Women and Mitzvot (continued): Birkat HaMazon By Rabbi Yitzchak Breitowitz

hi good morning everybody hope uh everyone's well again as as always uh we should have in mind that our T should be a uh for those who are uh in trouble those who are the hostages and really and for every every little bit of Tor mitos is every little bit of tor brings a tremendous divine blessing and we should have kavana that we're asking Hashem for that blessing so in effect when you learn Torah it is also a form of daving it's also a form of even if you don't specifically say words of uh basically last week uh there were two points that we made just two points and we're going to see how they're connected Point number one is that the ability of one person to be Moy another person in a Mitzvah I can make Kish for you I can blow schauffer for you I can um read McGill fori you is predicated on my having an equal obligation meaning only if I am in that Mitzvah can I be mo that's why a child below Bar Mitzvah cannot be mo his mother in KES because he's a cut on he's not that is why non-jew you know even if he reads Hebrew perfectly cannot be Moi anybody in a Mitzvah why because this is the rule of very important rule anyone that is not obligated in the Mitzvah cannot do the mitzvah for somebody else however uh the subdivision of that category I'm reviewing a little bit is that uh uh if I am in the Mitzvah but I was y already because I made Kish already and then you come in I can make Kish again even though I'm not in the Mitzvah anymore and Rashi adds because is Ravens since every Jew is responsible for another Jew if you didn't make Kish it's as if I still have an obligation okay so that explains many things that explains why I can make Kish many times that's why even if I was Yer inet I can blow schauffer again for other people this is the rule of call Isel Raven Z now again be sure you understand it if I was not y Kish I could make kidish for you even without the principle of call is araban because I am directly call Israel araban Z is a backup idea I mean it's an important idea but in this context it's a backup idea when I'm no longer obligated because I was y already gives me the status of still being but if I'm actually I can do it even without Ken Z that right so that's the first piece and we're going to come back to that then we digressed into a second piece which is actually unrelated and we were discussing at the end of last year the various mitzvos that women are exempt from and the mitz and everyone knows the famous rule that has gazillions of exceptions that any mitv a positive commandment Thou shalt do which is z that is time dependent women are generally exempt so let's again enumerate some of the common examples women are exempt from sites because sites is time bound why because we Don't Wear Ties we don't have to wear ties at night why don't we have to wear ties at night because the Torah describes as you shall see them implying according to the draa you have to be able to see it by natural light not by Electric Light therefore is therefore women are not women are not in why becausein is also time bound we don't wearin on chabas or but at least shabas and we don't wearin we also don't wearin at night it happens to be the case Okay so women are exempt fromin women are exempt from lulav because it's only sukus women are exempt from Suka same reason women are exempt from Chau and rashash although the men that they listen because it's Zan it is zanma women are exempt now I didn't exempt that means they could do it but they're exempt from the counting of the OM because once again it's mama so these are examples of where there is an exemption of Zaman now in that category of Zaman Gama in which women are exempt the gamar tells us generally speaking maybe filling is an exception I'll get to it again if a woman wants to do the Mitzvah she still gets reward uh as what is called a meaning say if you do a Mitzvah because you're commanded to do so there is greater reward than if you do a Mitzvah that you're not commanded to do so tosas explains because once you're commanded there's a stubborn yat orara that says I don't want to do it that's why I often joke that um in the reform movement one of the positive developments is that there's been a great great expansion of wearing Fillin many many more people are wearing Fillin than used to so you might think that's good but the additional people are almost totally women so uh if anyone tells you about a reformed je wears to fill in it'll usually be a woman and part of it might be because women are not mosa so there's no uh y now all of this is very clear by the way the rule that greater is one who does a Mitzvah that they're commanded than one who does the Mitzvah they're not commanded is the source of why we celebrate Bar Mitzvah right why is a bar mitzvah aim I mean after all you might say well wait a second it's easier to be a kid I don't have all of these responsibilities the answer is a bar mitzvah is a because we're celebrating that from now on when a child does he is and not according to that logic though one would assume that a Bas Mitzvah should be 100% the same theim is identical uh the boy at becomes the girl at 12 becomes uh so that's why Raj pasin that the idea of a sudas Mitzvah that there's a Mitzvah to make a festive meal for a bar mitzvah doeses apply equally foras it's very very logical but once again I have to admit that uh at least among ashim well again the custom is of course we do celebrate but but mosha wrote it is technically not a sud mitvah uh even though you can make a Kish obviously and D Mosa's argument was that because of the of SAS and the like uh the custom was not to make a big public ceremony now again I'm not I'm not pasing obviously different families do different things but this is at least a a partial explanation or excuse whatever you want to call it why sometimes the Bas mitvah is not celebrated in as public way but theim is exactly the same you're transitioning from TOA okay so this is for sure if a woman wants to take Lula wants to take Suka wants to hear chauffer as as is always the case uh for sure it's mentioned last week that Fillin the RMA adds a particular aspect that not only are women exempt fromin but women should not put Onin because of G because even for a man if a man would have digestive problems uh he should not put Onin and things like menstration are a question of G uh now the Rama is not the Rama is followed by and large uh in the Orthodox world except in the very modern modern women do not put on Fillin but the truth is uh if you go back to the Reon him there are many weon him that say a woman is allowed to put Onin and she will get again the same idea as Lula VRA she will get reward as so ask your local Rabbi if any woman has a desire to put on Fillin uh she should discuss it with her R there is uh the gor says M actually W Fillin uh question is how much of a precedent is that mik b had other problems and there is a folk tradition which has not been verified that rashi's daughters also watch fill there's also a folk tradition they used to teach gar behind a curtain they would actually give Shor to the men after all they had uh the best teacher one could could possibly imagine and they would teach shurm to Men Behind a behind a curtain okay now all of this is very clear the big Big M again I'm reviewing quickly the big big is if a woman voluntarily does a a woman takes a woman sits in Thea and the like is she allowed to make a br on it so this is a huge mlus that starts off with ram and Renu uh rambam is rosha B everyone knows rambam rabenu is actually rashi's grandson and rabenu is a nickname uh his name was rakov Ben mayor one of rashi's sons-in-law was a rabbi mayor and Rabbi mayor had Great sons the oldest son is rashbam rmu Ben mayor and the younger son is RAV Yakov Ben mayor and he was called Renu because the Torah describes Yakov vu as yov is Yakov was a perfect man in his Simplicity of of Devotion to God and therefore since Rab's name was yakob he was called rabenu our Master the perfect one by the way the rashit benas one of the great great writers of ranza uh in the 14th century actually writes people don't realize how great renam is he he says he he in his judgment and the r very esteemed he says ra he considered to be a greater Authority than the ramb which is pretty amazing and then he adds with an didn't want to say perhaps he says even greater than his grandfather again it's not for us to judge but this is how amazingly great rabam was rabam by the way almost died in a crusade he lived during the Rashi died uh right uh right shortly after the first crusade there actually is an interesting Legend which might be true we don't know that Rashi City Tri uh in in France was spared uh the um massacres of the First Crusade and the legend has it that 50 years before there was a starving Catholic Seminary boy who was in the street he had no bread he had no no no bed he had no place to go and Rashi took in this kid this Catholic kid and gave him food and gave him lodging for a few days and gave him some money 50 years later that little kid was the chief Archbishop of that whole area of France and when uh in France and in Germany they began the Crusade which was a March to the Holy Land but they would Massacre Jewish communities on the way the Archbishop gave orders that rashi's City should be spared because of the loving kindness that Rashi had shown him 50 years before to a GU to a non-jew to to a Catholic and the like and this is what K says K says throw your bread upon the waters you never know when it will come back to you it will come back to you uh in some in some way this is quite quite an amazing quite an amazing thing again we don't always know I mean these are some stories we're not sure uh we don't have detailed historical documentation but uh in rabenu already rabenu was um attacked and RAM almost almost died uh in the Crusades but being a May on this issue about women making a on zanma so we have two views we have rambam's View and we have rabenu view in in toos remember the toos again forgive me for just giving the bibliographical details but some people might not be so familiar so it's worthwhile to know if you open up a page of gumar so you'll see in every gamara the inner part of the page is the commentary of Rashi and Rashi takes you through sentence by sentence uh word for word so you understand the running commentary of the without Rashi uh gumar would have been impossible it's liter lit I mean one cannot overestimate what Rashi added to the study of gamorra know people say now well we don't need Rashi anymore because we have art scroll well that may be true but where did AR scoll get it from they got it from Rashi too so you know without Rashi there there would be nothing um now on the outside you'll also see something in rashi's script and the these are called tovos or toot depending how you want to pronounce it correctly which just means additional notes and uh these are notes uh on every part of the talmood that were written literally by hundreds of people there were schools in France and Germany for almost 200 years that were called the schools of the TOA where they would analyze uh discussions and um the founders of the schools of the tophus they're not the only ones were 's grandchildren so R is one of the great great called balos he's quoted many times again he's not the the single author of toos the authors of toos are hundreds of people many of whom are Anonymous now the unique contribution of the balos was that they essentially uh did the same of what we would call hyper text or or links they provided links before there was an internet meaning if you learn Rashi Rashi is taking you through what this page of you have a page of gamorra Rashi explains this page of gamorra but what if this page of gamarra contradicts a different tractate or it contradicts something else so Rashi is not involved in that because Rashi wants you to understand this discussion and when you get to that discussion uh you'll work it out the balatos bring to bear on every single passage in the gamarra all the other talmudic passages and try to resolve contradictions and suggest distinctions that something that looks like a contradiction in point of fact is not a contradiction because there are different distinctions and they say once again I'm not sure if we have proof for this that a typical classroom in the Yeshiva of the tovos had 60 students pretty big class and each student was responsible for one tractate of the tment that they had to know perfectly by heart so so 60 track Bros right so we're learning Baka but you're a you're the Bros expert you're the Shabbat expert you're the Aran expert you're the bakama expert so if there's anything anywhere in Shas in the tal that contradicts or raises a problem it was your job to bring it to the re's attention and then they would discuss it and suggest so each one each students had responsibility for a Mas a tractate so so that everything could be brought to bear so that's an amazing thing uh this is now today with u internet and hypertext and all sorts of links they have these sophisticated things where uh when you're learning a piece of gamari you could see all the cross references right well this was done all the way back in the 1200s this is what the balatos did and and the like so raen is one of the great great Bosa so again I'm I apologize for the digressions but it's I think it's nice to have a feel for for how this works so Ram says the following back back to topic rambam says the following if a woman wants to do a a wonderful thing she will get reward from Hashem as an wonderful but says the ramban in no way can she make a br on such a Mitzvah she can hear the man make the BR and say but she she herself cannot make a and the reason is because the statement would be a lie because what does God Sanctified us with his Commandments and commanded us to sit in the Sucka well rambam argues the woman can do the Mitzvah as an but she can't lie and say Vu it's a she and because it's a sheer if she said such a br she would be taking hashem's name in vain it's not just lying it's lying and therefore taking hashem's name in vain therefore the rambam is that if a woman sits in the Suka a woman takes lul uh if a woman let's say is a blowing chauffeur or whatever it is now again again keep in mind that the rambam is only referring to mitv that women are not like Milla which I'll get to that they and of course she makes a because she's the r is dealing with when a woman is exempt now who doesn't quote the rambam uh Raben argues with this then Raben says explicitly that not only can a woman do a but if she does it she should make a because Vu isim it's not Vitani God commanded me vitu God commanded us she is speaking as a member of the nation of am isra am Isel was given Mitzvah yeah okay some segments were given some Mitzvah other segments were given other Mitzvah but God Sanctified the Jewish people with this Mitzvah and therefore R says a woman should make a this is a big very important if a woman sits in a su should she say a now this is early R and RA are the 1200s when we look at the final in the the was written by R in the late 15th century late 1400s uh and Rio Caro had a certain methodology uh in which he looked at three primary authorities the rambam the Riff and the rush and he went with a two out of three votes so to speak and then we know that Roshe Isis called Rama who's the Rev of CCO added notes to the because the was was reflecting the and if that was if ashm had in Poland Germany and Russia had different traditions the incorporates them so if you open up any it's interesting literally means a set table just like at the Seder although say because said I'm going to give you all of the laws as if I'm setting a table the Rama called his work the mapa the tablecloth although that term you you're not going to see it a lot but but technically the title of the Rama's hag is amendation his additions so if you open up any you will see that block the block letter text is r and then there's a ra I don't mean the commentaries on the side but in the text itself there'll be Rashi words or Rashi scripts and that is R right that's how you know okay and it's always introduced with the word ha haa means U additional note so the Rama's name doesn't appear we know it from the cover page that the additional notes are that of the that of the of the RAR so as a general rule follow rioo who was called the M the author when you see the word m it's R and generally follow the there are exceptions but this is kind of standard practice so the M on this particular issue follows r who says women should not make a and therefore the is women do not make a follows ra who after all lived in France ra himself was ashkanazi and therefore the ashkanazi custom is women make a now one major exception amongst fargan are the kilos of Morocco for various reasons and there's still a lot of debate over this the Moroccan kilos often followed theim of the Rama over the M now Raji ysf was was furious at this uh he thought this was a betrayal of Heritage and he developed a thesis that every people like to blame everything on kabad said Moroccan Jews were ignorant uh for centuries and the only place that established schools for Moroccan Jews were kabad kabad went into Morocco so kabad just imposed ashkanazi uh Customs on Moroccans and once they've come to arel they are obligated to go back to the minhag of spad which is the father of YF Karo well the Moroccan raban were very very offended with this and they pointed out that they were following RAR like you know 800 years ago that they weren't doing it because of kabad but they had it in fact they even said they weren't following rad in other words they came to conclusions which were the same as the Rama but not because they were following Rama but on their own they came to a different different messah so this is a a live debate Raj had a bit of a a running Feud uh with the marakan rabim uh because of their uh crypto ashkanazi Tendencies uh that existed yeah want say amen yeah very definitely very defently Raj also pointed out that he also blamed it he did put some blame on spider because he said that uh in the early years of the state of Israel maybe some of the early decades even uh the SPID had very few and very few bakov and as a result religious girls were educated in ashkanazi schools so they just picked up these things I I think I mentioned my own landlord Z lraa who was uh an Iranian Jew he came to ER Israel uh in the late 50s uh he he went to a Sater he went to satmer I mean he's Iranian he knows he knew yish too you know you know so what's he gonna do so Raj said that this is why it was so that SP him have it's interesting because now you know one of the political issues that we fight over is the dis discrimination against the spartic girls who are in in in the bakov system uh and you know Raj actually argued that separate but equal is better that it is actually better for for there to be a separate spartic schools in order to preserve the Min hug and and the like so this is a huge does a woman who does a does she make a or not make a say yes say no okay now all of this is only relevant on the mitzvot that a woman is exempt from now let's go to the second half and that is there are manyas that women are and we had mentioned last week I think I left you with the question I now want to answer the question that the gamara says there are three cases of Zaman Gama where women are not withstanding Manama one is lighting kanah candles near khaka the second is reading or hearing gester and the third is drinking the four cups of wine at the PES now logically if I just had my basic rule a woman shouldn't have to do any of that because it's a Time bound commandment khah Milla kosas and yet K say there is an override to Z called AES in other words there's an override meaning there would be an exemption but there's something that overrides the exemption called they too were in the miracle so once again you'll remember there's a m Rashi and toos as to what that rule mean when I say toos by the way uh that's an anonymous toos meaning sometimes the toos will quote Renu ru but most toim don't even have a name so when I say that's why we say toos by the way it's important to know in Yesa learning methodology that is why when you sometimes encounter a contradiction between one toos and another toos you can't really ask a question because they could be two different authors only when the toos gives you a name renam says this and somewhere else Raben says this if they're inconsistent you can then raise it as a question but a toos without a name uh you cannot you cannot raise questions because these are hundreds of people be different people okay according to Rashi means a woman was the main reason for the miracle the main reason in order to override Zan a woman has to be the heroin of the situation uh so again let's take our three cases in the case of the four cups of wine but which is connected to say it was the Merit of righteous women that gave us there were in the case of Pim it's Esther hka who inspired us to do cha and to fast in the case of Kaneka it's a little less obvious so Rashi has to bring in kis the story of yehudis which is pretty strange because in Rab in Kaz there's not even a mention of the story of yehudis it's we only know it from the Apocrypha and the like and yet Rashi says that's the that women were considered to be especially important in the Kaneka story that's how Rashi understands a says no it doesn't mean a woman has to be the main heroin heroine it just means that they too were saved that in the case of puim all of us were in danger men and women in the case of MIM all of us were slaves in the case of Kaneka all of us were persecuted so men and women equally experience the burdens of the bad situation and the blessings of the Redemption so that's enough to override Zas you see what's going on here meaning that which would have been an exemption ceases to be an exemption because now so let's take Milla so be sure you understand this it is a that if a woman reads miger of course she makes a braa even according to the rambam because the rambam's argument was simply a woman shouldn't make a on a Mitzvah she's not obligated to go and argues on that one if she's doing a Mitzvah she's obligated to do it's obvious she's going to make a br that's not a question in fact we'll discuss later that according to this it's very very possible the big that not only can a woman read mcgilla for herself and beot say a woman might be able to read mcgilla for a man and be Moy the man because she's equally obligated men and women are equally obligated equally obligated um okay that's Aus but uh you know uh but but certainly there people ask you know in some places maybe more modern but in this uh they have on porm uh separate women's groups where a woman reads Milla to other women okay to read to other men okay you'd have a kicia problem even though technically even that might be okay but let's not go that far but a woman reads Milla a woman's reading Milla group is there anything wrong with that so I I don't want to get in trouble but I guess I'm in Baka I could be a little more liberal uh and and and the idea is that there is technically nothing wrong with it uh if you're asking me a question can a woman read Milla for women with bras with the bras answer is for sure because say women are in m so if you're going to pull out a technical prohibition you're not going to however in some circles it's it's discouraged for various reasons uh they claim you know this may you know you may accept you may not accept it uh they claim that you know it's important Forum that everybody get together uh that we celebrate porum as a whole family that that there shouldn't be separate types of different groupings and therefore it's important that the men the women the children all come together that's part of the to hasem that's part of the Sim and and a multitude of of people is the glory of the king so these are what you might call hasic issues then of course you have the infamous or famous slippery slope argument which you know may or may not be valid although in my experience it has more validity than you might think and that is well if a woman can read mcgilla why can't she blow chaur which of course is very different because women is poer if a woman reads miguela why can't she be a rabbi you know that's called slippery slope meaning something is technically and this is absolutely technically permitted but you know you you permit that then who knows where you're going to go so some people are very emphatic about that some people say listen uh you go where you can go and you don't go where you cat go I mean why are you assuming that every time you do something that is permitted it's automatically going to lead to a you know a tremendously bad thing so I'm again I'm not here to opine I just want to say that kind of whatever your your rev you know paskins there is a legitimate basis uh for that type of decision yeah isn't there a difference between yeah yeah so you're correct you're now again but note the three examples I'm going to get to this because note that the three examples I gave are Allan because kanah Milla and K I didn't mention matah I'll mention mat separately uh so you are correct that the is being invoked only on rinic laws including the delos of PES now so so those are the three exceptions that are covered by aoes now we have other exceptions that are covered by different rules Kish a woman is obligated in Kish if a woman is by herself she must make Kish 100% And by the way she could also make Kish for her husband because same obligation uh why is a woman obligated in Kish it's so this is based on in yro the fourth Commandment is remember the day of chabas in V mosh is reviewing it MOS says Shamar and the difference between Shamar and Zar is Zar is the Mitzvah of remembering by KES and abdah Shamar is refraining from the negatives of shabas soal say since hasem said both at the same time Whoever has the negatives has the positives and since women for sure cannot do work on shabas that's a okay so Kish is a big exception mat eating matah and mor is another exception and this too is based on ju dep position because the Torah says you shall not eat you shall eat matah so we go with the same methodology Whoever has the negatives has the positives now on matah tovos asks a question why do I need to invoke the ju toos argument for matah why can't I use the identical argument of D Coos a be also ni whether you understand it like Rashi that women are the icker reason for the miracle because in the for the reward of Nash we were or whether you understand it like toos that they were in SL whatever it is if is because of then is the same thing that commemorates so here toos gives exactly what you said toos gives a very very important distinction to says that is not strong enough to create a Torah obligation to override zma mean matah is different than the other examples eating matah leer ler is a under Tor but that would be exempt a woman would be exempt for Z grma you want to use a to override the exemption and make a woman T TOA says is not strong enough can create a rinic obligation it cannot create a Torah obligation and therefore in order to obligate women women on a Torah level you have to have the ju position okay so that's that does not work to create a at most it can only create a so we might have said a woman is but to make it aah you have to have something stronger and that is the ju the position of the negative and the and the positive so once again if a woman eats this has nothing to do with ra and the r of course a woman makes the of course okay be sure you remember this the is whether when a woman makes a when she is exempt from a but any for which a woman is then it's 100% certain that she's going to make make a okay so now uh let's go back to the the kidish story of Friday night because all of this was actually an introduction to to the main issue um the gar in Bros has a Shila about women having to bench does a woman have to bench if she eats bread now the gamar says for sure a woman does have to bench because the mishna says 100% question is are they under Torah or are they only under a binacle now why why shouldn't they why shouldn't they beot under Tor benching is not time dependent I mean whenever you eat you have to bench so again why would a woman be exempt Rashi says a woman might be exempt because women did not get they share let's look at the PK of Bening what is the source of the Mitzvah of Bening you should eat and be satisfied and bless because of the good land that he gave you ER Israel now women did not get their own shares in ER remember the story of the daughters of the daughters of their father died in the desert some say he was the wood gatherer on chabas he actually died because of the desecration of chabas although RAB AKA said that and the said to him you know you're either a BAL shamra because if he's not guilty you're making him into a Russia or you're a har because if the ter didn't want to tell you who the wood gatherer is why are you revealing it okay to AA but whatever it is he died in the desert and he had a portion that would belong to him in the land of Israel his portion would be inherited by his heirs he had no Sons he he had daughters but the was not known if a daughter has a right of inheritance when there are no Sons so there was a litigation between salad's brothers and Sal's daughters who would be the yores of his property in ER Israel so lad's Brothers argued if there are no Sons it goes to the brothers so we get that land the daughters argued if there are no Sons it goes to the daughters mosha rabeno didn't know what the Hala was he asked Hashem Hashem said that daughters inherit if there are no sons and therefore the daughters of were Z to get a the of their father in is now there is an act two to that story because they were single at the time and's Brothers had a second argument they said well wait a second here so these girls are they're from the tribe of manasha they're going to get property in the of Masha and let's say they marry men from different tribes they marry people from Yehuda so when they die it'll either go to their husbands if the husband's alive or it'll go to their children their children are not manasha their children are the shavid Yehuda so what's going to happen is Yehuda is going to have property in the of manasha right and over time this could actually mean theoretically that you know most of a tribal uh unit might be diluted with other traps so M went back to hasem for further instruction and the who said a a single daughter who inherits property is only allowed to marry a member of her father's tribe and in that way the yusha will not go from tribe to tribe now it happens to be the gamar has different Dres that that that was only a temporary that's actually not one of the 613 mites the iser of a bought y to marry outside of her tribe was temporary uh so that that's not Lor that that would not apply today that didn't even apply is man mikdash but there was a time that that applied so you see from the story of the daughters of that indeed daughters can inherit their father's portion but a daughter did not get her own portion meaning to say if had a son the son would get a portion as a as a person and he would also get his father's portion a daughter does not have a claim for an independent portion a daughter can only get as an inheritor right and that's why if there would have been Sons the daughter would have been out of luck I mean if would have had Sons the daughters would have gotten nothing at all because a daughter can only get as AET so back to Benin so Rashi says since the Torah connects the mitvah of to the land which God gave you there is a s there is an argument that since women did not get their own they would be exempt from Torah level now that's that's only one side of it I mean the gar has a shil is it though right I don't say that or is it R because I do say that but the reason to exempt would be that's what Rashi says tosos doesn't like that reason because toos says well if you're going to go with that reason then a g shouldn't have to bench you know AAR also did not get a share in ER Israel because AAR did not belong to a tribe AAR could rent property and the like but a GE could buy property that would go back to yovo but a G was not either so toos gives another reason that would apply only to women and that is one of the of that the gamar learns out froma is that in thanking Hashem for food we must also thank hasem for the Mitzvah BR and we say it in Bening and the Mitzvah of tal Torah Al this is actually an essential part of benching on a Torah level so TOA says that maybe since women do not have the Mitzvah of Brit or t t that would be a reason to accept so the gar has a sh now again keep in mind that this argument of Rashi and toos is only one side of the equation meaning gar has a sh are women or are they only and on the r side we have rash and what the exemption would be but on the other side women are meaning all of these arguments are only on one side of the equation there is another side of the equation so what's the answer the gumar doesn't answer it this is what is called B this is Aramaic B that means it is a question for which we do not have a final resolution the gamorra leaves it doesn't use the word te but this is what in other places the gar calls a te we let the question remain as a question now the gamar then asks again Aramaic what's the difference I mean DOA you have to bench D you have to bench bottom line is a woman has to bench what is the difference if it's the rice or Dr on it so the gor's answer is can a woman bench for a man now here's the thing we don't do this too often uh but you know benching is like kiddish I mean the same way I can make Kish for somebody who didn't hear Kish I can recite benching for somebody right if if there's a man who doesn't know how to bench or whatever it is or or maybe his jaw his lips are or oh how did he eat that's good question so I could bench for him I could be mo a person and benching right so there's no question I could be mo a person in Bening can a man and a woman let's say husband and wife right we both ate uh can my wife bench for mear says it all depends on whether the woman's obligation is Torah or the woman's obligation is midra because the man who eats his obligation is a Torah obligation now the fundamental principle that we started off with at the beginning of the year based on the Miss Rashana is in order to be mo a person you have to be obligated in the mitah so if a woman is obligated to bench she is of the same level as the man she could bench for the man but if the woman is only obligated rically right only obligated rically that means under Torah La she's exempt and the man is obligated under Torah law she could not be mo The Man based on the rule so thear says the the difference between whether women or wom is can a woman bench for a for a man now I'm going to add a little wrinkle there are more wrinkles I'm going to I'm to add one single wrinkle and that is it is not the case that every time a man eats bread he's rice at a bench right because here's the other thing the Torah says now that's important the you're only to bench if you're full and you're satisfied if you ate half a sandwich kazas of bread so you have to bench but you're really still hungry but there's no no food left you still have to bench but your benching is only MRA so I just want to point out the following if the man did not eat to to to fullness then he's a draan so for sure his wife could be Moy him because she's either D or daan and he's only daan so the Shila of the gamar is only if the man ate to Fus so he's the ARA she might only be and therefore the question is could she be you have to factor that in as well by the way there's also a what do we mean that you only have to bench if you're full do we mean you're full from the bread itself or you're full from the from everything meaning let's assume you ate a kazas of bread only a little piece of bread enough to bench and you ate a big meal so you're full but you're not full from the bread now steak and potatoes doesn't obligate you to bench so some she just say you have to be full from the bread which would be which would actually that that I think would be pretty rare actually others say no you need a kazas of bread and then you're full from the whole from the whole okay all right so so this is thear yeah about the issue if what is again if say I don't know no you got to say yeah but the answer is there even if the benching is D and you have to repeat that's that when now is different okay I'm gonna stop is different but when it's andabas that's a big some say since you have to go back for you have to go back for okay well we'll stop here and uh I'll have a very good week thank you thank you for coming