual assassin where they hired bilim to curse us out and to destroy us how did that happen how did they come to that place in russia notes are both me such riches such cruelty such evil doesn't happen spontaneously it happens gradually so you know what happens it begins with a lesser cruelty when you see people hungry and you see people thirsty and you not only close your eyes but you ignore their pleas when you choose to be cruel to them you've planted the seed that ultimately will result in your ability to hire someone to destroy le vasof magia gamli de cacho rabe poe so at first it was a passive cruelty your unwillingness to provide provisions was a passive cruelty but when you can practice passive cruelty eventually you will practice active cruelty and that is exactly what happened here and suggester of druk that's why that is the order of the first they were insensitive and unresponsive to the pleas of the jews on the way out of egypt for provisions and that passive cruelty ultimately manifested itself in an active cruelty number one number two of us maybe nobody was sharing provisions with us they were not outliers they were practicing the norm but why should they have been different because after all where do ahman and moaf come from amon and mo descend from and lo descends from avraham avinu lots his nephew and lo was saved by avraham avinu so really lot and his descendants owed the jewish people for their very existence their very existence is only because of what they owe avraham so if there was any nation if there was any people who should have been the first to come out and to offer and to be gracious and hospitable it should have been amon and moab um so the fact that they were ungrateful they should have been the first they should have been so grateful their entire existence is only because of the behavior of avraham avinu so i'm gonna know that the sentence of lord should have said we owe the jewish people in perpetuity forever and ever what can we give you what can we get you how can we take care of you and the fact that they didn't is an act of of kaffir of kufuitov they were ungrateful ungrateful being ungrateful is a fatal character flaw being ungrateful is among the worst character flaws you can have says the majesty if you're ungrateful to people you will end up being ungrateful to god if you can't recognize and say thank you for the good that people do then ultimately you will not recognize and say thank you for the good and the graciousness that god does and therefore it's a fatal character flaw they practice a lack of gratitude they were unwilling to offer and be hospitable to us and that's why that was the first reason that was offered it's not that it's less egregious it is equal or more egregious that lack of hospitality that lasts of gratitude is what metastasizes it's what grows into the other negative qualities that ends up being so damaging as well and this is also reflected by the kotzkoreba the great khatsuka reb and the wonderful new safer i've been telling you about emma's the helicopter says sorry not the katsuka this is also described by rip steinmen the shaman says the following he says went to war went to battle risked it all in order to save them and they should have been filled with gratitude so wonders wanders the halogen of iron livestream what do you mean they can't marry because they lack takara satov where does it say that non-jews are obligated nakara satov we have what we call the shepherds has been in we have the seven noahide laws we have very clearly delineated seven laws that apply to non-jews and there's not a karasutov among them so how could a karasatov the obligation to be grateful be so strong that the ingratitude caused us to not allow them to marry where in the torah does it say that non-jews bennet nawah are muslim they're obligated in hakarasa toving gratitude so listen to our shaman writes says is not an obligation that non-jews have hakar satov is part are the building blocks and the definition of what it means to be a person to be a human being is to be grateful and if you are ungrateful if you can't recognize the good that someone has done it's not that you have omitted or violated a mitzvah it's that you are failing to be a person what was the um what was the indictment against adam that he ate from the etadas because he was ungrateful the lack of gratitude god put him in the garden of eden he said eat to your hearts content have whatever you want hit the shemore called the it's the uh ganedan however one thing don't touch and when he did he violated the whole purpose he was created he was ungrateful when you are ungrateful you are not even a ben adam when you are ungrateful you violate your very existence as a person of identity as a person and for that and for that adam was expelled so similarly here says restrainment you see that beneno are not obligated as a mitzvah there are seven not eight noahide laws yet it's part of the building block the cornerstone the fabric of what it means to be a person is the responsibility and the obligation to express gratitude to express gratitude let's skip that we don't have enough time i want to get to a few more things oh you know let's do a paragraph design chapter 24 verse 16. torah tells us moving right along with divorce and remarriage kidnapping saras and slander so many mitchells kiseta is responsibility the torah tells us father shall not be put to death because of children children should not be put to death because of parents a person is put to death for their own sin back to the rafe the following says the following empirical of us we're told that at the end of our lives will be required to give din an accounting and a reckoning for our days and years in this world din involves individual judgment for what we accomplished how much we failed to accomplish each man shall be put to death for his own transgression each person for their own ish that's din what is khashban is for one's progeny as well offspring can be a great asset for the departed soul or alternatively a great liability the government's we learn of the priestly family of bilga whose rights and privileges in the basamitas were curtailed because of the behavior of one daughter who rejected judaism and married a greek soldier so the family of bilga this esteemed prominent family of kohanim we learn lost their rights and privileges because one of their children married a greek soldier base states on the day of the books of living in the books the dead are open before hashem and suffering mason it's usually interpreted to mean that on this day hashem judges who will live and who will die those who will live out the ear are inscribed in the book of the living and those who will not are inscribed in the book of the dead but there is however another possible interpretation caesar of salvation the books the living and of the dead represent judgment for both the living and the dead all of mankind are judged on this day the book of living represents the judgment for those who are alive and the book of the dead represents a recurring verdict pronounced upon those who have already died so it means the book of the living the book of the dead is not about whether you will be inscribed in the book of life or death but it means that even those who are not here they are examined once again why could they be examined they're in the world to come they're in the ulama emes they're not no longer in a world of free will and of choice for what are they being examined says thereof the reason for continuing judgment of those who are no longer alive is that the consequences of a person's actions cannot always be immediately determined for example one may have raised a child without a proper religious education as a result the child will later turn his back on judaism which will in turn result in the assimilation of his own children and grandchildren the dead are judged on every rosh hashanah for actions whose consequences were not realized until that very year wow what a powerful insight what a what a challenging insight it means that if we make poor choices in this world and they leave a poor impression and influence on others we are responsible for that not only while we're alive we carry that with us into the world to come and that's an enormous onus an enormous responsibility on us our children our progeny the future to be able to inspire so if salvation is explaining that this pasuk children don't die for parents parents don't die for children on the one hand it's true in terms of the specific consequences the law however in terms of our identity in terms of the impact that we leave it remains very much that the dead are still judged for the choice the inspiration or the lack thereof they left on their next generations don't pervert the judgment of the gayer or the assam of the gir or the yossum who are the ger the convert or the orphan so there's a beautiful the balaturum writes the torah doesn't say here don't pervert justice judgment for the convert or or the convert and the orphan it says teaches us that we know that a convert a gershwin is somebody who converts is born again it means technically speaking biblically speaking the convert can marry their own sister the converts no longer related to their parents where do we know that principle from gershwin dummy our rabbis took it foreign granted that a convert is as if born again and has no relationships to any of the previous people to whom he was biologically related and therefore i don't know where it comes from perhaps it comes from this balaturum this bioterm is the muck or why it doesn't say asum it says ger yasom by definition by becoming aguer by definition when you convert you're an orphan you're no longer related you're born again you're born anew so that you're no longer biologically related to the people who came before and that's why you are illu born again so a beautiful insight i forgot where why do we say gersh in this guy or cotton chinola dummy we should say goes in here a non-jew converted is as if born again a non-jew converted as if gets a fresh start why do we say gersh nisgaier and the answer is because every individual who was destined to convert was already present at har sinai it was already determined at harcina that they were going to convert and therefore it's gair shin is gayer the convert who converted they were already in the trajectory it was really determined their soul was already at sinai and now they just have to go through the technical part to continue to transform their soul so gare the convert who completed the conversion as opposed to the non-jew who converted it last insight arguably the most important for today that i want to share with you a very powerful very important very very contemporary insight torah tells us towards the end of our passion chapter 25 possible verse 13 don't have in your pouch a weight and a weight a large one and a small one we know that in antiquity before they had scales digital scales and before they had cash registers the way that you would weigh how much of a particular ingredient or material or good that you were selling you'd weigh it on a scale and based on the weight you determine the price so torah says be honest with those weights and measures don't have multiple measures a large one and a small one but rather evan have an honest and a perfect measure if you're dishonest in business you are a toeva people like to throw around the world the word to eva we describe certain behavior a certain orientation as to eva it is an abomination but you know what else is an abomination being dishonest reporting something as a business expense when it wasn't being dishonest on your taxes being ruthless in your marketing and advertising being dishonest that's also considered it to eva the torah here tells us that being dishonest in business is a to eva being dishonest in business is an abomination interestingly the torah here um says rasheed evan mishkalos is telling us to be very very careful when it comes to our weights and measures if we steal not only are we violated been adam la not only have we violated when you steal you have not only violated between man and man but we're violating between us and god as well and that's the native suggestion in our native suggests we mentioned this last year as well that the reason we have these laws of honest weights and measures right next to the war of the law of amalek is because if rashi says it's a rashi rashi says the juxtaposition of these two mitzvos is if you're dishonest and waits and measures then be concerned of the provocation by the enemy attacked by people such as amalek or a punishment for being dishonest with weights and measures why is there a punishment where does this come from so that sid says very beautifully he asks a series of questions but he gives the following answer he says hashem sends amalek before amalek's attack beneath i'll complain about the lack of drinking says hashem with us or not so um because we didn't bring hashem in our midst so the native says that when do we merit divine providence when we act honestly if you act dishonestly you have not got out of the equation if we are dishonest then hashem is not there if we really believe hashem provides for us we'd never cheat steel we'd never cut corners we'd never bend the rules if we believe we have what's coming to us is coming from hashem we would be honest all along we'd never take a shortcut we'd never take a shortcut it is absolutely abomination to hashem it's interesting the posix says it's a funny language clumsy it's an abomination of hashem all who do this all who act corruptly why this colossa ela colossa you know it's an abomination to god you know what is the biggest abomination to god when you keep all of torah and then colossa aval and then you cheat in business when you shuckle and shul and when you have a longshot esrae and when you have your name and light for all that stuck and that you do and then you're dishonest in business you keep all of torah and yet and yet you cheat in business that is the toe to hashem hashem says that's the abomination if you can't be honest and straighten business don't pretend that you love me because if you love me you realize that i'll take care of you if you love me you realize that you don't need to cut corners or cheat cheating and cutting corners and stealing is not only a violation binary but as an act of khira you show that you don't really have faith in hashem if you really had faith in hashem you'd never cut corners you'd never cheat you'd never steal you would never bend the rules there's a beautiful insight of the caduceus levy and we'll end with with this insight today radiative is trying to resolve a stira between two gemaras and the one in the gemara says in san jose on the one end of the gemara's i'm sorry and the one in the gemara says in shabbos that we know that when we die we come upstairs and we're greeted by our maker he has a series of questions he asks us and one of them is did we do our business dealings honestly and then then we'll be asked upstairs did you set aside time for torah study so what's the order of the questions first we're asked if we dealt honestly in business and then we're asked kavate did we set aside time for torah study but then the governor sanhedrin says that we are judged for whether we learn torah or not so which is it are we first asked about ana's business dealings or are we first asked about our commitment to learning torah so listen to it the hello girl of leviathan really the very same question were you honest in business and did you learn torah talia came in if you do business dealings honestly then clearly you've learned torah yes because if you're doing business how do you have time to learn you have to bring in an income make a livelihood provide for your family give to the community then how do you have time to learn we come to know hashem in all of our dealings with because when you go out to the marketplace and you're tempted to cheat in business but you remember evan schlemmer no no no i have to have a complete and i have to have whole weights and measures you're tempted to be lewd and licentious and you remember that you have to be modest and humble you're tempted to be ruthless and you remember tirhak you cannot tell a lie when you go out into business in the business world and you are employing and engaging all the lessons of torah all day long that is the fulfillment of kavat you are learning torah when you are living torah and therefore says oblivious like it's not a steroid it's not a contradiction which are you asked first are you first asked did you do your business dealings honestly and then did you learn torah or are we first asked did you learn torah it says it's really the very same question it's really the very same question did we live torah will we learn torah through our living of torah living torah through our learning of torah nimitz was don't do anything inconsistent with torah we're living torah i'm living towards the learning torah mutual toast that is the answer of the caduceus levy so we have a responsibility to be honest in our business dealings it's a toeva colossa ela if we keep torah and mitzvos and then osa avail and then we cheat and we cut corners it's a toeva it is an abomination to hashem we should all be honest and straight and bring great merit the orb our local several years ago decided not only to test the ingredients in each of our stores but we calibrate the scales we want to make sure whatever people are being charged however many ounces or pounds they claim it to be that those scales are honest because part of kasras is yasras you have to keep not only kosher you have to be yoshi you have to be honest and straight otherwise it is a toeva it is an abomination again if you'd like to sponsor a future sheer come on brsonline.org sponsor if you'd like to get the notes of today's sheer and you want to be able to bring it to your shabbos table and share these debrie torah simply subscribe to the newsletter by ephraim goldberg dot org rabbi ephraim goldberg.org sign up to get that newsletter and in it you will have the beautiful parsha pdf for your table until next time tomorrow 10 minutes of meeting 8 15. living with the moon 8 45 and 9 pm tomorrow night wednesday night we go behind the bmw with the great hall of fame man of faith who loves god mariano rivera the great mode the sandman 9 pm wednesday night till next time