Overcoming Feelings of Failure & Guilt / Moshe's Eternal Influence | Letters #13-14

Good evening and welcome to the Thursday night double dose of 30 letters and 30 days. How do we do 30 letters in 30 days? Well, we can't do Friday night because uh it's Shabbos. So, we do a double letter on Thursday night. That is our Lecha Mishnah for uh heading into Shabbos. We're going to start with um the first letter for tonight. I have two PDFs. I just going to make sure I'm looking at the right one. Uh let's just jump right in. Baruch Hashem Gimel Adar Sheini Tashan Yud Tes, Brooklyn, Shalom Uvracha. La'acharei La'acharei Hafsakah Aruchah Niskabel Michtavei Mechofef Adar Rishon. After a very lengthy delay or interval, I received your letter from the 28th of Adar Rishon. Now it's Gimel Adar Sheini, like a week later. B'cheisav Roshei Prakim Meseder Chayav Atah, in that letter you write the general the general uh like chapter headings of your current life. Basically, give me a uh a general idea of what your life is is like right now. U'mesaya'em B'she'eilah B'hanhagas L'histadrusa'i Ba'asid, and you end with a question about how to set yourself up in the future. Okay, so far this is a pretty general letter to a person Shalom of Rachem means it's a man. Um, asking how to set up his life. Okay, we [snorts] all could use that kind of direction. But, what makes this letter to me at least what makes this letter especially helpful is that it deals with failure and guilt. Somebody who feels that he has failed in the past both practically and morally and therefore he is feeling guilt. And that's something I think that all of us at some point go through. And let's see how the Rebbe deals with it in this particular case. The Rebbe says I'm compelled to point out that in the sketch of your life that you give about what you're up to the main thing is omitted. You're missing the main thing. Like you gave me a general sketch of your life but the main thing that I would have been curious to know about was not mentioned. For our sages say in in the in the Mishna in their Mishna I was created to serve my maker. Who and that is how do you serve your maker? Through Torah and Mitzvah. What do you mean serving your creator? Through his Torah and Mitzvahs. And you don't mention anything about your your your your Torah study. Not Neglected Torah, which means the legalistic aspects of Torah or Seder. And you don't mention any of your efforts as Heder became a Mitzvah. Because I know that you do Mitzvahs. I mean, feel a partial Israel and I miss the screaming mic. Right, even the wanton sinners of Israel are full of Mitzvahs. But so I know you do Mitzvahs, but you didn't mention your Heder. What are you doing especially scrupulously? So I'm I'm like I'm wondering why didn't you tell me about your like the times you have set for learning Torah? Why didn't you tell him about which Mitzvahs you're being my Heder in? Why That's most important part of a person's life. After all, I was only created to serve my maker. So the most important part of my life is that. By the way, I think that's whatever you're writing to the Rebbe about. I think it's This is instructive. Like you don't tell the Rebbe about your about what you're learning. You don't tell the Rebbe about what Mitzvahs you're being my Heder in. Like That's that's the most important news that you have to share. And also one thing you don't mention and this is included in the above. I love how the Rebbe says this is included in the above, meaning it's not a separate category, but I'm just mentioning it. Um goes under the previous category, meaning this is part of how you serve your maker. It's not distinct from serving your maker. Your influence on your environment. You know, in the Lubavitcher Rebbe's worldview, it's not like, "Here's my spiritual service, and then separate and distinct from that is how I help other people with their spiritual service." No. In the Lubavitcher Rebbe's worldview, it's all one in the same. So, I'd want to hear about your learning and about your performance of mitzvahs, and I want to hear how you're helping other people with their learning and their doing mitzvahs cuz it's all one thing. The given an omer, ya miyusad al vio hafteria kamecha. Like, tell me about how you're helping other people with their learning and their mitzvahs um as a fulfillment of the mitzvah love your fellow as yourself. Shulchan Aruch Orech Chaim, as we know that's one of the main rules of the Torah, as Rabbi Akiva says. It's one of the 12 pesukim, too. V'yotzin shiya k'tzorim rak b'chsiva aval b'poel. [gasps] Uh God willing, the omission was merely in writing and not in your actual life. I love that expression. God willing, it's only missing in your report about your life. It's not actually missing from your real life. Meaning, I'm assuming you're doing great stuff. You just didn't bother to tell me. Okay. But if you're not doing that stuff, not If you didn't If you are doing good stuff and you failed to write it, please mention it next time. And if you failed to write it cuz you're actually not doing it, hint hint, maybe start doing it. Okay. Nice beginning. Diety b'hishtadlusai l'asot, my opinion about how you should set up your life going forward in the future. Shalach l'rosh Most first and foremost, main thing. [snorts] Uh you should try again. Remember I told you earlier that this person is feeling that they're coming from a place of failure. Okay, so here's where you're going to start to pick up on that. So, the first and foremost thing I want you to try again to try to um [snorts] to live up to your potential in uh in the field of hinukh in uh hora in teaching. It seems like in It's interesting that the use of the term bedarkei hateiva, like naturally speaking based on practical analysis of the situation um this is going to be an important field. Teaching is going to be important in the Holy Land. And also it's going to be a source of material livelihood for you. Okay. So, the Rebbe says I want you to try teaching again. And I think it's going to be an important field in the Holy Land. I think the Rebbe is meaning it's going to be a uh a sought-after position. Or rather peop- They're going to be seeking people to fill such positions. In other words, it's a good It's a good uh line of work to be in because they're going to need to fill such positions. Um So, it makes sense for you to do it. And uh I think that's what the Rebbe means by meaning setting aside all spiritual significance that it may have. Uh just it's a it's it's a good it's a good uh job for you. For for anyone right now. Talking about 1959 in in uh Israel. So, you can go find out and let me know if there was a shortage of teachers, if teachers were in demand. But, it seems to be what the Rebbe was describing. Okay. Moving right along. Umasha kasha ain't no much of that. And regarding what you wrote that you aren't qualified for this. Okay. Guys, you don't have to be a nobody. Where do you think the Rebbe was heading? [laughter] That I was telling this guy, I want you to try again. Uh And when the Rebbe said, "I want you to try again." To me, it was clear this guy wrote with a real inferiority complex. The insecurity he was feeling was pretty clear to me, right? When the Rebbe said, "I want you to try again." Um but now it's coming out even more clearly. The Rebbe says, "You told me that you're not mucher, you're not fitting. You're not qualified for this field of work." Guys, what do you think the Rebbe was going to tell him? Well, let's start easy. Do you think the Rebbe was going to tell him, "You're right, you're not qualified." [groaning] No. Okay, so what is the Rebbe going to tell him? Guy says he's not qualified. [snorts] Sounds like the Rebbe is about to tell me he is qualified. So, what's going to happen over here? Ain od em acher. The past is not a proof. We know the guy was teaching in the past and it didn't work out. How do we know? Cuz the Rebbe said, "I want you to try it again." The Rebbe's saying the fact that it didn't work out in the past is not a proof for the future. Why not? She had a us you're a tzeinah. Very deep. Listen to this. Very, very deep. And by the way, I want to thank sichos in English again, Shmuly Avtzon and the team over there. This is not simple work. When I translate these letters orally, I don't think anyone's holding me to my words that meticulously. But when they write it down on paper and these PDFs get spread out all over the world, it's a little bit more uh demanding. And um this was a tough sentence to translate. I think yeah, they wrote even an editor's note. This paragraph contains much depth and nuance presented here in in the translation is how we understood it. Sichos in English wrote that note. And guys, I know exactly what you mean cuz this sentence is um we could have an entire 30 days on this sentence. How you like that? The Rebbe says, "The fact that you failed in this field before is not a proof as to how it's going to go in the future." Why not? Because that was your ratzon. That was your desire. You wanted to fail. I don't know if I should say it that strongly, but you weren't interested at the time. Over the mailer, therefore, or consequently, Nimshach Gam Kein La'chlotah, that became your decision. In other words, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. You didn't feel like teaching. And therefore, because you didn't want to do it, it didn't work out. Shnei Ratzos B'zeh. You made a decision, you don't want it. V'adei Koach Ha'ratzon, Moshel B' B'chol Ha'kochos Ha' Kochos Ha'nefesh, V'chalah Ovan. Chassidus explains this, that Koach Ha'ratzon, the power of will, is Moshel, it rules over [snorts] all the Kochos Ha'nefesh. Kochos Ha'nefesh, chapter three of Tanya. The Tanya map behind me, right there on chapter three. As I Kochos Ha'nefesh, right? The three intellectual, Chochmah, Binah, Daas, seven emotional, Chessed, Gevurah, Tiferes, Netzach, Hod, Yesod, Malchus. Uh where's Ratzon? Koach Ha'ratzon is a Makif, that encompasses all the Aseres Kochos. Where your will is pointed, all of your Aseres Kochos will be directed to fulfill that will. So, if you want something, your Sechel and Middos, your intellect and your emotion, will be steered in that direction, so that you figure out how to get what you want, and you figure out how to justify what you want. You have all the excuses to make it uh to make it right. And you're going to have a great love for what you want, and you're going to have a great fear of not getting what you want. Because that's how your ratzon works. Now, if you have the opposite, you have instead of a desire to do something, you just you have a lack of desire or even a a negative desire. You have a desire to get away from something. Well, then all of your kochos hanefesh will follow in that direction. And that means your seichel will not come up with good ways of doing the job. And your seichel will come up with great excuses of why you couldn't do the job. And your seichel will then give birth to uh middos, where you have a fear of the job. And you have a an attraction toward things other than the job. So, basically what the Rebbe is saying is, don't tell me that you failed in the past, and therefore you're unable, you're incapable of succeeding in the future. You didn't fail because you couldn't do the job. You failed because you and I both know that you had no desire for it. And therefore, as you desired, that's what happened. That is that is what came true. You You You You weren't Yes, you weren't capable of doing the job, but not that you are constitutionally incapable. It's not that you are inherently lacking the ability to do it. You're circumstantially incapable, because that's what your ratzon was at the time. Therefore, it made you situationally enable under those conditions to to succeed in that area. Understood? That makes sense? Okay. That [snorts] is a deep paragraph. The Rebbe gives him an out. An escape clause. If others who are not uh biased, who are not uh who have no ulterior motive, they have no skin in the game. If they will testify, shibavada that's certainly ain't a much shala here. You are not qualified to teach. Parentheses, afshaknaal ain't zadati, although as I already said, that's not my opinion. So, maybe you'll find some guys who can disagree with me, okay? Some guys who have no skin in the game. And if they'll say that you are bavada certainly unqualified, oz then, sanyin belimud mitsaya, you could go look into another field, another profession. That's your out. Sounds like the Rebbe is saying that it's not really probable you're going to find people who have no uh subjective reason to have one opinion to have an opinion one way or the other who are going to actually tell you that it is absolute that you are unqualified to teach. But, if you find such people, even though I disagree with them, the Rebbe says, "I already told you my opinion." But, if you find find such people, okay, that's your out. I wonder what the guy did because like the never just said ratsing is very powerful. And if his ratsing is to prove that he's unqualified to teach where there's a will there's a way, you know, I maybe he did find some people. Maybe he mustered together a a tribunal of quote-unquote uh unbiased objective people to tell him that he was un qualified to teach. Certainly bavada undeniably unqualified to teach. Maybe he succeeded. You never know. The will is powerful. Okay. So that that was regarding the the failure. I think it's a deep concept. The fact that you failed at something in the past is not an indication that you'll fail at it again. What it's an indication of in in in the cases where this is applicable. Obviously, this is not all cases, but in cases where this is applicable, what it may be an indication of is that where you had a lack of desire for something, certainly you failed. Of course you failed. Of course, it's very unlikely to succeed at something when your heart isn't in it. But that doesn't mean that you were unqualified. So you can stop internalizing that failure. It was not a failure. Okay, moving to the next subject. The masha case of she machshava minakedes bemeche. Regarding what you say that you are sort of like overwhelmed mentally. Mayaveningale binyan bias beisrael. What's going to be with building a house [snorts] among the Jewish people. That's idiomatic rabbinic um parlance for getting married and raising a family. So, this guy has no career and he has no family yet. So, the Rebbe spoke to him about career and now the Rebbe is speaking to him about family. So, you told me you're not going to be able to have a career cuz you're a failure at the position at the field that you tried out. The Rebbe says, well, maybe have a desire this time and I think you're going to succeed. That's career. Regarding a family, what's his reason why he thinks he's not going to be able to successfully have a Jewish family. Yes, but I need a whole lot. Because I etc. The Rebbe wrote the whole lot. The Rebbe wrote etc. Um There are notes when Igros was printed Scholem Ber Levin from the library um wrote some editorial notes on some of the letters. And on this particular letter where it says um Yes, but I need since I and the Rebbe just says etc. So, Rabbi Rabbi Levin's editorial note at the bottom of the page says, "Pugamti b'ris kodesh." Because I um blemished the holy covenant. I'm assuming that that is the phrase or the expression that the person in his letter to the Rebbe used Um I'm not sure. I'm not sure if Rebbe Levin saw that letter or not. I'm not sure how he knows that's what it was, but I'm certain it was ascertained um and verified at the time that that's precisely what it was. Um whether or not that exact phrase was used by the letter writer, I don't know. But pegam tibul bris kodesh I uh blemished the holy covenant. Again, that's rabbinic idiom and uh euphemism for somebody who was involved in sins of an intimate nature. What was the extent of it? What was the the the manner of it? I don't know. Um whatever it was, it caused this person uh a feeling of hopelessness that because of these particular sins of uh of an intimate nature that have to do with one's one's procreative potential being misappropriated, mischanneled. So, he felt that he's really not He doesn't really feel he's capable of being a husband and a father and having a Jewish home. Okay? So, I think that's a very common feeling. I don't know if to the extent that this young man felt where he felt that it was not even possible for him to go forward building a home, but certainly I know that many many, many young men at least have these questions. They have some level of of insecurity regarding hotzas nodem, what we euphemistically refer to as the sins of youth. And uh they're called sins of youth for a reason. Many reasons, but one of which is that very few emerge from their youth unscathed. Very few are able to make it through their youth without grappling with this particular challenge. And uh yes, it does cause a great deal of of guilt. And yes, it can make a young man question his ability to be a husband and a father. And in this case, it caused this particular young man to feel entirely incapable of going forward and building a home. Okay. So, let's see what the Rebbe advises him. Anu ein lanu ela cheros teitos einu teitos chaim. We have nothing but the instructions of our Torah which is a Torah of life. Gam kipshutom be olam hazeh. And that means even in the most literal sense in this world. When we say teitos chaim, a a Torah of life, we don't just mean spiritual life. Obviously, yes, Torah is the path to eternal spiritual life. But in the Rebbe's world view, it's it's it's so often emphasized that the spiritual and the material are totally aligned. There can be no conflict ultimately between the spiritual and the material. And that if Torah is a Torah of life, that means not just eternal spiritual life and reward and reward in the world to come, Toras Chaim means that practically speaking, in the real world, in the physical world where this kind of stuff happens and people have these kinds of challenges, this is what Torah tells you to do, okay? We don't have another book. You want to know what someone else advises, some other modality of healing, some other approach, we have one arbiter of truth and one guidebook, our holy Torah. And I'm going to tell you what our holy Torah tells us to do in a case like this. Okay. There There is nothing that stands in the way of repentance, of return. Long section here. Let me back up. There are many levels in teshuvah. Including a level of teshuvah that is a teshuvah that is done from a place of a parched desert, which is described in the end of chapter seven of Tanya, and in many places this is described. What does it mean a teshuvah that's done from a place of a parched desert? [snorts] Some people do teshuvah cuz it's the right thing to do. Oh, you're not allowed to do that? Oh, my bad. I'll go fix that. Other people do chuva because they realize that they're in a desert. That they have gradually or perhaps not so gradually distanced themselves from God. And they don't like what's happening. They do not like what their life looks like. It pains them. It frightens them. And all of a sudden they feel an incredible [snorts] desperate need to get back with God. That's what's called being in a parched wilderness, in a desert. Now, obviously a person who wakes up to chuva in a parched, spiritually parched desert, um this is all metaphorical, you understand. So, obviously their desire for chuva is far more intense and passionate than someone who does chuva in a regular way. This chuva that comes from such a place of intense desperation, from hitting rock bottom as some of us refer to it. That chuva propels one to a commensurately even greater level of closeness with Hashem. In other words, in the end, this person who is in a far worse state ends up, after his chuva culminates, being in a far greater state. It is precisely his grave failure in the past which propels him now to his extra sensitivity, his extra vigilance, his extra carefulness as a as a true penitent. And the Rebbe adds, especially when you start immediately to fix the past. I don't know if the Rebbe is telling him to start immediately or if he already did start immediately. But, uh yeah, that window of hitting rock bottom is uh I don't want to scare anyone, but sometimes people have to hit a new bottom because they didn't start they didn't take action soon enough after their last bottom. But, when you do, God forbid, find yourself in that Eretz Tziyat Tzalmavet, as the Rebbe calls it, parched wilderness, the desert, in the shadow of death, which is not a place anyone is comfortable being in, [snorts] if you immediately begin rectification at that point, you're going to very soon find yourself in a place that is far holier than you could have ever imagined. Proportionate to the fall will come the incredible return. L'chol ha'aracha, back inside the text, I de'ah milchama u'achlata k'chola d'darush u'negaleh pa'al k'muban v'gam pashut. And this means to undertake the necessary that the Rebbe calls it battle in making a real firm commitment regarding practical actions as is understood and obvious. And it's known the advice to completely remove your mind from it. Hold on, I thought I'm supposed to battle it. I'm confused. The Rebbe just told me Did I read that right? The Rebbe told me battle, a decision sufficient decision as required by the gay lapel take action And it's known to completely remove your mind from this. Well, how do you reconcile that? How do you battle something and completely remove your mind from it? Guys, I want to share something with you that is not easy to understand. How do I know? Because there's so many smart people who don't understand this. And took me a long time to understand it also and I didn't even figure it out on my own. It was told to me. [laughter] The hard work that the Rebbe is describing here, the battle is all holiness. It's all good stuff. It's not wrestling with the devil. It's not trying to keep the monster in the closet so it doesn't rear its head. The milchama is all holiness. It's all about focusing on good stuff. Keeping yourself busy. Like the Rebbe said at the beginning of the letter, with your learning and your mitzvahs and helping other people, service. Helping others with their learning and their doing mitzvahs. So that's the milchama. As far as that nasty stuff the guilt triggering stuff Hashem Yishmor, don't think about it. What, you think by thinking about it, you're going to have less of it? I wish the people who spoke so much about these types of avedas actually wanted there to be less of it. But I'm suspicious that they want there to be more of it because it gives them something to talk about. I'm just suspicious that anyone who constantly sermonizes about this doesn't really want there to be less of it in the world because then he wouldn't have what to talk about in his next sermon. If you want there to be less of this this this this spiritual poison called euphemistically, and I'm going to speak aidel blemishing the covenant. If you understand how destructive it is, and it is destructive powerfully destructive. If you actually want there to be less of it in the world it's not by making people think more about it. It's about getting them to think less about it while some simultaneously focusing on good things, on holy things, on productive things, on their spiritual growth and on helping other people to grow spiritually. That's how it's done. That's what the Rebbe is explaining right here. [sighs] Yeah. So forget about it. Be masik das. Vehesekha das u'loimel khama im hamakhshava, the Rebbe says. When you forget about it, it doesn't mean fighting the thought. Ela la'ania makhshava l'inyan akher. Just go think about something else. U'mataiv inyan shel Torah, ideally think about Torah. Think about something holy and good. Asher im meat or dega kharbe kheshekh. If even a little bit of light displaces lots of darkness, we see that physically, that you're in a completely dark room. You light one candle, and now you can see. Maybe not well, but you can see. Imagine you walk into a hot room in the middle of the summer, cuz I don't like the heat. Imagine you walk into a hot room, somebody turned off the AC, and it's been just baking in there for 12 hours. It's boiling hot, and you have and you turn on the AC. You know how long it takes before the room cools off? A couple hours. But you walk into that same room, and you turn on one little desk lamp, and you could see. That's what it means. So, if a little bit of light can push off much darkness, al akhas kama vekama harbe ohr, so how much more so a lot of light can push off even more darkness. So, take the high road. Focus on spirituality. Focus on holiness. And when uh that when those bedevilments come up, just move on from that. Don't try to directly engage. What you could all you day has possible say be sweet say le learn them Torah. The main thing as far as staying positive, staying focused on good stuff is to have an influence on your environment and to teach people Torah. This guy was feeling like a lowlife. And the Rebbe is telling him to become the holy rabbi. I'm sure he feels like a hypocrite doing that. But he's going to have to get over that feeling. Because the Rebbe is telling him if you actually want to get out of this mess, this is the way to get out of it. You want to be quote-unquote holy by wallowing in your guilt then you're never going to get out of it. So that's not really holy. But if you want to just sort of put it behind you and move on and focus on being of service to others then ironically you will be able to get past this. It's counterintuitive. Especially, you know, religious people feel well, if I'm really religious, so I should really take this to heart. Should really bother me and therefore I should spend a lot of time focused on my negative feelings about these negative behaviors that I feel so awful about. If I take it seriously, right? And sounds reasonable. But we see the results is it becomes an obsession and it becomes an an endless vicious cycle of the guilt propelling the person into more of the same seeking an easy quick way of distracting himself from his pain, the pain of guilt and so he falls back on his easy quick distraction which works for half a second and then afterwards even worse guilt and then more need for that easy quick distraction and just becomes inescapable so that I was saying [sighs] forget about it do good things help other people do good things teach people Torah that's the path. Yeah, but hey I'm a lamidus ben cheveda Torah now this is spiritual this part is even a little bit too spiritual for me. Now Rebbe says we know that if you teach your friend's child Torah ki ilu yeladei it's it's if you gave birth to him. A student is like a son. In some ways sometimes we even say a student is more than a son. Um so if you teach someone Torah it's as if you gave birth to him. Okay, so far so good I'm familiar with that so regular Jewish concept. Shezehu tiken mida keneged mida. That is the the most fitting measure for measure rectification of what you are telling me that you did. Remember what he did. Sins of an intimate nature. A misappropriation and a mischanneling of the procreative power. So, the Rebbe tells him, "Teach people Torah. When you teach your friend's son Torah, it's as if you gave birth to that child." Well, wasting the potential to bring life into the world is rectified by bringing life into the world. The opportunity for having children that was lost is rectified by the spiritual children you're going to have by becoming a teacher of Torah. [snorts] Another advice, get some lines of Mishna and Tanya that you memorize by heart. It's just another tool to keep in your toolkit as you are coming back from this uh from this challenge. And this is explained more in the maamar in uh the Alter Rebbe's Likutei Torah Parshas Kedoshim V'Daber B'nei Yisrael. God willing, you're going to report good in all the above to report good news and uh signed by the secretary of the Rebbe. Okay. So, that was our first letter for tonight. Powerful stuff. And applicable to so many of us. In general and in specific. Yeah, each one of these letters could have been this We could have studied the same letter every night for 30 days and found more and more and more insight every single every single time. [sighs] I'm going to move on now to the second letter. Okay. [snorts] Baruch Hashem Erev Shabbos Kodesh Aleph Gimmel Aleph Mishkan Tavshin Yud Tes, Brooklyn, New York. Hey, guys. Erev Shabbos Parshas Pekudei. This is Vayakhel Pekudei, but kind of like Erev Shabbos Pekudei. Right? Thursday night, Leil Shishi going into Parshas Vayakhel Pekudei. [snorts] L'chvod Hanhalas Yeshivas Tomchei Temimim Lubavitch Ashe Beis Montreal Shalom Aleichem Yichyu Shalom U'vracha. This was written to the esteemed faculty of the Lubavitcher Yeshiva in uh Montreal Quebec Canada. B'maineh L'hoidosam Asher B'Yom Zayin Adar Sheini Habo Aleinu L'Tova. In response to your notification that on Zayin Adar Sheini Tiskaiyem a Mesiba D'P'sichas Hatamula uh Shinuyei the tavis of Yeshiva. You're going to be having the uh your annual campaign to benefit the Yeshiva. Annual campaign, right? We just had our annual campaign for Soul Words. Four days of live streaming. I wonder if they did live streaming for the Montreal Yeshiva in 1959. Okay, so they're going to have their event, their annual fundraising event on Zion Adar. Now, you guys probably know what Zion Adar is, right? Yeah? It's a famous date. All right, I won't ruin the surprise. I'll let you try to guess before the Rebbe says. He knows it shall lay out because of the hole a scania Yeshiva with a team usher. I'm giving my brocha, sending my brocha to all of those who are involved in the Yeshiva and those who support it. I shall make our harvest a dance you see for a month be stubborn loosen the classic the heart of as Yeshiva a good day show. The brocha is I love this brocha. I would love such a brocha. That basically you should strengthen the Yeshiva through [snorts] and in a in a situation of our harvest a dance broad mind. Basically you shouldn't be stressed. [laughter] You shouldn't be uh you shouldn't be desperate. You should be able to think big and be ambitious from a place of of grandeur. Maybe I'm embellishing too much, but that's how I take that brocha. It's like build the Yeshiva and like yeah it shouldn't be like you're running around just barely trying to maintain what you've been doing. No, you should be able to do big stuff and should come in a in a confident way and a way of clarity and that's how I take it. So the Yeshiva can continue to act as a a source of influence, a wellspring that I because it of influence. Of Torah, strengthening Torah and strengthening Yiddishkeit in your in your city and in your country. Your event comes out on like we said Zain order. The auspicious day, the day of the birth of the faithful shepherd. My share with a vein now. [snorts] You guessed it, you know that's what it was. Okay. I'm sorry. Now everything in the world even the details are the are by divine providence. And with every event there's a lesson to learn regarding Torah mitzvahs. As is the famous saying of the Bal Shem Tov. You you know what the famous saying of the Baal Shem Tov is? That from everything you see and everything you hear, you have to take from it a lesson in how to serve Hashem. All of life, everything we experience is divine messaging. It is all Hashem communicating with us, teaching us through our lives, and we have to be awake to that and endeavor to unpack the meaning that is inherent in everything we experience. [snorts] Okay. So, the Rebbe says basically, let's find some meaning in the fact that you have this Yeshiva, which is a wellspring of Yiddishkeit in your city and in your country, and you're doing a fundraiser, and it's going to be on the birthday of Moshe Rabbeinu. Let's let's think about why that is um a fitting connection and what we can learn from that. It's a It's a Gemara that's brought in Gemara. Kavan shnaful pur b'chodesh Adar sameach Haman simcha gedola. Haman was casting lots which month he should pursue his final solution, extermination of the Jews, and when the lot came out on the month of Adar, he was very happy. Omri said, "Nafli pur b'yerach shemeis bei Moshe." Oh, lucky me. The lottery fell out on the month, it's an unlucky month for the Jews, because that's the month where their leader Moshe Rabbeinu passed away. V'lo haya deya, but he did not know sheb'shiva b'Adar meis sheb'shiva b'Adar neila. That on the 7th of other he passed away, but on the 7th of other he also was born. So, how many overlooked? He overlooked an important aspect of the significance of that day. It's not just the day of Moshiach's passing, it's also the day of Moshiach's birth. And you may be familiar with this uh question because it's actually in many places that have been discussed this. Apparently this makes no sense. Amissa ball balla balla balla balla balla balla. Okay, I know that he passed away on one day, but he was also born on that day. So, passing away is a negative thing, but being born is a good thing. Yeah, but uh let's go through the sequence. He was born on that day, that's a good thing, but then he passed away on that day, which passing away undoes the good thing. So, it's not just like oh, there's a bad thing. Oh, but there was also a good thing. Uh so, it it evens out. No, it doesn't even out. Seemingly, the good thing happened, but then it was undone by another thing and as if it never existed. If somebody's born and then they pass away, okay, so they they were born, now they're alive, then they pass away, now they're not alive. So, it kind of undoes the whole birth thing. Seemingly. Seemingly. Seemingly. Let's find out. But here's the explanation. Moshiach was a shepherd. [snorts] Literally a shepherd. He took care of sheep. In Midian for a year or two. For years or two. He was a shepherd. So, from the time that he came into the world, he was a shepherd. Meaning, it wasn't just something he ended up doing, but that was his essence of who he was. And ultimately, this was manifest as being the shepherd of the Jewish people. Le es go el am Mitzrayim la'avdi'im el Har Elohim. Chorev la'kabalat Torah. He took them out of Egypt, took them to Sinai, and uh led them to receive the Torah. Okay, so Moshe was a shepherd. Got it. Bechol dor vador yachil adam etzmo ke'ilu hu yatzah mi'Mitzrayim. Now, every day, that's the Alter Rebbe's kiddush, right? In Tanya. [clears throat] [snorts] The ma'amar Chazal bechol dor vador, the Alter Rebbe adds, bechol yom, every single day. [snorts] So, the Rebbe says, every single generation, every day, the person sees himself as if he himself came out of Mitzrayim. U'medalech Kodesh Baruch Hu mevarech nosein ha'Torah la'shanah ha'zeh. And the person thanks Hashem. And he makes a bracha. Hashem gave us the Torah, but not gave us the Torah, but nosein ha'Torah, present tense, he's giving us the Torah even right now at this very moment. Chaim. In your night Polosa shel Mosha. So, that person is uh acknowledging the fact that Torah is a living activity of Mosha. U'Maim Chaim, just like Torah, the Torah Mosha gave us is alive. Af Mosha Rabbeinu Chaim, Mosha Rabbeinu is alive. So, Mosha Rabbeinu was not merely a historical figure who led the Jews during a certain period of time. Mosha Rabbeinu continues to be active just as the Torah was not historically given at one time, and that was the end of it, and it was just an event that happened, but rather even after the giving of the Torah, Torah continues to be given in the present tense. Torah is being given now. So, too, Mosha Rabbeinu. He continues to function. He continues to have a role, an active role, in our lives. V'af she'nishtana eifen polazo l'achrei mees Mosha, avada shem, and although, yeah, of course, no kidding, the manner of that action, that activity, changed after his passing, the passing of Mosha, the servant of Hashem. Obviously, we understand that when Mosha Rabbeinu passed away, something happened. We know that. Wasn't like everything was the same. And then the Yeshua had to lead the Jews into Eretz Yisrael. And there was a It was a It was a new It was a new generation. And there was a new system. We all know that. Not pretending that Moshe should have been a didn't pass away. But even though he did pass away, he continues to be active. He continues to serve in his role, albeit in a in a different manner, which we're going to describe. Kibbo al yedei talmidav his pashutus say the Moshiach. One difference is that the way he acts now is through his talmidim and through his extension. That's a concept from the Zohar. His pashutus say the Moshiach. The extension of Moshiach, the embodiment of Moshiach or the Moshiach-like figure in every generation. So, much of the way in which Moshiach continues to be active in the world today is through others. He acts through others. So, therefore, kedai hu yom ha'leida she'chaper ala misas vishinuya bo al yedeha Therefore, the birth is sufficient to atone for or cancel out the negative effects of the death and the changes that were caused by it. Follow what we're saying? Moshiach is about what? Moshiach is about playing this role of shepherd, which means connecting the Jews to the Torah. He did it in his lifetime. He continues to do it after his lifetime. Did the way in which he does it change because of his physical passing? Yes, it changed, but because even after it changed, he continues to do it. So, we see that which started at his birth did not end because of his death. That's why this whole thing makes sense. Otherwise, how does it make sense to say, "Oh, he he died on that month, but he was also born in that month." Yeah, but the dying undoes the the being born. No, no, you don't understand. It doesn't undo the being born. That which Mosha came to the world to to do, his death only changed how he does it, but it didn't take away him doing it. He still does it. Okay. [snorts] Kav in Shvat Yima laid the bucket of his Israel Hashem. Ash. Mosha ba Ailom since his birth, the day of his birth was the day that the sun broke through. The sunshine broke through into the world. The sun sunshine of Mosha broke through into the world. Ve gam ata mayro afki bishinoy. And the sunshine of Mosha is still shining in the world. Albeit in a different manner. But the sun that started to shine, that rose, that dawned with the birth of Mosha has never set. [snorts] Okay. How does this connect back to the people that I was speaking to? Yeshiva Hakdoshah Temimei BeMatriyal. The holy Yeshiva of Temimei in Montreal. Tafkide lekayem tzivyo kos of its purpose is to carry out the written command, the directive in the Torah. Zichru Toras Moshe avdi. Asher tzivisi es b'cheirov al kol Yisrael chukim u'mishpatim l'hokim talmidim anshei Moshe temimim chafetzim b'Torah temimah Toras hanigleh pnimiyus haTorah. We are told, "Remember the Torah of Moshe, my servant, that I dictated to him at Chorev, meaning at Sinai, the statutes and the laws for the entire Jewish people." That's what the Torah says. And that means, in the case of the Yeshiva, to produce students who are Moshe's men, temimim. Temimim is Temimei Temimim, it's the name of the students of Temimei Temimim, of that particular Yeshiva, who are devoted to the complete Torah, meaning they are complete people, and they're com- could devoted to the complete Torah. And the complete Torah means what? Nigleh and Chassidus, and that's the novelty of Temimei Temimim, a Yeshiva where they study not only Nigleh, the the the legalistic aspects of Torah, but Chassidus as part of the official program of Yeshiva. [snorts] Um Yeah, he continues to explain chafetzim b'slavos v'eir chassidusim. Uh and these students are um they They're in- they they're full of passion for the light of Chassidus. V'chol ha'eiskim u'peilim So, anybody who gets involved in strengthening the Yeshiva, in developing and expanding, their reward will be in keeping with their action. Okay, so they're involved in Yeshiva which learns the entire Torah, the whole Torah, which means the hidden and the revealed aspects of Torah. So, then their reward is going to be also hidden and revealed. Those are parallel concepts. The Gashmius being the revealed, the Ruchnius being the concealed. And it'll be continuous and everlasting. With blessings for success in their holy work. We want to remind you all that the Shabbos table companions are going to be available hopefully later tonight, if not by tomorrow morning at 30letters30days.com. It's a nice little PDF that summarizes the letters that we've studied this week and has discussion questions that you can use at your Shabbos table to discuss with your family uh what they gained from these letters. So, check it out at 30letters30days.com. Download the PDF for the Shabbos table uh discussion companion and uh have a wonderful Shabbos Shabbos Mevorchim. Don't forget Tehillim. Don't forget Tehillim. Okay.