Parashat Yitro - Can one really control their thoughts? - Rabbi Alon Anava

[Music] one of the most special parachute in the Torah, the para that is called the Torah. And that's the para when we get the Torah and that's pretty much the highlight of the entire Torah. when the entire Torah is called on it. That's when we came to house and got the Torah. So you would think that this would be one of the most powerful paras which is is we get the ten commandments and amazingly there's so much more to talk about about each commandment but I chose to talk about today the last commandment which the last commandment ismod and is a very very severe commandment and what is so is basically not to desire something that doesn't belong to you and most of the they say is not not to have jealousy jealousy is a very severe sin And but the Torah goes in length and it says what not to what should I not have jealousy? What should I not desire something that doesn't belong to me? So it tells me the house of your friend, the wife of your friend, his animal, his servant, but basically it's telling me not to want or desire something that doesn't belong to me. and bazadm will talk about it more today but there's a big question in it I mean a lot of the desiring so to say is done in my thought and most of it is done in my thought so how can the Torah tell me to control my thoughts that's a pretty it's a pretty tough request tell me not to steal not to kill not to to eat something that is not kosher I mean that's with my body I can somehow control my body. But you're asking me know to to control my thoughts. That's a it's a pretty tough one. Now, most people they connect the to not to think of somebody else as a spouse of a man to think of a woman, a woman to think of a man. That's really where it boils down to. Even though covers a whole list of other things, but one of the main things that the Torah concentrates is not to think of somebody else's spouse. So there's always a big question. Who, excuse me, who is the most uh I wouldn't say faithful man in history, but who is the man who always had thoughts only for his wife in history? Can you think of anyone? A man that was so loyal that he could only have thoughts for one woman. Amen. I'll tell you because no there was no other women. There was only one woman. There was only one woman. Her name was Kava. Her original name was Kaya. And there was nobody else to look at. So he was the only man in history and I can't testify but probably one of the only men in history that only looked at his wife and only thought about his wife and didn't think about other people's wives or other other women out there. Why? Because there was no other women there. So he didn't have that problem. So Kaba was pretty lucky. The reality is that when the Torah comes and tells me, it's telling me not to want something that doesn't belong to me. And most cases, it's talking about a man or a woman looking at the other gender and saying, "Ah, I wish I could have married him. He seems like a much better man. He seems like a much more honest man. She looks much more pretty. I I wish I if I wouldn't marry my wife, maybe she would have been a better choice. I mean, that's a pretty common thought, as sad as it sounds. And worse than that, we're not going to go into descriptions what other thoughts can come to a man or a woman's mind, but that's where it starts at. So, of course, there's a very big question. How does the Torah expect me to control my thoughts? I can understand how I I I'm requested to control my body, but my thoughts, it's a big question. But this question breaks into two questions. First of all, how how can I control my thoughts? Is it possible to control thoughts? So there's a first question is how can I control my thoughts? Now when I'm asking how can I control my thoughts, I'm talking about how can I make control my thoughts that are negative, not my positive thoughts. To control positive thoughts, it's kind of easy. Although a lot of people are in a such a bad state of mind that there majority of their day are bad thoughts and and it's hard for them to control to even have a good thought. But the main question is how can I control bad thoughts? I walk in the street and I see something happening. I right away judge the person wrong. A person said something against me and I heard it now from a third party. How can I control my thoughts? Not to have a bad thought about that person that slanders me or my daughter comes from school and tells me that person did listen like that. How can I not control my bad thoughts? So this is the first question. But the second question is why? Why should I control my bad thoughts? What's so bad about having bad thoughts? Tell me not to kill. I understand taking somebody's life. Tell me not to steal. To steal somebody's property, you're telling me not to control my thoughts. Who cares? It's my thoughts. It's in my head. Nobody sees it. Nobody knows. Let me fantasize about whatever I want. Why? Why do you care if I'm controlling my thoughts or not? Big deal. So, I don't want to like you and I think I don't think you're a nice person. I don't want to tell it to you. What's the wrong with me controlling my thoughts? It's my own thoughts. Let me live in my own thoughts. Reality. Wait, first of all, you're very right. But that's you're you are one out of many that don't realize that. A lot of people say, "What's wrong with my thoughts?" You're 100% right. But the majority of people say, "Well, my thoughts are stuck in my brain. Let it stay there. doesn't bother anybody. So first of all, let's make a little bit of sed in the parasa. So finally after weeks and months and many events we finally get to harai after we left mitime after all the plagues after all the miracles after all the the nishion the tests we finally get to house. We do what we need to do and we finally stand in front of Hashem. Hashem decides to narrow down the entire Torah into 10 sentences. A little bit more than 10 sentences, but ten commandments. It's not exactly 10 sentences, but four commandments are in one sentence. So, I'm saying in general 10 sentences, even though it's not accurate, there's more sentences. But the point is that the kadu decides to narrow down the Torah into 10 rules, 10 major rules. And he says, "Let's start with them. Later on, we'll develop them." And this commandment is the 10th commandment, which one might say, okay, the 10th is the least important. that really if one might say that exact same idea then the first should be the most important that's what most people would think and it will go by hierarchy the reality is that all the ten commandments are important one is not more important than the other one cannot say okay you know today I'm going to decide not to kill because it's one before not to steal the reality that all the commandments are important but there is a connection in their position there's a reason why each one came in their position or in their hierarchy and is number 10. Now first of all we have to understand that a person that constantly his mind is thinking of something else that doesn't belong to him that already blocks him from first of all liking another person which means if I'm constantly jealous about somebody but he has more money she's more pretty his wife is like this her husband is like that then I am not leaving any space to like anybody else and doesn't matter if I'm all day long not liking people or if some part of the I'm not liking people. If I'm jealous at somebody else, then by default it already pushes the option of me liking other people which in in essence that's already disturbing me to doing my I cannot serve God without having love to another person. If you go half a kilometer down the the road to the grave of the it says next to his c next to his grave I'm hereby accepting on myself a positive mitzvah a positive commandment from the Torah that I have to love another person and in many of the especially in the of then we start the prayer by saying I'm accepting on myself this positive mitzvah which means I can't even come and start serving God without accepting the mitzvah of loving another person. So if I'm busy once or twice or 50 times a day hating another person by wanting what they have, that's already a big problem in my Abu Datashm. Now, here comes the the secret so to say of this commandment that if you read the commandment in this para in the last five commandments is are all the law. two words and what not to do in it starts going it goes into to a description. How come he's not saying that to me? He should have said, right? That just tells me don't kill the Torah is very clear enough. It doesn't tell me descriptions. But the last one when it comes, why is it saying? It should have said technically the same like the other ones, but it says the house of your of your fellow friend. Don't don't desire the wife of your friend and it goes into description. Now, the next time that we read about the ten commandments, obviously it was not enough to hear it once that the Torah repeats again the ten commandments. And this happens in parasan van is in the book of chapter 26 chapter 6. I'm sorry, it's in the book of in chapter five. Sorry about that. So the Torah decides to repeat again the ten commandments just that in the version of there's one additional word in the ten commandments that most people don't don't even notice that there's an additional word in the second time when the Torah repeats the ten commandments and this additional word is added in the the the the commandment the ten commandment And it adds the word if you take now both put them next to each other. Take the ten commandments ten commandments put them together they're identical. There's only one word that is additional in the tenth commandment and it says and this goes on their thoughts means that you're going to have a a desire but in your thoughts not in your action. And here is where the Torah comes to tell me I want to control your thoughts not your actions. Now there are three sins that our sages say that a person will fail in those sins every day. Doesn't matter how hard they try. One of them is with a thought of a sin. Another one is meaning not concentrating on my prayer. And the third one is the these are the third three sins that our sages say in the entred that's every day a person will sin in these three sins and if you didn't sin that sin there one of these sins today then because if our sages say that this is the three sins that are very hard not to fail every day means that they know what they're talking about and even if you're very good in lon assuming you live on a deserted island but at least with the yuna yunila means being focused on your prayer that's not an easy one and usually you cannot go through an entire prayer without having your mind wonder for one second if you don't live in a deserted island then is almost impossible and thinking of a of a sin that's also pretty much impossible Now again before we get to the point we have to kind of make an order with what's going on. So we have ten commandments in Hebrew. They are called but we also call we also mention them as and then another term that is called in many places instead of saying the ten commandments you would say the two tablets in English it's not such a common way to to to refer to the ten commandments in Hebrew and in many places in the Torah we find that they're talking about now means two tablets. There are the set of the tablets that are on the right and the set of the tablets that are on the left. Now the first set of uh commandments that are more like a considered like godly mitzvah. You should not have another god but me. I am your god. You should not say my name in vain. You should honor the Shabbat. You should honor your parents. These are more like godly commandments. The other set of commandments are physical. Don't kill, don't steal, don't commit adultery. They're more h social commandments and anyone can do that. Also, the Gentiles are obligated in this mitzvot. The first ones are more between us and God keeping Shabbat. Even though the the the nations are obligated in most of the commandments, they should not have any other god but God himself. They should not believe in idols. They should also uh honor their parents. The only difference is the keeping the observing the Shabbat. But we see that the second part is a more a social uh type of commandments. But in the ten commandments, the commandments are broken into three categories which are thought, speech and action. And we know that most of our commandments even the third 33 commandments are broken into thought, speech and action. Now the first commandment and the last commandment are the two commandments that have to do with thoughts. And then the rest are with speech and with action. But the first commandment, I am your God. I have to remember that Hashem is my God. Where do I remember? In my thought. Now what is the last commandment? We just said that's also in my thoughts. So these two commandments are in the level of thought, not in speech and not in action. So again I come into this question. What's a big problem if I think of something? What's the big deal? So I was jealous in my friend that he has a nice car. So what did I hurt anybody? So I was thinking of another woman. Did I hurt anybody? I'm just think asking in theory. I'm not asking me. But a lot of people say what's the big deal? So I thought of somebody something bad. So I cursed him in my thought. So I talked to about that person in my thoughts. It's not such a big deal. Could you give in your thoughts by thinking something bad about somebody? You give them No. Um, it's not about giving somebody in your thoughts. But we're going to get to why thoughts are so bad. First of all, when I was asking these questions, it's not me asking the question. I'm just presenting a question. Because it is bad to think. It's one of the worst things to think because My thought is the only place I can be myself. Let's start with that. Out in society, I have to be fake. I don't have to, but I am fake. And I'm not saying I. I'm saying I. Okay. So, in my brain, I can be myself. I can sing to myself. I can do my own nonsense in my head. I can do whatever I want in my head. If I would have a special device that reads minds, I would be a trillionaire because anybody would want to get possession over it just as I'm not going to read their mind. The reality is, and I mentioned it many times, that there's a certain Rebi, a certain Sadik is known as the Rebi from Pacetsa. He was murdered in the Holocaust. And he really was very special sadik and and most people never heard of him even even though at the time of the holocaust he was the sadik in the country of Poland. He was very very known and he he written unbelievable books in the holocaust. He was captured. He was in the camps by miracle. his scripts were found and and his students compiled his books. He has unbelievable books. He's known as the Rebi from Pets now. And one of his books is called and he's talking about I mentioned it many times. You probably heard it me talking about it when it comes to to meditation. And he has a certain type of meditation that is called hashka that you meditate on the junk that's going on in your thoughts basically. And he explains very simple that if we stop for couple minutes and we meditate on our own thoughts, we realize that we're we're almost crazy. That if I would try to compare my thoughts to somebody crazy, I would say I'm crazy myself with what's going on in my mind. what I would want to do to him, what I would want to say to that person and his entire system about this meditation is to quieten these thoughts because he explains and it's based on many teachings of Kabalid that my thoughts most of them are not mine but what's going on in my thoughts all day long is a jungle literally a jungle and and he says what separates me and a crazy person is that the crazy person actually does the thoughts and I don't do the thoughts. That's the difference between me and a crazy person. And the reality is if you really meditate on your thoughts, you'll see what type of crazy thoughts you have in your mind. You just said you don't control our thoughts and does. No. Okay. We can first of all to some extent we can control our thoughts, but we'll get to that at the end. At the end I'm I'm going to kind of close the circle about the thoughts. But the rabi from the rabbi from Betsa when he explains he says you cannot control your thoughts but you can quieten them quieten them down. And we'll get to the end. I don't want to jump to the end. But the reality is that you can't really control most of your thoughts. But you can push your thoughts. You can overpower your thoughts or you can quieten your thoughts. That's what he teaches. But I don't want to sidetrack from our point. I just want to bring a point out that he explains that really what separates us from a crazy person is that a crazy person does what they think and we don't do what we think. How many times if you would do what you really think, where would you be? Basically, you would curse and and and and hit and push and do so many things. How many times you're standing in line in the supermarket and you think of what you want to do to that person in front of you and you 99.9% of the time you hold your mouth or or whatever it is. The reality is that in my mind it's the only place where I can be myself. I can do whatever I want. And in society I'm not myself. I sit differently. I hold myself differently. I walk differently. I talk different. And when I come home and I close the door, suddenly I start dancing in a weird way that I would never dance like this in public or I would do all sorts of weird things that sometimes if I catch myself and I'm like, "Oh my god, if probably Hashem is now cracking up by looking just at me." If we could join Hashem for one day and sit in his cockpit, we would probably be in stitches all day long just seeing each individual what they do in their home in closed doors. So, and we're just going to let our imagination go from there. But the reality is that my mind is my domain and I can do whatever I want in my mind and it's a very dangerous place. And that's the problem. Why is it such a problem to think bad things? Because first of all, thoughts become actions. There's no such a thing that a thought doesn't become an action unless you stop it. If you do not stop your thought, it will become an action. And that's where thoughts are very very dangerous because when they start cooking in your mind, at some point they will start trickling down into the body and then the it will reach the hearts. Then the heart starts thinking how am I going to do it and then from the heart to the action and it's not so far away before it becomes an action and that's why thoughts are very dangerous and the problem is that these thoughts usually will start birthing all these all these desires that are negative and and my monadam says that there's no such a thing as a rather there's a thing is a bad thought and the bad thought when the bad thought is not pure then that's what's going to birth the actual action. So there in itself we understand why it's so bad to have these thoughts. Now really when you're thinking of it, the first sin in history was done in a thought. And not only that, the first sin sin in history was done in a thought. It was done in a desire in a in a that the snake wanted. That's a very simple explanation. You don't have to go to the zor or books of kabalat to read it. Rashi explains that that the snake saw dam walking in the garden naked and they were busy with the mitzvah of procreating and then wanted that's it. It's very simple. This is this is the and he already started thinking okay I want her. How am I going to get her? Let me make him eat from the tree. He's going to sin. He's going to die. She's going to be left alone. Now I'm going to marry her. That's what this that's was was the thought of the snake. So the first sin in history was this started in a thought and it started with a bad thought with a desire with the lust. So just from that we need to understand how dangerous are our thoughts. Our thoughts are very very dangerous and they're very very powerful. Now that's not where it stopped. One of the first sins after the first sin or should I say the first murder in the Torah also started from the exact same thing. The first murder was kind and he kind and also had the same exact problem. So Killed heaven. You would think why do you kill him? Two people in the entire world the whole world is yours. You have to kill him. you couldn't move to a different continent. The entire world is in your hand. They were also jealous from each other because it said that kind will get the the what's called ka the the property and he should get the metalene the the removable goods so to say. That was the the separation. So K said, "Oh, what? You're standing on my land." So He says, "Yeah, you're wearing my clothes." There was an argument. And and there's a different opinion that says that K was born with one twin sister and He was born with two twin sisters. And K says, "I'm the older one. I should get the sec the the extra twin sister." So they were fighting over a woman. These are the two explanations why kind killed him. Of course the Torah says that he came with the offering to Hashem. But the argument started way before. The argument didn't start over a piece of fruit. The argument started that in the yusha kind got the the the possession of the land. And every place that heaven would stand kind told him you're standing on my land. Come on. you own the entire world. You can't just give him a piece. And he said the exact same thing. I'm sorry to tell you, you're wearing my clothes. So even then started an argument that of course started with a thought with a taba with jealousy and brought the first murder into to our history. So our sages teach us that we we are placed where our thoughts are. Wherever my thoughts are, that's where I am. And there's a funny story that there was once a a sh and they were praying in the sh and after the repetition of the prayer the rabbi comes to one of the congregants and he tells him oh shalom he tells him shalom I'm here for the last hour what are you talking about he's like oh no an hour ago you walked into the sh and you were with us. And at some point during the prayer I saw you in the market doing business and after that I saw you going to the other market to buying the merchandise and after that I saw you going to a different place to sell the merchandise and now you came back to us. So I'm greeting you with shalom. Meaning that half the prayer your mind were not even here. Your mind was on your business and you were buying merchandise and selling merchandise. So now you came back. So I'm greeting you. Shalom. Welcome. That's a different question. But our sages teach us that we are where my mind is. I can now close my mind and meditate on beautiful sun and waves and breathe the breeze of the water and I'm like, "Oh, I can be now in Mexico on a beautiful beach." And for 2 minutes I'm in Mexico on a beautiful beach. At least that's what some people will want. Unfortunately, some people their mind are in different places than Mexico. But the reality is that you can be where your mind wants you to be. And the mind is so powerful that some people can meditate and put themselves in such a state of mind that they're somewhere else. And the proof that we see that the mind is so powerful that in a dream you can be wherever you want. I mean you don't choose where to be in the dream but in the dream the dream can take you wherever you want. And in the dream that's where you are. And if in the dream you are on the moon, you are on the moon. And if in the dream you are now the richest person in the world or you're now the president or now you are a movie star that's what you are and that's the dream and in the dream that's the reality and some dreams you don't want to wake up from the dream you're like oh finally I'm I'm now the president unfortunately sometimes the dreams are a nightmare but the reality is that we see that the mind is so powerful that we can be where the mind is this is very deep teachings in Kabala where the the person can control the mind and be wherever he wants. So we know the place where the thought of the human being is that's where the entire human being is. That's what the bimtos say is and we we see from that I don't want to go too much into length but we see from that how powerful the thought is and our sages even consider our thought so much more powerful that in the it says that that thinking of the actual sin is worse than doing the sin itself that's what our sages consider in the And they say a person that thinks of a sin, it's actually worse than doing a sin. So we find from that how severe is our thoughts. Now I want to understand why does the Torah ask me to control my thoughts? How I don't understand that you're putting a bad thought in my mind and now you're telling me not to think about it. Now first of all like we said what is so bad with the actual thought what why okay I understood where my thought is then that's where I am and like we said a bad thought will actually bring into action and and and not only that wherever I am wherever my my thought is that's where my entire being is I understand all that and and and and I can I can relate with But I still don't understand why even our sages say that just thinking of a sin is worse than actually doing the sin. I mean there's no common sense to that. I understand you that the thought is very very bad. But what's the common sense that our sages go out of their way to tell me that their actual thought is worse than the sin? Then the thing is that the thought is the actual action. And if I'm thinking of something now that is very very negative and is a sin just the actual body of the thought that is the sin. I might not do it with my body but I'm doing it with my thought. So first of all I want to understand what is so bad by me having a bad thought. So first of all we said that the thought actually brings you to do the action. That's the worst part of it. And it's almost impossible to have a bad thought and it's not going to bring you into action because that's how powerful the thoughts are. Now, if you can control it, good. But the one of the many reasons why the thought is so bad is because it will bring you to do some type of an action. More than that, the thought itself is the action. Just by me occupying now my mind on something negative that is already an action and it's considered a negative action and considered a sin. Now the question another question that we have is why did the Torah add in the commandments of so many words? Because don't kill, don't steal, don't commit adultery. It's only one word law and one word of the actual action. How come in it adds so many words? So explains the reason why the Torah adds so many words is because not all the types of of desiring is so negative or prohibited. That's what he explains that some things you're actually allowed to be jealous at. That's what he explains. Why? Because we're allowed to be jealous in the spirituality of somebody else. And where do we see that? We see that that even Rael was jealous with her sister. Right? Remember that Rael was jealous in Leah. But what was she jealous in? She was jealous in her acts. She was jealous in her mitzvah. So explains that the reason why the Torah adds so many words in is because there are some of the things that you're allowed to be jealous at somebody but only in something that is good. Which means that if I see now a very big sadik or a very special rabbi, I'm allowed to be jealous in his acts saying, "Oh, I want to be like that. I want to be honest like him and I want to be if you see a beautiful an amazing woman at sadiket and she's all modest and and good midot, you're allowed to be jealous in her acts and saying, "Oh, I want to be like that." And that's one of the reasons why the Torah added more words into now we learned that from a place in our sages that it says when I'm jealous in somebody positive that in something is positive it will add in me more and we see that in was jealous in her sister it says very clearly in But why? Rashi says she was she was jealous in her acts that she was kind and she was righteous. So what we want to learn from that in the is that I'm not allowed to be jealous in something that doesn't belong to me because it was never intended to be mine. And that's the big difference. If it's something positive, then there's a a a there is a place that it's intended to be mine. But when something doesn't is not intended to be mine, then I'm not supposed to I'm not allowed to be jealous in that. And it says that says in that before we were born, three things were already decided for us. Before we were born, who we going to marry? where we going to live and what's going to be my parasa what's going to be my job these are the three things that are decided to me before I'm born it says and who I'm going to marry where I'm going to live and what's going to be my home what's going to be my parasa anything else is not decided but Anything that is decided to be mine was already decided before I was born. Therefore, when I'm desiring, when I want something that doesn't belong to me, that's already a sin. I'm only allowed to desire what it belongs to me. And that's the point of this. Now, when the Torah is coming and asking me, don't think, control your thoughts, then of course comes the big question. How can I control my thoughts? How are you asking me to control my thoughts? I mean, you're just telling me now how powerful my thoughts are, but how can I control it? You're basically telling me, don't do a sin in something that you can barely control. And that's really my main my main question is, why are you asking me to do something that is almost out of my control? Now there was once a story with a certain student of the mid from Mazj that he was a a very special individual but he came to the his rebi and he tells him I have very strong urges in my thoughts I can't control my thoughts I need an I need an advice how to control my thoughts so the rabi from tells him the magi tells him listen I have a a student His name is Vulf. Why don't you go to him? He'll give you a good exa a good answer. So he goes, it was winter. It was snow. He goes up the hills, down the hills, through the snow. Finally, after a long journey, he comes to the house. Everybody knew who he was, where he lived. Comes and knocks on the door. Nobody opens the door. Knocks on the door. Nobody opens the door. He puts his head like this on the door. He hears people talking there and he doesn't understand. He starts knocking on the door, banging on the door. He goes around the house. He see lights in the house and he doesn't understand. He's freezing and he's knocking and banging on the door and he doesn't understand what's going on there and he's it starts screaming, "Hello, open up. I'm freezing. I'm going to die out here." After 2, three hours of knocking on the door and he's going crazy. Wolf opens the door and he tells him, "How can I help you?" So he says, "The mid from send me here and I'm freezing. Let me in. I'm about to die." And he tell me, he told me, "You're going to have a good advice to me." And then he starts screaming at him. Why did you leave the door out? Why didn't you let me in? Why didn't you open the door? I'm freezing. I'm going to die. So he answers him, I wanted to teach you that I control who comes into my house. So the point is that our thoughts constantly come and they knock on the door constantly all day long. My thoughts will come to to to penetrate my my brain, but it's in my control who comes into my house. I cannot control the thoughts, but I can control what comes into my head. And that's the big difference. that really I cannot control my thoughts because the balatana says Adam cannot control his first thought. That's what he explains in the book of Tanya. You cannot control your first thought. But you can control the second, the third and the fourth. So the first thought that comes into my mind, I have no control over it. It's not even my my thought. This is called a foreign thought. But the second and the third I can already control. And that's when the Torah comes and tells me. The first thought I'm going to throw into your mind. But that's you're going to be your to resist these thoughts to be able to control what's coming into your head and what's staying out of your head. And this is the where the question lies. Why is the Torah asking and demanding me to control my thoughts? is because the second and the third thoughts I can control. The first ones I cannot they're not there there's nothing to do with me. And that's why in many explanations why the Torah goes into many descriptions in the commandment so many details because the thoughts are going to come in many many very very many many different variations and the reality is is that these negative thoughts are constantly going to come and haunt me but really what I'm not allowed to to to to desire ire is something that was not intended to me to start with and when I need to to go through my thoughts all day long cuz all day long I have thoughts and I need to make some type of a separation in my thoughts what is good thoughts what are bad thoughts we're learning in the course of tikunid how to def different differentiate where is it coming from is by making some type of analogy is it thought coming from kusha from holiness or is it thought coming from unholiness If it's coming from holiness, then I know that it's a good one. If it's coming from unholiness, then it's obviously a negative one. But all day long I have these thoughts triggering and and popping up in my head and I have to make right away an analogy. Sometimes the thought can be good. Sometimes jealousy if it's directed to something positive, our sages teach us yet. If you jealous in a righteous man, you're jealous in his acts. Good. Be jealous in his acts. Why? Cuz that thought will bring you into the action. And if I see a man that every morning he's first one in sh 5:00 in the morning he opens the je and every time I come he's there before me and I'm getting upset I'm jealous. Why is he always before me? Good. Now it's going to make me come before him. So when it comes to when it comes to holiness I'm allowed to be jealous in somebody's good acts. Why? Because the thought will bring the actual action. But when I have to control my thoughts, I have to understand there was what was not intended intended for me doesn't belong to me. And that's the sin not to want something that doesn't belong to me. Besides the that decides to give one individual such amount of money and the other individual a different amount of money and I'm jealous. I'm basically basically not believing in the koshul. That's why the first and the last commandments both in the level of and they're both connected to each other cuz I am required the first commandment I am I am your God. There's no other god which means that if I think that I deserve something else I'm now not believing that what Hashem gives me is the is the right thing cuz I was already it was decided for me who I'm going to marry. How can I think of somebody else? It's going to it's already decided to me where I'm going to live. Why should I be jealous that somebody has a bigger house? And more than that, it's already decided to me what's going to be my so I'm now upset cuz somebody makes more money than me. Really, when you thinking of it, it's Hashem tells me this is what I want to give you. Be happy with what I get you. But the point that we want to take with us for this at least week's para what we want to take for the rest of the week is that we all fail in thoughts. All day long I'm failing in my thoughts. But I want something to give to to take me how to control my thoughts. The way for me to control my thoughts is to understand that I can control what's going to come into my head. I cannot control the thoughts, but I can know I can push them away. And when I mention the Rebi from Petsna, he doesn't talk about controlling your thoughts. He just talks about quietening your thoughts. Like a good friend, you're now upset. Somebody annoyed you and you're all hyped up and some good friend comes and says, "Relax here. Have a cup of tea. It's not that bad. Let's go and think about it." And somebody calms you down. So you want to start controlling it by calming your thoughts down. You can push the thought away. How do you push a thought away? By bringing a positive thought. If you have a bad thought going on now in your mind that you the way to push it away is you inject a good good thought in your mind. If you inject a good thought in your mind then by default you're pushing the bad thought away. So the point is where the Torah comes to point out here is that I cannot control my thoughts. I cannot fight them but I can overpower it. I can push it. And that's what I want to take with me for this week is first of all and most important yeah to take to understand from this commandment. I'm not allowed to to be jealous and anything else. Why? Because it was not intended to me. But really the lesson that I want to take here is how do I control these thoughts? First of all, to understand that yeah, thoughts are bad. I'm not allowed to sin in my thoughts. And the way to do it is to remember that I might not be able to control the first thought, but the second thought I can control and the third and the fourth. And that's where the message lies that I can control what comes after that. And that's where I'm required to do. And how to do that? There are many different ways. But I should not feed on the thought. And that's why this is also considered a sin. Because when I start feeding the thought, what's called to fantasize, that's where the sin lies. If a quick thought comes into my mind, I go in the street, I see something, wh comes a thought. If I right away move my head, We say it every time in don't go after your heart. Don't go after your heart. I push my head away. Then I control the thought. I moved it. But if I start feeding it, that's already considered the sin. Why? Because I'm already start fantasizing. Doesn't matter positive, negative. I'm already starting to develop the thought. And that's where the problem lies. So what I want to take from that for this week is that thoughts have to be controlled. I can control my thoughts. I mean, again, I'm using the wrong wording. I cannot control my thoughts, but I can overpower it. I can push it and I can put the thought in the right place. And when I'm controlling the head, then the rest is going to be controlled. My actions, my speech, it's all in the head. And what I want to concentrate on is first of all to be to be satisfied with what I have. So I'm not going to even develop this concept of of jealousy. But more than that is to start developing in my mind my methods. How am I controlling and overpowering my thoughts to know that I should not sin in letting my thoughts drift away and start fantasizing on anything that is that bad. And if like decided to contract the entire Torah into ten commandments means that these are the foundations of everything. When a lot of people come and tell me listen to follow the entire Torah is too much for me. I cannot do the whole thing. So my says just start with the 10 the first 10 then we'll negotiate again. Do the first 10 then come back to me when you're done because in the f in those ten commandments everything is lying in it. And one of the things that we need to take from that is how powerful our thoughts are. How dangerous our thoughts can be. You mentioned before if you can do with your thoughts. You cannot do with your thoughts. But the thought is so powerful that in some way in a very spiritual way you create realities in your thoughts. So it won't do something as bad as but the thought can actually bring down into action. And if you cook in your mind too much a certain thought, it will arouse the desire to do it into action. If you're thinking bad about somebody and you're constantly thinking bad, somebody did something bad to you. And that's what brings like somebody looking at you and thinking something bad, that's what causes. Where does come from? That's a whole different thing. I don't want to talk about, but the thought is very very powerful. And exactly like I said before that the says that If I'm now thinking so negative about a certain individual at some point that's going to bring me into the action it's going to actually bring the hate. It's going to bring the resentment. It's going to bring me start talking about it. That's how bad it is. So it's not about controlling the rather if I don't control my negative thought it will bring me to do that one way or another. If I do not pull down the screen, if I don't pull in the makita right away after the third first thought that's it. It's already in it's already in the house. And that's why the example the maz wanted to say is don't let don't let it in the house. When he this his disciple told him I can't control my thoughts and he sent them to by he told him no I control what comes into my mind. So I can control what comes into my mind. Once in my mind then you're in trouble. If the junk is already in my mind that's already in my mind. Hold on one by one. First let's conclude the class then we'll go to questions. So what I want to take from this class is that I cannot control my thoughts but I control what thought will come into my mind and I can close the door and that's where the message lies and I cannot try to even try to start battling my thoughts. that's beyond my my my coke my my my power but I can control what will come in. So if I need to close my eyes then I close my eyes and if I need to close my ears then I'll close my ears and if I need to move my head then I have to move my head but I have to I have control over the gate. I don't have control over the thought but I can control the gate. Hashem gave us seven gates, two eyes, two nostrils, two ears and one very dangerous mouth. So that's why Hashem was very smart. He gave two of everything, one of a mouth because he said if I'm going to give them two mouths, what's going to happen with two mouths? So I need to know how to control my gate. If I control my gate, then my domain inside is pure. That's the point. That's what I want to take with me. If I will have control over my domain, if I can control my gates, then at least I have control of what doesn't come in. And if I stop the junk from coming in, most likely I will not even start developing thoughts. I'm not going to start fantasizing about thoughts. I'm not going to start feeding the thoughts that will bring the thoughts into actions. That's what I want to take with me. We should have a successful week that we can incorporate in the control over our thoughts. The mind over the heart we should have a very successful week. Yes. questions. Please [Music] [Applause]