Parsha Perspectives for Today (Chukas, 5781) - Momentarily Lapse of Faith

good morning welcome back to partial perspectives for today first of all some housekeeping this is our last partial shear until after tisha buff we're taking a break for a few weeks so please make a note this is our last parsha shear until the week following tish above hopefully we'll all be in yushalaim celebrating the rebuilt basan mikdash but we will resume the tuesday morning following tish above if you'd like to listen to pashurum on the parties that we're not going to be streaming live you can find them on y utorra you can find them on rabbiafrangobri.org i want to thank as always our generous sponsors of the series for the year becky and have the cats my dear friends in memory of becky's father lillianismus david grossman who's a very special man thank them for their generosity for sponsoring the passion perspective shiri jire and hopefully please god it will continue we have the privilege this week of reading and learning of being transformed and inspired of being enriched and empowered by parshas rukas page 838 and the art scroll stone khamish vaidhabir shamma mosha viel aharon laymore god speaks to moshe and taaron sang zoska satora first of all it's interesting commentators ask we're not going to get into this why the word lay more is repeated first god spoke to moshe lay more saying and then he told them this is the coke of the torah that god commanded lay more saying write the redundancy we already had the word lay more once why do we need the word lay more a second time so soon i'll let you offer your own answers we're introduced here to the quintessential hoke the ultimate hook and that is the hoke of para aduma paradoxical it did complicated or it was confusing even to the wisest of all men amala who proclaimed he said shalom he wanted to be rise here i can't understand it i can't digest it i can't analyze it i don't understand it how does it make sense it's paradoxical the person is pure purifies another becomes impure the import pure person becomes pure it makes no sense if you're able to purify the other you should remain pure yourself why and how in the process of purifying the other does one become impure it's the ultimate hook and it's not only a this is the law of the doom it's the incomprehensible inexplicable understandable specific law of the para aduma why are we generalizing those khukas not just a hoke in general satora of the torah at large also a great question but let's dive right into rav druk we have many many diverse torah to share where we've been learning and he says the following quote um the nations of the world and the nations have an amazing accomplice to sutton himself they are busy trying to challenge the jewish people what is the nature of this mitzvah bizarre inexplicable there's no explanation it makes no sense you take a red heifer that doesn't even have two non-red hairs has to be a certain age certain appearance you burn it you take the ashes you sprinkle it when you sprinkle it the impure become pure the pure becomes impure it makes no sense what's the reason and therefore the torah characterizes it therefore the torah qualifies it as says god this is xera this is an edict god says i am ordaining this on all of you and don't try to understand it don't try to explain it don't try to digest it i'm the king when i say jump you say how high i'm telling you this is a mitzvah this is a procedure this is a ritual what you need to do the ain laha rishis you do not have permission to try to understand it and ask for the following yes one can help but be bothered this rashi the nations of the world since when are the nations of the world trying to attack the jewish people because of the tamiha mitzvos are the nations of the world really making their way through the nations of the world are the anti-semites of the world are those who challenge us in the world is this their number one challenge is this their number one hundred challenge are they really raising the para duma and asking doesn't make any sense since when do we worry nations of the world really care anti-semites really care about our mitzvos there's no there's no injured party we're not talking about pita who are worried about the perfect red calf and what happens to it the nations of the world all of a sudden care about this mitzvah beyonce and moreover the satan the evil inclination the eight sahara this tries to seduce us to have poor judgment the yetzahara the satan is usually associated with negative behavior the satan tries to entice us gives us an appetite to make wrong decisions give in to that temptation given to that animal instinct given to that base desire here the satan is not trying to distract us here the satan the imagery of the satan is invoked not in the context of trying to get us to do the wrong thing here the imagery of the satan is invoked as challenging us as to what a mitzvah means since when is the satan the business of mitzvos so the rashi as a whole is bizarre rashi tells us the nations of the world want to know what is the reason for this mitzvah and the satan joins in the chorus and says yeah what is the reason for this bizarre mitzvah so god says are presented as a hoke that's my resp the nations of the world are asking since when is the something's in the business of getting us to give into the eights are something's in the business of challenging us about what a mitzvah means what in the world is going on here cesar of druk venera lavar kozai hineko yasod mitzvasa we know that the para aduma is the atonement the para aduma is the repair for the mistake that we made with the khita ego we cheated on god unfaithfulness infidelity we worshiped an ego we worshipped the calf as the measure says the major in fact compares it a child a child who soils the courtyard of the king amara malach let the mother come and clean up the child child makes a mess the child soils so the imagery of the para the cow and the egg of the calf the calf made a mess our worship of the cast created a mess for us and therefore the mother of the calf needs to come up and needs to come and clean up the mess of the calf so the para aduma is the response the antidote paradum is the repair it's cleaning up the mess of the calf on the other hand melch said i referenced it in kohl's park zion i said i'm going to be wise i'm going to apply my intellect i'm going to apply my genius my iq but no matter how hard i tried no matter how much i investigated i just can't access the truth the understanding the deeper reason of what the paradigm is all about and the gemara yuma tells us darsh mattel says that pasta and koalas is talking what does it mean when mello gave up he threw up his hands and he said i just don't get it. i just can't understand no matter how hard i try come on yuma tells us you daled he was talking about the law of para aduma so i don't understand not didn't realize what do you mean you know what the part of doom is here for it's here to clean up the mess of the calf why didn't he know the mitzvah para duma cleans up for the mistake the poor judgment indiscretion of the ego says why are the nations of the world involved why are enemies and anti-semites since when do they care about para aduma the answer is because they want to they want to challenge they want to prosecute the jewish people do you know how you prosecute the jewish people they said jewish people what's the reason for the para duma they were trying to trigger us they were trying to catch us they were trying to what do they call it gaslight us they were trying to say hey how come you need this para duma what's the role of the para duma and they wanted us to answer you know why we need the red heifer the red heifer we made a mistake we had terrible judgment we cheated on god we practiced infidelity we were poorly behaved and therefore we have to undergo this process of the red heifer the nations of the world there was a role there was room for the anti-semite the satan was trying to persecute prosecute and persecute us by getting us to admit by getting us to confess and say the reason we need the law of the right half of the paraduma is because we made a mistake because we cheated on god um they wanted to prosecute us in heaven and now we understand why specifically out of all 613 commandments that they could have challenged and they could have prosecuted us with why'd they come at us with specifically the mitzvah of the red heifer the answer is because it's that mitzvah which reveals it's that mitzvah which would have pressured us to admit which would have made us confess the ego the mistake of the golden calf and therefore they challenged us so that we would have to respond we'd have to admit we'd have to confess it out loud zui gamke not gosha and that's what it means that davka yomra befem monan is his more they pressured us they pushed us they tried to entice us to get us to say but him out loud they wanted us to articulate our mistake of the ego god says hey my children hey jewish people i got your back. no this is xera before me a russian you need to know that really this mitzvah while there's a cute play on words para and eggel while there's the cute association of the mother cow and the calf don't try to understand the ways of god god says omnipotent i'm infinite i'm perfect i'm all-knowing i've existed forever i will be here forever don't try to understand my ways don't try to understand my directives know that i'm coming from an infinite omnipotent place and i'm asking you or telling you to do this um so god had our back and he totally disarmed our anti-semitic threatening friends he totally disarmed and took away their ability to try to indict to try to prosecute us by saying don't try to explore the reason you don't have permission to try to understand it you should stir so there's no contradiction for on the one in understood the mother's cleaning up for the child but is that the reason for the mitzvah it happens to be when we observe it the mother's cleaning up for the child but that's not the reason and we're not entitled to try to explore the reason it's too far why do i enjoy this dvar torah why is it important to me to share what is the parsha perspective for us for today i think that this insight reminds us that when we go through challenges in life and this year the jewish people saw several challenging situations whether it was the 45 people who died in merone whether it was the rockets that rained down on the heads of our brothers and sisters whether it was the tragic losses due to corona the worldwide pandemic whether it was the bleacher collapse carl and stalin whatever the the challenges that jewish people have faced are we in the business of trying to say definitively conclusively and this is why god does what he does and this is the message for us and this is what god wants us to take we're not in that business if shalom the king the wisest of all men said i tried to explore i tried to understand i tried to analyze i'm not god i'm not infinite i'm not omnipotent i don't have that view in that perspective i don't look down on the world from that perch and therefore i cannot say i understand we're not asked nor are we entitled as rashi said we're not allowed to in we don't have permission we don't have a license now do we have to act you have to observe the para duma we have to grow we have to improve we have to take upon things for ourselves we have to ask not why but for what not lama but lima of course we have to react of course it should inspire us to be better of course it should motivate us to try to improve but to definitively or conclusively point put a finger and say this is why god did what he did mel couldn't figure out we can't figure it out when it comes to the law of paraduma and we can't figure it out when it comes to some of the tragedies in our world so it's not a contradiction it's not a contradiction on the one end to say let the mother clean up for the child on the other hand to say but we don't understand the reasons for god's rules i want to suggest to you my own interpretation that what is the connection of the association how here is the mother cleaning up for the child is it just a cute play on words para and egel the mother cow and the calf or is there a deeper connection we've studied many times back to pashas ki sisa what was the haita ego where did we go wrong what mistake did we make so according to you da levy according to the kusari the mistake that we made was we didn't cheat on god we did not have an affair on the side on god the ego was not an alternative to god we desperately were trying to connect with god we made the mistake of needing a physical means a physical mechanism we were looking for something tangible palpable until then we had moshe rabbenu moshe was the expression of god in this world and moshe communicated the word and the will of god in this world and moshe was our conduit and our connection to god but when moshe was on top of the mountain and when the jewish people miscalculated and we thought he wasn't coming back they said now what we need something tangible we need something to look at to touch to listen to we need some manifestation to connect something tangible and palpable to feel god's presence so they built an ego not as an alternative to god not in a mac as a way of cheating on god but in an effort to connect to god it was misguided it was wrong says the kuzari that was the mistake we are not allowed to be too inventive we're not allowed to be too entrepreneurial we're not allowed to be too creative or independently thinking when it comes to connecting with god he gave us 613 mitzvos and within those mitzvos we have different traditions and we have different customs there are 70 paths of torah but we have to be within the mitzvos within the 613 commandments we are not entitled to design to creatively make up our own we're not allowed that was the mistake no matter how noble the intent no matter how pure the motive no matter how strong the desire to be closer to god we cannot be too inventive or creative that i want to grow close to god in this way another one of you made the same mistake they brought ketos they brought incense on the inauguration day of the tabernacle that they weren't commanded and therefore they left this world they were struck down tragically because there's there is room for creativity within religious practice but there's not room for too much creativity there are boundaries to the religious creativities that we can practice so perhaps here essentially what is the ultimate antidote to a mistake because we need to understand what is the ultimate antidote to a mistake because we demanded that we comprehend we understand and had to meet our needs the keta egel the ultimate antidote is the quintessential para aduma when we are willing to observe something that we don't understand when we're willing to observe something that we can't comprehend that is a testament to our commitment to all of mitzvos even the ones we do understand that's what i think it's what others explain that's why it's called zasrukas hatorah not zazukas para aduma it's a torah because you know when you're willing to do the things you don't understand it shows that even the things you do understand you're not doing it because you understand it but all that we do we're doing in our devotion our commitment and our dedication to god last week on behind the bhima we had biti deutsch who is the uh accomplished marathon winner and several marathons lives in israel is competing for the was competing and we'll compete again for the olympics an amazing woman she runs in a skirt and with her uh with uh her arms covered and her head covered and really difficult and challenging but is committed so she was talking on the podcast it's worth listening to behind the bema last week behind thebema.com you could find it she was talking about she's disadvantaged running that way she still wins and she still competes she's disadvantaged why does she do it where does the commitment to modesty come from and she likened it to you know she would she would throw her clothing over the door to dry after a run and it bothered her husband asked her not to so at first she said to him what's the problem it doesn't bother me and then she stopped herself and realized it doesn't bother me but that's not the point it bothers you and i care about you so whether i understand it and whether it bothers me or not if i'm committed to a relationship it's not about what i understand or what bothers me it's about what you've communicated is your need is your want is something that bothers you and when she realized that in that conversation that momentary exchange with her husband she said she realized that's true about torah and mitzvos so even on the days that she doesn't feel the beauty of modesty even on the days that she desperately wishes she weren't wearing that clothing that is putting her at a disadvantage that's making it harder to run but it's about god we're in a relationship and when you're in a relationship it's not all about what i understand it's not all about what are my needs that's why it's called zoshrukas hatorah because our attitude to the moments when we don't understand our attitude to the moments when that doesn't bother me so if it doesn't bother me so then do i keep doing it or even if it doesn't bother me but if it bothers you then it bothers me when god says you're not going to get this one it's a test let's see are you all in even when it doesn't bother you are you all in even when you don't understand and perhaps that is the greatest atonement that is the power of the mother atoning for the calf because the greatest antidote the greatest response the greatest repair to the mistake that we made with the ego which was a mistake of a craving of a need to know to understand to comprehend for it to meet our needs the greatest antidote is to do a hoax is to observe something when it is beyond our comprehension all of that is number one number two even though there were like three or four things in number one but nevertheless number two torah rashi tells us now the governor institution tells us the following conditions the governing condition of says how far does the commandment the mitzvah we have an obligation or responsibility of qibla and we have to honor our mother and our father they gave us life and the gemara says when you honor your mother and father you've honored me says god when you dishonor or known today as this your mother or father you have dishonored and you have dissed me says god so how far does that mitzvah go how far do we have to spend our money or their money do we have to inconvenience ourselves how far must we sacrifice how selfless must we be for kiba so he answered he said if you want to know how far it goes check out this gentile check out this non-jew check out this idolater in ashkelon dhamma ben sinishmo his name was dhamma ben nasina biksham menu baskhar the rabbis came to him because he had access to special gems special jewels for the breastplate of the coin goddamn for the aphode and they were willing to pay very very hefty bishop the key to be able to get those gems was under his head's father the father of the head of his father his father was napping so he could wake his father disturb his father get the key and be able to turn a huge prophet or not that he married because of his extraordinary um honoring of his father he merited that he had a para aduma para dumas a red heifer that is purely red so the rabbis came to him i know this is so rare so unusual that if i ask you for all the money in the world you'd be willing to pay it in order to buy this part of doom ella also covered all i want is the money i lost out when i let my father sleep and i didn't wake him up in order to get the key in order to sell the gems um if a gentile of a non-jew it's not one of the seven noah hyde laws you're not obligated according to the noah guide laws in honoring can't dishonor can't be rude to anybody but there's no specific obligation to honor parents it's not among the seven noah guide laws so here's a gentile who honors his father in extraordinary fashion even when he's not commanded all the more so we who are bound by torah all the more so we who are commanded should excel in this mitzvah so isla i am a nice zoo asks her if drook the following was that the merit he didn't wake his father he didn't disturb his father to get the key to access the gems to turn a prophet and what was the reward god said red heifer you will grow a red heifer and you'll turn a big prophet you'll make up what you lost with the gems by selling that red heifer but i'm rubbish why didn't god make him win the lottery why didn't god make him do it make an incredible stock investment why did god make him short the market when everyone else went long why didn't god let him make up that money in some other way why was specifically the reward for not waking his father para aduma cesar abrupt the following nirah beer ki bishop dominating because in the moment that dhamma benesina displayed this extraordinary honor for his father again the prosecutor the prosecutor began to speak against the jewish people and he said here this non-jew this idolater is excelling and honoring his father he's willing to forgo he's willing to forfeit all this money all in order to honor his father what about the jewish people where is their honor are they willing to go that far are they willing to forfeit exactly in order to remove this prosecuting notion against the jewish people because dhamma benesina excelled therefore the reward was specifically para duma why the afco muhammad shabba ullah malayalam na sina para duma holy should come and it would be they would be asked to spend exorbitant amount of money and that would eliminate that would remove the cat rook that would eliminate the prosecuting angel why because dhamma benesina was willing to forfeit money to honor his father honoring your father is a logical mitzvah if i were to ask you do you need the torah to tell you to honor your father and mother no it's logical it's rational you look at this generation it doesn't always look so logical and rational but in theory it's logical and it's rational the people who gave us life we have to show them respect people who gave us the very life that we have we have to express our gratitude it's a myth it's a rational logical mitzvah we don't need god to command it in order to have discovered it so dhamma ben assina he earned his pride he earned his reward for doing something which is logical but when we came and we were willing to pay whatever it took in order to get the para duma we were showing that we were willing to spend money we were willing to forfeit money we were willing to lose money for something we don't understand and that removed the katrin that removed the prosecuting angel against us and therefore maybe that is the connection between the two very good continuing the torah hear the story of the paradigma we discussed i believe last year some of the other ingredients to the para aduma that go into it the eighth eras of nitolas we know that it's burned and then we take a wood cedar hyssop and crimson thread and you throw it into the mixture into this recipe sprinkled onto the impure person we discussed the symbolism and significance of those other ingredients i believe last year moving along to parikh you test possibly turn the page 8 40 in the earthquake we take from the contaminated person some of the ashes of the burning of the animal and we put upon it spring water in a vessel says the holy vision it's why are we taking also from the dust we're taking from the ashes and from the dust what is ashes and dust reference humility humility modesty we pray three times a day the end of our ahmeda we say god let me be like modest and humble in the eyes of others school of tahara so it says the imrich is something very powerful we can learn from here if the whole section of the doom is telling us you want to live a pure life how can we purify ourselves from the contaminations we've experienced how can we purify ourselves from the impurity that we've had the answer is humility and modesty school of the tahara and humility we don't have to be the loudest person in the room we have to suck out all the air in the room we don't have the spotlight in the room we are about promoting the brand is hashem his torah meaning inspiration not us the school of tahara you want to live a pure life and you want to purify the impurities the contaminants practice humility that is the that is the answer let's move right along the next peric page 842. the next story right after we're introduced to the para duma and its application is tragically the death of miriam miriam and aaron both die in our parsha and it feels like it comes out of nowhere it feels like we just left mitraim we know that we're only in bamidbar we all still have half of bamidbardvaram to go we're only in the beginning of tamas we're not going to complete reading the torah until simplest torah what do you mean what do you mean we lo when i realized almost every year when you read pashas when i was preparing and i realized oh my goodness we lose miriam we lose our own mush is on his own it feels like it comes out of nowhere it's abrupt it's so sad it's so tragic we lose the perspective of the context and the scope of those years in the desert and where we are within them so turn tells us children of israel whole assembly we arrived in the midbar first of the month we settled in kadesh miriam the prophetess miriam miriam who was responsible for saving moshe miriam who was a mother of the jewish people she died and she was buried there and immediately we didn't have water why didn't we have water so rashi already tells us what is the connection what is the sequence between miriam dies and immediately we don't have water says rashi miriam is mohammed in the past first of all what's the juxtaposition here between the death of miriam and what came right before namely the para aduma the juxtaposition is that just like the para aduma and just like sacrifices can atone so to the death of the righteous achieves atonement but tamasha miriam afhi bin ishika mesa she died with the kiss of death kiss of death means that for the righteous for the unrighteous we make the mistake of thinking that my body is who i am ass soul maybe i have one maybe i don't have one when the soul is extracted from the body and the soul looks down at the body the soul says that that was me the soul is in great pain the process of the transition from this world to the next of the soul being extracted from the body can be very painful the more one associates and identifies with the body but the less one associates and identifies with the body the more one knows i am a soul and i have a body but the body is just a vehicle it's just an instrument the body is just a garment for my soul but the real me is the soul then death is not painful it's a nishika death is in the sheikh the rabbah man in his guide to the perplex writes that the most righteous death is the kiss of death death is bliss of writes says that not that he longs for god forbid nobody longs for death but he says i long for a time when my soul can disrobe from the body you get home from the end of a long day i finally take off that tie you can finally take off what a person had to wear at work change it to something more comfortable ramnachman says my soul can't wait to disrobe from the garment that is the body so miriam's death is described as a sheikah it's the kiss of death it's bliss for the righteous that always knew they were a soul and they had a body death is not painful or uncomfortable death is bliss fine now why was there no water what's the connection we spoke about the juxtaposition the contrast to what came right before but what about what comes right after lawyer miami what does it mean there was no water mechanism all 40 years they were in the desert the was in the merit of miriam miriam now died there was no more water miriam dies they lost the water with aaron too if you fast forward in the same parrot we lose both it's getting emotional and get choked up the same pair chapter 20 of bamidbar we lose both miriam and aron two-thirds of this of these siblings who really founded our nation we lose them it's painful so what happens he dies irony is safe for me is going to die there moshe takes off ireland's clothing he puts it on his children there's the succession and vairu kalidaki of course israel the whole nation sees that aaron died and they cry 4 30 days and rashi here tells us what happened when arun died the clouds were gone the clouds of glory the clouds of protection they disappeared we lost the we lost the clouds what happened the clouds were were gone what's the connection why is miriam associated with the well and iron with the clouds why did we have specifically those elements in their merit and why did they lose them i think we hit on this last year a little bit as well what is the connection between them it's a beautiful beautiful rebel bachya rabbi usher brander in his book called the teachings quotes uh several of these interpretations and rebel bachelor says the following rebel says the following and by the way this is the this is the rock when we're going to get to in our section we're going to get to momentarily that um that moshe was instructed to hit a rock so that water will come out it wasn't any old rock it was this miriam's well which was mobile it moved with them just like the rock moved with them what was the connection what is the connection over here so um rebecca says the following he says that when moshe was floating in the water miriam was watching she was patiently watching and it was miriam's idea to save her brother and miriam patiently wanted to see what would happen to him miriam's great hassan and concern for moshe took place at water water is the symbol of chaser and therefore the well was in her merit because that is where that is where she did that of saving the savior of the jewish people it all took place with her vision with her patience with her devotion all at a body of water therefore the traveling body of water that sustained us was in her merit but he quotes another interpretation the other interpretation was the significance of a well we've spoken about this in the past too we have countless individuals of our matriarchs and patriarchs who shirakh took place at the well maybe that's the answer to the crisis not resumes or profiles not of pictures we need more wells we need more wells and people can hang out around the wells that's where the shidduchim happened so what happened at the well why the well by the way because the well was a social center the well was a place of great chesad it was a meeting place it's where yitzhak and rivka and yaakov and moshe met the shepherds at the well as well so it was an obvious meeting place and it was a place where people went to water their flock it was a place of chaser it was a place of sensitivity it was a place of caring so perhaps the reason that miriam we in the merit of the of the well was associated with miriam miriam was also a great shotgun whom did she set up miriam was a sharkhand soyuz miriam set up so the answer is miriam set up a couple that had previously been married but needed to remarry namely her mother and her father her father withdrew from her mother saying how could we bring children into such a a hopeless world such a despondent world he looked out at the world suffering of and servitude of mitzrayim 210 years of persecution and oppression and he said how could we bring children into this world he withdrew he left her mother and what did miriam do she made the argument she said you know para is only killing the men you're killing everybody how could you how could you not be committed to a continuity she reintroduced her mother and father her father and her mother she was the great shah who brought them together so maybe maybe the association of the well with miriam is because of miriam's capacity and miriam's role in having served as the great shahen that yielded the birth of moshe that yielded our savior she was a shahnaz and she received her reward was commensurate with her life the reward that the well was in her merit because the well is the symbol of bringing people together and she brought her mother and father together she wrote the jewish people and moshe together she brought the jewish people and hashem together what about aaron and the cloud what's the connection between aaron and the cloud so we know that our own was if shalom varudev shalom aaron's character trait aaron is known as the ultimate peacemaker he pursued peace he brought people closer to peace and and there's no greater peace than aaron ever made than the peace between hashem and the jewish people he advocated for the jewish people and he fought for the jewish people and he darvened for the jewish people and so the role of the of the cloud was um was in uh a symbol as a symbol of peace you know that when a husband and wife when they when they get along the shrine dwells among them the yud and the is but when they don't get along the h consumes them you take out the yodan hay that are god's name all you have left from isha nisha's and shin aleph in china's is fire it's fire so the mahara writes and it's natasha the clouds of glory were because of aaron he was the connector between hashem and his nation when the shrine was revealed in lower worlds it was by means of the clouds of glory and hashem appeared in the pillar of the cloud through aaron came the connection between hashem and the jewish people so the clouds of glory come to claude israel by means of the shalom that arun forged the relationships that he created so both miriam and aron operated they lived they represented they modeled kindness and peace and that was their agenda that's what they devoted their lives to that's what their legacy is and those things therefore were in there were in their merit namely the clouds and the and the well someone just gave me my friend lenny friedman gave me this beautiful save for a new safer of rav ruvving feinstein schlitta called nahur shalom it's in english no her shalom ravine feinstein on safer midbar it's a thick safer beautiful beautiful devetora i'll just share this morning a couple with you so on this he comments the following when he talks about aaron's death and aaron's legacy he quotes rashi that not only did the men of clay so mourn for our own the women cried as well why aren't was the only of shoulder dave shalom and obviously nothing tells us he brought people together he melt he he healed friendships business partnerships as well as shalom bias rashi there on pirkeivos tells us aaron had an amazing methodology two people were in a fight i would go to one and say you know the other person really wants to make up with you and they go to the other person and say the other person really wants to make up with you and by suggesting that the other was willing to initiate he disarmed the other party and the tactic worked the two would come together and they would be able to resolve their fight so um aaron would approach the person was upset and asked what was wrong and that person would relate all the terrible things and after patiently hearing him out i would say many maybe any of the actions have been taken in response to something the person had done to him so i don't get the man to realize that at least some of what he had done to that person was done out of anger when he was sure the person was willing to resolve the mahlokas i had a similar conversation with the other and he brought them together this is the point i wanted to tell you reverend feinstein abbasi abbasi para gimel teach there were 80 80 80 000 children at the time of aaron's death who were named for him 80 000 children who were named for him now sean bias is delicate and it can take time you meet with the couple you're trying to heal the wounds even if aaron had started his career in charlotte buys when chrysler left mitra there were approximately two thousand resolved cases per year or more than five happy couples per day that's a staggering number i don't care what mental health professional you are how successful you are but did you hear that raven feinstein crunches the numbers according to the cholera bussie 80 000 children were named for our own ostensibly because those parents were grateful that iron had brought shalom bias into their family and if you do the math it comes out to five a day the way aaron was able to accomplish this says ruben feinstein an all too necessary feat was by advising many people at once how so aaron was able to lend perspective to the many husbands and wives through public discourses in a way that no one else did aaron had a unique focus on shalom and when he would discuss he would bring out to the people again and again in many different ways that often the deficiencies they were detecting in their spouse were in some way a reflection of their own issues by causing the people to undertake honest introspection aaron was able to make quarreling couples realize they had solved their problem without ever talking directly to them out of a car satova maybe to memorialize the lessons he taught them they named their sons in his aran in his in his honor they named their sons aaron which by the way is interesting because it says by the time he died there were 80 000 children named arun which means they were naming for him in his lifetime which is the safari practice which is a fascinating origin for that for that practice okay moving right along paragraph passage now we get to this story what is unfortunately most well known for god speaks the motion he says take your staff gather the people speak to the rock before them and it will give forth its water votes and you will extract water from the rock not iraq hasela the rock and it will then it will be able to water the people and their and their animals he got the first part right he grabbed his staff like he was commanded by killer mushrooms called a pineal cell he got step two right he gathered the people at the rock by yom alham and he said listen you rebellious ones should we get water out of the rock for you and already we begin to now see where things went wrong moshe is lashing out moshe has lost his patience moshe is now calling them names listen you rebellious ones should we we is moshe bringing out the water from the rock or is it god moses raises his arm he hits the rock twice the water comes out but that's not what god told them to do that wasn't the way it was supposed to go down so god tells moshe because you didn't believe in me god says you didn't believe in me this is moshe moshe's legacy he made a mistake because of this mistake god is ready to declare god is ready to say because you didn't believe in me so definitively you didn't believe in me strong statement you didn't believe in me you didn't enable me to make a to to to be sanctified in the eyes of others you failed at the opportunity the invitation to make a kit of hashem therefore you're not coming into israel these are the waters of strife the main mariva and he was sanctified through them there are a thousand questions and there are a thousand answers and we've spoken a thousand times about this section i have an original interpretation of what was going on here which we're not going to get into we don't have time right now why god specifically wanted moshe to speak why moshe still couldn't speak it's a throwback to the burning bush where moshe said i'm not an orator i don't speak well god tested him moshe failed perhaps he couldn't go into israel because israel needed someone who spoke well why is speaking well a prerequisite to being a leader in israel we spoke about it in the past all for a another time where did moshe go wrong we don't know this is a harsh harsh punishment and moshe spends the rest of his life dominating that it be reversed unsuccessfully a harsh harsh punishment moshe's life work is to lead the jewish people into israel and he has denied that opportunity where did it go wrong what did he do wrong many many suggestions are are offered where did he go wrong and what went wrong over here one suggestion is that the rambam's he got angry he got angry he made the mistake of giving into anger rashi says the mistake was that he was supposed to speak to the rock and he hit the rock but the album says that wasn't a mistake because water came out anyway and if that was such an egregious error god would not have had water come out so the rambam is quoted by the ramban says that moshe was not punished for hitting the rock why was he punished because he got angry he screamed out shimona morim listen you rebellious ones he lost his patience and he gave in to that character trait of anger wasn't he entitled to these were a incorrigible people these were an impossible people moshe's frustration was more than understandable wasn't he entitled to lose his cool lose his patience a little bit moshe the one who dedicated his entire life effort who toiled and worked and sacrificed all for this people all for god's mission who gave his energy and his resources and arguably sacrificed and forfeited his own family and he can't go into israel because for a moment he lost his cool and the answer is yes that's the anger that's the emotion of anger anger gets us to make decisions which are horrible in a moment of anger a person loses their judgment loses their clarity loses their conscience loses everything in a moment of anger when we lash out when we act out we can absolutely sacrifice and we can sabotage everything everything stipela gomberg's parrots we've said this before says the plague of frogs the second plagues phardea we know the frogs had this unusual feature and that was the frogs didn't need to multiply there was one frog visited on egypt but when you hit the frog it became two you hit two they became four four became eight and so on every time you hit them they multiplied so the stipel are going because paris wonders okay so the first time they hit a frog it became two maybe the first time the second time they had two it became four you learned your lesson so stop stop hitting the frog they brought the plague upon themselves the answer is that's anger when you get they hit a frog it became two they got angry how dare you frog i didn't want one of you i don't want two of you they hit it again it became four they kept hitting it you see you see just how negative anger is how toxic anger is you see that anger causes us to lose our judgment lose our cool anger causes us to make mistakes anger causes us to bring a plague onto our family onto our community unto ourselves all in that moment one loses they're cool all in that moment one can give it all up that's what the gemara says that when a person gets angry it's like they've worshipped an idol what is idolatry idolatry is worshiping something other than god a person who lives with the moon and knows that everything's from hashem everything's for a plan everything's for a reason there's no reason to ever get angry everything's from god no reason to get angry no reason to get anxiety anxious no reason to get envious so if you got angry it's who are you worshiping whom are you worshiping you're worshiping yourself you're worshiping yourself the quran iran says in fact a person is known kiso casa and koso we're known in three ways we're known when we drink a little bit personal becomes a little bit inebriated what comes out devetorah spirituality love god forbid anger of violence vile behavior what comes out and the kiso with your pocket what comes out with your pocket and casa what comes out when you're angry those are the three ways that we are now the maya shaw says that these three things correspond with the three relationships in life between us and god our relationship with ourselves and says the marsha the man's relationship with ribana shalom is drink tells us about what we think about ourselves anger shows our relationship with hashem if we give into anger it's a momentary lapse of faith if we had real faith if we had a real recognition of god and his role in our life we'd never get angry i'm not angry because because you're not going after the light turns green i'm not angry because you left that in the middle of the floor i'm not angry because you left me sitting and you were late to our meeting i'm not angry because the email you sent i have to deal with things they can be frustrated they can be painful but i don't get angry because i realize everything is from hashem a person who gets angry killed that moment of anger and that's the connection the rambam is saying that's how the rambam knew this what did god say lo and man how could you tell moshe you didn't believe in me moshe got himself testified there was never ever anyone like moshe how can you say to moshe you don't believe in me the answer for the rambam is in a moment of anger it's a lapse of faith they don't go together if you really have faith you don't get angry if you got angry for that moment you lacked faith that's in the letter to his son the igarasaramban the beautiful letter he implores him never ever get angry because that's amida never give in to anger but rather learn to speak learn to speak patiently learn to speak calmly to everyone you interact with never get into anger so one of the lessons at least according to the rambam again there are countless explanations for what moshe did wrong what went wrong what deserved what seems a totally disproportionate reaction of god to say you can't go into israel where did moshe rabbenu go wrong according to the rambam a moment of anger in a moment of anger we can sabotage everything in a moment of anger we could bring a plague onto our lives onto our families onto our home onto our community in a moment of anger we lose that faith because if we maintain the faith we would never ever get angry says the imrae ms shimou nah morim look at rashi says rashi shimun nahamarim listen your rebellious ones that he that he was angry at the people passage who rebel against their teachers wondered the imran master of gair wonders the great emory emis the geri rebbe why do i need two explanations of hamarim hammarim means the rebellious ones so why did rashid need to say shotim they are fools who make bitter who rebel against their teachers so said the immediate person really the two interpretations of rashi are really one it's not rashi suggesting two interpretations they are really one why because the mishnah says in pirkyovos chapter four made me call adam who is a wise person someone who learns from everyone a fool thinks they have all the answers a fool thinks they know everything who is the wine person wise person the one who can learn from everyone if you don't have an appetite to learn if you don't have a curiosity if you're not engaging everyone around you to take out what you can learn from them you're not wise you're a fool so you see how so who's garu mikol who is the lowest of all says the imraems someone was a teacher and the teacher is able to inspire teachers able to be mashipiya and not only do they not learn from everyone around them but they reject even their teacher they think they're smarter than their teacher so that's what the imra emma says rashi is now telling us two separate interpretations rashi is telling us one interpretation the two are one in the same shimunahamorim and who are the monrim shot him they're fools and what makes them fools morim s morayam because when you push away your teacher when you shut your ears when you shut down when you dismiss what your teacher is inspiring and teaching you you're a fool what makes them showtim what makes them fool hamorim as morayam it's not two interpretations it's really one and the one and the same god says lo and mountain be you fail to have moon in me there was an opportunity here of kirish hashem we said loha amantam the failure of a moon how could you say moshe bainu moshe went up on the top of hassani twice moshe was the paradigm of a munna but in the moment of anger anger and amunah can't and don't go ex together lower emantem in the moment of anger he didn't have a munna and what was wrong with that because he failed lahakti shaini you didn't sanctify me the rambam is where he counts all 613 mitzvos the rambam includes the mikta of the nitashree basal beneciral the rambam says we have a mitzvah to sanctify god's name we say it every day nakadesh in kedusha we answer we pledge we promise i will sanctify your name in public that's our obligation to publicize emunah loha emantim the failure of the kid of hashem is you didn't display a muna the greatest kid of hashem says revolber you see from this passage the greatest kid is hashem is to put our ammuna on display the greatest kids hashem we can make is to show others our unwavering unyielding unequivocal faith in hashem lohamantam you didn't have faith and therefore you failed to make a kirish hashem that's the kid of hashem the kirish hashem is by holding the door killer hashem is saying please and thank you kirsh hashem is using somebody's name of course that's all the kids but ultimately the greatest kid is hashem is to talk about with a muna please god thank god to show others what it means to believe in god to never get angry envious or anxious to show the the benefits of god that's the kid of hashem we each have that responsibility to avoid hashem if that's the definition of kiddush hashem then the inverse the opposite is the definition of that you got angry you lost your cool you showed you didn't believe in god a kid of hashem is you got envious you got jealous you showed you didn't believe that god gives you everything you need that's him hashem is not only sticking your head out the window of the bus on this class trip is not only spitball in the classroom is not only when you land as a headline in the newspaper is when you act in a way that shows that you don't really believe and that you don't really live with faith in hashem ravdruk also deals with lahaktishani and if druk says the following oh the left one out okay for next year we left one of the river jokes out but if joke says lacti cheney and uh rashi there says if you would have spoken to the rock this rock doesn't speak this rock is an inanimate object it does what god tells it so to we must do what god tells us the money the major so when a child is young the teacher perhaps strikes them to teach them in the old days kevin shahid dilba once he grows a little bit older vidib or miyasro then the teacher uses words no longer needs to use the stick the teacher uses words so god said to moshe when we were an immature people so you hit the rock viki sure you see that in shemos you're much more mature the nation's more mature it's time to speak teach the rock one piece of torah say a piece of torah near the rock and the rock will give out water so of drove a beautiful beautiful insight from here says rodrik there are people who think you know those who are learning torah those who are dedicated and devoted to learning torah they're being supported by the businessmen the businessmen are supporting are holding up those who are learning torah and those who are learning torah they're takers they are simply being held up being provided for being supported but according to the al-qaed shimoni you see that kojiboroku is telling moshe you want to get rock out of the you want to get water out of the rock teach the rock a lesson of torah after a ligament you know what brings about the miracle you know what brings about the water you know what makes the water flow you know what it makes it rain you want the income to come the one who's learning torah makes it rain for the one supporting him and that's the understood says the possibility that we sing we put the torah away the torah is in the torah is a living tree for those who grab onto it and those who support it are are are blessed are fortunate are made wealthy so why do we say we should say those who hold on to it what do you mean hold on in it there are two types of people who strengthen torah yes there are those who really think if i don't write that check if i don't give to that dinner if i don't support the total learning torah teaching and the shul and the yeshiva and the based medicine nicole if i don't support torah learning it won't exist and there are others who say i write that check because torah is supporting me if they're not learning torah i'm not going to do well in business the torah is going to exist either way the torah will be here torah is what sustains the world i'm not lifting torah torah is lifting me just like those who carried the aron they didn't carry the aram the oran carried them and that's the attitude that we have to have not us that we are strengthened by that when we learn torah live torah support torah torah is what lives what supports all of us and that's what it says if moshe would have spoken to the rock and told it one lesson of torah then i imagined quite the jewish people would have seen that you know what makes the water flow torah they think the water is keeping them alive and the torah is just accessing the water it's the opposite the torah is keeping them alive and the water responds to the learning of torah there was an enormous killer hashem opportunity here and the kid of hashem would have been says druk the role the centrality the power the support of torah and because moshe albanu did not speak and he hit he did not take advantage right what was he supposed to say the torah doesn't even tell us this right what's he getting out of druk what was he supposed to say he's supposed to speak to the rock but he didn't speak to the rock had he spoken to the rock what was he supposed to say so that's what the alchemy is telling us he was supposed to teach them torah and you see the power of the jewish people would have seen and would have learned about the power of torah and that was an enormously lost opportunity all right there was much more we didn't get to the plague that struck the jewish people how they looked up at the snake they were healed why the snake does the snake healed the mission of rosh hashanah it's a lot more we didn't get to meet to show we will hook us next year i want to wish everyone a healthy and a happy summer a good summer a summer of learning of growth and please gotta look forward to resuming our learning together the tuesday following at tish above until then stay happy stay healthy and stay holy we are on tomorrow morning 15 minutes mrs ashara made 15. living with the moon at 8 45 and tomorrow night we go to behind the bema before our break the last behind the beam of the season father son for the upcoming father's day rabbi manus friedman and benny friedman tomorrow night 9pm