Parsha Perspectives for Today (Chayei Sarah, 5783) - You Have to Start the Work

good morning Booker told welcome back to Parsha perspectives for today it's so wonderful to see our great crowd back Hashem must be getting cold up north that is a good sign it's great to have everybody back partial perspective Shear generously sponsored by Becky Navi cats and family member of David Grossman Becky's father our learning is also sponsored anonymously in honor of the earth very grateful and thank our sponsors for their generosity I want to remind everyone we've started a WhatsApp group for the partial perspectives if you'd like to be updated on the schedule for this year whether we're on or off where and when if you want to get the partial perspective right up delivered right to you if you'd like to get some bonus material and the divertora sign up and it's very easy Rabbi Efron goldberg.org WhatsApp Rabbi FM goldberg.org WhatsApp you can sign up for the WhatsApp group for each of the shirim and you'll get all the bonus material share schedule everything you'd want to know and much more this morning our share is dedicated also in honor and memory the second year it site yesterday of Rabbi Lord Jonathan sacks whose loss continues to create such incredible pain for us not only because of his loss every loss is the loss of a unique expression of Hashem in this world and every loss is a feeling of tremendous pain but for me particularly by Sax's loss is not only a loss of the present it's a loss of all that he was going to teach and share and shape our future the articulate spokesperson of the Jewish people person entrusted to be able to Advocate and communicate to be able to open and offer insights to the Torah in so many ways to represent authentic Torah Yiddish kite on the world stage such a loss at such a at such a young age and it's so painful and we dedicate this year as part of a entire week that is being done of learning and memory of Rabbi sax as part of the rabbi sax Legacy foundation and so I want to open up before we dive into the sukum and the divoritorah I want to open up with an Insight insights two insights by Rabbi sax himself offered and communicated transmitted in his memory and it relates to something we've spoken about last year two years ago this is now the second year site run by sacks on this Parsha it's very interesting he has maybe four five six articles that all revolve around the same phenomena that he that he identifies there's something in our Parsha something that jumps out at him and then he repeats it but comes at it from many many different angles which is fascinating and what is that thing what he recognizes and what he speaks about in our Parsha is how many times Hashem promised Abram two things he promised some land and what's the second thing he promised him children land and children seven times land four times children if you look how many times Hashem has promised over and over and over again and yet by the time you get to by the time you get to the loss of Sarah neither of those is yet realized all those promises and yet the two things he doesn't have he buys the first plot of land in Canada ranges for the marriage of Yitzhak neither of which is done before the loss of Sorrow so despite all of those promises he does not yet have them so that's what he identifies Hashem makes these promises too he doesn't make them once he makes them many many times and hashem's word is his bond could you have a better promise could you take someone to the bank more than when God himself tells you and yet despite that Hashem is not yemi good Hashem is not yet delivered on that promise and avram is steadfast and I said he comes at it from many different ways many different angles he draws from it many different lessons we've shared some in the past I want to share two new with you two new ones with you this morning in his memory to share his Torah he says our Parsha contains the most Serene description of old age and of dying anywhere in the Torre Pera Cafe is on page bottom of page 120. the sex describes this as the most Serene description of old age and of dying anywhere in the Torah avram expired how this he died at a good ripe old age does anyone have does anyone not have that hope in that dream isn't that what we want to reach longevity to reach a ripe old age and he's not only a ripe old age he's savaya he's satisfied he's content has gathered back to the people and you see this earlier in our Parsha as well in paragraph we're going to talk about it today I have some amazing insights from those Satora avram was the first one to go white he went gray why his daughter will get to that I identified very much with this we'll get to that but we also have this description here of avramim he's reached longevity he's reached the uh stage of of life where he feels content and Serene and happy and fulfilled and he leaves this world but the serenity the gift that Abram had Rashi is puzzled doesn't only he's not only given to avram go back to the very beginning of the parisha by now you've all learned this Rashi countless times that the Torah parashar could have communicated Sarah's age much more efficiently simply say she was 127 years old why does it take up extra space by saying she was a hundred years and 20 years and seven years and now you gotta do the math 100 plus 20 plus seven why did the Tori give us homework why does the Torah take up space by repeating the word years and Rashi tells us something astounding we're also going to get into this much more letova they were all good years her life Bliss joy and happiness her life was incredible her life was amazing they were all equal in goodness they were all equal in being wonderful avram is a Zucker in Baba yamim avron leaves this world savea he had such a good happy perfect Pure Life Sarah they're all equal our life was filled with only goodness what do we have selective memory revisionist memory revisionist history you don't have to have such a great memory to go back just a couple partios and to remember what is their lives their lives they leave everything that was familiar their land their home their family they travel to another land they're forced and they confront a famine so they have to leave that land that their promised is the promised land twice avram's life is at risk when he's driven into Exile and he's worried he's going to be killed by a local ruler and he has to lie about his relationship with none other than sorrow they long they wait forever how old is Sarah when she finally as a child 90 years old 90 years old and that pain in Waiting is only compounded by The Dream being held over their head because God doesn't say maybe yes maybe no I don't know we'll see what will be he says you're going to have as many children as the stars of the sky and the dust on the Earth where are they 40 years old 50 years old 60 years old seven years old 80 years old where when a person is waiting to find out waiting to have a child every day is painful certainly every month the reminder that you've not yet conceived is unbearably painful every year that goes by is torture decades a lifetime goes by and Sarah's promise that's not fulfilled and instead she sees the birth of Ishmael through her adversary Hagar that aggravates the relationship between the two and she has to send your smile away and then finally born and there's the agony that avram endures in being asked to do The Impossible Test of succeeds he triumphs in the test but at what expense at what cost who dies Sarah so tell me again I'm from Ripe old age of happiness and serenity is life simple it's Pleasant was easy are we reading the same Torah are we telling the same stories are we following the same narrative how can the Torah say that Abram was blessed with everything how can Russia say also his years were equal in goodness that is the question that Rabbi sax asks and the answer he says is given by the Parsha itself seven times avermus promised the land and then he goes through we're not going to take the time and yet by the time Sarah dies Auburn has no land at all he's promised the land he doesn't own The Land by the time Sarah leaves this world despite being promised seven times avram doesn't own one piece of land in Israel that one parcel of land in Israel and he's forced to bow down before Ephron to acquire even the single field in a cave that he's promised really belongs to him altogether and he's got to pay some exorbitant son not as high as the price is today in Aries Israel but he prays some exorbitant sum an inflated price that doesn't sound like the Fulfillment of the promise all the land north south east and west and then when the promise of children are by sex counts that album has promised no less than four times I'll make you into a great nation I'll make like the dust of the earth he took off him outside he said look up at the stars this is our numerous your descendants will be no longer will you be called avram you'll be avraham you're the father of many nations and yet he's waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting forever so what's going on how could you say he's zakane Hashem he blessed with everything he's surveyor his content how can you say that Sarah couldn't travel on the top of all her years were good how how could it be the reality fell far short of what they have felt entitled to expect that however is precisely the meaning of the message says or by saxara in it avram does two things he buys the first plot in the land of Canon and he arranges to the marriage of Yitzhak one field in cave was for avram enough for the text to say Hashem blessed avram with everything one child yet talk by then married and with children was enough for avram to die in peace essentially censored by sex you know what the message is is in order to feel that you have everything and in order to feel content you don't have to finish the job you just have to put one foot in front of the other and take a step closer you just have to be on your way loud through the Chinese stage the Journey of a Thousand Miles begins with a single you all know the phrase you didn't know who say it but Rabbi Sachs did because that was my sacks he knew everything it begins with a single step it's not on us to finish everything Hashem says to Abram I have chosen him so he will direct his children that's why I chose them the message is clear if you ensure your children will continue to live for what you have lived for you can have faith they will continue your journey until eventually they reach the destination avram did not see all the land and Jewish hands nor did he see the Jewish people becoming numerous he had taken the first step he had begun the task and he knew his descendants would continue it he was able to die surrender because he had faith in Hashem and faith that other others would complete what he had begun the same was true of Sarah to place your life in hashem's hands to have faith that whatever happens to you happens for a reason to know that you are part of a larger narrative and to believe that others will continue what you began is to achieve a satisfaction in life that cannot be destroyed by circumstance avram and Sarah had that faith and they were able to die with a sense of fulfillment element the reason I find this so powerful is not only is it such a succinct summary of the message of Sarah all shoved into two ProCom which is not a short parisha but it's short and how many breaks it has it's as if it's one narrative that's flowing and this is its common theme in mem and denominator says they're by sax the common theme is despite seven times promised to the land four times promise of children neither of them fulfilled and are from only getting to see the beginning of the first step by the time he leaves this world it's accurate to describe him as having everything and being satisfied it's true to say for Sarah they were all equal in their goodness why because sometimes we get greedy and sometimes we feel entitled and sometimes we want to reach the destination in our lifetime sometimes we want to see it all and live it all and reap it all but we don't and often we can't and we shouldn't have that expectation and we certainly shouldn't feel entitled our job is to take the step that will lead to A Thousand Miles our children will walk the rest of the journey and eventually the Jewish people are descendants our progeny we'll get to the destination our job is simply to take that step and if we do we can die with contentment to be happy rights are by sex does not mean that you have everything you or you want or everything you were promised it means to have done what you were called on to do to have made a beginning and to have passed on the Baton to the Next Generation and the reason I think it's so powerful is certainly I imagine by sax didn't know this when he wrote these words but that was his life that was his life but sax was an incredibly modest person a humble person I had the privilege to know him I won't pretend I knew him well although I had the privilege to know him on several occasions and I felt close to him whether objectively close or not at least through his his Torah but even his personality I spoke to him about not only the Robin and personal things and he was a real a real source of wisdom and of strength but he didn't have the easiest life when he ultimately died of cancer it wasn't his first bout or challenge of cancer and there were ups and downs in his life and yet he left this world Serene and tranquil he left this world modest and humble he left this world satisfied and grateful he was a positive and a happy person who was so grateful for all that he had and even though he left this world at such a young age with so much more to give us happiness isn't that you have everything you want or everything you were promised it means to have done what you were called on to do and what a mission he fulfilled what a difference he made and what a legacy that he leaves so he was entitled to leave this world happy and fulfilled and without Fanfare so many others all these tell him calls go out remember when somebody gets sick great God in the end of their life there are rallies and there are calls and there are massive funerals brought by sacks he didn't share what he was going through the public didn't know we didn't Daven he didn't want that attention neither on him nor on his family he was focused for him all that matter was passingly baton to the Next Generation he was such a father and a husband that mattered so much more than whatever public role he had on on the radio in the United Kingdom were the books across the world or the Celebrity Status he had all he cared about was his family that was the most important like I'm from that he passed it on transmitted it to the next generation and that's what leaves a person with happiness happiness is knowing that we passed the Baton forward and that we passed the Baton on and uh I really think that this Insight this beautiful Vitara that he writes up do you want to find it online it's in an essay called The Journey Of A Thousand Miles he of course articulates it so much better than I ever could a journey of a thousand miles but I think it focuses us we don't have to get it all done we don't have to do it all we don't have to solve The World's problems we don't have to set up and position our family to have everything that they could have we have to take a step we have to pass the Baton we have to transmit our values and our lives and our lifestyles to the Next Generation and is there anything more gratifying or satisfying than that I think we're living in a time where increasingly people don't have that satisfaction almost every family it's not so simple to say that every one of my grandchildren great-grandchildren isos it's not a given it's not a given at all and it's not easy to achieve and requires tremendous divine intervention support and help if one is going to be blessed with it but if one can have that pass that baton foreign Thanksgiving weekend sort of Schechter several months ago was asked in a public setting he was asked what do you think your biggest accomplishment in life is what is your legacy what are you most proud of being a Russia swarm is written the thousands of Torah online offline thousands of tamidam and I could have suggested countless answers he could have given to that question you know what he answered you got to watch this video I shared it I think in the partial perspective WhatsApp group bonus material a good reason to join you know what he said so humbly so modestly kidarko rochetta said what's my biggest accomplishment I have nine children and they're all shamotoro mitzvos that's it if I successfully passed the Baton on my parents raised me with Torah I tried to raise my two children with Torah they're all observant and if I leave this world successfully that my children are observant that's my biggest accomplishment that's the biggest accomplishment biggest accomplishment an enormous of Our Generation who's impacted thousands around the world yeah that's his biggest that's I posted it last week because that's what Hashem says to avram you know why I love you because you're passing the Baton on to them because you're successfully passing the Baton that's what Rabbi Sachs says you don't have to see the Fulfillment of all the promise of the land or of children you just have to take that step it's not enough to finish the work how did he do it that's another article which I'll suggest you could read on your own I wanted the time now it's another autographed access called to have a why a y w h y to have a y how did how did averman sort of do it how did they do it this promise seven times land four times children they didn't have it so how did they do it how did they do it because they had a y averman sorrow are among the Supreme examples in all of history of what it is to have a why in life the entire course of their lives came as a response to a call a Divine voice that told them to leave their home and family set out for another destination go to live in a land where they would be strangers abandon every conventional form of security and have the faith to believe that by living by the standards of righteousness and Justice they would be taken the first step to establishing a nation a land of Faith a way of life that would be a blessing to all of mankind he goes on and on he quotes the book Edith Edgar's book the choice and talks about how powerful it is that when we have a why I believe that Faith helps us find the why that allows us to Bear almost any how Faith helps us find the why that allows us to Bear almost any how the how is how am I supposed to do it people's lives are riddled with challenges and hardship and obstacles and difficulty so how do we navigate how do we overcome how do we persevere how do we endure you wake up at a given day and some people struggle financially and others struggle with their health and others have friction in their relationships there are no shortage of obstacles and challenges that we confront so how how says from the sex you know how when you have a why then you can bear almost any how the serenity in avram's death was eternal testimony to how they lived to have a why they knew their why they had a mission they had a purpose they had a why and I think the same can be said again about Rabbi Lord Sachs he had a why he felt a mission in his life he wasn't even going into the rabbit you know that when he studied he did not study and prepare to become a RAV a Torah scholar he was not on that path but a conversation with the LA Barbara changed his life he told the story many times and look at the gift that he was to mankind not only to the Jewish people because he discovered his why discovered his why you know Mark Mark Twain one of my favorite quotes Mark Twain once said the two most important days in a person's life of the day that you're born and the day that you find out why the day you're born the day you find out why the day you're born most are lucky enough to know when that is that's easy to find out but the day you find out why that's a lot harder avram and Sarah had a why and when you have a y you can endure almost any how and that was not only true of aberman Sarah and how they lived and left this world but I would say it was also true over by sax how he lived through the challenges he faced and how he left this world because he felt a strong sense of of his why he was able to figure out how to overcome his how so much should continue to have an Aliyah we continue to share his director he continues to impact the world and we should continue to find the comfort and strength to um to get through this terrible terrible loss okay let's start the beginning of the pasture page 106 and the Arts girl Stone comes to what the Spotless already comes to give eulogy for his wife Sarah we live kosa and to cry for her several questions on this plastic we've examined most of them before what is the normal what is the normal order do you first cry and then prepare the eulogy or do you deliver the eulogy and then you cry ordinarily first you cry and yet in avram's case lispoed the Surah first to eulogizes and then velivko so he cries you'll notice the half of the word is zero it's a small half why is it a small Huff because he showed restraint he did not cry with a lot of emotion why not his life partner with whom the beginning of these promises were fulfilled he was incomplete without her in fact she is so great with television points out that avram lives for many years after her demise but we don't hear from him any longer his entire impact only happened when when she was alive if you look at the text you'll see that once Sarah leaves the scene all we see is avram give to the Next Generation avram's done without her he's incomplete and he no longer is that source of impact and of influence and yet despite her position despite her greatness despite her completing him he has with strength and crying he isn't bereft he's not crying he's not mourning what's going on we've seen some of these questions you know why didn't Christ as the bellatorium because she was older she was older Whoever thought but in my lifetime I find doing many funerals of people who passed away in their 90s over a hundred when I was young which was very recent I don't think I knew one person who was over 90. a hundred years old you read about in books people you read in the news someone somewhere turned a hundred they made a gun's party for them but today or Hashem we've celebrated several hundred birthdays I always tell when the person gets an Alia we were shamasutov someone turned 100 I always say the same thing I say Mazel Tov I have good news they say the first hundred years are the hardest should be easy from now on in perhaps some people 90s and hundreds says the balatorium sorry you may know was a ripe old age 127 is pretty good so you know why he didn't cry because he was sad he was going to miss her he would feel her absence but it wasn't a tragic loss she lived a long and I'm beautiful and a meaningful life but wonders of yankov golinsky say for vigarette uh wonders of yankov golinsky he says I don't understand because she was old didn't cry this was his other half she could be a billion years old they could be married for a trillion years all the more so the longer you have someone the more you become accustomed to only living with them the harder it is to live without them the fact that she reached such an old age and they were married for so long should have been more reason to cry not less okay hold back the jokes about marriage we'll get to that so he says you know I didn't allow himself to cry excessively because there was an opportunity and educational opportunity here avram avinu was teaching and preaching to the world that we don't only live in the here and now there's something so much bigger something so much greater there is a world to come there is eternity there is a mortality and if you believe in eternity and immortality then you don't grieve and cry excessively because of a loss of this world you cry and you're mourn and you grieve because we're sad we no longer have that contact with the other person but they didn't die they didn't die every funeral I officially I tell the family the same thing people and you in Yiddish guy we do this is what we believe people don't die bodies die we don't bury people we bury their body most important thing I can say to someone before the funeral of a loved one as hard as that day will be as bad as that sound there's nowhere sound in the world than the first shovel full of Earth on the top of the casket but no I always say no that people don't die bodies die we're not burying your mother your father your husband your wife were burying their body the soul has an immortality as netsah is eternal is returning to its creator we believe in a world to come we believe that we will be reunited the soul was housed in this body for this finite time when Hashem deemed at the right time he extracted the soul from the body which is why our rabbis call death yet they don't call death they call it the extraction of the soul from the body and the Soul doesn't die the body does that's why we put the body in the ground so here avram avinu is telling the whole world don't live for the here and now don't indulge in the pleasures of the flesh don't think this is all there is there is a world to come there's immortality of the Soul there is eternity there's something so much bigger and greater and then he's going to grieve in mourn excessively like this is it he'll never see Sarah again the death is the end of the road so he showed restraint in order to continue to educate and Inspire those around him in order to continue to elevate and communicate where else do you see this in the Torah the ramban writes this on the Mitzvah of losses go to do don't cut your skin children of Hashem we understand then the pasta continues and says unlike the nations of the world who exhibit grief and mourning by cutting themselves don't cut yourself don't cause harm to yourself when grieving when the world is the first half Apostle you have to do with the second the children of Hashem don't cut yourself says you know what it has to do if you were not children of Hashem if you simply were here random chance there is no God there is no Creator there is no world to come there is no afterlife there is no mortality then yeah when someone you love dies Cry Your Heart Out grieve grieve excessively because that's it you're done you'll never see him again but if you believe if we really live and believe that we're children of Hashem and that we are going to be reunited together with our father then losses go to do don't grieve excessively because if you grieve or mourn or cry excessively it is a failure and a breakdown of faith so that's what avram avinu says trying to educate and communicate he was trying to teach everyone around him this is a moment to teach as sad as he is he will not cry and grieve excessively therefore but live coach saw a small because he was confident he would meet her yet again let's say for one of my favorite the new otter pillow Satora that I've been sharing with you each week my safer for this year he quote several explanations why did avram not grieve why did he not cry a lot the rush the rush I mean Usher the rush rights [Music] why didn't he cry a lot number one the rush says you know why and I I think there is something here that's important because avram understood she lived 127 years and she lived a good life she lived a happy life no one is saying that you shouldn't be sad when you lose a loved one but you shouldn't cry and wail the same way when someone dies at 127 as if they died at seven years old we should know and we should differentiate between a tragedy and death you know sometimes rarely that someone comes to me and even those moments of course I show compassion and love and warmth and support but they could lose a loved one at 80 90 100 years old and they say where is Hashem and why me and how could this happen and I'm so sad and I don't say but I want to say did you think they were going to live forever are you not aware of the concept of death do you not know that everyone and everything is dying basically from the day that we're born pretty depressing idea but true when does the process of death begin at Birth where that process already is beginning so of course we should be sad I'm not saying that every funeral should be a celebration of life every Shiva should be filled with laughter of course the sadness but we have to be able to know when there's a tragedy and when someone lived a ripe old age and a happy life a good life so says the Russian abalaturam avram was trying to exhibit this avram understood this was he said certainly was said did he go into her closet and see her clothing and sit on the floor of her closet and cry certainly did but did he make some public display some dramatic display of grieving crying excessively wailing he did not because he understood the blessing she had lived the ripe old age and therefore he didn't cry excessively that's the rush number two the balatum gives another reason why didn't you know why Sarah died first because she told him I'm angry at you why haven't you given me a child and and therefore to a certain extent she brought to death upon herself someone who commits suicide we don't give a eulogy she's so to say brought this upon herself and there's a very harsh interpretation and that's why he didn't cry excessively okay third opinions also don't try that at home but Afra mavino had another wife and therefore he found comfort and consolation and strength and support many men cry excessively when their wives die because they'll miss her and they'll miss her cooking avram still had the cooking so he missed her and therefore he only cried partially not excessively okay so how did I what happened one finds comfort from the loss of anything other than the love from their youth if you fell in love at a young age the love of your youth will be able to save it you know the the love of your youth if you fell in love at a young age you never ever forget that person availis is 12 months because after 12 months the heart forgets Hashem programmed us we never of course fully forget anyone but it heals but somebody you've lived a life with their whole life with from a young age you never forget so how could often be comforted actually says he never forget her together and so on he says he he was restrained he was said and he cried it was just in a restrained way because he had perspective he had a perspective and perspective is something which is important posic says when it's time to bury Sarah says why does it describe that avram got up from penne what does penne mean the face of the deceased the one he lost so I've been to Ephraim writes um when someone loses a loved one they collapse on them on their face they embrace them they cry and they kiss them we see this also with Joseph collapses on the face of his father yaakov he cries and he gives them a kiss are you allowed to kiss a corpse are you allowed to kiss the loved one who's past what is the Jewish practice someone dies is that it we put them on the ground which was the way that we confirmed death and Antiquity cover them with a sheet open the window light a candle there are many men hug him and someone's left this world when they expire but are you allowed to still have contact can you hold their hand can you kiss their cheek so this one devote digs up fascinating things from everywhere digs up here that this is the source of the discussion can you shoot you should you give a kiss goodbye to the loved one even after their soul has been taken from the body to the body that no longer houses the soul till you give a kiss here it says so maybe this is the source for the idea that maybe it is appropriate to Bid Farewell to give a kiss to a loved one to say goodbye the mega deal safe I was also coming this year we'll give a shares coming to visit his son my neighbor Joseph has an interesting take he says wonders why is the husband before the bahri normally you cry and then you you cry you hear the news you're present you tear kriya and then and then you write the haspad here gives the eulogy and only then he cries why are we out of order the yes foreign the fact that she left this world and he cried that he missed her but of course what a tears tears are the expression of the connection that you felt when you feel connected to someone to something you cry when there's when there's you're torn apart gamara said has Spade the yak or the husband is you cry what they gave us they granted Us in the past and what will be missing or lacking in the future so that the haspid the haspid out of the eulogy is recounting who they were what they were in the past and what you won't have what you'll be depressed deprived of in the future crying is because what I'm missing so the eulogy is about the person the tears are the expression of my pain the incame normally a person normally a person who is their first priority themselves whose needs come first ordinary people whose needs come first their own so normally a person cries and then gives a husband first they express their own pain and then they talk about the legacy of the other person but rather but who had no sense of ego no sense of self no identity independent of what he could do and what he would mean for the for others Safra mavino he didn't need to satisfy his need first he didn't first cry to express his pain and not only eulogize to talk about the Legacy first he felt the difference of the Legacy that that Sarah is gone okay good we already said that avram got up he got up may Alpine meso he rose up he got up from the loss of his loved one what happened he saw the Malachi the Malachi what was Sarah's cause of death what did say in a death certificate sorry menu died because she was scared to death a messenger had come to tell the story of Achilles we learned from here how to tell a story I said this every year when you call your mother to say that something was wrong with your child you say mom for she's fine he's fine everything's okay they're good but listen to this crazy thing and we ended up in the ER and then this thing happened and it was dying but they're fine you don't start out with the car and the thing and the virus and the you may not get to the punch line because the messenger came and said Ivan took your son your only son the son that you love to top of him out when he raised the ax Shem told him to kill him and before you get to the punch line it looks okay he's fine she had already died of a heart attack she died because she was scared to death and there was the Malachi Mavis mattress neck doe there was the Malachi Mavis there was the Malachi mother's taunting avram avinu says you see you see the you see how pernicious the yet Sahara is that it even it doesn't give us quiet for a moment doesn't give us peace of mind for a moment until the Acadia the Satan is trying to convince avram don't go don't do it don't listen don't acquiesce don't don't conform don't do it don't do what Hashem is asking he's a beautiful measure that talks about the itsahara the malach took many forms the river that avram couldn't cross the valley the yitzara took all these different forms trying to stop avram but he persevered and he defeated them all right and now you'd think that avram could have peace of mind Tranquility he passed the Arcada he for sure at PTSD the trauma he lost his wife Sarah he had completed he fulfilled he passed all ten tests and what could he hoped for a dream for what did he deserve now a little peace and quiet a little Serenity what did he get instead it's hard I was still working yeah Tara was still taunting him yetara was trying to get him to what regret that he had done the right thing this is the shot what we say admire of every night the house remove the Satan from before me and from behind me Satan before me I understand what it is it's a bag of Cape Cod potato chips in the cabinet at 12 o'clock tonight I'm going to want to eat I'm going to come home I'm going to get hungry for some reason we keep buying the very foods that are my kryptonite so remove the Satan mil fanu help me have the strength not to give in to that Satan what's the Saturn what is the Satan behind me what's the Saturn behind me sometimes in life we do the right thing but it doesn't turn out right we did the right thing but it doesn't turn out well for us will we regret doing the right thing that's the sat on still doing in his work that's the atzara perniciously trying to still penetrate into your heart to get you to regret doing the right thing so just when avram thought that he deserved and was entitled to some peace and quiet he passed 10 tests he passed away he lost the love of his life the Nook Shine Let Me retire already palm trees pina coladas partial perspectives let me retire instead they eat Sahara it's still working trying to get him to think about his life and regret the good things and the right things he did that didn't pronounce so well didn't turn out so well so what does it says maybe now Hashem says I know you're you're Elohim when you don't regret having done the right thing even when it didn't turn out so well even when it didn't turn out so well on your behalf good so where does Avril mavina buy what property what piece of land he buys we don't call it that but it really is three names three words that'll be important in one moment so he endures this negotiation how do you count the tests According to some the ten tests were complete last week the Independence that was the 10th test Robin Leona says the temp test comes the beginning of what is that 10th test Maybe maybe the fact that he didn't regret doing the right thing even though a custom saw his life maybe that's a temp test oh they say Rebellion means the fact that he negotiates in good faith with Ephron a low-life used car salesman a conniving dishonest manipulative and nevertheless avra maintains his cool he's grieving his wife right now is when he needs to be negotiating in this way and he yet maintains his cool and is calm and he maintains his Hashem is maybe that's a temp test whatever the 10th test is he successfully negotiates he buys the plot of land what plot of land and he buries her there berries are there good who's buried there who's buried in Marissa Marcelo avram and Sarah Odom where's Rocco not the camera we visit where she's probably not buried but I just visited there we still go to visit there but Kevin good Rocco's not buried there that's the sum total that's his buried there right and that evasive that evasive was cut off and rolled in database of maybe that evasive good that's a Madras how do you know it's four couples what's it called where is Pella in kiriat arba one of the reasons it's called arba is four couples are buried there good says he quotes a message he brings a Pella in the name of the safer hatsumuna that you know who else might be buried there Moshe and sipora is a malach came down and disintered and reintered moshensipura from where they were buried and put them where maras I but you'll ask straight it says so nobody knows where moshraben was buried the answer is no human being knows the Angels knew and the angels disintered Moshe and took him in sippora and buried her buried them added them to the mix and marasa machpela as well he writes that the words of the yakuz are hinted to in the acronym for the name of the place it's not called what's it called Moshe the emotional it's a lot of us because Moshe and sipoto also were buried with the ovos it's not four couples but it is five and he quotes a gamatria and the safer Museum that sipur is buried there too why was and the middle letters which are I enraged in gamatria are Malachi Bola . so through these gematras the yakud ruining this medrus which dates back very far says that not only these four couples but Moshe and sipora are there as well are there as well that's why he says foreign birth and death ah it's called kyrian arba four couples five they're you know five's the crowd the fifth couple so let's carry out arba because there are four couples says who were buried there upon their death but the fifth couple came because they were moved they were moved buried outside of America so I'll move two hours to throw so it's okay so it's okay he goes on he has Allah here on the subject there's a lot more to say but I want to I want to tell you more other beautiful ideas foreign has reached longevity old age and Hashem blessed avramba Coley blessed album with everything what is everything what does it mean to be blessed with everything what does it mean to be blessed with everything writes says oh Lasik news he turns to avram with another Nissan the end of last week's parisha and he says I have one more test for you and how does the test of the Arcada begin and what is mean it was after all these things and you know what the test was says when a person is already in the stage of when a person is at the stage of life where they feel their greatest strength and the greatest influence and the greatest impact and the greatest Glory years are behind them it's life that's a test will you lose that Muna will you lose faith will you give up on Hashem will you give up on yourself or will you raise the flag to raise that to raise that and avrami even akharat Varma Ayla his answer is so person has to feel that even in and then says that's the end of lasting question then he says and this week's Parsha sorry I mean he diesel says 100 it was like 20 20 was like seven yes do you know how you overcome how you overcome the feeling of being you know it's it's um a feeling of being irrelevant you know you overcome it by never feeling you're old says age is just a number one of my daughters when she was a little girl I tried to put her to bed she said why do I have to go to bed say because you're such and such years old you should say Abba age is just a number I don't know where she got it from where she read it or heard it or if she thought of it should say age is just a number I have to go to bed age is just a number so she didn't know it she was a breast liver abnachman says age is just a number you got to renew every day and feel new every day and feel reinvigorated every day and that you're never that you're never that you're never a zucking Isha old age is not a number it's a feeling is there are some 30 years old 30 year olds who are old men and old women when they become fixed and stuck and finished and they're done you could be old even while you're young and you could be a hundred years old and when you feel my Best Is Yet To Come I'm just getting started I've got new things to learn and to introduce and to do in this world then you're young even while you're old you could be old while you're young you could be young while you're old because age is just a number it's the mindset that matters so do you have the mindset of an old person I'm not talking about is your body cooperating don't tell this Bartolo to your body your body may not cooperate but your body is not who you are your body is only one part of you your body is the instrument through which you interact with the world but your body's not you so don't listen to your body when your body says you're old don't listen to your body your body doesn't Define you your body's not you your body's just a vehicle for you don't listen age is not a age is not a number age is an attitude you could be old while you're young but you could still be young even while you're old is Hashem when she was a hundred she was like 20 20 she was like seven she was never old sorry you mean it never got old actually was 127. she might have needed her cataracts done by then maybe her knees hips are placed she might have been struggling going to doctor's appointments I don't know but she never got old how could you say she never got old 127 because when she was 100 like 20 like 20 like seven because always live like you're young this is the shot what we say Hashem don't cast me away sick now why is my uh why was my 10 year old son Dominican saying those words next to me on YouTube don't cast me away while I'm old he's 10. you're 20 you're 30. why are you talking about Cast Away when you're old the answer is Hashem help me not feel old even while I'm young help me never ever feel old never feel irrelevant never feel outdated never feel inconsequential never feel like I'm done never feel like I'm done help me always feel young no matter how old I am that my Best Is Yet To Come has a great entry on this he says he says the message a person next to Daven for when they will become old that their eyes will see you people digest their legs will work knees and hips she was much of Damascus because the way of the world is the older you get it all starts to break down and fail so the majority says from an early age a person should always be including in their trilos you know they try to sell you when you're young you should buy insurance for elderly care right it's just that I visited with people they have an aid oh I'm so happy that while I was young I was already paying that premium the insurance to get an aide what do they call it elderly a lot that much nicer than me they don't call it they call it long-term long-term insurance so insurance is one thing you should get for long term but you know the best insurance long term is Davin Davin for long term Davin the eyes work digestive system works the Feet Work reviewed the baryakar kasov papirus he says you know where we fulfill this listen it's I love he digs up this stuff when you say in the words a little bonus sitter snippet for you and we'll get up to in like 10 years we started the Amita but we'll get up to in about 10 years you say the words Israel pause when you say Hashem when I get old let me see and walk and digest let me get old you're diving for the people of old in in your life foreign that all will work when they're old when and how do we do that every day there's a Canaan in your life I tell my children my grandchildren have blessed their grandparents great grandparents Hashem are young young and spry and active and not here today to hear this but I say Daven for them can't take it for granted you all know one day to the next what could break down what could fail what could not work who could disappear what could be diagnosed one day to the next don't take for granted that should be the older you get that's the more kavana words in most kavana words in the amida and we say this if for when we become weakenu don't give up and says listen to this foreign because what happened avram looked exactly like that was by Design so the cynics to respond to answer the cynics who accused who accused sorrow of yatra being the son of someone else so they looked exactly alike Bo and Hashem so they were constantly confusing the two and it was miserable for both they were confusing the two so what did our courage Morocco do we made a miracle from David this is getting old pun intended this is getting annoying I keep getting mixed up and confused with Hashem you know let me grow a birthmark or something let me let people notice we're different Hashem listened but he didn't give him a birthmark what did he do he introduced what to the world aging Abram looked Oldham and then people knew the difference between the two Esther but you saw aging even before avram where you see zikno with the anshay stone it says who was killed in stone Minaj so you see that zikna agent was introduced even before avam Davenport the avinu zakain himself it says so what was introduced what novel came along to the avram's thriller so the martial says it's true that aging existed it's true that aging existed but aging did not exist with your hair turning white the feature of Aging being represented by going gray or going white that came when avram davend that I looked different the baliatosis the mush of the Kingdom says the following balatosis the motion of the Kingdom says the following don't kill me for this I've said a lot of it Politically Incorrect things today but none of them are from me I'm just quoting svaram so save your emails so the baliatos will say the following it says when is avram introduced as a zakane the avraham is avram buckle Hashem blessed album with everything what's everything children but what kind of a children familiar avram had a a bus a daughter so the Paleo it says sorry rambam in the letter to a son niguous lived no the rambam writes Beto because of the renifications you know what makes you go Gray your daughters the fear of marrying them off I hate that expression it is not grammatically proper but the fear of ensuring once children get married and paying for it is what makes people prematurely go gray and go white that's what rambam says he says be careful make sure your daughters don't make you go gray make you go White anyways why was avra mazakin what made him now go white because by call now he had a daughter and she had the Amazon password and she had a credit card and she knew where the mall was so he went immaturely gray and prematurely white and that's why but avram and bakol they go together for that for that reason oh they go together for that reason there was another outside I wanted to share with you yeah how old was rivka when yutra married her thank you so one measure session was through the same daughter my beautiful beloved Tamar when we put it to bed would say age is just a number so I'll never forget she was a little little girl she came up from school one day we got a call from the teacher tomorrow wasn't paying attention to class today she was doodling she was distracted I'm concerned so it's okay I'm wait till the end of the story I'm not ratting out my daughter so I remember we sat in the backyard with her and I was at tomorrow what's the story we got a call from your teacher what's going on so she said she started to cry she's very emotional how it's a good young lady she was a little girl she started to cry she said my teacher said stuff that doesn't make sense my teacher says something it makes no sense I stopped listening I said what'd your teachers say the teacher said the rift goes three years old when she married but no three-year-old girls marry a man what does it mean that she was three years old and she helped with the well with the camels and she got married three years old don't get married so my teacher said something and made no sense why should I listen to a teacher who's saying stuff that makes no sense that was a tough moment as a parent because I was trying to keep a straight face and I was trying to try to communicate you have to pay attention and not let her know how much I got from the Yiddish cup it meant that she was really listening and she was really thinking everyone else is scribbling down oh rifta was three years old when she got married my daughter said three is does that make sense does that make sense by the way she's been asking questions and she's going to be a lawyer ever since then nothing I say makes sense nothing a mother says make sense something I'm just joking she listens wonderfully she's fantastic but it's a wonderful attribute to listen with a critical ear to think does that make any sense so I'll just end with this one mattress she was three years old but there's other midrasha that she was much older why we have to choose that one measure is beyond me even that one measure is not meant to be taught literally it's not meant to be taught literally plus it says is after 12 years old she was at least 12 years old and age was different then if Sarah lived to 127 then when you were 12 was different even if you were three you were different there's a lot to say there's a lot of swarm there's a lot of debate exactly how old she was and there are many many opinions that she was a reasonable age to get married but there's one mattress that said she was three and even that doesn't mean literally she was three her innocence is Purity whatever other descriptions we mean to be that she's three that's what we latched on to that's that our kids have to say the shop is stable that's what we have to teach a generation of children who are learning to think critically we have to give them ammo to walk away and say that makes no sense well that made no sense I'm not going to listen to my teacher I'm not going to listen to anything else in the book we should be much more judicious and selective which Russian we teach they're not meant to be taken literally and when we give at an age they're not ready to understand then all we're doing is encouraging them to walk away because if that doesn't make sense why should I listen to anything else it doesn't make sense as well I hope I'm making some sense make sure to sign up Rabbi Efron goldberg.org WhatsApp Rabbi Efron goldberg.org WhatsApp so that you know when we're on or off you get bonus material have a fantastic day stay happy stay healthy and stay holy