Parsha Perspectives for Today (Chayei Sarah)

good morning Boer to welcome back to the par perspectives for today and as always thank you so much for joining me to be able to review our weekly sedra our weekly para and to extract from it the lessons that are so informative so instructive so moving for us uh till this very day and each and every day we have the privilege this morning of studying par par so rich and so beautiful so much to extract so much to learn I want to thank our gener sponsors for the year Becky and AI cat and family loving memory of Becky's Father David grman thank you so much to the Cates and as well this morning is sponsored by Janet Greenberg in honor of the fourth year of her father yon alah as well thank you for the generosity and thank you for the sponsorship appears in the Arts girl Stone if you're following Along on page6 tragically we go from the end of last week's the story of the AA of courage and heroism a story of faith of and less appreciated or spoken about but equally of and we go to this morning's this week's para where we see the consequence of that n a indeed passes that test but he's faced with another one the test he's faced with when he returns and comes home is that he finds out that s has expired s died and how did she die what did it say on her death certificate that the cause of death was the AA we learned from here I said this many times we learned from here that when you have to deliver news you start with the end and then you come back so if you call your parents and you tell them you never goingon to believe it your grandchild at school today had a incident on the playground they're fine everything's okay everyone is well but listen to what happened instead the messenger who came to report to Sor the story of the AA did not begin with Yak is fine he's okay everything is well they said you're never gonna believe it God told your husband AB to slaughter your son y your one and only your precious and beloved Son and before she could hear the end of the story her soul left her body her soul left her about a tragic beginning and Circumstance the tragic background to our para to our para the Torah tells us and it delineates her years and it does so not in a succinct way it does so not to described she was 127 years but 100 years and 20 years and seven years these were the these were the years of her life and of course Rashi tells us when she was 100 she was as pure when 100 she was as innocent as 20 because a 20 is not yet liable for punishment when she was as 20 she was as beautiful as when she was seven and that's why the Torah delineates and spells it out in all these ways and it ends these were the years of the life of SAR isn't that redundant you just told us that she expired that she died you just told us her age when she left this world why do you need to also now tell us these were the year of her life isn't that the sense redundant so rash says listen to this Rashi an incredible Rashi says Rashi sh Lova 127 years and all of them all of them were equal in the sense for being good all of them were good years and I cannot but Wonder all of them were good years as what do you mean they were all good years are you kidding me is anyone who has a life can anyone look back on their life and say they're sh laa can anybody look back and evaluate every day every month every year they were all equal for the good most of s's life she had infertility she was barren and twice she was held captive in a palace of a king she suffered from haar with whom she had to share and from is who she thought was a bad influence on her son are you gonna tell me that her years of barrenness of infertility oh it was all good it was all Bliss it was all beautiful her years of being imprisoned or the times in which she was held captive in the Palaces of the king how could you possibly say k sh that they were all equal for the good so the Reb abush it's not a coincidence that he is the one who says this Insight he is the one who says this V says the Reb abush I want to tell you his answer but first I want to give you by background a story I may have said this story recently here in the para class might have been in the Amun here I don't remember I don't recall and I ask you to indulge me forgiveness if I did say it recently it is well worth repeating the story of a man who once came to the Reb be the maget of mezich and he said you know the gar tells us that the same way you make a when something is good you won the lottery you got the job you made the you have great news you bought a house you have a baby you make a you make a for the good you also have to make a when something bad happens and he said what do you mean how could the possibly say shame same energy the same enthusiasm the same mentality the attitude kame the same way how is that possible how could one bring the same attitude so the mag of mezich the great rebit of do heard the question he said you know that's a very positive very powerful question I want you to go see my tal my disciple my the go to anapoli and I only he can help you ask him this question he's the only one who can satisfy you with an answer go to him and ask him the question so the Reb abush received his guest warmly invited him to make himself at home offered something to eat and drink as you would expect and then the visitor decided it was time to challenge so he watched rusha and he concluded that his his holy host in fact exemplified this teaching because Rush had suffered so much in his life he was a very poor man there were times where he had nothing to eat times he was at risk of losing his home his family had all kinds of illnesses and afflictions had all kinds of challenges and tragedies and suffering and yet the reab rusha always had a smile he was always positive he always had a positive demeanor he was always cheerful and he was always expressing gratitude aov to Theon the almighty so what happened the visitor finally got the courage and the strength and he turns to the Reb abush and he says you know I had this question and I went to the mag of Mez to ask it he said I had to come to you you're the only one who could give an answer and my question was what do you mean the same way that you make a on the good is the same attitude and mentality the same passion enthusiasm you should make a br on the bed and the rebha turned to his guest and he said I don't understand it's a good question but why would the maged send you to me I've never suffered a day in my life I've never had a moment of raw in my life and the this this disciple understood that indeed the rebush was the right address to answer the question what do you mean k if you go into your life with such a sense of faith if your attitude is that none of it is suffering it doesn't mean that there aren't painful things that happen to us there are painful things that happen but if we absorb them and integrate them if they come or they're they're seen through the filter that everything that hasem does is for the good that there is a reason that there's meaning and purpose and order to the universe that though they may be painful that they are not bad because all that Hashem does is by definition good if a person is able to within themselves extraordinarily challenging not to minimize or diminish or make it sound easy extraordinarily challenging but if a person could reach that level of the Reb a person could live that life and say I've never had a bad day in my life I don't know what you're talking about I don't know why the maged sent you to me I've never actually had a bad day in my life so if a person has that attitude then and that's exactly what the answers this question whatever s endured whatever she went through even if it was challenging and even if it was painful she understood it's all from Hashem it's all by Design it's all for a reason it all therefore makes sense and therefore Sarah never wavered in her faith Sarah never paused or hesitated for sarahu all 127 years were good does it mean they were all good of course not we just gave several examples where they weren't good and yet she received them she experienced them as if they were all good because they were from Hashem and whatever is from Hashem is by definition for the good so therefore you see this wasn't only s IMU we'll get to it I hope but this was also the attitude of her life partner of her husband when aam loses his life partner Sarah and he's essentially rendered irrelevant afterwards salich points out that after Sarah leaves Aram lives significantly longer and yet we hear nothing from him because without his other half he is incomplete and he doesn't have the impact the influence that he once had before and yet is he debilitated is he at a loss does he challenge him does he walk away no what does the p describe right after Aram takes care of burying his wife the very next section page 108 chter 24 verse one B AB had reached a rip old age and Hashem blessed AB B before you get to rash grias and what b means the simple understanding is that a had an attitude throughout his life not only in the joys the triumphs the successes but even after a moment of grief and loss like s was her whole life is all equal good good not in the sense that it was pleasurable there were painful moments but good in the sense that if it all comes from God then by definition it is good similarly had an attitude of that experience to everything as if it comes from Hashem then by definition it is good co he has everything he has everything Hashem has determined he should have and that is the attitude and that is the life he led why do I launch why do I begin with that far Tor first of all because I think it's very beautiful I think it's very powerful and I think it is a level that we can be ambitious and strive to achieve in our lives of even the moments of hardship or challenge to realize it's from hasem and therefore to receive it all as the to live a life to get to a level of but also because I want to share with you an Insight of Chief Rabbi Lord Jonathan saak the world lost what a terrible terrible and difficult weekend it was for cl is and more than just for cl is for the world the loss of David Feinstein the PO of America sadic we are lost we are bereft without his humble and modest leadership and guidance in and the world lost Rabbi Lord Jonathan saaks who I think is someone so IR placeable I'm not going to take the time to offer my humble impressions of what it means that we lost him what it means that we lost him I don't know how many of you listening live or afterwards print out his V Torah on the par every week what will be stuck in our Talis bag or what will make an appearance at our shabas table what will make sense out of contemporary events or what will give us a charge for leadership in our lives without him he was so unusual and I have many thoughts but not for now but I want to share with you the following and I can't do it justice by repeating it so I'm going to do something unusual I've never done which is I want to share for you here in the paraa class but I want to share it him in his own words around three years ago January 2018 Rabbi saaks came to our community to fulfill a promise he had made because of a certain episode that had happened and he came to speak and there was a reception in my house and at the time I had been thinking about starting a podcast and I said uh to him could he grant me a few minutes to interview because I thought I was going to do a podcast meanwhile that recording sat in my phone and I did nothing with it for three years but learning the devastating news of his loss I went back and listened to that recording and determined I had to share it with the world in yesterday I posted it and as everything is basher in life nothing is coincidental that it wasn't par that he came here to speak it was January 2018 but for some reason in that conversation one of the questions I asked he answered by invoking an Insight from Pas the very week where the shabas in which we are are uh mourning him in which his sh Falls in which the world feels his absence so rather than try to repeat it in his name I want you to listen to his own words and I want you to listen to it against the backdrop of Kul sh Lova Rak suffered cancer twice in his life before he finally was lost to it this past shabas he suffered from cancer twice he had hardship and yet you listen to his voice and you listen to his unwavering faith and it is reminiscent of the re it is reminiscent of the attitude of s that they were all equal for the good it's reminiscent and it invokes the image of so I wish I could play you the whole thing it's much better use of your time than listening to me this morning but I just want to play you this part where he talks about the Insight from I hope you can hear it sa you are a a Beacon of Faith you promote Faith you teach faith and you've inspired faith not only in the Jewish community and among the Jewish people but around the world and my first question is do you ever struggle with faith do you ever feel that you confront doubt and in those moments of uncertainty what do you do to overcome it look let me be very blunt with you I've had many crisis of faith I have never had a crisis of faith in AES in God I have had many many crisis of faith in humanity as soon as I began to understand the Holocaust as soon as I began to understand that this took place at the heart of civilized Europe it was not some third world country or some medieval century and the biggest question of faith that I have is outc come knowing all this would happen I barle had faith in us but I never like faith in God because I never expected The Impossible from him I know perfectly well that he put each of us here for a reason and we are supposed to discern that and walk on ahead for me the critical moment that Define my faith was para's k s begins with the death of Sarah there is Abraham having lost his life companion he is now 137 he has received from Hashem three promises number one I will give you the L he promis promised him that seven times number two I will give you children four times I will make you a great nation that may as many as the stars of the sky as the sand on the seashore I will make you not one nation but many nations and he had one son where was the father of many nations where was the infinite number of descendants and what did he do at that moment when he should have had crisis of Faith he understood that God said walk on ahead of me Dimension so what did he do he bought the first plot of lad he made sure his son got married so that he would have Jewish grandchildren and then in that strange episode he takes an additional wife whose name is Cura and he has six more children who become the fathers of many nations in other words instead of expecting God to do it for him he realized that God was expecting him to do the hard work for Hashem once I understood that I never ever had a crisis of Faith sorry to disappoint you not at all that's very uh it's very inspiring when when you're there's a lot more and a lot worth listening to to even hear his voice again is is so powerful and painful and and as I said for another context another time to hear the reflections but that that to me what a powerful Insight rabak was sharing that one doesn't ever have a crisis of faith in hem if we realize that we don't work that he doesn't work for us we work for him that that we have to walk in front of him that we have to be in front of him and be with him that that is our mission that is our mandate that is our responsibility and despite all he had been through rabak he never had a crisis of faith in hem only had crisis of faith in in other people all that is Torah number one Insight number one moving right along I want to show with you an Insight we've been learning together the wonderful saer of May Dr great rash today in and he has a beautiful Insight here rash tells us passes away in which is comes in order to eulogize for for Sarah and to cry he cries of course the sense of loss of Sarah and he offers a a eulogy for her Z as we begin with why are we connecting what is the beginning s's death why is it adjacent why is it ju opposed to the story of the what is the connection between the two so Rashi tells us the story that when s heard of the close call just how close a call it was that y almost died because of the AA she expired she left this world one why does Rashi bring that Insight the Insight of the Jos of the AA to the death of Sarah why does Rashi provide that Insight that teaching specifically on the words why does rash bring that teaching on the words that came to UL and cry when should Rashi have brought that Insight rashi's Insight should have been elucidating the words SAS AR Sarah died what was the cause of death her hearing about the story of the AA why do rashu wait to share that Insight of the cause of death until the words that aam came came to eulogize his wife and to cry for her good question the mukashi from those who are careful scrupulous those who look carefully in studying Rashi that question should arise so say in when did the AA end the AA began when Hashem tapped him on the shoulder and said I want you to go I need to ask you to do something when did the AA end if you would have asked me maybe the AA ended when the angel called out and said stop drop the knife don't do it maybe the AKA ended when he found the ram caught in its horns and instead shed the ram maybe the AA ended when yak and ab hand in hand arm in arm walk away from this harrowing experience forever change together but I would have said the AA ended somewhere in there at the end of the AA sayra the truth is that the test of Thea did not end when they walked down from the mountain because what was the result what was the consequence of Thea when a came down from that mountain and when a arrived home and when Aram got the news the devastating tragic news that his life partner that his other half sorrow was gone and what was her cause of death she had heard of the close call of the a lesser person a lesser person than a ainu how would they have reacted what would they have thought a lesser person would have said to themselves oh my goodness what did I just do what happened what is the consequence I should have never done it I should have never listened I should have told Hashem I can't cross that line I should have never taken my y I should have never kept sah in the dark but ainu instead never wavered even after he understood or learned of the consequence of what it cost him Aram understood that When God Says jump you say how high and ab understood that if sah died it wasn't because of him it was her time to go because AES feared the velt the almighty runs the world say the test of the did not end when he got down from the mountain the test of the AA indeed continued when he arrived home to find out about the loss of SAR and the test continued in challenging him how would he react how would he react to this news to this hardship the death of s is the continuation the literal continuation of the test of the the fact that he had no regret that was the completion that was the Fulfillment that was the conclusion of the test of the AK not when they came down from the mountain but only when they arrived home to find out that news say now we understand why did Rashi specifically bring this teaching of the connection the Jos of the AA to the death of s on the words to eulogize S and to cry because it was specifically in that sense of grief and loss it was specifically in his eulogizing and his crying where the continuation of the AO went on the test continued so therefore Rashi specifically brings the teaching that the cause of death was the AA on the words that he grieved and he cried and he mourned and he eulogized Sarah to teach us that that sense of loss was in fact a continuation of the experience of the AA the test of the AA did not end when he came down from the mountain the test of the AA continued I'll tell you I've seen elsewhere the similar idea that ruk is sharing here that tells us this are the words that we say every night when we make the in our daving and we say if you've been with me you know I love this Insight my favorite Tor I'm gonna share and I'm not going to apologize for it I love them they inspire me I hope they inspire you and if you don't like it I believe in recycling what can I tell you I'm a recyclers so what do we understand remove the Satan REM remove the evil urge remove the appetite for that which is wrong remove the voice of thear the Satan milu I got it the rest of my day I'm gonna be tempted to eat the wrong thing say the wrong thing look at the wrong thing go the wrong I got it there's a su there's a voice of Temptation that is attracting me milu in front of me what is the what is the voice of the Satan behind me if it's behind me what kind of Satan is it if it's behind me and I've already passed it then what way am I still Challen by it how could there be a how could there be a challenging voice which is so I saw in several places this exact Insight you know what the is what how do we react in life when we do the right thing but it doesn't work out in the right way we did the right thing but you know what despite what we were taught Sometimes When We're Young doing the right thing the honest thing doesn't always pay it doesn't sometimes times when you do the honest thing or the right thing it doesn't pay will you regret having done the honest thing there's a journal of Education of Jewish Education called T and there was once an article in there that I saw that had the following discussion or question you know the Min is that if a student brings a test up to the teacher and says you know you marked a wrong answer correct you gave me too many points what do most teachers do most teachers say you know what because you were honest and because you brought it to my attention and because you step forward keep the points I'm not going to deduct them I'm not going to take them off and this article in this Jewish educational Journal suggested that that's a terrible mistake it's an it's a loss of a of a teachable moment why because you know if you go to the IRS and you say you know by accident you let me keep too much money they don't say you know what keep it you go to the store and you say you know by accident you gave me too much change they don't say you know what you were honest keep the change in life honesty we're not honest because it pays because the truth is most of the time in life honesty doesn't pay when you do the honest thing it costs you when you return the money that you were over uh were given too much in change it doesn't pay we're not honest because it pays we're honest because we're supposed to be honest that was the article of this author the argument of this author so remove the voice of Temptation before me but also remove the voice from behind me that even after I've done the right thing but I've done the right thing and the right thing didn't pay the right thing didn't pay off so maybe now I'm going to regret it maybe now I'm gonna wish I didn't do it maybe now I'm gonna wish I could turn back time that's the and that's the the test of the N of a continued it wasn't over when he came down the mountain it continued all the way through the episode of Sarah and says Dr now we can understand another anomaly in this the P says the of alosa he got the devastating news that his wife had passed away so what did he do he eulogized her and then he cried and I ask you is that the order is that the order the family of DAV Feinstein zal the family and the world who lost Lord saxs zat did we first offer eulogies and only then cry or does one react by crying wailing and only then compose themselves to deliver a eulogy what is the correct order shouldn't it say he first came and then why is it out of order it's a famous question many many many answers are given say but now we can understand he says you're right if you didn't know the deceased first you eulogize and then when You' come to learn about the deceased then you cry but when you know the deceased when she was your other half she was your life partner shouldn't you cry first and then the is testifying to the greatness of why because he withstood this of the until its end not just when he got down the mountain but he withstood the challenge of the all the way through when he came home to find out about s if he would have begun to cry before he eulogized an onlooker an observer might have erroneously concluded why is afim crying why is he crying he's not crying about the loss of Sarah he's crying because he made such a mistake listening to God to do the AA had he cried before the eulogy one might have mistakenly concluded that the cause of his crying is regret for the AKA that's why the Torah tells us first to eulogized he held back and suppressed the tears and he only cried after the eulogy why because he wanted to make clear that the source of his tears was not regret for the AKA he was whole with having done the AKA he F he surpassed that test all the way to its end what was the source of the tears the source of the tears was crying for the loss of his beloved of his beloved wife s and that's why the P seems to be out of order in this in this way okay that's the first R Dr we're going to mention today moving right along tells us so finds out that s had in fact died and what does he have to do next he has to buy a burial plot he has to be able to bury his beautiful wife his life partner his other half SAR so what does he do he negotiates he negotiates with this used car salesman with his Faker fraud phony named Eon e says much and does little he makes empty offers and gestures and AR's got put up with it R we've shared before R says this was the 10th test of a 10th test was not the AA the 10th test of a was would he lose his cool in having to deal and negotiate with an eon all of us interact with those people who have no they don't negotiate in good faith they get under our skin they're horrible people will we lose our cool will we lose our humanity and our integnity and our dignity aru didn't even though he had every reason in the world too and in that way he passed that 10th test so he negotiates with his e and what's the negotiation Eon says listen Mister a land worth 400 silver what's it between us as bury your dead and and 400 she what is it between us and rash here fills in again we've looked at this in depth other times you could listen to the Past par I'm not going to get into it now where Ephron says I want to give it to you for free and AR says I want to pay he says no I want it for free but what's 4 to which a understands that he named the price because he doesn't really ever want to give it for free he was a total don't be don't don't don't say a lot and do little but rather am more say little say and do much so the vision of says the I don't understand comes rashi rashi in the PK says they e turns to a and says 400 what is it between friends what is it between us it's nothing just pay it and you'll have land to bury your beloved what is between two friends who love one another what's 400 it's Gish it's nothing so ask the vision first had to identify who owned the land then he goes to the people the people and he says where's Ephron and he's first meeting Ephron to have this negotiation this is their first time meeting so why would the PK why would ephon describe them as ohavim that they are beloved friends how could they be beloved what's beloved about them or what's beloved between them when they're meeting for the very first time how did they suddenly become such dear friends this is the question of the great vision so he answers what e meant is not not we are beloved friends but we both love something I happen to Love Money says ephon and you happen love for me I love money so 400 it's Gish it's nothing it's negligible it's a rounding error for me who loves money it's nothing for you for you who loves MIT so there's no it's it's invaluable there's no money you wouldn't pay to perform a Mitzvah in so says the vision says that's what e was saying what was saying not that we are beloved to one another but between two people who love something I love money you love mitzvos the deal works out I Love Money 400 you love mitzvos you're happy to pay that it's a bargain for it so what is it between us expl explains that oim is not describing their relationship that they were beloved between the two but rather oim is describing that they both love something and because they both love something what are you willing to give up for that which you love for Ephron his love of money he's willing to give up his Integrity for his love of mitzvos he's willing to give up his money what are you willing to give up for that thing that you love we'll get to this later when we get to Lan momentarily what are you willing to sell out what are you sellout for for that which you for that which you love yeah as Sarah comments transactional not relational it wasn't about a relationship between Eon and aam it was purely transactional it was something that was purely a transaction we both love things so it's a deal that works out for both I love money and you love mitzvos which one are we how would we be characterized as loving money or loving mitzvos can you love both or are they in Conflict maybe you can't love maybe you can't love both mahu you know along these same lines many have explained we learn we learn you know gives a ring to a under the and they're betroth they're married theis in the first step of marriage is he gives her something of value either money although we don't do that or something that's sh something that's equal to money something that is a value like money sh and where do we learn that in fact a marriage can be enacted where do we learn that betral can take place through one giving the other the giving the kala sh of the value of a money a ring we learn here in the section of the purchase it says take the money and when it comes to marriage it says since the same verb is used in both context just like the purchase of the M was with money so too the acquisition or the securing the relationship of marriage can be done with money so the question is asked could there be a less romantic idea a could there be a less romantic idea than learning from the purchase of could you imagine standing under the and dear you give the Kal the ring and where do we learn that this works we learn it because sah dropped dead and a had a burier and it he buy some plot in the cemetery in Earth is there a least romantic thing than talking about death at the moment of marriage so one answer is the answer is you know the notion of till death do us part starts with us that's ours we learn from a that at the moment of marriage you have to be prepared till death do us part it's not a disposable relationship you're not going to turn it in like the car lease you're not going to upgrade like your phone you don't upgrade to a newer model when it comes to a spouse till death do us part where do we learn the moment ofto the the and should each have a mentality of till death do us part we're in this all the way it's not an experiment we're not trying it's not disposable it's not temporary it's not a lease we're going to up upgade or turn in but rather till death do us part this is permanent and forever but the second understanding that's brought down by some is this this Vision what's the vision of we both love things two people who love things what's the difference so when Efron walked away from the deal what did he say says the reason he said this is because he loved money but forget the reason he said it what did he say he said boy did I get the better end of that deal 400 chef this universal currency I can use anywhere 400 Chef boy did I get the better end of the deal I took him for a ride I got the better end of the deal Bo did I walk away making a killing and when a walked away because a was mitz and he said I want this this is the place that I want to spend eternity with my wife afam said boy did I get the B 400 she KF I would have paid quadruple that boy did I get the better end of the deal just like when it came to the sale of the M each one said I got the better end of the deal similarly when it comes to marriage each one needs to say I got the better end of the deal a good marriage is BET is where both people feel they're getting the better end of the deal when each one feels they married up when each one feels they got a steal when each one feels they got the better end of the deal that in fact is a good marriage and that is what and that is what uh what we're learning from this so that's the two people who love things you love money I love mitzvos each one thinks they got the better end of the deal when we get married the beautiful marriage is where both feel they got the end better end of the deal in my marriage there's no question by far I married up and got the better end of the deal okay moving right along per b b we mentioned before that had reached the ripe old age and he's whatever that means he's on in years and hasem blessed him with everything so what does he realize he's got a son he may have lost his wife it's tried time to pass the mantle of leadership it's time to hand off the Baton how's he gonna do it as rabak Z said and we played that recording for you he said I need continuity I need Jewish an I need to know that everything I've given my life for has a sense of continuation we know this is A's priority how do we know that we shared it last week why does love now because of the thousands and millions of people who he helped convert and he inspired he changed the world why does he love AB Hashem loves AB because AB is committed to continuity of his values of his people Hashem loves AB because AB is committed to a continuity of this experiment called the Jewish people ethical monotheism because a wants to have Jewish he wants Jewish grandchildren and great grandchild and that's why he loves him so says how am I going to do it not going to happen through is so how's gonna happen needs a wife and he summons elzar we all know the story and he makes elzar swear you need to hold on to a Mitzvah in order to take an oath and so therefore he instructs elazar to hold the Mak Mitzvah Mak and to make a promise and what's the look at rash says rash so you have to hold on in order to make a and what's the promise he makes elazar make a promise promise me you're going to fulfill this y needs a wife and it cannot be from the canani it needs to be from my family canani are morally corrupt morally decayed morally deprived absolutely not can't be from the canani make me that promise don't come back and if you can't come back empty-handed that too is a fulfillment of the promise but whatever you do do not find a wife for y among the canani make me that promise now isn't it interesting briser salich points out isn't it interesting elezar is aam's loyal servant what role does elzar have in aram's house what role is he in aram's house Torah tells us his loyal servant Aram was an extraordinarily wealthy man and elazar was his financial adviser elezar had all the passwords elezar knew the code to the safety deposit box to the safe in the house Eleazar had access to all the accounts Eleazar was in charge of all of A's money and you understand what's happening here aam says that aam says I trust you with my money but I can't trust you with my son's life my continuity without a promise we don't find in the Torah that a makes Eleazar take a shua take an oath to be in charge of his money but he does have to take an oath to be in charge of his continuity of his spirituality of his spiritual succession you see from here said brisker the priority again in contrast to Efron and in contrast we'll see in a moment to love even though aam had extraordinary wealth it didn't Define him it doesn't mean he was flipping to Casual with it he cared about it he safeguarded it but he didn't make elezar take an oath about the money he only made elazar take an oath when it came to his spiritual succession and continuity when it came to this promise that is the Insight of Reb K brisker now why did he need that promise or oath did elazar have other plans did elazar have other have other ideas and by the way when it comes to this I saw um I saw somebody when they were referencing that R brisker aser Brer when he was referencing that brand that R brisker he said his grandmother used to reference the Jews of America the Jews of America Who hide their money from their housekeeper but let the housekeeper raise their children it's the opposite of aino they hide the money from the housekeeper they're worried the housekeeper is going to steal the money but they have no problem that the housekeeper is the one raising the children was the opposite you don't have to make me any promises when it comes to managing my money but when it comes to managing my children I need you to take a shua I need you to take an oath that's where the bar is much higher that's where the standard is much greater it's a great Insight of that that Bubby of that grandmother so Rashi skip ahead in the story elezar goes on this Mission and Ela makes a deal with God and El says if I see this character trait within her then I know she's the one and so on and so forth and he meets Rifka Rifka takes her home and it's time for the negotiation and what does the PK say the PK says peric skipping away ahead page 116 the artar is repeating the whole story when he gets to see Buel and Lan when he gets to rifka's brother and father he's repeating the whole background the whole story and the Torah by the way could have been much more efficient could have used his space much more efficiently Torah go out of it way to repeat the entire story a second time even though we all already know it we'll come back to why in a moment so what does alzar say to so I said to my master he's repeating the whole conversation my master called me in one day and he said I need you to go find this a wife for my son Y and he made me take a promise and I told him I said Master boss man what happens if I can't find a woman there and my boss told me and so I said I'm sorry what if I find her but what if she's not willing to follow me what if I find her and she meets the criteria and she is the one but she's not willing to follow me home what then so Rashi comes along on the word and says Rashi rash says Rashi if you look at the wordi is spelled it's not spelled the way you'd expect it it's spelled Al now the word Al can be read either II or it can be read what AI oi means perhaps what if what if I find her but she doesn't follow me homei means to me El you know elzar also had a daughter who was holding in as they say and and elzar really had this underlying motivation Eleazar really had this backup plan you know I'll humor my boss I'll go on this trip I'll go on this Mission I'll look for a wife for for but you know who' really make a great a great match for you know who elzar really hopes in the end of the day is going to be the one his own daughter his own daughter and when got wind of this he says my son is blessed and you're among those who are cursed and those who are cursed and blessed they don't mix that's an intermarriage I'm unwilling I'm unwilling so the gr comes along and the gr asks I don't understand what's going on in Rashi here where did Rashi know this where did the know this the says was that a legit legate concern of Eleazar was it not legitimate for him to say to his boss what happens if I find the right girl she doesn't want to come you can't force someone to get married who doesn't want to get married even no matter how much you think she's your Basher so what if I conclude she's the Basher she meets all the criteria she passes all the tests but what happens if she doesn't want to come isn't that a legitimate question elzar is posing how did Abraham know from the question that and how does the Toto know from the question that elezar really had ulterior motives that in asking that question maybe she won't come he wasn't just posing a theoretical question he was offering a prayer his hope and His Wish was she won't come and then y will marry my daughter who is waiting so the vnon ansers very interestingly says the Von we have two words to say perhaps two words to say maybe what are the two words pen and Pen Andi pen for example we say every day protect yourself pen lest you follow your heart or guard yourself be careful lest you forget everything I've told you today there the use of the word pen means perhaps lest the second word that we can use though is not pen but says to last week take Hagar as a wife maybe I can feel maybe I can be built maybe I can experience continuity through her or also in last week's para turns to God and he says maybe there are 50 men maybe 50 45 40 when do you use pen and when do you use a when does the Torah use pen and when does it use if it means the same thing so listen to the sight of the grow says the go the Torah uses pen to describe when someone really doesn't want something it's something we don't want to have happen is used when you want the thing to happen so Sarah saysi maybe Huger will have children and I'll have continuity through her II maybe so pen is a maybe where I don't want the maybe to happen and aai is the maybe where that's exactly what I want says I hope there are 50 righteous men Li maybe maybe there are 50 righteous men Li I want that to have happen so it says the girl pen means maybe but I don't want it to happen means maybe and it's exactly what I want and because elzar used the wordai that's how Torah that's how aam knew that elzar had notari motive maybe she won't follow me not maybe but I hope she follows me oi maybe she won't follow me maybe and really I hope she won't follow me and why because he had his own daughter that was his motivation that's what he that's what he wanted but there's still one more question to ask so we saw Rashi the gr's question and the gr's brilliant Insight the difference between pen Andi and therefore Eleazar he tipped his hat he played his hand he made it clear that he really had this Superior motive that he really wanted y for his daughter RI his daughter which also explains why aam was so insistent that a shua that an oath be taken but there's one more question is this the first time that we see Alazar saying maybe she won't come when does Rashi make this comment Rashi is making this comment when elzar is busy telling Buel and Lavon about the whole original conversation with aam when should Rashi have made this comment back on Pake Pake is go back to page 110 Pake is the original conversation says I need you to go on a mission I need you to come back with a Girlz says but what if she doesn't want to come why didn't Rashi at the original conversation jump in and say elzar's got ulterior motives why does he wait until now why does he wait until now so the great Kar the great katar men Morgan the great kutar explains that elzar to the best of his knowledge was sincere elazar didn't even realize his own ulterior motive it was only subconsciously when he gets there and he meets rifa that he reflects back to that conversation does he realize that subconsciously from the very beginning he was trying to create a different outcome subconsciously he had an ulterior motive all along says the katba when he set out on the mission he was sincere he hadn't even thought about it only now does he reflect and realize retroactively that subconsciously it's what he wanted all along theob ketki has a similar insight about l in last week's par wondering why when he goes to Stone Rashi the pic says that why does he go to Stone because his eyes drawn there for the water he wants to go for the water zashi why does he go there don't read water is water read water is Aras promiscuity so one doov why does the Torah tell us an ulterior re reason than the one given by the Torah the Torah tells you why he was drawn there why give another reason soov says because listen to this just like when it comes to interpreting the Torah we have four layers or levels of interpretation called par remes and S my son-in-law K called my attention to this yob he told me this beautiful yob just like when it comes to interpreting the Torah there are four layers or levels of interpretation so to when it comes to ourselves and understanding ourselves there are multiple layers to our own personality attitude to our wants and needs this Z the remes the and the S so yes theat of what was lot's motivation was water but you know what the hidden reason was Aros the real reason what drove him promiscuity lenti justness immorality corruption and that's what says rash is telling us just like in interpreting the P there are layers of interpretation so to incoming to know ourselves and interpret ourselves there are layers of who we are there's what we claim to want in the conscious and there's what is driving us in the subconscious it is very very uh this emov works perfectly L with the katar's Insight over here what's going on with elzer that there are multiple layers of what drives us of who we are and the greater self-awareness the more knowledge we have have of ourselves the better we understand ourselves so here in this conversation we're introduced to this character is a very nefarious Wicked is a very Twisted a terrible terrible person so Lan sees that elzar is dripping with jewelry dripping with wealth and he sees the money and he says sh marrying for money it works well just like we saw Efron o he loved money so too loves money so he says come why are we having this whole conversation outside he tells elzar with his Entourage and all his money come inside and how can you come inside because P why was are not willing to go inside and what did Lan do to change that to make it a much more amenable to make it much more inviting I made room in the house how did he make room would he take a couch out how did he make room he pushed the furniture to the corner what does it mean he made room what does it mean he made [Music] room I got rid of the idolatry I got rid of the idolatry elezar was hesitant reluctant elzar was staying out outside because he wouldn't go into a house with idolatry and love on understanding this says I want the sh the dollar signs at the end of the sh so he says P I got rid of the idolatry you're free to come in come inside the house says the altar of kelm the alar of naric rather the alar of naric a magnificent Insight my buddy shy Stern shared that with me this morning the alar of naric says an incredible Insight you know what it means says the altar love unsold his ideology for money you know aara was the wrong answer aara was the wrong destination but at least he had a religion when you sell your religion for money you have nothing you stand for nothing so he had aara in the house why he was anara it was the wrong religion but at least he was religious but now all of a sudden he sees elazar and elzar has all this money this Entourage this Fame and he says I can tap into that I can access that a with that money can be mine says the n I've sold out I've sold my ideology I sold my religion I sold my faith for this money that was Ephron Ephron loved money while AB loved mitzvos and Lan laan loves money so much so he's willing to sell his religion and sell his faith again in contrast to a and that's the Insight of B gave that Co to who gave it to yob we say in our benching we want that whatever we have we have everything when says I have a lot yov says Co I have everything you know we don't have this thirst the sensationable appetite for money whatever we have from hasem it's what we're meant to have so it's a brilliant Insight of the AL of n that I've emptied the house I've emptied my moral bank account I've emptied my ideology and my religious convictions I've emptied it all out I've sold out why for money that was lan that was the character of Lan that he was able to and willing to sell out for money I'll end with one more which one should I do I have so many beautiful insights here beautiful insight about we'll do that another year I'll end with the following comes back from this Mission it's a successful Mission Rifka comes and marries Yak y brings her into the tent and he loves her in the wrong order we've spoken about that before we think that first you have to fall in love then you get married first he marries her and the love only comes later why because what what love really is is not lust can come infatuation can come like can come but love can only come later and that's why the PK seemingly is out of order but I want to go back to this tells all the things that what all the things that he had done says Rashi he tells him all the things that he had done says Rashi G he shared all the Miracles that happened for him it should have been a three day should have been a 17 day journey I think whatever the number was it should have been a long journey it happened in three hours and that RKA was the answer to his prayers so says that I don't understand why did elzar present to Good News Mission successful mission accomplished Listen to I've accomplished all the things that I did I were from he should have said listen to all the things not that I did listen to all the things that were done for me why does he misrepresent it and take credit for it says the following the answer is in the last word of that Rashi what does Rashi explain that elzar tells let me tell you everything I did and then he lists all the Miracles that happened to him but they happened to me why because I D for them because he DAV for them he is considered as if he's the one who brought them when a person davens properly then you get credit for the result true is the source of the result but you were the one who opened the flow that Storehouse you created that connection you enabled Hashem to bring that change not the way it appears on the surface that is done is brought about by the one who did it the the doing is the act of doing essentially the way I understand of Dr and the message I think for us is you know we often Davin for things and then we move ahead we move right on and we don't pause to say thank you we don't see that our daving was answered the Miracles of today are the positive answer of the of the prayer of yesterday do we ever pause to say thank you my prayers are answered my prayers are answered so when he's relaying all these Miracles what he's essentially saying is listen to all the things I did meaning I DAV for and that came about because of my davening listen to ashem answered our Tas wishing everyone a wonderful day stay happy healthy and holy tomorrow morning we continue with M 8:15 and living with am at 8:45 going behind the be at 900m have a wonderful wonderful day