Why is it So Hard to Have Kavana (Part 3) by Rabbi Yitzchak Feigenbaum

recording in progress okay well you know really that is true uh all the time that is true all our whole life you know that there's always a recording in progress let's just remember that folks okay a little muser here fromom okay welcome back everybody it's good to see you all hope we all had a wonderful Kaneka we missed you last Sunday but B we were actually in the OU Center on on the Kaneka itself once again to the U for all they do to spread the Tyra and this all this learing should be exclus for everybody that needs Yeshua and all the people that need to get home safely from wherever they are and whatever they are doing okay we've been doing and this will be the last one on this particular topic we've been doing why is daving so hard remember part of thing is daving and then we do we'll continue with um [Music] um so our topic is why is daving so hard part one was why is daving so hard because daving is a mea quite a few people challenged me on that and but I don't care I'm right right daving is a Mida it's a god-given it's a talent just like because Aid some people have it easier and some people have it harder you know being calm is a good character trait but God makes it easy for some people and hard for some people some people are born a critical nature and it's a lifelong work for them to be C and again a judges you subjectively so what for you was a it was pretty C for somebody else would have been a failure right but a CO Brook who makes you that way I don't know if this is true um I ask I I asked I asked somebody they said they don't believe it but if it is true it would be really cool right from P zal if anybody ever knew him or or read books about him was the the calmest kindest gentlest human being that ever could have created the most calm kind unbelievable supposedly I asked his son he said he doesn't believe that's true but supposedly he once told somebody that that was not his god-given nature his Goden nature was to be like a more critical and little impatient and he worked on himself to be the P who is known worldwide as you know patient beyond beyond patient whether that's true or not I I have no idea but the concept is certainly true so just like patient is a is a god-given and some people will find it easy and therefore they're judged more harshly on it because hasem expects more from them in the area of patience for some people it's naturally hard right same thing with doing doing is is a god-given the ability to communicate to talk right some people are just good they talk they communicate they express themselves all over and they FR Brook expects them to express themselves well to him some people just do not express themselves well and get Tongue Tied everywhere and therefore D is going to be more Tongue Tied that was one two another reason daving is so difficult to get into the language you want to do in Hebrew because L but you don't understand what you're saying and again you can't do daving you can put on filling no matter what you're thinking you did it you ate the Mata you ate the mat DAV is not like that just to say meaningless words that's that's not doing right you know you're missing the whole connection so it therefore it becomes much more difficult and now today number three number three is that the reason some people find daving so difficult is because they're they're trying too hard what does that mean meaning um we have a tendency to look around at everybody else and we see you know we we see the guy shuckling away and crying and the D di the L the sers pled into their face and they're boiling their eyes out I don't know how ladies ding with the c plas in the face I don't know how they read the words but minut benos all over of all ages right and you look at them and say why can't I do that I'm gonna do that I want ding to be an experience you want an experience if smoke marijuana have an experience right you want an experience to go to a mountain toop and stare into space right if you're trying to have here's the mushro that I always always give for teenagers but teenagers of all ages you've never been on a roller coaster you go to Music Park what's that that's a roller coaster so that looks pretty nut oh it's the funnest it's it's the funnest thing ever it's gal right gotta try it man right and if you get on the roller coaster Cape you get on I'm not having fun yet am I having fun start go I wonder why it's going up I wonder why it doesn't go down I wonder why it doesn't go higher go slower right well and the whole time you're analyzing the trip to see if you're having fun you're not going to have fun just get on the roller coaster and just do it and when it's all over say that was either that was fun or that was not fun with if you start ding with the mindset that I am now going to have an intense relationship with a I gotta really try and do that it's not gonna happen it it's not gonna happen you got to be yourself and you got to relax and you got to just talk to baru right the the side is is if you can't get along with yourself then you can't get along with others and if you can't get along with others you can't get along with a you got to be comfortable with your own skin and just relax and be comfortable with what you're saying some people are trying too hard they have a vision of what DAV is supposed to be they've read too many books they've seen too many cheesy videos and they're trying to mimic somebody else you cannot mimic somebody else in doing and when it comes to a particular technical M so you watch how an Adam GLE what he does well that's how he does it how does he hold the K and how does he make the BR when he lights candles when does you light the candle I want to do I want to do the technicalities right so you want someone who really knows the technicalities well and you can mimic the technicality so you do exactly right so you let your exactly how you're supposed to how you supposed to hold things do hold you don't hold you put it down oh okay a lot of things are complicated mat but you want to watch other people do mitv because they know what they're doing and therefore you see how to do it that's great but to try and watch someone else have an intense diving experience and then just mimic the externals by shaking back and forth and closing your eyes and trying to you got to relax and talk to yourself same it ends with right that's the third right what do you mean singular give you singular Shalom the Kohan are blessing the whole Community right they're blessing the whole Shu right and and and they're giving this whole to everybody right it shouldn't be plural should give you plural shom meaning you guys should all get along Shalom is between people so you you want to get along with everybody else should give all all of you all of you plural pieace why does it say should give you sing piece because you can't get along with other people you don't get along with yourself if you don't get along with yourself you're not going to be able to Dove it because you're not comfortable in your own skin you can't talk to yourself because you're uncomfortable talking to your own self if you're uncomfortable talking to your own self you're gonna be uncomfortable talking to KB and why you uncomfortable with yourself know speak to your therapist and don't know that's a good question everybody has for Reas why they're not un also partly god-given some people just get along with everybody including themselves well some people struggle with that whatever your life history is whatever your life situation is whatever you've gone through but one of the reason people find outting difficult is they're trying to mimic others they're trying to create a a a a an experience and that doesn't happen it will be an experience if you just relax and just learn out what's on your heart and believe that you really talking to a who really cares and really hears you and you just say it in the best way possible right rather than trying to mimic somebody else's experience or trying to mimic what you read somewhere in in in a book that's the other reason dting is difficult now I want to get back to Bak we have a very very difficult BR coming up thank you all right first of all last week we did sh Al called Sor if you remember K bur gave me everything I need we asked the question if a k bur is giving me everything I why do we ask him for things and we dealt with that at length last week one of the things you need is you need to have a relationship with therefore one of the things you need is to be missing things because if you aren't missing things you would never talk to him in the first place one great V that is in my sitter which we did not mention is of course this Brook is in the singular pretty rare everything's in the plural ting bless us with a good year right this is God gave me all that I need say the Bal mus because you have to believe that gave you all you need but when it comes to somebody else and they need something your response to them is said oh if you need it God we give it to you p b will gives you everything you need though when it comes to somebody else if they need something you got to try and give it to them don't work you're right maybe doesn't want them to have it and there's nothing you're going to be able to do to help them that might be possible but alari when it comes to my neighbor I'm responsible to make sure they have what what they need that's for sure and as he pointed out us called sari means all the difficulties all the difficult that we have in life that's also what I need just to share though I know khek is over but to share just a great for that ties into that very famous question and we thank thank you for the miracle okay he did for us then and he do for us now thank you for the Salvation right that you did for our forefathers back then and basas and now you also make salvations thank you thank you for the N thank you for the POR thank you for the G for all the strengths chos sh and thank you for the battles that you did for us what do you mean we thank AEM for the battles you mean thank you Hashem that we won the battles that's not what the word say thank you Hashem that you fought our battles that's not what it says it says thank you for the Miracles thank you for the salvations thank you for the victories and thank you for the battle we want battles yes we do because battles are what helps us grow battles are the exercises that K Burk who sends our way so we can exercise our patient muscles when we're you know standing in line in the store when we're double par and we really got to check out fast and there's somebody in the front of us who's like paying counting out in nickels and dimes and discussing with a checkout girl her grandson which she thinks would be a great sh and you are double parked and you're gon to get a ticket and you just gota thank you Hashem for that battle you you sent me a struggle you sent me the struggle of patience you were born during the Inquisition thank you Hashem this was my struggle to go down into a basement of light shabas candles you were born in the Golden Age of Spain thank you Hashem that I have this beautiful castle and I have so much freedom and I hope I don't mess it up thank you Hashem that you were born into a family which is wealthy which has struggles thank you Hashem you were born into a family which is poverty stricken which has his struggles thank you Hashem you were born in noville Idaho and he didn't know you were Jewish till you were 27 thank you I was born in Mayar in the you family's been here for 20 centuries thank you Hashem for all the battles that you send our way a called sori he gives me everything I need and he sends me the battles the exercise he's our physical trainer right he's our expert physical trainer much I give it you hire a physical trainer you pay me a thousand bucks a month he comes into your house he says Fen bomb says yeah okay I checked it out I want you to do 10 you know 10 situps one two three I said That's it man I can't do more P mom do more what do I tell him hey bud I'm pay you a thousand bucks a month okay you tell tell me to do four don't tell me to do 10 and he says no no do 10 and I'm like an idiot listen to him what are you listening to him for you're paying a salary because I know that he's an expert and if he says 10 then I should do 10 because he knows better than me what'll be the best thing for my physical development same thing with the who's our personal trainer and he sends us exercises also the C gives me everything I need including the exercises and struggles that I need when I was born where I was born how I was born with what I was born the stuff that comes my way as we go through life thank you Hashem you give me everything I need including all the struggles that I need to be the best me that I can be that's called the next BR very complicated we thank you what do we thank you for two different doesn't make a big difference he prepares arranges he prepares he arranges the steps of people what do you mean he arranges the steps of people the beim give two different explanations or or or say that it refers to do different things that we're thanking Hashem for one is he he directs our steps why were you in that place at that time because a wanted you in that place at that time he wanted you to be in wherever you are he he he wanted you to be there he wanted you to miss the bus he wanted your plane to be delayed he he he because that's where where you're supposed to be he sets it all up and we say thank you ASF because again similar to our struggle he wanted me to be you know grow up in Mayar I I would have grown up in Mayar he wanted me to catch the flight I would have caught flight it was ridiculous how could I he didn't want me to be in that City he obviously wanted me to be here right I was living in Eric we were staying in AR Israel our children were born in AEL I own an apartment in AR Isel I had a uh you know everything I needed I had a job in AEL Shem decided he wanted me to be in Canada so he sent me a daughter who was who was lgic he uh created he sent me guys that came to Isel and said you need this bra it's only available in St Louis New York and Canada and he had me decide I should be in Canada right Miss usly call CY are the challenges right the specific challenges that happen the junk that comes in my way which I struggle with the demotic Govern is not necessarily a struggle right it's a similar idea right to the previous one that's correct but it means he he arranges where we go he arranges where we end up he sets up our reality right and we say thank you for that because if he wanted to be in why if he had had he wanted be stay a I would have sure he would have arranged it but obviously he wanteded to be in Canada for whatever reason he wanted to be in Canada right and he wants everybody to be wherever he wants you to be he wants he to be at that street at that point in that time go is one two this is thanking AEM for allowing us to make decisions and allowing us to do them he he lets us make decisions for better for worse and it carries through and he doesn't interrupt our free will even though he says this is such a bad idea this is you're just that's you're on a oneway ticket to get ahead of my friend but hey go for it free will dig your own great Free Will right B theah someone who wants to do something to missb will help you right won't Force you it'll make it easy a ball at you're coming to do something which is unclean the door is open kind doesn't help it doesn't push you in that direction but the door is open why are we thanking him for that hey I got a spk like help me out man like this is a bad idea so like you know make the car stall you know Now's the Time For You know to have a traffic jam if I'm going to a place I shouldn't be going like if this deal is a strikly crooked I mean it's not really crooked it's sort of crooked it's like quasi I'm going to give a big donation God will understand right but if he knows it's a bad idea so help me out God let fall through oh no no no I make him inside go he gives you you take the step you want a step you take you want to take a step in that direction you take take a step in that direction you support us allow us to make for better for worse thank you because we'll only learn from our own mistakes because B is always cleaning up our messes for us we'll never learn so we got to do the deal we got to and it's slightly crooked and it's a little bit dis and hopefully we'll learn from it and we'll learn Halas and we'll go back and we'll look back and say know it wasn't really honest it wasn't right thing and we'll do chuva and we'll learn for next time you're never going to learn if if you don't fall all parents know that Gotta Give Your Kids a chance to make mistakes you're never going to learn if you don't make mistakes whether to ro in Toronto say why are older people smarter than younger people because we've made more mistakes part of the greatest challenge of for parents and is if kids are not going to learn without giving them the opportunity to make their own mistakes how do you allow them to make mistakes without your entire school or family falling apart right if we if we if we don't give them room to breathe if we are not missing M go we don't let them make their own steps because we step stop them all the way I mean you can't let a three-year-old cross the street by themselves but if at age 20 they still need somebody to cross them the street we've we've crippled them right a great challenge at all I always say the best compliment I ever got from a a grad it was thank you rby f m for letting me make dumb mistakes but never making me feel dumb that I made them but they got to make dumb mistakes the question is how does this work where is do we have free will that we're we are deciding which road to take where to go where to move what to do and which is God arranges it they're both part of the BR you arrange all our steps you're the one that puts us where we're supposed to be you you you set it all up so if I'm driving up Street a God wants me to drive up Street a right he wants me to man Street a right because he right so then where's my free will where where does free will go what does God arrange and and and what does God not arrange and I choose right how much do I choose and how much does God quote unquote stick his nose in and he arrange that's the great sh everything is in the hands of Heaven except for mind what does that include that's complicated and we're going to dedicate next Shear to discuss that very tricky topic so we have a clear clear understanding of what do we blame God for it was bash it was Basher that's what wanted it was bash shared and what do we blame ourselves for that was just your stupid decision but right that was your decision don't blame God for that one okay how how does that play out precisely because the BR said God does both share it share it got ranges it by share he lets you do whatever you want he lets you do whatever you want he gives you the ability to do whatever you want so what's by share then what is we're doing whatever we want get the precise understanding of that so we can move through life carefully we will dedicate next she to that and in the meantime have a wonderful ating uh super day and again this the the learning should be for Yeshua for everybody who needs andos and needs to come home safe and sound and M the ship okay everybody and thank you very much