Why is it so Hard to Have Kavanah? by Rabbi Yitzchak Feigenbaum

all right Shalom everybody thank you everybody for for joining for the share this particular share has been sponsored by uh elain J as a as a for her father full disclosure El CH is my cousin and mor Ben with my uncle Morty it's Prov Ben y That's me y I'm I'm named after my my grandfather and it's providential that this year was discussing F because he was the consumate b f and certainly just by his ability to arouse theum got people to do even if you didn't know what you were talking about right and once again this SL should be this sh should be a SLU for all the people that need Yeshua and muu and need to come home and need to stay safe okay so we have been doing a series about daving we did Saka today and then of course we're doing which we have a very interesting one today a sort of a providential I know everything in the world's providential um today we're going to deal with one simple topic and that is this uh did did you ever um like find yourself like taking three steps backwards and saying oh I I think I must have just finished monray yeah well me too and and I'm the guy that wrote the f b c it's a clearly a struggle to have C especially if you've been daving for a long time and you know the words and you're saying the same bras time and again so every once in a while a bras sticks know everybody sort of like you know wakes up for Ru unfortunately certainly in today's day and age but but so many other things it's it's really hard to stick with kav it's really hard to pay attention it's really hard to focus all the time and the sh is why is that and and what can we do for it um theba title bomb has a fam is quip right we say very popular these days unfortunately right we say the the the non-jews they use horses and chariots we mention the name of course the context is going to war and winning battles they win battles with chariots and horses we win battles because we was on our side doesn't mean we don't do our stess but in the last analysis what carries the day sh here said the he said the non when they want to take a trip in chariots in order to travel not if we want to take a trip we just mentioned the name of us sh start Ding and boom all of a sudden we're we're we're all we're all over the place so so it is really hard to focus we're going to go through a why it's it's hard to focus on doing it's hard to pay attention in this particular Shear we're going to focus on reason number one which I think is the most crucial the most Central as to why uh some people find it hard to do in and you'll notice some people don't you look around the sh there's guys there they're shling away they're ding away and you're like you know you just you wish would be over there's ladies ding sit plased in their face and their balling their eyes out right and you're just thinking about everything else you know but right it's like why does that happen reason number one is we have to understand daving is a me it's a character trait meaning for example it's great to do is a huge M everybody should do we all try to do B go to hospitals the people in the hospital some people find it easiest pie to do that they enjoy it they're good at making small talk they're they're they're not shy with people they don't mind meeting new people but they're just good at it they they just walk in they how you doing and then SLE men they go to the nurses once's the brn they look and they talk and they smooth they're good at and some people find it very painful they they they're they're socially awkward hospitals make them squeamish they they can't de with the smell it just all the beeping things that make them nervous they they're pet terrified to they don't know what to say what's the right thing to say they put their foot in their mouth they they Mumble they stumble over their words and and and and pick them is just a a huge it's a huge burden which they will do what they really have to but it's they they there's so many things they'd rather do on the other hand they can organize a parli meeting they can organize a brunch they can organize a some kind of fundraising thing without even thinking twice they got they're making five phone calls they got a thing they got the flowers coming from here and they got the text they figured out they called a lawyer and they got tax receipts worked out they got a phone list and they got people making phone calls and they doing they got that they got that that they can do without thinking twice whereas other people they don't know where to start they're making five different lists they're making phone calls they don't know what to do first and what to do second and they're hard palpitations how am I gonna do this I don't know what to do and other people it's a small thing we're just making a dinner for 500 people that's not a big deal I've made you know EV for from 2000 oh a dinner for 500 people yeah no problem make a couple phone calls da d d da and phone that got two phones ringing at the same time and they're cool as two c it's a god-given some people are good at making small thought some people are not some people are naturally organized some people are not right everybody has different things that are they're good at and some that are easy for them as's be phrase that and some and that people have things that are hard for them same thing with ding it's a god-given nature some people are naturally good at it it flows it would roll off their lips they just talk they're comfortable they just do it and some people just don't consider the words that they they can't they're right their brain is full of all sorts of other stuff all full of I'm supposed to be paying attention and I'm not so if you're thinking about are you supposed to be paying attention then obviously you're not you're freaking out take did I I say I supposed to say I say and they can't talk it's a god-given and I'll give you a great example my two boys who are not boys anymore they have teenage children already but when they were teenagers so my two oldest boys who are less than a year apart right but were dramatically different people the oldest one was a natural doer natural laner and natural daver he enjoyed daving he got TR early said and he DAV right DAV DAV his brother who was less than a year younger than him hated daving it was a painful experience hated DAV couldn't DAV couldn't get the words out good didn't just boring he's sitting there just get me out of here just get me out of here same family exact same schooling in the year one grade apart dramatically different what did I do about that well um so the one who haded happening so I made a deal with him right shabas morning like shabas morning spent two two and a half hours and Sh I jump off a roof to jump off a roof but he's he's 15 16 years old you gotta go sh man so I made a deal with him I don't I'm not going to know when you get I don't care I'm going to sh on time I get to time you know how to get there yourself okay I want you to get to sh in time so we could walk home together that's all I want stand in the back you know to do whatever you want when I when we're finished doing I want to see you in the back of the sh and we walk home together of course his older brother said you got I said you know what bud I said I'll die you can take over until then I'm his father let it go okay he'll be fine okay just leave it with me right that was my deal but still okay shabas went to shivas and right but sum my stupid tell you what I did this was a long time ago before internet and computers Right Way long time ago so long ago that we lived in Toronto at the time and Toronto has a baseball team and they're called the Toronto Blue Jay I think they're still there I don't know but I assume I don't know how they're doing now but at the time there was a time when Believe it or not clearly they won two World Series in a row that is just like that that's a bigger NS right after my son who hated daving loved baseball he had pus and all the players and everyone he had the whole thing down his older brother right that two two brothers can you imagine caval so he he he was in baseball and and so Toronto M were playing the World Series right and I went over to him I said would you would you like to watch the World Series now we didn't have a television because I'm from the old school who figured that I would actually like to parent my children myself I didn't few children as people who get in the way and therefore buy electronic gizmos so they can par it for me and keep them out of my hair so I can do what I'd rather do think if the good lord gave me children I guess I'm supposed to parent them and not you know just buy them off with the electronic junk that will fill their head with garbage so they don't get in the way of my life that was a sarcastic aside I apologize okay but um so we didn't have a television I said how am I gonna do that I said you know what I'll rent a television for week you could rent television's backf it's a long time ago okay I'll rent the television for a week and you can watch the World Series I said only one condition he goes what I said five minutes to 10 you stop you get on your bike and you drive down to the Sho the boat the sheel there and you catch 10 o'clock my I'll never forget what he said he said for one crumby my you would went to television and let me watch the World Series I said yeah what you call one that's what my is to me it's worth it I'll read the television let you watch a World Series I want ju just just just for a my his older brother had apoplexy I don't think he almost like stopped eating in our house right my again I'm relax just just just take you time right it'll all be okay right and he did it he was watching a game he had like you know his hat in his hand he's watching my guess is he probably got been better if they were losing I have no idea I did not ask him but he how well he D I have no idea but five minutes dead ran out jumped on sh came back 15 minutes later and kaboo and he watch because I had to show him that it was important because he did not have an intuitive sense it bothered him he didn't get it didn't understand it it was hard for him he's not he it didn't do so I had to some way explain to him that even if you don't it's that's how important it is it's worth a h for for what I went of course just a total aside end of parenting story obviously so course when once he got a little older and he fed out you let me do that you should have forced me to D and why' you let me said you're an idiot I would have forced you to D and you want from today you're a lunatic wait till he have teenagers if you understand it and ATT now he have teenagers he's a cracker Jack seventh grade Reby because of what he went through so like went through the whole process of how a parenting of teenagers goes barash but that's chat it's a meid if you're struggling with your doing or you know someone who's struggling with your doing a friend is struggling with your ding a neighbor struggled with ding other people you know like you know people they they say till them they say till them I I say a par till him and okay I said it like this just seems like I I'm not enjoying this okay like medicine okay okay I'll say another how many am I done I I promise I'd say for 15 minutes 15 minutes up well it's 13 and a half well that's close enough take a deep breath make a cup of coffee and I'm y it's it's a god-given talent don't compare yourself to others don't compare yourself to the other person if it comes easy that's barash is a great gift enjoy it and then Tak and put your heart and soul into doing it's a gift obviously that's you're supposed to be putting a lot of energy into if it's a struggle for you so it's a struggle so then do all the tips that we mentioned for d a little less say a little less say with K Focus we'll give more tips of how to get your diving better you know in the next year or two or three as you we introduce other reasons why ding may be may be difficult for people right but the first you so you need to know you need to know it for yourself you need to know it for your families you need to know it for your friends everyone's saying till them now there's tilling groups and there's there's a seos and people are getting together and they're saying till them after daving and you look around and there's people that are into it and if you're not there's nothing to matter with you you're not a bad person I said for same reason that there's people running around hospitals and delivering packages and visiting cancer patients and making phone calls and other people can't I can't make a c phone call I I can't I can't visit someone I don't know that's so awkward every it's a Meda everybody is different it's different at it a huge important you so to know next week now Us's go back and we must do a vaulting part of next week we'll discuss more reasons why daving might be hard back to B guess what Braha were up to everybody Mur how topical hey that's great you know why it's great because he need to know what did you think M ruri met you know a year ago was it relevant did you know any okay I grew up 5060 Soviet the refus Nick today have most people don't even know what the word refus Nick means the old days you know M Manish Inquisition Matas well how many Mims are there yeah I know my neighbor he got jail for fraud M Maybe not maybe should stay in jail right what's m now thanks right we now we could have in that again what the mean before and we had people taken hostage listen thank you you free those that are in prison the maim offer three explanations of what we are referring to besides of course right people that are literally in a prison one we're in prison in our bodies while sleeping we have no control over our actions we have no control over our thoughts waking up is M assu you can move you can think you can move your hands and fingers and toes you can turn your alarm off you can get out of bed and tie your shoes you couldn't do that while you were sleeping you were sleeping you had no control Matas the very fact that you can move around you don't have to be imprisoned in in in in a tunnel in a hospital in in Aza when we're sleeping we are bound and not in control of things and if our K wouldn't wake us up which we take for granted we we couldn't do anything the point of really really really is to make us not take things for granted like we did with Malby shumi right Mal shumi bem you have clothes duh no duh right same thing one m to walk around I can walk around that don't take that for granted not everybody can walk around not everybody wakes up from their sleep two obviously imprison and physical prisons but by the way the first most common shot funny enough is that's why this is number one really mat is referring to us up from sleep then of course first yes people that are in prison and to a certain extent almost more importantly MIM imprisoned in the prisons we create for ourselves by our own insecurities we imprison ourselves listen to a pelic vort Jose gets out of prison you know when he got out of prison here's a little Snapple fact you can out if there's a conversation that's going boring and you want to throw out some like interesting little tidbit of info Jose got out of prison on Russia sh oh that's cute Russia sh got it's not cute okay save them a fortune k b could have arrangement to get out of prison any day of 365 days a year why because BR arrange it on Russia shut all right Russia shut right because that's part of part of our problem we create prisons for ourselves I'm what's the point of rash I'm G to do cha n I'm doing CH the same dumb stuff I did last I'm a lost C there's no point same thing same year I've been the same Rabbi F bom I'm telling you for the last couple of years I've been still I'm still strugging with the same dumb stuff you know what I would tell them well you know what r f mom is almost 74 years old and he's still struggling with saying dumb stuff okay we create prisons for ourselves and we give up on ourselves power of Y getting out of prison rashash and rash's a new opportunity every day is a new opportunity bky you're Ming give us the ability to break out of our own insecurities and you give us the ability to become new people it's a new day it's a fresh day it's a new start M helps those get out of prisons in in AA he we got out of the prison of sleep and we can walk around and he can help you get out of the prison of your own mindsets of your own personal insecurities of your own it's that me I'll never be any better right he can help you get out of out of that prison Also let's do one more Z Kim now Z Kim are those that are Ka they're bed over it's okay if he helps you stand up right to stand up right right who gives right you give those who are bent over the ability to stand up straight what does it mean bent over well obviously bent over is physically bent over but say the maim about I'm not physically bent over I'm pretty healthy I'm strong but all of us have hardships all of us have difficulties all of us have things that burden us down big things little things parasa and health and children and grandchildren and what's going on in the world and anti-semitism and and and the struggles that it's so just hard to like so is sayk you give us the ability to deal with our struggles and stand up straight Karu never gives you a struggle you can't handle he doesn't give you a test that you can't handle tested why do you have to test him knows very well he's not a teacher who doesn't know if the kid knows the material or not so you give a test because knows he knows he's if he's not a he gives him a test so that he can bring his potential out into the the into the practice so that he personally can do the right thing to be deserving a reward and therefore he never gives somebody a test where which where you're doomed to failure because there's no point doing that so he gives you test that you theoretically could pass if you put your mind to it that's what we need need to remember he's Z Ki right and as we answer but I can't I've tried I keep on falling back down yep but Chev pic for cup as all my students know posic says that sadic falls down seven times and gets back up what do you mean the sadic falls down seven times and gets back up what's he doing falling down sadim is not the idea that he never sends AIC is someone who gets back up what is the source of to give us test we can't handle look at the raan his whole idea of the test is for to bring it out into the into into action that's the look at it carefully that's where we get the idea that I there no point onb giving you a test that you can't handle then you'll just fail it the purpose of the test is for you to bring your potential out into action if H knows that that's not going to happen anyways so then then then he then he doesn't have to do that he knows you're in Russia right but he he gives you the test because he knows this is a great opportunity for you to bring the potential into action th be deserving of of even greater reward and we he gives us the ability and by saying that braa we're convincing ourselves that today's a new day and it's gonna be a better day than it was before and M everybody should everybody should be able to M get out of their own preconceived ideas right and and struggle with life does seem to be overwhelming they absolutely but that's MIM and Kim they go together gives the ability to deal with it and he gets you out of your own imprison mindsets and you can move up and forward no matter what a k b throws your way certainly in the real practical terms he will in the last analysis will be will make sure that all the hostages who are physically assu will be able to physically go home a wonderful day everybody should have all that need yeshu andu everybody should see yeshu andov Mish as we say a lot of us and thank you all for joining Mish